WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Wednesday, 07 May 2025 19:58

Published: Wednesday, 07 May 2025 19:58

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1646

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings! 

No graphs and visual wizardry for you yet of course (they’re coming soon!), but here are your Top FIFTEEN starting QBs in the TSL:

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Lost to GirthQuakes 30-28

Has there EVER been a #1 ranked Quarterback after two weeks who was still winless?  Joey is setting records, and not the kind he’s used to.  But word is he didn’t suit up for Legends this week, and the Stunts just suffered their first regular season loss in like THREE FULL SEASONS, so his spot on the top of this chart is definitely up for grabs.  We didn’t want to punish the guy after one loss in his last 32ish games (someone fact check that, it’s got to be the League record) so he keeps the top spot for at least one more week.

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Bobby is one of them.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat What A Dump 27-21

The good news for the Sticky Bandits: they’re still undefeated two games into the season, and on top of the early D1 standings.  The bad news: the teams they’ve beaten are a combined 0-5, so maybe they shouldn’t break out the champagne just yet?  We’ll know more about the quality of the team after next week’s Legends game.  Side note: it’s great to write “Legends” again instead of their other trolling team names.

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 41-37, lost to Legends 55-8

Much like the Sticky Bandits above, both of Frodo’s wins this season come against 0-5 Freeballers and What A Dump.  Neither of those teams are duds (What A Dump in particular should get decent odds to win D1 in a couple months, we’re thinking) but Frodo is still looking for a signature win against Legends, who they have (maybe? Possibly?) never beaten before.  Last week wasn’t a huge step forwards in that regard, as they got annihilated 55-8 by the Legends backup QB.  Hey, doubleheaders are tough.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless via forfeit

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Ryan is one of them.  Due to an unexpected forfeit by Scared Hitless, CTT has now outscored their opponents 85-0 in the standings… without facing a “real” D2 team yet. 

#6 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to Freeballers 41-37 (Freeballers), beat Jabronies 38-26, beat Show Me Your TDs (Mavericks)

We’re going to have to stop showing Show Me Your TDs scores in this article for a while, and when we start doing our graphs and charts etc we’re going to have to back those out too.  It’s no disrespect to say that they’re in the wrong division this season, and including their stats is VERY misleading for other teams.  So yes, the Mavericks beat them handily, but more impressively, they also beat a good Jabronies team.  And Freeballers ALMOST took a close one against Frodo Swaggins.  Freeballers are 0-3 right now, but they’ve been VERY competitive in all three games.  They’ll break through for a win sooner rather than later.

#7 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat GirthQuakes 50-8

GirthQuakes looks like a pretty strong team in D3 this session.  So what does it say about the Wanderers that they destroyed them 50-8 on Saturday?  It’s not too “bold” a prediction to say we expect the Wanderers to win every week, but… we kind of expect them to win every week now.  Frank may have better chemistry with his receivers than any quarterback in the League right now (which isn’t surprising, since they’ve probably played together since the 1990s)

#8 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Jabronies 38-7

New QB this session for the Malones, same results.  These guys have outscored their opponents 87-24 so far this season… and their next three games are Show Me Your TDs, injury ravaged Scared Hitless, and then Show Me Your TDs again.  They could be looking at a truly scary 240-38 point differential in a couple weeks if they keep it up.

#9 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Cody is one of them.  They’ll build momentum eventually (this team is too good not to) but an early loss to Frodo and a game without their starting QB in week two doesn’t help.

#10 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked

Last Week:  Did Not Play

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Alex is one of them.

 #11 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost via forfeit

A LOT of top talent didn’t have games this week, or were simply not at the fields.  Scared Hitless DID have a game, but they didn’t show up for it, so they took the forfeit L this week.

#12 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 42-25 (PWI), lost to Come From Behind 34-33

PWI had the first week of the season off, but the rust from an extra long offseason didn’t show.  There were rumors that Buddy was going to move up to a D2 team this offseason and it didn’t seem to happen, which is a shame.  There isn’t a division “too good” for this guy.  ILF surprisingly lost against the D5 champions (who were without their QB!) but take a look at the scoreboard and you’ll see it wasn’t Buddy’s fault… unless you blame him for not taking charge of that defense.

#13 Derek Pew - 716

Last Week:  Beat D-Generation X Y and Z 40-28

716 is an interesting team on paper, with outstanding male athletes and some newer female talent.  Their success (or failure) this season will likely come down to how well Derek Pew plays at the QB position, and so far the results have been strong.  716 has a 1-1 record, and they were one score away from going 2-0 with a win in their first game of the season.  Are they strong enough to beat the Wanderers in the playoffs?  Maybe, maybe not, but at least they have the talent to have a chance.

#14 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots

Last Week:  Lost to Buffalo Vice 38-37 (Practice Squad), beat Vaspian 20-6 (Tater Tots)

Practice Squad is in last place in D3 after two weeks, but don’t blame the offense, as they’re fourth (out of 10) in their division in scoring.  B knows how to get points, and eventually that will translate into wins.  The Tots on the other hand are struggling to score points so far, which could be weather related or could be talent related?  It’s too early to read much into any of these numbers, but that doesn’t mean we’re not trying!

#15 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club

Last Week:  Lost to Passing While Intoxicated 42-25

It’s no secret that TSL’s greatest division lately has been D3, and that’s because of all the parity.  Anyone can win any game, and five teams are already 1-1 with VERY similar stats.  It’s tough to split hairs at this point and rank one Quarterback above another, but 15^th is where we’re slotting Dylan for now.   

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 8 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Wednesday, 16 October 2024 20:19

Published: Wednesday, 16 October 2024 20:19

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2245

 

 

***

 

Division by Division Review of the TSL

 

For our final analysis of the season, we're going to show you the following:

• The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division.  Last season for the first time ever, we had zero forfeits to adjust for, so a nice, clean data set.  This session we had 14 forfeits!  Yes, half of them came from Straw Hats, but there were still many others, which of course we backed out of the data set for our analytics.  Then we tried to color each team's data by their official jersey colors, but half of this league apparently uses the same colors so it's not perfect (sorry Cunning Stunts for your sexist pink coloring!)
• A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with a similar "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we've used in previous seasons (if you're winning games by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math of your team's point differentials).  For what it's worth, in the last seven seasons that we've been showing these graphs, we've had 26 eventual division champions classified as "Favorites", 22 as "Contenders", and exactly zero as "Pretenders".  Contenders actually won 4 divisions last Spring, compared to only 2 Favorites! 
• A quick twitter sized (or "X sized") recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group.  Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think Blitzkrieg are overrated, but if the underlying numbers say their team is underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended thinking the "website is being mean".  We're just reading numbers off a website, man.  Relax.

 

And away we go!

 

Division 1

 

 

The Headline:  The Wet Bandits are heavy favorites, with a few flawed rivals trying to catch them on a bad day.  Freeballers are also here.

 

Underrated:  Frodo Swaggins is fourth in the D1 standings, but third in offense, third in defense, and third in point differential.  If the Sticky Bandits hadn't just won the championship a few months ago, and you had to evaluate all these teams based on this season alone, wouldn't you say Frodo Swaggins is the clear choice as the third best team in the League right now?  And yet almost no one is discussing them as a real contender.  Frodo shoots themselves in the foot sometimes by losing games they need to win, going 1-3 against D1 this session and mostly padding their record in D2 crossover games.  But other than their kryptonite Wet Bandits, none of their losses were games they didn't have a shot at winning.  

 

Overrated:  The Freeballers went 3-6 this season... but if we strip out D2 teams they won't face in the playoffs, their record would fall to 0-4 with an average point differential of -18.5 PPG.  They've played really well in the last month against some upper level D2 teams, and having Hogan back makes them a much better team.  But they fall into "overrated" category for likelihood of playoff success until they can pick up their first "real" D1 win.

 

 

Division 2

 

 

The Headline: Three competitive teams battle for glory while Scared Hitless and Grey Hair hope for some upsets.  Is there a sixth team in this division?

 

Underrated:  Before we go any further, let's just re-run the charts above, but using ONLY the D2 games against other D2 teams, and not the D1 crossover games:

 

 

THIS is the chart you need to look at to understand the D2 playoffs.  Of course one would expect EVERY D2 team's record to improve when you throw out the D1 games (Grey Hair, strangely, got worse, as their record against D1 was somehow better than their record against D2) but the most interesting situation was the Malones.  The Malones went 4-5 this season against all opponents... but that includes an 0-4 record against D1 teams and a 4-1 record against D2 teams.  And their point differential was MUCH better against their own division rivals.  We have our own suspicions why that might be (teams used to killing their opponents in D3 might not be the best at keeping their composure when they're playing from behind against a top D1 team) but regardless of the reason, they played GREAT against their own division.  Of course the Mavericks could beat them in the playoffs.  Of course Can't Touch This could beat them.  But shouldn't Malones be considered THE favorites right now, with the best in-division record and stats?  This is the most underrated team in D2 right now.

 

Overrated:  There are a couple ways to think about which team is the most "overrated".  The Untouchaballs are losing by about 20 points per game right now and their only win this season came by a single point against a team that was ALSO 1-4 against its division.  But that doesn't make them overrated statistically (they're in last place, and the stats say... that they should be in last place), it might just make them a bit overrated reputationally, since people still regard them (and rightfully so) as former D2 champions.  So Untouchaballs might be getting a BIT more respect than they've earned THIS season, which makes them overrated in that sense.  But the obvious choice based on the numbers is the Mavericks.  Has a #1 seed ever been just +6 total points on the entire season?  Sure, the crossover games skew a lot of D2 numbers, but Can't Touch This is +37 (not counting a forfeit) and The Malones are +33.  Throw out the D1 games entirely, and Mavericks are a solid +6.6 PPG, which is good... but not particularly great for a #1 seed. 

 

 

Division 3

 

 

The Headline:  TSL's best division has five, MAYBE six contenders, and no one knows who will win.

 

Underrated:  Practice Squad is the fourth best team in their division, but they have the best point differential.  Easy choice for "most underrated team" here.  Their three regular season losses were by 6 points, 2 points and 1 point, and their QB pretty FAMOUSLY brings his best game to the playoffs.  We still think Wanderers are the team to beat in D3, but we wouldn't bet against Practice Squad... especially since they were the ones who ended the Wanderers season just a few months ago.

 

Overrated:  We at the QB Rankings are big fans of Buffalo Vice, who have been a great team for a long time in this league.  But this season, they clearly take the title of "most overrated team" in D3.  It's not their fault exactly, but two of their three wins came via forfeit against Toppers All Stars & Todd (we blame Todd) and Straw Hats (who you'll notice we didn't even show in the standings above).  So they're 1-6 in actual games played, and that one win was against Bullet Club without their starting QB.  No "signature wins" on the season yet doesn't give us a lot of confidence that they'll beat Toppers All-Stars and then the Wanderers back-to-back on Saturday.

 

 

Division 4

 

 

The Headline:  It's Cunning Stunts championship to lose, but Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers and GirthQuakes have a real chance.

 

Underrated:  GirthQuakes started the season slow, with four straight losses to Select, The Herd, Creekers and Cunning Stunts (sure, there's a forfeit win over Cobblestone in there too).  Since then they are 4-0 and they've won by 6, by 22, by 40 and then by 50.  If you believe in momentum mattering for playoffs, this is the team that has it.  Now you could argue that they've padded their stats a bit with two huge wins on the last day of the season, and that is true.  But they also came within three points of beating the Stunts (who no other team has come within 18 points of beating) and they DID beat the #2 seeded Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers.  Their record may show that they're only 5-4, but this is a much better team than that.

 

Overrated:  It would be simple enough to point out that The Herd is a #3 seeded team despite having a negative point differential, and that alone would make them a decent candidate for Most Overrated Team in D4.  But let's compare them to GirthQuakes, the other 5-4 in their division that they're ahead of based on an early season head-to-head win.  They have very similar offenses (37 PPG for the Herd, 36.6 PPG for GirthQuakes) but look at their defenses: GirthQuakes are allowing 24 PPG defensively, and the Herd is allowing a whopping 38.2 PPG, fourth worst in the entire TSL!  It's a massive credit to Mark and the offense that they've been able to win more games than they've lost this season giving up THAT many points.  In fact among the 11 teams with the worst defenses in the League, the Herd is the ONLY team with a winning record (the rest being a combined 24-66).  It's impressive that they can keep up with most teams on the strength of their offense... but isn't there a VERY talented opponent in D4 that's going to score gender touchdowns on just about every drive?

 

 

Division 5

 

 

The Headline:  Come From Behind and PowerPuff Girls should meet in the Finals, right?  Right???

 

Underrated:  Spinelli's are the last place team in D5 going into the playoffs... but they don't look like a last place team to us.  Sure, their defense sucks (last in their division, 11th worst in the TSL) but their offense is third BEST in their division, and their point differential says they should be about a fifth place team.  Not great, but also not a last place pushover.  PowerPuff Girls will be the favorite in their first round matchup, but not by that much, right?  Spinelli's lost by 12 the first time these teams played way back in Week One... and then by only two points in the rematch a few weeks ago.  If you're looking for a #8 seed to bet your paycheck on in the first round: this is the one.

 

Overrated:  Two Tuddies had a great season finishing in third place with a 6-3 record.  Considering they were 0-7-1 last season, this is a massive improvement.  (Do we still do a Most Improved Team Award at the banquet?)  That said, they finish the season only at +1.1 PPG point differential which is fairly average; they ended the season on a 2-3 stretch after starting 4-0; and most importantly, there are question marks around the health of their QB1.  We're not sure if Mike Wolcott is healthy yet, but they've been using a lot of sublist QBs since he got hurt... and that's not going to happen in the playoffs.  The Tuddies play great defense, but to beat PowerPuff Girls and Come From Behind they'll need some offense too.  Do they have a healthy enough QB to keep up? 

 

 

Division 6

 

 

The Headline:  Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins should meet in the Finals, right?  Right???

 

Underrated:  Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins have the best offenses in D6 by FAR.  They have the best defenses in D6 by FAR.  They have the best point differentials in D6 by... you guessed it... FAR.  So those two teams are properly rated as "very good" and won't be appearing on either of these lists.  In fact MOST of D6 ended up in exactly the order you'd expect given their point differentials, so teams are generally fairly rated in this division.  The most underrated team then... has got to be Day by Day.  The former "Just Joshing" team is in fourth place, but they're the ONLY team outside of Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins to finish with a positive point differential.  They're also the only team to actually BEAT one of the "Big Two", with a win over Blitzkrieg about a month ago.  No one is talking them to win the division, and that's fair.  Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins are the favorites, and they deserve to be.  But if anyone is capable of playing spoiler in this division, it's Day by Day.

 

Overrated:  Sticky Laces had the sixth best offense in their division, and the fifth best defense.  Somehow, the combination of those below average ranks made them... the fourth best point differential?  And the third best record in the standings?  How??  This is another team (like Two Tuddies in D5) who struggled last session and were able to turn things around this Fall, and it's awesome to see.  But the numbers (especially that negative point differential) suggest that they overachieved a little bit this season, and they should regress a bit in the playoffs.  We think they might win their first round game... but if the semis and finals go through Blitzkrieg and Sausage McMuffins, well, Sticky Laces lost those regular season games by 20 and 35, so October 26th could be a bit of a struggle for them!

 

***

 

Top Ten Best and Worst Lists for the 2024 Fall Season

 

The division analysis above is the real meat and potatoes of this article, but in case you're curious how you stack up against teams in OTHER divisions, here are the top ten (and bottom ten) teams in the entire TSL for offensive points per game, defensive points per game, and average point differential per game:

 

 

What did we learn from this??  The magic numbers for us are always 20 and 40.  Nearly every team in this League averages between 20-40 PPG both offensively and defensively.  If you're higher than 40 offensively or lower than 20 defensively, you're doing an amazing job.  If you're lower than 20 offensively or higher than 40 defensively... you're probably not winning too many games.  This season we had two teams crack the 40 point mark, including one over 50 points... and both were QBed by a man named Joseph Battaglia.  Congrats to Cunning Stunts, our Fall 2024 scoring champs (their fourth scoring title since we started tracking this... no other team has even two). 

 

So if Cunning Stunts were the BEST offense, who were the worst?  This season, just like last, we had six teams fail to make it to 20 PPG on offense.  Those teams (Dogg Pound, TMA, Pit Harade, Toppers All-Stars & Todd, Untouchaballs and Cobblestone) unsurprisingly went a combined 10-44 this season.  

 

Then if we look at defenses, there were three teams (Sausage McMuffins, Blitzkrieg, Come From Behind) that held opponents to under 20 PPG this session.  There were zero teams that allowed 40+ points per game, but Untouchaballs were one 2-Pt Conversion away from hitting that mark!

 

Besides the "40/20 Clubs", what else do we see from the best and worst units in the League?  Blitzkrieg and Come From Behind were the only two teams in the League to make all three "Ten Best" lists for offense, defense and point differentials.  There were four teams to make all three "Ten Worst" lists, including Creekers, the Untouchaballs, Cobblestone (STILL playing short-handed most weeks) and Toppers All-Stars & Todd (stats don't even reflect their two forfeit losses!)

 

 

***

 

All-Time Championship Statistics

 

A couple years ago we compiled a list of every TSL champion in League history and devised a ranking system to see who the "best teams of all time" were.  This was exhausting to research and put together, but it's now very simple to update once a session, so that's what we've done here.  The timing feels right to update you all on this now JUST before playoffs so we can remind you what you're chasing here... co-ed football immortality.  Here are the current immortals:

 

 

THAT part is objective - the champs are the champs, and we'd like to think history will remember their achievements for 1,000 years to come (history classes will likely debate what exactly the "Tommy Hughes Experience" was).  This next part though is subjective:  we then attempted to compare the relative strength of each division's championships to come up with a ranking system (a D2 title is harder to win than a D4 title) and this is what we landed on:

• A D1 championship is our baseline since it's the best a team can do.  Let's make that worth 100 points.  
• A D2 title is worth, at BEST, 49% of that, since two D2 titles don't quite equal a D1 title (you can argue it should be LESS than 49%, but we've made the choice to weight lower divisions as heavily as reasonably possible here).  49 points for a D2 title.
• A D3 title should be worth 49% of THAT, so about 24 points for each D3 championship.
• Every subsequent division is worth 49% of the previous one, so D4 is worth 11 points, D5 is worth 5 points, and D6 is worth 2 points.
• Indoor championships aren't currently worth a point (though we may revise this in the future).  With apologies to DILFS, Jelly Beans, Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown and Friendship Club, Winter sessions are often used to make new teams and play with new people.  No team should be penalized in the rankings for doing that instead of entering their usual squad.  We'll give them credit for "number of titles", which they've earned, but zero points awarded.  Indoor championships are abbreviated as "W:A" (Winter: A) and "W:B" on the chart below, to make it a little easier to read.

 

It's an arbitrary system of course, but it's the one we chose.  So here is the updated list of your "greatest champions of all time" going into the Fall 2024 playoffs (active teams are highlighted below; split into two segments side-by-side to make font size more easily readable):

 

 

We always debate making a change to the math above so that subsequent championships in the same division would be worth less the second time around.  After all, was it fair that Puckett kept improving their standings by winning D4 over and over?  Shouldn't they have moved up before this session?  But for now we decided to leave it as is.

 

So where does that leave us today?  Wet Bandits (Legends) have tied Green & Associates by winning their third D1 championship, and two more would tie Public Enemy as the greatest team in TSL history.  Eyes Downtown could jump from 5th to 2nd with another win, and Sticky Bandits from 9th to 4th.

 

The Sticky Bandits are tied with Public Enemy and Puckett All-Stars for the most total TSL Championships of all-time with five.  If they win again this season, they'll stand alone as the only six time champions in TSL history.

 

Bottom line, people remember champions, not the teams who come in second place, so immortality can only be found by winning it all.  Good luck!

 

 

***

 

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this season!  We can't possibly make any other charts for you at this point (this was exhausting) and we doubt anyone has read this start-to-finish anyway.  

 

We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts on any of the above, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  Good luck in the playoffs.

 

What's YOUR ranking?

Week 1 Power Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Tuesday, 29 April 2025 17:46

Published: Tuesday, 29 April 2025 17:46

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 1613

POWER RANKINGS

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

“There are 54 teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 54 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 25, so we do try to be inclusive.

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking, if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally, we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  We no longer have our own email address, so if you want to tell us about your QB, why not email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and introduce yourself?  And please, please be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Mike Thomas just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.

"What about Breakfast Club QBs?"

Breakfast Club is for fun, not crushing your opponents, so if you're running up the score to try to get noticed... well, that only makes you an asshole!  We don't put a lot of stock in the stats from Breakfast Club and don't factor that into our Rankings.

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best male receivers, best female receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.  

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty-ish teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official bold predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 

• Come From Behind makes it to the D4 Finals… but lose the game
• What a Dump defeats Eyes Downtown in the regular season… but Eyes Downtown wins the playoff matchup (IF they meet in the playoffs at all)
• Every team in D5 loses at least two games.  Too tough a division to go undefeated (or even 7-1!)
• TSL Legend Joey Batts wins ZERO championships this Spring, after winning every single game in the Fall
• The Wanderers finally win their first TSL championship this Spring, winning by less than 6 points in the Finals game
• Out of the three truly “all new teams” (Show Me Your TDs, Mo Chicken, Raw Milkers), Raw Milkers will finish with the best record this season

But what do we know?  We went 3 out of 6 on last year's predictions:

• PowerPuff Girls take the #1 seed in the D5 regular season... but they don't win the D5 Championship game [NAILED it.  PowerPuff Girls DID take the #1 seed, and Come From Behind won the championship.]
• Bullet Club and Toppers All-Stars & Todd repeat this session as needing play-in games to make the D3 playoffs (and this time, Topper doesn't forfeit!) [Half right, but that doesn’t really count – Toppers All Stars & Todd were in the play-in game for D3 last year, but Bullet Club made fools of us all by finishing 5-4]
• Joey Batts wins exactly one championship this Fall session [Joey Batts didn’t lose a game last session, and we promised EXACTLY one championship, so we got this one very wrong]
• The Malones play in, but lose, the D2 Championship game [The Malones were one play away from WINNING the D2 championship game and proving us wrong… but Mavericks beat them on their final drive, which means we got this prediction 100% right]
• Day by Day will win the D6 Championship this Fall.  You heard it here first. [They did not.  Congrats to Blitzkrieg!]
• Cobblestone will forfeit at least one OTHER game this season (besides the one they forfeited on Saturday) [Sadly we got this one right too.  Darryl, man… build a more reliable roster!]

So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Spring 2025 Season.  

As always, we do NOT overreact to one week's worth of games in our first Power Rankings of the season.  You also might not see MANY new people yet because we need a larger sample size to see how some of these changes play out.  Sorry if you don't like it, but if people are good enough, their stock will rise quickly and we'll get them Ranked over the next few weeks.  

Here are your Top Ten starting QBs in the TSL:

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Undefeated Fall (and Winter?) champion Joseph Battaglia starts on top of the Power Rankings of course.  No games for either of this teams this week – do we think he requested the bye week to ensure he’d stay on top of the Power Rankings for at least one more week?

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 30-17

Eyes Downtown had like 80% roster turnover since Fall season, but it doesn’t seem to have slowed Bobby down much.  Eyes Downtown rolled to an easy 14 point win their opening weekend, and they’re #1 in the D1 standings as well.

#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 39-32

The reigning TSL D1 Quarterback of the Year started the season with a close win against Freeballers.  Why does Bobby McConnell start higher on the Power Rankings than Mike Thomas when they played the exact same opponent and Mike scored more points?  Sometimes these things don’t make any sense…

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat What a Dump 40-30

There has been a bit of a “Big Three” in the Power Rankings for the last year or so, but it might be time to expand that to a “Big Four”.  Frodo Swaggins leads D1 in scoring after one week, and they were on the cusp of making the Championship game last Fall.  Look for these guys to make the jump to serious contenders this Spring.

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Show Me Your TDs 64-0

Let’s be clear: Ryan isn’t 5^th in the Power Rankings because Can’t Touch This beat the shit out of a brand new team in their first ever game.  Ryan is 5^th in the Power Rankings because he has evolved into one of the most complete quarterbacks in the League.  CTT plays in D2, but Dougherty HAS beaten the two QBs listed above him in these Power Rankings before…

#6 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 39-30, lost to Eyes Downtown 30-17 (Freeballers)

No games for Mavericks yet.  Jordan chose to keep them in D2 this session, but is ALSO playing D1, so we can’t really play the “too scared to move up” card, right?  Either way – D1 is hard, especially throwing for a new team.  A doubleheader against two former champions didn’t help either.

#7 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat Buffalo Vice 45-22, beat Let’s Get Recked 31-27

Every year we are convinced that the Wanderers will win D3 and make the jump to D2, and every year their season ends a little earlier than we thought.  We’re not afraid to call it again (just look at our bold predictions above!), they’re going ALL the way this season.  Frank is too good to not win this championship eventually.

#8 Rhace Colon – The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 38-17

We don’t like putting “rookie QBs” in the Top Ten until they’ve had a few more games to prove their worth, but The Malones looked PRETTY GOOD against a solid Scared Hitless team last week.  It sounds like Rhace is taking over from Andy Strug this session (who is moving to receiver).  That’s a bold move for a team that was on the verge of winning D2 last session with their last QB.

#9 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump

Last Week:  Lost to Frodo Swaggins 40-30

TWO “rookie QBs” in a row!  We don’t do this very often (if ever).  What a Dump is the Eyes Downtown offshoot team that has most of the “Eyes Downtowny” talent, with a new face at QB.  They lost their first game of the season, but Cody has thrown before (gender teams, wine tournament etc) and we’re betting that these guys will find their rhythm soon.

 #10 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to The Malones 38-17

“Scared Hitless lost to the Malones.  So has everyone else who has played them this year.  Probably not a big deal, we're thinking.” That’s what we wrote in Week One of last Fall’s Power Rankings, and it’s shockingly true several months later.  They lost Travis this season, and potentially new add George Lombardo as well, so not off to a great start… but we’ve counted Scared Hitless out before just to see them finish strong.

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?

WEEK 7 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 10 October 2024 11:52

Published: Thursday, 10 October 2024 11:52

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2247

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  

 

#1 Joey Batts - Wet Bandits / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 32-16, beat Scared Hitless 51-23 (Wet Bandits), beat The Herd 55-37 (Stunts)

Two undefeated (regular) seasons with the two highest scoring teams in the TSL.  You can't really beat that for a resume on the Quarterback Power Rankings.  And we'll give you a spoiler for next week too: Joey will finish #1 in our Final Rankings of the year also.

 

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Beat Sticky Bandits 46-44, beat Can't Touch This 53-45

Eyes Downtown gave up 89 points defensively in a doubleheader Saturday, and won them both.  That is not an easy thing to do.  Bobby can't catch Joey for #1 in the Power Rankings this season... but he can still catch a win over him in the D1 Championship game.

 

#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Lost to Eyes Downtown 46-44, lost to Wet Bandits 32-16

The Sticky Bandits lost to both of their biggest rivals on Saturday, which has them as currently the third best team in D1 going into the playoffs (and Frodo can still pass them next week).  A lot of people thought they were the third best team last season too, but Sticky took home the championship.  Can Thomas overcome having the tenth worst defense in the TSL to do it again this Fall?

 

#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 46-21

Frodo has been just 6-20 since they made the jump to D1 a few seasons ago, but now for the first time they've locked up a non-losing record in the TSL's hardest division.  With a win over Sticky Bandits on Saturday, Frodo can finish 5-3-1 and steal a first round bye from the defending champions.  Garrett has been THAT good this season.

 

#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This

Last Week:  Beat Untouchaballs 42-6, lost to Eyes Downtown 53-45

Remember when Can't Touch This was inexplicably losing a whole bunch of games in a row and we couldn't figure out what was wrong?  That feels like a lifetime ago.  Ryan has turned this team into a true D1 squad, capable of beating any team in the League on their best day.  Will they win D2 and move up?  The Mavericks and the Malones stand in their way.

 

#6 Andy Strug - The Malones

Last Week:  Beat Mavericks 47-21

The Malones are 3-5... but four of their five losses have come against D1 teams they definitely WON'T see in the playoffs.  A win over Mavericks this past week should be enough to remind everyone that the division STILL has to run through the Malones.

 

#7 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks

Last Week:  Lost to The Malones 47-21, lost to Freeballers 32-23

The Mavericks have lost three of their last four games after a dominant start to the season.  Does this mean that something is wrong, or just an understandable lack of focus since they've already locked up a first round bye for the playoffs?  It's tough to say, but if they care about going into the playoffs as the #1 seed, they'll have a lot harder matchup against Eyes Downtown this week than their rivals Can't Touch This will with Freeballers.

 

#8 Jeremy Olson - Freeballers

Last Week:  Did Not Play

We haven't seen a lot of Hogan at the fields this season.  And he wore a mask that one time too, so that could have been anyone.

 

#9 Frank Laudico - Wanderers

Last Week:  Beat Toppers All-Stars 35-20

Did Frank pass Dylan Day in the Power Rankings because he beat a last place Toppers All Stars team by 15 points?  Not really... but Dylan misses a lot of games, and say this about Frank: he is one of the most reliable QBs in the TSL.  Has he ever missed a game in our League?  In ANY league?

 

 #10 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No Dylan this week against Wet Bandits.  Not a bad game to miss...

 

#11 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Bullet Club wrapped up two weeks early this season.  Dylan's only hope of rising in the final Power Rankings next week is someone else above him falling out.

 

#12 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No games for the TSL's best playoff QB this week.

 

#13 David Eickhoff - Grey Hair Don't Care

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No games for Grey Hair Don't Care this week... but next week Grey Hair gets to be the only TSL team to play TEN regular season games this session.

 

#14 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked

Last Week:  Beat Buffalo Vice 39-18

Let's Get Reccked is showing the value of peaking at the right time, as they've won their last two games by a combined 43 points.  Can they carry the momentum into the playoffs, or will Rick Recckio get too drunk to keep it together on game day?

 

#15 Damien Keller - Mix'n It Up

Last Week:  Beat Jabronies 38-25

Mix'n It Up was a 6-1 favorite to win D3 by the Godfather in his preseason article, where he also ranked them the third most likely team to win D3.  We would have them fourth if we're being honest, with Jabronies expected to finish ahead of them.  But Mix'n It Up is just one way away from locking up the #1 seed this session, and proving a lot of people (including us) wrong about them.

 

#16 Joe Miano - Jabronies

Last Week:  Lost to Mix'n It Up 38-25

What is Jabronies most impressive win of the season to date?  Is it Practice Squad?  Let's Get Reccked?  Every time we're about to put these guys in the top tier of D3, they lose a game to a top team that we expect they'll win.  No shame losing to Mix'n It Up, but we'd like to see ONE great win before the playoffs (and we won't: their last game of the season is the forfeit win over Straw Hats).

 

#17 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week:  Lost to Can't Touch This 42-6

Jeremy Burr is ranked 17th in our QB rankings.  Do we really believe there are 16 quarterbacks who are better than Burr right now?  Maybe not, but that's what a 1-7 record and 20.0 PPG will get you.  There are only six teams in the League with fewer points per game than Untouchaballs right now.

 

#18 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls

Last Week:  Did Not Play

We're pretty sure that was Cody throwing for PowerPuff Girls again this week.

 

#19 Mark Dalfonso - The Herd

Last Week:  Lost to Cunning Stunts 55-37

The Herd have become a legitimate contender in D4 almost overnight with the addition of Mark and some of his veteran buddies.  The Cunning Stunts are still the Cunning Stunts though.  

 

#20 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated / Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers

Last Week:  Did Not Play

We don't THINK Buddy played any games this weekend, since it looked like Mike Shimburski and John Langley were throwing for his teams.

 

#21 Derek Pew - Vaspian

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No games for Vaspian this week.

 

#22 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice

Last Week:  Lost to PWI 24-19, lost to Let's Get Reccked 39-18

Buffalo Vice is 3-5... but two of their wins came by forfeit, which makes it tough to bet TOO hard on this team in the playoffs.  D3 is the most even division and often gives us a surprise winner, so you never know...

 

#23 Matthew Kieta - GirthQuakes

Last Week:  Beat Select 34-12

The GirthQuake experiment has been a success, and only Cobblestone and Vaspian stand in the way of a winning record (and a POSSIBLE #3 seed in D4, if the Herd falls apart on Saturday).  Matt Kieta has surprised many with his excellent play at QB, although it probably helps having a Klussman, a McConnell and a Jaloza on the roster to impart wisdom.

 

#24 Brandt Dubey - Toppers All Stars & Todd

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Dubey didn't play for Toppers All Stars & Todd this week (that was the legendary Patrick McGovern slinging it!) but he's "the starter" so this spot in the Power Rankings is his to lose.  Dubey was once #2 in the Power Rankings, way back in Spring 2019 when we first started.  That team might have been a little more talented than this one, to be fair.

 

#25 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind

Last Week:  Beat Stir the Sauce 44-14

Paul is, PROBABLY, still the QB1 of Come From Behind.  We haven't seen him much this session (was he there on Saturday vs Stir the Sauce?) but he's still one of the greatest when he plays.  Come From Behind is tied for the best record in D5 and this could finally be their session to win it all.

 

Division All-Stars

It's been a few seasons since we've done this, but your TSL Division All-Stars are back!  Here's how it works:

 

• We selected an All-Star team of 10 players from each division.  Teams had to have one designated QB, at least five other male players, and at least three female players.  The tenth spot could be either male or female depending on the strength of each particular division.
• Every division must have at least one All-Star from EACH team in the division.  After each team gets their minimum one representative, we'll fill out the rest of the roster however we want.  We TRY to spread this out so please don't write us an email asking why your team didn't have five all-stars.  (Yes, of COURSE D1 could have been the entire Wet Bandits roster, but that's not fun for other teams.)
• If a player plays in more than one division, they are only eligible for the highest division they play in, UNLESS it's for a different position (i.e. Jeremy Burr is eligible as both a receiver in D1 and a quarterback in D2, but Steph Czaja is only eligible in D2 because she's not a QB and that's the highest division she plays).  This came up a LOT.  If you're wondering why you didn't make the All-Star team in the lower division you play in, please remember, you were never eligible...  Especially Cunning Stunts, who have the best roster in D4 and yet only ONE player who was eligible (spoiler: she made the D4 All-Star team) because all the rest of them play for other teams in higher divisions.
• This is not strictly a ranking of who the "best" player is on each team.  We're just looking for the best combination of players to fill out a team, and we'll take into account ALL that player offers when making our choices.
• It is not an insult to not make this list!  Lots of the TSL's BEST players didn't make it because of the criteria we've listed above.  Please try to understand, we are not saying that you suck if you're not shown...

 

So that's how it works.  It'll all be subjective of course so try not to get too excited when you don't see your name below.  These are the best combination of All-Star teams WE could think of given the rules above.  If you think you can do better, feel free to send the Godfather a better version.

 

Oh, and the names within each category (male players vs female players) are arranged alphabetically by last name (or they're supposed to be anyway), so don't read anything into the order, they're not ranked best to worst.

 

Here are your Division All-Star Teams:

 

 

 

 

Hate it?  Disagree with everyone on the list?  Go on the facebook and complain like everyone else!

 

 

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

 

What's YOUR ranking?