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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 22 September 2022
- Created: 22 September 2022
- Hits: 2431
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
We have graphs, we have an expanded TOP 25 for our QB Rankings, and we have our very official, VERY serious "Best TSLers at the Bar" rankings.
Enjoy!
#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Beat Legends 47-16, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 38-8
The last time Bro was #1 in the Power Rankings was September 22nd 2021... Exactly one year ago today. You can't make this shit up folks. Tight Ends destroyed Legends and Grey Hair to completely flip the story in D1. This is TEIM's season, and the most underrated QB in TSL history has them undefeated through the first five weeks.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 50-42, lost to Tight Ends in Motion 47-16 (Legends), beat Zack Attack 51-48 (Stunts)
Legends lost, and lost badly on Saturday, which means the reign of Battaglia on top of the Power Rankings is over for now. Chris Cole remains the only QB to ever go wire-to-wire as #1 in our Rankings for a whole season (wayyy back in Spring 2019). Joey DID score 50+ in two other games on Saturday so not a terrible day all things considered.
#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 44-15
Bobby got a measure of revenge against the Sticky Bandits for ending his Spring session a few months ago by crushing them by nearly 30 points on Saturday. The top three teams in the D1 standings are averaging 41.5 PPG (TEIM) and 39.0 PPG (Eyes Downtown and Legends) and they have now all played against each other, with Eyes Downtown going 0-2 against those teams... and 4-0 against everyone else.
#4 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week: Beat Passed Our Prime 43-41 (D1 Crossover game)
If there was a D2 team that was going to win a D1 Crossover game, it was always going to be Frodo Swaggins. The "D1.5" squad Garrett assembled barely squeaked by Passed Our Prime on Saturday, but they have to feel confident about the rest of their schedule, playoffs included. No Punt Intended might be the only threat to their undefeated season... and would you look at that, they play each other this week.
#5 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 44-15
While there's no shame in losing to Eyes Downtown, we were shocked to see a Mike Thomas offense (even one missing a good chunk of its players) score only 15 points on Saturday. This is the QB that nearly led the League in scoring last session. Sticky Bandits are now 0-3 against the "Big Three" D1 teams this session, but to be fair they lost to all the top teams LAST session also, and still made the D1 Finals.
#6 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime
Last Week: Lost to Frodo Swaggins 43-41 (D2 Crossover game)
We're not sure who the underdog was in the Frodo vs Passed Our Prime game last week since Frodo is practically a D1 team (terrible luck of the draw on scheduling for P.O.P. there) but Hogan certainly delivered, scoring 41 points in a near win. Stop us if you've heard this one before, but Passed Our Prime is third worst in the entire TSL in defense, behind only the Replacements and Buffalo Vice.
#7 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Beat Freeballers 54-29, beat DILFS 36-21
No Punt Intended is still undefeated against their own division with their only loss coming in their season opening D1 Crossover game. Their defense has improved after a shaky start, and their offense is #2 in the entire TSL behind only Cunning Stunts. What will Kyle do when/if NPI upsets Frodo in the Finals and moves up to D1?
#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Lost to DILFS 48-46
Forty-six points really ought to be enough to win any game (we're sure Zack Attack would agree). The Untouchaballs defense couldn't support Burr and their offense though and the team dropped to 2-3 on the season with No Punt Intended awaiting them this week. Untouchaballs still has the talent to win D2, but momentum is not on their side this season.
#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Lost to Legends 50-42
It seems like the same story every week - Scared Hitless plays well, then barely loses to an elite team. Dylan STILL has yet to lose a game by more than one score this session. We suspect they're not going to get great betting odds from the Godfather's playoff preview in a few weeks, which is fair, but we wouldn't be shocked to see them go on a run.
#10 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 38-8
8 points isn't very good, Dave! Then again Legends didn't do a whole lot better against that Tight Ends in Motion defense, so maybe not a great opponent to judge yourself against. Grey Hair is currently last in their division in offense and point differential per game. Still, we admire their guts for jumping up to D1 when so many would have been afraid to try it. They're not far off these other teams.
#11 Travis Cleavenger - DILFS
Last Week: Beat Untouchaballs 48-46, lost to No Punt Intended 36-21
We gave up Dubey's spot to Travis this week, because he's essentially the starter every week now when QB1 doesn't show up. 48 points in a win against last season's D3 champs, and a two-score loss against red hot No Punt Intended... Not a bad performance for QB2!
#12 TJ Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Beat TOX 46-12
Puckett All-Stars are sixth in the TSL in scoring at 40.3 PPG and second in their division behind only Cunning Stunts. We could be seeing a playoff preview this week when TJ and team face off against the one-loss Interdimensional Lightning Falcons.
#13 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers / 716
Last Week: Did Not Play
Haven't seen much of Dylan this session. Where is this guy?
#14 Nick Hawes - Spinelli's Plumbing
Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 54-30
Puckett All-Stars gets a slight edge over Spinelli's in our Power Rankings on account of their better record, but Spinelli's DOES have a slightly better points per game at the moment (40.7 PPG, fifth in the TSL). Nick's lead should only get wider this weekend too after Spinelli's takes on Cobblestone.
#15 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting
Last Week: Lost to Get Schwifty 29-14, lost to Mountain Dew Me 34-16
If this is the start of Scott Seniors Starting's usual mid-season downturn... well, it's predictably RIGHT on schedule. Losses to Mountain Dew Me and previously winless Get Schwifty are hard to explain otherwise, unless Scotty was missing half his team. S.S.S. is 18th in the TSL in scoring but somehow still 1st in their division? D3 must be more defense heavy this season, apparently.
#16 Seth Molisani - Buffalo Vice Retro
Last Week: Beat the Replacements 35-6, beat Freeballers 20-13
Buffalo Vice Retro wins! Buffalo Vice Retro wins! Seth led his team to not one but two victories this week, against... okay, the Replacements probably doesn't mean as much, but Freeballers is a quality win! Good to see this team put up some W's after a tough start to the season.
#17 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 38-32
Can't Touch This is square in the middle of the D3 standings right now with a 2-2 record and a -8 point differential on the season. A win over Itches and Ohs this week won't pull them even with Bullet Club, but it COULD put them at #2 in the division with just a couple weeks to play. Ryan only got better throughout Spring session - if he keeps improving this Fall in D3, Can't Touch This could be a real contender.
#18 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 38-32
The wheels have fallen off for Practice Squad. Just one season after being unstoppable, the same core of people now has the 30th best offense and 32nd best defense in the TSL. We know it's a big jump from D4 to D3, but Can't Touch This seems to be managing it...
#19 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Beat 716 46-26
We probably should have been ranking Jeff for weeks, but his early attendance/injury issues made us unsure who was actually going to QB for Bullet Club this session. Well, it's Jeff, and he's spectacular. Bullet Club continues their improbable undefeated season and Easton is a major part of it (with credit where credit is due to John Langley... see our graphs below!)
#20 Zack Elphick - Zack Attack
Last Week: Lost to Cunning Stunts 51-48
Zack Elphick scored 48 in a losing effort and the Attack JUST missed out on the Top Ten offenses in the TSL this week at 37.2 PPG. Their two losses this season are by a combined four points, so it's safe to say these guys have been "competitive" this season.
#21 Ryan Henry - TMA
Last Week: Beat Come From Behind 43-22, beat Let's Get Reccked 36-20
Finally, the disrespect ends for TMA as we include a long overdue Ryan Henry in our Power Rankings this session. Or one could argue the disrespect continues that we're not rating him higher despite being the top offense in D5 (and tenth best in the TSL). TMA is undefeated and nearly doubling the next best team in their division in point differential per game. This is what we call a "playoff favorite".
#22 Paul Lovullo - Come From Behind
Last Week: Lost to TMA 43-22, beat Today's Feast 26-18
Come From Behind's only two losses this session have come against TMA and... TMA. These teams are definitely meeting in the D5 finals, right? We can't imagine anyone else stopping Paul at this point.
#23 Joe Miano - Interdimensional Lighning Falcons
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Interdimensional Lightning Joe last week.
#24 Cody McGregor - Mountain Dew Me
Last Week: Beat Scott Seniors Starting 34-16
Full disclaimer: all the McGregor's look exactly the same to us, so we're not sure who's throwing for Mountain Dew Me. We'll assume it's still Cody, the man once described by his captain as "the youngest of the four brothers, made from the leftovers. Fueled by bud light and mcchicken sandwiches. He was moved from receiver to QB due to lack of speed in his legs but makes up for it with power in his arm".
#25 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs
Last Week: Beat Get Schwifty 22-12
Itches has always been one of those "Passed Our Prime" type teams where the offense carries the defense, and when they win it's usually a 43-42 shootout where their girls score about five TDs. Interestingly this season though their offense is seventh in their division while their defense is fifth, and their last two games they've given up only 25 points. About time Steve got a little help from the other side!
***
A couple weeks ago we showed a graph of the best offenses in the League by division. It was interesting (at least to us, maybe you hate graphs) but it only tells half the story. Offense really doesn't mean a thing if your team is allowing 45 points per game on defense. The best way to understand overall team performance is point differential per game - so that's what we've graphed this week.
Positive differentials (average points scored per week are greater than average points allowed) are shown in green while negative differentials are shown in pink. We didn't label each bar with the actual number because it looks too "busy" with all that data distracting from the visual, but you can get a sense of where your team is relative to others around the League.
So what did that tell us about each division?
D1 was pretty much viewed as a two team race between Legends and Tight Ends in Motion coming into last week, but Legends is actually only third in point differential per game (PDPG). Tight Ends are crushing the rest of the League at +22.5 PDPG, while Eyes Downtown are second in D1 (and third in the League) at +16.3 PDPG. Of course, this is all pretty skewed by Tight Ends kicking Legends' ass this past week, but that's how it always goes with this type of data. Outside of the "Big Three" there's not much difference between the other four teams in D1 statistically.
Two things stand out in D2: there are two great teams that are much better than the rest... and one team that is losing by nearly 40 points per game. Untouchaballs, Freeballers and to a lesser degree DILFS are all kind of mediocre, but Frodo Swaggins and No Punt Intended are just a mile ahead right now. Poor Replacements... that is one long pink bar on the graph.
Undefeated Bullet Club having the best PDPG in D3 isn't a surprise. What IS a bit surprising to us is that 716 was second. They're showing as sixth in the standings right now, but that's mostly a product of them only playing four games so far this year, apparently. D3 doesn't seem to have any truly "bad" teams this session as it has the narrowest gap between the best team and the worst team in a division (19 PDPG). If you're looking for playoff upsets, this seems to be where you're going to find them.
Cunning Stunts has the best record in D4 but the gap between their point differentials and Zack Attacks and Pucketts is next to nothing. The TOP of this division is more balanced than any other in the League, although there's a clear drop-off after the best three teams.
D5 is clearly TMA's to lose. Come From Behind is the ONLY other team with a positive point differential, and they've already lost to TMA twice this session (once by a point and once by, well, much more than a point). Every other team in the division... we don't want to say they have ZERO chance in the playoffs because anything can happen (just ask Travis Henry's Kids last year!) but the odds are quite low that anyone other than TMA or Come From Behind will be hoisting a D5 trophy at the banquet this year.
Blitzkrieg is the #1 team in the D6 standings but somehow only #3 in the graph behind Not So Sticky and Superior Moser Squad. Like D3 and D4, this division seems open to just about anyone. If you toss out Not So Sticky's biggest win of the season over a short-handed Lenny's Ladies team, the best team in the division would be Superior Moser Squad... with only +4.8 PDPG. No one's running away with the D6 title this season!
And just because we like making graphs, here's one more for this week:
***
How about that "Best Female Players in the League" ranking last week? Pretty spot on, right? Okay, no one EVER agrees with those things and it's impossible to get a real consensus. Having said that, OUR biggest pet peeve is when people say "that list was so fucked up" without offering a better one. Think you know better than we do? Prove it and send us YOUR rankings. It's not easy!
But in the spirit of "easy" rankings, here's a much lighter, much less controversial ranking for this week - We give you... the Best TSLers at the Bar (active players only)
10. Buddy Lee
9. Kelly Liddle
8. Jenna Blachura
7. John Langley
6. Darryl Carr
5. Jeremy Streit
4. Joe K
3. Ricky Recckio
2. Dave Walter
1. Garrett Beesing
"What about Zack Attack??? What about Katie and Stegs, what about Steph, what about the Clarkes, what about TOPPER?"
Yeah. We've got a lot of great bar people that make Saturdays fun for all of us. We could have easily done a Top Fifty. What a League!
***
What? You hated that list, but didn't email us to make suggestions? Don't make that mistake again!! Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and TELL US who you think we should include on our next list. Or don't, and live with our shitty opinions. This is what's next (and it's a big one!):
- September 29: Best Male Players (Non-QB) in the League
- October 6: Division All-Star Teams Announced
***
That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? Graphs should have more number labels on them? Come From Behind and TMA deserved better on the Best TSLers at the Bar list?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!
What’s YOUR ranking?
