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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 06 October 2022
- Created: 06 October 2022
- Hits: 1431
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
This week we have your Top 25 Quarterbacks "Haiku edition" and your Division All-Stars. Enjoy!
#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Lost to Legends 36-30
Bro finally lost,
We blame it on his brother,
Tight Ends still in first.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Tight Ends in Motion 36-30 (Legends), beat ILF 53-36 (Stunts)
Legends beat Tight Ends,
Stunts are highest scoring team,
Why isn't Batts first?
#3 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 36-24
Four game streak is done,
Eyes Downtown lose to Bandits,
Where was Delecki?
#4 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 36-24
Big win for Sticky,
First win against top tier team.
Finals bound again?
#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week: Beat No Punt Intended 51-12
Frodo back on top,
Beats shorthanded NPI,
Finals will be sweet.
#6 Kyle Conniff - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Did Not Play
No Conniff this week,
NPI sucks without him,
Fantastic with him.
#7 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Passed Our Prime
Last Week: Did Not Play
Replacements forfeit,
a massacre averted,
Hogan gets a win!
#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Tied Grey Hair - Don't Care 33-33
Grey Hair and Hitless,
Tied in their game and standings,
Which team is better?
#9 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Tied Scared Hitless 33-33
Grey Hair and Hitless,
Tied in their game and standings,
Which team is better?
(What, we can't use the same Haiku twice?)
#10 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice Retro 37-36
One win since August,
and it was The Replacements.
Who saw this coming?
#11 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 48-19
Taverna's a stud,
Puckett killing everyone,
Vince for MVP
#12 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers
Last Week: Beat DILFS 34-32
Freeballers balling,
Dylan's so underrated,
Can he win playoffs??
#13 Nick Hawes - Spinelli's Plumbing
Last Week: Lost to Vaspian 27-18
Vaspian beat Nick??
Spinelli's should have crushed them,
Not sure what happened.
#14 Travis Cleavenger - DILFS
Last Week: Lost to Freeballers 34-32
DILFS are three and five,
Tough to win without defense.
Travis or Dubey??
#15 Scott Drosendahl - Scott Seniors Starting
Last Week: Did Not Play
No Scotty this week,
Scott Senior should be starting!
It's the damn team's name!!
#16 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Lost to Scott Seniors Starting 34-25, beat Can't Touch This 39-26
A win and a loss,
Bullet Club leads division
for first time in years.
#17 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Beat 716 37-28
Congrats to the Squad,
six game winless streak's over!
Try to build on that...
#18 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Lost to Bullet Club 39-26, lost to Get Schwifty 46-8
Ryan missing girls,
Tough to win so shorthanded,
even with that arm.
#19 Zack Elphick - Zack Attack
Last Week: Beat ILF 39-8, beat Cobblestone 48-12
Eighty-seven points,
That's a hell of a day Zack,
But we hate your shirts.
#20 Seth Molisani - Buffalo Vice Retro
Last Week: Did Not Play
No Seth at the fields,
Buff Vice Retro wins with sub.
Who wears short shorts? Seth!
#21 Paul Lovullo - Come From Behind
Last Week: Beat Woodpeckers 26-14
D5 up for grabs,
Come From Behind tied for lead!
Suck it, TMA
#22 Ryan Henry - TMA
Last Week: Lost to Passing While Intoxicated 24-14
That's two in a row,
what's going on TMA?
Don't choke for playoffs...
#23 Cody McGregor - Mountain Dew Me
Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs 42-25
McGregors are fast,
McGregors are winning games,
Watch out Bullet Club.
#24 Derek Pew - 716
Last Week: Lost to Practice Squad 37-28, beat Get Schwifty 27-16
Derek or Dylan,
Which one is the real QB?
Either can win games.
#25 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 47-20, lost to Puckett All-Stars 48-19
Two losses for John,
Distracted by the Ravens
upcoming failure.
***
Division All-Star Teams
We've been doing this for a few seasons now and we like the concept, so your TSL Division All-Stars are back! Here's how it works:
- We selected a team of 10 players from each division. Teams had to have one designated QB, at least five other male players, and at least three female players. The tenth spot could be either male or female depending on the strength of each particular division.
- Every division must have at least one All-Star from EACH team in the division. After each team gets their minimum one representative, we'll fill out the rest of the roster however we want. We TRY to spread this out so please don't write us an email asking why your team didn't have five all-stars.
- If a player plays in more than one division, they are only eligible for the highest division they play in, UNLESS it's for a different position (i.e. Jeremy Burr is eligible as both a receiver in D1 and a quarterback in D2, but Amber Hay is only eligible as a receiver in D1 and not D2). This came up a LOT. If you're wondering why you didn't make the All-Star team in the lower division you play in, please remember, you were never eligible... Especially Cunning Stunts, who have the best roster in D4 and yet NONE of them were eligible because they all play for other teams in higher divisions.
- This is not strictly a ranking of who the "best" player is on each team. You might see an athlete from one team make our list over a teammate that was higher than him or her on our Male/Female Rankings from the past couple of weeks. We're just looking for the best combination of players to fill out a team, and we'll take into account ALL that player offers when making our choices. For example, Derek Bongiovanni was rated more highly than Kyle Conniff on our Male Players list from last week, but if we think we'd get more out of Kyle's leadership and defense, we might choose him over Derek.
So that's how it works. It'll all be subjective of course so try not to get too excited when you don't see your name below. These are the best combination of All-Star teams WE could think of given the rules above. If you think you can do better, feel free to send us yours at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and we'll be happy to argue.
Oh, and the names within each category (male players vs female players) are arranged alphabetically by last name, so don't read anything into the order, they're not ranked best to worst.
Here are your Division All-Star Teams:
***
That's it for this week! As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher? two weeks in a row without a graph?? your feelings are hurt that we excluded your best friend from the Division All-Stars?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!
What’s YOUR ranking?
