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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 23 April 2021 10:17

Published: Friday, 23 April 2021 10:17

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 7719

 

Ladies and Gentleman of the ever expanding TSL Universe, hello. Finally, a sense of normalcy comes to your friend The Godfather, as I get to do one of my favorite tasks in April: Write about the TSL! Last year was so weird, so different. I hope all of you navigated a crazy 2020 as safely as possible. I woke up with excitement knowing I’d be able to talk about the absolute greatest social co-ed football league in the world. And the first thing I did was check the weather in Buffalo. And man, did that excitement die down.

 

I’m kidding. But snow during opening week of the TSL after some nice weather not too long ago is more than likely Lenny’s way of “having a laugh”. The weather isn’t that much better here in Des Moines, so I can’t even gloat. But what I CAN gloat about is how spectacular this league has become.

 

You see, on Saturday, April 24^th, in the Year of Our Lord 2021, SIXTY TSL franchises across 7 divisions will begin the race for social co-ed football immortality. Sixty teams is incredible! Not only do we have our usual litany of returning teams, but we’ve added a bunch of new blood as well! Some of the area’s greatest teams and players that have yet to step foot on the hallowed fields at the Rose Garden finally realized what we’ve been saying all along – The TSL is the place to be when it comes to an awesome football Saturday experience!

 

Of course, along with the fact that there’s a ton of new people, that means I definitely won’t know a bunch of you. With that, allow me to formally introduce myself. I am The Godfather of the TSL. I’ve been writing a weekly article for the football league that I love for forever at this point. I used to play in the league but work and life sent me away to move to my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa. For quite some time I could only talk to people through fax. My advisors from the fields give me a lot of information but they can’t get to everyone. It’s impossible! So please, take a second to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to talk to me about your team and your players! If you want publicity, this is one sure fire way to get it done!

 

Thank you for joining our Topper Sports family here. You’ll be wonderfully taken care of, I know it. And as to those who have been through my schtick a thousand times by now, welcome back! Before we really get into what you’re all here for (Championship Odds and Game Predictions, of course), let’s just have a quick refresher course:

 

All of the COVID-19 protocols from the #TSL2020 season are in effect once again this season. We don’t want the state to come in and try to shut us down again so we’re adhering to the action plan they gave us until we get the green light to make any changes. Topper worked so hard to get us a league to play in last season when nobody else would, so let’s continue to make sure his work doesn’t go waste. I know it sucks, but it’s the way things have to be for now. Bring your masks, sign into the app to check in at the gate, and please use the proper entrance and exits to the fields. Thanks guys! We knocked it out of the park last year, let’s do it again!

With that out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff:

 

D1:

 

Championship Odds:

Public Enemy (2-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (3-1)

Eyes Downtown (10-1)

Why So Serious? (18-1)

Sticky Bandits (25-1)

Sloppy Seconds (30-1)

 

D1 this season is really shaping up to be a two-horse race this time around. As usual, at the top, is Public Enemy, one of the TSL’s greatest franchises waiting to be knocked off the mountain. They bring along the usual suspects, Chris Cole at QB, MVP Boccio, Cheryl and Heather etc. You know this team. Their only real battle anymore is the battle with Father Time. There’s more salt than pepper in Cole’s beard, and the ticking clock that’s chasing them down is starting to get a little louder. Looking to dethrone PE is Tight Ends In Motion. TEIM was an eyelash away from winning the D1 championship last season before blowing it in spectacular fashion. TEIM has one thing going for them though: They’re healthy now. Last season, they lost Emily Curry early to an injury and “Porkchop” Katie Salisbury took the year off. Now they’re back and adding “injury replacement but ended up being a superstar” Robin Makula to the mix gives Tight Ends the absolute best group of females in the league. Bro is back at QB for good, as he won the job after how well the team performed around him after last year’s 0-4 start. Eyes Downtown was a mess last season, and after finishing 5^th in the division (despite a hell of a playoff game against PE) it seems Bobby has cut the entire roster and is just starting from scratch. There’s a lot of new names on this roster, so it’ll be fun to see just how they mesh on the field. Why So Serious finds themselves in an interesting spot. They really came on at the end of the year, and nobody in D1 improved as much as they did from start to finish in 2020 (Yes, even TEIM). If they can still ride the momentum they found when Pete stepped away from the QB spot and handed the ball to Terrell Bolden, they can beat any team in this division. Yeah that’s right! You’re seeing “Sticky Bandits” in D1. Props to Jeff Krol and company for not only winning D2 as a 6 seed last season, they still went the honorable route and followed the unspoken rule on “If you win you division you move up the next year”. However, that was with Dave Baker. The sporting world’s biggest decision since LeBron took his talents to South Beach lasted most of the offseason, where Baker stabbed Sticky in the heart and stuck with Tight Ends In Motion. I mean, seems like a poor move since Sticky won their championship and TEIM blew a 20 point lead with 11 minutes to go. Joking aside, Baker was put in a real Sophie’s Choice situation and I don’t envy that. On the plus side, Sticky will be okay. Their replacement for Dave Baker is essentially what you would get if you made a Captain America Super Solider Serum out of Baker’s DNA and put it in an athletic, youthful body: Dean Thompson. Dean can make up for the loss of Baker, and he’s smart enough to be able to figure out the Sticky system they’ve cultivated for 100 years quickly. Even so, at the end of the day, Sticky was only the 6^th seed in D2 last season. I can’t imagine a miracle run for the title happening. And last but not least, we have Sloppy Seconds. Great team name when you consider that this is Alex Buchlis’ new D1 team. Alex, for those who don’t know, used to be the QB for Sticky Bandits, and he was the TEIM QB before he got hurt last season, resulting in the Bledsoe – Brady situation TEIM found themselves in. I don’t know much about who is on Alex’s roster yet, but if it’s a bunch of players who have been “forgotten” by other rosters out there as is rumored, it could be a nice mix of talent!

 

**For the new people out there**

               Last season, I was actually asked about what the numbers mean for the lines, and I realized not everyone in the league is a degenerate gambler, just most of them. So when I do my picks for the league week, you’ll see the following: Team A (-4) vs Team B or sometimes Team C vs Team D (+7). What this means is that Team A is getting 4 points taken away from them to “even out” the game. Essentially, A is expected to beat B by 4 or more points. Team C vs Team D is the same thing the opposite way. In this case, Team D would be getting 7 points added to their score, meaning Team C is expected to win by 7 or more. No, these numbers do not actually get added/subtracted to the score in the real game, but for the purposes of picking winners, it’s a way to make the games more even, and thus harder to pick. As you’ll see in a second, when I say TEAM A BY 3 or TEAM C by 10, I’m saying that “I think Team A will win the game by 3 points (And not cover the 4 point spread)” or “Team C will win by 10 points (thus covering the point spread by 3 points).

 

Okay, I probably just made this harder on some of you. ON TO THE GAMES…

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Not much excitement in D1 this week honestly. It seems like the Top 3 teams are all going to be playing the bottom 3 teams, which makes for a boring day of football. Wow Topper. 17 hours over 3 days to do the schedule and this is how you start D1?

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Sticky Bandits (+14) – At the very least, we get the Dave Baker “Which Team Was He Catfishing All Offseason?” Bowl. Tight Ends vs Sticky has been a long time coming, but in this current iteration of both teams, it won’t have quite the excitement we want. Welcome to D1, Sticky. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 20.

 

Public Enemy vs Sloppy Seconds (+27) – The defending D1 champs against, well, I don’t really know yet. Public Enemy gets a really fun tune up game for the season. Sloppy will have to wait a week before their season really begins. But hey, it’ll be fun to practice, right? PUBLIC ENEMY BY 24

 

Eyes Downtown vs Why So Serious? (+15) – I think the 15 points is a little too high here. Eyes Downtown is revamped, even though there have been reports of Bobby putting the team through intense offseason training workouts to get to know each other better. But practice doesn’t equate to games. WSS deserves more credit than that. I think it’s going to be a close one here. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3.

 

D2:

 

Championship Odds:

Everyone (10-1)

 

I’m almost serious here, as the TSL’s most exciting division just got even better this season. The teams from top to bottom are as close as they can be, and finding some favorites just feels insane. But here are the real numbers:

 

Peachy Platoon (4-1)

A&A (6-1)

#XTC (6-1)

Passed Our Prime (7-1)

Bullet Club (10-1)

Slytherin That End Zone (10-1)

When Dove Cries (16-1)

Losing Streak (18-1)

Scared Hitless (18-1)

Mountain Dew Me (19-1)

 

               But even then, this is still a hard division to call here. Peachy Platoon comes in as preseason favorites after a not so great season for one very good reason: Dean Thompson has returned to QB. Dean is a spectacular athlete, and not having him showed how rough a season can be for the Platoon. The revenge tour (if this team is even capable of revenge, they’re SO nice) begins this Saturday. Speaking of returning QBs, Matty Ice is making is return to the fields after a year off to perfect his video game career. But A&A will look a bit different this season, as Travis has made his yearly “I cant stay on one team too long” switch to another franchise, bringing Val with him of course. A&A should be quite competitive this year. And if you’re the Dilfs, what do you do when Travis breaks up with you and leaves you for someone else? Well, you go back to your roots, become XTC again, and get two players better than Travis anyway in the returning Joe Russell and Eric Flynn. XTC looks to be very good this season, it’s a shame they didn’t go battle in D1. Passed Our Prime had a heck of a showing in the TSL Indoor league this winter, finishing with the top record and going toe to toe with a lot of the TSL’s best players. They fell short of a championship there, but they got infinitely better by bringing along our old friend Bloomfield. Derrick (Darrick?) is a human highlight reel and is probably too good to be in D2, but here we are. Bullet Club spent their offseason spending lots of money in free agency. The roster looks to be revamped as they signed Rawdog away from Quinn and added Steph Czaja to the female side of things. Of course, they tried the 5 girls on the roster thing before and it blew up in their faces, so here’s hoping they figured it out this time around. But most importantly, BC added Scotty Drosendahl to be the QB this season. Scotty has always had the talent to be one of the league’s best, and now he finally has the supporting cast to get him there. SITE finally had that breakout season they’ve been waiting for. They’re not NOT in the “favorites” to win the title this season, and they only reason they’re ranked lower than maybe they should be is that they didn’t really add anyone this season. Except I noticed Seth on their roster, so if Bad Newman comes to play, perhaps they already have his replacement ready at QB. When Dove Cries is Topper’s entrant into the TSL world this season. Hofbrauhaus finally opens and takes away their sponsorship. Weird. Anyway, WDC returns a lot of talent that they were missing due to injury and/or opting out from COVID, which will immediately get them back on the right track. As usual, this team lives and dies by the arm of Topper, who was recently seen looking for bionic arms in order to extend his career by 20 years. Losing Streak comes to us this season, as Jordan Lawson had so much fun reffing our games last year that he just HAD to be a part of it. Jordan is a smart QB, and there are some names that I vaguely recognize on his squad (and one that I know, Chris Nelson) which means if this team can adjust to the TSL style of play quickly, we’re looking at a really good bet at 18-1 here. Scared Hitless did in one season what All We Do Is Quinn couldn’t in ten years: win D3, and as a result, they moved up like the heroes they are. Adding free agents isn’t a problem here either as Brandon Farr has added his childhood hero, his brother Jeff, to the squad. That makes an already impressive team that much more impressive. There may still be a learning curve though, and questions about if Dylan can play D2 seamlessly are there. Finally, we come to Mountain Dew Me. The various Swedish clones demolished D5 last season and decided to jump up to D2. Mind you, this is the team that got smacked in D4 the year before. But there’s one little, tiny, short difference: Joey Batts. The MDM FA signing of both Battaglias (Jill and Joey that is) AND Glasses can only mean great things, but I don’t know if it’s enough for a three division jump.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

A&A vs Slytherin That End Zone (+3) – The brand new A&A hasn’t really played a game together yet, where as SITE is still largely the same group. Watch for SITE to capitalize on a few A&A mistakes, or, “growing pains” here. SITE BY 6

 

When Dove Cries vs Scared Hitless (+4) – Another Grade A matchup from D2. The QBs are about even, and while the males players on Scared Hitless are more athletic, the males on WDC are smarter (No, Topper isn’t included here). This game will come down to the ladies. If Joey is now a consistent part of the roster to go along with Jaimie, Carly, and Cat, Hitless may boast the best girl squad in D2. But, Kelly and the Clarkes are no slouches either. SCARED HITLESS BY 1.

 

Peachy Platoon vs Losing Streak (+5) – Team brand new to the TSL vs one of the most dominant teams in recent memory that just got the band back together? Leseaon scores twice here. Don’t forget about him. PEACHY PLATOON BY 13.

 

Bullet Club vs Passed Our Prime (+4) – I was informed by the TSLQBRC (who makes the lines for us don’t forget) that POP may be without their QB for the first week, hence the line being a little screwy based off preseason projections. It’s hard to win a game without your QB, and Bullet Club has been the posterchild of that scenario for years now. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

#XTC vs Mountain Dew Me (+13) – I really hate harping on MDM because they DID add Joey, but until proven otherwise, a three division jump still feels too high so quickly. I hope Joe Russell wears the Ultimate Warrior tassels. Please send a pic if he does. XTC BY 8

 

 

D3:

 

Championship Odds:

 

All We Do Is Quinn (3-1)

Matty’s Angels (5-1)

Top Shot (6-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (8-1)

Frodo Swaggins (10-1)

Wolfpack (20-1)

Vaspian (22-1)

 

               D3 finds itself in a very weird place this season. The teams that have been here really didn't get much improved, and most, if anything, got worse in some places. Meanwhile the new kids on the block to D3 really are the ones that could make some noise. All We Do Is Quinn finds themselves at the top of the odds rankings heading into the season, while they don't seem to have added much to the team, honestly, they didn't have to. Yes, they lost Rawdin to D2, but that loss won't hurt nearly as much as the loss of Cat Peters the year before. Quinn always seems to have another ginger man ready to step in. The good news for Quinn is that thier biggest problems from last year: Scared Hitless and Frodo Swaggins are either gone or got worse. But there are other, new problems for them this season. Matty's Angels is one of them. This team of bad ass women ran roughshod over D4 for too long now, and finally, with Matty back in the fold, the best gender team in the history of the TSL (yeah Cole, i said it) takes thier talents to D3 to finally look for some competition. Ironically, they find it in the form of old nemesis Blase LaDuca, who brings TopShot to the league this season. From what i've been told by the powers that be, Blase attempted to put in a team of D1 players and himself and pass it off as a D3 team. While yes, he brings them down, that wasn't going to happen. However, Blase does have himself a promising QB in Dylan Jaloza and even with a "toned down" roster, they still sport D1 newcomer (And potential rookie of the year candidate) Adrian Cannon and the poster child for a super good talent playing in divisions he's way too good for in Chris Nelson (Seriously, they named an award after him). This team is going to be a tough out, it just depends how long it takes them to put it all together. Grey Hair Don't Care slots in right behind them, and while this team doesn't have many roster changes it seems, they don't need it. This team has been playing together all off season as they perfect thier craft, and they'll be in every single game they play. The Untouchaballs come back, and I still don't know who any of them are. They can score, but they can't stop anyone. If they make even some slight improvements on defense, they become an instant sleeper team. Frodo Swaggins is a bit of a changeover this season. With Scotty Dro gone, Garrett becomes the full time QB. This is good and bad. The good is that Garrett isn't too bad of a QB, especially with reps. The bad is that the team loses him and his suspect hands on offense, unless he's learned the Mr. Perfect 100 yard throw and catch to himself. This team has a returning Josh and Kristen, and Emily Schilling makes her "i'm not hurt anymore" return as well, plus Nick and Tammy are always good for every game they play. Things aren't completely hopeless, don't get me wrong, its just needing to gel as a team in a different way. Up next, the TSL's long standing "it" couple of JZ and Garbacz have entered a team, which you just know one thing: It's going to be full of handsome men. (oh hello Russ Santucci and Ward Blewitt. I told you.) This team has a lot of potential, so its going to be quite interesting to see how everything meshes. Having Dorene, Liz Farley, and Parker on the team definitely helps too. Finally, Vaspian comes up in the rear. I love everything about this team, but somehow they've stagnated in their growth it seems. I'm really hoping to see them take the next step to being competitive this season! 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

All We Do Is Quinn vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+9) – AWDIQ has a nice matchup to start the season and shake some rust off. Grey Hair already has their rust shaken off, as I said earlier, but I don’t think they simply have the horses to run with Quinn. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 6

 

Matty’s Angels vs The Untouchaballs (+16) – This game is going to score a million points. Both teams have dynamic offenses, and there’s ZERO way Matty isn’t going to try to break 100 points in this one. This one will come down to who has the football last. MATTYS ANGELS BY 8

 

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+10) – Well, this is a nice way for Frodo to ease into their new era. Catching a team that can’t play defense on their second straight game. Frodo is going to win by a decent amount and I’ll be getting an email from Garrett about it by Saturday night. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Wolfpack (+7) – Same goes for Wolfpack here. They’ll be catching Frodo on their second game. The issue here, of course, is that the Pack hasn’t played a game together just yet. It’ll be a nice gender battle on top of things, and this might be the game of the day in D3. WOLFPACK BY 2

 

Top Shot vs Vaspian (+13) – Top Shot gets an easier entrance into the TSL with a game against Vaspian. I feel like I’m being too harsh on Vaspian. They’re a group of awesome people who can definitely hang with the league. It’s just that they’ve been inconsistent so far, and Top Shot has a pretty nice roster who can play. TOP SHOT BY 10

 

D4:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Cunning Stunts (3-1)

Practice Squad (5-1)

Buffalo Vice (5-1)

Jabronies (12-1)

TOX (12-1)

Not So Sticky (15-1)

Cobblestone (15-1)

Itches and Ohs (18-1)

Juiced (20-1)

Freeballers (50-1)

 

               D4 looks to be a slobberknocker at the top for sure. After a few seasons with a 6-team D4, we find ourselves with a 10 team division that has a lot of questions marks, but a lot of potential too. Let’s get it out of the way now, as much as it may irk Dan Gonzalez and the rest of Buffalo Vice, The Cunning Stunts are the preseason queens of the division. Last season doesn’t even count, as the Stunts were missing some of there stars who opted out from playing. They’re all back, and then some. The Stunts should be a machine again, and with their mortal enemies in Matty’s Angels not around anymore, they have a clear path to the title. Practice Squad might be getting slightly too much hype in their odds, but they dominated D5 last season once B stepped in behind center. They even nearly beat the MDM buzzsaw. Meanwhile ever other team save for Buffalo Vice has questions. It’ll be fun watching this unfold. Speaking of Buffalo Vice, they trot out nearly the same team that dominated D4 for most of the season. Andy Clark is back to throw the ball a million yards, and Brett Cole is back to lead the defense into battle. They boast a better than you might think group of females as well. If they were ever overdue to have a big season and win the title, this is it. The Jabronies find themselves without an identity. It seems like a lot of the former players all didn’t commit and now Joe Miano is QBing a mostly different, somewhat patchwork squad. But, he’s developed well as a QB, and he did manage to grab Alex Baker to play as well. If they can get the cards aligned, anything is possible. TOX decided that going nearly winless in D5 meant they should go to D4. Lucky for them, they added Aaron Balcerzak and the Tommy Hughes nobody likes to join the most honorable prophet Dave Walter to form a pretty good crew for Topper to throw to. This team will live and die every week with how well their girls play. Leslie rocks for sure, but the rest – Raena, Jenna, and Amanda all have talent and potential, but they’re still working out the bugs at times. Not So Sticky is a Jeff Krol creation, thrown together at apparently the last minute. Ricky Recckio isn’t great at catching the ball for Sticky Bandits so let’s see how he does throwing it. Krol hasn’t submitted a roster yet it seems, so I don’t know who else he signed to the team just yet. But I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun individuals. Cobblestone had a great #TSL2020 season, I think they were 6-2-1, losing only to Practice Squad and MDM, which everyone else did too. Darryl and company are looking to build on that success and this is a team that can very well compete. I also see that they signed the Lattucas, so I’m looking forward to seeing Sam (fine, and Anthony too, I guess) back on the field. Itches and Ohs was Family Feud last season. At least part of them were. It seems FF split into Ohs and Juiced. Itches has a lot of good players, namely all of the Mosers, Streeters, and Streits. Juiced has a bunch of people I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to hearing more about them. Finally, last year’s duds, 40 year plan guy’s Freeballers. Yeah, the 50-1 odds were just for the joke, and in reality this team has some talent with Anthony Deak and George Lombardo. Unless George is throwing for them again. Regardless, they also roster the TSL’s favorite ray of sunshine in Trish Esposito, who leads an underrated group of girls.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

TOX vs Itches and Ohs (+8) – TOX looked like they were coming along in the indoor session, and they’ve been playing together for a bit now. Meanwhile I don’t know if Ohs have ever played a game together yet. So yeah, let’s go with the golden arm of Topper here. TOX BY 18

 

Buffalo Vice vs Cunning Stunts (+3) – This is a top notch Week 1 showdown for sure. A probable championship preview. Both teams know each other well and this one could go either way. But, I like that instead of using “Solar Solutions” they’re called “Vice” now. Makes me think about Don Johnson. Anyone under 25 can google that. BUFFALO VICE BY 4

 

Not So Sticky vs Juiced (+1) – I know that the people playing with NSS know how to play football. I have no idea if anyone on Juiced does. NOT SO STICKY BY 7

 

Practice Squad vs Jabronies (+5) – A well oiled machine vs a team put together with a lot of spare parts, tape, and glue. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 14

 

D5:

 

Championship Odds:

Show Me Dem TDs (4-1)

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-1)

Breast Friends (8-1)

Wasted Potential (10-1)

Puckett All-Stars (10-1)

The Bambs 2.0 (11-1)

Zack Attack (12-1)

University Wealth Management (15-1)

 

               D5 could be anyone’s game. Show Me Dem TDs is what used to be Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, which is a complete downgrade in a team name. Yes, the roster took a few hits but Jon Senn still has Timmy Z throwing the rock and Jackee Thompson there catching it. I don’t see too much of a difference here, save for the loss of Chris Nelson. ILF has Dave Baker playing QB for them, and there’s nothing more satisfying than a man playing ball with his son. This team should make some waves this year. Breast Friends is one of our new gender teams this season, as Travis has decided to get back in the gender game. They boast quite a few of the talented ladies from this league, and does my eye spy the return of Hollie Speroni? I hope so! Wasted Potential is better known as the Passless Chaps, and its great to have that good group of people back in the league. Coach Jay will be back as the QB, and this is a team that really kicked it up a notch when he first took over. Puckett All-Stars is back too! They’re in a lower division this time around, but its always awesome to see them back. They’re incredibly underrated but they know what they do best and how to win football games. The Bambs moved up after their D6 championship last season, and it’ll be nice to see how they play against stiffer competition. Derek Sekuterski returns and he’ll look to repeat his awesome season last year. Zack Attack is back yet again, and they may as well be a gender team as they roster seven women! That, I think, is the most of any non gender team. Finally UWM is Team Keller! I don’t know where this name came from but JUST BE 3^RD AND SCHLONG! I can’t wait to see Scotty Sr.’s golden arm back on the field asap!

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Breast Friends (+6) – A veteran team versus a newly formed gender team full of veterans. This game hinges on how well the girls can get their defense figured out. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 3

 

Wasted Potential vs University Wealth Management (+15) – I’m already sick of typing out all of UWM’s name. I don’t think 15 points is a fair line. This game is going to be very close, but in the end I’m going to take Coach Jay and bet on the better QB. WASTED POTENTIAL BY 6

 

Wasted Potential vs Breast Friends (+4) – The second game for both of these teams means they’ll have had some time to figure things out on both sides. A Coach Jay vs Travis QB battle is nice too. I think the Ladies will pull this one out here. BREAST FRIENDS BY 8

 

Zack Attack vs Show Me Dem TDs (+3) – I really like how Zack Attack is getting better every season. I think they’ve improved consistently since starting in the league and this season should be no different. However, Show Me might be slightly ahead of where they’re at here. SHOW ME DEM TDS BY 3

 

ILF vs The Bambs 2.0 (+10) -  Regardless from what I’ve said above, im not sure ILF should be a ten point favorite just like that. I know the Bambs are looking to make their mark as well. Call this one a slight upset. THE BAMBS BY 4

 

D6:

 

Championship Odds:

 

Graves Bros (3-1)

Tater Tots (5-1)

Blitzkrieg (7-1)

TMA (10-1)

The BiPolar Express (12-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (13-1)

Victorious Secret (15-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (15-1)

WoodPeckers (18-1)

Travis Henry’s Kids (20-1)

 

               Graves Bros lead D6, just like they did last year. The Steve Miller Band is back to right the wrongs of last season and take the D6 title. The Tator Tots had such a great season where things really came together for them. I can only imagine them improving even more this season, and really competing for the title. Dave Marcus has put together a nice team there. Blitzkrieg was on the verge of really being a contender last season before the unfortunate injury to QB Alex. But it seems the gang is all back, including stand out Allie Metzger, Ethan, and of course, Light Red Hoodie Guy, who I expect should wear the hoodie even in the summer. He can cut the sleeves off or something. TMA is back with pretty much the same roster as before, although I believe “Tall Nick” will be available for the whole season. That’s a big win. Hopefully another season of continuity will help them finally get over the hump that they’ve been trying to get over for what feels like forever. Clearly, they need to use Diana more. The BiPolar Express is back, and of the THREE gender teams D6 has to offer, they’ve been around the longest in the TSL. Gordon has a great football mind, and it’ll be nice to finally see them put it all together. Spinelli’s Plumbing was PC Plumbing. I’m pretty sure they’ll be rocking a similar roster to the last few seasons, which found them in the middle of the pack. Victorious Secret is a brand new gender team lead by Jordan Lawson. He brought a lot of new ladies to the league (don’t be creeps, gentlemen) and I’m excited to see what they can do here. Lenny’s Ladies makes their return, and while the roster seems to have gone through a few changes they get Joe K back from injury this year. They boast some talented ladies themselves with Robin Makula and Jaimie Warren, two women who won MVPs in their divisions if I remember correctly. The WoodPeckers are the Pteratacos to a degree. Not sure why they went with this name, but its whatever. It’ll be interesting to see how they fare moving down to D6. Finally, we have another brand new team in Travis Henry’s Kids. A team I know nothing about but would love to learn more about where they’re from and who they are.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Victorious Secret vs Blitzkrieg (+4) – The line makers do *not* agree with the Championship Odds here! Or else they know more about the Secret than others do in the TSL. What I do know, however, is that Light Red Hoodie Guy is a stud and he’s *not* on Victorious Secret. As a result, I have to go with my gut here. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

Lenny’s Ladies vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+1) – The Joe K debut for his Ladies team gets off to a start against a team completely unknown by TSL standards. I don’t fully know what to expect here at all from either side, so let’s just bet on the unknown! TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 7

 

Graves Bros vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+5) – Graves Bros are very, very good. Spinelli’s are kind of sort of average. I think Graves Bros are on a mission, and if they’re not, they should be. GRAVES BROS BY 10

 

Tater Tots vs The BiPolar Express (+7) – These teams can absolutely put on a show this week, and I think 7 points is a bit much. I’d expect a close contest, but in the end I think we’ll see the Tots pull it out late. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

TMA vs WoodPeckers (+3) – Will Prim vs Mark be our season’s first fight? The odds on that are pretty high. TMA is all about defense, and Mark’s Dad isn’t going to be able to move the ball against them, especially with a lot of rust on the 80 year old arm. TMA BY 12

 

Tater Tots vs TMA (+4) – This is a nice little rivalry game for Week 1. These teams know each other pretty well and they’ve played some intense games. I think at this point though, the Tots are a bit better. TATER TOTS BY 6

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1. Who are the newest TSL superstars going to be? The league has added so many new players that it’s going to be so fun to see how stands out on and off the field!

 

2. How good will the “new” Eyes Downtown actually be? Let’s face it, if Bobby’s new roster can compete with the top teams in the division, D1 will be much more exciting.

 

3. How many more gender teams can we get? I think its awesome that we have six gender teams that will really show off how talented our females are. If you’re interested in playing, don’t be shy! Reach out! We have the potential to have 4 gender champions this year, and that’s actually realistic.

 

4. Who are the best long shots to win each division according to the odds? Eyes Downtown (10-1), Losing Streak (18-1), Frodo Swaggins (10-1), Freeballers (50-1), The Bambs (11-1), Victorious Secret (15-1).

 

5. Who do I think will win each championship? Tight Ends over Public Enemy, Peachy Platoon over Slytherin That End Zone, All We Do Is Quinn over Matty’s Angels, Buffalo Vice over Cunning Stunts, The Bambs over Show Me Dem TDs, and Graves Bros over TMA.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Again, make sure you follow proper protocols on and off the fields!

 

2. Here are the best matchups for every hour:

               10:00 – Sticky Bandits vs Tight Ends In Motion

               11:00 – Matty’s Angels vs The Untouchaballs

               12:00 – Losing Streak vs Peachy Platoon

               1:00 – The Bambs vs ILF

               2:00 – XTC vs Mountain Dew Me

               3:00 – Tator Tots vs TMA

 

3. I can’t wait to see Breakfast Club results. It’s awesome that we have 8 teams this season, and its chock full of awesome players. It’s going to be a good one.

 

4. The weather looks like it’s going to be 63 degrees! They’ll be soft from the snow you guys got, but it’s shaping up to be a glorious day! Wear. Sunscreen.

 

5. It’s good to know that the TSL podcast is back! I listened to the first one and it got me ready for the season. If you want to be a guest on the podcast, you can email topper or talk to Joe K at the fields. They should really have an email address.

 

6. Speaking of email addresses, please, take a few minutes of your time and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me know about your team and what I’m getting wrong. I love chatting with the TSLers since I can’t see them in person.

 

7. A special shout out here to Topper, Val, Travis, Joe K, Coach Jay, Emily, Jeff Krol, and everyone else that’s been going above and beyond for this league. It’s appreciated more than you guys know.

 

8. Will we FINALLY get the return of B’s Brother? It’s been far, far too long.

 

9. Mark your calendars for June 5^th. That’s the Lenny and Rameer celebration day. Be there.

 

10. The TSL is BACK everyone! You’ve waited so long for this moment and while its not *quite* perfect, its still perfect. I’m excited for this season. There are so many more new storylines and people to get to know. Please, treat everyone with respect and be kind to each other. Have fun out there!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Saturdays just got a million times better for the next few months. Enjoy them! I’ll be here, waiting to hear all about it.

 

-GF

Finals Weekend

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 23 October 2020 19:38

Published: Friday, 23 October 2020 19:38

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 6168

 

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe:

 

WELCOME TO CHAMPIONSHIP WEEKEND!

 

It took a long time to get here, but we know that. We know what we’ve overcome in the #TSL2020 season to get to this point. But it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that we made it, and on October 24^th in the Year of Our Lord 2020, the TSL will crown 6 New Champions. 6 teams will earn their place in history alongside their claim to Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. This one is special. It was unlike any other championship that preceded it, and (hopefully) will be unlike any of the ones that follow.

 

On this Saturday, the remaining 26 of the TSL’s 44 teams will do battle. All of D1 is still around, so if Gryffindor or Why So Serious? has any hope of winning the D1 title, it’ll take 3 straight wins to do so. Good luck.

 

And just when I thought this league couldn’t surprise me anymore, it did. The fact that there was only ONE “upset” last week is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard of. I thought Topper was messing with me when he told me on Sunday. That’s right, other than The Untouchaballs’ 21-7 victory over Grey Hair Don’t Care, every single higher seed won this weekend (with the exception of the play-in games, somehow).

 

That’s incredibly boring, and you all know it. And in the TSL, it feels almost impossible! We usually have a shocker or two that gets the league talking! But NO, not this season. And most of the games weren’t even close. The few that were, were VERY exciting. For example:

 

Frodo Swaggins 39, Vaspian 38 – Scotty Dro let out an email to TSL brass last weekend, claiming how his team lets him down and he’s looking for a D1 team next year. . . Then he proceeds to not even show up for the playoffs. This resulted in Frodo having to have Garrett play QB, and they had to play 3 guys and 3 girls all game. That’s not ideal, unless you’re Vaspian. Vaspian, fresh off their win over En Fuego in the play-in round, stayed close all game before tying the game with little to no time left on the clock. They ALMOST won the game on the conversion, but failed. This brought us to OVERTIME. Vaspian struck first, scoring a gender TD but failing on the conversion. Frodo went to respond, and finally did, getting a huge gender TD to tie the game. But they were successful on their conversion, giving them a 1 point win.

 

Uncle Rico’s 37, Freeballers 31 – I’m starting to think that the Freeballers never “all had COVID” but instead proceeded to get some sort of PEDs to get them playing like an actual football team this week. After knocking out the Stunts, they took URTT to the limit. Uncle Rico’s was forced to score with no time left to take this game that you’d have guessed they’d win by 21. Rico’s moved on, but barely.

 

Slytherin That End Zone 24, Bullet Club 16 – A back and forth, defensive affair is the opposite of how these two teams play each other normally. After taking a quick 15-0 lead, SITE couldn’t do anything after that for most of the game. Bullet Club took a 1 point lead with apparently like 9-10 minutes left. After more back and forth, with SITE down to 5-1 not far from the endzone, Newman found Taylor Pagano for a gender TD with 29 seconds left to secure the win.

 

Graves Bros 29, The BiPolar Express 24 – Another typical close game between these two teams. Both were considered to be among the division’s best and even if this was a #1 vs #8 seed matchup, you wouldn’t have known it. BPX started coming together at the end of the season, but Graves Bros has been good all year and deserved this one.

 

 

But that’s it. FOUR close games. If there were more, its because nobody told me about it. What a boring league. Why do we even bother playing?

 

Oh, that’s right, because football is awesome.

 

So who’s going to win the TSL Championships this weekend? Well, Let me tell you:

 

D1:

 

Okay, I proceeded to give you all the “Round 1” games and breakdown last week, so if you want to read it, feel free to scroll down a lot to that article and remind yourself. And if you didn’t read it last week? FOR SHAME FOR NOT READING MY ARTICLE. All jokes aside, this is going to be an interesting wrinkle for some of these teams with championship aspirations. For the sake of having something to write, I’m going to use my predicted winners from last week for the matchups here. No offense to Gryffindor or Why So Serious?. Prove me wrong, it’s my favorite.

 

#1 Public Enemy (7-1) vs #5 Eyes Downtown (3-4)

Points For (Division Rank): PE – 33.38 (2^nd), ED – 28.43 (5^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): PE – 25.25 (1^st), ED – 33.00 (4^th)

Overall TSL Rank: PE 3^rd, ED 28th

TSLQBPRC Line: Public Enemy (-6)

Past Game(s): Public Enemy 28, Eyes Downtown 18

 

It’s on. Right? Don’t let the rankings deceive you, Eyes Downtown is a better team than they’ve shown this year. There may have been zero total games they’ve had their full roster, but I believe this week they’ll be at full power. But, how good are they? There’s a lot of new faces over there, including some females that have never played in a TSL playoff game before, much less one that they have to deal with Heather and Cheryl in. I’m giving the edge to Public Enemy for their experience and having continuity this season. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 9

 

#2 Tight Ends In Motion (5-3) vs #3 Marketing Mayors (4-4)

Points For (Division Rank): TEIM – 38.50 (1^st), MM – 30.29 (4^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TEIM – 26.75 (2^nd), MM – 28.00 (3^rd)

Overall TSL Rank: TEIM  14^th, MM 21st

TSLQBPRC Line: Tight Ends In Motion (-3)

Past Game(s): Tight Ends In Motion 29, Marketing Mayors 28

 

So, what a ride for Tight Ends this season. After an awful start, they’re finding themselves with the hottest offense in the TSL. It’s always a shame to say this, but the injury to Alex has once again become the best thing for them. “Bro” Kleckler came in, along with Robin Makula, and the offense is at a level never before achieved by TEIM. The hottest story in the TSL the last few seasons has been “How good would TEIM be with a better QB?” and now we’re seeing it. As good as the Mayors are, TEIM is just better right now. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 7

 

The End Result: Public Enemy brings out the best in everyone, but especially Tight Ends. TEIM is going to want this game badly, for obvious reasons, but “at the end of the day” (say that in B’s Brother’s voice please), the champs retain. PE just has a slightly more talented roster, and the best QB of all time. That gives them the edge in what will be an EXCELLENT D1 final. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 2

 

D2:

Last Week’s Games:

Dilfs 37, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 16

Jabronies 26, Peachy Platoon 18

Sticky Bandits 43, Morning Wood 28

SITE 24, Bullet Club 16

 

#1 Dilfs (7-2) vs #4 Slytherin That End Zone (5-4)

Points For (Division Rank): Dilfs – 33.63 (3^rd), SITE – 31.11 (4^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Dilfs – 26.00 (1^st), SITE – 28.89 (3^rd)

Overall TSL Rank: Dilfs 5^th, SITE 18th

TSLQBPRC Line: Dilfs (-9)

Past Game(s): Dilfs 35, SITE 22

 

 

The Dilfs have pretty much dominated this division all season. Their only losses have been to Sticky in Week 1 with a lot of players missing and a midseason loss to Jabronies. That’s it. Meanwhile, SITE’s 5 wins are as follows: HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, Morning Wood, a Week 1 win against Jabronies, and two late comeback wins against Bullet Club and Peachy Platoon. Not exactly world beating. The Dilfs are just a little bit better than SITE in everything, except for being younger. I don’t think that comes into play here. DILFS BY 12

 

#2 Jabronies (6-3) vs #3 Sticky Bandits (5-4)

Points For (Division Rank): Jabronies – 34.33 (2^nd), Sticky – 34.44 (1^st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Jabronies – 27.56 (2^nd), Sticky – 33.22 (7^th)

Overall TSL Rank: Jabronies 10^th, Sticky Bandits 17th

TSLQBPRC Line: Sticky Bandits (-1)

Past Game(s): Sticky Bandits 39, Jabronies 28

 

I don’t know what it is about these two teams, but it seems like Sticky just always has the Jabronies’ number. It’s possibly because the Jabronies are made up of all of the players that weren’t good enough to crack the Sticky Roster. They play the same Krol-Baker offense, AND defense. Sticky has been doing this longer, and they tend to know what the Jabronies are going to do before they even do it. Logically, Jabronies should be able to score a lot more on Sticky, but they can’t. Until they start proving things otherwise, I’ll just go with what should happen, since that’s what this season seems to be about anyway. STICKY BANDITS BY 6

 

The End Result: Well, we’ve kind of just seen this game two weeks ago. Dilfs won 39-31. That’s not a “guaranteed” win for the Dilfs, but when it comes down to it, they’ve just been the best team in the division all season. Barring half the team needed to get a rapid COVID test in Syracuse or something this time (more on that one later), the repeat feels on. DILFS BY 7

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 42, En Fuego 25 (Play-In Game)

Frodo Swaggins 39, Vaspian 38 (OT)

The Untouchaballs 21, Grey Hair 7

 

#1 All We Do Is Quinn (8-1) vs #5 The Untouchaballs (3-5)

Points For (Division Rank): AWDIQ – 34.00 (1^st), Untouchaballs – 27.13 (4^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): AWDIQ – 22.43 (2^nd), Untouchaballs – 27.00 (5^th)

Overall TSL Rank: AWDIQ 7^th, The Untouchaballs 29th

TSLQBPRC Line: All We Do Is Quinn (-14)

Past Game(s): All We Do Is Quinn 32, The Untouchaballs 28

 

14 points is too much in this contest. I get it, Quinn has been a wrecking ball all season (save for the one game without Vince), but they still only beat UT by 4 points in the regular season. Quinn might blow it in the playoffs every single year, but Untouchaballs have literally never been here before. I still don’t know who they are, but at some point I will. Maybe this is the time to make a name for themselves? Maybe not. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 8

 

#2 Scared Hitless (5-2) vs #3 Frodo Swaggins (5-2)

Points For (Division Rank): SH – 30.83 (3^rd), Frodo – 33.71 (2^nd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SH – 20.17 (1^st), Frodo – 26.43 (4^th)

Overall TSL Rank: Hitless 12^th, Frodo 13th

TSLQBPRC Line: Scared Hitless (-3)

Past Game(s): DNP THIS SEASON

 

Game of the day potential right here. These two teams are VERY CLOSE to each other, so we’ll have to break it down to advantages. At QB, Assuming Scotty shows up, Frodo has a distinct advantage over Hitless there. Dylan is doing a fine job as he learns, but Scotty is an All World co-ed QB. For females, Scared Hitless has the distinct advantage because Jaimie and Cat are better than anyone on Frodo. So it comes down the supporting cast of males. Nick and an aging Garrett are nice to have, but the cupboard is bare behind them. Meanwhile, Scared Hitless boasts some impressive talent, most notably Jonny Football, Tristan, Brandon Farr and Cat’s boyfriend. I’m sure there’s some other guy I don’t know in there too. This is another place I have to give the edge to Hitless. It’ll be a good one, but SCARED HITLESS BY 12.

 

The End Result: I just want to be able to say “Man, don’t you wish Quinn had room for Cat’s boyfriend?” and give Hitless the win here. The truth is, these teams are pretty even across the board, EXCEPT at QB. Vince is just better than Dylan, and AS LONG AS QUINN DOESN’T FALL BEHIND AND LOSE THEIR HEADS BECAUSE THEY’RE PREMATURELY ASSUMING THEY’RE BLOWING IT AGAIN, that should be enough to give them the victory they’ve tried so very, very hard for. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 6

 

D4:

Last Week’s Games:

Freeballers 47, Cunning Stunts 9 (Play-in)

Uncle Rico’s 37, Freeballers 31

Over Compensators 46, Family Feud 15

 

 

#1 Buffalo Solar Solutions (6-2) vs #4 Over Compensators (3-5)

Points For (Division Rank): BSS – 35.25 (4^th), OC – 34.63 (6^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): BSS – 28.00 (1^st), OC – 40.75 (5^th)

Overall TSL Rank: BSS 8^th, OC 31st

TSLQBPRC Line: Buffalo Solar Solutions (-12)

Past Game(s): Buffalo Solar Solutions 42, Over Compensators 20

 

While these two teams have very similar offenses, the numbers show that one thing is very clear: the BSS defense will dictate how this game goes. If they play to their normal standards, BSS should walk away with the victory. However, a little birdie told me that there’s a chance that Defensive standout and potential D4 MVP Brett Cole won’t be playing this weekend. Whatever selfish reason he has to not be there (The ONLY allowed explanation is “he’s adopting a puppy”), BSS will need to overcome it. But on the OC side of things, they were talking to Topper about potentially moving around the schedule so they can have some more players make it. Considering that didn’t happen (I think?), The OC might be shorthanded as well. I’m not entirely sure they can afford to be missing players for this game, and that could allow Andy Clark to just carve up the OC defense. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 10

 

#2 The Angels (6-2) vs #3 Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (5-3)

Points For (Division Rank): Angels – 40.13 (2^nd), URTT – 42.00 (1^st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Angels – 33.75 (2^nd), URTT – 38.50 (4^th)

Overall TSL Rank: Angels 9^th, URTT 16th

TSLQBPRC Line: Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (-8)

Past Game(s): Uncle Rico’s 35, The Angels 32

 

Well, first off, bet the over here. These two teams can score, and score they will. Uncle Rico’s has been one of the better teams in the league in the second half, and they had their “scare” last weekend against the Freeballers that should keep them focused in this game. I’m not entirely sure that The Angels have a way to stop Chris Nelson, and that may be their downfall. These aren’t your Matty’s Angels here, they’re missing some key players due to injuries/being a world famous video game streamer maybe so it’s a different vibe. They don’t have the confidence they normally do. And on top of that, a good chunk of the roster have 1-3 games to potentially play before this one. It all adds up to a shocking D4 final without a gender team. UNCLE RICOS BY 12

 

The End Result: Buffalo Solar Solutions and Uncle Rico’s are going to put on a nice show for everyone. It’s the top ranked offense against the top ranked defense. But if the rumors are true on the loss of Brett for BSS, that top ranked Defense goes down a notch. Jon Senn finally gets that title. UNCLE RICOS BY 3

 

D5:

Last Week’s Games:

Practice Squad 40, Intentional Pounding 0

Mountain Dew Me 35, TOX 13

Zack Attack 26, Pteratacos 12

Cobblestone 31, ILF 20

 

#1 Practice Squad (7-1) vs #4 Zack Attack (4-5)

Points For (Division Rank): PS – 35.50 (2^nd), ZA – 25.00 (4^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): PS – 13.63 (2^nd), ZA – 22.22 (4^th)

Overall TSL Rank: Practice Squad 1^st, Zack Attack 23rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Practice Squad (-20)

Past Game(s): Practice Squad 38, Zack Attack 15

 

 

There just isn’t much to say here. Practice Squad is a level above Zack Attack. But don’t let that skew your view on the Attack. They’ve played VERY well this season, and they’ve just fallen victim to having two titans in their division. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 18

 

#2 Mountain Dew Me (7-1) vs #3 Cobblestone (6-2-1)

Points For (Division Rank): MDM – 38.35 (1^st), Cobblestone – 22.56 (6^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MDM – 6.25 (1^st), Cobblestone – 20.78 (3^rd)

Overall TSL Rank: MDM 2^nd, Cobblestone 6th

TSLQBPRC Line: Mountain Dew Me (-26)

Past Game(s): Mountain Dew Me 32, Cobblestone 6

 

I want nothing more than for Darryl Carr QB Superstar to walk onto the fields (five minutes late mostly likely) on Saturday, and slay the beast that is MDM. We all do. But it’s just not going to happen. Like Zack Attack, Cobblestone got stuck with two powerhouses in a season that they could’ve won a championship for sure. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 30

 

The End Result: It felt weird the entire time typing that PS was #1 and MDM was #2. I think the entire TSL knows that’s not true. I don’t say these things to take away from Practice Squad, but even with them on a higher level, Mountain Dew Me is even higher. It became apparent weeks ago that MDM was taking that title, and even I’m not a bad enough gambler to bet against them. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 11

 

D6:

Last Week’s Games:

The Bambs 38, PC Plumbing 16

TMA 26, Blitzkrieg 15

Graves Bros 29, The BiPolar Express 24

Tater Tots 39, Lenny’s Ladies 16

 

#1 Graves Bros (7-1) vs #4 TMA (4-4-1)

Points For (Division Rank):  GB – 33.38 (2^nd), TMA – 23.00 (8^th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): GB – 28.38 (4^th), TMA – 20.00 (1^st)

Overall TSL Rank: GB 4^th, TMA 19th

TSLQBPRC Line: Graves Bros (-2)

Past Game(s): Graves Bros 20, TMA 14

 

Maybe I just don’t give Graves Bros enough respect. Week after week, I expect them to be upset, but all they tend to do is constantly win again and again. No, they don’t kill teams, but they’re always solid and they win each week. TMA has been a much different team in the second half of the season than they were to start the year. Their defense is still elite. They can play zone or man without issue, and the pressure they get up front from their rusher forces teams into mistakes. They’ll do the same to Graves Bros. The issue will be the offense. If QB Ryan has a good day, TMA can take the title that they’re so overdue on. Honestly, if TMA can score over 20 points in a game, they’ll win. But I think it’s time to give some credit where it’s finally due. GRAVES BROS BY 6

 

#2 Tater Tots (5-3-1) vs #3 The Bambs (5-3)

Points For (Division Rank): Tots – 25.78 (6^th), Bambs – 34.00 (1^st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Tots – 22.56 (2^nd), Bambs – 28.38 (3^rd)

Overall TSL Rank: Tater Tots 11^th, The Bambs 15th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Bambs (-2)

Past Game(s): Tater Tots 29, The Bambs 26

 

Another game with huge Game of the Day potential here. The Bambs’ offense has been magical this season, which is exactly what they’ll need to beat the Tots. The Tots have also been hot the second half of the season, but the teams they’ve been playing (2 games against TMA, 2 against Lenny’s Ladies) haven’t had the best of offenses to prepare for. The Tots are fun team, and they’re getting better by the minute, but I don’t think they have what it takes to keep up with The Bambs this time, and I’m well aware they already beat them once. THE BAMBS BY 4

 

The End Result: In what can be considered a topsy turvy D6 season where literally all of the potential finals matchups are very fun, we get Graves and The Bambs. This is going to be a higher scoring affair for sure, and I think its going to come down to the wire. Seriously, these teams are as even as you can get. The Bambs average 34 points a game, and Graves scores 33.38. Both teams allow an identical 28.38 points. It’s as much of a coin flip as it can be. So, I flipped one. THE BAMBS BY 1

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      I ask this every week, but how will the weather play a factor? I see that it’s 75 degrees in Buffalo today, which is PERFECT weather for our championship games. But some overnight storms will make the fields soft, and you’ll be playing in 45 degrees tomorrow. These conditions mean that just about anything will happen. Sunscreen looks to be optional as opposed to mandatory.

 

2.      Can anyone in D1 win 3 games to take the championship? The short answer is yes. I don’t think I’d be surprised if I find out from Topper Saturday Night/Sunday that Eyes Downtown or Marketing Mayors won the title.

 

 

3.      Can All We Do Is Quinn slay the demons of their past and finally take the championship or were you just being nice? I think it lines up nicely for them, but I really, really think Scared Hitless can beat Quinn.

 

4.      Who’s the most slam dunk champion this season? It has to be Mountain Dew Me. They averaged only 6.25 points against! That’s insanity. I love Practice Squad, especially with B, but I can’t envision this going any way but MDM’s. If I had to rank my champions from above in order of confidence from most to least: Mountain Dew Me, Dilfs, Public Enemy, Uncle Rico’s, All We Do Is Quinn, The Bambs.

 

 

5.      If all of the teams in this session come back next year, and you were put in charge of who plays in what divisions for the Spring, what would the league look like? Okay, so we had 44 teams this session, which would be 4 divisions of 7, and 2 with 8. I’d want to make D6 only 6 teams, so we can have 3 divisions of 8, 2 of 7, and 1 of 6:

 

D1: Public Enemy, Eyes Downtown, Marketing Mayors, Why So Serious, Gryffindor, Tight Ends In Motion, Dilfs (7 Teams)

D2: Sticky Bandits, Slytherin that End Zone, Jabronies, Peachy Platoon, Bullet Club, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, Morning Wood, All We Do Is Quinn (8 teams)

D3: Frodo Swaggins, Scared Hitless, Buffalo Solar Solutions, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, The Angels, The Untouchaballs, Grey Hair Don’t Care, Cunning Stunts (8 teams)

D4: Over Compensators, Practice Squad, Mountain Dew Me, Cobblestone, Freeballers, En Fuego, Vaspian (7 teams)

D5: Family Feud, Pteratacos, Graves Bros, Tater Tots, Zack Attack, The Bambs, TMA, ILF (8 teams)

D6: Blitzkrieg, Lenny’s Ladies, The Bi-Polar Express, Intentional Pounding, TOX, PC Plumbing (6 Teams)

 

These would be some pretty fun divisions. To be honest though, I’d love to get 4 more teams and have 6 divisions of 8 more than anything. Chances are we’ll have some divisions of 10 in the spring when people start coming back. But this is just using the teams that we have now.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY:

 

1.      Absolute shout out to Travis, Dark Val, and Diana. I don’t know if you know this story yet, but I found it amazing. Apparently, last Friday they found out they *could* have been exposed to COVID, which meant no playoffs for them. Instead of accepting their fate, they found a rapid test center 2 ½ hours away, made appointments as soon as they opened at midnight, and drove the 5 hours round trip to get tested (and they were all negative!) and make it back in time for the games. That’s some dedication to the TSL!

 

2.      Well, I gave who I *think* will win, but here’s who I’d want to win this Saturday:

 

a.      D1: Why So Serious? (I mean, that would be amazing)

b.      D2: Jabronies

c.       D3: All We Do Is Quinn

d.      D4: Buffalo Solar Solutions

e.      D5: Cobblestone

f.        D6: Tater Tots

 

3.      Every champion from our last session is still alive. Public Enemy is still going in D1, The Dilfs are doing well in D2, Sticky acclimated to D2 just fine as D3 champs, The Angels are still around in D4, The OC is alive in D4 as well, and Zack Attack is alive in D5 as the D6 champs. It’s good to see that those who moved up are performing well. It’s not the end of the world to go up a division.

 

4.      There are currently 7 of the 8 slots for the TSL indoor league already taken. GET YOURS TODAY.

 

5.      If you’re at the fields this weekend, once again, buy Topper a drink. He deserves it for all of his hard work. Even if you’re out of the playoffs, stop by anyway!

 

6.      I look forward to Breakfast Club happening again in the Spring, we hope. In case you forgot, we were looking at record numbers and 8-10 teams as opposed to our usual 6. The secret is out.

 

7.      It doesn’t matter if it’s the last week of the season, the COVID protocols will remain in effect for the entire day. Don’t be that guy or girl.

 

8.      Congrats to everyone for (mostly) respecting the bar and not causing any problems! Good stuff right there.

 

9.      Assuming we can get back to normal next season, be prepared for the return of the usual TSL craziness you’re used to. Clowns, Podcasts, Dunk Tanks, drinking games, maybe an ice cream truck again, who knows?

 

10.   Finally, again, if you’re REALLY SURE someone on your squad should be nominated for an award or two, email the official Awards Nomination Collector Emily Curry at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and if she’s too intimidating for you, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

 

 

Good luck to all of our teams this week. Immortality is waiting for you.

 

Go get it.

 

-GF

The Godfathers final thoughts on the 2020 Fall Season

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Tuesday, 03 November 2020 22:12

Published: Tuesday, 03 November 2020 22:12

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 3078

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: It’s over.

 

One of the most confusing, stressful, and sometimes infuriating seasons in the history of the TSL came to a close on October 24^th. After countless new regulations, working with the state, working with politicians, working with the Rose Garden, managing any potential large COVID outbreaks, and dealing with what was seemingly a new challenge every single week, the TSLers that were at the fields on Championship Saturday were treated to some of the best football we’d ever seen across all of the divisions.

 

No, seriously.

 

We had crazy comebacks, game winning touchdowns, overtime games, an unexpected forfeit, and so much more.

 

Of the 19 games that were actually played this week (not counting the forfeit, obviously), 13 of them were within one score, including EVERY SINGLE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. Here were the Championship point differentials: 1, 4, 3, 3, 7 (Double OT), and 6.

 

It truly doesn’t get any better than that. It was arguably the most exciting final day in TSL history, and none of you disappointed. Thank you, TSL.

 

 

D1:

Scores:

Marketing Mayors 41, Why So Serious? 25

Eyes Downtown 34, Gryffindor 30

---------------------

Public Enemy 32, Eyes Downtown 28

Tight Ends In Motion 37, Marketing Mayors 22

 

D1 Final: Public Enemy 35, Tight Ends In Motion 34

 

The day got off to a rousing start in D1, as the Mayors took a win rather easily, where Eyes Downtown had to work to beat Gryffindor. The Second Round saw TEIM just run past a tired Mayors squad, who just didn’t have the firepower to keep up this time around. Public Enemy met Eyes Downtown in what can be considered an instant classic. Public Enemy took the lead late in the game, but Bobby McConnell marched ED down the field to score the go ahead touch down with 29 seconds left. Chris Cole would get PE down the field and into ED territory with about 5 seconds left. Cole would find Mike Boccio in the corner of the end zone to win the game and go onto the championship. And in that title game, Public Enemy looked gassed from their earlier win. Tight Ends could smell blood, and they scored a long touchdown with about 12 minutes to go to go up 34-14. And then the ghost of Lenny Alba started to roam the sidelines, and all of PE went to work. They scored. They got a stop. They scored. They got a stop. And with time running down, PE would score again, getting the conversion, and taking a 1 point lead. TEIM couldn’t score with next to no time left, and Public Enemy pulled off one of the biggest comebacks in D1 finals history.

 

 

D2:

Scores:

Slytherin That End Zone 46, Dilfs 23

Sticky Bandits 33, Jabronies 20

 

D2 Final: Sticky Bandits 35, Slytherin That End Zone 31

 

It’s only fitting that this division would once again not see either of it’s top two seeds in the finals. In the semi-finals, Sticky would defeat the Jabronies like they always seem to do. Honestly, I’ve said this before, the Jabronies are an offshoot of Sticky in so many ways. It’s not surprising that Baker and Co. knew what the Jabronies were doing before they did. Don’t let the SITE – Dilfs score confuse you. The biggest “too good to be true” story for D2 this season might’ve been that Dubey showed up just about every week to QB the Dilfs. He led them to a 7-2 record, and easily made them stand out in a crazy good division. So what happened when he was needed the most? He “Dubey-ed” the Dilfs and didn’t show. Travis had to play QB, and while he’s a pretty good backup, it also takes him off the field as a WR, which really messes up everything they try to do. Slytherin, to their credit, looked REALLY good as they didn’t mind the Dilfs’ issues at all. SITE walked away with an easy win to make the title game. And what a title game it was! SITE/Newman started with the ball and opened the game with an INT. Sticky goes onto score. The teams trade scores in an action packed first half, including a late TD where Dave Baker catches a tipped ball just before it hits the ground for a score. SITE rallies back to score just before the half to lead by 3. Sticky started the second half going deep and they throw an interception of their own. Not to be outdone, Newman throws a pick on the next play to give the ball back. Sticky hits a deep TD to Ricky Recckio, SITE answers with a deep TD, Sticky scores on a deep TD again. Sticky is up by 5 at this point, with SITE driving again, but this time they can’t score on 6^th down, Sticky goes on to score again to go up 11. SITE would score again themselves, but time wasn’t on their side and one hell of D2 championship comes to an end.

 

D3:

Scores:

All We Do Is Quinn 46, The Untouchaballs 40 (Double OT)

Scared Hitless 29, Frodo Swaggins 8

 

D3 Final: Scared Hitless 41, All We Do Is Quinn 38

 

Let’s get this out of the way now: Scared Hitless easily dispatched of Frodo Swaggins, and as a result one has to wonder about the future of Frodo. If that’s how Scotty Dro leaves the team, what an awful way to go out. All We Do Is Quinn might’ve been looking past The Untouchaballs, and they almost paid for it. The Untouchaballs are clearly a team on the rise in the TSL, and their first season as a team can be considered a success. Losing in 2 OTs to a perennial #1 seed in D3 is a great start and there’s a lot to look forward to for their future. Quinn can look at this game proudly too, because this is the game they’d usually lose and hate themselves for all winter. The D3 final was a ridiculous back and forth affair that apparently it seemed like every person on the team for Scared Hitless scored a touchdown. Dylan Day(y?) was DEALING out there, and with the little red headed girl out with an injury, the Quinn girls had next to no shot to keep up with the 3-headed monster (I mean that as a compliment ladies) of females Hitless trotted out. Quinn didn’t “blow it” here. They lost, yes, but this was a hell of a game and they shouldn’t be ashamed of themselves. In years’ past they might’ve folded under the pressure and lost by 20 but they were in this game until the final play. And yes, Hitless, it was nice of Carly to scream “HIS NAME IS KYNAN” (what a spelling that is, eh?) but nobody cares. He’s always going to be Cat’s Boyfriend, barring some sad breakup I guess.  And Cat’s Boyfriend, along with Jonny Football, Brandon “The Better” Farr, and the other guys I don’t remember is a D3 champion. They’re good, and they showed it.

 

D4:

Scores:

Buffalo Solar Solutions 53, Over Compensators 48

The Angels 21, Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 0 (forfeit)

 

D4 Final: The Angels 43, Buffalo Solar Solutions 40

 

The single most disappointing thing I’ve ever heard of in the TSL has to be something Matt Keita did. But, AFTER THAT, it’s Uncle Rico’s forfeiting on Championship Saturday. I don’t know what happened exactly, but the messages from my informants came in pretty quickly. Apparently a good chunk of the team decided to go to Florida that week, so they had to quarantine. It’s not like that wasn’t news for the last 3 months prior to the game. I don’t know if the players who went just thought they’d be able to play or something, but all they accomplished is letting their team down. I get it, it’s “Just co-ed touch football” to a good number of people, so they don’t care. But when you agree to be on a team, you have a bit of a responsibility to try to be there weekly and respect how the rest of the team feels. This league might not be the biggest deal to you, but it very well could be to others on your own team. I’m sorry that it had to come to that, and no, it’s not just coming from me being bitter that I picked them to win. Anyway, The Angels got a free pass to the finals. You know who didn’t get a free pass to the finals? Buffalo Solar Solutions. Despite being down their best player, BSS played a very spry OC team that honestly should’ve won this game. The OC scored late to take the lead, but Andy Clark threw a bomb on first down for the game winning touchdown right after that. Not bad for the OC, when you consider they were scrambling to put a roster together during the week. BSS’ reward? A championship game against The Angels, who were completely rested. BSS played their hearts out, but a Bobby McConnell INT swung the back and forth game in the girls’ favor, and they ended up coming out on top. Buffalo Solar has petitioned the league to put an asterisk next to this championship, as being gifted a spot in the championship should be frowned upon. (Note: BSS didn’t actually do this.)

 

D5:

Scores:

Mountain Dew Me 33, Cobblestone 0

Practice Squad 31, Zack Attack 29

 

D5 Final: Mountain Dew Me 31, Practice Squad 25 (Double OT)

 

Well, we finally figured out how to slow Mountain Dew Me down. Have it rain a lot the night before so they can’t run like they’re used to. I know that it looks like Cobblestone got blown out here, but the truth is, they were the better team for most of the first half. They just couldn’t hold on to should be TD’s and INTs. Darryl missed his opportunities, and eventually MDM found their footing (literally and figuratively) and won this one. Practice Squad had a “scare” of their own. Zack Attack came to play in this one, and nearly pulled off the upset here. Look out for them next season, they’re only getting better and better. MDM vs Practice Squad was everything you wanted it to be and more. Great plays on both sides of the ball for both teams. Two overtimes. PS has been lights out since B became their QB, but he’s going to spend the entire offseason thinking about his final play. B didn’t see a wide open Renee Lantz in the endzone for what would’ve been an easy TD, and instead the ball was incomplete, giving MDM the win as opposed to PS being champions. It was that close.

 

D6:

Scores:

Graves Bros 30, TMA 24

The Bambs 42, Tater Tots 38

 

D6 Final: The Bambs 36, Graves Bros 30

 

Graves Bros outlasted TMA in a hard fought game. TMA was missing a couple of players, but they got Tall Nick back to replace Drunk Meg’s Brother who was trapped at work. However, they were down to only two females as Light Val took a vacation somewhere, but Diana and Lauren were up to the task, at least until Lauren hurt her ankle pretty badly (But she played through it apparently). Toss in an interception that was overturned when it shouldn’t have been and that tells me Billy reffed a TMA game. Jokes aside, I have to give Graves Bros credit though, every single time they play a close game, it seems they come out on top. (FORESHADOWING). The Bambs dueled the Tater Tots in the other game, as they went back and forth with each other. The Bambs’ ended up making just one more defensive play than the Tots, and that was literally the difference. I’ve said this a lot this article, but the Tots have come so far since their inception, and they keep getting better and better. Dylan is a very good QB with high potential, and Nick Angelo is rising star in the league. Better days are ahead for the crispy ones. For the final, The Bambs just stuck to their script from the game before. Keep pace and make one or two more defensive plays than the other team. Lead by Derrick (we have a name for one of them!) most of the season, this week was no different as he proceeded to ball out yet again. The Bambs made the defensive plays they needed to take home the title.

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE SEASON:

 

1.      I say weekly now, I know, but I can’t give enough credit to the TSL field crew, the Rose Garden, and of course Topper for making this season a reality. We truly showed why the TSL is easily the best Social Co-ed football experience in the world.

 

2.      Complaining about a lack of upsets in the first round of the playoffs really just meant that we’d get some of the best possible games for a Championship Saturday, and again, these teams delivered. What a great day of games.

 

 

3.      Shout out to Sticky Bandits for already declaring that they’ll be going to D1 next season. I have a feeling they’ll be joining the Dilfs to give us a great, 8 team D1 next season. Scared Hitless should be fine in D2, and The Angels should’ve been in D3 a year ago. Mountain Dew Me and Practice Squad should both go up to D4, and The Bambs can compete in D5 as well. Hopefully everyone makes the jump.

 

4.      Even though they completely blew it in the D1 title game, Tight Ends In Motion has a lot of decisions to make now. They were just a better team with Bro at QB. Will they have enough room for all of their girls when they come back next season? And what about Dave Baker? With Sticky moving up to D1, he’ll have to choose which team to play for. That’s one hell of a choice. Good luck with that.

 

 

5.      One of the more exciting things for this season were the new faces that came aboard. There were more than a few folks you’d  classify as “Game On” people (they would too though, so it’s fine) that played, reffed, and hung out all year. According to many sources, a lot of them “drank the TSL Kool-Aid” and they’re looking forward to spending their Saturdays at the Rose Garden as part of the TSL family. Hopefully I can come in from Iowa next season and meet some of you. I heard there could be a gender team coming too! Let’s go!

 

6.      If COVID took one thing away from us this season, it was that we didn’t get to properly mourn Rameer as a family. The constant distraction to even get the league up and running meant that we didn’t, and couldn’t, get to have the proper celebration of his life. That isn’t to say his massive presence wasn’t missed this season, of course it was. Assuming life can be much more normal by the Spring, expect a much bigger Rameer day. 

 

 

7.      The TSL Indoor Jamboree begins January 9^th. Talk to Topper, I’m not sure if there are any more spots left. Teams are still forming, so suck up to the captains ASAP. It’ll be the place to be this winter, easily. No word yet if the TSL tournament is coming to the Bills Fieldhouse just yet. Clearly they still have lots of COVID regulations in place, and the idea of bunch of unknown (to them) outsiders coming in and potentially infecting the team somehow doesn’t sit well with them of course. But soon. Perhaps we have a Breakfast Club-like Draft for a tournament? 8 teams, 8 female captains? I think that could be a LOT of fun.

 

8.      Remember to get your awards nominations in! Even if we don’t have a banquet, the TSL will still be giving out our awards. No word yet on how we’ll do that, but I’m sure it’ll work out great. You can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Awards Head Emily Curry at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Get those emails in!

 

9.      Thank you, again, to all of you that emailed me throughout the season giving me your hot takes on all things TSL. Thanks to The Sentinel for their great article, and to the entire TSL QB Power Rankings Committee for all of their cool info, graphics, and charts. Thanks to Joe K for that one podcast this season, perhaps we’ll get to two next year? And thank you to everyone that helped out in some way, shape, or form this season. This league doesn’t exist without all of you.

 

 

10.   That brings us to the official close of the #TSL2020 season. It was a bit crazy for sure, but we persevered. We reconnected with old friends, we made new friends, and we had as much fun as things would allow. I got to write a weekly article all the way from my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and that only happened because of your efforts, because of people stepping up when I asked for help. There was a global pandemic, and it still couldn’t stop this league from chugging along, despite the best efforts of many. Please, take care during the holidays, and stay safe. I don’t know if I’ll write an article for the indoor league or not, it’ll depend on who tells me what. If not, I’ll look forward to hearing from you all in the Spring. You’re the best league on the planet. Don’t forget that.

 

 

-GF

Playoff Week Picks, Predictions, and Thoughts

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 16 October 2020 22:27

Published: Friday, 16 October 2020 22:27

Written by Super User

Hits: 2721

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on this Saturday, the 17th day in the month of October in the Year of Our Lord 2020, after nearly a full year off, the race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality reaches it’s peak. 

 

That’s right, it’s time for the PLAYOFFS! 

 

Everything you’ve accomplished on the fields this season no longer matters. All that matters is winning your next few games and capturing that championship. When Saturday begins, all 44 of our glorious TSL franchises will have a shot to be called “Champions”. They will have a chance to etch their names into history, to become part of TSL lore. On this weekend, and during Championship Weekend on the 24th, the players who step up and make big plays will be remembered forever. But who will be the one making that play? Who will be the one people will sit and talk about in four seasons, after a few drinks, saying “Do you remember when “Player X” did THAT?”?

 

Is it you? If you’re unsure about that answer, ask yourself this: Why not me? Why aren’t YOU the one that’s going to make that big play for your team? Everything you’ve done for the last few months lead you to this point. Every single one of you that steps foot on the fields has a chance to make an amazing play (or plays!) that can lead your team, your friends, your family to victory. Regardless of what you may think of yourself as a player, everyone has that chance for immortality. There is no debate about that. 

 

It’s up to you to go out and make it happen. 

 

D1:

 

The Recap:  D1, like most things in the world nowadays, didn’t go exactly to plan. Sure, Public Enemy did what they do and went 7-1 en route to a first round bye in the playoffs. Not a surprise there. But if I had told you that Tight Ends In Motion would lose their starting QB to injury, not to mention losing Emily Curry and Maggie LaMantia as well, would you think that they’d be having a ‘good’ season? The answer is no, but the truth is this team has overcome some crazy downs and they’re on the ups. They snatched 2nd place under new QB Bro Kleckler (he’s the nice one that doesn’t kick plants) and a late season trade with Sticky Bandits to acquire Robin Makula, who’s been a breakout star this season. When things seemed to be at their worst, TEIM rattled off 4 straight wins and took second place. Marketing Mayors finished in the 3rd spot, which is just about right when you consider they may not have their whole team play a game together, except for a couple of games midseason. Gryffindor had a solid season, but nothing truly spectacular came from them. It should be noted again that this was the first season that they’ve gotten wins in the D1 regular season against actual D1 teams, which mean that Joey Batts and Co are still trending upwards. Joey’s been quiet for most of the season, so perhaps he’ll be back in all of his glory for the playoffs? Eyes Downtown finished a disappointed 5th, but most of that was due to the COVID outbreak that ran through the team. It’s hard to win at the D1 level when most of your team isn’t there, even with Bobby texting advice from his car in the parking lot. Finally, Why So Serious? finished 2-6, and they’re on the upswing ever since making the move to switch Pete from QB to WR. As a result, Pete is making more catches instead of throwing passes that would get dropped more than WSS would’ve liked. The WSS ladies have also been getting noticed lately, and Why So Serious? finds themselves in prime “upset” territory. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Pubic Enemy (3-1)

Tight Ends In Motion (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Marketing Mayors (5-1)

Gryffindor (10-1)

Why So Serious? (50-1)

 

The Games:

 

#3 Marketing Mayors (4-4) vs #6 Why So Serious? (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): MM – 30.29 (4th), WSS – 27.38 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MM – 28.00 (3rd), WSS – 36.13 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: MM 21st, WSS 40th

TSLQBPRC Line: Marketing Mayors (-7)

Past Game(s): Marketing Mayors 33, Why So Serious? 19

 

While Why So Serious should be incredibly proud of the strides they’ve been making recently, I don’t think its enough yet to take down the Mayors in the playoffs. The Marketing Mayors have been here many times: slightly underrated, and people sleep on them. Then all of a sudden they show up and “come out of nowhere” to win the title. This season feels like one of those years. MARKETING MAYORS BY 10

 

#4 Gryffindor (3-4) vs #5 Eyes Downtown (3-4)

Points For (Division Rank): Gryff – 32.71 (3rd), ED – 28.43 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Gryff – 34.86 (5th), ED – 33.00 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Gryff 27th, ED 28th

TSLQBPRC Line: Eyes Downtown (-4)

Past Game(s): None

 

The best season in Gryffindor’s D1 history is also the worst in Eyes Downtown’s. Eyes Downtown is much better than this, and they should be challenging for the title when the smoke clears. Gryffindor, even if they lose this matchup, should be hopeful for next season as they continue to improve in our highest division. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

 

The Prediction:  I think when the smoke clears, we’ll see Public Enemy stand tall, defeating the Marketing Mayors in the final. 

D2:

 

The Recap: D2 is a very closely contested division where anyone can beat anyone. Just about any team can win the championship here, as we see every playoffs. As the season progressed, however, the Dilf’s showed why they should’ve been in D1 this season, cruising to a 7-2 record as they look to defend their title. Travis has done a great job of not only keeping his roster intact, but for smartly adding Casey Lawler, who returned to the TSL this season after some time off. When adding her to Val Bernal and Katie Keller, the Dilf’s boast one of the best female groups in the league. Add into the fact that Dubey has shown up for most of the season, and we’ve got ourselves one heck of a team. Not to be outdone, the Jabronies find themselves living up to the hype, scoring over 300 points this season. Joe Miano has looked more than fantastic at times, throwing the ball all over the place for Eric Klecker and Ben Stack to go get it. This team has come a long way from D6, that’s for sure. The Sticky Bandits slot in in 3rd place, and they’re the highest scoring team in the division. Their 5-4 record can be deceiving, they’re a very good team that has come up short in a few close ones. Jeff Krol has had this team playing together for what seems like forever, and that continuity is Sticky’s greatest strength. Dave Baker has had an excellent season, as has Brian Stevens. Mike Thomas has to be in the driver’s seat for D2 QBOTY as well. Slytherin That End Zone started off hot, but cooled off as the season progressed. A lot of that had to do with Taylor Pagano missing a few games in the middle of the season, as she’s the one thing SITE has needed for some time now: a top flight girl. Historically, its hard to get those to play with Newman on the team, so we’re not blaming Gary for that one. Speaking of Newman, when his head is on straight, he can be one of the best QBs in the league. Just ask him. SITE still boasts some excellent players (looking at you Dawson) and they’ll have a say in the championship for sure. Bullet Club comes in at their familiar 5th place position, after another season of a constant QB carousel. Add in some injuries to Glenn Bird and Zach Newberry, and it hasn’t been best of times. The offense is too inconsistent at times, so they have to rely on defense to win some games. Morning Wood finished 6th this season, not too bad for a team that took some time off before jumping right back into D2. Morning Wood actually boasts some “better than you think” female talent in Rachel Parker and Nicole Becker, and other than Mo Saleh, they have some elite speed at WR. Add into the fact that they’re learning to gel with their new QB, and they could very well be a tough out this year. I can’t fault Peachy Platoon for not living up to expectations. It’s very hard to maintain their level of play when they lose QB Dean Thompson for most of the season. He’s simply irreplaceable for what he brings to the table. Peachy still has loads of talent, starting with WR threat Leseaon Washington. Add into the mix a fantastic female crew headlined by Joy Thompson and Moriah Williamson and really, anything is possible. Finally, last year’s #1 overall seed, HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO comes limping in at 1-7. It wasn’t the best of times for Team Topper, but that’s to be expected when you know his head was all over the place trying to figure out how to make this league happen for all of us. Add in a couple of unexpected losses to the roster and its no wonder that they had a down year. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

 

Dilfs (2-1)

Sticky Bandits (4-1)

Jabronies (5-1)

Slytherin that Endzone (7-1)

Bullet Club (7-1)

Peachy Platoon (8-1)

Morning Wood (12-1)

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (40-1)

 

The Games: 

 

#1 Dilfs (7-2) vs #8 HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO (1-7)

Points For (Division Rank): Dilfs – 33.63 (3rd), HB – 29.25 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Dilfs – 26.00 (1st), HB – 33.13 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: Dilfs – 5th, HB – 43rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Dilfs (-14)

Past Game(s): Dilfs 49, Hofbrauhaus Buffalo 34

 

It’s not Topper’s fault. Like I’ve said, his roster took a few hits this offseason, and that’s hard to recover from. The Dilfs have been chugging along all season, and while the championship in D2 is never guaranteed, they’re not losing their chance at it here. The Dilfs will move on. DILFS BY 13

 

#2 Jabronies (6-3) vs #7 Peachy Platoon (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): Jabronies – 34.33 (2nd), PP 27.33 (6th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Jabronies – 27.56 (2nd), PP 37.56 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Jabronies 10th, PP 35th

TSLQBPRC Line: Jabronies (-18)

Past Game(s): Jabronies 52, Peachy Platoon 23

 

On paper, this seems like an incredible mismatch, and maybe it will be. We’ve said it all year: it matters if Dean is showing up or not. You’d love to think he wouldn’t be missing the playoffs, but life can always have other plans. The numbers for PP are lower than ever, which isn’t their fault. If they have their entire team, they’re MUCH better than the record shows. Don’t forget, they *did* lose Mo and Dave Wilbern this offseason, which is a pretty big hit to any team. But, even with Dean, I can’t imagine that he’d fix the worst defense in the division by that much. The Jabronies have proven they can score, and score a lot. Even if PP is at full strength, they’re still going to put points up. They have the defense to make some plays and stop Peachy in their tracks. JABRONIES BY 10, MORE IF NO DEAN

 

#3 Sticky Bandits (5-4) vs #6 Morning Wood (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): SB – 34.44 (1st), MW 25.33 (8th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SB – 33.22 (7th), MW – 29.33 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: SB – 17th, MW – 32nd

TSLQBPRC Line: Sticky Bandits (-2)

Past Game(s): Sticky Bandits 37, Morning Wood 31

 

For as impressive as Sticky’s D2 leading offense has been all season, it’s distracted people from realizing that their defense just isn’t up to speed. At least not to their own standards. This is the kind of game that can give Sticky trouble. At their best, Morning Wood has multiple players that can stretch the field. This is the perfect matchup for them, of the top teams in D2. They’re one turnover away from taking it, provided their entire team shows up. They have the ability to keep pace with the Bandits, as their regular season matchup showed. This is going to be a great game, that’s for sure. UPSET ALERT: MORNING WOOD BY 3

 

#4 Slytherin That End Zone (5-4) vs #5 Bullet Club (4-4)

Points For (Division Rank): SITE – 31.11 (4th), BC – 25.75 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): SITE – 28.89 (3rd), BC – 32.25 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: SITE – 18th, BC – 22nd

TSLQBPRC Line: SITE (-5)

Past Game(s): Slytherin That End Zone 31, Bullet Club 28

 

These two teams have had a bit of rivalry the last few seasons, as both have had big come from behind victories after going down early. These two met in last year’s playoffs, where Bullet Club was victorious in what I think was also the 4-5 matchup. There’s a lot of differences from that game to this one. First off, SITE got better with the addition of Taylor. Meanwhile, Bullet Club has had a QB Carousel, and some key injuries. Right now, I think Bullet Club is going to struggle to score against the SITE Defense. This will come down to which QB blinks first, however. Will it be Newman? Will it be Ricky? I mean, Will it be Easton? It’s a possibility isn’t it? SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE BY 9

 

The Prediction: I hate going chalk, especially in a division that just feels so crazy. Everything about this feels like the Dilfs are going to repeat as champions. I could see a world where SITE defeats the Jabronies in the finals. I could see Sticky taking the title. What if Peachy just gets hot for the next two weeks? In the end though, I see the most logical conclusion: The Dilfs repeat as champs, beating Sticky in the finals. 

 

D3:

 

The Recap: All this was is Quinn this season for D3. AWDIQ came out and dominated just about everyone they played, with the weird exception of losing to Vaspian, but that wasn’t with Vince at QB. If the rumors are true, this is Quinn’s last shot at that elusive D3 title. They’ve been the favorite for multiple seasons, but the pressure always gets to them in the playoffs and they blow it. Hopefully, a bye week this week can help them stay prepared and focused. Scared Hitless was a new team, and they instantly showed they belonged in D3. Made up mostly of End Game with a dash of AWDIQ, Hitless really came together near the end of the season, and they’re playing their best football right now. Jonny Football is out here leading the charge, and after some early struggles, QB Dylan has started to figure things out. Mix in the three headed female monster of Cat, Jaimie, and Carly and this formidable team is a very tough out. Frodo Swaggins kind of zombie walked through the season. They didn’t play every week, and just casually ended up with a 5-2 record. That’s not to say they aren’t very good, but maybe its because they didn’t care much. Garrett Beesing is a husk of what he once was, at least according to the email I got from Scotty Dro, who declared himself a free agent after this season and is looking for a D1 team. Scotty says a lot of things though. Besides Garrett and Scotty, Nick Buczek (that has to be spelled wrong) is the best of the rest, and can make a difference if given the chance. Frodo boasts some talented females in Sarah and Tammy, so they’ll always be in any game. Grey Hair – Don’t Care finished 4th, as QB Dave’s newest passion project had an up and down season. After a hot start to the season, they faded a little down the stretch. They do have some fresh blood on the roster, but they’re still learning the game and how to play together. Look for good things in the future. The Untouchaballs showed up to D3 and fit right in immediately. They’re either a team from before that I don’t know about, or they’re just good at football. Either way, I still don’t know anything about them, like the rest of the TSL. En Fuego made the jump up to D3 after losing in the first round of the D5 playoffs to Cobblestone last season. It may have been ill advised, but they gutted out a 3-5 record and showed they belonged a bit more than anyone (myself included) realized. En Fuego’s biggest issue tends to be their antics on and off the fields that aren’t specifically football playing related, but when they have cooler heads, they can be good. Blasé is still learning the QB position but has made some progress in that area. Dorene is just wonderful as well. She deserves more shoutouts. Finally, the awesome people from Vaspian had a less than awesome season for a bit there, losing too many games out of the gate. They did pick up a big win against Quinn though, which means something, right? They actually play really good defense, and their woes tend to be more on the offensive side of things this year. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

All We Do Is Quinn (3-1)

Scared Hitless (4-1)

Frodo Swaggins (4-1)

Grey Hair (8-1)

The Untouchaballs (10-1)

En Fuego (35-1)

Vaspian (50-1)

 

The Games:

 

#6 En Fuego (3-5) vs #7 Vaspian (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): EF – 25.33 (6th), Vaspian – 20.33 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): EF – 31.33 (7th), Vaspian – 26.00 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: En Fuego 30th, Vaspian 39th

TSLQBPRC Line: Vaspian (-2)

Past Game(s): En Fuego 7, Vaspian 0

 

The TSL’s Play-in game will kick off the day at 9am, and this is an interesting matchup. The TSLQBPRC line is right in line with my own thinking: I think Vaspian is the better team here. I don’t expect a miracle run from either of these teams (sorry guys), but when it comes down to it, I think Vaspian’s defense will stifle En Fuego more than they expected, and they’ll pull off the upset here: VASPIAN BY 3

 

#3 Frodo Swaggins (5-2) vs #6/#7 Play-In Winner

Points For (Division Rank): Frodo – 33.71 (2nd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Frodo – 26.43 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: Frodo – 13th

TSLQBPRC Line: Frodo (-10 vs Vaspian), Frodo (-12 vs En Fuego)

Past Game(s): Frodo Swaggins 38, En Fuego 26, Frodo did not play Vaspian this season

 

Regardless of who Frodo gets, they should undoubtedly be the favorite. Honestly, you could put together an En Fuego/Vaspian All-Star team and Frodo would still be favored. Vaspian might be able to keep the scoring down a little, but neither team has the talent to stick with the stars on Frodo. Add into it the significant upgrade in talent at QB, and all signs just point to Frodo having a nice tuneup before Championship Week. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17, REGARDLESS

 

#4 Grey Hair – Don’t Care (4-4) vs #5 The Untouchaballs (3-5)

Points For (Division Rank): Grey – 25.57 (5th), The Untouchaballs – 27.13 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank):  Grey – 28.43 (6th), The Untouchaballs – 27.00 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank:  Grey Hair 20th, The Untouchaballs 29th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Untouchaballs (-3)

Past Game(s): Grey Hair 41, The Untouchaballs 30

 

The numbers support exactly what I feel here: this is going to be an incredibly close game. This game feels like a story of two teams headed in opposite directions though. The Untouchaballs are trending up, and Grey Hair might be slipping a little bit. Although, Grey may have more playoff experience, and that matters a little bit. I could see this being the game of the day, but I can’t shake the result my brain won’t go away from. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 3

 

The Prediction:  After all of the smoke clears from these battles, we’re going to see All We Do Is Quinn completely regret not having enough room for Cat’s boyfriend as Scared Hitless beats them in the championship. 

 

D4: 

 

The Recap: Buffalo Solar Solutions have come out and took control of D4 this year. They went undefeated in the division, only losing two D3/D4 crossover games (and getting AWDIQ twice, woof) in the season. QB Andy Clark loves to toss the long ball, but the real story was BSS’ defense throughout the season. They’re not just 1st in D4, they’re first by a lot. They allow, on average, 5.75 less per game than the next team. Very impressive stuff here, and standout defender Brett Cole is a huge reason why. The Angels finished in 2nd, but they’re not the Angels we’re used to. Bobby was in for Matty, although the team played better with Travis throwing during the season. The Angels also lost a few of their better girls to injury along the way, which made for an average season for their standards. Uncle Rico’s come in in 3rd place, but these guys can play too. Jon Senn’s crew scored points by the bunches, and QB Timmy Z is really coming into his own. Add in playmakers like Chris Nelson, Deak, and of course Jackee Thompson and this team is the last one you want to get into a shootout with. Defending D5 champs, Over Compensators, are right where they want to be. In 4th place, with nobody believing in them. They like playing a bit under the radar. QB Larry isn’t making the headlines he did last session, but The OC has still been solid all around. Family Feud and some dudes are a new team, and I still know nothing about their roster as well. Whispers have told me that they understand offense very well, but their defense is just abysmal, and it takes the offense scoring on every drive for them to be in games. In a shocker, the Cunning Stunts find themselves at 2-6 this year, but a lot of that had to do with roster issues. It’s hard to win games when you don’t constantly get players like Kelly Liddle, Emily Schilling, and Amanda Werth to show up. A down year for the Stunts, but it’s a down year for everyone. Finally, the TSL’s own Tennessee Titans, the Freeballers, bring up the rear at 1-6. 40 year plan guy’s foray into D4 did not go anywhere near as planned. QB Boy George looks lost half the time, and when he isn’t, his receivers are. This is what happens when you put together a team of the 3rd best guy on a bunch of D4 – D6 teams and expect the best. Jokes aside, there’s a lot of room for improvement here. Their defense is actually pretty good, and their girls are as well. It’s just going to take some time to gel as a team. They DID get their first win though, so kudos to them! 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Buffalo Solar Solutions (2-1)

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (4-1)

The Angels (5-1)

Cunning Stunts (8-1)

Over Compensators (9-1)

Family Feud (15-1)

Freeballers (1,000,000 – 1)

 

The Games:

 

#6 Cunning Stunts (2-6) vs #7 Freeballers (1-5)

Points For (Division Rank): CS – 39.88 (4th), FB – 23.00 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): CS – 46.00 (6th), FB – 37.17 (3rd)

Overall TSL Rank: Cunning Stunts 37th, Freeballers 42nd

TSLQBPRC Line: Cunning Stunts (-3)

Past Game(s): Cunning Stunts 37, Freeballers 21

 

The Freeballers just don’t score enough to keep pace with most teams, especially a gender team. I say that knowing that they just beat The Angels too. The Stunts allow some points for sure, but nobody can really blame the Freeballers for not being quite in sync, given all they’ve dealt with this session. CUNNING STUNTS BY 6

 

#3 Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (5-3) vs #6/#7 Play-in Winner

Points For (Division Rank): URTT – 42.00 (1st)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): 38.50 (4th)

Overall TSL Rank: URTT – 16th

TSLQBPRC Line: Uncle Rico’s (-10 vs the Stunts, -13 vs Freeballers)

Past Game(s): Uncle Rico’s 53, Cunning Stunts 44. Uncle Rico’s did not play Freeballers this season.

 

There’s not much I can say here. If the Stunts win, they can’t stop Uncle Rico’s from scoring a bunch, and if the Freeballers win, they can’t score enough to keep up with Uncle Rico’s. Much like D3, this is just a tune up for URTT. UNCLE RICO’S BY 8 VS STUNTS, UNCLE RICOS BY 17 VS FREEBALLERS

#4 Over Compensators (3-5) vs #5 Family Feud (2-5)

Points For (Division Rank): OC – 34.63 (6th), FF – 40.00 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): OC – 40.75 (5th), FF – 48.71 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: OC 31st, Family Feud 36th

TSLQBPRC Line: Over Compensators (-2)

Past Game(s): First meeting. 

 

What a time to have your first game, eh? The OC and FF meet up in a nice 4/5 matchup here. To me, the OC’s offense should be a bit better. I know they had some attendance issues in the past, and I think that gives the feeling this is closer than it should be. They’re going to score a lot this game, and FF can’t stop it. But I’m not sure FF can score every time. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 9

 

The Prediction: Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers will end up squeaking by Buffalo Solar Solutions in a high scoring championship game. 

 

D5: 

 

The Recap: Mountain Dew Me just beat the hell out of everyone. Somehow, the Topper Standings have calculated that Practice Squad is the #1 seed based on an MDM forfeit to ruin a perfect season. Real weak stuff there, McGregors. Anyway, these two teams are just a class above the rest and both should graduate to D4 next season regardless of playoff outcome. Practice Squad fixed their QB issues when they signed B off the TSL Sublist. He’s given their offense a bit of life that they were missing, and now they’re looking to get that D5 title they’ve been trying for for so long. Cobblestone went 6-0-1 against everyone other than MDM and PS. That’s AWESOME. Darryl Carr QB Superstar has once again shown that he is immortal and that nobody should ever doubt him. I don’t know what tricks he’s got in his cargo pants for the playoffs, but I know that I’ll be rooting for him. The D6 champions from last season, Zack Attack, find themselves in 4th place for their first year in D5. Not bad at all. They have the ability to give the Top 2 a good game, especially if they limit their mistakes along the way. PTERATACOS really fixed whatever issues they had last session, and the Buscaglias brought a much nicer demeanor to the fields this season. That zen like focus has them smack in the middle of things. The Interdimensional Lightning Falcons need a shorter name. Besides that, this TSL new team definitely took their lumps along the way, but they really figured things out as the season went on. Lead by Andrew Kicak and D5 Male MVP candidate Alex Baker, ILF is on the upswing. TOX comes in next, as Topper’s adventures in D5 were renewed this season. This team is chock full of TSL royalty, with some new faces sprinkled in. They may not have beaten many on the field, but they’re always winning at the bar. Finally, Intentional Pounding comes in 8th place, as the stripped down version of 3rd and Schlong couldn’t get it going. Everyone blames 40 year plan guy for this, even if a lot of it is Katie Keller’s fault for turning her back on her family. That tells you all you need to know about here. Either way, Scott Jr, Mr. Keller, Nicole, and the rest of the team are some of the TSL’s best people, so if you need a team next session, they might need you. If you have talent. Even if you don’t. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship:

Mountain Dew Me (1-2)

Practice Squad (2-1) 

Cobblestone (10-1)

Zack Attack (12-1)

ILF (17-1)

PTERATACOS (25-1)

TOX (50-1)

Intentional Pounding (100-1)

 

The Games:

 

#1 Practice Squad (7-1) vs #8 Intentional Pounding (1-8)

Points For (Division Rank): PS – 35.50 (2nd), IP – 15.78 (8th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): PS – 13.63 (2nd), IP – 37.78 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Practice Squad 1st, Intentional Pounding 44th

TSLQBPRC Line: Practice Squad (-22)

Past Game(s): Practice Squad 26, Intentional Pounding 6

 

Technically, this is the highest ranking TSL team against the worst ranking TSL team, based on the invisible Topper math rankings. It’s not going to go well for Team Keller. But, they have a chance to pull off the biggest upset of all time, potentially. So there’s that. Practice Squad got an easier game than they should’ve this week. I don’t know if they’ll cover the spread. Mountain Dew Me would. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 20

 

#2 Mountain Dew Me (7-1) vs #7 TOX (2-7)

Points For (Division Rank): MDM – 38.25 (1st), TOX – 20.78 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): MDM – 6.25 (1st), TOX – 34.11 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: Mountain Dew Me 2nd, TOX 41st

TSLQBPRC Line: Mountain Dew Me (-28)

Past Game(s): Mountain Dew Me 36, TOX 6

 

There isn’t much to say here. MDM is a machine, and TOX, despite being lovable and the People’s Champions, just can’t keep up with them. This might be a blood bath. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 32

 

#3 Cobblestone (6-2-1) vs #6 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): Cobblestone – 22.56 (6th), ILF – 22.89 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): Cobblestone – 20.78 (3rd), ILF – 32.67 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: Cobblestone 6th, ILF 34th

TSLQBPRC Line: Cobblestone (-4)

Past Game(s): Cobblestone 35, ILF 31 and Cobblestone 26, ILF 17

 

These teams have played two close games so far this year. Even with ILF on the upswing, Cobblestone has been hot all year. Their defense has been amazing so far, and that’s largely why they’re 6-2-1. I just can’t quite imagine a way that ILF wins this one, unless Darryl shows up late to the game or something. But he’d never do that, right? RIGHT? COBBLESTONE BY 8

 

#4 Zack Attack (4-5) vs #5 PTERATACOS (3-5-1)

Points For (Division Rank): ZA – 25.00 (4th), Pteratacos – 26.22 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): ZA – 22.22 (4th), Pteratacos – 28.44 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: Zack Attack 23rd, Pteratacos 26th

TSLQBPRC Line: Zack Attack (-2)

Past Game(s): Zack Attack 37, Pteratacos 25 and Zack Attack 37, Pteratacos 20

 

Zack Attack just has the speed to run by the Pteratacos. It’s a good matchup for the Attack, as they showed in both of their wins. It also seems like they’ll score 37 points this week too. The numbers suggest this one should be closer, but I just can’t see it. ZACK ATTACK BY 14

 

The Prediction: Mountain Dew Me blows by Practice Squad. Chalk, I know, but I don’t care. This division is pretty obvious. 

 

D6:

 

The Recap: Arguably the TSL’s most even division, D6 showed us flashes of greatness AND lowlights from every single team in it. There is no such thing as a “surprise” winner here, and that’s great. Graves Bros took the top spot from the regular season, going 7-1 and looking impressive most times. The unique scenario of having that fake Gronk guy rush the QB makes the opposition uncomfortable a bit. They also sport better than you realize females. The Tater Tots ended up in 2nd place, as they’ve truly started to figure things out. They got a real QB this year (or at least, he turned into one, I don’t know if it’s the same one) and the addition of Drunk Meg really gives them a solid team. Dave knows what he’s doing in terms of team building for sure. The Bambs looked like they’d run away with the division in the beginning of the season before sliding back a bit, which brings up some worries for the playoffs. After a very rough start, TMA fought their way to 4-4-1 and they’re looking more like the team we thought they’d be this year. Even after losing Drunk Meg and Steph, the TMA girls of Val Testa, Diana Bernal, and Lauren stepped up a lot. The biggest problems remain on the offensive side of that ball, perhaps under center. Some timely drops and some missed reads have this team lower than they should be in the standings. Blitzkrieg had a heck of a coming out party this season, going 3-4-1, but looking really good at times. Light Red Hoodie guy is a monster, and QB Alex really made some strides. The biggest thing for them though is Allie, who’s been impressing people all across the TSL and she may be a shoe in to be nominated for a few awards this offseason. PC Plumbing looks VERY good, and then VERY bad and keeps going up and down. Right now, they’re hot. Lenny’s Ladies had a decent start to their existence, going 3-6 as they figured out what to do on defense. Emerging female stars like Robin, Marla, Laura, and others really helped them out as the season went on. The BiPolar Express seemed poised to win the division after many seasons of improvement, but had quite a rough go at it this season for various reasons. If the entire team shows, however, they’ll be a tough out. 

 

Odds To Win The #TSL2020 Championship

Graves Bros (4-1)

The Bambs (5-1)

PC Plumbing (7-1)

Tater Tots (8-1)

TMA (8-1)

Blitzkrieg (10-1)

The BiPolar Express (15-1)

Lenny’s Ladies (17-1)

 

The Games:

 

#1 Graves Bros (7-1) vs #8 The BiPolar Express (2-6)

Points For (Division Rank): GB – 33.38 (2nd), BPX – 27.50 (5th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): GB – 28.38 (4th), BPX – 34.75 (8th)

Overall TSL Rank: Graves Bros 4th, The BiPolar Express 38th

TSLQBPRC Line: Graves Bros (-6)

Past Game(s): Graves Bros 36, The BiPolar Express 32 and Graves Bros 36, The BiPolar Express 26

 

These two teams play each other pretty closely most of the time. A big reason BPX is so low in the standings is due to the consistent roster issues that tend to plague gender teams. With the way the schedule works out for playoffs, that won’t be an issue this time around. This has Game of the Day potential. Here comes the fun. THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS BY 6

 

#2 Tater Tots (5-3-1) vs #7 Lenny’s Ladies (3-6)

Points For (Division Rank): TT – 25.78 (6th), LL – 24.00 (7th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TT – 22.56 (2nd), LL – 32.78 (7th)

Overall TSL Rank: Tater Tots 11th, Lenny’s Ladies 33rd

TSLQBPRC Line: Tater Tots (-5)

Past Game(s): Tater Tots 20, Lenny’s Ladies 9 and Tater Tots 34, Lenny’s Ladies 0

 

The Tots just shutout the Ladies last week, but the girls had a lot of their roster missing. As a result I’d expect something more similar to the first matchup. The Ladies have a chance to win if they can get a stop or two, but when they do it’ll be on QB Easton to not give it right back. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

#3 The Bambs (5-3) vs #6 PC Plumbing (3-5-1)

Points For (Division Rank): The Bambs – 34.00 (1st), PCP – 30.89 (3rd)

Points Allowed (Division Rank):  The Bambs – 28.38 (3rd), PCP – 31.78 (6th)

Overall TSL Rank: The Bambs 15th, PC Plumbing 25th

TSLQBPRC Line: The Bambs (-3)

Past Game(s): PC Plumbing 36, The Bambs 6 and The Bambs 44, PC Plumbing 32

 

We’ve got a heck of game here too. The teams split their season series, so who’s going to take this one? Well, I like to take the hot hand, and PC has been on of the hotter teams in the TSL the last month, where as The Bambs haven’t been as good. UPSET ALERT: PC PLUMBING BY 4

 

#4 TMA (4-4-1) vs #5 Blitzkrieg (3-4-1)

Points For (Division Rank): TMA – 23.00 (8th), Blitzkrieg – 30.38 (4th)

Points Allowed (Division Rank): TMA – 20.00 (1st), Blitzkrieg – 29.88 (5th)

Overall TSL Rank: TMA 19th, Blitzkrieg 24th

TSLQBPRC Line: TMA (-1)

Past Game(s): TMA 33, Blitzkrieg 20 and TMA 28, Blitzkrieg 16

 

They say defense wins championships, and that’s yet to be true for TMA. Once again they boast a fantastic defense, but their offense was dead last in division which is nuts. Blitzkrieg finds themselves in the middle of both categories. But, the results don’t lie: TMA plays very well against BK, as proven by two double digit wins this season. Granted, one was apparently with JOHNNY DIO last week, but that shouldn’t matter. As long as TMA can find the endzone, they should win. If this game is low scoring though, BK can take it. TMA BY 3

 

The Prediction: This is going to be crazy, but look for PC Plumbing to take the championship over Tater Tots in the finals. 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDA Y: 

 

1. Will roster checks be available for illegal players? Yes, yes they will. All captains should have received an email that the Orange Shirt Brigade will be walking around checking rosters should they be asked. Don’t try to pull a fast one. You know who you are. 

 

2. Who is the #1 seed most likely to be upset? Well, I think D6 is so crazy that Graves Bros better not get too comfortable. Ever. 

 

3. Who’s got the best chance at an unlikely run to the finals? Slytherin That End Zone might be the 4 seed, but they have a great shot to win the championship. However, based on seeding alone, the answer is Peachy Platoon. They can definitely win this thing with Dean, if he shows up.

4. Are the rumors true about the TSL winter league? Well, they aren’t rumors anymore. Topper announced that we’re having an 8-10 team league starting in January. Sign up today, as we already have 4 teams signed up! 

 

5. Who would be the sentimental favorites in each division? D1 – Tight Ends in Motion, D2 – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, D3 – All We Do Is Quinn, D4 – Buffalo Solar Solutions, D5 – Cobblestone, D6 – TMA. If all of those teams somehow won their championships next weekend, what a party it’ll be. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Be respectful of the referees. I know things get heated because it’s playoffs, but that doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk about it. Shout out to Jordan Lawson, who took the time to email me about how much fun he’s had in the league and that you’ve all accepted him as one of your own. Great work out there. 

 

2. I really think we’re going to see a couple of upsets this weekend. I don’t feel bad saying BiPolar will beat Graves Bros, and I think we could see something fun like ILF beating Cobblestone. 

3. This just in: If you haven’t seen yet, ALL D1 games are being pushed to 10/24. IF YOU PLAY IN D1, YOU DO NOT HAVE A GAME THIS WEEK. 

 

4. Special shout out to the Orange Shirt Brigade. They’ve spent their time checking the gates all year. Coach Jay was awesome with running the refs. Travis deserves a lot of credit for his behind the scenes work as well, especially with the sublist. 

5. Can someone please get B’s Brother to the fields? COME ON. 

6. The weather doesn’t look too lovely this weekend. Have fun with that. 

 

7. I really hate picking a lot of #1 seeds to win the championship, but its hard to bet against Public Enemy, Dilfs, AWDIQ, Buffalo Solar, and Mountain Dew Me this year. 

8. Alternate Universe Champions if NO #1 seeds win? Marketing Mayors, Sticky Bandits, Frodo Swaggins, Uncle Rico’s, Practice Squad, TMA

 

9. Shoutout to Sticky Bandits and Dilfs for making a bet on their game recently. It’s fantastic to see teams still doing that. And SHAME ON YOU SENTINEL. Kevin Zack, the 49 year old wonder man who probably isn’t human is *quite* miffed with you disrespecting him. For someone who’s whole bit is “watching” things, maybe you should see a little bit better. (I’m here for you Kevin.)

10. THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! WE DID IT! Seriously, go out and have a ton of fun. Don’t take this Saturday for granted. Have fun and take care of each other. YOU are the reason this is the best football league in the galaxy. Good luck!

What’s YOUR ranking that I’ll be watching from the cut? 

 

-GF