WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 07 October 2022 14:07

Published: Friday, 07 October 2022 14:07

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 3300

            Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is almost here. What do you mean we’ve been playing for 7 weeks already? That’s just the preseason. Everyone knows the TSL “regular season” is just an excuse to practice for the end of season tournament known as the playoffs (except for those of you in D4, who will sadly have 2 teams miss out on the Playoff Excitement) and test out your livers at the bar.

            The Regular Season isn’t exactly “pointless”, as it fosters rivalries, fun times, and really gives teams a chance to figure things out. And of course, while only D4 has teams in danger of not being a part of the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality, the other divisions (besides YOU D3) have bye weeks to play for.

            “But all wise and knowing Godfather, why would a team want a bye week? Don’t they want to play football and not get rusty?!?!”

            Only if they’re idiots. If there’s one thing that can be promised for the playoffs, it's that crazy things will happen. Top seeds will lose to bottom seeds. Favorites for the championship will be sent home early. Even the “Slam Dunks” out there. One of the biggest reasons everyone loves this league is because everyone (except for you, Freeballers) has a legit chance to make some magic happen and win the championship. Getting the bye week ensures that you’ll be on the field during Championship Saturday, and that’s the only way to guarantee that. Or, well, being in D2 and finishing 2nd to play The Replacements. That might be a guarantee too.

            So before we get into what’s at stake this week for each divisional race, let’s remind the TSL Universe about the answer to the most asked question in the final week of ANY TSL regular season: What are the tiebreakers?

The first tiebreaker, of course, is “Points”, which are awarded as 3 points for a win, and 1 for a Tie. But most of you know that already. The next tiebreaker is Head to Head. Most teams have played each other at least once, so if you beat the team you’re tied with, you finish above them. Makes sense. But what if you played twice and split the series? Well, we move on to Head to Head Score Differential. What that means is combined score in all of your games against the team you’re tied with, apparently among common opponents? I don’t fully understand Topper’s weird formulas either. If you’re magically tied after this, it goes to overall Point Differential, and then just Points For. If you’re tied after all of that, your captains will be locked in a cage against Cookie Monster, Elmo, and B’s Brother, and whoever escapes first will win. Basically, beat the team you’re playing and don’t leave it up to something Topper invented.

There are a few things at stake in just about every single division, so the games this week matter to a degree. Let’s get into it.

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Legends 36, Tight Ends In Motion 30

Sticky Bandits 36, Eyes Downtown 24

Grey Hair Don’t Care 33, Scared Hitless 33 (TIE)

Passed Our Prime 21, The Replacements 0 (Forfeit)

The Legends immediately get their win back and I was told there were fireworks afterwards. We’ve got ourselves a D1 rivalry! We haven’t had teams yelling at each other since the glory days of Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown, and what do these two “disagreements” full of smack talk have in common? Boccio and Heather. Not a surprise. Sticky Bandits finally beat someone ahead of them in the standings, as they begin to peak at the right time. Grey Hair Don’t Care and Scared Hitless battle hard against each other in a tie, and Hogan is saved the embarrassment from losing to The Replacements as they had to forfeit.

What’s At Stake: The fate of the TSL Universe. But not really. Tight Ends In Motion can secure the bye week with a win this week in a D1/D2 Crossover Game with Frodo Swaggins. If the Legends win, and TEIM loses, they get the bye. As for the others, Sticky can win both of their games and finish 3rd overall over Eyes Downtown, and the bottom half of the division can get all jumbled up as well.

This Week’s Games:

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+6) - This game means a lot for the Legends, as both Sean and Joey were in my email inbox this week crying over their rankings for some reason. As a result, I think they’re in “prove it” mode, and they’ll want to finish out strong. Eyes Downtown doesn’t have much to play for, they’re in 3rd or 4th either way. LEGENDS BY 12

Sticky Bandits vs Passed Our Prime (+20) - What a season for POP. It just feels like they were never able to fully replace Kyle/Sean and as a result they’ve suffered for it. A date with TEIM/Legends in the first round seems to be their fate. Sticky, however, is on the upswing. It hasn’t been a top season for them, but they’ve still proceeded to show up each week. They should blow POP out. STICKY BANDITS BY 17

Sticky Bandits vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - Grey Hair attempts to have that late season magic once more, but it's proving harder in D1. 2-5-1 isn’t a season to remember and chances are they’ll be running for the bus (literally, i believe) in this one. Sticky needs this game to probably secure 3rd place, so they’ll be all business. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

Scared Hitless vs Passed Our Prime (+6) - Scared Hitless seems to have stagnated a little bit this season, perhaps they’re just trying to get to the playoffs and then kick it up a notch. I was surprised to see them tie Grey Hair, and it feels like they’re ripe for the picking against a hungrier POP squad. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 2

SUPER IMPORTANT D1/D2 CROSSOVER GAME

Tight Ends In Motion vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - I hope both teams are at full strength, because it’ll be nice to see if the rumors of “Frodo is a D1 team” are true. In reality, other than seeing how well they’d fare in D1, Frodo has nothing to play for. They’ve clinched the number one seed in D2 (even with a loss) thanks to beating NPI worse than NPI beat them. TEIM is playing for the bye in D1, so they “need” this game a bit more. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 12

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

Frodo Swaggins 51, No Punt Intended 12

Buffalo Vice Retro 37, The Untouchaballs 36

Freeballers 34, DILFs 32

Frodo beats up on a weak NPI team to claim the D2 bye for the playoffs, Buffalo Vice Retro upsets The Untouchaballs as whispers about replacing Seth for the future start to get louder, and the Freeballers probably got the DILFs drunk at the bar before the game, beating them by 2 to take sole possession of 3rd place.

What’s At Stake:  Honestly, not too much. Frodo Swaggins has already clinched 1st and the bye, and No Punt Intended has already clinched 2nd place and The Replacements (7 seed, also a basic bye). That leaves the 3-6, 4-5 matchups to be decided, and that’s where things get fun. If the Freeballers win, they finish 3rd, with the Dilfs/BVR winner in 4th. If the Dilfs win, and The Untouchaballs beat The Replacements, UT finishes ahead of BVR based on the head to head differential. If Freeballers lose, and BVR wins, BVR finishes 3rd based on a 20-13 victory over Freeballers. If Freeballers lose and Dilfs win, Freeballers win that tiebreaker. The point is, a lot of shaking up can happen here between the 3-6 teams in the division.

This Week’s Games:

No Punt Intended vs Freeballers (+7) - This game probably means next to nothing for NPI, as they’re more focused on keeping everyone healthy for the playoffs. It means a lot to the Freeballers who are desperate to be considered legit contenders for the throne in D2, but are still seen as a step or two below the Frodo/NPIs of the world. Even with that, I expect NPI to barely show up and Freeballers take home a big win. FREEBALLERS BY 8

DILFs vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+7) - As described above, a pretty big game for each team, although I’m sure they care who they play in the playoffs. Props to BVR for finally seeming to figure things out. They’re winning and looking a lot more like a contender than they had in the first few weeks of the season. The DILFs are right on schedule with their 4-5 or 3-6 record, and then Dubey will show up in the playoffs and they’ll end up playing in the finals somehow. BVR keeps the good times rolling. BUFFALO VICE RETRO BY 3

The Untouchaballs vs The Replacements (+25) - Not exactly the season that UT dreamed when they joined D2, but then again I guess I could say the same for The Replacements too. Not much to say here, Burr and Company get it together before the playoffs. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 19

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Scott Seniors Starting 34, Bullet Club 25

Bullet Club 39, Can’t Touch This 26

Practice Squad 37, 716 28

Get Schwifty 46, Can’t Touch This 8

716 27, Get Schwifty 16

Mountain Dew Me 42, Itches and Ohs 25

D3 continues to be pretty tight everywhere in the standings, Bullet Club drops a game to Scott Seniors Starting before going 1-1 after beating Can’t Touch This, who would lose to Get Schwifty, who would then lose to 716, who had just lost to Practice Squad. Somewhere in there, Mountain Dew Me smacked around Itches and Ohs too.

What’s At Stake: Seeding galore! It’s an 8 team division here, so everyone is going to make the playoffs. But who’s playing who? Bullet Club is leading the division at 6-2, and even with a victory over Get Schwifty, they can’t clinch 1st overall. The “controversial” loss to Mountain Dew Me means that if MDM wins both of their games this week, They’ll finish 1st overall in D3. 716 is currently in 2nd place at 5-3, but they play MDM. If 716 wins this game, Bullet Club loses theirs, and MDM goes on to beat Can't Touch This, all of them will be 6-3. Some fancy tiebreaker math says that in this scenario, the Head To Head games would have 716 at 2-1, Bullet Club at 1-1, and MDM at 1-2, in which case, MDM gets eliminated and it goes to BC vs 716, which BC beat them, and we’d finish Bullet Club 1st, 716 2nd, MDM 3rd. I think. This is when Topper’s magic machine just does its work and everything I just said is probably wrong. It just gets worse from there. Practice Squad and Itches and Ohs play for who finishes 8th. The winner can move up higher with a Get Schwifty loss, and if CTT loses both of their games they could move up as high as 5th. CTT could win both and jump from 6th to 4th. This entire division is a complete mess seedings wise.

This Week’s Games:

716 vs Mountain Dew Me (+3) - Game of the day potential. 716 already beat MDM once before, and a win here gives them 2nd place for sure. MDM has been on a pretty good streak this season after a slow start, and they have 1st place in their sights. I’m voting for max chaos in the standings. 716 BY 1

Mountain Dew Me vs Can’t Touch This (+10) - CTT could get TONS of momentum with two massive wins over MDM (and SSS after this). People have talked for the longest time about how handsome/talented Ryan Dougherty is, and it was this time last season that CTT shocked the world and rolled to the D4 title game. With Anthony “The Better” Battaglia there as well now, maybe its time for an upset. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 7

Scott Seniors Starting vs Can’t Touch This (+8) - SSS gets a downgrade at QB this week as Scotty Dro takes over for Dylan Jaloza who subbed last weekend. CTT might shock the world an hour earlier, but not twice. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 8

Bullet Club vs Get Schwifty (+9) - Bullet Club took the victory in Week 1 of the season when these two teams met. Since then, Schwifty has been up and down, but they’ve been better as of late as the team starts to meld together. BC has lost 2 of their last 3, but they’ve been in both of the losses. BC will know before the game starts if it means anything (MDM going 2-0 means BC will be 2nd no matter what) which will affect the outcome. BULLET CLUB BY 8

Practice Squad vs Itches and Ohs (EVEN) - These two teams already tied once, so they’re evenly matched. Don’t look now though, but Practice Squad might be starting to get it together at the right time. Meanwhile, Itches and Ohs feels like they’re just off this whole season. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 27, Spinelli’s Plumbing 18

Buffalo Vice 50, TOX 8

Buffalo Vice 47, Travis Henry’s Kids 20

Puckett All-Stars 48, Travis Henry’s Kids 19

Zack Attack 39, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 8

Zack Attack 48, Cobblestone 12

Cunning Stunts 53, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 36

Vaspian shuts Spinelli’s down and announces they’re a force in D4. Buffalo Vice goes off against teams that they were in the “race” for missing the playoffs in, and they clinch a playoff spot. Puckett continues to dominate. Zack Attack showed last week was a hiccup, and they just continue to dump points on the league, going 2-0. THK and ILF both go 0-2 in games they should probably be trying harder to win in. The Stunts also walk to 8-0 with a relatively easy win.

What’s At Stake: Not much at the top. The Stunts will make a run at being 9-0, and Puckett is right behind them at 7-1. There will be some movement for the 3-7 seeds, but the REAL fun is right there at the bottom of the standings. Right now, NOBODY is officially eliminated from the playoffs (probably). Our wild tiebreakers can come into play for who makes and misses the playoffs between THK (2-6), Cobblestone (1-7), and TOX (1-7). Here are the scenarios:

            -If THK wins against the Cunning Stunts, THK clinches the 8 seed, TOX and Cobblestone are eliminated.

            -If THK loses and :

1. Cobblestone wins against Vaspian, TOX wins against Zack Attack - All teams are tied with a 2-7 record, which goes to Head to Head between them all. All 3 teams are 1-1 against each other. This means its up to Topper’s Magic Machine after that, and I still don’t know what will happen. I *think* TOX MAKES PLAYOFFS, THK and Cobblestone Eliminated, but in reality this could be completely wrong. In the interest of TOX having something to play for, I’m going to say this is what happens.
2. Cobblestone wins, TOX loses - COBBLESTONE MAKES PLAYOFFS, THK (as a result of a 27-7 loss to Cobblestone) and TOX Eliminated
3. Cobblestone loses, TOX wins - THK MAKES PLAYOFFS, Cobblestone and TOX (as a result of 41-19 loss to THK) Eliminated
4. Cobblestone loses, TOX loses - THK MAKES PLAYOFFS, COBBLESTONE AND TOX ELIMINATED.

Wild things are at stake here.

This Week’s Games:

Puckett All-Stars vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - Puckett has been fantastic since becoming “All We Do Is Qwinn Lite”, and it's awesome. They’ve been incredibly fun to hear about all season and this is no different. Spinelli’s got a bit humbled last weekend, and I expect a bounce back. Take the over in this one. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 8

Buffalo Vice vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+8)  - Buffalo Vice is really starting to figure it out, and at the same time ILF is struggling. They’re without their QB for the rest of the season and they just look discombobulated. It's not the year of the ILF. BUFFALO VICE BY 12

Vaspian vs Cobblestone (+6) - Cobblestone isn’t dead, but there’s not much to suggest that they’re up for this challenge. It’s been an off year for Darryl, and unfortunately I think it ends with him and his crew missing the playoffs. VASPIAN BY 9

Cunning Stunts vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+17) - The entire world knows what the girls can do. They’re more than likely going to score on every possession, so THK needs to follow suit. They’ll need to get gender TDs along the way, but with the playoffs on the line, nobody would blame John Langley for just throwing bombs to Pistol Pete on every single play. The girls are very good, but there isn’t one of them that will be able to match up with him. Of course, does this essentially count as a playoff game? If so, +17 might not be enough points to give with Playoff Langley hanging around. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

Zack Attack vs TOX (+13) - TOX comes into this game with a playoff spot potentially on the line. As stated above, TOX needs a Cobblestone win to stay alive in the playoff race and they’ll know ahead of time if they get it or not. Hopefully they get the weak version of Zack Attack at 3:00 and sneak one out. Probably not though. ZACK ATTACK BY 18

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Come From Behind 26, Woodpeckers 14

Passing While Intoxicated 24, TMA 14

Woodpeckers 45, Today’s Feast 8

Let’s Get Reccked 35, Today’s Feast 22

Come From Behind continues to roll against any team that isn’t TMA. Speaking of TMA, they’ve now lost two in a row and seem to be primed to blow it in the playoffs yet again. The Woodpeckers hung tough with CFB and then blew out Today’s Feast, who went 0-2 this week as they also lost to LGR.

What’s At Stake: TMA and CFB have the two bye weeks locked up. If they both win, TMA takes the #1 seed based off their 2 wins over CFB this year. There can be some movement in the 3-6 matchups. If LGR beats the Woodpeckers, they can jump Today’s Feast if TF loses to TMA. PWI can finish 3rd with a win over CFB, but a loss and a WP win gives the Peckers 3rd.

This Week’s Games:

Come From Behind vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - PWI seems to get the better of TMA, but not so much for CFB. Come From Behind gets ready for the playoffs. COME FROM BEHIND BY 18

Woodpeckers vs Let’s Get Reccked (+7) - Woodpeckers have been pretty good as of late, now that their team shows up. They really got in the zone they were in just before they surprised everyone with a D6 title. They’ll be a hard out in the playoffs. WOODPECKERS BY 10

TMA vs Today’s Feast (+12) - If there’s a team in the TSL that needs a “get right” game, it’s TMA. They’ve been losing games they should be winning, and they know it. They’re too talented to mess up another “should be” title at this point, right? Today’s Feast has been as good as they ever were, but they’re just not quite on TMA’s level currently. TMA BY 8

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg 42, Superior Moser Squad 9

Not So Sticky 27, Punt Cakes 26

BK and NSS continue to dominate the division, as BK takes a nice win over SMS and NSS sneaks by Punt Cakes.

What’s At Stake: NSS already has the #1 seed wrapped up, as they have the tiebreaker over Blitzkrieg by 1 point (again, I think anyway, can’t stress this enough). Right now, SMS and Lenny’s Ladies have the 3 and 4 seeds. SMS is guaranteed to be either of those seeds, but Lenny’s Ladies could lose to NSS and the Tuddies this weekend to end up in a potential three way tie (if the Cakes and the Tuddies win their other games as well). There are quite a few options here as well.

This Week’s Games:

Superior Moser Squad vs Punt Cakes (+2) - SMS is looking to end the season on a high note after a few hiccups,  while Punt Cakes is getting to the finish line looking pretty strong. They just took on NSS and almost beat them. They’re peaking at the right moment. PUNT CAKES BY 8

Lenny’s Ladies vs Two Tuddies (+8) - Lenny’s Ladies look awesome some weeks, and other weeks they just can’t quite get into the end zone. They shouldn’t have that issue against the Tuddies, who are still working on how defense works, and I’m not sure the Tud Buds have the females to keep up with the gender TDs. LENNY’S LADIES BY 6

Not So Sticky vs Lenny’s Ladies (+13) - The last time these two teams met, NSS blew out the Ladies with Jeff Krol at QB. Now they’re going to get their “usual” QB behind center, (but not their best, Christine)which means things might be even more of a blowout here. NOT SO STICKY BY 20

Blitzkrieg vs Two Tuddies (+10) - Blitzkrieg looks every bit the part of a Spring D5 team whether they win or not. The Tuddies are just not on their level right now. BLITZKRIEG BY 17

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. What’s the most interesting race we have this weekend? Considering that not a single team in D4 is officially eliminated yet, it HAS to be that race. A Cobblestone win at 1:00 puts INCREDIBLE pressure on John Langley, and THK will have to beat the Stunts to get into the playoffs. On top of that, TOX will also be playing at the same time as THK, and they’ll be going for a playoff spot too. A Cobblestone loss at 1:00 is the worst thing, as THK will have clinched and there won’t be any drama at 3:00.\
2. What happened between Legends and Tight Ends In Motion? That’s easy. Alphas are going to alpha. Lots of smack talk was flying around by both teams in a close game. With all due respect to the rest of D1 (or, at least, Eyes Downtown and Sticky Bandits), we NEED a Legends vs TEIM rubber match for the D1 title. That’s just great watching.
3. What’s going on in Breakfast Club? The first round of the playoffs start this week. To nobody’s surprise, Amber Alert finished 6-0 and got a bye. Steph Infection went 5-1 and took the other. The Special Kay’s got first overall pick Jeremy Streit back and have since gone 2-0 to jump into BC contention. The Messy Jessie’s still haven’t had a game with a full team, unfortunately. Perhaps the first playoff game is the perfect time to do so?
4. We have an excellent week of TSL football with lots of games having meaning. What ruins it? First off, it’s Fall Fest weekend and like every year, people will be leaving the fields right away to get down to Ellicottville so they can stand at bars that are overcrowded and 6 people deep. Some won’t even show up to the games because they have a bus or a house down there. That’s going to skew some rosters for sure. The other issue is that Buffalo is looking like it’s going to be QUITE windy this Saturday, with winds getting up to 20 mph in 50 degree weather. It’s not going to be great. But that usually gives us some fun games and interesting results.
5. How do I sign up for Halloween Bowl? For anyone that’s officially heard, Jeff Krol announced on the podcast that the TSL will be having a fun, costume bowl like we used to do for “The 4 o’clock game”. This will include drinking on the fields and playing in costumes. If you want to sign up, you can tell Jeff, Joe K, Emily Schilling, or anyone else and they should be taking down names. The hope is to get 36 people (24 guys, 12 women at least) to dress up and play some costume football for a day. It’s ALWAYS a good time. It’s happening on 10/29, the time is TBD but will more than likely be around 11 or 12. The bar is also giving “Spooky Specials” to costumed participants. Buy a costume, put on an old one, and get out there!

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1. I can’t believe football is already in its last week. The season goes by so incredibly fast every single time. Hopefully you’re all cherishing these last few weeks.
2. The Banquet is here! Officially, the World’s Greatest Party, our “Wedding without the Wedding” is coming back after THREE years without it. Our last banquet was in December of 2019, before Covid ruined the last two. It’ll be at the Hotel Lafayette, and while the cost of the ticket is yet to be determined, it's the party of the century. There will be TONS of drinking and dancing and celebrating. There will be an open bar, dinner, lots and lots of dancing with your favorite TSL celebrities, and more! Prepare yourselves and keep that date open!
3. Speaking of other things, the TSL Winter Indoor League is making its return as well. And before you ask, NO they won’t be restricting rosters and anyone can play with anyone. There WILL be an “OPEN” division and a “REC” division so that D4-D6 teams can join without having to go against the D1 teams that will be filing into the OPEN division. The league will run from January to March again. More details coming soon.
4. Breakfast Club predictions, playoff edition:
1. BDSM 44, Messy Jessie’s 30
2. Special Kay’s 32, Jennacide 20
5. Best Games Of the Day:
   1. 10:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs 716
   2. 11:00 - DILFS vs Buffalo Vice Retro
   3. 12:00 - Scott Senior’s Starting vs Can’t Touch This
   4. 1:00 - Cobblestone vs Vaspian
   5. 2:00 - Tight Ends in Motion vs Frodo Swaggins
   6. 3:00 - Practice Squad vs Itches And Ohs
6. 3 teams that really need a win: Itches and Ohs, TMA, Cobblestone
7. 3 teams that are really good right now: Mountain Dew Me, Cunning Stunts, Not So Sticky
8. It’s still really sad to hear that Scott Senior hasn’t started a single game of football with the team that’s named after him starting football games.
9. Next week is the full on playoff write up, arguably my favorite one to write each year. If you have information about your team that I can use for it, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. asap.
10. Last but not least, I know many people feel slighted by their rankings in the “Top WRs” so perhaps we should have a skills competition for you to prove the committee wrong? Put your money where your mouth is.

The road to Social Co-Ed Football Glory is right in front of you all. Go out there and take it.

-GF OUT

WEEK 6 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 23 September 2022 13:09

Published: Friday, 23 September 2022 13:09

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 4664

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, it’s time for you to put up or shut up. The TSL Fall 2022 season is officially on the back end as we roll into Week 6. Teams early season hopes have been dashed, while others are just starting to figure out how to play football this season. Some teams have dominated from the start and continue to, other teams have begun looking into something more their speed for the spring, like competitive hide and go seek or mini golf at Putt-Putt Golf and Games.

While the Fall 2022’s story is only half over, we’ve begun to realize where it’s going to go. At this point, teams are who they are. Barring a magical comeback nobody expected (that’s also legal, for the record) or a tragic injury that can wipe out a team’s championship dreams, it’s pretty easy to see the path most teams will be taking to the playoffs.

Once we get there, of course, all of this completely goes out the window as chaos tends to reign in the playoffs, which is what makes them so exciting. After five very hot weeks that should’ve convinced any TSLer that was still on the fence that global warming is real, I’ve been told that the weather has finally broken in Buffalo, and starting Saturday you’ll be seeing actual “football weather” temperatures in the low to mid 60s (It’ll still be 80 here in Des Moines). What does that mean? It means less sunburn, more windy games, perhaps some rain and what equates to a slightly different season than the one we’ve seen so far.

So let’s see how we got here:

D1:

This Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion 38, Grey Hair Don’t Care 8

Tight Ends In Motion 47, Legends 16

Legends 50, Scared Hitless 42

Eyes Downtown 44, Sticky Bandits 15

Frodo Swaggins 43, Passed Our Prime 41 (D1/D2 Crossover Game)

Tight Ends In Motion are back, and after abusing the Legends, they’ve established themselves as the D1 team to beat. They also tacked on a win against Grey Hair. The Legends would go on to be 1-1 on the day, getting a win against a very spry Scared Hitless team. Speaking of back, Eyes Downtown is starting to turn on the jets with a big win over Sticky Bandits. And lastly, Frodo Swaggins continues to prove they’re D1 material with an “upset” over Passed Our Prime in the crossover game.

Championship Odds:

The Contenders:

Tight Ends In Motion (3-1)

Legends (7-1)

Eyes Downtown (7-1)

The Pretenders:

Sticky Bandits (10-1)

Scared Hitless (15-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (20-1)

Passed Our Prime (25-1)

The Season So Far: Tight Ends In Motion are MORE than “back”. The TSL’s #1 ranked team overall are 6-0, and looked so significantly better than the Legends this weekend that I don’t know if TEIM can be beat. The Legends are 6-1, only losing to TEIM so far, but their defense hasn’t been very good and the chances of a repeat seem a lot dimmer than they did a few weeks ago. Eyes Downtown started a little shaky, but they’re 4-2 and have been playing quite well for a bit now, as the new players are finally starting to mesh into the system. It seems to be a three horse race for the title at this point in time. Sticky just isn’t the Sticky we’ve seen in the past. The offense seems downright anemic at times, even if the defense has held up. If one of the “bottom four” teams in D1 can figure it out in the next few weeks, however, it’s the Bandits. Scared Hitless is slowly showing that they can hang in D1, and if they keep the band together for the Spring (and maybe add a piece in there), they’ll be just fine. They’re doing okay on both sides of the ball as they adjust a little better each week across the board. Grey Hair seems a bit out of place in D1, and the biggest issue for them has been their defense. They struggle to stop anyone, and their offense isn’t good enough to overcome that this year. Lastly, Passed Our Prime made the jump up after winning D2, they lost the crossover game, and they’re not having the season they dreamed of in the offseason. They have the talent to give a team fits in any game, but it hasn’t really been put together this year for whatever reason.

This Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion vs Scared Hitless (+8) - Well, this is a fun matchup to get started on this week. TEIM’s win over the Legends didn’t just show the world they’re the team to beat, it also gave them the very important tiebreaker win in case these teams end up tied. Right now, they’re in the driver’s seat for the bye week as well. As much as missing a week of football isn’t fun, its a lot better than potentially ending up in the 2v3 game and playing Legends/Eyes Downtown in Round 2. SH just narrowly lost to the Legends, so this is yet another “prove it” game for them, and I do think they’ll be ready for the game, but TEIM is just everything right now. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10

Eyes Downtown vs Passed Our Prime (+15) - Eyes Downtown has an outside shot at the bye week, but it’s hard to envision TEIM losing multiple games this season. As a result, they seem locked into the potential 2v3 matchup in the playoffs. That means they have 3 more games to continue to come together as a team. They’re going to be a tough out for anyone at this point. As for POP, there’s no denying their male talent, but they’re in desperate need of another stud female to really make a difference here. That’s priority #1 for Hogan’s offseason. I can feel it. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 13

D1/D2 Crossover Game

Sticky Bandits vs The Replacements (+20) - It comes as no surprise to anyone in the TSL that as soon as Jeff Krol starts helping Topper with the schedule, Sticky gets the crossover game against the 50th ranked TSL team. We’ll completely ignore that nobody had any idea heading into the season what would unfold. There isn’t much to say here, except that Sticky gets a much needed slumpbuster. Sometimes when things aren’t going well, you just take home the last girl (or guy) in the bar at 3am and don’t tell your friends for a while. STICKY BANDITS BY 25

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice Retro 35, The Replacements 6

DILFs 48, The Untouchaballs 46

No Punt Intended 54, Freeballers 29

No Punt Intended 36, DILFs 21

Buffalo Vice Retro 20, Freeballers 13

Buffalo Vice Retro was almost the story of the week in D2, as they finally got in the win column not once, but twice! While that was well deserved, the story of the week is truly the arrival of No Punt Intended as a very, very real threat to Frodo’s hold on D2. Its only thing to dunk on the Freeballers (who went 0-2), and another thing to beat the DILFs pretty handily. Speaking of the DILFs, some late game heroics by Rogo lead to a big win over the Untouchaballs in the game of the day.

Championship Odds:

The Contenders:

Frodo Swaggins (3-1)

No Punt Intended (3-1)

DILFs (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (6-1)

The Pretenders:

Buffalo Vice Retro (20-1)

Freeballers (20-1)

The Replacements:

The Replacements (10,578,258 to 1)

The Season So Far: Frodo Swaggins came out firing from the get go, running to a 5-0 lead, winning their crossover game, and looking every bit the only dominant team in D2, starting the “These guys should probably be in D1” conversations all over the league. And then, No Punt Intended started playing. Despite losing to Scared Hitless in a wild crossover game for their first game as a team, NPI has been on a tear themselves, beating the bottom teams in D2 to end up 4-1, and about the same averages in Points For and Against as Frodo. They’ve played very similar teams so far. The DILFs just escaped The Untouchaballs, but they’re right where they always are at this point: somewhere in the middle of the standings, hovering around .500. This season they’re just 3-4 instead of 4-3. The Untouchaballs are 2-3, but those losses are as follows: lost by 2 to the DILFs, lost by 2 to Frodo, and they lost the crossover game to Tight Ends In Motion. They’re MORE than fine, and they’ll be able to compete for this title as well. On one hand, Buffalo Vice Retro has been abysmal offensively, and looked out of place all season. On the other hand, they’re 2-0 in their last two games. It’s all about perspective. Finding their offense in the second half of the season is imperative for any form of a playoff run. The Freeballers are a football team. But are they a good one? Not really. Other than a surprising win over the DILFs early on, this team has gotten kicked in the teeth in every game they’ve played if we ignore the “oh we’ll run up the score to look good against The Replacements” game. This team is just missing that special something they’ve had in the past. Finally, The Replacements. It’s okay. You picked to be in D2 not really knowing what was in store. I hope you’re not completely down on yourselves and you come back in the spring in the proper division (D5?) so you can start playing some good games. It happens.

This Week’s Games:

Frodo Swaggins vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+14) - Frodo looks to come out hot as they can feel NPI nipping at their heels for the bye. BVR is just looking to build on last week’s big wins, but this just isn’t the game for them. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 12

Frodo Swaggins vs No Punt Intended (EVEN) - Absolutely the game of the day, the top 2 teams in D2 get to learn about each other this weekend. Both teams have good guys you haven’t really heard of much, both teams have washed up former WRs as QBs now, and both teams have talented females. This is a coin flip, so I’m flipping one. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 3

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Bullet Club 46, 716 26

Can’t Touch This 38, Practice Squad 32

Get Schwifty 29, Scott Seniors Starting 14

Itches and Ohs 22, Get Schwifty 12

Mountain Dew Me 34, Scott Seniors Starting 16

Bullet Club puts in another good effort against 716, moving to 5-0 on the season. Can’t Touch This evens their record at 2-2 with a nice win over a struggling Practice Squad. Get Schwifty finally gets a win, beating SSS who are doing their usual slow down after a nice start thing, going 0-2 on the day. And Itches and Ohs took a win from Get Schwifty as well.

Championship Odds:

The Contenders:

Bullet Club (4-1)

Scott Senior’s Starting (5-1)

The Kind Of Contenders:

Mountain Dew Me (8-1)

Itches and Ohs (10-1)

716 (10-1)

Can’t Touch This (12-1)

The Pretenders:

Get Schwifty (17-1)

Practice Squad (25-1)

The Season So Far: Bullet Club remembered how to play football, and the move to D3 was the right one for sure. They’re playing well on both sides of the ball, and after half a season have established themselves as the team to beat in D3. Scott Senior’s Starting can score quite well, but they’re rough on the defensive side of the ball which has led to some questionable losses. Mountain Dew Me is 3-1, but other than a win over SSS (which shouldn’t go unnoticed), they’ve split with a bad Practice Squad team, and squeaked out a win over Get Schwifty. They’re 2-1 against the worst teams in the division, so there’s a lot to be learned about them over the next 4 weeks. Itches and Ohs are another team that just feels off to me. They’re not scoring like they normally would, but on the plus side they’ve seemed to get better on defense. You can’t take them lightly. 716 has a great roster on paper but it seems like they’re struggling to get on the same page. They’re only 2-2, so there’s a lot of room to grow even in this season. Same goes for Can’t Touch This, who are a mirror image of 716 in that they’re 2-2 with a strong armed QB. They really need to step it up on defense, and they can make some waves here as well. Get Schwifty has a nice mix of new and old players, but right now they’re not putting anything together. The jury is still out here, but it doesn’t look too promising. Practice Squad is all over the place. The offense isn’t consistent this time around and they look to be fighting the ball a bunch. Their usually stout defense is worst in the division. Sometimes its just not your year, and that might be what’s happening here.

This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs Mountain Dew Me (+8) - If MDM is going to be a legit D3 contender, a win here cements that. That gives them two wins over quality D3 teams, and they’ll hold any tiebreaker edges. MDM’s speed against the aging, veteran BC is going to be a fun watch. This might be the hardest game left for BC as they attempt to go from 0-9 to 9-0 in one season. BULLET CLUB BY 12

Scott Senior’s Starting vs 716 (+9) - Basically write everything I had for MDM above and apply it to 716. They’ve got a big “prove it” game against SSS this week after losing to BC last weekend. If any of these teams were bothered by only being labeled as “kind of” contenders, this is the week to really prove it. Meanwhile, SSS is on cruise control, but they’ll be looking to snap out of the funk. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 8

Mountain Dew Me vs 716 (+3) - And on top of it all, these two have to play each other. If they’re truly bothered by being labeled a “kind of” contender, here’s your prove it game. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 2

Itches and Ohs vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - D3 stays on fire this week with this matchup between two teams that are putting the finishing touches on really figuring it out this season. I think the Itches and Ohs defense plays right into the strengths of Can’t Touch This, and we’re going to see a high scoring affair. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

Get Schwifty vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - The two current “pretenders” who are both in dire need of another win this season get their best chances to do so in this one. These two teams are pretty even, and while PS is struggling on defense, GS isn’t able to take advantage of that with its not too great offense. Look for B to finally get into a groove this season. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Spinelli’s Plumbing 54, Travis Henry’s Kids 30

Buffalo Vice 32, Cobblestone 22

Cunning Stunts 51, Zack Attack 48

Puckett All-Stars 46, TOX 12

The high scoring offenses of the Stunts, Spinelli’s, and Puckett were all on display this week, as all three teams that have scored over 240 points so far this season put up huge numbers. Special shout out to Zack Attack dropping 48 in a loss to the Stunts. Meanwhile the other losers this week: THK, Cobblestone, and TOX are all in the very dangerous “miss the playoffs” zone which means there are some big games coming up here. Lost in all of that was Buffalo Vice getting their first win of the season as well.

Championship Odds:

The Contenders:

Cunning Stunts (4-1)

Puckett All-Stars (5-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (8-1)

Zack Attack (8-1)

The Almost Theres:

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (11-1)

Vaspian (15-1)

The Pretenders:

Travis Henry’s Kids (20-1)

Buffalo Vice (20-1)

Cobblestone (25-1)

TOX (30-1)

The Season So Far: Another year, another round of the Stunts being 6-0 halfway through the season and just beating up on most teams, with a few close calls. Same story it always is. The big surprise is Puckett having a fantastic season so far. They’re 5-1, only losing to the Stunts in Week 1. They can score, they’re defending well, and things are lining up nicely for them. Whatever caused Spinelli’s hiccup for nearly a full season there (I’m blaming the jerseys), it seems to be over. They’re back to scoring a lot of points and winning games and if they shore up the defense ever so slightly, they’ll be a big title contender. Same goes for Zack Attack, which feels weird to say. ZA isn’t nearly as lights out as they used to be on the defensive side of things, but it doesn’t matter because they’re averaging 37.2 points per game, which i’m pretty sure is double what they normally do. ILF is a team that can easily jump into “contender” status, but right now they’ve only played 4 games: They’re 3-0 against the current 8-10 seeds in the standings, and they got slapped by Spinelli’s. I don’t know who they are just yet. The same can be said for Vaspian. Vaspian is 2-3, and they have a bad offense right now. Their usual top defense is still doing well. But they haven’t had their QB all season, and Brian is going to make his big return this week or next. Either way, better days are ahead for them. THK is sitting in 10th, I’m aware, but this team is a lot better than they’ve shown. If they end up winning those two games they lost by a point, they’re 2-2 and it’s a different conversation we’re having. Their schedule gets a bit easier as the season goes on. I’d say that at this point, every game is a playoff game for them, but we don’t need John crumbling in Week 6.  Buffalo Vice finally got a win with Andy back at QB, but this season hasn’t been all that fun for this squad as they’ve had an unfortunate struggle on the defensive side of things. Cobblestone has had a rough season of course, none of which is Darryl’s fault. They’re scoring at a pretty decent rate, but they can’t stop anyone which is the big problem. Finally, TOX can’t score. They’re playing a lot better than originally thought, but I think they’re still odds on favorites to not make the playoffs.

This Week’s Games;

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Cobblestone (+11) - Spinelli’s can score. A lot. Cobblestone can’t stop anyone. This could be pretty lopsided. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 19

Zack Attack vs Buffalo Vice (+12) - Same as above. Zack Attack is scoring at will these days and they’re going up against the lowest ranked defense in D4. Not a recipe for success for Vice. ZACK ATTACK BY 15

Vaspian vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+5) - A good test for Brian’s return as two struggling offenses meet up to get things going on track. These two teams really could use a win. However, despite the losses, THK has had their QB throwing the whole season, and Vaspian’s has some rust to shake off. Plus, THK has Pistol Pete. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10

Travis Henry’s Kids vs TOX (+7) - Same idea as above, except against a slightly worse defense. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 14

Puckett All-Stars vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+9) - Here’s ILF’s shot to show us who they are. Hopefully Andrew has his team ready to go against PAS, because I know PAS is ready for them. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 13

Cunning Stunts vs TOX (+17) - The Stunts are going to score in bunches as they always have, and TOX is going to struggle to keep up over the course of the game. They just lack the female talent to run with superstars of the Stunts. CUNNING STUNTS BY 16

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Vaspian (EVEN) - This should be a very good game that comes down to which defense blinks first. I don’t think it’ll be very high scoring, but it’ll still be entertaining nonetheless. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 7

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Woodpeckers 24, Passing While Intoxicated 24 (Tie)

Come From Behind 26, Today’s Feast 18

TMA 43, Come From Behind 22

TMA 36, Let’s Get Reccked 20

TMA continues their absolute dominance over the division, going 2-0 against arguably their toughest and weakest competition this season. Come From Behind rebounds from the TMA loss with a win over Today’s Feast. The Woodpeckers and PWI combine for a 24-24 tie as both teams work through some roster shuffling.

Championship Odds:

The Contender:

TMA (2-1)

The “Best Shot At Beating TMA” Contender:

Come From Behind (4-1)

The Pretenders:

Passing While Intoxicated (10-1)

Today’s Feast (12-1)

Woodpeckers (20-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (30-1)

The Season So Far: TMA has been running through everyone pretty easily, save for a matchup with Come From Behind, who are the only team to really give them a run for their money this time around. TMA is just on another level. CFB can definitely compete with them, and they’ve shown it already this season. PWI couldn’t ride the playoff success from last season into this one, and they’ve been all over the place this year. Today’s Feast is consistently improving, and while 2-3 isn’t the best record, they’re figuring things out on both sides of the ball and they’re in just about every game they play. The Woodpeckers went out and won the D6 title last season out of nowhere, but it seems like half of that team is still out celebrating that win and not coming to the fields this season. Hopefully they show up more in the second half. Let’s Get Reccked is what Not So Sticky would be if the people on NSS didn’t know how to play football either. It’s been a rough season for LGR so far.

This Week’s Games:

TMA vs Woodpeckers (+20) - I’ve listened to the podcast each week, and they say the same thing about TMA every week: “It was a complete team game. Ryan Henery threw Lights Out. Val Testa was fantastic and scored a bunch of TDs. Brent is the best.”. The point is that this team is on fire and they keep replicating what has made them good this season. It’s just rinse and repeat at this point for them, and I can’t fathom that a Woodpeckers team that has no stability currently can beat them. TMA BY 28

Passing While Intoxicated vs Today’s Feast (+1) - PWI has rotated through 3 QBs this season, and they’ve been all over the place. Not sure how Colorado Mike let this happen, but until PWI gets consistency from everyone, it’s going to be a long second half of the season. Today’s Feast needs to email me so I can learn who is on this team and what their deal is. I’m loving their consistency this season though. TODAY’S FEAST BY 1

Come From Behind vs Lets Get Reccked (+10) - If TMA didn’t exist, we’d just be talking about how CFB is walking to a title. They’re still a cut above the rest. They play great defense and they can score. Let’s Get Reccked can’t do either, but they lead D5 in injured shoulders, so that’s something. COME FROM BEHIND BY 15

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Not So Sticky 38, Two Tuddies 27

Superior Moser Squad 26, Two Tuddies 20

Superior Moser Squad 41, Lenny’s Ladies 19

Blitzkrieg 21, Punt Cakes 0 (Forfeit)

Superior Moser Squad went 2-0 in pretty nice fashion. They came back from 20-0 down on the Tuddies to win at the end of the game, and then they beat Lenny’s Ladies in a game that saw a combined 6 women play QB for at least one drive. BK got a free win against Punt Cakes, and Not So Sticky defeated the Tuddies as well.

Championship Odds:

The Contenders:

Not So Sticky (4-1)

Blitzkrieg (4-1)

Superior Moser Squad (7-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (10-1)

Two Tuddies (13-1)

Punt Cakes (13-1)

The Season So Far: D6 is the most interesting division by far. All of these teams are closely ranked and any one of them can get hot and win the title. Not So Sticky is the favorite to win, but barely, as they can score AND possess some great football minds. Blitzkrieg has been in the mix to win D6 for 27 years, but their defense has never been this good. No Alex? No problem, as BK has been winning and winning. Superior Moser Squad is awesome, as they trot out two female QBs in Rylee and Lauren Moser. They’ve learned from one of the better minds in the league in Steve Moser, and it shows as they’ve cruised to a 4-2 record. Lenny’s Ladies is, as always, a very talented team when everyone shows up. They’ve had a lot of different QBs this year, and they’re enjoying a nice 3-3 season. At full power, they can beat anyone in D6. Two Tuddies got their first win ever in Week 1, and haven’t won since. It’s not for a lack of trying. They’ve lead in a few games and nearly every loss was a close one. They’re improving weekly. Punt Cakes is 1-5, but its the same story. Just about every loss has been within one score, and a play here or there means they could be 4-2 even.

This Week’s Games:

Two Tuddies vs Punt Cakes (+3) - These two meet up for the first time since Week 1, where the Tud Buds got their first win. They’ll be looking for their second this time around. Punt Cakes is looking to prevent that. This game has some stakes as the winner has a better shot at finishing 5th and not getting one of BK, NSS, or SMS that miss the bye. TWO TUDDIES BY 8

Blitzkrieg vs Lenny’s Ladies (+8) - These teams have had a fun rivalry for years now, and this season is no different. The Ladies took the first meeting this season, handing BK their only loss of the season so far. I expect revenge. BLITZKRIEG BY 8

Not So Sticky Vs Superior Moser Squad (+10) - NSS kind of figured out SMS in their first meeting, and I expect them to employ the same tactics this time out. SMS loves to use both women when throwing, but there’s a significant difference when Rylee throws than Lauren. If they want to win, they might just want to give Lauren the ball for this game. NOT SO STICKY BY 12

Not So Sticky vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - These two teams met once before and it was a 4 point game that was back and forth. Expect some fireworks and fun times. NOT SO STICKY BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. Will the weather change affect the teams? While I don’t expect too much change in how teams play, the sudden change into “fall” will cause some things to go a bit differently. Teams are used to playing in about 25 degrees warmer weather, and there should be more wind (in a season where I’ve been told we haven’t had ANY). Veteran teams and QBs should be fine, but some of the newer ones can absolutely struggle.
2. What are your picks for the division champions at the halfway mark of the season? D1: Tight Ends In Motion. D2: No Punt Intended. D3: Bullet Club. D4: Puckett All-Stars. D5: TMA. D6: Blitzkrieg.
3. What are the best “long shots” (10-1 or more) for each division? D1 - Sticky Bandits. They JUST went to the championship game, and there’s more evidence that suggests they’ll figure things out than not. D2 - Freeballers. These guys have all the talent in the world they just rarely figure out how to use it. If everything clicks, they have a shot. D3 - Can’t Touch This. They have the QB, and they have a couple of good guys. If the girls show more improvement they can absolutely repeat last season’s playoff success. D4 - ILF. They have the talent, and they have a proven QB. The defense is good. They just need to find a few more points on offense and look out. D5 - Passing While Intoxicated. I mean, I had to pick someone and they did shock the world last season. D6 - Lenny’s Ladies. They have a roster of some amazing women who have been playing well. They can be quite hard to match up with.
4. Current top seed most likely to blow it? The Cunning Stunts. I feel bad ripping on the girls, but they’ve constantly been a top seed at the halfway point only to not end up as champions again and again.
5. Who misses the playoffs in D4? That’s a tough one, but I think that TOX and Cobblestone will be the ones missing out when it’s all said and done.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:

1. Breakfast Club is looking crazy. Two 4-0 teams. Two 2-2 teams. Two 0-4 teams. And they all play each other this week.
1. Amber Alert 42, Steph Infection 39
2. BDSM 44, Jennacide 33
3. Messy Jessies 37, Special Kay’s 36
2. I keep hearing more and more about the upcoming Halloween Bowl. It’ll be good to get everyone playing in costumes and having fun again.
3. Three teams that need a win: Practice Squad, Let’s Get Reccked, Travis Henry’s Kids
4. Please remember, email me about your team at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
5. We had a lot of TSLers at the Bills vs Rams game, I can only wonder how many are traveling to Miami this week. That should affect some games.
6. Games Of The Day:
   1. 9:00 - Amber Alert vs Steph Infection
   2. 10:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs Bullet Club
   3. 11:00 - Two Tuddes vs Punt Cakes
   4. 12:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs No Punt Intended
   5. 1:00 - Travis Henry’s Kids vs Vaspian
   6. 2:00 - ILF vs Puckett All-Stars
   7. 3:00 - Get Schwifty vs Practice Squad
7. Please keep in mind that there can still be the possibility of a rainout week that will just push back the playoffs to 10/22 and 10/29.
8. More and more people are volunteering to referee to help out the league and its been going pretty well. I haven’t heard about too many costly mistakes. Good work everyone!
9. Special shout out to Garrett Beesing who’s been doing great things with the referee schedule and to Jeff Krol as well, as it’s been reported that he’s going a phenomenal job keeping things organized.
10. Except for one thing. We need to make sure games are running on time better for the rest of the season. One field being late can throw things off everywhere. Please try to get to your games early, they’ll be starting without you this week.

Just because the temperature is dropping doesn’t mean the TSL action on the fields won’t be getting hotter. We’re going to see some great games this week.

-GF OUT

WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 30 September 2022 12:31

Published: Friday, 30 September 2022 12:31

Written by Jeff Krol

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the second half of the Fall 2022 season is in full swing, and all we’ve learned so far is that we know next to nothing. Week 6 has come and gone in our illustrious history and it taught us that this season is far from being understood. What kind of things did we learn you ask? Let me tell you.

For starters, the teams that ran the show have already lost their mystique. Frodo Swaggins (D2), Bullet Club (D3), and TMA (D5) all blew their perfect records and lost this week for the first time. Frodo and Bullet Club lost to the teams in 2nd place in their division, but TMA got run over by the Woodpeckers, who are once again peaking at the right time this session. Their whole team showed up, and they handled business. All of a sudden, D5 isn’t a “slam dunk” anymore.

Travis Henry’s Kids isn’t washed like we thought they might be. You can only question a team that loses by slim margins for so long before you realize that maybe they’re just not that good. They completely dispatched both orange teams in D4 pretty easily, by a combined score of 77-27 and got right out of 10th place and into the playoffs.

Zack Attack’s offense was a thing of beauty, until reality set in last weekend. ZA didn’t score a single point, which makes you wonder just how much of a fluke the first half of the season was.

And those are just a handful of the “surprises” we got this week. Of course, not everything was a shocker. Tight Ends In Motion have reclaimed the throne of “Best Team In The League” and they’re just holding onto that. Blitzkrieg and Not So Sticky are on a collision course for the D6 title. Come From Behind is still using all of their 10,352 games of experience to lay the smack down on their opponents. Spinelli’s Plumbing can put up 60 points easier than any other team in the league. Practice Squad has “maxed out” in D3 it seems.

            Every team has played at least 6 games. At this point, we can really see who’s shaping up to have quite a playoff run and who’s stumbling down the stretch. We’re getting into the TSL Ladder Match weeks for some of our divisions, and we have even more playoff implications going on this week. Let’s get into it.

D1:

Last Week’s Scores:

Tight Ends In Motion 44, Scared Hitless 14

Eyes Downtown 52, Passed Our Prime 17

Sticky Bandits 49, The Replacements 14 (D1/D2 Crossover)

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. Tight Ends In Motion and Eyes Downtown dominated their opponents. We’re a Public Enemy win away from me just being able to copy paste a 2019 article here. Not a close game was played this week, as Sticky also dominated The Replacements in the crossover game.

This Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion vs Legends (+7) - It’s weird giving the Legends a touchdown, but after TEIM put them in their place last time, I don’t see a world where they aren’t the underdogs. The Legends had a great time throwing a fun party when their parents were gone, but unfortunately for them, daddy’s home. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+7) - After a rough start, Bobby found his magic bandana and times are good in ED land yet again. They’re on a 4 game winning streak, and the only losses they’ve had are to the teams above them in the standings, and oh goodness that defense is sexy. Sticky, meanwhile, has been the definition of average. 3-3 record, 197 PF, and 190 PA. It’s not where Sticky Nation wants to be, but right now they seem to be on an island in D1: just behind the Top 3, but firmly ahead of the Bottom 3. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 15

Scared Hitless vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - The one thing both of these teams have going for them this year is that onlookers tend to say “well, it could be worse, they could be Passed Our Prime”. There were always going to be the inevitable growing pains moving to D1 and I hope these teams realize that and don’t “give up” in the Spring. Both are 2-5, and both have given up 274 and 273 respectively. The only difference is that Scared Hitless’s offense is a tick better. SCARED HITLESS BY 3

D1/D2 Crossover Game:

Passed Our Prime vs The Replacements (+20) - The TSL Football Gods are cruel. It’s bad enough that The Replacements are bleeding all over the place in shark infested waters in D2, but they’re ALSO the team that gets TWO crossover games? The only bonus from this is that it's only POP they’re playing. Passed Our Prime is a solid team, but to compete in D1 they need that ONE player that really pushes them over the top. Hogan needs to call his friends in the offseason to see who he can get for the Spring. PASSED OUR PRIME BY 12

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

Frodo Swaggins 29, Buffalo Vice Retro 0

No Punt Intended 38, Frodo Swaggins 12

No Punt Intended 21, The Untouchaballs 0 (Forfeit)

The Untouchaballs were too scared to play No Punt Intended this week, and for good reason. NPI walloped Frodo Swaggins to stake their claim as D2’s top team last week. Frodo, meanwhile, also made easy work of BV Retro as well.

This Week’s Games:

No Punt Intended vs Frodo Swaggins (+6) - So let’s do this dance again. The winner of this game has the inside track for the D2 bye week, and the loser of this game has the inside track to the other D2 bye week, which is playing The Replacements. Perhaps last week was a fluke, and Frodo underestimated NPI? We’ll see this week. I don’t think it was though. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 12

The Untouchaballs vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+9) - These teams are both 2-5, but don’t get anything twisted. The Untouchaballs are much, much better than BVR. Scheduling conflicts caused UT to have two forfeit losses, and if you ignore the beating they got from TEIM in the crossover game, their other two losses were two points to Frodo, and two points to the DILFs in a game they had won until the final play. BVR is currently just The Replacements with better defense. They’ve only scored 20 more points than TR in the same amount of games. Yikes. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 17

DILFs vs Freeballers (+10) - I get that the Freeballers love to play with a chip on their shoulder and prove to all of the “haters” and “doubters” that they’re better everyone thinks, but after 5 seasons of this, maybe they’re just not that good, and they’re about as average as everyone thought? We’ll see how well they hold up against the DILFs this week, who are the actual definition of a good team that loves to play .500 football every season. DILFS BY 11

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Mountain Dew Me 29, Bullet Club 28

716 55, Scott Senior’s Starting 46

716 29, Mountain Dew Me 28

Can’t Touch This 30, Itches and Ohs 24

Get Schwifty 35, Practice Squad 32

Mountain Dew Me knocked Bullet Club off the list of the unbeatens before falling to 716 an hour later by the same 29-28 score. 716 went 2-0 on the day, sliding into 2nd place in the division with wins over SSS (who are in the middle of their usual downswing this season) and MDM. Can’t Touch This takes a nice win over Itches and Ohs, and Get Schwifty gets another win, this time over the struggling Practice Squad.

This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs Scott Seniors Starting (+7) - This matchup looked a lot more enticing on paper a couple of weeks ago, but since then BC lost their first game (with apparently some help from a “stopwatch malfunction” I’m being told) and SSS have lost 3 straight to tumble to 3-4. It’s going to come down to how often BC’s top ranked defense can stop SSS’ highly ranked top offense. BULLET CLUB BY 6

Bullet Club vs Can’t Touch This (+7) - These two squads meet again after going head to head in Week 1 earlier this season, a 12 point BC victory that wasn’t very close. But that was then. Since going 0-2 the first week, CTT is 3-0 with wins over 716, Schwifty, and Practice Squad. There’s at least one solid win in there. And with Anthony “The Better” Battaglia giving Handsome, Rocket Armed QB Ryan another option out there, the future is bright for the rascals in red. A new contender has entered the fight.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

716 vs Practice Squad (+10) - 716 is on the rise after a big 2-0 week that showed everyone that yeah, they’re a D3 title contender. Practice Squad isn’t exactly “running for the bus” at this point, but it has to be feeling like a “lost season” for the Lantz crew. The jump to D3 has been a learning experience for the Squad, and there are brighter days ahead. They’re just not this Saturday. 716 by 13

716 vs Get Schwifty (+8) - If you’re going to have a doubleheader, this is the one to have. 716 takes on the two low seeds back to back, and while Schwifty is better than most think they are, they’re not THAT much better. 716 continues to roll. 716 BY 11

Mountain Dew Me Vs Itches And Ohs (+9) - MDM made a statement last week that they’re here to contend for the title. They played two hard fought games against the top two teams in the division and they learned they can absolutely win this thing. Itches, however, are struggling to learn if they can win D3 or not this season. They’ve been off this year, as their uncharacteristic 2-4-1 record shows. More surprising is that their offense just isn’t getting it done, which was their bread and butter for quite some time. MDM rides their momentum to a victory. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 12

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Spinelli’s Plumbing 62, Cobblestone 34

Buffalo Vice 31, Zack Attack 0

Travis Henry’s Kids 36, Vaspian 8

Travis Henry’s Kids 41, TOX 19

Puckett All-Stars 50, ILF 35

Cunning Stunts 69, TOX 16

Vaspian 30, ILF 20

Spinelli’s offense brutalizes Cobblestone’s weak defense while Buffalo Vice shuts out Zack Attack. THK finally wakes up and goes 2-0 to get out of the basement, while ILF and TOX go 0-2 to head to it. Puckett and the Stunts stay dominant, and Vaspian goes 1-1 along the way to stay afloat.

This Week’s Games:

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Vaspian (+13) - When I first saw this line, I thought it might be too high, but the truth is that it's less about Vaspian as it is about the red hot Spinelli’s offense. The last time Spinelli’s was on a heater like this, they won the whole thing. Twice. Vaspian will do all they can to slow Spinelli’s down, but the issue at hand might be just scoring enough to keep up. This won’t be one of those 16-14 games Vaspian is so good at winning. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 17

Buffalo Vice vs TOX (+8) - Despite TOX starting off 1-0, it's been nothing but pain since. 6 straight losses put them right in danger of missing the playoffs. This week is a playoff game for TOX. A loss to Vice here ends their season, as they won’t have any tiebreakers with the teams above them (they lost to THK last week, and they’d have a loss to Vice in this scenario) and they can’t catch anyone on record/points. A Vice loss doesn’t put them in as bad of a position, as their Week 1 tie with Spinelli’s is their saving grace. A loss just makes the next two games even MORE important. But I don't think they’ll have to worry about it. BUFFALO VICE BY 4

Travis Henry’s Kids vs Buffalo Vice (+5) - The real THK showed up to play last week, and as a result they’re in a much better position than they were the last time this article was released. While they have another double header this week (absolutely rough scheduling), this game matters most to them. A win here clinches a playoff spot, and anything after that will be a bonus. Based on the slow start to the season, I’m sure they’ll take it. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 8

Puckett All-Stars vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+9) - Right now, Puckett is on a crash course with the Stunts for the rematch of all rematches. They’ve been on fire, and I still don’t think they’re getting enough love. This matchup would’ve been fantastic to see with both teams being fresh, but I’m pretty sure that THK will have some players in their 4th and 5th games (assuming Deak doesn’t tear his quad getting out of bed in the morning) and they’ll be understandably less than 100%. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 19

Zack Attack vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+4) - Both teams are 3-3 and trying to figure out if they’re contenders or pretenders here. They both have very similar defenses, but the difference is on the offensive side of the ball. Even with Zack Attack laying a complete egg last week, they’re still a bit better than ILF, who just haven’t quite found themselves yet this season. Lucky for them, this might be the time to do so…. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 1

Cunning Stunts vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+13) - ….because this one isn’t. The Stunts are slapping cheeks all over the place this season, as they’re one of two undefeated teams left in the TSL this season (TEIM is the other). They’ve beaten their two biggest contenders already in Puckett and Spinelli’s, and there’s nothing to suggest they’ll blow it in the first round of the playoffs, other than a deep history of doing exactly that again and again. This game isn’t the one where cracks start to show. CUNNING STUNTS BY 18

Zack Attack vs Cobblestone (+8) - For what it’s worth, Cobblestone more than likely shouldn’t be 1-6. They’re a much better team than that, but for as much as they can score, they can’t play a lick of defense. If they’re going to make the playoffs, they MUST win this game. Luckily, they get a Zack Attack team that seems all out of sorts at the moment, so it seems like it's good timing to catch them in this state. COBBLESTONE BY 3

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Woodpeckers 35, TMA 24

Today’s Feast 29, Passing While Intoxicated 16

Come From Behind 34, Let’s Get Reccked 0

I did a triple take when I saw that the Woodpeckers took out TMA, but alas, it’s true. Today’s Feast continues to climb as they out duel PWI, and finally Come From Behind takes an easy one from LGR.

This Week’s Games:

Come From Behind vs Woodpeckers (+7) - Which round of the Peckers are we going to see this week? After 5 weeks of roster struggles and rough play, the biggest news of Week 6 were the emails I got about how the Woodpeckers finally got their entire roster to the fields and they dominated TMA. Well, here’s the other contender to the D5 throne, let's see if Joe B has some magic left in that arm. A win here would send the entire division in a blender. Let’s ride the wave. WOODPECKERS BY 10

TMA vs Passing While Intoxicated (+10) - The best thing to happen to TMA was last week’s wake up call. TMA always plays better with some sort of chip on their shoulder, and now they get to double up on that this week as they take on the team that upset them in last year’s playoffs. Yeah, they already beat them this season, but they may as well do it again. Especially against a PWI team that just can’t seem to get it together this season. TMA BY A BILLION (or maybe just 16)

Woodpeckers vs Today’s Feast (+6) - Which Woodpeckers show up will once again be the answer here, but I could also say the same for Today’s Feast who can look good some weeks, and then can look like they’re not even playing the same sport as everyone else in others. I’m going to assume the Peckers bring the house again here. WOODPECKERS BY 9

Today’s Feast vs Let’s Get Reccked (+7) - It’s fun seeing Today’s Feast as the favorite. The TSL’s most average team through 6 weeks (seriously, they’re 3-3 with 150 points for and 150 points against) have got to be enjoying life as things start to click for them. The good times keep rolling as they get a very discombobulated team in LGR, who will be without namesake Ricky Recckio for the foreseeable future. TODAY’S FEAST BY 10

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Punt Cakes 56, Two Tuddies 20

Not So Sticky 26, Superior Moser Squad 9

Blitzkrieg 47, Lenny’s Ladies 0

Not So Sticky 33, Blitzkrieg 28

Punt Cakes picked up their second win of the year, manhandling the Tuddies. Not So Sticky handled the Superior Moser Squad and Blitzkrieg kept Lenny’s Ladies out of the endzone to set up a big 1v2 matchup that saw NSS take the victory.

This Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg vs Superior Moser Squad (+8) - SMS is enjoying a nice first season, as the argument for who is the best Moser QB heats up (here’s a hint: they live in Steve’s house, but it isn’t Steve) and I’ll always root for a team that has a female QB out there. But, it's fair to say that I’ve been a fan of Blitzkrieg for a long time, even when they’d constantly let me down. I remember the good old days when Alex was there every week, and Allie was the next best thing  on the fields. I remember when Tom was the best dual threat player in the division. Well, they’re gone, and the squad we have now is thriving as they make a name for themselves. All it took was some Light Red Hoodie QB magic, and some confidence and now we have a team that’s ready to win this thing. I’m all in on them, again. BLITZKRIEG BY 17

Not So Sticky vs Punt Cakes (+10) - The top team in the division takes on a Punt Cakes team that is slowly starting to figure out this football thing. Punt Cakes’ defense keeps them in games, it’s just a question of whether or not their offense can keep up. NSS seems to be drinking less than ever, which means they’re winning more. Someone get these guys another huggie bomb or 3. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. Was last week an aberration for the top teams that lost? For some, yes. While I’d love to say the standings are going to be all shook up and we know nothing anymore, the truth is that I think Bullet Club, TMA, and Blitzkrieg are going to be just fine. If all three teams didn’t lose again for the rest of the season, I wouldn’t be surprised. Frodo Swaggins however, well, they have a buzzsaw to deal with in No Punt Intended. If they can’t show up against them this week, we have a new odds on favorite in D2.
2. What teams are we sleeping on? You’re starting to see this answer already. 716 has been quietly good all season and just got a few big wins last week. As much fun as it is to point out that John Langley is a head case, etc, THK still has an entire team of great players and they’re two plays from being 4-2. Can’t Touch This is a sleeping giant that is ready to emerge. At first glance at the standings, The Untouchaballs look like ass, sitting at 2-5, but once you dive into it, you realize they’re not too far off from contending for the D2 title, though I DO wish we got to see them play No Punt Intended.
3. Who really needs a win this week? Technically, only Cobblestone and TOX “need” wins this week to keep them in the playoff race. But in terms of keeping it together, I think the Legends need a win against Tight Ends just so that they know they can beat them. I also feel like ILF could really use a win after last week’s 0-2 run. The Freeballers need to beat the DILFs as well.
4. Will the referees bounce back? The hands down most talked about thing in my emails this week were about many of the referee mistakes that occurred last weekend. And a lot of that was about new refs not knowing the rules or admitting to not even reading the rulebook. This was the first week I really received word about some big mistakes, so we should assume things will get back to normal, but I’ve already heard that the powers that be are doing things to prevent this from happening again. But seriously, if you’re going to referee, at least read the rules over. And it’s okay to stop the game and ask for help. Nobody will get mad that you’re doing your best to get a call right.
5. What shape will the fields be in? It appears that fall hit Buffalo pretty hard, and it's been raining a LOT. That should soften up the fields, provided they’re not still flooded. Saturday looks to be about 60 degrees, overcast, and a little windy, as the second half of the season will continue to be played in dramatically different conditions than the first half was when it was constantly 85 degrees and the fields were “concrete like”.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

1. I got to listen to the TSL podcast this week, and I enjoyed hearing Dorene and B on the show. I know they have a lot of stories from back when I was playing in the league before I moved to my log cabin here in Des Moines, Iowa, and hopefully we’ll get to hear some of them next time.
2. Thank you to those who have emailed me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with their news and notes on their teams so far this season. Getting information was a lot easier when Lenny (and then Rameer) would talk my ear off on a Sunday or Monday about what was going on in the league. They knew everything. So please, take a second to shout out yourself or your teammates. Every little bit helps.
3. Breakfast Club Predictions:
1. Amber Alert 45, Messy Jessies 22
2. Steph Infection 40, Jennacide 37
3. BDSM 30, Special Kay’s 28
4. Best Games Of The Week:
   1. 10:00 - Tight Ends In Motion vs Legends
   2. 11:00 - Bullet Club vs Can’t Touch This
   3. 12:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits
   4. 1:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids
   5. 2:00 - Freeballers vs DILFs
   6. 3:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs Itches and Ohs
5. Whispers are saying that December 9th is looking like the likely date for the banquet. Nothing is confirmed yet, just, you’d be smart to keep that date open.
6. B’s Brother was at the fields yet again this week, and he was confirmed to be calling out Topper for his absences. Topper, of course, has been on official league business in Ireland, as we consider all options for the league, which includes going international.
7. If I recall correctly, doesn’t someone still need to be Cookie and Elmo for past punishments? If you know who this is, feel free to tag them in the Facebook comments.
8. Has anyone seen the newest edition of “The Manager”? Yeah, me neither.
9. The TSLQBPRC has come out with its Top Males in the league list, which means people will be yelling how they should’ve been ranked this week every time they make a play.
10. The bar deserves a shout out this week as I’ve been told they’ve been really good to the league this year, other than the closing for bees. Good work.

It’s Friday. You’re only a day away from playing in the greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football league in the world. Good luck this weekend. I’ll be in the cut.

-GF OUT

Week 5 Thoughts, Picks & Stuff

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 16 September 2022 11:59

Published: Friday, 16 September 2022 11:59

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 5291

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, I come to you with sad news. This Saturday, September 17th, in the Year of Our Lord 2022 will be Week 5 of the TSL season. While that news in itself isn’t a bad thing, it’s the knowledge that every week after this one will officially be the “second half” of the TSL season. We have half of a season left, and it really does feel like we just started.

At this point in the season, we can start to look at the standings and really see who the top contenders are for this year’s Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality are and what teams really need to make a few more tweaks if they have any hope at taking home the championship.

Week 4 brought us a ton of fun action under a blazing September sun (which it seems like Buffalo is shaping up for another 80 degree Saturday, get ready!) so let’s take a quick look at who’s trending where.

GOOD

            -Tight Ends In Motion go 2-0 on the day to wash the sins of the past season away yet again, setting up a mega match with Legends this weekend.

            -No Punt Intended wins both of their games to cement their status as a D2 contender.

            -Bullet Club goes to 4-0 on the season with a win over Itches and Ohs, despite John Langley’s best efforts to give the game away.

            -Puckett All-Stars move to 4-1 on the season, and have been on a tear since losing to the Stunts in Week 1.

            -Lenny’s Ladies sweep their doubleheader to go to 3-2 on the season, as D6 continues to look competitive from top to bottom

NOT BAD NOT GOOD

            -Itches and Ohs take down Scott Senior’s Starting before falling to Bullet Club to go 1-1 on the day against the top D3 teams

            -Cobblestone finally gets a win, but they’re still 1-4 on the season.

            -Vaspian loses to Puckett, but beats TOX soundly, and rumors are they get their QB back finally this week

            -Blitzkrieg loses to the Ladies, but takes a big win over Not So Sticky for the race for the bye week in D6.

            -D1 teams go 3-0 in the D1/D2 crossover games, which is just boring for everyone.

BAD

            -After a season opening win, Practice Squad has gone 0-3-1 and haven’t looked too great on the fields.

            -Sticky Bandits go 0-2, rumors begin to swirl that championship run was a fluke last season.

            -Jeremy Burr loses to Tight Ends, leaves fields before second game, Untouchaballs refuse to take the field without their previously fearless leader.

            -Buffalo Vice Retro goes 0-2 by a combined score of 85-12, causes Caitlyn Mason to slip in Best Female Rankings.

Like I said, a lot of stuff happened last week, and we didn’t even touch on all of it. Let’s get to what you’re really here for and talk about the games that will be played this weekend upon the hallowed fields of the Rose Garden tomorrow.

D1:

Last Week’s Games:

Legends 32, Sticky Bandits 24

Tight Ends In Motion 46, Sticky Bandits 32

Eyes Downtown 36, Scared Hitless 26

Eyes Downtown 54, Buffalo Vice Retro 0 (D1/D2 Crossover)

Tight Ends In Motion 49, The Untouchaballs 25 (D1/D2 Crossover)

Grey Hair Don’t Care 51, DILFs 35 (D1/D2 Crossover)

Legends and Tight Ends In Motion team up to put Sticky Nation back into “Little Brother” status in D1, and showing a clear line at who the main contenders for the D1 title are this season. Eyes Downtown proceeded to remind everyone who they are, scoring 90 points in two games and now find themselves in 3rd place. Grey Hair took my prediction of them losing last week to heart, and laid the smack down on the DILFs, proving along the way that the move up to D1 was the right one.

This Week’s Games:

Tight Ends In Motion vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - Grey Hair did this last year: adjust to the new division, and then proceed to make some real noise in the second half of the season. They’re trending to be a tough out in the playoffs once again. Tight Ends In Motion, however, are still so incredibly hot since getting the band back together, and now with Robin back on the field (and arguably the defacto #1 female in the league instantly) they might not be stopped. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 13

Legends vs Tight Ends In Motion (EVEN) - Arguably the TSL’s two hottest teams face off in the biggest regular season matchup the Rose Garden has seen since Chris Cole retired. The road to the D1 championship, still the most coveted prize in all of Social Co-Ed Football in the world, goes through these two. The winner has the inside track at the bye week for the playoffs, but there’s so much more at stake. Game of the Day. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 2

Legends vs Scared Hitless (+9) - Scared Hitless has been playing better as of late, and they’ll be getting a Legends team that should presumably be leaving it all on the field in the game before this. That shouldn’t matter much though. The Legends are still very good, and SH isn’t on their level just yet. Yet being the key word there. LEGENDS BY 3

Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (EVEN) - One team is trending up, the other is trending downwards. Right now, they find themselves right next to each other in the standings, and while both teams don’t NEED to win, they both sure could use one. Eyes Downtown has settled in after a slow start and they’re looking to keep the momentum. Sticky is just looking to stop the bleeding from last week and show that the only fluke was last week’s losses. Feels like we need a last play of the game scenario here.  STICKY BANDITS BY 1

D1/D2 Crossover Bonus Game:

Frodo Swaggins vs Passed Our Prime (+3) - Frodo has been on a tear this season, while POP is playing okay but still trying to really figure it all out in D1. That doesn’t make them less dangerous here, but the super advanced metrics I use here in Des Moines, Iowa trend towards Frodo making the leap and being the first D2 team to win a crossover game this session. Hogan is probably going to be furious, but, FRODO SWAGGINS BY 8

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

No Punt Intended 31, Buffalo Vice Retro 12

No Punt Intended 44, The Replacements 22

Freeballers 61, The Replacements 0

No Punt Intended gets their first two wins of the season while Freeballers run up the score against The Replacements. Not much else to report here. D2 used to be fun.

This Week’s Games:

Buffalo Vice Retro vs The Replacements (EVEN) - Two teams that are a combined 0-9 on the year battle it out to see which team can accidentally score more to steal a win from the jaws of defeat. Neither team woke up on Week 1 of the season expecting to be here, but here we are. Both teams need this win desperately, just for morale purposes. That can only lead me to one logical conclusion here. BOTH TEAMS TIE.

DILFs vs The Untouchaballs (EVEN) - Pretty much the same as the last game, except these two have won a few games between them. A really even matchup that could produce a hell of a game if both teams have all of their players. DILFS BY 8

No Punt Intended vs Freeballers (EVEN) - The schedule makers did NOT mean for this to happen, but Week 5 in D2 is kind of awesome. Another marquee matchup for this week against some evenly matched teams here. Both teams are playing well and winning. Both teams can score a bunch. This should be a good one. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 5

DILFs vs No Punt Intended (+1) - Amazingly enough, this game couldn’t be considered “EVEN” by the oddsmakers. Both teams will be coming in hot after wins (probably), so give me the team with 47,350 more years of experience combined. DILFS BY 9

Freeballers vs Buffalo Vice Retro (+10) - Our first D2 mismatch of the day. The Freeballers have been rolling along largely due the play of their girls, especially Taila and Jessie. This makes sense, because the males on this team are the “Who’s Who” of nondescript regular dudes. It’s not that Buffalo Vice doesn’t have the players to win games, they just can’t seem to put it all together. This isn’t that time either. FREEBALLERS BY 18

D3:

Last Week’s Games:

Itches and Ohs 39, Scott Seniors Starting 36

Bullet Club 13, Itches and Ohs 9

Scott Seniors Starting 46, Practice Squad 23

Not a lot of D3 action as we see Itches and Ohs hand SSS their first loss of the season, but they couldn’t give Bullet Club thiers as they go 1-1 on the day. SSS would go on to get their win back on the day over a Practice Squad team that has been all out of sorts lately, and Topper has told me he’s positive it’s all Kenny’s fault.

This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs 716 (+7) - Bullet Club comes into this game on a hot streak, pulling out a win over Itches and Ohs in a game that they were without Hughes, Pistol Pete, Gordon, and Easton last week. 716 hasn’t been too terrible since jumping up to D3 from D5, but they haven’t had a huge sample size just yet. This game provides their first real test. BULLET CLUB BY 8

Practice Squad vs Can’t Touch This (+4) - We haven’t seen enough of Can’t Touch This this season, but so far the jump to D3 has been mixed. They suffered two early losses in Week 1 to BC and SSS, and won their last game against 716. Ryan is a handsomely talented QB with a really nice supporting cast (and those girls have come a long way from a year ago!), so the sky is the limit for them. Practice Squad is just all over the place. I don’t think anyone on PS is happy with their current results, and you know they’ll be working hard to fix it. This is the week. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

Scott Seniors Starting vs Get Schwifty (+12) - Schwifty hasn’t shown D3 is the place for them just yet, and they’re looking more and more like they’ll be a D4 team in the spring every week. They still have time to rewrite their narrative though, as they’ve only played 3 games so far. Meanwhile the Keller clan keeps on doing what they always do. Play football, win games, and have Scotty Dro email me to tell me how they’re best at the bar (along with Zack Attack apparently). This one should be easy for them. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 15

Itches and Ohs vs Get Schwifty (+8) - Surprisingly, no referees have willingly stepped up to want to ref the Steve Moser vs Blase matchup just yet, and league officials can’t understand why. Jokes aside, Itches had a great win last week and they’re better than the 1-3-1 record suggests. They have talent everywhere, its a matter of getting people to show up and be on the same page. ITCHES AND OHS BY 5

Scott Seniors Starting vs Mountain Dew Me (+6) - MDM hasn’t gotten a ton of games in just yet (only 3) so we’re still feeling out the comeback season. They’re still the *very* fast group of humans, but they’re not quite there with putting it all together. They lost by 10 to Practice Squad, and then beat PS by 1, and snuck by Schwifty by 2. Not the most impressive record yet. Playing SSS isn’t going to help that. SCOTT SENIORS STARTING BY 10

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Cobblestone 27, Travis Henry’s Kids 7

Cunning Stunts 44, Spinelli’s Plumbing 40

Cunning Stunts 52, Buffalo Vice 32

Spinelli’s Plumbing 38, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 24

Puckett All-Stars 32, Vaspian 14

Puckett All-Stars 32, Zack Attack 31

Vaspian 22, TOX 0

Lots of D4 action last week that saw DARRYL CARR QB SUPERSTAR get his first win of the season over THK. The Stunts asserted their usual dominance, taking wins over Spinelli’s and Vice. Spinelli’s would go on to blow past ILF. Puckett continues their fantastic regular season with wins over Vaspian and Zack Attack. Vaspian would then go on to shut out TOX.

This Week’s Games:

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+3) - Two big, rocket armed QBs face off in what should be just a high scoring, fun affair. Spinelli’s is about as .500 as you can get: 2-2-1, scoring 190 points and allowing 189. They’ve had a little bit of everything so far this season, but it feels like they’re starting to get dialed in. THK is 0-3 and currently in 10th place in D4, which means missing the playoffs. But two of those losses are by a point, and the other was last week where they didn’t have most of their team apparently. Bottom line: THK is fine. TRAVIS HENRYS KIDS BY 2

Cobblestone vs Buffalo Vice (EVEN) - While it was nice to see Darryl get his first win of the session, it’s still not hiding the fact that Cobblestone is only 1-4. They’ll need to string together some wins to really make me feel like they’re a contender. Vice isn’t having their best season ever either. Currently 0-3-1 and in 9th place, they really need this win to get into the playoffs AND take the tiebreaker over Cobblestone. BUFFALO VICE BY 3

Cunning Stunts vs Zack Attack (+3) - Both teams have been awesome so far this season. This potential D4 title game preview should be a must watch game (as all of the gender team games are anyway), as the Zack Attack defense (now paired with an offense!) looks to slow down the girls just enough. I have this feeling they’ll pull it out. ZACK ATTACK BY 2

Puckett All-Stars vs TOX (+13) - This game has all of the feelings of a nature show where you see a cheetah staring down a little bunny before it attacks. Puckett has been on fire all season, blowing up the narrative that they waltz through the regular season to turn it up in the playoffs of years past. TOX is more competitive than I anticipated this season, but they’re still staring a sub-.500 season in the face once again. If they’re true D4 contenders, they need to take this game. I don’t see it. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 11

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Today’s Feast 51, Woodpeckers 22

TMA 35, Come From Behind 34

Today’s Feast continues to improve, this time taking out the Woodpeckers along the way, who are struggling a bit. TMA takes a one point victory over Come From Behind, which is exactly the exciting game that was expected of these two.

This Week’s Games:

Passing While Intoxicated vs Woodpeckers (+6) - I can’t ever figure out if PWI is good or not. Luckily, neither can they. They’re 2-3 with a -2 Point differential. But they’ve gotten smacked around by TMA, Come From Behind, and Today’s Feast while only beating Let’s Get Reccked who aren’t exactly world beaters just yet. Yet somehow they seem like they could be in the mix for the title if you sleep on them. The Woodpeckers have been plagued by some bad drops and roster issues all season. I’d give them more grief but the truth is that this is what they did last year before winning the D6 title, so I’ll let them do what they do right now. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 15

Come From Behind vs Today’s Feast (+7) - Today’s Feast has quietly slid into 3rd place in the D5 standings, and while they’re trending upwards, this game is a real test for them. Come From Behind has been lights out all season (even in defeat) and Paul LoVullo has turned back the clock to 1963 when he first started playing QB. Yes, there’s a decent chance he invented the forward pass, and yes, there’s an even better chance he’s the master of it. COME FROM BEHIND BY 13

TMA vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - Round two it is. TMA and CFB just had a classic game, so why not run it back? I don’t love that the schedule worked out this way, having these teams meet again so quickly, but it happens. Let’s go with the more intriguing scenario here. This time, CFB pulls it out. COME FROM BEHIND BY 3

TMA vs Let’s Get Reccked (+12) - Tell me if you’ve heard this before. TMA is 5-0, clicking on all cylinders, looking to be the top seed in the playoffs and are the odds on favorite to win the championship. Yeah, me too. Sadly, even if you’ve heard this story 7 times already, 97% of the time it ends in tragedy. I think TMA has made the proper roster adjustments to be as dialed in as possible this season though. Let’s Get Reccked has a long way to go if they’re going to be taken seriously, as new teams need time to develop chemistry. They’re already really good at the bar though, so they’ve got Step 1 down at least. They’re not ready for TMA. TMA BY 17

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

Lenny’s Ladies 41, Blitzkrieg 30

Lenny’s Ladies 34, Punt Cakes 22

Blitzkrieg 35, Not So Sticky 31

The TSL’s most competitive division stayed that way as Lenny’s Ladies had a big week in knocking off Blitzkrieg and Punt Cakes. BK would later go on to beat Not So Sticky in a battle of the division’s current top teams.

This Week’s Games:

Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies (+5) - Oh phenomenal. These two “rivals” meet on the field yet again, and you just never know what will happen. Sometimes they tie. Sometimes a female QB puts up 77 points. Mayhem. NSS won’t look as good because they’ll be sober (its an 11AM game) but they’ll still walk away with a big win. NOT SO STICKY BY 8

Superior Moser Squad vs Two Tuddies (+10) - The biggest issue the Tuddies are going to have against SMS is that they’ll struggle to keep up with the gender scores. The Tud Buds are still working in their new female players and getting everyone on the same page. That’s a lot different than a family team that’s done this for decades. SUPERIOR MOSER SQUAD BY 12

Superior Moser Squad vs Lenny’s Ladies (EVEN) - The Ladies had a great week to move to 3-2 this season, and SMS sits at 2-2 themselves. This should be a fun game for sure. But I think there’s one thing everyone wants this game. With Lauren or Rylee throwing for SMS, I think it would be awesome if Lenny’s Ladies had a female QB this week too. Let’s get an all female QB game going! SUPERIOR MOSER SQUAD BY 3

Blitzkrieg vs Punt Cakes (+5) - Blitzkrieg has been doing BK things so far this season, and it feels more like they’re fine tuning some stuff for the playoffs. Punt Cakes is still figuring out just about everything else. It usually takes a session to really get going in the TSL, so hopefully the Cakes aren’t getting too frustrated with the lack of results. BLITZKRIEG BY 14

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

1. How do you feel about the Female Rankings that just came out? I’m not entirely sure they’re correct. I feel like they really got these ones wrong on the committee, and I was thinking that we should have the females themselves vote on it. Could you imagine that fun?

 2. Who are the most surprising teams so far this season? Puckett All-Stars have been tremendous this season. They’re not usually this good during the season and I love it. On the downside of things, Practice Squad is just all of out sorts right now and that’s a surprise too.

 3. Did you get your final final rosters in? Due to some new teams not understanding the rules, and some old teams being banana heads, The TSL opened up rosters for everyone to be able to add anyone that isn’t already on a team to their roster. You have until noon today (Friday) to do it, so hopefully if you didn’t see the email from Jeff Krol, you read this article early in the day.

 4. Are all players on two teams reffing? There are more than a few “notable names” on two teams this season that haven’t reffed at all just yet. Most of them are female players (and a bunch on the Top TSL Females list), but if they don’t referee they won’t be eligible for two co-ed teams next session. (They can still play on a gender team though). And I’m SURE there are a lot of males on two teams that haven’t reffed their games yet that won’t be eligible for two teams next season. Start getting your games in, don’t wait until the last minute!

 5. Can I be on the podcast? Yes! Of course! The TSL podcast is always looking for new guests each week, so if you want to be on just ask Jeff Krol, Joe K, Emily Schilling, or really anyone (if you don’t know who those people are) and they’ll direct you to them to get it set up.

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 1. I really hope Tight Ends In Motion beats Legends this weekend, simply so that we can have a proper D1 title race.

 2. There are currently 6 undefeated teams left in the TSL so far. Legends, TEIM, Frodo Swaggins, Bullet Club, Cunning Stunts, TMA. Lots of long time TSL Franchises getting it done this season (and the Legends, who are just an All-Star roster of long time players so it’s basically the same thing).

 3. There are currently 5 teams without a win so far this season. Two of them are called Buffalo Vice in some way.

4. Here are the top games to watch this week:

1. 10:00 - DILFs vs The Untouchaballs
2. 11:00 - Legends vs Tight Ends In Motion
3. 12:00 - Freeballers vs No Punt Intended
4. 1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits
5. 2:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Passed Our Prime
6. 3:00 - Mountain Dew Me vs Scott Seniors Starting

5. Fall Breakfast Club has been great to have, except it seems as though these captains aren’t doing any bets anymore, which was the best part. How weak is that? If you see Jessie, Kayla, Stephanie, Jenna, Becca, or Amber at the fields this week, make sure to boo them.

6. Speaking of Breakfast Club predictions:

1. BDSM 38, Messy Jessies 32
2. Amber Alert 40 Jennacide 32
3. Steph Infection 47, Special Kay’s 22

7. Once again, shout out to all of the referees who have stepped up to take some games and make life easy for Garrett. Coach Jay never had it this good.

 8. Yes, There will be a Winter League yet again. No, it won’t be at the Rose Garden’s new building since, well, you know.

 9. There needs to be a “Best New Players In The TSL” rankings list. If you know any players that aren’t getting the publicity they deserve, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. today!

 10. We really could use a TSL tournament at Rich Stadium sooner or later. It’d be a blast for sure. Just a thought.

-GF OUT