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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 14 September 2023
- Created: 14 September 2023
- Hits: 940
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
Below we have ranked the TOP TWENTY quarterbacks in the TSL as well as a chart on the best (and worst!) teams in the League as we hit the halfway point.
A quick reminder about the QB Rankings: we only try to rank the "starting" QBs of each team, which doesn't give backups any opportunity to shine. This doesn't usually matter, but it's worth pointing out that Sean Weisensal has QBed four games this season outside of Breakfast Club and is 4-0, scoring 48+ points in three of those. How would he rank compared to the QBs below? Not a clue, but it would have to be pretty high, right?
#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 40-26
Bobby McConnell begins his fourth reign as the #1 Quarterback in the TSL (12 weeks total out of the last 68) by beating the Sticky Bandits. Eyes Downtown still haven't quite solved their "Legends" problem, but Legends haven't quite established a starting QB on their own team this session, so Bobby's an easy choice over whoever they've got. Eyes Downtown could almost (but not quite) lose out the rest of the season at this point and STILL guarantee a first round playoff bye.
#2 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 40-26
Mike Thomas was the #1 QB in our Power Rankings for ten straight weeks, which somehow tied Chris Cole for longest streak on top in Power Rankings history. But he fell one week short of outright breaking Cole's record after a 40-26 loss to Eyes Downtown. This was the Sticky Bandits first regular season loss (excluding indoor) since Fall of 2022, and drops the team to 2-1 with undefeated Legends up next week.
#3 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Father Baker 53-44, beat TMA 45-22 (Stunts)
We're still listing Joey as the QB of Legends... but he hasn't played QB for that team all season, and we're past the halfway mark. Is he still the starter? Is Sean? Is Travis? It doesn't seem to matter for Legends, as they win no matter who throws the ball (Taylor Pagano is probably up next week), but we don't typically rank QBs this high if they're only throwing for a D4 team. We'll see if Joey ever QBs for Legends again. Maybe he's bored of winning D1 championships as a passer and wants to try it as a receiver. But until then, the Stunts look awesome as they remain undefeated in D4, and Joey has THAT team firing on all cylinders (did we mention he outdueled #1 QB Bobby McConnell in the Battle of the Gender Teams?)
#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week: Lost to Freeballers 50-20, beat THREAD 38-27 (Mavericks)
Mavericks seem to match up well against THREAD after their second win of the season against that squad. It didn't go as well against Freeballers, where they scored an uncharacteristically low 20 points in defeat. Jordan may rise in the Power Rankings next week if Joey Batts is retired as a D1 quarterback... or he may fall in the Rankings if the next guy catches up to him.
#5 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 36-23
The Can't Touch This train just keeps on going. At what point do we stop asking how they're undefeated in D2 and start asking how they ever LOST three games in D3?? Their fifth win on Saturday already equals their regular season win total from last Spring (5-3). This team is also awesome at the bar and quickly becoming the role model for what TSL teams ought to be.
#6 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 43-22
The Untouchaballs looked a lot more Untouchabally on Saturday with another win over Practice Squad. There are no "bad" teams in D2 so playoff seeding doesn't REALLY matter that much, but you have to think that Untouchaballs would love the #1 seed and a first round rematch with Practice Squad, who they've never lost against dating back to last season. They don't have a rematch on the schedule against Can't Touch This though, so unless their rivals utterly collapse, a #2 seed might be the best Burr can hope for.
#7 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week: Did Not Play
No games for Garrett this week. Enjoy the camping trip!
#8 Travis Cleavenger - Cle-Avengers Assemble
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 41-30
We usually stick to just covering the teams where a QB is the "starter", so we'll start by mentioning that Cle-Avengers Assemble took down Scared Hitless 41-30 in only their third game of the season (and their first win). We don't know much about Cle-Avengers yet other than their huge misfortune of losing Emily Curry for the season to injury. Travis was the D2 Championship winning QB last session though, so we expect he'll have this team competitive as well. And yes, he ALSO QBed Legends to a win over Eyes Downtown this week to keep his squad undefeated in D1. How do you beat the #1 ranked QB and not become #1 in the QB Power Rankings? By being a part-time starter, apparently.
#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Lost to Cle-Avengers Assemble 41-30, lost to Can't Touch This 36-23
Scared Hitless started so strong this season with a double win on opening day. Since then they had two weeks off, and now a double loss to get them back to 2-2. Safe to say we have NO idea how good they are as a team right now at the halfway mark of the season.
#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Lost to Let's Get Reccked 57-14, lost to 716 52-46
The Wanderers got wreccked on Saturday (see what we did there?) and also lost to 716 to fall from undefeated to .500 in one afternoon. Of course they were playing shorthanded with three girls allegedly, so that probably has something to do with it. One bad day doesn't define a season... at least until playoffs. We imagine they'll be healthier with better attendance by then.
#11 Mark Dalfonso - THREAD
Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 38-27
When we heard that "Marketing Mayors" were returning to the TSL but in D2, we thought "that seems unfair, won't they just crush everyone?" So far they haven't, as their second loss of the season to Mavericks dropped them to 2-3 and right in the thick of the D2 race. Is it age, attendance issues, or something else that's holding them back from playing at the level they're capable? We'll keep an eye on it.
#12 Terrell Bolden - The Family
Last Week: Beat Keller Whales 44-37
The Family are the fourth highest scoring team in all of the TSL, and damn their offense is fun to watch. Sure, their defense sucks sometimes (fourth worst in the TSL) but we're not a "Defense Power Rankings" article, are we? Bolden is a dynamic playmaker and these guys go for the throat every game. This is definitely not a team that anyone wants to run into in the D3 Playoffs.
#13 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Beat Wanderers 57-14
Let's Get Reccked are 0-2 and averaging 21.5 PPG when their starting QB isn't present, and 2-0 with 46.5 PPG when he is. Not much question who the MVP of this team is. Buchlis's 46.5 PPG WOULD be the best of any non-gender team in the TSL. Of course it helps to play Wanderers when they're shorthanded. Next week's doubleheader against The Malones and The Family will tell us more about how good this team really is.
#14 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / 716
Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 43-22
Practice Squad is now 0-12 in the regular season in D2 (and 1-1 in the playoffs somehow) and unable to solve their Untouchaballs problem. B is always quick to take accountability, but we imagine he needs some more help too if they're going to be competitive in this division going forward.
#15 Jeremy "Hogan" Olson - Freeballers
Last Week: Did Not Play
Freeballers with Hogan: 0-1. Freeballers with Sean: 2-0. We'll just leave this here.
#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week: Beat Puckett All-Stars 57-36
Puckett All-Stars is an incredible team and an institution in D4 these days. How does ANYONE put up 57 points against these guys?? We looked into it (because of course we did) and Puckett All-Stars are allowing 53.7 PPG against Buffalo Vice in three games this year, and only 20.6 PPG against everyone else. Andy seems to have just figured them out.
#17 T.J. Ferguson - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 57-36
T.J. was the QB of Puckett one upon a time if we're remembering correctly... and then Vince Taverna took over for a while, and now T.J. is back? Is that right? Puckett hasn't been too affected by the change, as they're still a Top 15 offense in the TSL. If they never had to play Buffalo Vice again, they might even be favorites (after the Stunts of course) for the D4 championship.
#18 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
Last Week: Beat Father Baker 36-18
ILF has gone through many QBs over the years, and they looked dead in the water when they lost Joe Miano and moved down to D5. Ethan Herbold has made them relevant again though, to the point where they're now a complete team that doesn't have to rely on their defense to bail them out every game. The top half of D4 looks REALLY competitive this session, and ILF could be the ones popping champagne at the end of the session if Herbold continues to play well.
#19 John Langley - Bullet Club / Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Did Not Play
It feels like we've barely seen John this session. What has he played, one game for Bullet Club? Two for Travis Henry's Kids?
#20 Damien Keller - Keller Whales
Last Week: Lost to The Family 44-37
The TSL's youngest Quarterback and third generation Keller continues to play at a high level for the Keller Whales, who are sitting at 2-2 in a very tough D3. It's ironic that they lost to a team called "the Family" this week. Keller Whales ARE the family team of the TSL, and with Damien, the future is bright.
Fancy Statistics Section
So we've said you're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, because the sample size is too small to be meaningful... and guess what? It's Week Four! Yes, we know we broke down and did a "way too early to matter" graph last week, but now that we're at the halfway point of the season, we think we have a "this might actually matter" chart to share instead.
You've seen these before (we recycle our own ideas a lot, have you noticed?) but these are the Top Ten Best (and Worst!) Offenses, Defenses, and Overall Teams (by Point Differential) in the TSL:
What did that tell us? For starters, we always think of the cut-offs for greatness as being 40+ PPG on offense or allowing fewer than 20 PPG on defense. If you're doing better than that in either category, you should be in great shape.
At the halfway mark of the season, we somehow have 8 teams averaging 40+ PPG on offense. Incredible, but we expect it won't last. In fact last Spring we had only ONE team that finished the season over 40 PPG and that was Puckett All-Stars, so over the next half of the season some of these teams will fall back to Earth.
Defensively, we have only ONE team in the League that is allowing under 20 PPG and that is Sausage McMuffins (13.5 PPG). Last Spring there were four teams that beat the 20 PPG Allowed mark.
Why is scoring up so much this Fall? We can't say for certain, but we have two theories: 1) John Langley hasn't played as many games this session yet to drag the scoring average down 2) we've had incredible weather to start the season, and great weather favors offensive football. One miserable rainy day and we expect scoring averages to drop too.
Congrats to Freeballers for being the ONLY team in all three "Best of" lists. Usually we have more overlap, but this season it's proving unusually difficult for teams to be great on both sides of the ball.
On the other side of the coin we have Father Baker as the only team in all three of the "Worst of" lists. Unexpected, but we don't think that will last, at least on the offensive side. This team is getting used to new QBs (no one has QBed more than one week yet) and they have too much talent not to score points.
Interestingly Legends is the 7th worst defense in the TSL right now, which is stunning because they're the only undefeated team in our highest division. Apparently defense doesn't matter when you're able to score 46+ PPG.
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.
What's YOUR ranking?
