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WEEK 6 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 01 June 2023 16:40; Published: Thursday, 01 June 2023 16:40; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 2743

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings -- Come for the QB write-ups, stay for the weird and confusing graphs!

#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Tight Ends in Motion 38-12, beat Frodo Swaggins 40-25

After two dominant wins by Thomas this week, who else did you think was going to be in the #1 spot? The Sticky Bandits are the only undefeated team left in the TSL across ANY division, and Legends are the only team that's held them to under 30 points all season. Considering no team has dropped 30 against the Bandits yet (strangely Grey Hair and Frodo, who are a combined 3-10, have come the closest by scoring 27 and 25 respectively) that's a pretty good recipe for a winning record.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 36-30 (Legends), beat Travis Henry's Kids 52-40

Joey Batts went 0-2 in the month of April, and 8-1 in the month of May. He claps cheeks best when it's warm out, apparently. Legends are locked into one of the top seeds in D1, and the Stunts have their first winning record of the season after beating Travis Henry's Kids in a revenge game after THK eliminated them from the playoffs last Fall.

#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Jordan this week.

#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to Legends 36-30, beat Scared Hitless 29-26

Eyes Downtown are 3-3 and as the calendar turns to June, they still have not had a winning record at any point this season. On Saturday they almost pulled off the upset over Legends in a rematch of last Fall's Finals, and then almost lost to 1-5 Scared Hitless, so we're STILL not sure what to make of their squad this season.

#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 41-24, lost to Sticky Bandits 40-25 (Frodo Swaggins), beat Travis Henry's Kids 60-32 (BAADies)

BAADies looked like the disappointment of the year after an 0-3 start despite all the hype that it was essentially the return of "The Angels". That probably wasn't fair -- it was truly a new team with Garrett under center, and it was always going to take time to gel. Three consecutive wins later, BAADies are back to .500 and suddenly look like real contenders in D4, which is a huge credit to Garrett and his ladies for pushing through the growing pains. Oh and Frodo won another D1 game (by a lot) which pushes the League Douche up in the Power Rankings this week.

#6 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat No Punt Intended 41-17

Okay, so maybe Helm did MOST of the work with his multiple pick-sixes on Saturday, but Burr was pretty good too as the Untouchaballs avenged their only loss of the season and took firm control over the #1 seed in D2. Seeding doesn't really matter that much most of the time when everyone makes the playoffs, but in D2 three teams get a bye in the first round, and by beating No Punt Intended the Untouchaballs have clinched a top three finish and a week off on June 17th.

#7 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 41-17

What a meltdown for Travis against Untouchaballs! Is it time to throw Kyle back in yet? Fortunately No Punt Intended is still 5-2 and have already clinched a first round bye for playoffs. Odds are they've lost the #1 seed based on this past week, which would potentially set up NPI vs Mavericks in the Semis barring some weird outcomes the next couple of weeks.

#8 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Dave this week.

#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 29-26, lost to Frodo Swaggins 41-24

Scared Hitless certainly looks to have recovered from their early season ineptitude as they're now actually scoring points and playing competitive games. Of course it didn't matter in the standings, as they dropped both games of an Eyes Downtown / Frodo Swaggins doubleheader on Saturday to fall to 1-5 on the season. Their last two opponents are Tight Ends in Motion (who S.H. upset in the first round of last years playoffs) and Grey Hair Don't Care (the only D1 team with a worse record) so a 3-5 finish isn't out of the question.

#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Frank (at least with Wanderers) this week.

#11 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Beat Degeneration SeXy 50-40

Let's Get Reccked has been anything but boring this session. After a week one annihilation of (now) division-leading Jabronies, they've played five straight one score games going 2-2-1 over that stretch. Some weeks are defensive battles (19-12 vs Can't Touch This) and other weeks are shootouts (50-40 vs D-Sex on Saturday!) but either way, these are the games you want to watch. With winnable games in his last two weeks, Buchlis can MAYBE still finish as high as first place in his division? Right?

#12 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 38-12

In Tight Ends in Motion's six games this session, they've scored exactly one touchdown twice and exactly two touchdowns twice... and they are unsurprisingly 0-4 in those games. The defense is still the gold standard we expect from this team, but they've GOT to get more help on the offensive side if they're going to compete in the playoffs against better teams. Andy is still probably the most talented athlete in the League... but experience matters, and we'd bet Bro would have scored more than 12 points on Saturday.

#13 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for Jeff this week. When was the last time he played a game?? Feels like it's all bye weeks and Langley for these guys lately.

#14 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 53-46

Arya Stark once said "anyone can be killed" and Buffalo Vice proved it on Saturday by handing the invincible Puckett All-Stars their first loss of the season. Don't look at Vince -- the offense still put up 46 points, which REALLY ought to be enough to win a game. Barring a total late season collapse Puckett will still be our D4 favorite but they won't be completing a perfect season anymore.

#15 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs via forfeit

No game for Joe this week as Itches forfeited.

#16 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Did Not Play

No games for B (at least with Practice Squad) this week.

#17 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Lost to Vaspian 30-28

Can't Touch This had won four in a row and were one of the hottest teams in the TSL. How many people predicted they would lose to winless Vaspian on Saturday?? D3 is REALLY competitive right now (the "best" team is winning by 4.8 PPG, and the "worst" team is losing by 8.5 PPG) and anything's possible week to week. Including Ryan losing a game, apparently.

#18 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Beat Puckett All-Stars 53-46

Did one game flip the entire narrative on a division? "D4 is Puckett's to lose" suddenly became "five teams are looking PRETTY GOOD right now in D4" after Andy and Buffalo Vice scored a huge upset over Puckett on Saturday. Any time teams combine for 99 points in a division-altering game, it's going to be must-see football. Can't wait for the rematch in the D4 Finals... if the gender teams don't play spoiler first.

#19 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Lost to BAADies 60-32, lost to Cunning Stunts 52-40

Scoring 72 points in a doubleheader is usually good enough to win both, if not at least a split of the game. Of course when your defense gives up 112 in those games, it changes the math a little bit. THK got smoked by both gender teams on Saturday, and if you throw out their win against the 0-6 Creekers, they haven't had a quality win since April. Langley can't be too happy with his defense right now.

#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated

Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 29-28

PWI won a nail biter on Saturday as they barely survived Darryl Carr Superstar and his two point conversion attempt. It had to be a tough game for PWI playing just a week after one of their players collapsed on the field, but Buddy still led the squad to a big win and a 3-1-1 record. Teams rarely handle the jump up a division as well as Passing While Intoxicated has this session, and if they get a few lucky bounces they could potentially be the next Practice Squad (back to back division champs).

Fancy Statistics Section

Last week we shared the stats about the ten very best and very worst defenses in the League, but this week we'd like to look at that same concept a little bit differently. Some teams are carried to success by their great offenses (gender teams, typically) and others are carried by great defenses (Vaspian, historically), so we wanted to explore a more in-depth view to see how balanced each team is on both sides of the ball. To start with, we ranked all teams in the League on both offensive points per game and defensive points per game allowed from best to worst (the best is #1, the worst is #46). Then we subtracted each team's offensive rank from its defensive rank to see how big the difference was, and to what side of the ball (if any) each team skewed. Sound complicated? It's probably easier just to show you:

What does this graph even mean, why did we pick weird colors, and why aren't the bars even labeled?? All good questions (we admit, this is a weird one) but hear us out:

If you're on the top of the above chart in that orange color, it means your offensive rank is better than your defensive rank. For example, BAADies are the 3rd best offense in the League and the 37th best defense, so their combined score is +34. Not So Sticky on the other end of the spectrum is the 46th best offense in the League and the 10th best defense, so their combined score is -36 (shown in purple). These two teams represent the biggest extremes in the League right now, and everyone else falls somewhere in between. Anyone in orange leans towards offensive strengths, anyone in purple leans towards defensive strengths (those dashed boxes on the chart are just there to call out the biggest discrepancies where one rank exceeds the other by more than 10 in either direction).

So why did we pick orange and purple as the colors? We usually use green and red for our graphics, but green typically implies "good" and red typically implies "bad", and this graph isn't about "good or bad" -- it's just about which side of the ball each team seems to be strongest. The best example of the point we're trying to make is right in the middle of the graph, where you'll see Creekers and Legends tied at +1 (almost perfectly balanced, SLIGHT lean towards offense as their stronger side). On the surface they could not be more different teams: Creekers are 0-6 (offensive rank: 44th, defensive rank: 45th) and Legends are 6-1 (offensive rank: 4th, defensive rank: 5th). But both teams are about equally balanced in terms of their offense vs their defense... it just so happens that Legends are great on both sides, and Creekers are NOT great on both sides. That's why we didn't label each bar on the graph - the +1 itself is kind of meaningless when you're describing the Creekers or Legends -- the important thing is where your team falls on the graph relative to the OTHER teams shown.

What did we learn from the chart?

For starters, D4 is the most "offense leaning" division in the League, with the top five "offensive" teams all playing in that division. In fact other than Cobblestone (-2 leaning "defense") every other team in the division skews towards offense. Of course the two gender teams are leading the way which should be no surprise, as BAADies are closely followed by Cunning Stunts as the most offensively skewed teams in the League.

We also learned that there's not much correlation between where you are on the above graph and how well you're doing in the standings. For example the four most hypothetically "balanced" teams in the League are Creekers (0-6), Legends (6-1), Practice Squad (0-5) and No Punt Intended (5-2). Two of those are great teams, and two of them are not. Practice Squad is the only team in the League with perfect balance... unfortunately they're ranked 40th on both sides of the ball, which means they have a lot of adjustments to make everywhere.

Puckett All-Stars are one of the most offensive-leaning teams in the League, and Untouchaballs are one of the most defense-leaning -- both are currently in first place. So again, the graph isn't meant to tell you who's doing well and who's not... but it IS meant to tell you WHY you're succeeding or WHY you're failing. If you're strongly in the orange and you want to improve, you should probably look to your defense to shape up. If you're strongly in the purple and you want to improve, you should probably look to your offense to shape up.

***

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 5 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 25 May 2023 16:37; Published: Thursday, 25 May 2023 16:37; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 2640

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

Some weeks we get beautiful weather and huge crowds at the bar. Other weeks we get miserable downpours and medical emergencies. Week Five was, unfortunately, the latter. Although our quarterbacks didn't get much of a chance to shine this past weekend in the heavy rain, our nurses and medical professionals did. Thank you to everyone who pitched in and helped out when one of our players went down last week - this League literally would not be possible without you.

And now, some Power Rankings:

#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for the Sticky Bandits this week, so no movement in the Power Rankings for the last undefeated QB in D1.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Losing Streak 23-19 (Legends)

How have the Stunts only played three games on May 25th? And they've won only one of them?? Seems impossible. Big win for Legends this week as they took down Losing Streak in a close one. The defending champs still have the highest points per game in D1.

#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to Legends 23-19, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 37-16 (Losing Streak), beat No Punt Intended 30-20 (Mavericks)

Jordan is undefeated in D1 against all the QBs beneath him in the Power Rankings and 0-2 against the two above him, so we'd say his Ranking is pretty easy to calculate right now. The big news this week was Mavericks taking down previously undefeated No Punt Intended which is a huge win in D2.

#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Beat Tight Ends in Motion 19-8

We're not sure what's more surprising: Bobby scoring only 19 points in a game, or that somehow being enough for a two score win. Yes, the weather sucked on Saturday so we can't read much into any of these scores, but this was a big matchup for the D1 standings as it keeps Eyes Downtown out of the dreaded "1-Win Club" with Grey Hair, Scared Hitless and Frodo.

#5 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 30-20

Travis kind of, sort of QBed a bit this week while dad duty took priority, so we won't hold a loss against him. Really, we should hold it against Kyle!

#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies

Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 41-13 (BAADies)

BAADies destroyed the makeshift team that Cobblestone threw together last minute (Darryl: you need more reliable teammates) and BAADies now sit a game away from .500. No, Garrett's not doing a ton of winning this session (Frodo and BAADies are a combined 3-6) but between a new-ish D1 team and a new gender team, no one can accuse him from ducking a challenge.

#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 35-0

Practice Squad is NOT a bad team, and Untouchaballs made them look like absolute ASS this week. Yikes. Great performance by Untouchaballs to keep them neck and neck with NPI who, wouldn't ya know it, they're going to play this week! A win by Burr and team this Saturday will push them into first place in the D2 standings.

#8 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Lost to Losing Streak 37-16, lost to Scared Hitless 26-23

Eickhoff had this team looking strong out of the gate this season with a huge win over Frodo and a close loss to Eyes Downtown. Since then it's spiraled out of control a bit for Grey Hair - Don't Care as they dropped two more games on Saturday to fall to 1-6 with only one game remaining on their schedule (which thankfully is a rematch against Scared Hitless).

#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 26-23

We were SURE that Scared Hitless would win a game eventually (they were way too good not to) and they caught Grey Hair at exactly the right time. Their remaining opponents this season are a combined 6-14 so not IMPOSSIBLE that Dylan gets some momentum here and racks up a few more wins to finish strong.

#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 38-27

The Wanderers finally played a game that wasn't settled by just a few points, and unfortunately they were on the wrong end of their first two-score outcome. Every team's goal in D3 should be to finish in the top two if they want to lock up a playoff matchup against one of the two teams that currently have a losing record, and Wanderers can help themselves at that tremendously by beating Can't Touch This in a couple weeks after their Memorial Day bye.

#11 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 19-8

Tight Ends scored only 8 points in the rain for the second time this session. They should get Andy some better cleats or something, these rain games aren't working in his favor. Tight Ends failed to lock up their first winning record of the season, but it's only a matter of time with an athlete as deadly as Andy under center.

#12 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club

Last Week: Did Not Play

Jeff sure misses a lot of games. He's better than Langley though, so he keeps his QB1 status on Bullet Club.

#13 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Tied Vaspian 27-27

Let's Get Reccked went from a middle of the road 2-2 record to a somehow even MORE middle of the road 2-2-1 on Saturday. Their remaining opponents this season are a combined 4-10, but there aren't really any BAD teams in D3 this session so we're not sure we'd call that as easy a schedule as it looks.

#14 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Game Cancelled

The Puckett All-Stars vs PWI game was understandably cancelled this week after the medical incident occurred during their game.

#15 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Wanderers 38-27

The Jabronies might be the hottest non-Puckett team in the TSL right now after rattling off their fourth win in a row. Take away their first game of the season (a dud against Let's Get Reccked) and they're +40 in their last four games, alone in first place in D3. We doubt Joe is missing the Interdimensional Lightning Falcons right now.

#16 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 35-0

This is a new low for Practice Squad. After four weeks of "they really ARE competitive, they just need one more big play to pull off a win", they got absolutely SMOKED by a Untouchaballs. Weather didn't help... but it didn't HURT for Burr either it seems, who was still able to score 35. Practice Squad has some soul searching to do after this one.

#17 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs 49-19

"The Jabronies might be the hottest non-Puckett team in the TSL right now after rattling off their fourth win in a row"? What about Can't Touch This?! ALSO 4-0 in their last four games, and they're +52 over that stretch! Their last loss, of course... was to the Jabronies. Whatever adjustments these guys made have worked, and Can't Touch This is poised for another D3 Finals this session (they made it last Fall, remember!)

#18 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Did Not Play

No THK game for Langley this week, although he did drop a game for Bullet Club in relief of Jeff Easton.

#19 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated

Last Week: Game Cancelled

The Puckett All-Stars vs PWI game was understandably cancelled this week after the medical incident occurred during their game.

#20 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week: Beat Creekers 44-14

The Creekers are the ultimate "get right game" opponent in D4 right now as Buffalo Vice was able to stop a two game losing streak with a resounding ass-kicking over the division's favorite punching bag. Buffalo Vice are one of four teams with a winning record in D4 right now and they boast the second best point differential as well (slightly behind Puckett All-Stars...)

Fancy Statistics Section

Amazing how fast we get from "it's too early to talk stats, we haven't played enough games yet" to "this season is almost over"! Last week we looked at every team's point differential per game - this week we're going to focus on just the ten best (and ten worst) teams across our three major categories:

What did we learn??

Well, we said it last week but we're forced to say it again, Puckett is playing some really great football this season. Besides being by FAR the best point differential in the League (the difference between #1 Puckett and #2 Legends is about the same as the difference between #2 Legends and #15 Bullet Club), Puckett is also the only team scoring more than 40 PPG... and they're actually scoring more than 50 PPG. Crazy.

Puckett is one of only four teams that appear in both the Top Ten Offenses chart and the Top Ten Defenses chart, along with Legends (#4 in the League on both sides of the ball), Southside (best defense in the League) and Sticky Bandits. And speaking of Sticky Nation, it's no coincidence that Not So Sticky (aka Sticky old-timers) and ILF (Sticky disciple Andrew Kicak's team) both appear in the Top Ten defenses list... but why is that Not So Sticky offense nearly the worst in the League? Don't they have access to the same playbook?

On the other side of the coin, there are also four teams that appear in the both the Worst Offenses and Worst Defenses charts: Scared Hitless (owners of the worst point differential per game in the League), Creekers (second worst Offense and Defense in the League), Frodo Swaggins (take note Garrett, your co-ed team is allowing slightly more points per game than BAADies!) and Goatsack (whose numbers would look a lot more respectable if you threw out their 32-0 Week One loss to Come From Behind).

When we copy/pasted this chart from last Fall season's file to start updating it, it was amazing how much life has changed in just a few months. The five best point differentials in the League just last season belonged to:

Tight Ends in Motion (currently 29th, with a losing record)
Frodo Swaggins (currently 43rd, with a losing record... that jump to D1 is a big one!)
Puckett All-Stars (currently 1st... okay not EVERYTHING is very different)
Cunning Stunts (currently 42nd with a losing record)
Not So Sticky (currently 26th with a losing record)

Take out Puckett and our four best teams from last season are a combined 6-11!

***

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 11 May 2023 17:31; Published: Thursday, 11 May 2023 17:31; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 2098

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

Football was played. Some people won, some people lost. How's that for an exciting intro? Let's get right to it:

#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 30-27

A win's a win, and Thomas keeps it rolling for Sticky Nation. How many undefeated teams are there left in D1 this session? Answer: one more than there will be next week, after Sticky Bandits and Losing Streak battle it out for the last undefeated spot in our highest division.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 40-12 (Legends), beat Cobblestone 35-26 (Cunning Stunts)

Legends (with Joey under center) and the Stunts both got their first wins of the season last week and our multi-time TSL Villain of the Year looked sharp. Is it possible that two Joey Batts teams are flying under the radar right now? Seems crazy considering Legends are the two time defending D1 champs, and the Stunts were the #1 seed just last Fall.

#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks

Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 39-38 (Losing Streak), beat Practice Squad 41-37, lost to Freeballers 50-41 (Mavericks)

Eyes Downtown was the signature win that Jordan has been looking for in the TSL since first joining, and it was a classic. The last time these two teams met was September 25th 2021 and Losing Streak lost 63-6, so this one must have felt good for Jordan and team. Yeah, Mavericks lost a game, but they scored 41 so give Jordan a break.

#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to Losing Streak 39-38

The last time we wrote about how Bobby had lost two games in a row, we're PRETTY sure he rattled off a seven game winning streak afterwards, so we're not ready to dismiss Eyes Downtown as contenders just yet. Wins and losses admittedly play a huge part in our rankings, as they should, but even with a 1-2 record, is there anyone in this League who doesn't think Bobby F'n McConnell is one of the top QBs in the League?

#5 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 30-27

A three point loss to undefeated Sticky Bandits is nothing to feel too bad about. In fact Grey Hair - Don't Care has a one score loss to the Bandits, a one score loss to Eyes Downtown, and a 30 point win over Frodo Swaggins. These guys aren't that far away from 3-0, and Eickhoff is playing great.

#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies

Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 27-22 (Frodo Swaggins), beat Creekers 28-21 (BAADies)

Everyone's talking about Garrett's "sixth down" scramble/sack where he thought it was fifth down (which is, of course, really funny) but they should be talking about how Frodo became a decent D1 team much faster than we thought they would. The last two weeks include a win and a one-score loss against teams that have been to the top of the D1 mountain before. Now if only BAADies would play up to their potential, Garrett would REALLY be cooking...

#7 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for NPI this week. Still undefeated.

#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Untouchaballs this week.

#9 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club

Last Week: Lost to Itches and Ohs 22-21

Looks like Bullet Club won't be going undefeated this session. Sure, they were missing some players, but 21 points on a beautiful day isn't enough and Jeff knows it. The good news: D3 is an awesome, wide open division where anyone can upset anyone on any given week. The bad news (for Bullet Club): they seem to be very dependent on Pete's attendance, which will give Langley way too much power at his next contract negotiation.

#10 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers

Last Week: Beat Mavericks 50-41

We knew Dylan had it in him. After a couple weeks of interceptions and bickering, Freeballers finally turned it around this week to drop 50 on the Mavericks in a big statement win. And every one is going to count in the D2 race, where three out of five teams will get a first round playoff bye.

#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 20-18

Wanderers are kind of, sort of tied for first place in D3 after their win against Vaspian. Yes, they're losing a tiebreaker against Bullet Club, and Itches and Ohs is still undefeated (is 3-1 better than 2-0? our website seems to think so) but they still control their own destiny at this point. The Wanderers may have been around forever, but watching Frank scramble it doesn't seem like he's aged a day.

#12 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 27-22

Andy Smigiera makes his debut in this season's Power Rankings with a win over Frodo Swaggins. Tight Ends in Motion are always a fairly loaded team, but the adjustment from Bro to Andy (as good an athlete as you'll find in the TSL) was always going to take some time. Tight Ends have only played two games so far this session, and they scored only 8 in their first, so a win over Frodo can definitely be counted as a step in the right direction.

#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Legends 40-12

To put their current offensive issues in perspective, Scared Hitless has less than half as many points through three weeks (24) as Puckett All-Stars scored in their first game (62). It has not been pretty for Hitless, even this week with perennial all-star Jaimie Warren available. This team needs to figure it out and quickly if they're going to return to Fall form.

#14 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters

Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 22-21 (Itches and Ohs), lost to Sausage McMuffins 37-31 (GrASS Eaters)

Raise your hand if you thought Itches and Ohs would be the last undefeated team in D3 this session. No one? Yeah, we were surprised too. These guys keep winning games they're not supposed to, and Moser is the conductor driving this undefeated train. Can they beat Bullet Club with Pete? Can they beat Wanderers? Can they beat Jabronies? We want to keep saying no... but at some point we have to acknowledge they're better than we thought. And GrASS Eaters also played a great game (sorry, we'll talk about them more next week).

#15 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 41-37

Three games, three one score losses, three times the frustration for B. At least his team MUST know that they're not truly overmatched in D2 this session since they're in it every single week. They've started slowly and finished strong before (maybe you remember), they just have to keep believing in themselves and not getting down after the losses.

#16 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 19-12

A week after an epic back and forth shootout with the Wanderers, Let's Get Reccked somehow scored only 12 against a Can't Touch This defense that had been giving up 42.5 PPG going into Saturday. Football is funny like that. We blame Ricky Recckio for eating four breakfast sandwiches before they game because... someone dared him to? Opponents, take note: you can neutralize one of Buchlis's best receivers by challenging him to over-eat before games.

#17 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Degeneration SeXy 41-28

We won't sugarcoat it: the Jabronies really looked like shit after a 28-7 loss to start the season. Since then Miano has led his team to 41 and 43 point outings (both wins) and reminded the TSL how good he can be when dialed in. Jabronies could be the D3 favorites at the end of the day, if Eric Kleckler doesn't get suspended for fighting a plant or something.

#18 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 48-18

Which team is currently the largest favorite to win their division? Okay, you can make an argument for Southside in D6, but Puckett is just crushing people right now. Their two games so far this season have been a 30 point win and a 38 point win. Not even close. Vince QBed this week (and is apparently the man going forward) and we should remind you that Travis Henry's Kids are NOT a terrible opponent, so that's a statement win if ever there was one.

#19 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Lost to Puckett All-Stars 48-18

Langley had been doing so well lately with solid wins over Cobblestone and PWI. That ass kicking by Puckett has to sting. Apparently John was hurt during the game and didn't finish, which likely explains the 18 point offensive showing. Hopefully nothing serious, because THK will be in trouble without their QB1. Unless of course, Pete can also QB better than John...

#20 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 19-12

Can't Touch This started the season with two high scoring losses, and now they add a low scoring win to their resume. We're guessing that last one feels a lot better. You'll hear it on this website and podcasts a hundred times, so sorry if this is boring reading, but Ryan really DOES have the best arm in the League.

Fancy Statistics Section

Next week, the sample size should FINALLY be big enough that we can look at some stats and see how the League is shaping up. So stay tuned!

***

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 4 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 18 May 2023 15:34; Published: Thursday, 18 May 2023 15:34; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 2282

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

We talk a lot about "sample sizes" in this article for the first few weeks of the season. "Yeah, Sausage McMuffins are 2-0, but have they even played anyone good yet?" It's easy to overreact to mediocre teams starting off hot (remember when Buffalo Vice was 2-0, but they hadn't faced a team with male receivers yet?) or good teams starting out slow (remember when Jabronies looked like garbage the first week? or when Can't Touch This was 0-2?). At this point though we're halfway through the season and we should have SOME idea how good people are. There's still plenty of time for each team to re-write the story of their season if they're not happy where they are (or plenty of time to choke away a great start!) but we're starting to feel more confident in our Power Rankings for this season and we are FINALLY ready to show some of those graphs that all of you (okay, a few of you) love so much!

You'll see that we decided to take a trip down memory lane in our write-ups below. So without further ado, here are your Week Four Power Rankings:

#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Losing Streak 34-20

Remember when the Sticky Bandits were 2-7 just a few seasons ago? Mike's roster hasn't really changed much since then (it never seems to change much on the Sticky Bandits, who have been around forever) but Mike's productivity has. Sticky Nation beats Losing Streak to become the only undefeated team remaining in D1 (and that sentence that would have seemed insane to write in 2021 when those teams were a combined 4-14).

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 42-18, beat Tight Ends in Motion 43-14 (Legends), lost to Puckett All-Stars 46-17 (Cunning Stunts)

Remember when Joey's brother QBed for Gryffindor and Joey was just an awesome receiver? That has nothing to do with the QB Rankings, we just wanted to remind you that he can indeed do it all. Two more wins for Legends have them right in the hunt for the #1 seed should the Sticky Bandits stumble. Not sure why the Stunts aren't doing better.

#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 34-20 (Losing Streak), lost to Untouchaballs 22-18 (Mavericks)

Remember when Jordan had a gender team called Victorious Secret in D6? Those gals were pretty fun. Jordan stays at #3 in the Power Rankings despite his first loss of the season with Losing Streak. Don't like it? He still has a better record, more points scored per game, and a head-to-head win over the guy beneath him in the Rankings. Easy decision here.

#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Did Not Play

Remember five years ago in the Spring of 2018 when Eyes Downtown won their last D1 championship? Can it really have been five years since a TSL icon like Bobby McConnell celebrated a championship in our League? No game for Eyes Downtown this week.

#5 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 44-30

Remember when Travis was the QB for Breast Friends? That short lived (but awesomely named) gender team scored more than 40 points per game and then disappeared without a trace. No Punt Intended is not as attractive as Breast Friends was (no disrespect to JZ) but they're also pretty good at putting up points. NPI is the only undefeated team left in a very close division, having beaten each of their opponents in their first lap through the D2 schedule.

#6 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 54-25, lost to Legends 42-18

Remember when Grey Hair - Don't Care was End Game? Or HK7? Or Holy Kielbasa? Or any of the other names they used before they settled on Grey Hair - Don't Care? Grey Hair seems to have settled into a "middle of the pack" role this season in D1. Good enough that they can put up a fight, but not quite at the level of the top tier of teams in their division.

#7 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies

Last Week: Did Not Play

Remember when Scotty Drosendahl was the QB of Frodo Swaggins and Garrett was just a douche receiver/captain? We wouldn't have guessed at the time that he'd become a Top Ten QB in D1 some day. No games for Frodo Swaggins or BAADies this week.

#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat Mavericks 22-18

Remember when the Untouchaballs QB was some guy named Nolan Perry? Whatever happened to him? Well, he wasn't as good as Burr apparently. Untouchaballs took down the Mavericks this week to grab a firm hold on second place in D2. We'll pretend Burr's six-INT Breakfast Club performance didn't happen.

#9 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs 26-20

Remember when Frank Laudico outdueled Bobby McConnell for the GameOn D1 Championship a hundred years ago? This actually happened! Wanderers win yet another one-score game, proving that if you want to be entertained at the fields on Saturday, you should park your chair next to the field with the tie dyed team.

#10 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion

Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 54-25, lost to Legends 43-14

Remember when Andy's vertical jump at a pro day in 2018 beat every single player in that year's NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis? If WKBW.com can be believed, that's insane. If we were Power Ranking the best athletes on the field, it would be Andy by a mile. Coed QBing is a bit different though, and while he isn't #1 at that yet, it might only be a matter of time.

#11 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club

Last Week: Did Not Play

Remember when Bullet Club used to be QBed by Ricky Austin or Scotty Dro? Hey that's our second Scotty Dro reference on this Power Rankings, which is amazing considering he's not currently ranked! Jeff didn't play this week.

#12 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 24-22

Remember when Alex's dad used to be at the fields every week? That guy was a legend. He's missing out on some quality play by his son this season, as Let's Get Reccked have started their season with games against the top four teams in their division, and have two wins, a one point loss to Wanderers, and one subpar outing against Can't Touch This to show for it. LGR's remaining opponents this season have a combined record of 2-13.

#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Did Not Play

Remember when Dylan nearly led his team to the D1 championship game last Fall? Feels like a lifetime ago as Scared Hitless has struggled early this season. Also, "Scared Hitless" sounds more like a softball team name than a football team name, doesn't it?

#14 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week: Beat Cunning Stunts 46-17

Remember when Vince was the QB of All We Do is Qwinn or Quinn or however you spelled it? They were awesome back then and Puckett is awesome now. Puckett's wins this season have been by 38, 30, 28 and 29 points. This is getting ridiculous. Which team in D4 has a chance of stopping these guys right now?

#15 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to No Punt Intended 44-30

Remember only four years ago when Practice Squad was a D6 team? And now they're one solid playoff run away from making the jump to D1. No, they didn't win every division in between (they fell one play short of beating Mountain Dew Me in the D5 finals in 2020, which would have given them unprecedented championships in D6, D5, D4 and D3) but they're still an amazing success story in this League. B was the difference maker as this team became more competitive. The Squad lost to NPI on Saturday, but they're taking notes and STILL improving after all this time.

#16 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 27-26

Remember when Joe Miano was the QB for Interdimensional Lightning Falcons and he abandoned them for the Jabronies? No, don't judge him - you would too if you had a chance to play with Bro Kleckler every week! The Jabronies offense slowed down a bit this week against Vaspian but the final outcome was the same, as Joe picked up his third win in a row.

#17 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week: Beat Creekers 42-24

Remember when Travis Henry's Kids lost to Woodpeckers in the D6 playoffs? John Langley does! Of course John has improved tremendously since then and THK is one of the top teams in D4 (a mile below Puckett, but to be fair so is every other team in D4). Three of THK's remaining games are against gender teams, which used to be scary but this season hasn't been nearly as intimidating for most teams. Expect these guys to lock in the #2 seed for playoffs soon.

#18 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week: Beat Degeneration SeXy 42-32, beat Vaspian 38-33

Remember when Can't Touch This was the higher seeded team in the D3 Finals just last Fall? Yes, Practice Squad was the better team that day, but CTT has maybe the highest ceiling of any team in their division when they're clicking. Do you know how many times a week we have people at the fields tell us to watch how great this guy's arm is? Believe us, we know.

#19 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 26-20 (Itches and Ohs), beat Pit Harade 49-30 (GrASS Eaters)

Remember when football was supposed to be for fun? Loss to Wanderers, ejection from GrASS Eaters game. We were told not to comment on this any more, so we won't. Moving on.

#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated

Last Week: Did Not Play

Remember when PWI was just a cute darkhorse prediction in a division most people were SURE would be won by TMA or Come From Behind last Fall? And now Buddy Lee has a D5 championship under his belt. If people are constantly telling us how strong Ryan Dougherty's arm is, you should hear how many times they tell us "I think that PWI QB is playing drunk out of his mind". Believe us, we KNOW. Pretty good though isn't he?

Fancy Statistics Section

ALRIGHT we're halfway through the season, we can finally compare some teams! This is one of our favorite graphs that we've done in the past, looking at each team's point differential per game by division. If you're in the Green (more points scored per game than scored against), you're doing fine. If you're in the Red (more points against per game than scored), you've got some stuff to work on. In fact only one Green team has a losing record (hey Mavericks, work on that defense!) and only one Red team has a winning record (hey Balls Deep, keep doing what you're doing?). Yes, the graph is going to be very small, it's tough to cram 46 teams into one little picture:

What did we learn?

The struggles of Scared Hitless have been well documented in our website articles, but visually it becomes a little more obvious when you're staring at that -33.7 red bar above. Last session the worst team in the League was The Replacements who finished at -37.3 PPG. Scared Hitless is ten times as good as The Replacements, to be clear. It hasn't helped that their three games so far this season have been against Legends, Sticky Bandits and Losing Streak, which is a brutal start to their schedule. That PROBABLY means that they'll do better when they face the lower half of D1 going forward this season... or maybe it means that Legends, Sticky Bandits and Losing Streak aren't as good as the graph implies, and they're only doing as well as they are BECAUSE they got to beat up on Scared Hitless?

On the flipside, Puckett All-Stars have been the most dominant team in the League. Nothing surprising about that if you read Vince's write-up above. What IS a bit surprising is that the next two best teams (Legends and Southside) aren't even undefeated in their divisions despite their statistical dominance. Great teams CAN still lose, so maybe Puckett's latest D4 championship (which they've already won twice... why not try D3, Puckett?) isn't as locked up as we all think.

If we look at the difference between the best team in each division and the worst, you'll see that D2 is the closest from top to bottom with only 15.5 point differential per game separating No Punt Intended from Practice Squad. D3 is also a very tight division, and D5 looks fairly competitive across the board too. D6 starts to widen the gap a bit between haves and have-nots, and then D4 (thanks a lot Puckett) and D1 (sorry Scared Hitless) have enormous disparity between their best and worst. See below for a visual aid (yes, we made another graph to summarize the first graph)

Again, let's talk about sample sizes: with only a handful of games played so far, it's still VERY easy for a team to change the math above with one good game. If Scared Hitless even TIES their next game, they'll drop their average point differential by over 8.4 (still worst in the League, but not by much). And we counted at least 19 teams above that could very reasonably flip from red to green or vice versa with one big win or loss this Saturday. So while the numbers above don't lie, they're also VERY much subject to change.

***

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

Details: Category: TSL QB Power Rankings; Created: Thursday, 04 May 2023 18:14; Published: Thursday, 04 May 2023 18:14; Written by Jeff Krol; Hits: 3619

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!

Week Two is officially in the books. Stars were born, legends were toppled (that wasn't meant as a dig at Joey, but if the shoe fits...) and great football games were played. Let's get right to it:

#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week: Beat Legends 29-22

To be the man, you've gotta beat the man, and Thomas has beaten the (formerly) #1 and #2 ranked QBs in two of his last three games. Easy choice for #1 this week as the Sticky Bandits keep their 2023 hot streak going. And this guy was a "Most Beloved Male" candidate at our Banquet last Fall too! Nice guys CAN finish first.

#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 29-22 (Legends), lost to Buffalo Vice 48-26 (Cunning Stunts)

Legends and Cunning Stunts started a combined 10-0 last season. If we throw out the Legends game QBed by Travis in Week One, they're off to a combined 0-2 start this season. Joey will be the first to tell you though, no one gives a shit where you start, they only talk about where you finish.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 37-29

No, Eyes Downtown was nowhere near full strength this week, but losing to Frodo Swaggins was still unexpected for a team with D1 championship aspirations. You can bet your ass Bobby will be on the phone with his squad this week making sure he has better attendance.

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks

Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 48-12 (Losing Streak), beat Freeballers 40-25 (Mavericks)

Losing Streak has the best record and most points scored in D1 after two weeks, though they still haven't played a team that has beaten anyone. His next three opponents just happen to be the three QBs ranked above him though, so his destiny is in his own hands for climbing the Power Rankings.

#5 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week: Did Not Play

No game for Grey Hair - Don't Care this week. No sign of Eickhoff reffing either.

#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies

Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 37-29 (Frodo Swaggins), lost to Passing While Intoxicated 41-36, lost to Puckett All-Stars 62-24 (BAADies)

We're going to skip right past those BAADies losses (where Garrett DID score 60 points along the way, which is by no means terrible) to talk about that Eyes Downtown win. Welcome to the big leagues Beesing! After starting in D3 maybe 4-5 years ago (?), Frodo finally won their first game in the highest division. We don't think they'll be hoisting the trophy this year, but maybe they ARE a threat to upset some teams along the way.

#7 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended

Last Week: Beat Freeballers 38-20

Looks like Travis is the permanent QB of this team now, not Kyle. No Punt Intended is the last undefeated team in D2, and Travis is 4-0 this season including his Legends backup duty. It's not going to happen, but... what would Legends record have to fall to before we would put Travis ahead of Joey in the Power Rankings?

#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 28-23

Untouchaballs were dominant last Spring in D3, then they had kind of a weird Fall with multiple forfeits and some close losses. It's still early, but it LOOKS like Burr has them back on track to being a top contender in D2 this season. It probably helps to have insane talent like Helm and Mel.

#9 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club

Last Week: Beat Vaspian 37-12

After a couple close games to start their season, Bullet Club got a relatively easy game this week against a Drew-less Vaspian. Yawn. Bullet Club takes the W and starts their season in style as the team to beat in D3. Remember when these guys were getting killed every session (in D2) with other QBs?

#10 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week: Lost to Losing Streak 48-12

Tough to sugarcoat this one, it has been a BRUTAL start to the season for Scared Hitless. They followed up a 37 point loss in Week One to the Sticky Bandits with... a 36 point loss to Losing Streak in Week Two. At the current rate, they'll be winning games again by Spring 2025. Both sides of the ball have been rough, but it's that 6.0 PPG on offense that's working against Dylan right now in our Power Rankings.

#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 39-38

The Wanderers have been good as advertised this season... on offense, where they're scoring 34.7 PPG (good for tenth best in the TSL). Unfortunately they're giving up as many points as they're scoring right now, which is putting all the pressure on Frank to keep up. So far they're just one "illegal formation" away from 3-0 though, so Frank doesn't seem to be crumbling under the spotlight.

#12 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers

Last Week: Lost to No Punt Intended 38-20, lost to Mavericks 40-25

We don't have the exact count, but based on eyewitness reports it seems like Dylan threw about seven interceptions between his two games last week. NOT so great. Freeballers have all kinds of athleticism on their roster but they'll need a focused Dylan if they want to make a run at the D2 championship.

#13 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 28-23

The bad news: Practice Squad are currently in last place as the only winless team left in D2. The good news: they've lost each of their games by exactly 5 points, which means they're a tweak away from being undefeated in some parallel universe. If they win ANOTHER championship as the lowest seeded team, we're betting our life savings on them in D1 next Fall.

#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 39-38

Buchlis vs Laudico was a battle of two savvy vets who have each been playing the co-ed football game for over a decade now, and it showed. Let's Get Reccked lost the shootout by a single point, but with apologies to Itches and Ohs (we'll get to them in a second) it's looking like D3 could be a three way dance between Let's Get Reccked, Bullet Club and Wanderers.

#15 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters

Last Week: Beat Degeneration SeXy 38-21

How dare we leave Itches and Ohs out of the D3 contenders conversation!? Itches started their season without the ever-dangerous Laura Streeter and still pulled off a 17 point win over Degeneration Sexy. Steve Moser is not going to accept "afterthought" status in the D3 race this season, and may be the early favorite to win D6 as well with GrASS Eaters.

Fancy Statistics Section

Look: You're STILL not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it). But... we do want to show you one "way too early to matter" graphic right now. This is the chart of every team's offensive points per game after two weeks. We're intentionally not labeling every team, because that's not the point. The POINT is to take a look at how much Puckett All-Stars are crushing the rest of the League at this moment (Puckett is shown in pink below):

Yeah, it's a stupid observation. They've played only one game against a gender team. Still, it's pretty cool how much they're lapping the field right now.

Oh, and if you're curious who those three teams in single digits are at the other end of the graph, it's Creekers (brand new team), Tight Ends in Motion (we wonder if they miss Bro?) and Scared Hitless.

***

What's YOUR ranking?

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