Week 1 Review, Week 2 Picks

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Thursday, 20 August 2020 20:45

Published: Thursday, 20 August 2020 20:45

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2295

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe,

 

Is there truly anything better than a Saturday at the Rose Garden, playing TSL football?

 

According to everyone I spoke to about Week 1: Nope.

 

The TSL2020 season made it’s debut last Saturday amid multiple new guidelines being installed. Topper himself was worried about how the league would react to the new rules, which is understandable. The end result? Looks like we passed with flying colors, and that’s because of YOU, the TSL Universe.

 

The TSL did what it always does, and we banded together. There were next to no issues about checking in before your game, wearing a mask to the fields, entering and exiting at different points of the play area, etc. You all did a wonderful job, which should’ve been expected. Everyone just wanted to play football, and that’s what we got!

 

Reports from the fields say we didn’t miss a beat. The games were exciting as hell. We saw some fantastic finishes, some blow outs, some old faces, some new faces. It was just good to be on the fields again, even if there’s only four of them. And it seems like the TSL universe agreed.

 

I’d like to give a rousing thank you from Topper, the TSL ‘Board of Directors’, the referees, and even the Rose Garden for everyone working together to make this work.

 

So, while it seems like we did a great job of what we needed to do to get on the fields, what exactly happened ON them?

 

We’re also going to welcome back predictions, complete with the lines made by the QB Power Rankings committee. It’s a lot more fun for me this way, for sure. Let’s get to it.

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Public Enemy 38, Why So Serious 20

 

Yep, that was it. We had one D1 game this week, and it pits the defending champions against D1’s newest team, Why So Serious? Pete’s new team is chock full of names you’ve heard before, but to essentially be given the TSL’s version of Trial by Fire isn’t the greatest way to start it all out. Public Enemy just did what they always do. They show up, they play their game, and they run away with the victory. This game was maybe a little closer than it looked in the final score, but its damn near impossible to play your first game as a team against Chris Cole and come out on top.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+4) – OH ITS ON! Maybe. The marquee matchup of the TSL season comes a bit early this season, as Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown clash for the 100^th time in history. No, that’s not an accurate number. While PE has the advantage of having played a game already, Eyes Downtown does not. Bobby McConnell took over the QB duties for The Angels, so he has some playing time under his belt. I’ve heard there’s a bit of roster turnover for ED which could lead to them not being as sharp as expected in their first game of the season. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 7

 

Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious (+14) – The same reasoning for the above game doesn’t quite apply here. One team might be shaking off the rust with a few newer pieces as opposed to a team building an identity in the first place. I’m not expecting any sort of bloodbath here, I definitely think that ED is going to win though. But I bet they don’t cover the spread. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 13

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Gryffindor (+11) – According to TEIM’s roster, they’ve lost Katie Salisbury but gained Margo Pagano and Maggie LaMantia. That’s an insane amount of speed to add each week. Gryffindor has only, to my knowledge, added Travis Cleavenger. He’s a good player but I’m not sure he takes that team to a new level in D1. Of course, Joey Batts could’ve revamped his roster completely for all I know, and maybe this is a better team than I think. But for now, I’ll go with TEIM as they continue to try their best to break into the upper echelon of D1. TEIM BY 16

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Bullet Club 33, Peachy Platoon 27

Slytherin That End Zone 33, Jabronies 22

Morning Wood 31, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 20

Sticky Bandits 36, Dilfs 28

 

Bullet Club started off the TSL season with the first walk off win of the season at 10:00. After former QB Jeff Easton was pressed into duty until Ricky got there, he ended up scoring a TD on his only drive. Things would open up in the 2^nd half, and with Peachy scoring late to take the lead, Ricky hit Todd Halas in the endzone for a shocking walk off win. SITE came out firing on all cylinders to welcome the Jabronies to D2. The good news for the Jabronies is that they don’t look nearly as out of place as I thought they would in the division, even if some would argue losing by 11 to a team with Gary on it is a horrible result. Speaking of put up or shut up, the lovely, friendly rivalry between Topper and Mo Saleh was immediately put on the field in Week 1. And Mo, along with the rest of Morning Wood, walked away with a hard fought victory over Topper and Co. MW looked impressive in Week 1, it’ll be interesting to see if they can keep it up over the course of a season. HOFBRAUHAUS will rebound for sure. In the day’s final game, Sticky Bandits won their D2 debut against the defending champion Dilfs. It’s hard to really get a read on this game however, since I had heard the Dilf’s were missing quite a few players. Either way, Sticky takes the champion vs champion battle to start the season off right.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Peachy Platoon vs Slytherin That End Zone (+2) – Basically a toss up. SITE is very much out to prove they should be the top contender in D2. Peachy Platoon is exactly that. It’s hard to dock PP for too many points here, considering it took a Hail Mary catch for them to be 0-1. These two teams have had some very impressive battles in recent seasons, and I expect this to be no different. I was going to pick SITE to win this one, but then I realized I couldn’t fathom PP being 0-2 to start the season. Besides, SITE does better when I put a chip on their shoulder. PEACHY PLATOON BY 4

 

Dilf’s vs Jabronies (+3) – Apparently the D2 champions can’t get any respect. Just 3 point favorites against a team that was a middle of the road D3 squad last we saw them. I’m aware Dilf’s lost when they were shorthanded last week, but I can’t imagine that happening again. The Jabronies are going to keep getting better, for the record. I don’t think Joe Miano has come close to reaching his ceiling as a QB just yet, and as he improves, so will the team. This one will go to the Dilf’s, but if they meet again in the playoffs, I may not be so sure. DILFS BY 8

 

Peachy Platoon vs Dilf’s (+10) – The disrespect tour continues. The last time these two teams met were in the playoffs, when Peachy was all but awarded the D2 championship by most of the TSL Media. However, the Dilf’s won that game, and they improved their roster, whereas Peachy may have regressed a bit. This game is going to be a pretty good one, provided everyone shows up, and may even be a D2 final preview. I’m going to take Peachy in this one, as I’m sure all of 47 Thompsons on the team haven’t forgotten about last season’s playoff upset. PEACHY PLATOON BY 6

 

Morning Wood vs Bullet Club (+7) – Two 1-0 teams meet in an early season matchup to see who will be leading the division after two weeks. (Okay, other teams can tie them, just let me hype this.) Anyway, I would’ve personally made this line “even” as well, but the TSLQBPRC sees this game as very skewed towards MW. Fresh off their 11 point win against Topper, Mo and Dave (and the rest of MW that I don’t know) look to take down another league mainstay in BC. Bullet Club’s additions performed quite well last week, as Glenn Bird, Jay German, and newcomer “Shawn” helped BC overcome Peachy. Controversy creates cash, so one has to wonder how long Joe K and Gordon will wait to pull QB Ricky Austin if “Bad Ricky” comes out to play in favor of former QB Jeff Easton. When the smoke clears, I think it’s smart to take Bullet Club and the points here. Morning Wood needs to show me more. BULLET CLUB BY 3

 

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

 

Scared Hitless 28, The Untouchaballs 27

Frodo Swaggins 40, The Untouchaballs 26

Grey Hair Don’t Care 36, En Fuego 33

All We Do Is Quinn 30, Buffalo Solar Solutions 14 (D3/D4 Crossover Game)

 

The Untouchaballs had a week to forget, starting off the season 0-2 with a thrilling one point loss to Scared Hitless and then getting rolled on by Scotty, Garrett and the boys. Frodo didn’t have any subs but still proceeded to show why they should win D3 this season with an impressive effort. Garrett emailed me personally to let me know to shout out Mike Costa in this game, describing him as “an average player that’s coming along”. Jokes aside, Costa had a long TD and an interception, so good work. I glossed over Scared Hitless’ one point win, but im sure Brandon Farr was smiling as his decision to leave End Game for greener pastures looks to be a good one. But not to be out done, the other half of the End Game divorce spotted Blasé LaDuca and En Fuego all 33 points before coming back and beating them. Okay, I don’t think it was 33-0 at one point, but let’s pretend it was. All I know is that En Fuego absolutely blew this one, according to many reports. Finally, AWDIQ won their crossover game against BSS, which isn’t the most surprising thing in the world. They’re still very talented, even if rumor has it that this their final rodeo.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs vs Vaspian (-5) – The good people from Vaspian come back into our TSL hearts and minds this week, ready to roll. They find themselves up against an Untouchaballs team that looks a lot like Vaspian did when they started in the TSL: perhaps a little overmatched as they figure it out, but full of good people who can improve. The future is bright for both of these squads, but give me the experience here. VASPIAN BY 6

 

Vaspian vs Frodo Swaggins (-8) – Vaspian goes from a new team figuring it all out to the D3 favorites just like that. Vaspian has seen Frodo before, but both teams have been improving in the offseason. In this case, it’s really coming down to QB, and there might be nobody better than Scotty right now (save for a few people in D1, not Joey Batts though). I’m not sure who is throwing for Vaspian as I had heard there was going to be an offseason change, but with the end of the world, and Kevin not emailing me, I have no idea how that went down. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 10

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs All We Do Is Quinn (-4) – Grey Hair Don’t Care won the game of the day last week with their huge comeback over En Fuego. However, AWDIQ is a much better team, and GHDC can not afford to fall behind in this one. This game will be a better litmus test for GHDC to see if they’re legit. Quinn has always been on the edge of glory in D3, and this might be the season they win it all. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 7

 

Scared Hitless vs Frodo Swaggins (-10) – It’s hard for me to pick Frodo giving 10, because I know that Garrett Beesing won’t be there this week as he ponders life in the woods. Hitless is a new team in name only, and they have players that have been around for quite some time. This won’t be a walk in the park for Frodo. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3

 

En Fuego vs All We Do Is Quinn (-5) – AWDIQ played D4 competition last week and they’re doing it again against En Fuego. This isn’t a crossover game though. En Fuego imploded last week, and I don’t think things are going to get better for them in this one. Quinn has the talent to run away with this one a little bit, while En Fuego gets caught thinking about their other game this week. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 12

 

D3/D4 Crossover Game:

 

En Fuego vs Overcompensators (+1) – NOW THIS IS A CROSSOVER GAME! There is no love lost between these two teams who just competed for the D5 title last session. This is one of the better grudge matches in the TSL right now, even if they’re in separate divisions. These teams have played in some of the better lower division matchups in recent history and here’s hoping they can do the same. Give me Larry over Blasé any day. OVERCOMPENSATORS BY 1.

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 45, Over Compensators 21

The Angels 38, Freeballers 36

 

D4 only had two games last week, but both were interesting for various reasons. The D5 champs took on URTT and got smoked here. Uncle Rico’s was one of the hottest teams ending last season and it seems like they’ve kept their good mojo going. The Freeballers came into the TSL this season with something to prove, and there’s no better way to make a statement than beating one of the league’s most dominant teams. However, The Angels are great because they find ways to win, and this was no exception. They took the win on what was essentially a walk off safety. That’s a pretty cool way to do it. Props to the Freeballers though, as they stood toe to toe with The Angels the entire day. It’ll be interesting to see if they continue their momentum.

 

This Week’s Game:

 

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+16) – If Buffalo Solar is to have their entire team here this week, I’d take the points. Caitlyn Mason is still the best girl you’ve never heard of, and Captain Dan has kept his constantly improving squad together. But, as we said before, Uncle Rico’s is on a long hot streak with their eyes on the D4 title. They’re clicking on all cylinders and unless something goes horribly wrong, expect Jon Senn’s team to make some noise all year. UNCLE RICO’S BY 13

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Scores:

Mountain Dew Me 53, Intentional Pounding 0

Pteratacos 36, TOX 29

Practice Squad 30, Cobblestone 0

Zack Attack 32, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 20

 

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES FOR MDM! They absolutely murdered what was left of 3^rd and Schlong without an ounce of remorse. D5 looks to be the perfect place for them as they continue to improve on the field. The Pteratacos were the last team to sign up for the TSL this offseason and I think they’ll be glad they did. After waiting an entire season to get their first win last year, the tacos grabbed it right off the bat from Topper’s other team. TOX put up a good fight, for sure, but there’s a better chance they go undefeated at the bar. And that’s a compliment. Practice Squad showed up with renewed focus this year and it showed as they trounced Cobblestone by 30. This was a game that they needed to just take care of business in if they want the D5 title, and they did just that. Zack Attack showed no issues in moving up from D6, taking care of the ILF, who one person told me “might have been better off starting in D6”. Here’s hoping they prove them wrong.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Zack Attack vs Mountain Dew Me (-10) – This line is just so off. Week 2 lines are always that way though. MDM had a great time in their 53-0 rout, but Zack Attack is much more talented than Intentional Pounding. This is a game I think people should try to watch, if we were allowed to watch games. Zack Attack is going to keep putting themselves on the map, I know it. ZACK ATTACK BY 3

 

Intentional Pounding vs Practice Squad (-21) – Easily the biggest line of the day, and it’s a slap in the face of IP. However, I can’t blame the Committee for this line. It seems so smart to just take 21 points, but Practice Squad is on a mission while IP is just trying to figure things out now. I can’t imagine that the Keller’s would let another beat down happen again so soon. I don’t think they’ll win, but I don’t think PS will cover. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 18

 

Pteratacos vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+2) – I already can not stand typing out ILF’s full name. The Pteratacos showed they’ve got some moxie this season, while ILF is a brand new team to the TSL. I think line is just about right in this scenario, and I think this will be a close game. There’s a clear line in D5 this season, and I feel like these two are on the same side of it. Give me the seasoned vets here. PTERATACOS BY 1

 

TOX vs Cobblestone (-15) – Yes, Darryl’s hair is still magical. It always will be. But his arm might be failing him. Speaking of arms failing them, Topper is the other side of this QB battle. It’s rare to say that the team with Topper on it has the QB advantage, but here we are. There HAS to be a Topper vs Darryl bet, right?? TOX is full of slower players that know what they’re doing, and faster players that are still learning. This game is a lot closer than the line says. TOX BY 4

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

PC Plumbing 24, Blitzkrieg 24

Graves Bros 34, Tater Tots 28

The Bambs 48, TMA 26

PC Plumbing 23, Lenny’s Ladies 17

Blitzkrieg 33, The BiPolar Express 16

 

Hey, how about Blitzkrieg? I’m not just saying this because Ethan wrote me a scathing email, bitter about the 30-1 odds given to them to win the title either. The metrics had BK as one of the worst teams in the league last season, and in the blink of an eye they’re 1-0-1 and looking good. PC Plumbing is also 1-0-1 as they showed a lot of promise as well, taking out Lenny’s Ladies along the way. Katie Swanson, by all accounts, is a stud. Lenny’s Ladies put up a good showing in their first game in the TSL. Jeff Easton filled in at QB this week and was very good. New jerseys, same results for TMA. The Bambs just ran by them again and again en route to victory. Graves Bros and Tater Tots had a hell of a game. Reports have said that the Tots are looking much improved over last season. You love to see it. Finally, BPX may be favorites to win the D6 title, but it’ll be hard to do if you get outclassed by Blitzkrieg like that, even if they are improved. It’s early though. D6, as always, is a cluster of craziness.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

TMA vs Lenny’s Ladies (-8) – The concern for TMA going into the season was how will their girls perform without Steph (Freeballers) and Drunk Meg (Tater Tots). After one week it seems like those concerns may already be put to rest. Three different people emailed me about how well Diana, Val, and newcomer Lauren played. Val had an especially great game, making a lot of catches, scoring a touchdown, and had constant pressure on the opposing QB including a sack or two. TMA will be just fine there, they just need to figure out that defense. Even so, there’s absolutely zero way they should be 8 point underdogs to a team that’s on their second career game. Lenny’s Ladies played very well against PC Plumbing and if not for an inability to score at the goal line more than once, they could’ve won. Joy Thompson had a pretty great interception for them as well. Either way, TMA should 100% feel slighted by the committee (and not me) because of this line, and it should propel them to victory. TMA by 10

 

Graves Bros vs Blitzkrieg (-1) – How about that for respect Ethan? The line shows Blitzkrieg as favorites for perhaps the first time in their history. They had a heck of a Week 1 and I have to take the time to shout out their rising star females, Alicia and Allie. The TSL’s newest A&A played very well in both games, especially Allie who had 3 touchdowns and 3 sacks in her first week ever in the TSL. That’s a hell of a debut, and if she keeps it up, expect D1-D3 teams to start scouting. Graves Bros held off a much better Tater Tots, and I still feel like they’re going to be a force to reckon with when the D6 smoke clears. I like Blitzkrieg (because I love anyone that emails me to talk smack), but 1-0-1 against PC Plumbing and a depleted BPX doesn’t show me enough just yet. Win this week and we’ll talk. GRAVES BROS BY 9.

 

PC Plumbing vs Tater Tots (+2) – This line feels right to me. This game is going to be close. There’s a lot of good matchups here, but I’m liking what I’m hearing so far about PCP. Yes, they’re PCP now. They have to know what they did there, right? Anyway, I still feel like the Tots should be bringing Tots to every single game (pAssless Chaps still owes them I believe, wherever they are), but either way, it’s good to see them competing. I know they’re getting better with each game, and it seems like the long layoff didn’t hurt Captain Dave’s squad at all. This will be a fun matchup. Drunk Meg vs Katie Swanson should be an excellent matchup as well. PC PLUMBING BY 6.

 

The Bambs vs The BiPolar Express (+10) – If The Bambs are planning to run wild over D6, Gordon’s Gals are going to need to game plan to slow them down. I’m not sure how successful they’ll be, but then again BPX shut The Bambs out 50-0 last season as well. I can’t take much stock in BPX’s loss last week when they didn’t have the full squad, so hopefully we’ll get a clearer picture on if they’re improving or not. The Bambs are going to need to get as many gender scores as they can, but I’m not sure if they have the girls to do just that. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 2.

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      Will the long layoff between games dampen the rivalries between Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown or Over Compensators and En Fuego? I really don’t think so. These teams bring out the best in each other and they’re going to be MUST SEE games. Sadly, we can’t have spectators to see games.

 

2.      Who has the most to prove this week? I think Morning Wood is a prime candidate for this, as they’ve largely been an afterthought in the most TSLers minds (Especially Topper’s) for their last few seasons, but they actually boast some talent.

 

 

3.      Which division is going to be the most competitive, top to bottom? I think the closest division this season is going to be D2. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if just about anyone finished atop the division this season, except maybe the Jabronies.

 

4.      WHERE IS B’S BROTHER? DID HE SURVIVE THE PANDEMIC?

 

 

5.      Who looks to be the best new team after one week? I’ll give credit where it’s due. I like what I’m hearing about both Scared Hitless and Freeballers. This means one of them will undoubtedly lose by 50 in their next game.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      Are you mad that I didn’t talk enough about your team or that I don’t know anything about them? Seriously, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I appreciate the referees and captains that are messaging me on Sunday to update me about the game. I can’t see what happens from Des Moines, and I rely on YOU more than ever to give information. I don’t have Lenny or Rameer anymore to give me the scoop on the games, or the fabricated drama.

 

2.      Great to be able to listen to the TSL podcast this morning at work. If you haven’t heard it, go listen. If you want to be on it find Topper, Joe K, Emily Curry, Jeff Krol, or whoever!

 

3.      I heard about the news from one league going the extra mile to call the health department to ruin our fun for some reason. Allegedly they think if you can’t play Saturdays, you can play for them on Fridays? I don’t understand why that’s the right move for them, but you can be assured that our plan follows the guidelines straight from New York State, and we’re doing everything they asked and then some. Don’t be worried. Topper has assured me.

 

 

4.      Speaking of other leagues, what a shame it was for another league to tell everyone “Game OFF” in an email this week just after the TSL started in what’s being reported by many as an attempt to retain teams for the spring. The messages Topper got from displaced players on Saturday were numerous. He feels bad for you guys, and there *MIGHT* be something he can do about it, but no guarantees just yet. And to the multiple people who came to us already, I’ve been told of your rave reviews of the TSL so far and thank you for noticing how great it can be here. We’re overjoyed to have you.

 

5.      I love the idea of Scotty D. writing an article. In fact, I think a few TSLers would be fantastic at it. If you’d be willing to do so, contact Topper, myself, or any member of the Board of Directors and maybe we can get that going!

 

6.      The greatest games you’ll never be allowed to watch this week are:

 

a.      10:00 – Peachy Platoon vs Slytherin That Endzone

b.      11:00 – Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy

c.       12:00 – Peachy Platoon vs Dilfs

d.      1:00 – Zack Attack vs Mountain Dew Me

e.      2:00 – En Fuego vs Overcompensators

f.        3:00 – En Fuego vs All We Do Is Quinn

 

7.      Special shout out to Coach Jay here. He’s really stepped up as Head Referee in Rameer’s place and is doing a great job. One ref already praised the fact that the weekly emails are about 10,000 words less than Rameer’s were.

 

8.      I really love seeing how well the teams that jump up a division do. I’ve got my eye on Zack Attack, En Fuego, Over Compensators and the Dil…er, nevermind. Can’t forget The Ange…nevermind again. Anyway, I’ll be watching Zack Attack, En Fuego, and the OC closely. Props again for being not scared.

 

9.      Congrats to the Rose Garden for still allowing us to get our drink on and adding that very convenient $2 Sausage or Hot Dog to be added to your order so you can buy alcohol.  I was told by the bar themselves how happy they were about us.

 

10.    We’ve harped on this before, but this is more important than ever. With the uncertainty in the games from week to week, your captains should be having the Telegram app so we can give the fastest updates possible. In fact, there’s talk it’ll be mandatory for captains soon. The quicker we can get you info the better here.

 

 

And with that, we’re on to week two. Keep taking care of each other. And its going to be hot out there, so wear your sunscreen. And your masks.

 

I’m still looking for the cut.

 

-GF

Something for the people

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Thursday, 30 April 2020 19:41

Published: Thursday, 30 April 2020 19:41

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 12848

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe,

 

This is not the article I wanted to write for this week. There’s nothing fun about what’s been happening around the world, as the COVID-19 Pandemic has disrupted so many things we hold dear. Birthdays, weddings, bar mitzvahs, quinceaneras, and everything in between have been put on hold, postponed, or relegated to weird drive by parades where you can kind of see your friends and family for a fleeting moment. It’s rough. Some of us are out of work and really need the distraction of social co-ed football, but alas, it’s not here yet. I myself have been furloughed, so there’s nothing to do but sit around my log cabin here in Des Moines, and wait it out. At the very least, for what it’s worth, you guys in Buffalo are much further along that we are here in Iowa. You’re close.

But this article was SUPPOSED to be about the first week of the Spring 2020 season. It was supposed to begin April 25^th. I would’ve loved talking about the new stand outs in the league, the surprises, the ridiculousness that I would’ve heard multiple stories about at the bar. It was a PERFECT day for football. Sunny, 60 degrees. Considering we’ve started the last couple of Spring sessions in the snow, how perfect would that have been? I would’ve definitely talked about how Lenny smiled upon us and gave us a perfect day for Week 1. I still think he caused the weather last Saturday, even knowing we couldn’t play, just for a laugh. It’s the same reason it was 78 degrees and beautiful here in Iowa last Saturday, and all I could do was some work around the cabin.

Anyway, I wanted to write SOMETHING. Sure, part of it is because I have nothing to do all week anymore, and maybe I need to be locked in a room away from the little godfathers here that really should be in school, but I also feel like I owe you guys something to check into. It’s been a bit quiet on the site, and I guess we could’ve done some very blatantly biased bar brackets or something to engage the TSL universe, but I we all have a lot more important things to think about I guess. However, perhaps I can inspire a little hope! You know why?

The Topper Sports Spring Session is STILL a go for Mid to Late May. Yes, I know, it can still change. Topper wanted that to be pretty clear. But we’re getting CLOSE guys and gals! Soon, you will hopefully descend upon the Rose Garden with the biggest smiles and happiest of attitudes. The race for social co-ed football immortality will once again begin anew. We’ll have new teams! Old faces in new places! You can bring your dog again! Just you know, the doggo has to be on a leash that’s held by an adult at all times. There’s even going to be an exciting, slight change to MY articles as well!

I’m happy to announce that I won’t be randomly making up the lines for your games anymore. I challenged the good people on the TSL QB Rankings committee to use their math, spreadsheets, and free time to give me much more accurate lines for the games. That means no more complaining! I’m kidding. You’re going to complain still, Blasé. But it could be a fun change to see some ‘accurate-ish’ lines. I’m also going to make it a point to email more captains this season about their teams. I obviously can’t see the games live, so the more info your team gives me, the better my articles can be. Some of you already email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. but really you all should start. Get your team its publicity! Give your stars some shout outs! If you’re not screaming about how your girl should be the D5 MVP, you shouldn’t be a captain anyway!

I wanted to take just a quick second though, and give a special shout out to my good friend Rameer. If you didn’t know, he’s going through a lot right now. Honestly, a lot doesn’t cover it. It’s not my place to rehash what is going on, so if you’re uninformed, please go read The Rant. Rameer does so much for this league, and when we lost Lenny, he really stepped it up even more. Sometimes he doesn’t get the credit he truly deserves. And now, there’s a chance we may not even see him until the Fall session. The league won’t be the same without Rameer scowling on the sidelines because someone did something stupid or snarling at the refs to get these games started on time. We love you Rameer. Know that.

But Godfather, you said this part was going to be inspiring and happy! I know, I know. Obviously the idea of not having Rameer around is terrible. (Okay, maybe not to ALL of you.) But here’s the silver lining. Yet again, the TSL universe stepped up. If you didn’t know, Coach Jay and Emily are going to be helping with some of Rameer’s duties in his absence. They’ll be the go to people for any ref scenarios that may arise. It’s so awesome to see that every single time this league looks like it might take a hit, more of the amazing TSLers step right up to keep the league they love up and running smoothly. Well, as smoothly as anything Topper related can be.

Another awesome thing? We have a record setting amount of people in Breakfast Club! Old faces and new faces have combined to get us 8 full teams! (Well, 7 full teams, and one team with Dave Walter, so they’ll always be short in the first half). The Draft was supposed to be taking place Friday Night, but we are going to hold off once again until Topper gets stuff figured out. Eight teams for Breakfast Club is fantastic. Another good thing? Two more weeks of not playing football means the fields won’t be destroyed ASAP! Topper told me the week leading up to last Saturday had snow and rain. The fields would’ve been soft as we trampled on them. Here’s hoping the nicer weather sticks around to keep them in top shape.

We’re so much closer to our Weekly Family Reunions. We’re getting through this together. I hear about the weekly league zoom meetings too. We have each other, like we always have. Football has always been about friends and family. Winning is nice too, of course. But so many of us have found boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, lifelong best friends, and families just from this league. It’s the thing we’re most proud of. All of YOU are the greatest thing about this league. You’re putting in the work. You’re staying safe. You’re doing what needs to be done so that sooner rather than later we can kick off another awesome season of the Greatest Social Co-Ed Football league in WNY, and probably the world. Just hold strong. Football is coming. We got this.

 

Keep your heads up.

 

-The Godfather

Week 1 2020

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 14 August 2020 11:23

Published: Friday, 14 August 2020 11:23

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 3516

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe! Hello!

 

We made it. I don’t know how we did it, but we’re here. The Topper Sports League is FINALLY a go! I know you’re beyond excited, as am I. I’ve always enjoyed hearing and writing about this league, and while the world went crazy, I didn’t get to write about our favorite sports league. It made an even more boring time worse!

 

But, none of that matters now. What truly matters is that on Saturday, August 15^th in the Year of Our Lord 2020, the TSL 2020 Season will begin. 44 teams will begin the race for social co-ed football immortality across six divisions. And it’s going to be a race unlike any other we’ve seen before. The absolute biggest reason this season will be different of course is NOT COVID-19.

 

Let’s face it, this season is going to be so weird without Rameer. Rameer was the guy who held this league together at times. He always made people feel included. That was his greatest strength. He talked to everyone, and really made them feel at home. The reason we’re such a family at the TSL is partly due to his example. Yes, a lot of TSLers have followed his lead in including as many people as possible, but it’ll never be the same as getting the “Rameer” experience.

 

It’s incredible that in two years, I’ve had to talk about such a HUGE loss for this league. I can’t express how badly we need to wrap Topper in bubble wrap and put him in a cryogenic freezer after football each week. We can thaw him out on Friday mornings. It’s the safest plan for the league.

 

As usual, just like we did last year, the TSLers have been stepping up to make sure this league can run as smoothly as possible. Coach Jay has taken over the title of Head Referee. He has some big shoes to fill, but I really think he’s a fantastic choice for this position. Anything I’ve ever heard of him has been positive. Topper has started the “TSL BOD”, which is a bunch of well known TSLers who have stepped up to help run the league. Unsurprisingly, Joe K and Val Bernal are a part of this team. Emily Curry, Jeff Krol, and, yes, even Travis have been included with this group in order to help things along. It takes about 3-4 “regular” TSLers to even come close to doing what a Lenny or a Rameer did for us, so try to cut them some slack as they try to enforce the new rules for the league.

 

Ah yes, the new guidelines. The TSL was not safe from COVID-19’s reach, and as a result, we had to change a lot of things in order for us to play this year. Your captain’s should’ve passed along the new guidelines, but if not, here’s a fun review of the new rules:

 

 

1.  logistics of how and when to arrive/play; we are asking that teams enter and exit the fields at designated areas.  The entrance will be located near Topper’s car(see attached field layout) the field exit will be located by the tree line furthest away from the bar. Teams may start to enter the fields 10 minutes before their game times, again practice social distancing, and only once the teams leave the playing fields may the next games teams enter the field.  Teams must setup behind opposite endzones.  After your game is over, we ask you to put on your mask, clean up your bags and trash, and exit the playing fields as soon as possible so that the next games can begin.

 

Yeah, all of this is a lot. Apparently, you’ll arrive at the fields (We only have four this season) and you’ll notice that they’re surrounded by orange snow fencing. You enter (with a mask on) by Topper’s car, and you’ll exit at a different point. You can’t hang around the fields. Once your game ends, mask up and get moving. I know it sucks for those post-game “How did we blow that game?” convos that Slytherin has to have, but it’ll have to be done in the parking lot.

 

 

2.  be patient with the safety guidelines, it’s the only way we can play ball; this is new to all of us, so please keep that in mind if things are a bit different this season.  Hopefully we can get through the full season together, but only if you and your teammates cooperate and follow our guidelines as well as those of the Angry Buffalo

 

This is pretty simple: If you choose to ignore this stuff, you won’t be allowed to play. It’s harsh, but this is a scenario where one person can mess everything up for the entire league. DON’T. BE. THAT. GUY. OR. GIRL.

 

3.  Everything is subject to change as we see what’s working and what’s not.  Again, this is new to all of us, so please let one of us know if there is an issue or concern.

 

I’ll stress this part here too: PLEASE tell us your ideas and what concerns you may have. The only bad ideas are the ones you don’t tell us. Or the ones that come from Joey Batts.

 

 

Those three rules are just the beginning. Here’s the Updated TSL Guidelines for the season. I’ll jump in with some emphasis where I think it’s needed:

 

Updated Guidelines

·        The TSL and The Angry Buffalo will have Covid-19 guidelines in place and posted at the fields, all players MUST have a mask, and follow the posted instructions on when they must wear their mask. There won’t be any tolerance for players and patrons who don’t follow the posted guidelines.

·        We have put together a group of volunteers to help manage the game day experience

o   Volunteers: Joe K, Valerie Bernal, Travis Clevenger, Jay Jaskier, Emily Curry and Jeff Krol

o   I have asked them to help make sure players are checking in, entering the fields and exiting the fields in the designated areas

o   They will be wearing orange shirts in honor of Rameer

o   They will be enforcing our guidelines.

o   Please do not be disrespectful to them, any rude behavior will not be tolerated.

·        Please make sure your players/teammates have masks or they will not be able to play.  Games will not be held up because players aren’t signing in on time

 

Like I said above, these TSLers are doing what they can to make sure things run smoothly. Don’t be dicks to them, other than, again, Travis. We understand that one. So yes, if you’re a super tough macho guy getting told what to do by Emily or Val, just listen to them. Please. Don’t make it a thing.

 

·        Prior to entering the fields, all players must sign into our Covid Tracing App.  There will be signs posted with a QR code that will take you to this form https://toppersports.com/covid/ where you and your teammates will have to sign in, and answer the questions.  It’s quick, and it’s necessary!!

 

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. MAKE SURE ALL OF YOUR TEAMMATES ARE AWARE.

 

·        Teams may start to enter the fields 10 minutes prior to their game time, so please make sure you have checked in on the app.

·        Teams will not be permitted to be on the sidelines, rather please setup behind the endzones.  Because of potential subbing issues, we have added a 4th time out for each team to use this season.

 

Please remember you’ll have four timeouts. You just know there’s going to be those LONG personnel changes.

 

·        Please practice social distancing: do not warn up where other teams have congregated, please wait for the teams playing prior to your game to leave the field before entering the field.

·        Masks must be worn when entering the fields.  There will be a designated field entrance area, and a designated field exit area.  Please use the entrance and exit areas as intended.  The field entrance will be located near my truck(for those of you who have played before) for those new to the league, look for the Silver ford explorer.

 

·        The Rosegarden has setup a lot of outdoor seating for us, please be patient with their staff, and understand that food must be ordered when purchasing alcohol.  Please follow the current restaurant covid policy’s, face mask must be worn until you are seated.  Do not table jump, meaning if you have friends at a table nearby, do not walk over to them without a mask. 

·        Unfortunately, we cannot have spectators at our fields.  Those of you who play on more than 1 team, we suggest that you bring a lawn chair and tailgate so to speak, or go up to the bar and grab a table.

 

This sucks, I know. A great part of the TSL is having our moms and dads, our other friends, and our kids there to watch us play. Please don’t bring them, don’t make it weird. Nobody wants to be the person who has to ask someone to remove their 3 year old from the premises.

 

·        There is expanded parking behind the bar, so please park up against the tree lines, and make sure to leave room for cars to get out. (see attached layout)

·        Dogs are permitted, must be accompanied by an adult and on a leash at all times, and obviously, not permitted in the bar area or the fields.

 

This is something we hoped to return this season, but it’s going to be much harder now with no spectators. So yes, if you’re going to bring Fido, please do, but make sure your teammates will be willing to hold onto the leash on the sidelines. And clean up after them please. Remember, there will be no tethering the dogs to a stake in the ground. Just really want to be clear here.

 

·        While playing you do not have to wear a mask, however we do encourage that gaiter scarfs be worn if at all possible.

 

·        I encourage all players download the telegram messaging app and join our channel, this is the fastest way for us to update everyone on league news and events

 

I know we pimp the telegram app every single season, but it’s very, very true: Getting the app will allow you to get the most up to date information for the league. It could save you a trip to the fields if say, your game gets rained out.

 

That just about covers everything. It’s going to be weird for everyone. Please keep an open mind and don’t have a freak out right away about the new rules. Topper is doing the best he can to make sure we can have some semblance of fun this year. Don’t ruin it. Work with us, not against us.

 

 

And now, what you’re really here for. SEASON PREDICTIONS!

 

These predictions aren’t going to be as dialed in as I like them to be. It’s a different world. So many players have changed teams or some teams have simply lost players who aren’t playing because of the virus, and that’s understandable. But, I get to pick who’s going to win anyway! Let’s get it going!

 

D1:

 

Public Enemy (2-1)

Eyes Downtown (2-1)

Marketing Mayors (4-1)

Tight Ends in Motion (8-1)

Gryffindor (10-1)

Why So Serious? (100-1)

 

Here’s the lowdown: As usual, it’s a two horse race between Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown. I had heard that Bobby Basketball upgraded his rosters a bit more in order to overcome PE once more. Public Enemy are the reigning champions, and from what I’ve been told they’ll have mostly everyone back. I had heard Pauly J is still on the fence about playing, and his loss would be huge for a Public Enemy team looking to repeat. Marketing Mayors come in where they always do: slightly underappreciated, but they can win the title if you sleep on them. They’re capable of putting it all together, as we’ve seen in the recent past, but Cory Turner gave me the inside scoop that they’re going to struggle a bit with the roster each week. Tight Ends is still the desperate team hoping to finally break into the upper echelon. They get better every season, but with Katie Salisbury sitting the season out, things looked bleak. Instead, TEIM has signed Free Agent Maggie LaMantia, who is hands down the best rusher in the league. Their biggest issue will once again be at QB, as Alex will be back under center. We’ve said it for years now, he doesn’t have the arm strength to put TEIM over the top. Perhaps he got incredibly strong during quarantine? Gryffindor must have some sort of revamped roster, but all I know for sure is that Travis has been added to the team. He’ll help Joey Batts and Co a bit, but is he enough to help them ascend to the top of the Division? We’ll find out. Finally, Why So Serious? comes in to the league and goes straight to D1. I love their moxie, but the only thing anyone could tell me about Pete’s new team is that they got beat up pretty badly in one of the winter tournaments, even losing to a Game On! team. They may be in over their head.

 

Prediction:  Eyes Downtown take the D1 title away from Public Enemy.

 

D2:

 

Peachy Platoon (3-1)

DIlf’s (4-1)

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (5-1)

Bullet Club (7-1)

Slytherin That End Zone (9-1)

Sticky Bandits (10-1)

Jabronies (12-1)

Morning Wood (20-1)

 

Here’s the lowdown: Peachy Platoon returns as the favorites this season. A big reason for that? They’re getting slightly older and in their prime while the other teams are pretty much getting slightly older and further away from their prime. Honestly, this division is VERY close among it’s best teams. Peachy may have lost Dave Wilbern, and a few other pieces, but they’ve already told me that they’ve replaced them with younger, better versions. They’re just always dangerous. The Dilf’s were too scared to make the jump to D1 after winning the D2 title last season, but they’ve added a lot of firepower anyway. They’re definitely favorites to repeat this time around, and adding speedster Casey Oliphant can only make things better for them. HOFBRUHAUS BUFFALO, Team Topper, is back but they’re all a little older and they’ve lost Pete to Why So Serious?. I haven’t heard if they added anyone to replace him. Bullet Club’s roster remains mostly the same, but they’ve added Glenn Bird for this season. Joe K has apparently gotten hurt, so one could say that’s an addition by subtraction as well. SlTE has always been a team that’s up and down. At their best, they can win the division. At their worst? They can lose any game by 30. They’re incredibly hard to predict with the inconsistency, which is why they find themselves smack in the middle here. Gary reached out to me to talk about the roster changes, and while they had some big losses, they patched those holes with Coach Jay, Taylor Pagano, Sal Gandalfo of “We Back” fame, and newcomer Chelsey Milleville. More importantly, Gary and Jess got married this offseason and she’s pregnant! Congrats guys. That’s awesome. The Sticky Bandits aren’t scared to move up when they win a title, and they find themselves in D2. Jeff Krol and the gang tend to be smarter than just about any team they’ve faced before. D2 is another animal though. Personally, I expect a solid .500 season from them in their first go. After a season of getting their feet wet, look out for them to contend in the Spring. The Jabronies have fared well since they’ve started in the league, but D2 might be a heck of a jump for them. They were a solid “middle of the road” team in D3 last time around, and perhaps they’re biting off more than they can chew here. Finally, Dave and Mo have left Peachy Platoon to raise Morning Wood from the dead. They were a bit overmatched in D2 last time they appeared in the TSL, so unless they got a complete roster overhaul, I’m not sure they’ll do much better than 2-7. Besides, it’s like one unidentified Topper said “Either way, they still have Mo, so it doesn’t matter.”.

 

Prediction: Dilf’s repeat, defeating Slytherin That Endzone in the final.

 

 

D3:

 

Frodo Swaggins (2-1)

All We Do Is Quinn (5-1)

Scared Hitless (7-1)

En Fuego (10-1)

Grey Hair – Don’t Care (12-1)

Vaspian (12-1)

The Untouchaballs (15-1)

 

Here’s the lowdown: This is Frodo Swaggins’ division to lose. Which means they probably will. Garrett, Scotty, and their merry band of bland guys who all look the same will be hard to beat, simply because they have the most time playing together. These guys and gals have been working hard to win a title, and they’ve had mostly the same team together for years now. It’ll be harder with two girls on the IR this season, but they have the best QB in the division easily. Quinn appears to be on their last legs, as they’ve had some big losses to their roster. Apparently they’re getting the band back together (or what’s left of it) for a final run. They’re still talented, so they can take this for sure. If I have my information right, Scared Hitless and Grey Hair are two sides of the split of End Game. Sources say that Scared Hitless got most of the talent though. That remains to be seen, but Hitless vs Hair might be a great grudge match. En Fuego is in D3 for some reason. When we last saw them, they were losing to Cobblestone in the D5 playoffs and crying about it. Somehow that warrants a jump to D3. These are strange times we’re living in. I admire Blasé’s trust in his team, but I don’t see them dominating like they did before. If anything, it seems like they’re avoiding getting beaten up on by the Angels and Stunts. Vaspian was a great addition to the league, and I’m thrilled they’ve returned. They still have a bit to work out though, so I don’t think a championship run is in them. And honestly, I don’t know who The Untouchaballs are. They could be amazing. They could be terrible. We’ll find out.

 

Prediction: Scared Hitless upsets Frodo Swaggins in the title game.

 

 

D4:

 

The Angels (2-1)

Cunning Stunts (3-1)

Over Compensators (6-1)

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (7-1)

Buffalo Solar Solutions (9-1)

Freeballers (12-1)

Family Feud And Some Dudes (25-1)

 

Here’s the lowdown: The Angels come into to defend their D4 title, which is surprising because you’d have thought they’d go to D3. You’ll notice they’re not “Matty’s” this season. Matty Ice won’t be gracing the TSL with his presence this season, for reasons that have yet to be explained to me. Anyway, the front runners that the Angels are, they just went out and got Bobby McConnell to QB the team. I’m pretty sure they’re almost completely made up of D1 players now, yet it seems like we’re going to stay in D4 for some reason. That’s pretty weak. The Stunts are the favorites to beat the Angels, because well, they’re the only ones that have really done it in the last few seasons. No idea who is in or out for the Stunts this season. The OC come in hot after dominating everyone in D5 last season. Larry is a stud at QB, and it’s going to be awesome to watch these guys take on better competition. They just keep getting better. Uncle Ricos was a ridiculously hot and cold team last season. If they can ride out the hot streak they ended last season on, they can take this title. Buffalo Solar comes in with largely the same roster they had last time out. Captain Dan is nice enough to email me to give some info, and it seems they’ve added another female to really help them compete. No pressure there, Kayla. They’re going to be missing a ton of people each week, so look for them to be a playoff sleeper after maybe not the best regular season. The Freeballers are the creation of 40 year plan guy, who proceeded to separate from 3^rd and Schlong. This is going to be a mixed bag of players who tend to think they’re much better than they are. It’s really going to come down to QB play and whatever females 40 YPG paid to play for them. I think they’re the ones that stole Steph Czaja from TMA, but I’m not 100% sure. Finally, FFASD is a team I yet again know nothing about. As a result, they get horrible odds until we get some data on them.

 

Prediction: The Angels stay the big fish in the small pond, defeating the Stunts yet again.

 

 

D5:

 

The Practice Squad (4-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (4-1)

TOX (6-1)

Zack Attack (7-1)

Intentional Pounding (9-1)

Cobblestone (11-1)

Mountain Dew Me (12-1)

Pink Pteratacos (20-1)

 

Here’s the Lowdown: I think just about any team can win this division. I know the odds suggest otherwise, but it’s a lot closer that it seems. The Practice Squad feels like it’s finally their turn, after being close to a championship the last few seasons but just barely not being able to get the job done. ILF comes in with some fanfare, as it seems that come from the Sticky – Tight Ends – Jabronies mold, which means at the very least, they know how to play the game. TOX is the fun team Topper threw together, which should remind us of the last few D5 teams he used to trot out. This team should be full of league icons. Zack Attack ran through D6 last season, so it only makes sense they move up to D5. I think they’ll fit right in here. Intentional Pounding is what’s left of our lovely friends from 3^rd and Schlong. Team Keller is strong here, but I don’t yet know who they added to get this team to the top of the division. Cobblestone, as far as I know, returns everyone from the team that upset En Fuego in the last playoffs. Mountain Dew Me is right where they need to be in D5, as they bit off more than they could chew in D4 last season. They weren’t terrible last season, but dropping a division while they figure things out a bit more really feels like the right move. Finally, we have the Pteratacos who, I think I was told, were the final team to register. I’m glad they’re back, but here’s hoping they added some players from last season’s team where they may have been the worst team in the entire league.

 

Prediction: Zack Attack defeats Practice Squad for the title.

 

 

D6:

 

TMA (4-1)

The BiPolar Express (7-1)

Graves Bros. (8-1)

The Bambs (9-1)

PC Plumbing (10-1)

Tater Tots (13-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (22-1)            

Blitzkrieg (30-1)

 

Here’s the lowdown: Well, I say this a lot, but this division is TMA’s to lose. TMA should’ve moved up to D5 for this season, but it appears that they’ve lost some female firepower. Steph left for greener pastures, and then word dropped recently in TSL circles that team icon Drunk Meg isn’t playing either. TMA has always relied on how strong all 4 girls are, and now they’re a bit weaker. They’re going to lean on Diana Bernal and Val Testa more than ever this season, which isn’t a bad thing. However, they still boast a very good roster, even with Prim, and they’re talented enough to overcome the losses. As always with TMA, they just need to get out of their own way. The BiPolar Express comes in with consistency within their roster. Gordon’s girls have been getting better and better as the seasons have gone on, and they were in the Final 4 last season. The biggest hurdle for the team was when they would lose 4 girls from the lineup when they played for TMA. With the recent roster changes, that’s lessened. Graves Bros was just behind the leaders last season, and another season under their belts can only lead to improvements. They went head to head with BPX, and with TMA changing it up a little bit, AND with the Passless Chaps nowhere to be found, AND with Zack Attack moving up, well, they absolutely have a shot at this title. The Bambs (2.0) come back yet again, and its just great to have a league staple playing. It’s weird without them. PC Plumbing is a new-ish team but with Payton Spinelli running the team, that means we’ll probably see some form of The Replacements. The Tater Tots return and well, I don’t know if they got any better or not. Rumors have it that Drunk Meg has joined her beau in orange, which is a great improvement to a team that was semi-devoid of star power. Lenny’s Ladies is our newest gender team that was supposed to be QB’d by Joe K, but his offseason injury means that he’ll be on the sidelines. Who QB’s the team from here? What’s important, however, is that we have another gender team showcasing the league’s fantastic women that the TSL is lucky to have. Finally, Blitzkrieg returns! They had a very rough go last season, but it was their first one together. Team Captain Alex emailed me and immediately declared that Tom Hineman is *THE* best deep threat in D6. I look forward to see if they can prove it.

 

Prediction:  The BiPolar Express takes the D6 title, winning over Graves Bros in the final.  

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. WILL B’S BROTHER GRACE US WITH HIS PRESENCE AND TAKE EVERYONE’S TEMPERATURES? We can only hope.

 

2. How smoothly will everything go with the new COVID guidelines? I’d actually wager that we’re so excited to even be playing that people will follow the rules as best as they can.

 

3. How quickly will the bar empty out? I just have this feeling that people are going to leave a lot earlier than usual with all of the new rules in place. Remember, if you go to the bar to get your buckets, you’ll need to order food apparently. That’s not how Iowa works, but it seems New York is stupid.

 

4. How many of my predictions are going to look bad after Week 1? Probably all of them. This isn’t easy.

 

5. How weird are the fields going to feel without Rameer stomping around keeping an eye on everyone? I can’t even begin to think about how weird it’s going to be for everyone Saturday.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. I think the Angels really wussed out here and they should’ve gone to D3. Weak.

 

2. The TSL just won’t be the same without Matty Ice being around either. Not seeing A&A on the standings page is just so weird.

 

3. I hope everyone that signed up for Breakfast Club still wants to do it next Spring. We had the most sign ups ever for it, and it was going to be awesome!

 

4. I’ve said this 100 times, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOLLOW THE NEW GUIDELINES AND DON’T RUIN THIS FOR EVERYONE.

 

5. It’s early, but here are the top games for each game time:

               10:00 – Uncle Rico’s vs Over Compensators

               11:00 – Slytherin That End Zone vs Jabronies

               12:00 – Practice Squad vs Cobblestone

               1:00 – TMA vs The Bambs

               2:00 – Zack Attack vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

               3:00 – Dilf’s vs Sticky Bandits

 

6. The weather looks pretty good! 86 degrees and only a slight chance of a thunderstorm!

 

7. If you want to get your team noticed, or have any questions for me, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Give your team a shout out! I emailed all of the captains already looking for some scoops.

 

8. I know, you were probably looking for some game predictions, but currently the TSL Power Rankings team has yet to send the lines to me. Also, it was more important to stress the new guidelines. Don’t worry, they’ll be back next week.

 

9. Its EXTREMELY important for everyone on your team to complete the TSL COVID Tracing App prior to your game at the fields.. Go to Toppersports.com/covid to fill it out. If you don’t, you can’t play. Please make sure your entire team does it.

 

10. This will easily be the weirdest season we’ve ever faced. With so many guidelines we’ve added, and COVID security measures put in place, it may not feel exactly like a TSL season, but it’s something. Be good to each other. Wear sunscreen. We’ll all be thinking of Rameer, and Lenny, when this season kicks off. Let’s make this the best we possible can.

 

I’ll be in the cut. Wherever that is.

 

-The GF.

Championship Saturday Thoughts, Picks & Predictions

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 25 October 2019 10:02

Published: Friday, 25 October 2019 10:02

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 6762

 

It’s pretty safe to say that was one of the wildest Saturdays in a long time.

 

I tried to warn you. There is no way that the calamity that is the Race for Social Co-ed Football Immortality ever goes “chalk”. We have blowouts, upsets, comebacks, buzzer beaters, and so much more, that our first round of the playoffs is ONLY rivaled by the first two days of the NCAA March Madness tournament. There are cinderellas and bracket busters all over the place, across all of our divisions. It is, in a word: Exciting.

 

A typical Saturday for me isn’t crazy exciting. I do a few things around the cabin, maybe run a few errands. Really fun stuff, I know. But this past weekend, I found myself on my phone, getting information on the games in the playoffs and really, really wishing I was there in person.

 

It started early. 9:41 to be exact. (Remember, Des Moines is an hour behind those of you in Buffalo). It was one simple email to start.

 

“Puckett is beating up on No Punt Intended pretty good. Looks like the upset of the day happened early.”

 

Naturally, this piqued my interest and I asked for more information. And, I got it. While I meant more about the Puckett/NPI game, another email came in a little later:

 

“Gryffindor just beat Marketing Mayors!!”

 

I fist pumped, not going to lie. Sorry Mayors, it isn’t you, it’s the story. And then another email 3 minutes later.

 

“Bullet Club came back from down like 20 points in the second half to beat SITE”

 

All of that action, and it was only the first group of games. And they were emails from three different people. The TSL was watching, and magic was happening. I was riveted, getting information about these games about this football league that I love that are states away. Before I knew it, the following emails piled up:

 

“I think you cursed Quinn lol. Sticky is pounding them.”

“EN FUEGO LOST TO COBBLESTONE!!!!”

“Dilf’s beat A&A”

“Tots defended against Fries much better this time, but still lost”

“GO DARRYL”

“End Game looked really good against Jabronies, won easily”

 

So much fun happened on the fields, and apparently some fireworks happened off them as well. This is what we play for. THIS IS WHAT SOCIAL CO-ED FOOTBALL IS ALL ABOUT!

 

We’re down to our final 24 (Wait no, 25 still) teams. Who among them will take home the championship? Who will walk into the Topper Sports League Banquet on January 3^rd (mark your calendars now) as the best of the best? Let’s try to figure it out. . .

 

D1:

Last Week’s Score:

(5) Gryffindor 36, (4) Marketing Mayors 28

 

Odds to Win The Championship:

Eyes Downtown 2-1

Public Enemy 3-1

Tight Ends In Motion 8-1

Gryffindor 15-1

 

Gryffindor got a win, and it was over the defending champions! There will be a new champion in the TSL’s highest division.

 

(1) Eyes Downtown vs (5) Gryffindor (+8)

Past Games: Eyes Downtown 48, Gryffindor 45

Eyes Downtown 35, Gryffindor 0

Okay, it was fun while it lasted. Gryffindor got their much needed win against a banged up Mayors squad, but now they’re going up against the main event here. Eyes Downtown has been the cream of the crop in the division this entire season, and while that means NOTHING in the playoffs, ED just feels destined to play in the D1 final this season. Expect to see more of the 48-45 game than the 35-0 game here, but I’ll take the division’s top ranked offense over it’s lowest ranked defense anytime. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6

 

(2) Public Enemy vs (3) Tight Ends In Motion (+3)

Past Games: Public Enemy 31, Tight Ends In Motion 22

 

Somehow, in a division of 5 teams, these two have only played once so far. That can’t be right. It doesn’t matter. Tight Ends boasts the division’s top ranked defense AND its second ranked offense. (PE IS 2^nd and 3^rd) They have the greatest point differential by far. So why aren’t they favored? Shouldn’t they win this game? Well, a deeper look at things shows us that TEIM went 0-2 against PE and Eyes Downtown, while they beat up on A&A, Gryffindor (3 times), and played the Mayors 3 times as well. The stats are a bit skewed here. That isn’t to say TEIM isn’t a great team. They are, and they keep getting better, but for now, they’re still relegated to “little brother” status with the big boys. This wasn’t Public Enemy’s finest season, as they’ve struggled through some attendance issues, and I think by the final whistle on Saturday, people are really going to remember just who they are. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 10

 

So, who wins? Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy is what I’m going with. These two teams hate each other, and it’s going to be awesome to watch them battle for the D1 title. By the time the smoke clears, I really think we’ll see Public Enemy finish the job that they couldn’t last season.

 

D2:

Last Week’s Scores:

(5) Bullet Club 45, (4) Slytherin That End Zone 42

(6) Dilfs 27, (3) A&A 22

(1) HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 24, (7) Energy Buff 14

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 3-1

Peachy Platoon 5-1

Bullet Club 15-1

Dilfs 16-1

 

Things were a bit crazy in D2, that’s for sure. Team Topper handled Energy Buff, but still only won by 10 points. Bullet Club “upset” SITE, but I hardly ever consider a 4-5 matchup an upset. The story here was that SITE went up big early, before blowing leads of 24 and 22 points in the second half. Newman wasn’t supposed to show up, and then he did. Team Captain Gary took it upon himself to email me his side of what happened in this game, and he wasn’t happy with the Offensive Pass Interference call that took 6 points off the board for SITE, and gave BC the ball back for their final, game winning drive. He also told me to give shout outs to his lesser known players that are pretty great. Chris Shriver was just nominated for an award (Go read The Rant) at this year’s banquet, so he’s getting noticed. I’ve mentioned Dawson being important before, but a shout out to the “strong, big bodied, quick bald guy with the fantastic beard” named Lex too. There aren’t enough people named Lex in the world, so he’s easily the third most important Lex of all time, falling just behind Luthor and Luger. The Dilfs and A&A played a low scoring, weird game that was apparently 9-7 at halftime. The Dilfs scored right after halftime and before you knew it, A&A just couldn’t catch up to them. This all leads us to:

 

(1) Peachy Platoon vs (6) Dilfs  (+9)

Past games: Peachy Platoon 31, Dilfs 29

 

These two teams played a heck of a game during the regular season. Now I’m hearing that the Dilfs are trotting out some “people who have been on the roster but haven’t actually played any games” heroes (hi Josh!) to help them in the playoffs. It’s legal, so there’s nothing wrong with it. The Platoon may still be reeling a little bit as Dean was seen on the sidelines last week still in some sort of hand contraption, so he’s still hurt. Travis is entering “Good Travis” and “Bad Travis” zones with his QB play, so a lot of this game will depend on if Dubey shows up, and if he doesn’t, which Travis plays. I still think Peachy is going to be just too fast for the Dilfs in this one, and they’ll walk away with this one. PEACHY PLATOON BY 7

 

(2) HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs (6) Bullet Club (+12)

Past games: Team Topper 28, Bullet Club 6

 

The last game these two teams played tells us nothing, as it was the “Joe K had to play QB” game. If there’s anything here is that HOFBRAUHAUS only scored 28 last time they played, so if Good Ricky comes to play, maybe there’s a puncher’s chance for BC. Energy Buff also held Team Topper to a low 24 points last week, so maybe Topper’s 62 year old shoulder is finally giving out on him? Good Ricky or not, I can’t expect BC to keep pace with HB on the scoreboard here. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 10

 

So who wins? Team Topper has the division’s best offense, and second best defense. Peachy is the opposite, being best defense and second best offense. They have the same point differential. This game is going to be VERY, VERY close, but at the end of the day, look for Team Topper to pull this one out.

 

D3:

Last Week’s Scores:

(8) Puckett All-Stars 36, (1) No Punt Intended 8

(2) Frodo Swaggins 44, (7) Vaspian 18

(6) Sticky Bandits 33, (3) All We Do Is Quinn 7

(5) End Game 39, (4) Jabronies 12

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

Frodo Swaggins 4-1

End Game 6-1

Sticky Bandits 6-1

Puckett All-Stars 8-1

 

Yes everyone, it’s THAT close. Puckett walked right up to the number one seed for the second straight season and smacked them in the mouth. It wasn’t even a close game, Puckett won this handily. Yes, NPI didn’t have Kyle at QB or Elena at all. But that doesn’t excuse losing by 28 points. I talked a bit with Ashley, the PAS captain. I wanted to know who the big stand outs are on this largely unknown team. She proceeded to tell me that there wasn’t one person to really name. That everyone knows what to do, and does their job. There’s a reason this team has won FOUR championships. (Don’t worry, I forgot they changed their name a few times too). She did say TJ the QB is CLUTCH in the playoffs though, and I mean, she’s not wrong. Frodo came out and beat up on Vaspian, making them the only “top” seed to move on in D3. That gives them the best odds to walk off the fields as D3 champs, but NOT SO FAST. Sticky Bandits and End Game are still alive in these playoffs. End Game manhandled the Jabronies in round 1, and they’ve been arguably the hottest team in the entire league in the second half of the season. Sticky is a much different animal. They’ve been messing around a bit at QB this season, largely due to the hand (finger?) injury to Alex. While most of the league assumed they’d go back to Mike Thomas for the playoffs (he was clearly the better QB between himself and Rags this season), it was never actually a given according to Jeff Krol (yeah, I emailed a few people this week, deal with it) who said it was never a guarantee (He would go on to say that Rags was an extremely effective QB before his injuries and that he will be again soon) that Mike Thomas starting in the playoffs as Sticky may have been “willing to take a beating to some degree” in the regular season as a way to figure out the optimal lineup for the games that matter. Well, we’re here.

 

(2) Frodo Swaggins vs (8) Puckett All-Stars (+6)

Past Games: Frodo 30, Puckett 20

 

Newsflash: This game is going to be a lot closer than you think it will be. Frodo has the, well, Swagger for this one. They know they got lucky with Quinn and NPI getting booted from the playoffs. Say what you will about Scotty’s off the field game, but his on the field game is very strong. He may not be as consistent as he’d like, but he’s one of the league’s best new QBs, regardless of anything else. Personally, I’m rooting for Puckett. It’s such a good story, and I won’t lie, the was Ashley spoke of her team to me this week won me over. They’re close knit, and that’s what we’re all about here in the TSL. This one hurts, but FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3

 

(5) End Game vs (6) Sticky Bandits (EVEN)

Past Game: Sticky Bandits 25, End Game 8

 

So, Sticky won the only meeting between these teams. It was much earlier in the season however, and it was before things on End Game seemed to really click. (Or they’re all using steroids and they finally kicked in midway through the season) Mr. Krol really raved about his safety combo of Dave Baker and Brian (I want to say Stevens?) and how hard they make things on opposing offenses. I’m hoping End Game can figure that out quickly or it may be a long day for them. The teams have similar offenses from the regular season (although Thomas at QB improves those numbers) but while Sticky’s defense has been good, End Game’s was still 2^nd in the league and they proceeded to shut down the Jabronies last week. This is as even as a game can get, and the one I’d want to watch for sure. STICKY BANDITS BY 1

 

So who wins? The fans. Honestly when I make these predictions I really hope to go 1-1, but theres a 50% chance I went 0-2. This division was the absolute best top to bottom all year, and they’re going to go out with a bang. I will be 0% surprised at who wins this championship. All are deserving. But I have to pick one, and I truly believe that we’ll be partying down Main Street in Sticky Nation when all is said and done.

 

D4:

Last Week’s Scores:

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 29, Full Throttle 6

Buffalo Solar Solutions 38, Mountain Dew Me 27

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

Matty’s Angels 2-1

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 4-1

Cunning Stunts 5-1

Buffalo Solar Solutions 10-1

 

Not too much to see here this week. Uncle Rico’s has continued their run of dominance with a relatively easy win over Full Throttle. Buffalo Solar, however, had to earn their win against Mountain Dew Me. After talking to Dan, the captain of BSS, he let me know that this game was very close, and that MDM was winning this game halfway through the second half. A lot of that was their inability to stop the deep ball, and then they had issues with drops as well. After some adjustments, they clearly found the end zone a bit more.

 

(1) Matty’s Angels vs (4) Buffalo Solar Solutions (+8)

Past Games: Matty’s Angels 54, BSS 12

BSS 46, Angels 43

 

Let’s see here. BSS beats the Angels. The Angels get mad at beat the crap out of BSS for revenge. That was with Bobby at QB I believe, but either way, I expect the game to be closer than a blowout. We all know the Angels are great, etc, etc. They obliterated a whole bunch of teams this year. But BSS DID beat them in an even game. One of those reasons? Brett Cole. He’s “generally good for one or two picks a game and wins contested catches on offense regularly”. Another reason? Mallory, the unsung hero on defense. She just sells out on every play. The Angels are going to be pretty fresh and really ready to regain their title. Matty won’t be dying of sunstroke this time around, and he doesn’t have 15 games to play. As a result, Its just too hard to bet against them. MATTYS ANGELS BY 7

 

(2) Cunning Stunts vs (3) Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (EVEN)

Past Games: Cunning Stunts 52, URTT 27

URTT 62, Stunts 44

URTT 54, Stunts 53

 

Well, the first time these two met, the Stunts smacked around Rico’s pretty easily. And then the entire season changed for the Time Travelers. Since then, they’re on a incredible 6-0 run, with again, two wins over the Stunts. This game is only even because of respect for the Stunts, but they’re only 2-3 in their last 5, and both wins were by a point a piece. I can’t exactly say that they’re lighting the league on fire. I’m going with the hot hand here. UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS BY 2

 

So who wins? I don’t think we’ll be getting a gender battle rematch, even if that’s what I know the Angels are hoping for. With this year’s D4, we essentially saw every matchup multiple times. However, we didn’t get to see the Angels take on the “new” Rico’s. This is a game that you should bet the over, even when it’s set at 85 points. I think the Angels stand tall in the end, however.

 

D5:

Last Week’s Scores:

(1) Over Compensators 38, (8) Pink Pteratacos 26

(7) Cobblestone 26, (2) En Fuego 23*

(3) Hung Buffalo 47, (6) Come From Behind 12

(4) Practice Squad 40, (5) Hope N Ruin 30

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

Over Compensators 2-1

En Fuego 4-1

Hung Buffalo 8-1

Practice Squad 9-1

Cobblestone 50-1

 

Yes, there’s 5 teams remaining. And no, I don’t get to give you game predictions because we have no idea who’s playing who yet. Why? Well, as anyone in the league with a pulse will tell you, we had some, um, issues in the original En Fuego/Cobblestone game. Cobblestone beat En Fuego on their own. Apparently, there was a few roster checks that got thrown around and “yada yada yada”, now we have a rematch. I’m not entirely sure it’s fair to Cobblestone and their awesome victory to be taken away, but I’m not the powers that be, and quite frankly, it doesn’t matter what I (or any of us) think in this scenario. The bottom line is that for Cobblestone or En Fuego to win the title, they need to win three straight games. The OC cruised to a win against the Pteratacos, nothing too special there. Hung Buffalo blew out Come From Behind by 35 points. Practice Squad defeated Hope N Ruin in a closer game than the others, obviously.

 

So, who wins? The truth is that this was always meant to be The OC vs En Fuego. And then En Fuego lost, and in a last ditch effort to save their season, they got an extra life. Now the division has learned that they can be beaten with some man coverage and a little bit of magic. I’d love to see Hung Buffalo or Practice Squad take them out before they even get to the finals, just for the story. But this season has been mainly about how dominant the OC was. They’re my pick to win this one.

 

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

(1) Zack Attack 26, (8) Wild Oak Beard Co 20

(2) TMA 22, (7) The Replacements 21

(3) pAssless Chaps 23, (6) Tater Tots 20

(5) The Bi-Polar Express 44, (4) Graves Bros 38

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

TMA 3-1

pAssless Chaps 4-1

Zack Attack 4-1

The Bi-Polar Express 12-1

 

Zack Attack survived Wild Oak Beard Co, pulling out the victory late in the game and avoiding being another 1 seed to lose on Day 1. The pAssless Chaps got a much better game out of the Tots than they did the last time these two met. The Tots were driving at the end of the game to pull out the win, but the Chaps got a nice pick in the end zone to end the game. Bi-Polar Express got by Graves Bros on the strength of Tommy Hughes’ arm. Just kidding. It’s their great group of girls who truly know how to ball out, while I had heard that Katie Swanson, the Graves Bros’ best girl (and maybe player) missed out. Never a good recipe for beating a gender team. TMA squeaked a win out against The Replacements, but they were going to have to forfeit anyway.

 

(1) Zack Attack vs (5) The Bi-Polar Express (+8)

Past Games: Zack Attack 27, Bi-Polar Express 24

 

The last time these two met, it started BPX’s downwards spiral in the second half of the season. Zack Attack won, but not by much. These two teams are pretty close in offense (ZA 1^st, BPX 3^rd) and defense (4^th and 5^th). Zack Attack didn’t look wonderful against WOBCO, and they may be the weakest 1 seed (relative to their division) we have this session. However, BPX is at a disadvantage with having to play at the same time as TMA (the whole losing 4 players things). I would’ve picked BPX at full strength, but the roster losses may be too much. ZACK ATTACK BY 7

 

(2) TMA vs (3) pAssless Chaps (EVEN)

Past Games: pAssless Chaps 26, TMA 18

 

Let’s get ready to fire up this rivalry. These two teams don’t like each other very much, and there’s nothing quite like adding in the playoffs to throw some more gas on that fire. The Chaps beat TMA earlier in the season, and there’s good reason to believe that this battle is between the top two teams in the division. As long as Coach Jay can keep on truckin’ with the offense, the Chaps can win the whole thing. But, ‘can’ and ‘will’ are two different things. TMA has just FELT like the team of destiny in D6 all season. They have the best defense in perhaps the entire league, and when they’re at full strength its hard to stop their offense as well. If they can just stay out of their own heads and just play their game, they’ll be battling for the title. TMA BY 3

 

So who wins? I think the “real” championship game is the 2v3 matchup between TMA and the Chaps. I like Zack Attack, and they’re welcome for the extra motivation I’m tossing their way right now, but I just feel like the entire season has been about TMA finally getting on the same page and getting the pieces they needed to win it all. The Rose Garden will be rocking, and hopefully the moonshine will be flowing when TMA takes this home.

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. How’s that weather looking? Too many of our Fall Sessions have ended with Championship Saturday having the worst kind of weather. Downpours, snow, wind…you name it, it’s happened. Yet, through the magic of Lenny Alba, you guys are looking at 56 degress and mostly cloudy. It’s not the warmest it could be, but it’ll be beautiful.

 

2. What’s the Game of the Day? Well, there’s going to be a few slobberknockers for sure, but I think the matchup between End Game and Sticky Bandits is going to be awesome in D3.

 

3. Could En Fuego or Cobblestone really win three games in a row? I don’t believe that Cobblestone would be able to win three in a row. They won’t have any breaks either. En Fuego is a great team themselves, but they may find themselves having trouble with Hung Buffalo in the second game when they’re looking past them at the OC.

 

4. What’s going to be the biggest upset to look out for? Puckett can upset Frodo. They’re just masters of slaying top seeds. Look out for Buffalo Solar to shock the Angels too.

 

5. Do you think it’s okay to ask for a Roster Check? Of course it is, it’s in the rules. Personally, I grew up playing sports saying I’d play the best team someone else could put out there. But there’s NO REASON to give someone grief if they ask for a check. When TMA asked at the beginning of their game, a few sideline watchers snickered and discouraged it, but they were well within their rights. That’s the proper way to do it by the way, ask DURING the game, or at least just before or after it. Everyone giving crap to En Fuego shouldn’t be, but I understand why asking a few hours later was looked down upon.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

1.  Here are your “Games of the Day” best viewing schedule:

               a. 10:00 – Public Enemy vs Tight Ends In Motion – Field 2

               b. 11:00 – Watch the D1 final on Field 1

               c. 12:00 – End Game vs Sticky Bandits – Field 2

               d. 1:00 – D3 Final on Field 1

               e. 2:00 – D4 Final on Field 1

               f.  3:00 – D6 Final on Field 3

               g. 4:00ish – Costume Bowl – Field ?

 

2. That’s right, don’t forget that the Costume Bowl is happening sometime around 4-4:30! Come watch the fun, or BRING YOUR OWN COSTUME AND JOIN IN!!! It’s a hoot, and it’ll be a great way to say goodbye to the season.

 

3. JANUARY 3^RD IS THE TENTATIVE DATE FOR THE BANQUET. PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

 

4. So many people who haven’t played in Breakfast Club have asked about it this session. Let’s hope they keep that enthusiasm when Topper starts looking for sign ups in March.

 

5. I’d be willing to bet lots of money that there will be 1, maybe 2, TSL Wine Tours in the offseason.

 

6. Alternate Universe Championship Picks: Eyes Downtown, Peachy Platoon, Frodo Swaggins, Uncle Rico’s, Practice Squad, The Bi-Polar Express.

 

7. When you’re walking around the fields this week, give Topper a hug, and then IMMEDIATELY ASK HIM FOR PICTURES OF HIS ADORABLE NEW PUPPY JACKSON! He’s only 4 months old, and he’s cute as a button! Congrats to Uncle Topper, and welcome to the TSL Jackson!

 

8. Would you be interested in a TSL poker tournament this offseason? If so, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

 

9. I’ll be sending an end of the season survey out to team captains in the next week or two. I’d really like a lot of the league’s feedback on a few things. Be sure to fill it out!

 

10. I’ve been writing this article for way too many years now, but I still love it. I had such a great time talking to new people about their teams this week, and I really hope all of you enjoy reading this as much as I’ve love writing it.

 

Good luck to everyone this weekend. Be safe. Wear sunscreen. Check Rosters. Enjoy.

 

-GF