WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 08 September 2022 14:21

Published: Thursday, 08 September 2022 14:21

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 4904

• September 15: Best Female Players in the League
• September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
• September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
• October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

Week 1 Power Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 25 August 2022 17:10

Published: Thursday, 25 August 2022 17:10

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 5073

Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

“There are 50 teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 50 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 30, so we do try to be inclusive.

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to introduce yourself, and please, be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Bobby McConnell just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.

"What about Breakfast Club QBs?"

Breakfast Club is for fun, not crushing your opponents.  We don't put a lot of stock in the stats from Breakfast Club, and typically don't include it in our Rankings.

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best male receivers, best female receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.  Unlike previous years where we just sort of threw out random rankings throughout the season, we're going to TRY to keep a little more structure this session.  See a list of dates below for what we plan to rank each week (besides, of course, quarterbacks).

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty-ish teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 

• None of our Spring 2022 Division Champions will repeat and win again this Fall.  Not the five that won and bravely moved up a division, and not Legends in D1.
• No "new" teams will finish with a winning record.  We're looking at you, No Punt Intended, Replacements, Get Shwifty, Let's Get Reccked, Superior Moser Squad and Punt Cakes.  
• Tight Ends in Motion rebounds from last season's terrible record to finish as one of the top three seeds in D1.
• No team has finished undefeated in at LEAST six seasons... and we predict the trend holds up for a seventh.  Expect every team to lose at least one game this session.
• Can't Touch This, currently 0-2 as we write this, will make it to the D3 Championship game (we make no predictions whether they'll win or lose it).
• TOX and Vaspian will be the only TSL teams not to make the playoffs this session.

But what do we know?  We went 3 out of 6 on last year's predictions:

• There are no undefeated teams in any divisions, but at least one team will go winless [We were spot on!  Zero undefeated teams, while both Two Tuddies (who had a tie) and Bullet Club (who did not have a tie) went winless]
• Spinelli's Plumbing wins a championship for the second season in a row [Nope.  They went 4-5 and were knocked out in the first round by the eventual champions Practice Squad]
• Passed Our Prime will be the highest scoring team in the TSL this season across all divisions[Nope.  They finished as the 21st highest scoring team in the TSL so we were way off here... but they DID win a shocking D2 championship, so we were right to believe in Hogan, if not in the consistency of this team]
• There will be exactly three different QBs to reach #1 in our Power Rankings this season [Nailed it with this one... of course it helps that we determine the rankings, so we could have rigged this one if we wanted.  Joey Batts, Mike Thomas and Bobby McConnell each reigned on top of the Power Rankings for at least a week last session]
• Zack Attack finishes with the #1 defense in the League [Zack Attack was one of only four teams who finished last season allowing under 20 points per game... but TMA finished with the best defense in the League, so we were wrong here]
• Steph Infection beats Liddle Deaks in the Breakfast Club finals[YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.  We correctly called the winner and the runner-up of Breakfast Club last session.]
• TMA makes, and loses, the D5 Finals game this session [Why do we bet on TMA?  The D5 finals was Red Zone Mafia over Cobblestone]  

So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Spring 2022 Season.  Most of our stars are back, although we have a few notable player movements:

• Bro Kleckler, the eight-time #1 ranked QB for Tight Ends in Motion, is back this session after taking the Spring off.  Seth Molisani, who had replaced Bro, will still be QBing for Buffalo Vice Retro, the D2 offshoot of D4 Buffalo Vice.
• Freeballers and Bullet Club flipped divisions this session, but it looks like Dylan Jaloza will only be throwing for D2 Freeballers now.  Bullet Club will allegedly turn back to long-time ace / team founder Jeff Easton at QB.
• When Dove Cries is not putting in a team this session, which means Topper's unbelievable streak (literally unbelievable; we track this stuff, and we don't believe it) of making our Top Ten every season since we began Power Ranking will come to an end.  Unless of course Legends benches Joey mid-season and calls on Topper to take over.

We started the Fall 2022 session with only half our teams playing, so not a huge amount of movement in our Top Ten yet.  Let's see where we are to start the season!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 44-16 (Legends), beat Puckett All-Stars 51-44 (Cunning Stunts)

Joey picked up where he left off a couple months ago, winning games and talking shit.  Will all this "QB is Legends only weakness" talk go away now that he's won the big one, or is that a storyline we're going to hear about all season?

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for last season's #2, who was second in total TSL points per game, the second seed in D1, second place in the playoffs, and second in our Power Rankings.

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Eyes Downtown start the Fall season with a bye and will open next week against Tight Ends in Motion.

#4 Brandt Dubey - DILFS

Last Week:  Beat the Replacements 53-14

Did we learn anything we didn't already know about Dubey or the DILFS from watching them destroy a brand new team that probably has no business being in D2?  Probably not, but a tune-up game never hurts.

#5 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Who is Hogan throwing to now that he's lost Kyle Conniff and Sean Battaglia (why not, it seems like he's officially been adopted by Joey at this point)?  We'll find out next week.

#6 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Lost to Grey Hair - Don't Care 34-24

Grey Hair shut out Scared Hitless 14-0 last season and beat them in their first ever game in D1 to start this season.  Seems like Eickhoff and company have Dylan's number... but we still have Dylan ranked just a little higher.

#7 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week:  Beat Scared Hitless 34-24, lost to Legends 44-16

The good news is that Grey Hair - Don't Care picked up their first win in D1 on their first day in the division.  The bad news is their loss against Legends wasn't particularly close, which shows how wide the gap might be between the top D1 teams and the new teams that just moved up.

#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Untouchaballs had the week off to start the Fall season.  They annihilated D3 most of last season... will they even be a top three team in D2 this session?

#9 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Beat the Replacements 65-18

Garrett has a bunch of new toys to play with this session and the results were exactly what we expected in Week One, but like we wrote for DILFS above, we won't draw too many conclusions until we see Frodo play a team other than The Replacements.

#10 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting

Last Week:  Beat Can't Touch This 42-35, beat Get Schwifty 40-14

Ahh it's time once again for our bi-annual tradition of Scotty starting hot, winning a bunch of games and putting up great numbers, then collapsing in the second half of the season.  So far they're on schedule with a 2-0 record... what will they do differently this season to avoid the usual collapse?

So that's a look at where we stand after one week.  As always, we will expand coverage throughout the season to cover more and more QBs, but it's difficult when seemingly half the League hasn't played a game yet AND we're not even sure who's throwing for every team yet.  We'll get there.

**

For all you TSL history buffs out there that want to know QB Power Rankings data stretching back before the Top Ten chart shown above, here is the entire history of the Top Ten going back the past six seasons that we've been Power Ranking (season three being shortened by one week due to COVID issues):

UGLY chart (and it gets uglier every session we do this)... but thorough!  This is our summary version of the above, showing cumulative points for the last six seasons for every QB who has EVER cracked the Top Ten.  Here's how it works: you get 10 points for a first place week, 1 point for a tenth place week, and zero points for not making the Top Ten at all that week.  Active QBs (as far as we know) are highlighted in gold so you can see who has the best chance to move up this season.  Gives you a fairly accurate sense of who our top QBs have been over the past six seasons we think (obviously biased towards people that have been here the longest over that stretch):

**

And finally, here is our schedule for what we plan to rank this season OTHER than just our usual QB Rankings.  If you have feedback ahead of these articles and you want to weigh in, you can always email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  If you email us AFTER the fact to complain about how much you hated them, we'll just tell you that you should have let us know sooner!

• September 15: Best Female Players in the League
• September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
• September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
• October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

***

That's it for this week!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  you want to see those "Best in the League" graphs while your team is riding a hot 1-0 start to the season?  you hate that we basically copy/paste the first article of every season from the previous season with very little original thought?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..    Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 01 September 2022 12:24

Published: Thursday, 01 September 2022 12:24

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 6189

• September 15: Best Female Players in the League
• September 22: Best at Bar (Individuals, Not Teams)
• September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
• October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced

Spring 2022 Final Rankings

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Category: TSL QB Power Rankings

Created: Thursday, 16 June 2022 15:47

Published: Thursday, 16 June 2022 15:47

Written by Patrick McGovern

Hits: 4622

Hello and welcome back to the final TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the season!  

It's been a unique season for us with so many big QB names retiring or taking the session off, but it's actually been a great opportunity for others to step up and make their mark.  The three-way battle for TSL supremacy between Bobby, Joey and Mike has been exciting to follow (and impossible to rank accurately), Jeremy Burr has taken the Top Ten by storm, and some other underrated names have finally climbed the charts as well.  We hope everyone understands that we take time out of our week to write this article not because we're trying to make anyone feel lousy about their ranking (if we wanted to do that, we'd rank all 46 of you and highlight who's the "worst"!), but because we are genuinely trying to recognize the good work of the people that play the hardest position in sports.  When you're the quarterback, you bear more responsibility than anyone else on the field.  When your team wins, they usually couldn't have done it without you, and when they lose, it's usually because you needed to do more.  This is why we rank quarterbacks once a week, and other positions once per session.  So give your quarterback a hug this week win or lose... he probably needs one after all the abuse your team has heaped on him this year!

This week we've done our traditional "end of season Divisional Review" where we look at each divisions stats in depth and pick overrated/underrated teams for playoffs.  Regular season numbers don't HAVE to mean anything for playoffs... but they usually do.  Hopefully our charts below fill you with confidence and not anxiety.

But first... here are your FINAL Quarterback Rankings for the Spring 2022 season.  Enjoy!

#1 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts

Last Week:  Beat Eyes Downtown 48-36 (Legends), beat Varsity Has Beens 60-22, lost to Zack Attack 27-26 (Cunning Stunts)

Joseph Battaglia finishes the season as the #1 QB in our Power Rankings.  Not an easy decision between the top three QBs, but here are the facts: Legends finished with the best record in D1 and Cunning Stunts finished with the best offense in the entire League at 39.6 PPG.  That's what we call a complete resumé.  Joey could be a two-division champion in a couple weeks time, and then people will have to stop with this "he's the weak link on his amazing team" chatter.  They used to say that about Bro Kleckler on Tight Ends in Motion too...

#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits

Last Week:  Beat Tight Ends in Motion 45-26

The Sticky Bandits finished the regular season with the highest scoring offense in the League's top division.  We did NOT predict that in our pre-season article.  Mike gets the slightest of edges over Bobby in our rankings because a) he scored a measly three points more than Bobby on the season b) Sticky Bandits finished as a higher seed than Eyes Downtown in the standings, and c) Mike outscored Bobby head-to-head in their two season games by a score of 102-95 (no defense was played, apparently).

#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown

Last Week:  Lost to Legends 48-36

Poor Bobby!  He hadn't lost a game since April, he finished ONE touchdown away from the League scoring title, and how do we repay him for finally losing a game?  By dropping him two spots in the Power Rankings.  It probably isn't fair, but Eyes Downtown is third in the D1 standings behind the teams quarterbacked by the two men directly above Bobby in the Power Rankings, so that's the way it has to be.  Eyes Downtown finished with the fifth WORST defense in the entire TSL by the way, so the fact that Bobby was still playing for the #1 seed on the last day of the season is pretty impressive.

#4 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless

Last Week:  Beat the Notorious BNB 30-29

Scared Hitless survived a close one against Notorious BNB this week on the last play.  We don't blame them for losing focus with the #1 seed and first round bye in D2 already locked up going into the day.  Dylan finishes the season three wins ahead of the next best team in his division and Scared Hitless HAVE to be considered the favorites to win D2 at this point.  Or do they??  Check out our Division Analysis below!

#5 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime

Last Week:  Beat DILFS 25-24

Passed Our Prime averaged 37.5 PPG... LAST season, which would have been sixth in the League this session.  Now their scoring is down to 30.3 PPG, 21st out of 46 teams in the League, and right in the middle of their own division.  Maybe this hasn't been Hogan's best season statistically but finishing it off by beating DILFS is the right way to head into the playoffs.  Passed Our Prime won't be the favorites in D2, but they won't be a push-over either.

#6 Brandt Dubey - DILFS

Last Week:  Lost to Passed Our Prime 25-24

A win would have given DILFS the #2 seed and a virtual first round bye against Bullet Club in the playoffs.  Instead they dropped a one point game to Passed Our Prime and fell to fourth place, securing a first round playoff matchup against Notorious BNB in the process.  Now, DILFS have outscored BNB 86-35 in their two games this season so maybe that doesn't worry Dubey too much, but still tough to go into the playoffs on a sour note.

#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs

Last Week:  Beat Frodo Swaggins 44-18

The only disappointing part of Burr's season is that he couldn't score four more points to pass Joey Batts for the League scoring title.  Everything else has more or less gone exactly as he and the Untouchaballs could have hoped.  They finished three games ahead of second place Frodo Swaggins (who they destroyed on Saturday) and it's FEELING like nothing can stop these guys going into playoffs.  We suspect they'll immediately be contenders in D2 also.

#8 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care

Last Week:  Beat Bullet Club 55-24

If Untouchaballs thinks they're going to win D3 and then take D2 by storm, they should be watching Grey Hair - Don't Care for the blueprint.  We were close to writing these guys off when they started the season 0-3, but since then they have gone undefeated against their division (let's ignore that Eyes Downtown crossover game for a moment).  Has an 0-3 team ever come back to earn the #2 seed in their division?  This is ridiculous.  Big credit to Eickhoff and his teammates for not quitting on the season when things looked bleak.

#9 Alex Buchlis - The Notorious BNB

Last Week:  Lost to Scared Hitless 30-29, beat When Dove Cries 25-6

Notorious BNB struggled with attendance again on Saturday, but it didn't affect them on the field.  Buchlis easily handled When Dove Cries and then nearly went on to upset the top team in D2 in the second game of their doubleheader.  They've struggled against DILFS (their first round opponent, of course) but if they can get past Dubey next week, BNB has shown they can compete against anyone else in their division.

#10 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins

Last Week:  Lost to Untouchaballs 44-18

The good news is that Frodo Swaggins finished D3 as the #2 seed and locked up a playoff matchup against Show Me Dem TDs, a team they've beaten twice this season.  The bad news is they limped into the playoffs (literally, in Garrett's case) with a brutal loss to Untouchaballs that begs the question whether they have a hope of winning should those two teams meet again in the Finals.  

#11 Scott Drosendahl - 4th & Something

Last Week:  Beat Freeballers 34-24

This is how you confuse the QB Committee: Step 1) start the season 3-0.  Step 2) go 1-4 in your next five games, with your only win coming by a single point.  Step 3) finish the last game of the season by beating one of the top contenders in your division.  Look, we don't know what to make of these guys.  They're -39 on the season so we don't have a ton of faith in their playoff chances, but Scotty always seems to zig when we think he's going to zag, so we've given up guessing.

#12 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad

Last Week:  Beat Spinelli's Plumbing 35-18

Was B even on Practice Squad when they won the D6 title back in Spring 2019?  Either way, Practice Squad seems ready for another championship run.  Solid defense, smart offense, and only one loss in nine games (Vaspian beat them, if you didn't remember).  They'll be the favorites in D4... but not by much.

#13 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club / Freeballers

Last Week:  Lost to Grey Hair - Don't Care 55-24 (Bullet Club), lost to 4th & Something 34-24 (Freeballers)

The Freeballers have been unable to build any momentum since their big win against Untouchaballs earlier this season, winning only one of their next four games, but at least their point differentials are solid (pause to insert another shameless plug for our Division Analysis below).  Bullet Club is -185 and only "two tuddies" away from being the worst point differential in the League.  That can't be fun for Dylan.

#14 Seth Molisani - Tight Ends in Motion / Buffalo Vice

Last Week:  Lost to Sticky Bandits 45-26 (Tight Ends in Motion), beat Itches and Ohs 33-24 (Buffalo Vice)

Buffalo Vice finished the regular season with a losing record, but 4-5 doesn't look so bad when you remember that these guys started 0-3 and have gone 4-2 since.  Their playoff opponent is Freeballers, a team they've gone 0-2 against so far this season, but Freeballers have been so inconsistent lately that anything is possible.  Oh, and Tight Ends lost again with only a handful of players showing up for the game.  

#15 Nick Hawes - Spinelli's Plumbing

Last Week:  Lost to Practice Squad 35-18

The June schedule was brutal to Spinelli's with back-to-back weeks of Cunning Stunts then Practice Squad.  The pair of losses dropped them below .500 but you know what, not a terrible first season in D4 for Spinelli's.  The gap between D5 and D4 is real, and they've been a competitive team (nearly) every week.  They squeak into the playoffs as the #8 seed and get a rematch with the Practice Squad team that just beat them 35-18... we don't love their chances, but we wouldn't bet against Spinelli's to be a top level D4 team next session.

#16 Joe Miano - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons

Last Week:  Beat XMD 51-42

Money Miano is back, as the Lightning Falcons won their fourth game in a row on Saturday.  Why aren't we talking about these guys as contenders?? Winning streak aside, they also played well against Practice Squad way back in April, and that could very well be the D4 championship game in a couple weeks.  

#17 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs

Last Week:  Lost to Buffalo Vice 33-24

Last season in D4 the knock on Itches and Ohs was that they scored a ton of points but they had a horrible defense (though they won the championship anyway).  This season their offensive numbers are down (30.3 PPG) but their defensive numbers are a little better (33.8 PPG).  Championship material again??  We're going to guess no, but we were wrong last year too.    Expect a competitive game between Itches and 4th & Something this week, as the two teams split their two games this season.

#18 Matt Newman - Sleezin Szn

Last Week:  Tied Show Me Dem TD's 27-27

The two teams with the worst records in D3 tied this week, ending a disappointing regular season for both of them (if you think we're not going to copy/paste that sentence again below for Andy Clark, you're crazy).  The numbers say Sleezin Szn was the better offense, slightly worse defense, and better overall team than Show Me Dem TDs this season.  They're good enough to make it difficult for opponents, but probably not good enough for Untouchaballs who they face in the first round.

#19 TJ Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars

Last Week:  Beat TOX 32-12

Puckett was just the better team on Saturday, and they've won four of their past five games going into the playoffs (their lone loss was to a Varsity Has Beens team that missed the playoffs, of course).  They face the Interdimensional Lightning Falcons in the playoffs, who they didn't face at all this session (reminder: D4 is huge) so it's anyone's guess how these teams will match up this week.

#20 Darryl Carr - Cobblestone

Last Week:  Beat 716 33-32

Darryl led Cobblestone to a huge comeback win over 716 this week and earned the #1 seed in the process.  This really might be his year after a TSL-record 16 consecutive seasons without a championship.  His first round playoff opponent is Not So Sticky, who Cobblestone shut out in the regular season, so that's a matchup they have to be happy about.

#21 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Travis Henry's Kids this week.  Maybe Langley will get stuck in Sweden and other D6 teams will actually have a chance for playoffs?

#22 Blake Fisher - Red Zone Mafia

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for Red Zone Mafia this week.  They finished tied with Come From Behind for the best offense in D5.

#23 Patrick "Topper" McGovern - When Dove Cries

Last Week:  Lost to the Notorious BNB 25-6

Topper's arm is falling off his body at this point, so he's probably going to be reduced to calling nothing but running plays for When Dove Cries in their playoff game ("game" being singular, not plural).  We're excited to see what odds the Godfather gives them of winning a championship tomorrow.  Although we probably would have put DOMINatrix's odds of winning a playoff game at about zero last week, and we were wrong about that...

#24 Jeff Jenkins - XMD

Last Week:  Lost to Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 51-42

XMD is officially eliminated from playoff contention after a 51-42 loss to the Interdimensional Ligh - ah, you know how it goes.  Three losses in a row to end their season doomed whatever chances they had.  Still, there were glimpses of the old DMX throughout the season and scoring 42 in their last game isn't bad.  We just hope it's not their LAST "last game".

#25 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This 

Last Week:  Beat Varsity Has Beens 24-13

Can't Touch This ended their freshman season the right way with a win over Varsity Has Beens.  Cunning Stunts is a brutal first round playoff matchup and Ryan lost this matchup 52-14 early in the regular season, but Can't Touch This has been a better team lately, going 5-1 in their last six games.  This could be a sneaker sleeper pick for the D4 playoffs. 

#26 Zack Elphick - Zack Attack

Last Week:  Beat Cunning Stunts 27-26

What did we say last week?  "Zack Attack [have] historically have done well against the Stunts."  And they did again!  Zack picked up a huge win against the Stunts on Saturday to lock up one of the last playoff spots in D4 and keep the dream alive.  We like their odds against Vaspian in what's sure to be another defensive battle.

#27 Andy Clark - Show Me Dem TDs

Last Week:  Tied Sleezin Szn 27-27

The two teams with the worst records in D3 tied this week, ending a disappointing regular season for both of them (told you we'd copy/paste that).  Show Me Dem TDs finishes ahead of Sleezin in the standings due to a May 28th head-to-head win but make no mistake, they are the shakier team of the two, and the chemistry just doesn't seem to be there at times for Dem TDs.  

#28 Brian Orzechowski - Vaspian

Last Week:  Did Not Play QB

We hear Brian is hurting and didn't play QB this week?  We don't know his situation but hopefully he's well in time to throw for the playoff showdown with Zack Attack.

#29 Jeff Easton - Tater Tots

Last Week:  Beat Two Tuddies 37-8, lost to Come From Behind 21-8

Was the Come From Behind game Easton's first loss with the Tots?  He picked up a win two hours later, so we'll let it slide.  Tough to evaluate Tots offensively on their season stats because they had so much QB turnover, but over the last four weeks they're averaging 28.5 PPG, a full touchdown better than the 21.0 PPG they were averaging pre-Easton.  That's got to be a good sign.

#30 Paul Lovullo - Come From Behind

Last Week:  Beat Tater Tots 21-8

It took all the way til Week Nine but we finally got the legendary Paul Lovullo in the QB Rankings.  It didn't help that Come From Behind started the season playing like trash without him.  Come From Behind finishes the season with four wins in a row, during which they've averaged 34.3 PPG (a number which would put them at #1 in their division if they had been scoring at that clip all season).  Paul elevates his team, plain and simple.

And those are your final QB Rankings of the year!  We're not changing them now for playoffs, so they are what they are.  You know the rules: if you don't like it, whine about it at the bar, we're sure everyone will be very sympathetic.

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Division by Division Review

For our final stats review of the season, we're going to show you the following:

§  The breakdown of best offenses, defenses and net point differentials per division.  As always, stats below have removed forfeit games from the math, so what you see on the charts may not match the website (intentionally).  We tried to color each team's data by their official jersey colors, but half this league apparently uses black so it's not perfect.

§  A graph of average point differentials per game for each division with the same "Favorites, Contenders, Pretenders" logic we've used in previous seasons (if you're winning games by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Favorite in green; if you're losing by an average of 6+ PPG, you're a Pretender in red; all other teams are yellow in the middle; these are not OUR judgments on who falls into each category, it's strictly based on the math of your team's point differentials).  For what it's worth, in the last three seasons that we've been showing these graphs, we've had 11 eventual division champions classified as "Favorites", 7 as "Contenders", and exactly zero as "Pretenders".

§  A quick twitter sized recap of the division heading into playoffs, and then identifying which teams are "overrated" and "underrated" in each group.  Note that these last two categories are based purely on what we see in the scores and stats, NOT our own personal feelings of players on each team (we might personally think TMA is overrated, but if the underlying numbers say their team is underrated, that's where we'll include them below) so TRY not to be offended thinking the "website is being mean".  We're just reading numbers off a website, man.

And away we go!

Division 1

The Headline:  One favorite, two strong contenders, and one former champion that isn't playing like it.

Underrated:  These four teams finished in the exact order that one would expect based on their point differentials and offensive points per game, so there are no great candidates for either "underrated" or "overrated" teams in this division.  It's a stretch to call the Sticky Bandits "underrated" by the numbers but we'll pick them because, like the D1 favorite Legends, they have a net neutral or positive point differential against every team they've played against this year (+0 vs Legends, +7 vs Eyes Downtown, +14 vs Tight Ends in Motion, +37 vs D2 teams).  They also haven't lost a game by more than a point since the opening day of the season.

Overrated:  Tight Ends in Motion were 2-7 and finished last in nearly every category above, so no one is really "overrating" their chances to win the D1 title.  That being said, if you throw out their D2 crossover games AND the games that Tight Ends in Motion played quarterbacks other than their starter, they are only 0-5 and averaging 19.4 PPG.  They could still win a game on Championship Saturday... they could even win two... but the numbers say they'll have a very hard time keeping up offensively.

Division 2

The Headline:  Scared Hitless is the favorite, with four teams good enough to play spoiler and two teams that don't have a prayer.

Underrated:  It's funny that both our headline and conventional wisdom say that Scared Hitless is the favorite... when all of the numbers say DILFS is actually the strongest team in this division.  DILFS finished with the best offense AND the best defense (and by extension the best point differential) in D2.  And they're sitting in fourth place right now!  Based on standings vs stats, they have to be the most underrated team in this (or maybe any) division.

Overrated:  We'll give you two.  You can make the argument for Scared Hitless for the exact opposite reasons DILFS is underrated above: Hitless is dominant in the win/loss column, but the underlying stats have them as merely "pretty good" and worse than DILFS across the board.  Or you can make the argument for Bullet Club: yes, they're 0-9, but they're also -20.56 PPG, which is the worst point differential for any team that qualified for the playoffs (Two Tuddies was worse, but they're eliminated).  In fact, only one other playoff bound team is even half of that average point differential (-10 PPG or worse) and they play in D6.

Division 3

The Headline:  The Untouchaballs are winning this division, unless Freeballer or Frodo Swaggins pull off the upset of the year.  Other teams might as well go home now.

Underrated:  Sleezin Szn is definitely the most underrated team in this division.  They're somehow fourth in D3 in point differential at -3.2 PPG, despite being in eighth (dead last) in the standings.  It takes a lot of close losses to pull off that feat.  In fact, Sleezin lost three of their games by a combined four points, AND they had the tie against Show Me Dem TDs.  If they had scored just 8 more points during the season at key moments, they could be 6-3 right now as the #2 seed in D3.  

Overrated:  It's 4th & Something.  When you have the second worst point differential in your division and somehow end up with a winning record, you know you've had some luck throughout the season.  Also of their five wins, four of them came from the teams beneath them in the standings.  Their only win against a team with a winning record was last week against Freeballers... and Freeballers beat them 47-0 just a couple weeks before that.  4th & Something may win their first-round matchup against inches and oh's, but their record suggests they'll struggle in the next rounds against better teams.

Division 4

The Headline:  The TSL's best division definitely has its favorites (Practice Squad and Cunning Stunts stand out) but no division has more viable challengers than D4.

Underrated:  The Interdimensional Lightning Falcons' season stats are so much worse than their record, which usually puts them squarely in our "overrated" category.  But they're 4-0 in the last month and averaging 40.5 PPG over that stretch.  As we mentioned in the QB Rankings above, they only lost to Practice Squad by a few points earlier this season, which should give them some confidence if they meet again in the playoffs.  We wouldn't count these guys out.

Overrated:  It's difficult (but not impossible) to win when you're a one-dimensional team, and unfortunately that's what Vaspian is at this point.  They have the 11th best offense in a 12-team division (the Stunts are nearly doubling Vaspian's points per game), and yet they're second in the D4 standings on the strength of an amazing defense.  Vaspian never scored OR allowed more than 22 points in a game this season against a playoff bound team, which is incredible.  It worked for them (they went 6-3!) but we don't love it as a formula for a deep playoff run.

Division 5

The Headline:  A wide-open division with a handful of very strong teams (and a couple with no chance).

Underrated:  We'll take Come From Behind.  True to their namesake, they dropped four of their first five games this season then "came from behind" to close out their season with four wins in a row.  Yes, three of those four wins at the end were against the worst three teams in D5, but they didn't have their QB for some of their early games against the top teams either so it goes both ways.  We're not saying they're going to win the division or anything... but this team is much better than a sixth seed, and debatably they should be the favorites against third seeded Tater Tots this week (whom they beat 21-8 just last week).

Overrated:  You can make a legitimate argument for Cobblestone here because they're first in their division with the fifth best offense and the third best defense and point differential.  Funny enough though the MOST "stat overrated" team in the division is probably Not So Sticky, who are -7.9 PPG on the season but would be -14.7 PPG if we threw out the one game when Krol's wife threw for 77 points against a shorthanded Tuddies team.  That game wiped out 61 points of Not So Sticky's net point deficit on the season and made them look less awful on the stat sheet than they really are.

Division 6

The Headline:  Travis Henry's Kids are already planning for next season in D5; other teams are hoping for a miracle

Underrated:  Lettuce Win finished in fifth place out of six teams, despite having the second best offense, second best defense, and second best point differential.  We were tempted to pick them as D6's most underrated team... except that they padded their stats a bit by playing Lenny's Ladies three times.  Take those games away and they're 1-5 with a negative point differential.  Not quite "overrated", but not "underrated" either.  No, we'll take Southside as the most underrated team in D6, who went 6-3 with one of their losses coming by forfeit (remember their underage scandal?) and the other two against Travis Henry's Kids.  And speaking of the mighty Travis Henry's Kids, Southside BEAT them in the opening game of the year, got annihilated by them in a mid-season blowout, and then almost beat them AGAIN a couple weeks ago.  Winning against weaker opponents, decent stats on the season, AND plays well against the division favorite?  Sign us up for that.

Overrated:  With the glaring exception of Lettuce Win, every team in D6 finished in the standings in the exact order you would have predicted based on their point differentials and offensive rankings.  No one is really "overrated" here in that sense.  If we HAD to pick one team though (and we've decided that we do) we'll take Travis Henry's Kids.  They were clearly the best team in their division.  They finished a mile ahead of the next best team in terms of point differentials (+138 vs +10 for the next best team, if we include forfeit games for dramatic effect!).  They're only "overrated" if we think of them as unbeatable, because they're not.  No one is unbeatable.  They lost to Southside once, and only beat them in another game by 4 points.  They beat Woodpeckers twice, by a grand total of 15 points.  Anything can happen in football, and although Travis Henry's Kids will be massive favorites in both of their playoff games, they had better not play like they've already won the D6 championship, or they might get upset by a hungrier team.

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That's it for this season!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team's QB should be ranked higher? you're not happy about our color choices for your team in our Division Analysis above, and you don't care how much work it took to put that together? your name is Patrick McGovern and it's a real headache to upload all of these pictures we do to your website every week?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

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