Week 5 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 17 September 2021 14:46

Published: Friday, 17 September 2021 14:46

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 6337

There’s nothing quite like the midseason of the TSL.

Teams are really rounding into form as true contenders, while others that began the season with championship dreams are starting to recognize their shortcomings might be too much to overcome. Either way, the competitive juices are flowing and things are just starting to get interesting, at least on my end.

This week the TSL Power Rankings committee, hot off their successful “Top 10 Female Receivers” in the league list, decided to dip right back into the well with the males, expanding it to Top 20. This is genius, because with the lone exception of the “over the hill with a few extra pounds” Mike Boccio, the entire league is complaining about their ranking. And for some, they have VERY good reason to do so!

Take Chris Nelson, who was ranked #2 overall, but should STILL feel slighted that he’s not #1. But what about his own teammate Ralph Finney? You’re telling me Ralph, who some feel is the best player on his own team (and thus, better than Chris) is only #7? Amazing miss there by the committee.

Drew Colosimo at #5 is hilarious when he’s yet to bring Topper a championship, and he couldn’t even help Vaspian to wins when he was on that team. Fun Fact: Sticky hasn’t won a game since adding him either.

Dave Baker gets by on name recognition nowadays, as some of the joint supplements he takes during the week actually expired before half of the Top 20 were even born.

Ben Stack “appeared on everyone’s list” but has never given his teams anything more than a migraine and a .500 or lower record.

Pete Nguyen is just fantastic and should be Top 5 easily. He’s not only the top Asian in the league, he’s also the top Pete. The disrespect here is tremendous.

Didn’t Paul Johnson retire 4 years ago?

Garrett Beesing is a national treasure, but to consider him a Top 20 male WR when his hands gave up on him in 2018 (to the point that he had to start working hard to be a terrible QB) is atrocious. Then again, maybe this list IS from 2018.

Dan Gonzalez is more than likely just shocked he’s included.

Kevin Zack is 72 years old. And he shouldn’t even count because he isn’t human. It’s cheating.

There are so many people right now just staring at this list wondering why they didn’t even get honorable mentions. Joey Batts is cutting a promo right now. Blasé LaDuca is writing a 4000 word response on how his “best friends” Chris and Sean should be unanimously 1A and 1B on a consistently rotating basis because its impossible to choose who is better while also trying to work in how his “intangibles” should have him included on the list. And my favorites, the “nobody knows who this person is but they should totally be there because of reasons” people. Look at the TSL Facebook post about the article.

“They clearly never see you play Ryan Rusin”.

The TSL as a whole: “Who the hell is Ryan Rusin?”.

Nobody still knows, but hey, at least I made him famous for a week.

But that’s just negligence on the part of not only the committee for not paying attention to D5/D6 enough, but the team (in this case, thanks to the roster sheet for telling me, Spinelli’s Plumbing) for their refusal to send *anyone* an email to hype up their own players. For all we know Ryan Rusin is a Top 10 talent, but as the late, great Macho Man Randy Savage once said “The Cream Rises To The Top”.

In other words, if you haven’t gotten noticed by anyone on the committee, maybe it’s because you’re not that noticeable.

So get to work.

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Public Enemy 55, Losing Streak 48

Tight Ends In Motion 30, Eyes Downtown 28

Slob Kabombs 26, Sticky Bandits 25

               Another week, another small slate of D1 games. PE continues to dominate the “Chris Cole Retirement Tour” which means nothing since they’ve only played two games. Losing Streak finds themselves just on the outside looking in when it comes to being a true D1 contender. Meanwhile, TEIM takes home a nice victory over New Eyes Downtown, who just don’t feel the same anymore. Can we get Beth back to start throwing elbows? Clearly, Slob Kabombs were inspired by my article last week taking a victory, as Sticky Bandits proceed to lose yet another game that maybe they should’ve won. Are we *sure* its too late for Dean Thompson to come save them?

This Week’s Games:

Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits (+7) – Both teams are hungry for a win, as they’ve been playing ridiculously close games. But, Losing Streak is losing out to Public Enemy, not Slob Kabombs. LOSING STREAK BY 14

Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy (EVEN) – The most marquee of matchups the TSL can offer comes to center stage. This is must watch TV for anyone in the league, shame it’s so early. TIGHT ENDS BY 1

Losing Streak vs Slob Kabombs (+10) – The Kabombs look to keep things rolling. This is a much harder test than Sticky was last week, so it’ll be interesting to see if the Slobs measure up. LOSING STREAK BY 8

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+3) – Both of these teams are starting to feel like D1 jobbers. Enhancement talent for the more popular teams in the division. Could you ever imagine Bobby McConnell just sort of “being there” in D1? Father Time never loses. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+9) – Toby Keith once said “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was” and based off what I said about Eyes Downtown a paragraph ago, I’m thinking they’re going to come hard in this one. It still won’t be enough, but it’ll be fun. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 2

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

XTC 32, Bullet Club 18

A&A 33, Top Shot 29

Scared Hitless 30, Notorious BNB 20

When Dove Cries 51, Notorious BNB 16

               XTC takes down Bullet Club to finally get that first win. The Notorious BNB seems to be just going through the motions, allowing Alex’s brother George to throw, and not really caring if they win or lose. Everyone makes the playoffs. Even still, Scared Hitless is 4-0 and absolutely killing it. I don’t know how Dylan got to the next level, but I think he’s here. Look out. Finally, A&A and Top Shot went to war, but the young upstarts challenged the king, and they were promptly knocked down a peg. They’ll learn from this loss and come back stronger.

This Week’s Games:

The Notorious BNB vs Bullet Club (+13) – Bullet Club finds themselves in games, but never scoring enough to keep pace. This barnburner of a matchup (the teams are a combined 1-9) should have some fun plays done up, but this feels more like two teams just coasting until the games matter. NOTORIOUS BNB BY 9

When Dove Cries vs XTC (+10) – Team Topper is chugging along at 2-2, but with a big Clarke sister birthday weekend coming up, they’re lucky this game is at 11am. XTC looks to continue their momentum, but a stifling WDC defense stands in their way. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 10

A&A vs Scared Hitless (+6) – A week after dismissing Top Shot, A&A gets another young and hungry team looking to make a name for themselves with a signature win against them in Scared Hitless. Hitless boasts smart males (none in the Top 20 though), a killer defense, and they have the advantage on the female end of things too. But they don’t have Matty Ice, who’s healthy and killing it right now. A&A BY 9

Top Shot vs Scared Hitless (EVEN) – This is a freaking awesome matchup between two of D2s rising teams. They’re even across the board. Game of the day potential right here. TOP SHOT BY 1

Top Shot vs Passed Our Prime (+6) – POP wants to get to the level that Top Shot is currently at. They like to score fast and often. But, as we said before, they can’t stop anyone. I feel like Top Shot will score on every possession they have, and POP will have a costly turnover or two. TOP SHOT BY 11

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

The Untouchaballs 34, Grey Hair 14

Cobblestone 36, Show Me Dem TDs 16

Freeballers 27, Super Freaks 17

The Angels 33, Frodo Swaggins 18

Freeballers 16, Last Dance 15

4^th and Dong 38, Last Dance 30

               Jeremy Burr has the Untouchaballs offense cruising along. The D3 QB of the year candidate dominates Grey Hair to let the entire division know they’re for real. Cobblestone had a patchwork lineup and still rocked SMDTDs without much effort. Super Freaks may have lost, but they’re getting closer to getting that first win. The Freeballers take two wins this past week, but they can’t be thrilled with their offensive output so far. 4^th and Dong sure can though as they stay undefeated and are the clear cut favorites to win D3 as we head into the season’s second half. Last Dance lost two close ones, but they shouldn’t have much to worry about as they showed just a season ago that they can get it together and make some playoff noise.

This Week’s Games:

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) – Is this the end for Frodo? Is the window closed for that championship? This matchup will surely show us just how close they are to being contenders. Grey Hair looks to correct last week’s hiccup. GREY HAIR BY 2

4^th and Dong vs Show Me Dem TDs (+15) – Scotty Dro likes to email me about how great he’s doing in D3. So I’m challenging him to score over 54.5 points this week *and* beat the 15 point spread. We’ll see if Mount Ida’s finest is up to the challenge. 4^th AND DONG BY 14. AND THEY DON’T BREAK 50.

The Angels vs Super Freaks (+18) – Sorry Super Freaks. You just don’t have the female talent to keep up with the Angels, who seem to have gone all “Stella” on us, and they’ve gotten their groove back. Good for the league, bad for the Freaks. THE ANGELS BY 28.

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 46, Titsburgh Feelers 7

Vaspian 24, Gucci 23

Cunning Stunts 43, Practice Squad 26

Falconies 28, Today’s Feast 21

Breast Friends 52, Gucci 36

               Gucci went 0-2 on the field but from all accounts they were 1-0 at the bar. Kelly Kane finally threw all day for them, and after a very close loss to a surging Vaspian team, they lost to a Breast Friends team that is extremely talented. Buffalo Vice beat Titsbugh Feelers so badly that they decided to quit football altogether. I’m not kidding. They’re done. The Stunts continue to show why they’re D3 bound next season, championship or not. Finally the Falconies picked up a win over the Feast.

This Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice vs Today’s Feast (+12) – Today’s Feast is 1-4, sure, but their -19 point differential tells me they can hang around in most games as they figure out the TSL game. Good on them. But Buffalo Vice is a juggernaut offense that can kill you with a deep ball or on short stuff. It’ll be a challenge. BUFFALO VICE BY 19

Breast Friends vs Vaspian (+8) – Vaspian needs to score many gender TDs here to keep pace with Travis Clevanger-Bernal and his ladies. It’s quite the task, but Vaspian has been playing well this season, and I think this could be a surprise. VASPIAN BY 2

Vaspian vs Practice Squad (+5) – It was sad to hear on the podcast that Practice Squad has been suffering a rash of injuries. That explains why their once amazing defense is now the only TSL franchise that’s allowed over 200 points so far this season. Big things for Vaspian this week! VASPIAN BY 8

Falconies vs Gucci (+6) – The Falconies are getting next to zero respect from the TSL right now. They’re just the forgotten team as they continue to show up, do their jobs, and win games. Gucci is the fun new toy that the TSL is starting to gravitate towards. Look for the Lightning Jabronies to remind everyone who they are. FALCONIES BY 17

Cunning Stunts vs Zack Attack (+18) – Zack Attack is settling into D4 nicely (and I hear they have jerseys now!) but the Stunts are a different animal. However, a 3:00 game on the aforementioned “Clarke Twins birthday” has me feeling like a decent sized chunk of the ladies won’t be 100% for this one. But Joey Batts will be. And he’s F’N great. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13

Itches and Ohs vs Puckett All-Stars (+7) – The “add some former All We Do Is Quinn” players move isn’t quite paying off just yet for PAS as they’re uncharacteristically anemic on offense and only 1-3. Itches and Ohs has a defense that can cure any teams’ offensive woes, but love him or hate him (most pick the latter) Steve Moser can score with the best of them. Watch him do it again this week. ITCHES AND OHS BY 17

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Come From Behind 50, TOX 6

Not So Sticky 46, Lettuce Win 16

Spinelli’s Plumbing 58, Wasted Potential 30

Woodpeckers 37, 716 32

Spinelli’s Plumbing 44, Woodpeckers 22

               The TSL doesn’t know who Ryan Rusin is, but if he’s the catalyst for this disgustingly talented offense that Spinelli’s Plumbing has, perhaps we really do need to reevaluate the Top 20. 210 points in 5 games is tremendous and they’re they only team that scored over 200 points so far. The Woodpeckers settled into D5 nicely, and they’re 2-1 on the season after a literal up and down spring session. They handed 716 their first loss, but there’s nothing for the Pew Crew to hang their heads at. They’re doing awesome. Not So Sticky chose NOT to “Letthem win” in their game against an undermanned Lettuce Win. Come From Behind tossed up 50 against an overmatched TOX team who is currently battling some QB issues since Topper left his friends for dead.

This Week’s Games:

716 vs Come From Behind (+3) – Quite a fun matchup for two teams that have never played each other before. CFB looks to build on their big win last week whereas 716 is looking to rebound from their first ever loss. There’s a lot of fun factors here, should be a good one. 716 BY 7

Wasted Potential vs TOX (+11) – TOX needs to get that offense going if they want to stand a chance in D5. Wasted Potential, not surprisingly, is wasting some potential as they hover around .500 yet again. This team always bides its time and then “surprises” in the playoffs. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 14

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Lettuce Win (+17) – I don’t think Lettuce Win has the ability to stop Spinelli’s, because at this point, nobody does. SPINELLI’S BY 24

716 vs Lettuce Win (+10) – The backend of a doubleheader for both teams, Lettuce Win can’t do much until they learn how to score more often. 716 by 13

Not So Sticky vs Woodpeckers (EVEN) – a pretty marquee matchup even if it doesn’t sound like it. These teams are very evenly matched and a lot will ride on who shows up for NSS. WOODPECKERS BY 2

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Travis Henry’s Kids 42, Blitzkrieg 37

TMA 48, Victorious Secret 28

Lenny’s Ladies 45, Graves Bros 44

               THK finally gets their first win of the season against Blitzkrieg in a game that was going to be so boring I subconsciously skipped over even talking about it last week. And then about 47 seconds after the article was posted by Topper, Ethan was emailing me to correct me. Sorry everyone. TMA takes an easy one over Victorious Secret, putting some of the whispers about them to rest. Finally Topper filled in for an injured Joe K and lead Lenny’s Ladies to an exciting win over Graves Bros.

This Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg vs Graves Bros (+3) – In missing the game in last week’s article, I was given information that BK isn’t even at 100% yet, and hasn’t been all year. Yes, everyone (okay, like 17 people) knows that QB Alex and All-World Female Allie aren’t playing, but they’re also missing a few others. Last week they needed to try out other QBs, for instance. It’ll be interesting to see how they do at “full backup strength”. BLITZKRIEG BY 3

TMA vs Graves Bros (+6) – Graves just narrowly lost to TMA in Week 1, so you know that’s on their minds. I was going to expect Graves to take this one, and then Ferger came back. The inspirational leader of the team will continue to right the ship. TMA BY 10

Victorious Secret vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) – If there’s something Jordan Lawson doesn’t like, its losing. The sting of a loss to TMA more than likely sat with him all week, so he’s going to take it out on Travis Henry’s Kids. He’s not going to lose 2 in a row. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 3

TMA vs Lenny’s Ladies (+10) – Lenny’s Ladies is 2-0 when Joe K doesn’t play, and 0-1 with him. None of that will matter since he’ll be too focused on his former love interest than he will be at being a D+ quarterback. TMA BY 20.

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. Is Sticky overmatched in D1? They haven’t been winning the games they should be winning. Perhaps they should’ve dropped back down a division.

2. Are people taking D2 seriously? I think any one of the teams can win the championship, but while A&A takes on all comers, and new teams like Top Shot and Scared Hitless are thriving, the veteran teams like XTC, BNB, and Bullet Club are all just biding their time, having fun subs, and trying not to get anyone hurt before the playoffs. Is that the move? Does the regular season just not matter?

3. What do we with the Titsburgh Feelers situation? Sadly, for those that don’t know, the Feelers resigned from the league this past weekend. I talked to Topper and Joe K and while nothing is concrete, I think we’re going to get a bit of an “all-star” ensemble cast to take their spot. This team won’t be eligible for the playoffs, but they’ll exist to give the other teams an opponent each week.

4. Do you want to referee? Seriously, so many TSLers love this league but not nearly enough of you are stepping up to referee a game or two when we’re in peril. You don’t have to do it all day, but being able to be a “spot starter” could go a long way.

5. Do you want recognition? Recently people have been chattering about who isn’t being included in articles, or on the podcast, or anything TSL related. It’s very simple. You read this article. You read other articles. You listen to the podcast. Take 5 minutes out of your day and email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and give us a heads up on who you are! We have over 600 people in the league, and a lot of you are very, very new. It’s impossible for me to learn who everyone is when I live 845 miles away in a log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and my only “lifeline” nowadays is Topper. Think about that.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1. I really think the Top 20 Male WR rankings are going to inspire some very talented play this weekend.

2. Considering how great the weather has been for the TSL every week (it’ll be 77 and sunny again this Saturday), I think we’re overdue for a DJ Jimmy and DJ Tommy appearance.

3. There’s something missing from the podcasts lately. It feels “off” when I listen to them. It might just be the lack of Lenny though. Or the lack of a new intro.

4. Thank you again for making the TSL charity drive for the Veterans a huge success. People spun the wheel and had an amazing time. It warms my heart when I hear about how giving this league really is.

5. The next TSL charity drive? Did someone say Dog Adopt-A-Thon?

6. Anyone who takes what we do for the TSL Media over the years too seriously really needs to take a chill pill. You aren’t being personally attacked because you didn’t get ranked. Don’t ruin things for everyone else. This isn’t to anyone in particular, but if you felt even the least bit attacked by that statement, maybe you should think about why that is.

7. Best Game Watching Program Presented By B’s Brother:

               9:00 – Losing Streak vs Sticky Bandits

               10:00 – Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy

               11:00 – Graves Bros vs Blitzkrieg

               12:00 – Breast Friends vs Vaspian

               1:00 – Eyes Downtown vs Public Enemy

               2:00 -Scared Hitless vs Top Shot

               3:00 – Puckett All-Stars vs Itches and Ohs

I know I did two PE games, but I mean, look at them.

8. The amount of emails I get that are just people guessing who I am never cease to entertain me. Just this season alone I’ve been told I’m Topper, Jeff Krol, Joe K, Val Bernal, Travis, Matty Ice, Emily Curry, Emily Schilling, Axel Neff, Lenny, Tommy Hughes, Chris Cole, Dave Walter, Dave Baker, and my personal favorite “One of the guys who are Cookie and Elmo because you can walk around the fields and blend in”.

9. I 100% left a secret code in this article, and whoever gets it first will win a TSL prize.

10. There’s been chatter that we may make a “TSL Store” where you could get some cool Topper Sports swag. Is that something you’d be interested in? If you would, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

The TSL is at its apex! After this week, we’ll be slowly headed towards the second half of the season, winter, and the end of all this greatness. Enjoy this while you can, it always goes so fast.

Be safe out there, and I’ll see you next week. Good luck!

-GF

Week 3 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 03 September 2021 14:28

Published: Friday, 03 September 2021 14:28

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2351

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, as you prepare yourselves for battle this weekend upon the hallowed grounds at the Rose Garden, I have one simple request for you:

Help Topper and Lenny’s friend Kathy.

You see, Topper asked me to mention that Kathy is helping with the “Stand Down” event to assist Veterans. In fact, to make this easier to explain, here is what Topper sent me for information on the event:

“On behalf of the Veterans One-stop Center of WNY, for the next two Saturdays we will be collecting items at the fields.  If you can please help out and pass this along to your teammates, it would be great for the TSL to come through in a big way for them.

Here is list of items that we could use for the Stand Down event. It is the 20th anniversary of the event in Buffalo and it is a resource event for veterans that are homeless or at risk of homelessness. It is open to all veterans though, because they’re great resources for all to know. If you wanted to do a collection at football that would be awesome, we’d greatly appreciate it. All of the items will still need to be in packaging.

We are in need of the following:

•  Socks

•  Underwear- all sizes

•  Soap

•  Shampoo

•  Toothbrushes/Toothpaste

•  Blankets”

In other words, Let’s get donating and really show a big friend of the TSL some love in her efforts for a really good cause. Kathy has graciously donated her time again and again to being Topper’s wedding date recently, so she’s really earned the TSL’s help here as she’s “jumped on the grenade” more than once for all of us. If that wasn’t enough to show you that she’s family, she also used to work for Lenny, and one time wore a Lobster costume for him and sang “Do You Know The Way To San Jose?” at his birthday request.

I truly can not believe I just typed that sentence out, but here we are. The point is, she’s earned her TSL stripes over the years, so if we can give back to a good cause for her, we should. Please share this with your team chats and see what you can do, if anything. If you don’t donate that’s okay too, it isn’t a prerequisite, but if you don’t you’ll be silently judged by the masses. Then again, that was probably happening anyway.

Let’s show the community why the TSL is the greatest football family in the world.

Anyway, with that said, let’s talk some football.

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Losing Streak 32, Tight Ends In Motion 26

              Really dynamite stuff out of D1 last weekend, as Slob Kabombs bailed on their rematch with Public Enemy early Saturday morning. But the one matchup we did have was quite exciting, sort of. TEIM decided to put the schedule requests into the hands of known Potted Plant Assaulter Eric Kleckler who, instead of asking for the exact day of Bro’s wedding off, he just asked for “Week 1” off. You can see where this is going. A decent chunk of TEIM couldn’t be at the fields. They went up 26-0, but Losing Streak figured them out and got the big comeback win. Good for LS, who sit at 1-1 on the season. They lost a game they should’ve had when they were shorthanded, and got one when their opponents were. They fit in just fine here.

This Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion vs Slob Kabombs (+13) – Assuming we don’t get another forfeit, TEIM should get their shot to wipe the floor with Slob Kabombs this week. You know they’re already going to be annoyed that they’re 0-1, so they’re going to make up for that this week with a big win. TIGHT ENDS BY 20

Tight Ends In Motion vs Sticky Bandits (+6) – Hey look! It’s Sticky Bandits, finally. Sticky Nation returns after properly requesting off for a teammate’s wedding to finally play their first game of the season. And what a game to return to. When we last saw these two teams on the field together, Mike Thomas was throwing a game winning TD to Dean Thompson in the semi-finals. Only, he wasn’t. He was sacked, allegedly, and TEIM would go on to win it all. Like they will here. TIGHT ENDS BY 8

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

A&A 39, When Dove Cries 30

A&A 41, XTC 38

The Notorious BNB 42, Passed Our Prime 39

              A&A beat two QBs who are a combined 352 years old last week to move on to a 3-0 record, tops in the division. They’re currently the #1 ranked team in the TSL according to the very mysterious “Topper Metrics” in the standings, but rightfully so. Meanwhile, The Notorious BNB is essentially a low-end D1 team hiding out in D2, and they stole a win from Passed Our Prime on a rather controversial call.

This Week’s Games:

When Dove Cries vs Bullet Club (+7) – The Topper vs Joe K rivalry has been going on for quite sometime now. I have to assume they have alcohol on the line. Right now though, I feel like WDC currently has the edge on Bullet Club, who may just be a D3 team hiding in D2. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 12

The Notorious BNB vs Top Shot (+7) – Top Shot attempted to go to D1, but eventually dropped to D2 when Chris Nelson broke up with them. BNB, as we said, is essentially a D1 team. So if Top Shot is looking to see how they measure up in D1, this is a good start. I’m already certain that this will be some dumb Dark Blue vs Black shirts matchup where nobody is smart enough to wear white. All jokes aside, this is a good measuring stick matchup. THE NOTORIOUS BNB BY 3

Scared Hitless vs XTC (+1) – Scared Hitless is off to a better start in D2 than they were last year, and now they get to play the “haven’t won a game since we added Joey Batts because he’s secretly trash” XTC. XTC is 0-2, but they’ve lost both games by a combined 4 points. They’re very close to being 2-0 and flipping the narrative. XTC BY 6

When Dove Cries vs Scared Hitless (+7) – These two teams are very similar. They both have great females and suspect QBs. It’ll come down to which group of guys are better, and right now I think it’s the team wearing orange. WHEN DOVE CRIES BY 7

Top Shot vs XTC (+4) – The second game for both teams as we have a lot of D2 action this weekend. XTC is smart, but the truth is Sean for Top Shot is a superstar. Dylan isn’t. Yet. This guy will win QB of the Year multiple times in his career. Watch. Give me the younger team with the best player on the field in the second game of the day. TOP SHOT BY 9

Passed Our Prime vs Bullet Club (+6) – Another D2 team with a double header as Bullet Club also goes up against Passed Our Prime this weekend. POP can score, that’s for sure. They struggle with defense though. Anyone who has seen Bullet Club for the last decade knows you can describe them the same way. This could be a really fun shootout. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 9

A&A vs Passed Our Prime (+7) – POP gets their real test in A&A, who are the cream of the crop currently. I’m looking forward to this game, assuming both squads are at full strength. This could be a fun one. A&A BY 5

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Grey Hair 20, The Angels 17

The Untouchaballs 36, Show Me Dem TDs 8

Last Dance 48, Cobblestone 6

Show Me Dem TDs 32, Super Freaks 21

Cobblestone 30, The Untouchaballs 6

4^th and Dong 38, Super Freaks 30

              Grey Hair continued their dominance over The Angels who lose a close one again. Meanwhile, Cobblestone lost 48-6 but then beat Untouchaballs 30-6, after Untouchaballs beat SMDTDs 36-8, who would then beat Super Freaks 32-21. My point is that D3 is a blender of ridiculousness that is must see TV since anyone can beat anyone on any given Saturday.

This Week’s Games:

Last Dance vs The Angels (+7) – If there’s one thing the girls want less in this world than having to wake up for a early game, its to hear JZ screaming at 10:02am. That alone is motivation for them to remind the TSL just who run the world. Girls. THE ANGELS BY 12

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+6) – Garrett drops back down to play QB in D3 where he belongs, after a 72 interception performance in D1 last week. Frodo is weirdly just 0-0-1 this season. Do they have an answer for Jeremy Burr, Melanie Linsmair and the “look out because we’ve arrived except for that last game just ignore that” Untouchaballs? Yes. Yes they do. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 19

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Super Freaks (+10) – The Super Freaks when 0-2 last weekend but they were in both games. Ralph Finney might not be a QB, but he’s too smart at this game to not figure it out fast. I think they’re going to be a very tough out as the season goes on. Grey Hair is just par for the course right now. 2-0, cruising along. They know what they need to be doing, and they do it. Like they will here. GREY HAIR BY 8

Freeballers vs Show Me Dem TDs (+10) – One of my esteemed informants gave me some information that Freeballers are moving away from George Lombardo at QB and going with Dylan Jaloza instead. It’s a great move when you consider Dylan is a better QB anyway, but George hasn’t been too shabby either. I mean, they did win D4 with him. I’m not entirely sure why, but it seems its work related. I’m still not sure what SMDTDs is yet. This is a good test for them. FREEBALLERS BY 11

Cobblestone vs 4^th And Dong (+20) – It’s the summer of Darryl. 4^th and Dong are nice people, but Cobblestone is clearly America’s team, and Darryl is looking to drop 37 points in the first half alone on 4^th and Dong.*

*-this preview was sponsored by and paid for Darryl Carr, QB Superstar.

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts 34, Puckett All-Stars 22

Buffalo Vice 20, Zack Attack 14

Zack Attack 20, Puckett All-Stars 14

Itches and Ohs 51, Practice Squad 38

Gucci 26, Today’s Feast 22

Itches and Ohs 36, Breast Friends 35

Practice Squad 46, Breast Friends 35

              The Puckett All-Stars are in the middle of realizing that when you pick up All We Do Is Quinn players, you get their ability to lose in the regular season as well as they go 0-2 this past week. Zack Attack gets their first win in D4, a 20-14 tilt over Puckett after losing to Buffalo Vice by the same score earlier in the day. Eventually, the TSL is going to have to admit Steve Moser is good at football whether they like him or not. He took two more wins home, and has Itches and Ohs sitting as the #2 team according to Topper Metrics. Breast Friends had a tough day at the office, but I’m pretty sure Travis Cleavenger-Bernal was exhausted by the end of his 4^th game in the brutal heat. Gucci takes home their first win in the TSL, giving Today’s Feast their first TSL loss as well. A lot of fun firsts!

This Week’s Games:

Today’s Feast vs Vaspian (+7) – I’m not sure if TF is the baller team from Week 1 or the team that lost in Week 2. They take on a veteran Vaspian squad that is still finding itself. Good times are ahead for Vaspian. VASPIAN BY 8

Cunning Stunts vs Today’s Feast (+8) – Things don’t get easier for TF as they’re thrown into the fire that is the Cunning Stunts. They’re just a great gender team led by a tiny QB with a big mouth. These girls know how to play, don’t underestimate them. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

Practice Squad vs Puckett All-Stars (+3) – Two 1-2 teams who really could use this victory for tiebreaker purposes. Both teams are off to shaky starts, and they’re kind of in the same position, except that PS might have the worst defense in the league right now. They’ve allowed a ridiculous 44 points a game, which is just a trend that I can’t imagine continuing. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 8

Zack Attack vs Breast Friends (+3) – The two best teams from D5 face off in a D4 matchup this season. BFs got off to a rough start last week, but that shouldn’t be the norm. As for the Attack, they’re getting better every week. The defense is still very good, even if it isn’t as great as its been. This should be a fun one. ZACK ATTACK BY 2

Zack Attack vs Titsburgh Feelers (+10) – The only data we have on the Feelers is that they got their shit kicked in in their first game ever by Today’s Feast who may not even be that good. That doesn’t bode well for the newbies. Zack should roll in this one. ZACK ATTACK BY 16

Itches and Ohs vs Buffalo Vice (+1) – I really hope Seth shows up so we can have the 58-55 final this game deserves. It’s going to be high scoring, and it’s going to be exciting. These are two of my favorite teams and yes, this is a D4 championship game preview. ME. I AM THE WINNER HERE. ALSO BUFFALO VICE BY 1.

Falconies vs Titsburgh Feelers (+6) – I’m not 100% sure who either team really is yet. But I do know that Joe Miano is a star who is wasting his talents in D4. This should be his “secondary” team. FALCONIES BY 10

Cunning Stunts vs Gucci (+8) – If the rumors are true, and we have Gucci rocking their female QB, then this is everything we’ve ever wanted. A fantastic gender team vs a gender QB who could also be fantastic, I mean, we don’t know. Historically, co-ed teams try to get gender TDs to keep up with the girls teams. But what if you just get one star QB female? Let’s find out. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

716 41, TOX 31

Not So Sticky 20, Wasted Potential 14

Lettuce Win 28, Come From Behind 16

               Perhaps the demise of TOX was a little overblown, as they hung in there with 716 before ultimately falling. Not So Sticky accidentally beat Wasted Potential, which just means they weren’t drunk enough. And Lettuce Win took a victory from CFB, who were making their TSL return!

This Week’s Games:

Wasted Potential vs Lettuce Win (+1) – I still need more data points on Lettuce Win to really give them the edge over a team in WP that I know can play very, very well when they want to. You know, when they play to their potential. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 8

Wasted Potential vs Come From Behind (+3) – CFB is a veteran team that knows what they’re supposed to be doing, even if they don’t execute it properly every time. But they’re smart, and that can’t be understated. WP not having Big Brain Coach Jay behind center brings them down a notch. And I’ll take brain power over athletes any day. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs TOX (+8) – Spinelli’s is looking for their first win in D5, and TOX is a team that more than likely will give it to them. I know, I just said that perhaps they’re better than we thought, but Spinelli’s put on a clinic in D6 last season, and their girls are just much better than TOX’s. Look for Katie Swanson and Chelsea Lapore to just take over the game here at some point. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 8

WoodPeckers vs TOX (EVEN) – The Woodpeckers make their triumphant return to the TSL in the division they should’ve been in this whole time! Joe B has consistently given everyone in TSL management his updated roster, and currently it seems like none of the names involved have been recently cut by any NFL teams or major wrestling federations. WOODPECKERS BY 2

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Come From Behind (+3) – I don’t know much about CFB in terms of if they’re a “new look” or we’re getting the same, um, classic roster. Spinelli’s is young and hungry, maybe, so I’m going to give this to them. Looking forward to being wrong here. SPINELLI’S BY 7

716 vs Not So Sticky (+8) – I don’t know if Not So Sticky is playing for keeps for playing for funsies this season. The Jeff Krol passion project rolls on against a 716 team that’s been impressive so far in D5. If 716 wants to make a name for themselves, winning this one will do that for them. 716 BY 7

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

TMA 25, Blitzkrieg 16

Graves Bros 48, Travis Henry’s Kids 47

               TMA continues to roll as the big fish in a small pond took out Blitzkrieg with awesome human being Johnny Dio under center yet again. TMA was at full strength this week and didn’t have much of an issue winning this one. Graves Bros beat THK by a point in a crazy fun game that both teams really needed to get their season on the right track.

This Week’s Games:

Lenny’s Ladies vs Blitzkrieg (+6) – Lenny’s Ladies had an impressive Week 1 win, even though Chris Cole played for them. Joe K should be back at QB this time around with his ladies roster that is very sneaky good. I’ve had 3 different people tell me how Lenny’s has a great roster that nobody realizes is good. Blitzkrieg really isn’t Blitzkrieg this time around as QB Alex isn’t playing and neither is superstar Allie Metzger. This puts other players in positions they may not be used to and they’ll be adjusting. LENNY’S LADIES BY 9

TMA vs Blitzkrieg (+9) – We just saw this matchup last week, but in a 6 team division you need to get used to that. TMA shouldn’t have much of an issue getting the same result here, as they looked very good with their full team intact. Teams that are true families always play better together. TMA BY 18

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. Are we going to start getting more bets in the league? It seems like the only time we really get some good bar bets is when Breakfast Club is happening. We need more captains calling each other out. Stop being weak.

2. Do you want to be a referee? Seriously, the TSL needs a few more people to sign up to referee. Shout out to those that already have stepped up to help the league out.

3. How many donations will we get for the veterans? Topper will give the team that donates the most a pizza party. He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. I’m excited to hear about how well we do.

4. What’s the biggest surprise of the season so far? That gender teams are a combined 3-4 this season, and that Lenny’s Ladies and Victorious Secret have two of those wins.

5. What’s the biggest disappointment so far this season? Practice Squad can not be happy with how many points they’re allowing. I’m disappointed in them. Topper told me its Kenny’s fault. I’m not sure I agree.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1. After two weeks of way too humid and hot weather, it appears that the weather has chilled out a little bit for you guys in Buffalo. This weekend should be a lot nicer.

2. As always, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to get your team its proper publicity. Don’t complain if you don’t talk to me. I actually have some emails to catch up on now that I think about it.

3. Did you guys see that “Top Female Receiver Rankings” part in the QB Power Rankings Article? I would’ve loved to have voted in that. I don’t know who the committee is fully made up of, but I have some questions about that. Like, how was Emily Curry not a unanimous top 10 vote getter? Or Margo? This is some nonsense. Melanie Linsmair is good for sure, but it feels like recency bias came into play. My Top 5, in some order, off the top of my head would be Robin Makula, Margo Jablonski, Jaimie Warren, Emily Curry, and Cheryl Julicher. For the record.

4. And no, nobody cares about the males for this stuff.

5. I think its almost a fair complaint that the “non-Godfather” TSL media has been off lately. The podcast still needs a new intro and its hard to listen to when nobody saw any games. The Sentinel at least got their information right this week. The QB Rankings just had that questionable female receiver list. The point is, you’re welcome everyone for yet again giving you the best social co-ed football media for 10 years running now.

6. Joe K emailed me to ask the TSL universe if anyone wants to be in the 3^rd annual Leonard T. Alba III Memorial TSL Fantasy Football league. They need a few more players this season. Please see him at the fields if you want in, or if you just want more info.

7. Top teams that will fade out during the season: Falconies, Cobblestone, Eyes Downtown

8. Bottom teams that will rise up the standings: XTC, The Angels, Breast Friends

9. Good teams that will stay good: Top Shot, 716, TMA, Itches and Ohs.

10. Bad teams that will stay bad: Super Freaks, Bullet Club, Vaspian

And that’s going to do it for the article this week. Again, PLEASE tell your teammates about the donation drive for the veterans. I think you can do great things for the community with this! Week 3 is fast approaching, it’s going to be the best week yet. Stay safe out there.

-GF

Week 4 thoughts, picks, and Insights

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 10 September 2021 14:37

Published: Friday, 10 September 2021 14:37

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 2090

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, just like that, we’re in Week 4 of the TSL Fall 2021 season. To say things have been less than “normal” would be an understatement. We’ve had quite our fair share of unique scenarios already start to play out here. Just look at this list of ridiculousness:

·        For the ‘Fall’ season, each of the first 3 weeks have been very hot. This Saturday looks to continue that trend.

·        Matty Ice not only has A&A as the #1 overall team in all of the TSL, but he’s spent more time on the fields than at the bar.

·        THREE Teams in D1 have only played 1 game so far this season

·        716 has established themselves as D5 favorites after just coming into the league as new team

·        The QB Rankings Committee botched their “Top Female WR Rankings” with relative newcomer Melanie Linsmair placing 3^rd.

·        It’s hard to argue the Bar Legends list from this week though. (Dave Walter over Darryl Carr though, please)

·        Itches and Ohs are 3-1-1, but only have a point differential of 5

·        XTC and Bullet Club are a combined 0-8, and they’ll only get a win this week because they play each other.

·        People are starting to like Blasé LaDuca

You see? Pure madness, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

So you must be asking yourself: What does it all mean? The answer is very simple. Absolutely nothing. Time and time again I stare at game results and the standings around midseason and I try to predict how things are going to go, and while I’m usually 100% accurate in everything I say, sometimes Topper enters things incorrectly into the website which makes it seem like I’m wrong.

However, in the spirit of fantasy football season getting ready to go (and just a day after the greatest quarterback who ever lived, Tom Brady (ever heard of this guy? He’s like if Darryl Carr ever actually tried hard), led his team to yet another victory) I’ll be giving you some Bold Predictions for each division, ranging from mild to spicy.

So let’s get to it:

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 45, Slob Kabombs 19

Tight Ends In Motion 37, Sticky Bandits 30

               Not much to report from D1, except the champs are back, doing what they do best. Win football games. But let’s not get things confused here. TEIM and Sticky, in their first meeting since the playoff matchup from last season, had another barnburner here that had Sticky *JUST* fall short yet again.

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Mild – Slob Kabombs do absolutely nothing of note the rest of the season besides flirt with going 0—9.

Hot – Public Enemy doesn’t get a bye as the “Chris Cole Last Dance” tour only proves that he’s a broken down old man who should’ve walked away a season sooner, and that he’s only been a product of the Lenny/Tommy Hughes system this whole time.

Spicy -  Losing Streak and Sticky Bandits meet in the D1 championship game.

This Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits vs Slob Kabombs (+10) – A well oiled machine takes on the complete opposite of a well oiled machine. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

Public Enemy vs Losing Streak (+1) – Game of the Day. Let’s see just how well the D2 champs measure up to one of the greatest teams ever assembled in the TSL. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 3.

Tight Ends In Motion vs Eyes Downtown (+6) – Somehow Eyes Downtown, who have been a D1 contender for a decade or so, is getting lost in the shuffle of everyone else’s much more interesting storylines. I think we need a Bobby Beatdown where he just reminds everyone who he is. Sadly, this isn’t it. D1 may have just passed him by, and no amount of Soccer Complex practices can save him. TIGHT ENDS BY 9

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

Scared Hitless 36, XTC 20

When Dove Cries 36, Bullet Club 28

Top Shot 33, Notorious BNB 22

Scared Hitless 32, When Dove Cries 28

Top Shot 39, XTC 36

Passed Our Prime 41, Bullet Club 26

A&A 39, Passed Our Prime 38

               Scared Hitless continues their hot start in D2, moving to 3-0 with wins over XTC and Team Topper. These are the teams they were losing to last season, so things continue to be on the right track for them. Top Shot also moves to 3-0 in the division with two big wins of their own against BNB and XTC. However, A&A (even with Matty holding a beverage for part of the game) stays on top of the division with a win over POP to move to 4-0. WDC and Bullet Club had a nice back and forth affair, with WDC getting the win on the last play of the game with a dropped gender TD by BC that would’ve tied the game. Bullet Club would go on to lose to POP later in the day as well.

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Mild – A&A will go undefeated in the regular season.

Hot -  XTC and Bullet Club will go a combined 1-17 on the season, yet somehow both will provide first round upsets in the playoffs.

Spicy -  Passed Our Prime will continue their assault on the Points For record book, scoring at an unseen pace in TSL history. However, their defense will remain awful, and they will also set records for Points Against as they can’t stop anyone. They’ll end up 4-5 and lose in the first round of the playoffs.

This Week’s Games:

The Notorious BNB vs When Dove Cries (+7) – BNB tries to pull a fast one on Topper by getting him to play at 9:00am, thinking he wouldn’t be ready. The joke is on them though, as Breakfast Club’s all time winningest QB thrives that early. The last time he played at 9am, he threw TEN touchdowns in a single game. We’ll ignore that most were to the other team. NOTORIOUS BNB BY 4

XTC vs Bullet Club (+3) – Two 0-4 teams meet up on the field of battle to see which one of them won’t lose every game this season. XTC BY 9

A&A vs Top Shot (EVEN) – Dear Top Shot, you want to be recognized as a great team. You want to go down in history as the best. Well, to be the man, you’ve got to beat the man. Matty Ice stands in your way of glory. Yes, we’re going to ignore that A&A trots out tremendous other players on their stacked roster. If TS wants the glory, they can take it right here. TOP SHOT BY 8

Scared Hitless vs The Notorious BNB (+5) – Scared Hitless, see Top Shot above this. New team, starting to thrive in D2, and while this game won’t be as big of a deal as the one above, it’ll still be a damn good one. BNB will be without Dave Baker since TEIM plays at the same time though, so it won’t be as good of a battle as we’d hope. SCARED HITLESS BY 10

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

The Angels 43, Last Dance 28

Frodo Swaggins 42, Untouchaballs 40

Grey Hair 47, Super Freaks 27

Freeballers 23, Show Me Dem TDs 16

4^th and Dong 52, Cobblestone 30

               The Angels beat up on Last Dance so badly, MULTIPLE INFORMANTS emailed me to tell me how JZ not only cried on the fields, he used a timeout just to quit the game. I hope someone reaches out to him to get him the help he deserves. Frodo slips by Jeremy Burr and the Untouchaballs who have really been balling out this season, despite the 2-2 record. Grey Hair drops the elbow onto Super Freaks, who aren’t playing as bad as may have been reported earlier. They’ll win a few before the season ends. Freeballers sneak past Show Me Dem TDs to get their first of many wins of the season. 4^th and Dong shows they’re a D3 force this season by blowing up Cobblestone as well.

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Mild – 4^th and Dong doesn’t lose a game en route to #1 seed in the division.

Hot – Frodo Swaggins finishes at .500 and don’t factor into the championship yet again.

Spicy – Jeremy Burr leads The Untouchaballs to the D3 title game and wins D3 QB of the Year over Dave Eickhoff and “Couldn’t do it in D2 so I had to go back to hide and thrive in D3” Scotty Dro.

This Week’s Games:

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs The Untouchaballs (+7) – Hot on the heels of my spicy prediction, Burr can prove me right (or very, very wrong) with a great showing here against the 3-0 GHDC. Grey Hair is playing well on both sides of the ball, so it’ll be fun to see if they show any cracks. GREY HAIR BY 8

Cobblestone vs Show Me Dem TDs (+6) – Cobblestone sits at 2-2, which shows it really doesn’t matter what division they’re in. While both teams give up similar amounts of points, Cobblestone is just significantly better on offense, which should give them the win. COBBLESTONE BY 10

The Angels vs Frodo Swaggins (+8) – Both teams are still finding their legs this season as they both got their first victories of the season last week. The girls dominance over Last Dance gives me hope that they’re “Back”, not they they’ve gone anywhere. If the girls can contain Nick Buczek in the redzone, and force Garrett into a few bad throws, they can take this. They won’t.  FRODO SWAGGINS BY 2.

Freeballers vs Super Freaks (+7) – Freeballers have made the change to Dylan Jaloza at QB and it should unlock this offense’s potential on the field. At the very least, they’re getting the right team to work out the kinks (if there’s any) against. FREEBALLERS BY 12

Freeballers vs Last Dance (+3) – I’m not sure what’s going on with Last Dance. Is Diva JZ going to be back? Are they good telling him to stay home and not be a distraction? If he stays away, they win, if he shows up, they lose. Being selfish like he was last week is a big reason he’s always a free agent. LAST DANCE BY 6 WITHOUT JZ, FREEBALLERS BY 8 WITH JZ.

4^th and Dong vs Last Dance (+8) – It won’t matter if he’s here or not for this game against D3’s newest juggernaut though. 4^th AND DONG BY 13

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 42, Today’s Feast 16

Cunning Stunts 35, Today’s Feast 14

Practice Squad 35, Puckett All-Stars 30

Breast Friends 35, Zack Attack 15

Zack Attack 55, Titsburgh Feelers 25

Itches and Ohs 46, Buffalo Vice 46

Titsburgh Feelers 32, Falconies 30

Cunning Stunts 50, GUCCI 15

               Every team in D4 has at least 1 win now as Vaspian, Breast Friends, and the Titsburgh Feelers all pick up their first wins. Itches and Ohs tied Buffalo Vice at 46 as two of the top D4 teams had a crazy battle. The Stunts keep rolling with 2 wins at a combined score of 85-29. Practice Squad gets a very good win against Puckett in a “probably will matter for tiebreakers later” matchup.

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Mild – The Cunning Stunts, now at full strength after a year, continue to roll and win D4, moving up to D3 to resume the battle with The Angels

Hot – Breast Friends are the team that loses to the Stunts in the championship game.

Spicy – Itches and Ohs AND Practice Squad get upset in the first round of the playoffs, and the Falconies end up being one of the teams that miss them completely.

This Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice vs Titsburgh Feelers (+12) – Buffalo Vice can score regardless of who the QB is. Titsburgh Feelers sort of can’t stop anyone. Not the recipe they’re going to need to pull off this upset. BUFFALO VICE BY 20

Cunning Stunts vs Practice Squad (+8) – The Stunts end up losing Renee Lantz to her actual team, but I think they’ll still be able to weather the storm here. The once fearful PS defense has been abysmal this time around. CUNNING STUNTS BY 5

Vaspian vs Gucci (EVEN) – Vaspian won this past week big because they got QB Brian Orzo back from injury (he wasn’t the reason they lost 30-8 the first week, as his email to me nicely pointed out), and with some new faces they have a renewed confidence in themselves. Gucci is, as far as I know, a team chock full of continuity for the last few seasons, which can never be underestimated. This should be a really good game. GUCCI BY 1

Falconies vs Today’s Feast (+10) – Just because I made my Spicy prediction about the Falconies doesn’t mean they won’t ever win again. TF hasn’t been great since a big Week 1 win, and that trend may look to continue this time around against Kicak and company. FALCONIES BY 17

Breast Friends vs Gucci (+9) – If the “Kelly Kane is the regular QB” rumors are true, this is the time to fully unleash her on the TSL. The way to beat a gender team is to score all gender TDs, and having a female slinging the rock will get you there. Add in taking your fastest guy or girl on your roster to rush Travis Cleavanger-Bernal and not give him the 12 minutes per play he takes scrambling before something opens up and you have the ingredients to win this thing. GUCCI BY 7

Cunning Stunts vs Breast Friends (+4) – LETS GOOOO. Gender games are the absolute best in the league, and we’ve got a great one to end the day. The Stunts have played together longer. Joey Batts is a better QB than Travis, but Travis is a better defender. The problem for BF is that when gender teams meet in the TSL, the gentlemen don’t play defense because we’re all about Girl Power here. That takes away any advantage for the BFs. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Wasted Potential 42, Lettuce Win 20

Wasted Potential 35, Come From Behind 24

Spinelli’s Plumbing 39, TOX 24

WoodPeckers 37, TOX 21

Spinelli’s Plumbing 42, Come From Behind 39

716 44, Not So Sticky 30

               Big day out of Wasted Potential as Coach Jay appeared this week and helped them win two games that they really should’ve won. MaKensey Pietz has put together a killer squad yet again. Spinelli’s gets their first two wins in D5, helping keep TOX and CFB winless on the season. The Woodpeckers find a home in D5 and they hammer out their first win in what feels like forever. Finally, 716 stays on top of the division with a win over NSS.

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Mild – Wasted Potential and Spinelli’s Plumbing meet in the finals

Hot – Woodpeckers never lose a game until the playoffs.

Spicy – Not So Sticky makes a commitment to being sober and focuses on their on field play, resulting in a sterling 3-6 final record.

This Week’s Games:

Come From Behind vs TOX (+3) – Both teams are very similar matched in our battle of the 0-3s. The biggest difference is that Paul LoVullo is a fantastic QB who has seen it all in his career, which started back in 1875. There’s nothing TOX can throw at that kind of experience to surprise him. COME FROM BEHIND BY 13

Not So Sticky vs Lettuce Win (+3) – I’m not sure how the “early” game will affect NSS, but I’m sure it just means they’ll be having halftime mimosas instead of shotgunning trulys or whatever they do during halftime. I’d still like to know more about Lettuce Win, so hopefully they email me and inform me. NOT SO STICKY BY 1

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Wasted Potential (EVEN) – HERE WE GO! This is a marquee matchup pitting two of D5s best against each other. After both teams went a combined 4-0 last week, it only makes sense for them to battle each other and see who’s on top of the mountain. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 4

716 vs Woodpeckers (+6) – Woodpeckers had an easier game against TOX to get acclimated to playing again, but they get thrown right into the fire against a surging 716. 716 has been really awesome this season so far, even though I don’t know much about them either (hint hint Mr. Pew). Anyway, I think 716 continues to roll. 716 BY 7

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Woodpeckers (+7) – After a hard fought game against Wasted Potential, Spinelli’s gets the Woodpeckers. The Peckers are also on their second game of the day, and I think they’ll be getting a big win to make this the winningest season in Woodpeckers history. WOODPECKERS BY 8

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg 22, Lenny’s Ladies 0

TMA 30, Blitzkrieg 29

               It was a very Blitzkrieg heavy day for D6, as BK went 1-1 with a win over Lenny’s Ladies and a close loss against TMA.

BOLD PREDICTIONS:

Mild – TMA runs the table, going undefeated on the season.

Hot – Lenny’s Ladies doesn’t win another game the rest of the season

Spicy – Victorious Secret has a great playoff, beating TMA (who will go to Johnny Dio full time after this season) to win the D6 championship. Jordan Lawson pairs this D6 title with his D1 title and takes both championships back to Game On!, never to be heard from in the TSL again.

This Week’s Games:

TMA vs Victorious Secret (+7) – You know, for a TMA team that decided to hide in a weakened D6 instead of moving up to D5, they’re not dominating as much as I thought they would. They had to sneak out a win against Graves Bros, and again against Blitzkrieg a week after beating them by 9. VS had a great Week 1 but we haven’t seen them since. Perhaps some rust has formed. TMA BY 3

Graves Bros vs Lenny’s Ladies (+10) – Lenny’s Ladies beat Graves Bros last year in a semi-surprising upset that sent Graves Bros in a tailspin that haven’t quite fully pulled out of. They’ll be attempting to right the ship this time around. GRAVES BROS BY 6

Victorious Secret vs Lenny’s Ladies (+1) – Last season these two teams had an excellent matchup that was more exciting than it had any right to be. Lenny’s Ladies pulled off the late win that time, but they don’t have superhuman Robin Makula on the team anymore to bail them out.  I expect to see VS “get their win back” in another exciting game. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 4

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. Are you donating to the Veterans? The TSL did AMAZING with the donations in Week 1 of our charity drive. Topper was overwhelmed! We’re doing it for one more week, and we encourage all who would like to donate to do so again. We have more than enough Soap, Shampoo, and Toothbrushes, so if you’re wondering what to donate please grab socks and underwear!

2. Are you spinning the wheel? The Topper sports wheel is making its return, and for $5 you get to spin the wheel. Topper will be giving out prizes and you get delicious homemade pudding shots as well! Come have fun as we raise some cash for a good cause!

3. Are you staying hydrated? Another scorcher seems to be in the cards for you guys at the fields (mind you, its going to be 95 degrees here in Des Moines) so remember to drink your fluids and use sunscreen. Be smart.

4. Who will be on top of D2 when the day comes to a close? Top Shot is going to beat A&A, but I think Notorious BNB will beat Scared Hitless, meaning Top Shot will be on top after this week.

5. Which ‘Spicy’ level prediction do you think actually can happen? I think its very plausible that Jordan wins D1 and D6. People are underestimating the pink.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1. How have you guys not had a dunk tank yet when it’s been so hot?

2. Thank you to everyone that donated to the Veterans last week (and will this week!). That’s so awesome and you really did show just how great this league really is.

3. I do this a lot, but another shout out goes to Coach Jay for being just awesome. He’s busy being an actual coach, a great dog dad, dealing with his wife, setting the referee schedule, finding more refs, and just does it all with that smile on his face. Thank you.

4. Here are the best games to watch this week:

               9:00 – Notorious BNB vs When Dove Cries

               10:00 – Grey Hair vs Untouchaballs

               11:00 – Losing Streak vs Public Enemy (Sorry Top Shot vs A&A)

               12:00 – Victorious Secret vs TMA

               1:00 – Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Wasted Potential

               2:00 – Woodpeckers vs 716

               3:00 – Cunning Stunts vs Breast Friends

5. Thank you to the TSLers who take the time to email me, as always. I got a few new emails from some teams I hadn’t heard from in a bit this week and it was very helpful! Please take a second to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. so I know more about your squad!

6. I still hear the same old intro to the podcast Joe K. However, this week’s episode with Dylan and Blasé was surprisingly fun to listen to. We need more Joey Batts though.

7. Where is B’s Brother? Someone needs to find him, it’s been far too long.

8. With the recent “rankings” the TSLQBPRC has been churning out, it got me thinking what other good lists should they put out? Best teams ever? Hall of fame lists? Most creative teams? Best jerseys?

9. I usually get a lot of complaints by Week 4 about the field conditions. I haven’t received any really. Am I to assume they’re great? Or are people tired of complaining.

10. I haven’t heard of DJ Jimmy or Tommy appearing to play music. Considering how nice it’s been, maybe we should get the tunes pumping?

We’re smack dab in the middle of another interesting TSL season, and with the way the first 3 weeks have gone, we’re in for some craziness for the next 6. Buckle your seat belts.

I look forward to hearing about how this week went.

Go Bills.

-GF

Week 2 Thoughts, Picks & Predictions

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 27 August 2021 13:35

Published: Friday, 27 August 2021 13:35

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 8421

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the race for social co-ed football immortality has officially begun, sort of. Week 1 of the Fall2021 season is indeed completed, but it felt more like the trial run of a typical TSL football week. We were missing a lot of teams, players, B’s brother, and referees. Things were just a little weird. Look at the list of teams that didn’t play: Tight Ends In Motion, Sticky Bandits, When Dove Cries, Breast Friends, Cunning Stunts, Pretty much all of D5, and Blitzkrieg.

We’re talking some real star power in the D1 champions, Sticky Nation, Topper, two gender teams, an entire division, and Light Red Hoodie Guy. That’s crazy. And if the TSL Universe wasn’t weird enough, Week 1 brought us other unusual sights as well. Cobblestone is leading D3. Passed Our Prime not only won a game, but they did so with their actual team showing up. Frank Laudico actually played a game at QB in the TSL instead of dodging us (Okay, it wasn’t with the Wanderers, but steps were taken to have them finally come prove themselves). The gender teams are leading D6. The standings page on the website is this weird green color instead of the blue we’re used to, and for some reason it’s going Wins – Draws – Losses and looks weird for records. From what I was told, the bar almost had an electrical fire and burned down AND it wasn’t our fault. Bees were on the attack as well. People were extra sweaty and hot. The podcast apparently recorded an episode, lost it, and had to quickly make another one.

Needless to say, the TSL had some real cobwebs to shake out this past week. Or most of the league was still drunk from the wine tournament the week before. This is quite possible, and honestly the most reasonable explanation for everything.

Either way: FOOTBALL IS BACK!

There was some normalcy to the games this week too: Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown are at the top of the D1 standings. Bullet Club is having attendance issues. Matty ice is leading A&A to wins in only half a shirt. Johnny Dio is leading TMA to wins. Buffalo Vice is putting up points. Puckett All-Stars just keep winning games. So, the league isn’t completely upside down and scrambled. But what a fun and interesting start we had.

What does that mean for the upcoming Week 2? Let’s find out!

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Public Enemy 53, Slob Kabombs 30

Eyes Downtown 40, Losing Streak 34

Not a whole lot to write about here. Public Enemy starts off the Chris Cole Goodbye/Revenge Tour Sendoff Jamboree with a big win against the “new” team in D1. I say new in quotes because most of these players have been in the league before. But, its never fun to have to play the focused PE in your first game as a squad. Eyes Downtown and Losing Streak had a hell of a back and forth that ED pulled out at the end. While LS would’ve liked to get a big win off the bat in D1, I don’t think they have much to worry about here when you consider that the reports that they were shorthanded. Look out for them at full strength.

This Week’s Games:

Public Enemy vs Slob Kabombs (+12) – Well, due to some fantastic scheduling work, we already get a rematch this season. PE and the Kabombs run it back this week, but I can’t imagine there being much of a difference so quickly. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 15.

Tight Ends In Motion vs Losing Streak (+7) – Let’s GO! Our D1 champs take on our D2 champions in their first game of the season. This is some high quality content here. LS is getting the points solely because of the respect for the champs, but I’ve already heard that Bro Klecker is getting hitched this weekend (Congrats to him!) so if that’s happening Saturday, this game is way less fun. But I can only make my incredibly accurate predictions assuming both teams are at full strength. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 1.

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

A&A 37, Notorious BNB 36

Scared Hitless 42, Bullet Club 15

Top Shot 32, Bullet Club 16

Passed Our Prime 54, XTC 53

A&A and BNB put on one hell of a show to get us started this season. A lot of same faces in new places in this battle. Amy Taylor tossed a late TD to Alex Buchilis to bring BNB within a point. Instead of going for the tie, they went for 2 to win the game like badasses do. Sadly, they didn’t get it, but it’s still admirable. Bullet Club had some new faces as well, and they looked like a team that’s never really played together before. Scared Hitless meanwhile looked pretty good as a unit, and Sticky Hands Blonde Chick really showed her stuff, catching FOUR TDs in this one. Top Shot got off to a fast start in their victory, scoring on the first possession and then getting a pick 8 soon after to get a quick lead. They looked good as a team in their first D2 action, with several unnamed Top Shot players stating that it was because Blasé wasn’t playing. As I stated before, POP actually had players show up, and they won a hell of a game against XTC to start the season. XTC added both Battaglia brothers, and Dubey showed up to sling the rock, which equaled a LOT of points. D2, as always, will be a crapshoot.

This Week’s Games:

A&A vs When Dove Cries (+4) – The new and improved A&A is the first test for Team Topper this season. While other teams were adding more and more talent, Topper decided he needed to go out and get Gary Schmelzer to compete. Yes, that Gary. The one that Topper has trashed for a decade. This is like Rocky and Drago working together. I don’t know who is who. A&A BY 7

The Notorious BNB vs Passed Our Prime (+1) – I’m just betting the over here. And that O/U line is probably 110. Passed Our Prime will absolutely be able to score here, but they absolutely won’t be able to stop BNB. If either team slows this game down, they just hate football. In the end, I’m going to take the team with Dave Baker because he’s still Dave F’N Baker. BNB BY 3

A&A vs XTC (+3) – Two teams, and only 5 letters between the two of them. Nice. I don’t think people should be sleeping on XTC this season, as they’re quite improved, and I’m sure Joey Batts will tell you all about it. A&A does have some new faces as well, as I said before, but it never feels like it matters. Matty and company can pretty much win any game they’re in with whoever is on the roster. Hell, they won games with JZ on the team before. Another game where I’d lean to take the over. XTC BY 6

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Last Dance 48, Show Me Dem TDs 22

Frodo Swaggins 34, 4^th And Dong 34

The Untouchaballs 45, The Angels 34

Grey Hair Don’t Care 27, Freeballers 17

Cobblestone 46, Super Freaks 18

Wolf Dance was quite close to the D3 title last season, and they picked up right where they left off, stomping SMDTDs. Show Me jumped up a couple of divisions just to get beaten like they were in D5, so I worry that perhaps they miscalculated just where they belong here. Frodo and 4^th and Dong tied, which is amazing. 4^th and Dong is clearly team Keller, but they grabbed Scotty Dro to be their QB and got future son-in-law Stegs to be on the roster as well. Untouchaballs had Melanie Linsmair catching long TDs against the Angels, which is the surest sign she’ll end up being an Angel next season. Grey Hair dominated a shorthanded Freeballers, and that game allegedly could’ve been a lot worse. Finally, there’s nothing too Super about these Freaks it seems, even though its only been a week. Sam Lattuca was spotted throwing the football for Cobblestone at times and it seems they’ve turned the clock back to 2018 this season. I hope it continues.

This Week’s Games:

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs The Angels (+6) – It will never be not weird to have the Angles as underdogs, but it’s fantastic to see them playing in the correct division where they aren’t just beating the crap out of everyone. Last season, these two faced off like 47 times, and I think Grey Hair won all of them. Both teams got a bit better in the offseason, and Matty is healed, so it’ll be fun to see how this version plays out. GREY HAIR BY 2

The Untouchaballs vs Show Me Dem TDs (+7) – The Untouchaballs featuring Jeremy Burr looked pretty good last week, and SMDTDs did not. Both are going to be mad when they’re both wearing blue and nobody brought another color too. I’m just going to play the early trends here. UNTOUCHABALLS BY 4

Last Dance vs Cobblestone (+6) – Right now, Last Dance looks like the most complete team in D3. This is the real test for Cobblestone. I know that they had a lot of fun last week, but in reality I’m not sure they were properly tested. Last Dance is that test. LAST DANCE BY 13

Show Me Dem TDs vs Super Freaks (+3) – SMDTDs get a game against the Super Freaks here. The Freaks were pushed to D3 perhaps unfairly. I know that preseason conversations were based on Ralph Finney (one of the best players in the league) playing for them, but nobody realized that not only was he going to QB, but that he’s Nathan Peterman on top of it. This should be a good game for both teams to really find their D3 legs. SHOW ME DEM TDS BY 8

The Untouchaballs vs Cobblestone (+1) – Sam Lattuca vs Melaine Linsmair. This is more accurately Sam playing against herself 10 years ago. It’s pretty awesome. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 3

4^th and Dong vs Super Freaks (+7) – 4ND started off slow but worked hard for that Frodo tie last week. These are two teams that are relatively new to the league, but the core of 4ND has played together since the beginning of time. That gives them a slight leg up. 4^TH AND DONG BY 3

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice 43, Practice Squad 34

Today’s Feast 45, Titsburgh Feelers 6

Puckett All-Stars 30, Vaspian 8

Itches and Ohs 43, GUCCI 40

Falconies 40, Zack Attack 29

Falconies 29, Itches and Ohs 17

Buffalo Vice took one from Practice Squad early as new QB Seth filled in quite admirably for Andy Clark, who has sadly left the team in the offseason. Andy was a fantastic QB for Vice, so I’m glad they found someone of equal talent to fill in for him. They won’t miss a step. Feast vs Feelers was a matchup of two brand new teams to the TSL and quite frankly I don’t know if this means Feast is ridiculously good or Feelers are ridiculously bad. More on this story as it develops. Puckett plucked some former Quinn players and they continued winning games, as they always do. Itches and Ohs won a tight game against the “new to the TSL” Gucci, who look like they’ll have a say in the championship picture. Also, multiple messages were given to me about how cool their roman numeral jerseys are. Props. Falconies didn’t have Joe Miano, but it didn’t matter and Mike McKenrick lead them to two victories this week.

This Week’s Games:

Cunning Stunts vs Puckett All-Stars (+3) – Game of the Day potential right here. Puckett brings their new look team to the fields to take on the Stunts and Joey Batts. The Stunts took a hit this offseason with the loss of Katie Keller who had to selfishly play with her family instead. But other than that, they’re going to be just fine as these girls know what they’re doing and Joey is sort of one of the best QBs of all time (according to the Joseph Battaglia QB Rankings anyway). Let’s hear it for the girls. CUNNING STUNTS BY 3

Buffalo Vice vs Zack Attack (+9) – Zack Attack got their first taste of D4 with a loss to Falconies, as their trademark defense didn’t hold up. It doesn’t get ANY easier against the High Octane offense (does anyone use “High Octane” anymore? Did we go away from that?) of Buffalo Vice. This might be ugly if ZA doesn’t figure out what got them to D4 in the first place. BUFFALO VICE BY 17

Puckett All-Stars vs Zack Attack (+3) – The second game for both of these teams. Zack Attack did add Misty Himes from Public Enemy this offseason, so it’s not the exact same team. But again, Puckett added a lot of Quinn players and maybe even should’ve gone to D3. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 13

GUCCI vs Today’s Feast (Even) – I’m just really excited to see what happens when these two teams take the field. They’re fresh to the TSL, and both were extremely impressive in their debuts. These are the names we’re all going to learn this season. GUCCI BY 1.

Itches and Ohs vs Practice Squad (+3) – Practice Squad returns the usual roster of Lantzes and talented safeties. And not to mention B “I got attacked by a dog so I can’t ref but I can still play QB” Ford, who is still enjoying his career renaissance (google what that means B) with the Squad. Itches had PS’s number last season, and they still trot out one of the most impressive female groups in the league. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8

Breast Friends vs Itches and Ohs (+2) -  Breast Friends moved up to D4 on the strength of their 5 forfeit wins and blowout playoff loss last season. Itches and Ohs are the same squad with perhaps one or two more guys on the roster so they don’t have to play shorthanded as much. Itches has the girls to compete with a gender team that is still sort of figuring things out together. Also, it’s going to be fun to watch Travis Cleavenger-Bernal try to run away from Laura. Spoiler alert: he can’t. ITCHES AND OHS BY 3

Practice Squad vs Breast Friends (+1) – If I’m right, both of these teams will be coming off of a loss to Itches and Ohs before this game. So they have that in common. This matchup will be fun, but Practice Squad needs this one. I can’t imagine them going 0-3. The problem is that they may need a guy to rush Travis Cleavenger-Bernal, who will absolutely run around for 23 minutes before someone gets open. The problem for him may be that PS doesn’t let anyone get open. This is a very interesting matchup, and one to go to for sure if you’re just slamming Trulys on the fields looking for a game to watch. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 4

D5:

Last Week’s Game:

716 36, Spinelli’s Plumbing 27

There’s not a whole lot that happened in D5 since again, most of the division took off. Derek Pew’s new team took home a win in their first game as Spinelli’s made the jump to D5. It wasn’t horrible, but not what we’re used to seeing from them as of late.

This Week’s Games:

716 vs TOX (+7) – 716 had their impressive debut and I see they have players like James Celotto and Nick Voss on the team, which means they have talent. TOX, well, they weren’t great last year with Topper and Tommy Hughes on the team and they’ve since left. TOX merged with Juiced, who didn’t win a game last season. This doesn’t bode very well for them. 716 BY 16

Wasted Potential vs Not So Sticky (+7) – Not So Sticky returns as the fun loving bunch who is just there for the beer, I think. Wasted Potential has a lot of Potential. George Lombardo steps in for Coach Jay at QB this season, mostly because Coach Jay has to actually Coach. Makes sense. Anyway, it’ll be fun, but WASTED POTENTIAL BY 7

Come From Behind vs Lettuce Win (+6) – Come From Behind returns and all is right with the world. They take on Lettuce Win, who is a new team to the TSL, but I see a lot of old “Full Throttle” names on the roster, so they’ve been here before. COME FROM BEHIND BY 18

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Victorious Secret 41, Graves Bros 12

TMA 34, Graves Bros 32

Lenny’s Ladies 52, Travis Henry’s Kids 28

Graves Bros start the season off cold as ice, going 0-2. VS came in hard and walloped them before TMA entrusted the tip toes of Diana Bernal to get them a victory. Lenny’s Ladies beat THK in a rout, with Chris Cole throwing for them over an injured Joe K.

This Week’s Games:

TMA vs Blitzkrieg (+8) -  TMA squeaked by Graves Bros, but that was without most of their team and a backup QB. Granted, that backup QB is the GREATEST QB IN TMA HISTORY in Johnny Dio, so they didn’t miss a beat there. Still, missing Rob Rummings and Nick Smith brought TMA’s average height down to about 5’11 last game, and not having Val Testa rushing meant Diana and Lauren had to play all game in the heat. This is the long way of saying they still won and just got much better. Blitzkrieg took last week off, and they have some roster issues of their own. Word is that team all-star Allie Metzger is taking the season off, which just hurts BK’s overall game. I’m not sure they’re on TMA’s level, but nobody in D6 is. TMA BY 9

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Graves Bros (+7) – THK had a rough go of it last week against Lenny’s Ladies, as their defense, according to referee Topper, just kept the middle wide open. And then they threw a few bad deep balls and that was it. Graves Bros had a similar experience with Victorious Secret, and then they couldn’t complete the comeback against TMA late. All in all, these are two teams that need a win. GRAVES BROS BY 2

Victorious Secret vs Blitzkrieg (+6) – Jordan might have his girls dialed in already, and I’m not sure Blitzkrieg, who is shaking off the rust from the offseason, will be ready for that. Add into the fact that I’m not certain BK has the girls to keep up the scoring to run with VS and well, the Secret’s out. VICTORIOUS SECRET BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. After last season saw some Week 1 changes to the league with Juiced and The Woodpeckers flipping, will we see any this season? It’s probably too late for that since it would’ve happened this week. I won’t lie, looking at the rosters, there’s some pretty obvious flips that should happen. TOX is a D6 team, and TMA should be in D5. It’s not even close. I’m thinking Puckett should probably be in D3, and Super Freaks might want to get moved down as well. I think I would flip Show Me Dem TDs and Buffalo Vice too.

2. Speaking of Buffalo Vice, what’s the controversy there? There isn’t one. Andy Clark was a great QB for them and they added Seth to replace him. I mean, maybe Seth moves a little better, but Andy could throw it farther. It’s a wash. The last thing The Godfather would ever do is create more controversy so trust me when I say that this is a non-issue. Vice won 40-34. That’s how their games always go.

3. What’s going on with people on 3 rosters? Well, that’s fun too. Lenny is sitting in his secret bunker fuming at Topper for allowing people to play on multiple teams, I know it. Anyway, with gender teams and whatnot, it gets confusing, and there are multiple people (mostly women) on multiple rosters. They’re just simply going to have to make a choice and all will be well. If this becomes more of a headache, you all better start preparing to go back to the old rules next season.

4. What’s going on with the fields? Did you SEE Field 2’s lines? The lines weren’t the greatest, we know. Topper isn’t the one that lines them, he contracts that out to the bar to do. I know that they seemed similar to the wine tournament fields so everyone assumed it was Topper and Jeff Krol, but it wasn’t. There should be a fix for this week.

5. Did the bar really almost explode? What about the bees? I guess a breaker in the bar started a small fire that if it wasn’t caught really could’ve caused a HUGE problem. Special shout out to league electrician Gordon Kus who took the time to fix the issue according to Topper. That’s pretty nice of him. As for the apparent bee infestation, I don’t know if they had someone come in and spray or not, so good luck with that this week.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1. I tell you all of the time to wear sunscreen, so I’m really hoping you guys did last week. I heard people were literally melting all over the fields. Be safe out there! Stay hydrated please. No, seltzers don’t count. Drink actual water.

2. Shout out to the refs that stepped up to help out this week and last week. I know we have a shortage with summer still happening. If you want to step in and help referee, PLEASE TALK TO TOPPER, COACH JAY, JOE K, EMILY CURRY, JEFF KROL, ETC. Pretty much anyone. Just tell them and we’ll get you set up.

3. The TSL Podcast needs a new intro. I love hearing about Lenny and Rameer, but its time we move on.

4. Best games to watch each hour:

               10:00 – Puckett All-Stars vs Cunning Stunts

               11:00 – A&A vs When Dove Cries

               12:00 – Cobblestone vs The Untouchaballs

               1:00 – Passed Our Prime vs The Notorious BNB

               2:00 – Itches and Ohs vs Breast Friends

               3:00 – Come From Behind vs Lettuce Win

5. If you’re reading this, and you’re saying to yourself “Man this muppet got everything wrong about our team!!”, REACH OUT TO ME. I get emails from lots of teams and I have spies at the fields that give me other info. If you don’t tell those people about your games, or email me directly at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. I have ZERO idea what to say about your games or who your best players are. Plus, I just love talking to the people in the league I don’t get to be a part of anymore!

6. Also, remember, the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee sets my lines every week. Don’t complain to me about the line, complain to them. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I just pick the games.

7. I get that Tight Ends In Motion probably has the best group of females in the league. But I really can’t stress just how good the Scared Hitless girls are. Jaimie Warren is a former MVP. Cat Peters is tremendous. Carly DeWeese doesn’t get nearly enough credit as she gets lost in the shuffle at times. And now they add Melanie? AND THEY TRIED TO GO BACK TO D3? For shame.

8. Topper doesn’t know who you are. He’s stressed this before. If you see him, he’s more than happy to get to know you. Just proceed to get him a drink and chat him up. He still wont remember you, but he’ll tell people about you and they’ll remember you. It’s easy.

9. People said the fields were kind of quiet in Week 1, and then they remembered Trish Esposito wasn’t there. That checks out.

10. The amount of people that are already rumored to be planning to leave their teams for other squads for the Spring after one week is alarming. The whispers have already begun and there could be a lot of player movement in the offseason. I got more than one comment from my sources about this. Hearts are going to be broken. Is it yours?

And with that, Week 2 is 24 hours or so away from happening! Please take care of yourselves and have a great time! And try not to complain too much. It’s hot and nobody cares.

-GF