WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Wednesday, 27 August 2025 18:17

Published: Wednesday, 27 August 2025 18:17

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 435

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

 

No graphs and visual wizardry for you yet of course (they’re coming soon!), but here are your Top FIFTEEN starting QBs in the TSL:

 

 

 

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat What a Dump 35-14 (Legends), beat D-Generation XYZ 52-47 (Stunts)

3-0 and collectively averaging an ALMOST League-best 46.33 points per game (Balls Deep and Flying Balls are, somehow, better than this).  Can't argue with a start like this.  The Stunts won a close one like they always do (by a score of "a lot" to "also a lot") and the Legends made it look easy against a VERY talented What A Dump squad.  We don't think either team goes undefeated (someone's bound to have a bad attendance week, right?) but it's not impossible.

 

#2 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat Eyes Downtown 37-29

Joey Batts has the higher points per game (see above)... but only if we throw the Stunts game into his numbers.  If we stick to just D1 though, somehow the Sticky Bandits have outscored Legends through two weeks, while facing debatably a harder schedule.  That seems impossible.  Meanwhile Sticky Nation and Eyes Downtown always seem to meet in the playoffs (at least the last... Spring, Winter, Fall, Spring, and Winter?  The Commissioner would know this) so regular season probably doesn't matter too much to either team, but if it does, the Sticky Bandits just locked up a huge tiebreaker.

 

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 37-29

The first matchup of "Big Three QBs" in the Power Rankings this season did not go Bobby's way.  You can't win them all, as they say.  But Bobby sure as hell wants to!  Eyes Downtown have surely circled September 20th on their calendars, as that's when they'll take on Legends for a chance to REALLY jump up the Power Rankings.  Until then, we expect this team to win every game... and probably by a few scores each time.

 

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Tied What a Dump 22-22

Frodo's season so far has consisted of a 1 point loss to What a Dump and... a tie with What a Dump.  So, what do we know about Frodo this season?  Well... they're ABOUT as good as What a Dump!  You may be wondering why Garrett is ahead of Cody in the Power Rankings, despite failing to beat him twice this season.  And it's a good question.  But ultimately Cody is throwing to Derek and Andy, and Garrett is throwing to whoever he can grab off the sublist it seems.  And that's a point in Garrett's favor (or so we think).

 

#5 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Tied Frodo Swaggins 22-22, lost to Legends 35-14

We are very sure that What A Dump are, at worst, the fourth or fifth best team in the League right now.  At their BEST?  Well, we're sure they can beat Frodo (they have already!), and we're pretty sure they can beat Eyes Downtown or Sticky Bandits too.  But they still seem a tier below Legends.  Now to be fair, EVERYONE seems a tier below Legends these days, but if What A Dump is going to shock the world this season (or next) they'll need to figure out how to show up against the best team in the League.

 

#6 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Lost to the Malones 31-24

It looks like Can't Touch This won't have another undefeated regular season against D2 this session...  But they DO have a chance to avenge last week's loss to the Malones THIS week, as the rematch is apparently happening right away.  The Godfather will surely pick that as the 12 pm Game of the Day (Flying Balls vs Three Tuddies aren't quite at that level of epic grudge match just yet) and if we had to bet on it, we'd say CTT win the rematch... in the last minute of the game, of course.

 

#7 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 47-44

The Wanderers are back to their winning (regular season) ways, following up a Week One bye with a dramatic last minute win over Interdimensional Lightning Falcons.  Do you think it gets dull winning every regular season game, just to suddenly feel the stress of expectations in the playoffs every season?  (We should ask the Cunning Stunts, who know that pattern better than anyone.)  Undefeated and averaging 47 points per game is the best start Frank could have asked for.

 

#8 Andy Strug – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Can't Touch This 31-24

Well look who's in first place in D2!  The Malones took down their biggest rivals on Saturday for a hard fought win, with a rematch on deck for this Saturday.  There are two teams that will get first round byes in D2 - isn't it crazy to think that the Malones could essentially lock one of those up in Week Three with another win against Can't Touch This?  (yeah, we know that isn't what "lock up" means, but is anyone else going to beat Malones TWICE if Can't Touch This couldn't do it?)

 

#9 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Beat Passing While Intoxicated 44-26

The Jabronies lost their first game of the season to the division leading Malones... and since then they've won games by 15 points and 18 points.  Admittedly, we weren't very high on the Jabronies chances last season (they seemed to play well against Scared Hitless and almost nobody else) but this squad looks different.  Joe is playing with confidence and he might have the athletes to keep up with the top D2 teams this season.

 

#10 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks / Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to Unit Ha Ha 26-21 (Mavericks), lost to Passing While Intoxicated 49-18, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 37-32 (Scared Hitless)

The worst point differentials in D1 and D2 both belong to Jordan's teams right now, which was not the start to the season he was hoping for (okay Freeballers point differential is much worse, on a per game basis, so there's that).  But expectations are key here - Mavericks was never going to come out of the gate beating everyone up in their first season in D1, and Scared Hitless were 2-6 last season with a different QB (who had MUCH more experience throwing to these receivers).  Neither of these teams seemed likely to win much the first month of the season.  We won't judge them how they start the season... but we will judge them how they end the season!

 

 #11 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Lost to Jabronies 44-26, beat Scared Hitless 49-18 (PWI), lost to Wanderers 47-44 (ILF)

Buddy went 2-1 on Saturday with a 31 point win in D2 (great!), a loss in which he scored 44 points in D3 (great for Buddy, bad for ILF!) and a loss in which he got soundly outplayed by Jabronies (not great!).  We expect ILF to be a competitive if not overwhelming team in D3 this season... but we're still trying to decide what we think of PWI.  They turned over MOST of their roster after winning D3 so this is almost a brand new team, and it's full of talent (particularly female talent).  Are they going to be able to hang with The Malones or CTT?

 

#12 Matt Glowacki - Unit Ha Ha

Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 26-21

In the Spring of 2019, the Topper Sports League (R.I.P.) debuted a new article called "The QB Power Rankings", and in its inaugural ranking Matt Glowacki ranked seventh.  We have done 97 QB Power Rankings since then, and Matt is JUST NOW on the verge of a comeback to the Top Ten!  Unit Ha Ha got their first ever win as a team after jumping STRAIGHT to D1, and they're square in the middle of the standings now at 1-1.  The only thing cooler than a brand new team in D1?  A brand new COMPETITIVE team in D1!  Welcome back, Matt.

 

#13 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair Don't Care / Ready to Retire

Last Week:  Lost to Scared Hitless 37-32 (GHDC), lost to PowerPuff Girls 29-20 (R2R)

Eickhoff has played four games this season, including a close loss to Can't Touch This, an even CLOSER loss to Scared Hitless, a close loss to PowerPuff Girls, and a win over Come From Behind.  He probably wishes he won the Scared Hitless game (hell, he probably wishes he won ALL of them) but that's a tough schedule to start the season!  Can either of these teams compete for their championships this season?  D4 seems more wide open, so we'll say that one is more likely at the moment.  

 

#14 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week:  Beat Practice Squad 46-15

Buffalo Vice are undefeated and averaging 40 points per game.  When we do our fancy graphs at the end of each season, we always say that 40+ is the magic number, that's where every team would love to be (and so few are).  The only knock on Vice so far is that neither of their wins were against the "top teams" in the division.  Oh, Bullet Club went to the Finals last season, so maybe they'll be a top team by the end of the session, but currently their opponents this session are in 6th and 8th.  Can Vice hang with Wanderers?  They must have played ILF and the Stunts in D4, does anyone remember who won those games?

 

#15 Damien Keller - D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week:  Lost to Cunning Stunts 52-47

Scoring 47 points and losing must feel pretty lousy - You're supposed to win if you put up 40!  Incredibly, DXYZ, ILF and Buffalo Vice are ALL averaging exactly 40 PPG, and they're STILL behind the Stunts and Wanderers in offensive points per game.  Apparently D3 is where to go to watch shoot-outs.  Loss to the Stunts in the Katie Keller Bowl aside, DXYZ will learn a lot about how good they are in the next couple of weeks against division leading Buffalo Vice and Wanderers, who are now a combined 3-0.

 

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

 

 

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

 

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 8 POWER RANKINGS

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Wednesday, 18 June 2025 18:04

Published: Wednesday, 18 June 2025 18:04

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 963

Welcome back to the final TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the season! 

Yes, unlike our way more productive colleague the Godfather, we don't write articles during the playoffs.  Although we did produce a lot more content than the Sentinel this year, so we’ll pat ourselves on the back for that…

For playoffs, we like to sit back and just watch the show, the fireworks, the bloodbath, whatever you want to call it, without having to analyze anything.  So, with this being our last article of the year, we've saved a lot for you.  We have our final Top 25 Quarterbacks of the year (spoiler: not a lot of movement this week, as VERY few teams beat someone seeded higher than themselves on Saturday) and then our usual playoff division analysis where we look at each playoff race in detail to pick out any trends in the data we can find.  Plus, some other stuff.

This will be our longest article of the year with lots of time-consuming charts and graphs so we skipped the individual QB write-ups this week and just included the Power Rankings themselves.  You don't need us to tell you how good or bad your team's QB is at this point… your record speaks for itself!

***

Division by Division Review of the TSL

For our final analysis of the season, we're going to show you the following:

• The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division.  We backed forfeits out of all of our numbers below (in case you’re wondering why the totals don’t match what you see in the Standings for some of these teams) and then we tried to color each team's data by their official jersey colors.  Of course half of this league apparently uses the same colors, so it's not perfect (sorry Cunning Stunts for your sexist pink coloring!)
• A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with a similar "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we've used in previous seasons (if you're winning games by an average of 7+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 7+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math of your team's point differentials).  For what it's worth, in the last eight seasons that we've been showing these graphs, we've had 31 eventual division champions classified as "Favorites", 23 as "Contenders", and exactly zero as "Pretenders".  Favorites won 5 divisions last Spring, compared to only one contender. 
• A quick twitter sized (or "X sized") recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group.  Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think Balls Deep are overrated, but if the underlying numbers say their team is underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended thinking the "website is being mean".  We're just reading numbers off a website, man.  Relax.

And away we go!

Division 1

The Headline:  Legends STILL the heavy favorites, Eyes Downtown have a real chance, everyone else are underdogs.

Underrated:  Here are the point differentials of every “second worst team” in their divisions: Jabronies -11.4 PPG, 716 -11.6 PPG, Come From Behind -8.3 PPG, Stir the Sauce -15.4 PPG, Irish Giants -7.6… and What a Dump at -4.0.  We’re not saying this is a great team.  They’re fifth in D1 in wins/losses, fifth in point differential, fifth in offense, and fourth in defense, so they’re pretty much exactly where their stats say they should be.  But as a “second worst team in their division”, is the gap between them and the contenders REALLY that big?  Throw out their two losses against Legends (and their win against a D2 Crossover team) and EVERY game this season was within 10 points.  Is it really so hard to imagine a couple lucky breaks going their way in the playoffs?

Overrated:  Frodo Swaggins are the #3 seed in the Division, on the strength of having the third best offense… but their point differential says they should be fourth, their defense says they should be fifth, and they also had the good fortune of playing Freeballers twice this season to pad their record a bit.  Against the top two teams in the Division (both of whom they’ll likely to have to beat on June 28^th to win a championship) they were outscored 89-24 in the regular season.  We’re not saying this isn’t a great team (you can’t finish in third place in D1 and NOT be a great team) but we are saying the gap between #2 and #3 is pretty sizeable this season. 

Division 2

The Headline:  Are the Malones the only ones who can stop Can’t Touch This?

Underrated:  Oh, this is an easy one.  When we look at point differentials, what do most D2 teams have in common?  They all got to beat the shit out of Show Me Your TDs exactly once to massively pad their stats.  The only team that did NOT get a free blowout win?  The Jabronies, who finished the season at -80 on points.  If they beat the worst team in TSL history 80-0 (like everyone else) their point differential could have gone from -11.4 PPG to even!  Would that be enough to put them into the Can’t Touch This/Malones/Mavericks tier?  No, but it would put them higher than Scared Hitless (who they beat TWICE this season).

Overrated:  The Mavericks finished with a 5-3 record, good for second place in the division.  But look at the chart above and you’ll see that it’s Can’t Touch This and the Malones that are the top two teams in offense, defense, and total point differentials.  Mavericks finished third in each category, and their two games against Can’t Touch This were… not very inspiring (they were outscored 99-31).  If D2 is Can’t Touch This’s division to lose (and it is), then the Malones look like their biggest threat this season, not the Mavericks.  And unfortunately the Malones vs Mavericks is already a lock for the semifinals, so Mavericks can’t even hope for the Malones to do them a favor and knock out Can’t Touch This for them.

Division 3

The Headline:  One of the most even divisions in the TSL from top to bottom… except the Wanderers are a class above the rest.

Underrated:  In terms of actual odds of winning the championship, most of the early rounds don’t matter a whole lot - if the D3 championship is going to come down to Wanderers vs Everyone Else, then it begs the question of which team plays the best against the undefeated Wanderers?  Only two teams came within 8 points of the Wanderers all season: Becca Gets Reccked (who have seemingly had a different sub QB every week) and PWI.  Passing While Intoxicated has the third best record in the division but the second best point differential, and they fell to Wanderers 55-52 just a few weeks ago.  Okay, so they can’t play defense, but that offense is pretty damn good when it needs to be.  If you’re looking for a spoiler, it’s Buddy Lee and PWI.

Overrated:  Four teams in D3 finished with three wins this season, which at a glance would suggest that they’re all ABOUT equally good.  They’re not.  Bullet Club finished with a positive point differential.  Becca and Buffalo Vice both finished just under, at about -5 PPG.  The fourth three-win team was 716, who finished at -11.6 (WELL behind even two-win D-Generation X Y and Z) and with the worst defense in the entire TSL (outside of Cobblestone and Show Me Your TDs… but we’re not sure those really count).  The good news is that 716 did beat their play-in opponent DXYZ in the regular season, so maybe they can do it again.  But without the subs they’ve used so much this season (who won’t be available in playoffs) it’s hard to imagine them going much further than that.

Division 4

The Headline:  Three very good teams, three hopefuls, and Cobblestone.

Underrated:  There are three teams that stand out above the rest in D4 this season between ILF, Mike’s and Bird Watching in our Birkenstocks.  One of them we don’t necessarily believe in as much as the others (see “Overrated” below) but it DOES seem very likely than the winner of the division comes from this group.  So, who is the most underrated?  We’ll take ILF here.  They’ve lost one game all season by 2 points, wayyyy back on May 3^rd and since then they’ve crushed Bird Watching and barely beaten Mike’s Detailing.  A six-game winning streak including W’s against their two closest rivals?  We’re sold.

Overrated:  Usually, we like to pick teams whose point differentials look better than their record as our most Underrated team.  This time, we’re picking one as our most OVERRATED team.  How could we call Bird Watching in our Birkenstocks overrated, when they have the best offense, defense and special teams in their division?  Well, they were +151 on the season… but +122 of that comes in two landslide wins against short-handed Cobblestone.  Take away those games, and they’re just +29 on the season, and looking way more like a Puckett (capable and dangerous, but not dominant) than an Interdimensional Lightning Falcons.

Division 5

The Headline:  No one can beat the PowerPuff Girls… although Two Tuddies will try

Underrated:  We’ll cheat and give you two answers: Pit Harade is ONE of the most underrated teams in the division.  They have the 7^th best offense, 7^th best defense and 7^th best point differential (hey, we said they’re “underrated”, not “GREAT”)… but someone they had the 9^th best record in the division?  Sounds flukey to us.  Look, they’re not going to beat PowerPuff Girls right AFTER beating Stir the Sauce, that’s just too much to ask.  But they’re better than a last place finish makes them look.  And the other underrated team of course is PowerPuff Girls.  Yes, you already know they’re undefeated and you know that they’re good, but did you know they’ve won games by an average of +31.0 PPG?? That is, in a word, INSANE.  This is a team that is playing in the wrong division – we imagine they would be undefeated in D4 this season too.

Overrated:  Mo’ Chicken finished their first ever TSL season at 2-6 and in 7^th place out of 9, which is really pretty good for a brand-new team.  The only problem: they were actually dead last in offense… and defense… and point differential.  And we think their captain is hurt too.  A first-round playoff game against Two Tuddies (against whom they lost 53-8 earlier this season) is essentially unwinnable.  But hey, for a first year team, they’re going to get some good experience and hopefully come back stronger in the Fall.

Division 6

The Headline:  Balls Deep, TMA and Blue Ballers are the clear leaders... but upsets might be brewing

Underrated:  Intentional Clowning were a trendy preseason pick to win D6 this season, after Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins moved up to D5.  Instead… they finished in dead last place.  But were they really THAT bad?  They had the fifth best offense in the division, the 7^th best point differential, and, sure, the worst defense.  But this doesn’t look like a “last place” team statistically.  We don’t think they’ll beat TMA on Saturday… but we wouldn’t be shocked if the game came down to the wire.

Overrated:  Irish Giants somehow went 4-4 this season, despite being 8^th in their division in total point differential and dead last in offense.  Seriously, how DOES a team win as many games as they lost with a point differential that was a fraction away from being the worst in their division?  We know, we know… wins and losses should matter way more than stats.  But for the Giants, their first round opponent is Raw Milkers, who beat them 46-8 in the regular season.  Not IMPOSSIBLE they can have a different outcome on Saturday (to their credit, Irish Giants finished the season very strong, going 3-1 including a win over otherwise undefeated TMA) but it would take a lot.

***

Top Ten Best and Worst Lists for the 2025 Spring Season

The division analysis above is the real meat and potatoes of this article, but in case you're curious how you stack up against teams in OTHER divisions, here are the top ten (and bottom ten) teams in the entire TSL for offensive points per game, defensive points per game, and average point differential per game:

What did we learn from this??  The magic numbers for us are always 20 and 40.  Nearly every team in this League averages between 20-40 PPG both offensively and defensively.  If you're higher than 40 offensively or lower than 20 defensively, you're doing an amazing job.  If you're lower than 20 offensively or higher than 40 defensively... you're probably not winning too many games.  This season we had an incredible EIGHT teams crack the 40 point mark, up from just two in the Fall.  Congrats to PowerPuff Girls, our Spring 2025 scoring champs.

So if PowerPuff Girls were the BEST offense, who were the worst?  This season we had 10 teams (up from 6 in each of the last two seasons) fail to make it to 20 PPG on offense.  Those teams unsurprisingly went a combined 18-61 this season.  

Then if we look at defenses, there were four teams (PowerPuff Girls, Blitzkrieg, Balls Deep, Can’t Touch This) that held opponents to under 20 PPG this session.  There were three teams that allowed 40+ points per game (up from zero last session!) including 716, a Cobblestone team that never seemed to come together, and a legendary Show Me Your TDs squad who will go down in history for ALL the wrong reasons.

Show Me Your TDs finished the season with zero points scored, and 74.5 PPG scored AGAINST.  We hope that is a record that will never, ever be broken.

Besides the "40/20 Clubs", what else do we see from the best and worst units in the League?  PowerPuff Girls, Can’t Touch This, Legends, Bird Watching in our Birkenstocks and Interdimensional Lightning Falcons were the only five teams in the League to make all three "Ten Best" lists for offense, defense and point differentials.  There were three teams to make all three "Ten Worst" lists, including GirthQuakes, Cobblestone (who were second last in EVERY category) and Show Me Your TDs (who were… it goes without saying… the worst in EVERY category).

***

All-Time Championship Statistics

A few years ago we compiled a list of every TSL champion in League history and devised a ranking system to see who the "best teams of all time" were.  This was exhausting to research and put together, but it's now very simple to update once a session, so that's what we've done here.  The timing feels right to update you all on this now JUST before playoffs so we can remind you what you're chasing here... co-ed football immortality.  Here are the current immortals:

THAT part is objective - the champs are the champs, and we'd like to think history will remember their achievements for 1,000 years to come (history classes will likely debate what exactly the "Tommy Hughes Experience" was).  Look closely and you’ll see that there are exactly 100 past TSL champions as of right now!

This next part though is subjective:  we then attempted to compare the relative strength of each division's championships to come up with a ranking system (a D2 title is harder to win than a D4 title) and this is what we landed on:

• A D1 championship is our baseline since it's the best a team can do.  Let's make that worth 100 points.  
• A D2 title is worth, at BEST, 49% of that, since two D2 titles don't quite equal a D1 title (you can argue it should be LESS than 49%, but we've made the choice to weight lower divisions as heavily as reasonably possible here).  49 points for a D2 title.
• A D3 title should be worth 49% of THAT, so about 24 points for each D3 championship.
• Every subsequent division is worth 49% of the previous one, so D4 is worth 11 points, D5 is worth 5 points, and D6 is worth 2 points.
• Indoor championships aren't currently worth a point (though we may revise this in the future).  With apologies to DILFS, Jelly Beans, Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown, Losing Streak and Friendship Club, Winter sessions are often used to make new teams and play with new people.  No team should be penalized in the rankings for doing that instead of entering their usual squad.  We'll give them credit for "number of titles", which they've earned, but zero points awarded.  Indoor championships are abbreviated as "W:A" (Winter: A) and "W:B" on the chart below, to make it a little easier to read.

It's an arbitrary system of course, but it's the one we chose.  So here is the updated list of your "greatest champions of all time" going into the Fall 2024 playoffs (active teams are highlighted below; split into two segments side-by-side to make font size more easily readable):

We always debate making a change to the math above so that subsequent championships in the same division would be worth less the second time around.  After all, was it fair that Puckett kept improving their standings by winning D4 over and over?  Shouldn't they have moved up before this session?  But for now, we decided to leave it as is.

So where does that leave us today?  Legends are one win away from tying Public Enemy as the greatest team in TSL history.  Eyes Downtown could jump from 5th to 3rd with another win, and Sticky Bandits from 9th to 4th.  Freeballers, though considered a long shot, could also jump in to the Top Ten all-time with a D1 championship this season.

The Sticky Bandits are tied with Public Enemy and Puckett All-Stars for the most total TSL Championships of all-time with five.  If they win again this season, they'll stand alone as the only six-time champions in TSL history.

Bottom line, people remember champions, not the teams who come in second place, so immortality can only be found by winning it all.  Good luck!

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this season!  We can't possibly make any other charts for you at this point (this was exhausting) and we doubt anyone has read this start-to-finish anyway.  

We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts on any of the above, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  Good luck in the playoffs.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 1 POWER RANKINGS

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 21 August 2025 17:10

Published: Thursday, 21 August 2025 17:10

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 474

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

“There are 49 teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 49 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 25, so we do try to be inclusive.

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking, if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally, we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  We no longer have our own email address, so if you want to tell us about your QB, why not email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and introduce yourself?  And please, please be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Joey Batts just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best male receivers, best female receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.  

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty-ish teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official bold predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 

• Two Tuddies vs PowerPuff Girls run it back in the Finals... but this time with both teams in D4.  
• Speaking of Two Tuddies, they will win more games than Three Tuddies and Four Tuddies combined.
• Puck Bunnies will make it to the D6 Finals in their first season.
• Legends will lose a game this season to a team NOT named Eyes Downtown or Sticky Bandits.
• D-Generation XYZ will play in the D3 Finals game.  No predictions as to who wins it.
• Every team in D5, except for Bridget & Quit It, loses at least two games.

But what do we know?  We went 1 out of 6 on last season's bold predictions:

• Come From Behind makes it to the D4 Finals… but lose the game [Didn't happen]
• What a Dump defeats Eyes Downtown in the regular season… but Eyes Downtown wins the playoff matchup (IF they meet in the playoffs at all) [Also didn't happen - who knew Bobby could replace one of the best rosters in the League and IMMEDIATELY be a contender?]
• Every team in D5 loses at least two games.  Too tough a division to go undefeated (or even 7-1!) [PowerPuff Girls went undefeated, AND the Tuddies went 7-1!]
• TSL Legend Joey Batts wins ZERO championships this Spring, after winning every single game in the Fall [He won the D1 championship, though not D3]
• The Wanderers finally win their first TSL championship this Spring, winning by less than 6 points in the Finals game [They lost in the semifinals again!]
• Out of the three truly “all new teams” (Show Me Your TDs, Mo Chicken, Raw Milkers), Raw Milkers will finish with the best record this season [We DID get this one right... but it was basically a coin flip, since everyone knew Show Me Your TDs was going 0-8]

So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Fall 2025 Season.  

As always, we do NOT overreact to one week's worth of games in our first Power Rankings of the season.  You also might not see MANY new people yet because we need a larger sample size to see how some of these changes play out.  Sorry if you don't like it, but if people are good enough, their stock will rise quickly and we'll get them Ranked over the next few weeks.  

Here are your Top Ten starting QBs in the TSL:

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat Unit Ha Ha 52-14

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 49-14

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 52-8

Let's just do the "top tier QBs" together this week, okay?  All of them scored about 50 points, all of them won by a ton... and none of them had a "statement" win.  Legends beat a brand new team (kudos to Unit Ha Ha for starting right in D1), Eyes Downtown beat a team without their starting QB (who IS the QB for Freeballers going to be anyway?) and Sticky Bandits beat a team playing their first game in D1 (after winning D2 twice in a row, but still, new-ish D1 team).  So, no surprises here.  The top three remain the top three because they're in a tier of their own right now (at least, until Dougherty is ready to jump to D1).

#4 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 40-29

Honestly, we barely remembered how the last season ended for Can't Touch This.  We had to double check to be sure (they lost in the Finals to Mavericks) because it SEEMED like they just murdered everyone all of last Spring.  Well, they're back to their winning ways it seems, with an easy(ish) win over Grey Hair - Don't Care to start the Fall session... their LAST Fall session in D2, we assume.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Lost to What A Dump 28-27

If Legends and Eyes Downtown are in a tier of their own on top of D1, then Frodo Swaggins and What a Dump seem to be in their own tier in the middle of the pack (Sticky Bandits seem to bounce from tier one to tier two, season to season).  These are two great teams that don't get a ton of recognition (yet) because they're not playing in the championship games every season, but they're so clearly in the top five teams in the TSL.  Frodo lost on Saturday by a point.  We would love to see the rematch of these teams.

#6 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 28-27

See Frodo Swaggins commentary above.  Maybe it isn't fair to say What a Dump "isn't playing in the championship every season"... partly because this is only their second freakin' season in existence, and partly because all the players on this team HAVE played in a million championships before (between Eyes Downtown and Tight Ends in Motion and Margo's teams etc).  The biggest thing this team needed last season was more experience for Cody at QB, and now we're seeing what he can do with a full season under his belt.

#7 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Wanderers this week.  Remember when they beat everyone last season, then lost in the playoffs??

#8 Jordan Lawson – Mavericks / Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 52-8 (Mavericks), lost to Jabronies 38-23 (Scared Hitless)

This season Jordan has (checks notes...) LEFT Freeballers, promoted Mavericks to D1, joined Scared Hitless in D2, and... subbed for Freeballers again in D1.  Whatever happened to Losing Streak?  His teams lost twice on Saturday (thrice, if we're counting the subbing for Freeballers, which we aren't) but both should be fine this season.  Scared Hitless might be a LITTLE bit closer to a Championship game than Mavericks right now, but that says more about the state of D2 (which is very winnable, since Legends do not play in that division) than it does about the teams themselves.

#9 Andy Strug – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Jabronies 38-12

The Malones only lose to two teams historically: Can't Touch This... and the one that just moved up to D1.  So... we're all just expecting them to play in the D2 Finals game, right?  Is anyone betting against that?  If they were, Week One of the Fall season should make them bet again.  Jabronies are a GOOD team, and Malones won that convincingly.  

 #10 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Lost to The Malones 38-12, beat Scared Hitless 38-23

The Jabronies looked great against Scared Hitless.  They did not look as great against the Malones.  That's kind of the identity of this team right now isn't it?  Able to hang with any team OUTSIDE of the first tier in D2, but they struggle against Malones and Can't Touch This?  To be fair, most teams struggle against those two.  If Miano has aspirations of hoisting the D2 championship trophy, he'll need to figure that out soon.

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 7 POWER RANKINGS

• Print
• Email

Details

Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 18:46

Published: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 18:46

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 714

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

We have 25 QBs this week, we have some stats (of course), and we have the ALL-TSL DEFENSIVE RANKINGS below.  Enjoy!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat 716 58-35, beat PWI 37-26 (Stunts)

Legends finished the regular season (Crossover game aside) as the #1 seed and scored the most points per game of any team in D1 (by about a TD per game)… and Cunning Stunts are tied with Wanderers as the third highest scoring team in the whole TSL.  It’s closer than it looks between #1 and #2 in the Power Rankings (Legends still have better skill players than Eyes Downtown, which is a vote in Bobby’s favor) but Joey has to finish the season #1 with all he’s accomplished with BOTH teams.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Beat What a Dump 18-13

When was the last time Eyes Downtown were held to only 18 points?? It’s almost like the What A Dump defense knew all of Bobby’s tricks… and yet it still wasn’t enough to get them a W, as Eyes Downtown prevailed on the strength of great defense last week.  They still have a CHANCE to get the #1 seed in D1 if Legends loses to Can’t Touch This on Saturday (more on that in a second) but either way, a first round bye with an all-new roster is no small accomplishment.

#3 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat the Malones 28-26

Can’t Touch This survived the Malones to finish their regular season undefeated.  Are they unbeatable in the playoffs?  No, of course not.  The Malones clearly plays them very well (see last season’s playoff elimination) and Mavericks COULD have a good day and sneak one out (although they DON’T seem to play CTT very well).  But anyone who “predicts” a D2 winner other than Can’t Touch This this season must be a pretty desperate gambler.  Ryan jumps into the top three for the first time in his TSL career.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 37-30

Frodo Swaggins finished the regular season with more points scored than the Sticky Bandits, and a head to head win at the end as well.  Good enough for Garrett to jump over Mike in the Power Rankings.  The gap between #3, #4 and #5 is so close this season (Joey and Bobby have run away with #1 and #2) – is this the season we see Frodo advance to its first ever D1 Finals?  Stay tuned for our playoff preview next week…

#5 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Lost to Frodo Swaggins 37-30

The Sticky Bandits finish their D1 portion of the schedule 3-4 and fifth in scoring within their division.  This is the team that has been to the last two D1 Finals?  They’re either a step off this Spring, or they’re holding something back for playoffs.  At least they have the confidence to know that they’ve pulled this off before (with almost the exact same roster) so we doubt they’re too worried about it yet.

#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat Practice Squad 35-26

Up until Joey Batts did it TWICE last season, the TSL hadn’t had an undefeated team in literally years.  Now with a week of regular season left, the Wanderers are one of four remaining teams that still have a zero in the “losses” column of the standings.  716 has plummeted to 7^th in the division so our guess is Wanderers finish undefeated on Saturday, then easily crush whatever team gets through the play-in round the next week.  But there ARE teams that can beat them (Practice Squad only last by 9!) so the semis and finals should be an interesting test for the TSL’s most famous tie dye team.

#7 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to What A Dump 49-39 (Freeballers), Beat Jabronies 37-15, beat Scared Hitless 44-16 (Mavericks)

Freeballers will finish the regular season without a “real” win (upcoming Show Me Your TDs Crossover massacre aside) but their offense scored about as many points as the rest of the division (at least the Non-Legends, non-Eyes Downtown part of their division).  If they played any kind of defense at all, they might be a .500 team.  And Mavericks finished their D2 season undefeated… except for in games against Can’t Touch This, who absolutely outclassed them twice.  One of these two teams COULD be celebrating their champagne bath in a couple weeks… but it’s probably not Freeballers.

#8 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 18-13, beat Freeballers 49-39

This was the grudge match that What A Dump HAD to have been waiting for all season.  It was close, and they had a shot, and their defense is probably incredibly proud to have held Bobby to so few points… but a loss is a loss, and What A Dump finishes their D1 schedule winless against teams not named Freeballers.  Are we surprised?  A little.  There’s a ton of talent on this team, so we thought they’d be closer to .500.  But QBing isn’t easy (which is why so few people ever crack our Top Ten here!) and Cody will only improve in time.

#9 Andy Strug – The Malones

Last Week:  Lost to Can’t Touch This 28-26

The Malones are 0-2 in the last two weeks, but they’ve lost to the top two seeds in D2 by one point and two points… the latter of which is especially impressive, considering no one’s been within 27 points of CTT all season.  These guys aren’t the “Favorite” to win their division… but is there a team that the favorites are more scared to play against than the Malones right now?? If you’re looking for a team to play spoiler and ruin an undefeated season, Malones are the ones to bet on.

#10 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Lost to Cunning Stunts 37-26, beat Becca Gets Reccked 48-37 (Passing While Intoxicated)

Buddy is QBing for the 7^th and 8^th highest scoring teams in the TSL right now, so he must be pretty good at this.  We’ve been saying all season that Wanderers and PWI are destined to meet in the D3 championship game, but PWI are now in fourth place.  Are they really a worse team that Cunning Stunts and Practice Squad?  Maybe.  Even if PWI chokes in the semifinals, or loses to Wanderers in the Finals (which won’t be considered “choking” since they’re so good), Buddy seems likely to celebrate at least a D4 championship win.

#11 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week:  Lost to Wanderers 35-26 (Practice Squad), lost to Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 62-24 (Tater Tots)

The schedule makers didn’t do B any favors this week, giving him a Lenny & Rameer Day present of the top two seeds in BOTH of his divisions.  The Practice Squad game must have been encouraging.  Losing by only 9 shows they can hang with the best of them.  The Tots game must have been depressing.  Tough to feel like a contender when you’re down by 38 against a backup QB.

#12 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Lost to Mavericks 37-15

Throw out their two wins against Scared Hitless this season, and the Jabronies have scored 7, 26, 22 and 15 points on offense in their other four games.  There’s real talent on this team, but it’s tough to imagine them ripping off three playoff W’s in a row against the top teams, when two of them are AVERAGING over 40+ PPG. 

#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to Mavericks 44-16

Remember when Scared Hitless beat the Malones 43-34?? We thought that might end up being a turning point in their season, but now it looks like just a fluke.  Other than their 90-0 destruction of Show Me Your TDs, a forfeit loss to Can’t Touch This, and the aforementioned Malones upset, and they’ve lost their OTHER four games by 32, 30, 7 and 28 points.  Which version of this team do we expect to show up for the playoffs?

#14 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week:  Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 31-24

The next several QBs are all in the “trying to win this week to avoid the D3 play-in games” category.  Bullet Club are two points behind Buffalo Vice with 716 ahead of them as well, but Bullet Club have the advantage of playing GirthQuakes this week while the teams they need to pass in the standings face Wanderers and PWI.  Don’t count out Dylan’s chances this week. 

#15 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice

Last Week:  Beat GirthQuakes 27-6

Buffalo Vice and Becca Gets Reccked are tied in record, and EXACTLY tied in point differential in the standings, which is pretty cool.  Of course every team in D3 plays all but one other team over the course of the season, and naturally Vice and Becca didn’t/don’t play each other, so we have no way of knowing which team is actually “better”.  We’re giving Andy the benefit of the doubt here because he has Buchlis beat in one category: attendance.

#16 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No Buchlis at the fields this week, and Becca Gets Reccked went 0-1-1 in his absence. 

#17 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Was Derek here this week?  Does he still play for 716?  We haven’t seen this guy in ages.

#18 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls

Last Week:  Beat Two Tuddies 44-10

Remember when we were deciding which of the three undefeated teams would win D5?  PowerPuff has beaten Tuddies and the McMuffins by a combined 105-24 in the past two weeks.  This team.  This team is the one that will win D5.  Gun to your head, if you had to pick a winner between PowerPuff Girls and the top teams in D4 (ILF, Mike’s Detailing, Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks)… you’d pick PowerPuff Girls to win, right?

#19 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z

Last Week:  Lost to Bullet Club 31-24

D-Generation X Y and Z won their first game of the season by a single point.  Since then they’re 0-5-1 and not looking like the contenders we thought they would be.  Do you remember what their record was last season, with more or less the same roster?  They were 7-2, and finished the regular season in second place.  Seems like everything that went right last season, is going wrong this season.

#20 Mark Dalfonso – Mike’s Detailing

Last Week:  Beat Vaspian 37-16

Mike’s Detailing and Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks have established themselves as the clear #2 and #3 teams in D4 (in some order).  They have the same record, and the exact same point differential per game, once we throw out a Cobblestone forfeit.  We’re giving Mark a SLIGHT edge in the Power Rankings, because our guess is you couldn’t name more than one receiver on his roster.

#21 David Eickhoff – Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks

Last Week:  Beat Vaspian 24-22

See: Mark Dalfonso, above.  What are the odds these two teams meet in the Semifinals?  At least 80%, right?

#22 Eric Mueller - Puckett

Last Week:  Beat Come From Behind 32-30

There may be a clear top three in Division 4 this season, but it’s also pretty clear who the next team up is.  Puckett finished their regular season on Saturday with a winning record, and they COULD still finish with the same record as the two teams above them (although tie breakers won’t be kind to Puckett).  If anyone knows about coasting in the regular season just to up their game in the playoffs, it’s THREE TIME D4 CHAMPIONS Puckett!

#23 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week:  Lost to Buffalo Vice 27-6

GirthQuakes beat CUNNING FREAKIN’ STUNTS by two points earlier this season, and it felt like the coming out party of a great new team.  It turns out that has been their ONLY win this season, as they’ve since slid to a 1-6 record with the worst offensive production in the division at 21.0 PPG.  Do we see this team winning their play-in game in a couple weeks?  It’s… not impossible.  Do we see them winning a game one hour later against the Wanderers, who beat them 50-8 earlier this season?  Now that IS impossible!

#24 Paul LoVullo – Come From Behind

Last Week:  Lost to Puckett 32-30

Going up a division can be a real bitch.  Suddenly instead of the best team in your division, you’re usually one of the worst, and that’s a difficult mental adjustment for most teams.  Come From Behind have actually done really well with it this session though.  If they’d scored 3 more points on Saturday they would be looking at a winning record in their first season in D4, and they still have a great shot at .500 this weekend with a win against 1-6 Vaspian.  Next season (when ILF is gone) we expect CFB to be among the leaders again.

#25 Mike Wolcott – Two Tuddies

Last Week:  Lost to PowerPuff Girls 44-10

Everyone loses to PowerPuff Girls.  There’s really no shame in that.  We doubt Tuddies wanted to get crushed by 34 points though.  They’re great athletes, of course, but you’re telling us that shirtless Chris couldn’t catch a couple jump ball TDs over a girl half his height?  Tuddies will be fine, and we still think we’ll see them in the D5 Finals game… but the final result will probably be similar to what we saw on Saturday.

Fancy Statistics Section

QB Rankings are too often about scoring points.  What about defense??? Doesn’t defense win championships?  (They SAY that, but in our experience in this League it’s usually great offenses that are in the Championship games)

Maybe they’ll win a championship.  Maybe they won’t.  But here are the top defenses in the league, by division:

Teams allowing under 20 PPG: Can't Touch This, PowerPuff Girls, Balls Deep, Blitzkrieg, TMA

Teams allowing over 40 PPG: Show Me Your TDs, Cobblestone

Teams allowing over 50 PPG: Show Me Your TDs

Teams allowing over 60 PPG: Show Me Your TDs

Teams allowing over 70 PPG: Show Me Your TDs

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?