WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 06 September 2024 12:47

Published: Friday, 06 September 2024 12:47

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2350

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to Week 3 of the Fall 2024 TSL season. After two weeks of “getting things settled” and “shaking off the rust”, the calendar turns to September which means one thing: it’s football time. I know, dear reader, that you’re saying “But Godfather, it’s been football time for two weeks now!” and while I understand where you’re coming from, it’s not quite the same thing. The first two weeks of the TSL season are always the “let’s get the hang of this” weeks. In the Spring sessions, that’s usually a reflection of teams not having played football together for 6 months (indoor football is a different game, it doesn’t count) and they’re getting the cobwebs out of their heads after hibernating for the winter. In the Fall, it’s more about finishing up the end of the summer: some people have weddings, vacations, parties, and various other things to do where their focus isn’t squarely on football. 

But now? It’s after Labor Day, and other than not wearing white, the only other thing that matters is football. The weather turns to “football” weather, the NFL comes back, and your focus is squarely on the prize: Social Co-Ed Football Immortality. This doesn’t mean the first two weeks of the season mean nothing, no. It just means that the many, many storylines that have begun to develop will play out in all sorts of different ways. Some of them will remain a theme of the season, others will fade away. But which ones will that be? It’s hard to tell right now, but here are the developing storylines so far this season. 

 

 

• The Wet Bandits mean business. They’re already 3-0 and averaging nearly 50 points a game. They’ve handled their opponents with ease. 

 

 

 

• The Malones should have gone to D1. It’s already apparent, as The Malones are 2-1, with the one loss coming in a 49-42 battle with the defending D1 champs in the Sticky Bandits. The Malones apparently led by two scores at halftime as well. 

 

 

 

• Other 3-0 teams include the Cunning Stunts and the ILFers (we don’t have enough webspace to constantly print out the full name of the Becca’s Daddy Jason and their Incredibly Loving Friends each time) who are on a crash course to meet in the D4 finals, and I’m not quite sure the rest of the division will crash this party. 

 

 

 

• D1/D2 Crossovers look to be a success so far, even with D1 up in the series 4-1. Can the D2 teams close the gap? 

 

 

 

• D6 looks to be a tale of haves and the have nots as half the division is 2-0, the other half 0-2. 

 

 

 

• D3 looks to be back to its fun, closely contested division from top to bottom now that The Malones have gone away. 

 

 

 

• Grey Hair Don’t Care - about defense. GDHC is 1-3 (only beating a D1 team, if you can consider the Freeballers that), but they’re allowing nearly 43 points a game. 

 

 

 

• GUCCI and The Kellers (Mixin It Up) haven’t played a game yet, but you have to assume both teams will be in the mix for TSL gold come October. 

 

 

 

• Steph Infection continues to be the gold standard in Breakfast Club, already out to a dominating lead in the division. 

 

 

 

• Extra shoutout to the two crippled captains of BC who continue to show their support for their teams despite having 2.5 good legs between the two of them (Dri and Carly).

 

 

 

• Frodo figuring it out? Maybe. They’re 2-1, but that’s 2-0 in D2, 0-1 in D1. Even still, there’s better vibes coming out of the Swaggins camp than have been in recent memory. 

 

 

 

• Vaspian is 1-3, but they’re about 3 plays away from being 3-1. That’s exciting for the long running franchise. 

 

Those are just a few of the running storylines we have in the TSL so far this season, and in just a short time we’ll be able to see how many of those storylines actually play out and which new ones will develop over the next 6 weeks of TSL football. 

D1/D2 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits 50, Frodo Swaggins 31 

 

The Wet Bandits continue their hot start to the season, putting up 50 on Frodo, who are still looking better than they have before. 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Sticky Bandits 49, The Malones 42

Grey Hair Don’t Care 45, Freeballers 26

Eyes Downtown 30, Scared Hitless 29

Frodo Swaggins 36, The Untouchaballs 7

 

D1 leads the season series 4-1. 

 

The Crossovers continue to provide excellent drama as Sticky completes the comeback on The Malones, Grey Hair Don’t Care gets D2 on the board as they throttle the Freeballers in the Dave Eickhoff Revenge Game, and then Eyes Downtown BARELY squeaks by Scared Hitless. There was another game where Frodo just decimated The Untouchaballs, and the more worrisome thing I heard is that there are rumors Burr ISN’T the QB? 

 

D2

 

Mavericks 47, Can’t Touch This 31

The Malones 52, Grey Hair Don’t Care 14

 

The Mavericks returned to the TSL and it didn’t take them long to remind everyone just who they are. After two weeks of chatter about The Malones and Can’t Touch This, the Mavs showed up and dominated. Speaking of The Malones, they took out their frustrations on the loss to Sticky on GHDC in a big, big way. 

This Week’s Games

 

D1

 

Wet Bandits vs Freeballers (+10) - Maybe things will get better for the Freeballers, but it’s been a rough start so far. Getting Hogan back isn’t a bad thing, but recovering from losing Sean (again, for them) is hard to do. Speaking of Sean, here he comes to obliterate his old friends with the Wet Bandits on a tear. This might be a car wreck, and if you’re at the fields, consider looking away. WET BANDITS BY 17

 

D1/D2 Crossover Corner

 

Sticky Bandits vs Can’t Touch This (+8) - Sticky took all they could handle from The Malones last week, and now they get to see what Can’t Touch This brings to the table. CTT is a similar challenge: they have fantastic females, they have a QB who can throw the ball a mile, and they have dudes that can play. Oh, and they don’t talk nearly the same amount of trash on top of it. I expect a close game that Sticky pulls away late in. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

 

The Malones vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - That’s right everyone, we’ve come to a point where not only is a D2 favored over the D1 team, but that D1 team is Eyes Downtown. ED continues to spiral a bit, and I don’t think a 1 point win over Scared Hitless is going to make them feel like they’re ‘back on track’ by any means. The Malones let a big win slip away last weekend. They don’t make the same mistake twice. THE MALONES BY 8

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Mavericks (+7) - The Mavericks begin their foray into the crossover games this season with Frodo Swaggins, who are 2-0 in these competitions already. This is a game everyone should be watching, as I can envision Jordan and Garrett both making plays left and right. This feels like a 48-44 type game. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 4

 

Wet Bandits vs Mavericks (+10) - Things get progressively harder for the Mavericks as they get the Wet Bandits immediately after Frodo. The Mavericks have the ability to win this game, make no mistake about it, but the Mavs also have to make no mistakes to make that win happen. WET BANDITS BY 18

 

Scared Hitless vs Freeballers (+3) - Scared Hitless is oh so close to breaking through in a big way, and this game might be the one for them. They barely lost to Eyes Downtown last week, and now they get an arguably easier task in the Freeballers who are still settling into their new roster. SH takes advantage. SCARED HITLESS BY 7

 

D2

 

Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Untouchaballs (NO LINE) - Vegas couldn’t turn out a line this week as the rumors of a Jeremy Burr-less Untouchaballs squad get louder and louder. Grey Hair has it together at least, and should add to the win column here. GREY HAIR DON’T CARE BY 8

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Bullet Club 25, Jabronies 6

Practice Squad 38, Buffalo Vice 35

Passing While Intoxicated 41, Straw Hats 30

Let’s Get Reccked 54, Straw Hats 36

Bullet Club gets back into the win column after a nice victory over the Jabronies. Practice Squad and Buffalo Vice have a great battle for first place in the division early on, with the Squad sneaking the win out. PWI gets their first official D3 victory over the Straw Hats, although it remains to be seen if the Straw Hats are a D3 team or not, as they went 0-2 on the day, allowing 95 points, also losing to LGR. 

This Week’s Games

 

Practice Squad vs Straw Hats (+10) - Not being able to stop anyone isn’t the best for the Straw Hats, and it’s even worse when they get to take on the top team in the division next. Practice Squad has been looking for these kinds of results since they dropped back down to D3, and it looks like B has this offense humming along. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (EVEN) - Rumors of Topper showing up to play in this game just so he can shut down Colorado Mike with one arm are circulating. Not quite sure where PWI slots in in D3 just yet, but a strong performance here will give us more of an idea. TAST needs to start getting the offense going here, or they’ll find themselves on the wrong side of Buddy Lee’s wrath. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Jabronies (+8) - I’m not sure what Stem Cell injections/HGH that Buffalo Vice took in the offseason, but they’re looking younger, faster, and less “muscle pull-y” than ever. Andy Clark’s Air Raid offense is clicking, and Caitlyn Mason still continues to break the ankles of even people just watching her on the sidelines. The Jabronies still have a great team with Joe Miano at the helm, and they have sneaky good girls too. They could use this win here though. BUFFALO VICE BY 10

 

Mix’n It Up vs Bullet Club (+4) - The Kellers and Bullet Club have put on some good shows over the last few seasons, and I expect more of the same here. I’m assuming Mix is going to be most of the same squad that we’ve seen over the last few seasons, which means Damien is going to be throwing to Mom, Dad, Aunt Katie, and Uncle Stegs a lot. While you may be asking yourself “The Kellers are getting old, aren’t they?”, I’d like to remind you that Kellers don’t peak athletically until they’re 50 anyway. MIX’N IT UP BY 2

 

Bullet Club vs Topper’s All Stars & Todd (+3) - The second leg of a double header for both teams, we get our Joe K vs Topper battle that nobody asked for. TAST was last seen running from Bullet Club in the playoffs and forfeiting. All jokes aside, look for a closely contested game where the first defense to make a mistake could cost their team a win. BULLET CLUB BY 8

 

Wanderers vs Let’s Get Reccked (+3) - Both of these teams have followed the same script time and time again: The Wanderers win a whole bunch of games in the regular season, get called the best in D3, and blow it in the playoffs. Let’s Get Reccked is a team that everyone thinks SHOULD win a whole bunch of games in the regular season, but instead they always end up slightly under .500, win a game in the playoffs, and then blow it in the playoffs. Since it's currently the regular season? WANDERERS BY 1

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

ILFers 44, Select 39

Cunning Stunts 45, Creekers 20

ILFers 45, The Herd 22

Cunning Stunts 52, Vaspian 27

The Herd 34, Vaspian 28

 

The narrative of D4 is a Cunning Stunts vs ILFers showdown waiting to happen was only helped this week as both teams went 2-0, scoring 44+ points in all 4 games. The ILFers got wins over a VERY game Select (who has an outside shot at being a real problem in D4), and The Herd. The Stunts went 2-0 with wins over the Creekers (who are off to a rough start this season) and Vaspian, who would end up 0-2 on the day with a close loss to The Herd (getting their first win) later on. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Cunning Stunts vs ILFers (+7) -  LET’S GO!! The D4 Regular Season Title will more than likely be awarded to the team that wins this game. This is a D4 title preview, and one has to wonder if the ILFers can keep up in gender TDs. Buddy Lee has been great for them at QB, and after many failures at the position, we’re finally seeing their true form. The Stunts though, man, they just keep pounding away at everyone. They’re so damn good. That’s it. That’s the tweet.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

Vaspian vs Creekers (+4) - I think I’ve made it clear that the Vaspian Vibes are quite nice, despite the record, but what’s going on with the Creekers? Despite coming into the season with some expectations to be awesome, the only thing that’s been awesome for them (of course) is Mullet Guys’ mullet. VASPIAN BY 8

 

Select vs Cobblestone (+14) - Darryl Carr QB Superstar had a week off to get his mind right, and now he gets to focus on the upstart Select team who everyone is talking about. The problem might be that they’re talking about both of these teams for the wrong reasons. Cobblestone makes you wonder if they’ll even have a full team this time around, and Select’s good play has been overshadowed by infighting and Malikye (this is probably spelled wrong) being way too good for the division. Hopefully, both of these teams show up and play a good clean game. I think that’s what we’ll see. SELECT BY 18

 

GirthQuakes vs The Herd (EVEN) - The Roaring Herd got a win last week and they’re looking to continue this upward trend against a GQ team that we still don’t quite know what they are yet. However, the GQs definitely have the TSL knowledge that will give them an advantage in any game they play this season, and it’ll come in handy this week. GIRTHQUAKES BY 13

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce 34, Pit Harade 6

Come From Behind 56, Spinelli’s Plumbing 28

Not So Sticky 24, Pit Harade 12

 

Come From Behind put up a bunch of points as they tend to do, doubling up Spinelli’s. Pit Harade got a rude welcome to D5, going 0-2 in losses to Stir The Sauce and Not So Sticky. 

This Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - Stir The Sauce nearly won the D5 title last season, and they got off to a good start to the season last week as they try to win the title. Spinelli’s return to football has had mixed results so far. They’re 0-2, yet they’re averaging 33 points a game. They just need to fix the defense and they’ll be okay. Not sure that happens just yet. STIR THE SAUCE BY 5

 

Powerpuff Girls vs Not So Sticky (+7) - Not So Sticky will have their hands full this week as they get the PPGs who have been continuing their rise through the rankings of the TSL as they get better and better. They have superstars left and right, and NSS is going to be challenged to keep up with all of the PPG firepower. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 8

 

Two Tuddies vs Pit Harade (+7) - A rivalry renewed, sort of, as these two former D6 foes meet up in D5, albeit with some changes. The Tud Buds have made some big changes to the roster of course, as they absorbed some of the Reset Warriors and at least in Week 1 it made a difference. PH didn’t seem to have most of their big guns last weekend, and were without QB Dave Walter as well. I’m not sure which team will have the advantage here, but this should be a close one. TWO TUDDIES BY 2

 

Come From Behind vs Stir The Sauce (+3) - Come From Behind can just put up points with ease, and in the blink of an eye you’re down 20 points. The LoVullo football DNA is strong, and when this team is on the same page, look out. Stir The Sauce will be coming off of a prior game, which could also spell trouble for them, and Wrestler Dan’s speed and height combos can be matched by some of the CFB guys as well. Should be interesting to watch. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

 

Powerpuff Girls vs GUCCI (+7) - The PPGs will really get a chance to see how well they match up against the class of D5 this time around, as GUCCI makes their Fall 2024 debut, finally! Kelly Kane and company have been doing this so long together that I don’t think rust will be a factor, but getting to play the well oiled machine the PPGs are becoming will. The girls lay their claim to the throne, officially. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 12

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Day By Day 29, Dogg Pound 16

Sausage McMuffins 45, TMA 29

Blitzkrieg 35, Balls Deep 14

Blitzkrieg 40, Purple Nurples 31

 

Day By Day continues the upward trend, easily handling the Dogg Pound to stay undefeated on the season. The McMuffins hold off TMA, who, it turns out, plays much better when a QB shows up for them. Fall Blitzkrieg is in full effect, going 2-0 in their first action of the season, easily dispatching Balls Deep, and then pulling away from the Purple Nurples. 

This Week’s Games

 

Sticky Laces vs TMA (EVEN) - TMA gave us a glimpse of the TMA of old last week, and I’m expecting things to continue here. Once they get a bit of confidence, they’re a much better squad. They still have studs on the team like Brent and Val, so it’s not like all is lost. Sticky Laces started off hot, which was good for them after a rough opening season. I’m not sure the week off helped them though. TMA BY 10

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins (EVEN) - Championship preview? Both teams have started off great, as they’re 2-0 and won rather easily so far. The McMuffins score a little more but FBK has a little better defense. Both teams are going to get up for this one. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 1

 

Balls Deep vs Dogg Pound (EVEN) - Two 0-2 teams are out here looking for the first win of the season. Both teams are struggling on offense so far, as they’re both averaging 16 points a game (Okay, DP is at 16.5) and until they figure out how to score more, this is going to be a tough year. However the DP defense has been slightly better, and because of that, i’ll give them the nod here. DOGG POUND BY 2

 

Day By Day vs Purple Nurples (+6) - Day By Day has just been playing solid, systematic, good football, while the Purple Nurples are sort of the opposite, just kind of winging it and seeing what sticks. Sometimes that can lead to scoring outbursts, sometimes it leads to frustration. Give me the team that’s been steady lately. DAY BY DAY BY 6

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• The big one, as always, is how does the weather look for this weekend? My weather channel app here in Des Moines, Iowa tells me that Buffalo weather is looking like Buffalo weather: wet, 60 degrees, and a bit of wind. Football weather, sure. Get your cleat cleaners out for this week. And probably a change of clothes. 

 

 

 

• After such a close one against Sticky, do The Malones win the rest of their crossover games? As much as I’d love to say yes, I think The Malones end up losing to the Wet Bandits whenever they play as well. 

 

 

 

• What teams are looking to be struggling early on? Eyes Downtown just simply isn’t Eyes Downtown as of late. Freeballers really seem to be struggling so far this year. We might have jumped the gun on the Jabronies. The Untouchaballs might be boned if the rumors are true. 

• Who’s having a really great season so far? It’s not so much a team, but a player. I think Buddy Lee is really turning into one of the best QBs in the league. He’s 4-1 this season, winning with PWI, ILFers, and in Breakfast Club too. The only loss he’s had so far is the PWI game where they didn’t have enough girls to start the year. More and more eyes are on him as his storyline develops.

 

 

 

• How is Breakfast Club looking after one week? The TSL’s often imitated but never duplicated draft league division is looking spot on after week one. We had two games that were incredibly close (1 and 4 points), and while the other one was a bit of a blowout (20 points), that’s more due to the losing team losing Captain Dri unexpectedly than anything. BC is the best thing a TSL player can do. It’s fun, and it’s much less stressful than your regular games. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Joey Batts is really, really good. I know he’s been telling you that for the last decade, but he just feels like he’s on another level this season with the Wet Bandits and Cunning Stunts. Hot take: he wins both titles this year. 

 

 

 

• If the Jeremy Burr rumors are true and he bailed on the Untouchaballs and being a transcendent QB just to chase a title or whatever he’s doing, that’s incredibly sad and the league just got worse overall for it. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• D’s Nutz 32, Dri Girls 1 Cup 30

• All Ryled Up 35, Syd On My Face 20

• Steph Infection 44, Carlyac Arrest 30

 

 

 

• Games of The Day:

• 10:00 - The Malones vs Eyes Downtown

• 11:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins

• 12:00 - ILFers vs Cunning Stunts

• 1:00 - Creekers vs Vaspian

• 2:00 - Powerpuff Girls vs GUCCI

• 3:00 - GirthQuakes vs The Herd

 

 

 

• B’S BROTHER MADE HIS RETURN TO THE FIELDS AND WE WERE ALL BETTER FOR IT! 

 

 

 

• Let’s Get Reccked vs Wanderers is also going to be a very good game, feel free to watch that one. 

 

 

 

• Refs not showing up to games, not putting down cones, and not picking up the dog toys afterwards is not a great look for the league, but it also shows the character of the good people of the league that stepped up and stepped in when help was needed in a split second. 

 

 

 

• Dog Day is official for next week, September 14th, from 12-2. Get ready to give all the love to the pups and kittens! 

 

 

 

• People who worry way too much about an “overpowered player” in a certain division really just don’t believe in themselves or their own team enough. Accept the challenge and beat them. 

 

 

 

• As always, if you want me to write more about your team and shout out your players, email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. today. Stop dragging your feet and do it like so many others have! 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 23 August 2024 13:03

Published: Friday, 23 August 2024 13:03

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2384

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, August 24th at 10 am Eastern Standard Time in the Year of Our Lord 2024, it all begins again. That’s right! After nearly two months, The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality begins anew! The TSL Spring 2024 session brought us lots of twists and turns before we arrived at our final champions, and the TSL Fall 2024 session looks to do the same! Every single season is its own story, as new teams and new players show up to do battle at the Lenny Alba Fields at The Rose Garden, looking to etch their name into the good side of TSL history. So, while the tenured TSLer knows who I am, let me tell you, the new person to the league, just who I am. I am The Godfather, a displaced TSLer who moved to Des Moines, Iowa many years ago for work, and in an effort to continue to follow the league I love (and at the time that a LOT of my friends played in before most of them got old), I’ve been writing articles for over a decade, correctly guessing game winners, and highlighting what’s going on in the league. You can usually catch my musings every Friday during the season. 

 

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s try to catch everyone up on what’s happened since the Spring Championship Saturday. First things first, after much debate, there was no massive D1-D2 merger, sort of. This year, both divisions have 11 teams total (5 for D1, 6 for D2) and while that ALMOST got us to a 6 team D1 and a 6 team D2 (along with a Not 10-team D3), we’ll still have two separate playoffs for the divisions. However, there are going to be MORE D1/D2 Crossover games than ever, and if there isn’t a clear “D1 is still stomping D2” type of result, I think we’ll inch even closer to the ‘realignment’ in the Spring 2025 season. But for the Fall? D2 gets all of the fun to pull “upsets” left and right with the added bonus of going for their own championship anyway. 

 

Another fun thing is that despite the Rose Garden claiming they were breaking ground on the Topper Dome this year, it appears that plan is shelved for yet another winter? The result for the league, however, is the addition of a 5th field! This is good since it gives us another field to play on, which means games can get done sooner, but it’s bad because that means we need to get two more refs every hour. Week 1’s ref schedule already has some new faces on it, and if you’d like to join in to help, please contact Jeff or Garrett as soon as you can. The 5th field also gives us some wiggle room when it comes to getting in make up games, etc. 

 

Every offseason gives us some team turnover, and no two TSL leagues ever really look the same. So here’s a quick catch up on what’s been happening: 

 

Same Faces, New Places (teams that changed divisions)

 

 

• The Freeballers get all of the credit in the world, as they won D2 and they went straight to D1, no questions asked. 

 

 

 

• The Malones won D3, and kind of blew everyone out of the water in doing so, and they ended up in D2, as they should have. I’m actually surprised they didn’t jump straight to D1. Word is that Rhace is scared of D1. More on this as it develops. 

 

 

 

• Passing While Intoxicated made the leap into D3 after their D4 title win in the Spring. They add to what was already an exciting D3 lineup of teams. 

 

 

 

• Pit Harade jumped up to D5 after a couple of winning seasons that fell short in the championship aspect of things. 

 

 

 

• TMA is back in D6, where it all started for them so many seasons ago. Here’s hoping they find the success they had back then once again. 

 

Same Faces, Same Places (Championship teams that didn’t move up so we can shame them)

 

 

• Sticky Bandits stayed put in D1 after winning the title last season, weak. 

• Back That Pass Up decided not to exist anymore after winning D6. 

• THK also decided not to exist anymore after winning D5, at least for the Fall session.  More on them in a moment.

 

 

Old Faces, Right Places (Teams that have come back to the TSL after not playing last season)

 

 

• Grey Hair Don’t Care comes back and jumps right into the D2 mix, and they get a 10th game because of it! (It was a scheduling thing, but still.)

 

 

 

• Spinelli’s Plumbing returns, and they’re in D5 again. I’m pretty sure the last time that happened, they averaged 47 points a game or something ridiculous. Look out D5!

 

 

New Faces, Right Places (Brand new teams to the TSL who have either finally come to the big leagues, or just started here in the first place.)

 

 

• Straw Hats in D3 appears to be a Cobblestone offshoot, but one has to assume these players will show up more often? 

 

 

 

• GirthQuakes in D4 is a Matt Kieta - Dylan Jaloza - Bobby McConnell side project of sorts, but they’re bringing in a few new people to the TSL in doing so. 

 

 

 

• Select (Not sure if this is their team name, or if they just kept “Select” in the “Team Name” box on the registration form and went with it?) in D4 is a new team that Mark Harzynski of Tater Tots fame formed. Excited to see how they do this season. 

 

 

Same Faces, New Names (Teams that Rebranded) 

 

 

• Wet Bandits in D1 are the newest incarnation of the “if you can’t beat ‘em, change your team name to honor them since they own you” name of whatever the Legends used to be. They were Eyes Uptown last year. 

 

 

 

• Mix’n It Up in D3 is the newest name for the Keller clan, although they never should’ve strayed from 3rd and Schlong and everyone knows it. 

 

 

 

• The Herd in D4 is The Roaring 20s from a season ago. 

 

 

 

• Day by Day is the former Just Joshing in D6.

 

 

 

• Purple Nurple are the former Mighty (Mighity?) Drunks in D6.

 

 

In Memoriam (Teams that we lost this season)

 

 

• Tater Tots always get top billing here in the Fall, mainly because they never play in the fall session, but always come back for the spring. They’ll be missed. 

 

 

 

• Puckett All-Stars showed LOTS of promise last season, and I was looking forward to seeing them improve even more this season. But all is not lost! It just appears at least some of their girls came down with pregnancy, and once the parasite is removed, they’ll look to return in the Spring! (Kidding of course, congrats!)

 

 

 

• Reset Warriors lasted one season before they merged with Two Tuddies, which has led to some interesting changes for the Tud Buds this season. 

 

 

 

• Back That Pass Up won D6, and I’m pretty sure Buddy said that was it for them on the final podcast of last session.  Despite making an attempt to keep the band together, they couldn’t do it, but Jeff tells me a good chunk of them have other homes throughout the league for the Fall. 

 

 

 

• Travis Henry’s Kids were being dragged back to D4 kicking and screaming, knowing they don’t have the QB talent to win the big one in that division. Langley reportedly said he’d go to D4 “if I can have Stoner Dave, Ralph Finney, and Katie Salisbury”, and when Jeff easily said no, John canned the team in protest, robbing us all of a season of Pistol Pete. 

 

Well, that should just about catch everyone up on the comings and goings of the league to get us to where we are now. The Fall session of TSL is always a blast as it coincides with big college football games being on at the bar, everyone wanting off the weekend of Fall Fest in Ellicottville, but it also has the occasional potential snowstorm as well. And maybe a Halloween Bowl. The real question, of course, is which teams are going to rise up and grab the Social Co-Ed Football Immortality? Let’s take a look here. 

 

D1:

 

Odds To Win The Championship: 

 

Wet Bandits (3-1)

Sticky Bandits (5-1)

Eyes Downtown (5-1)

Frodo Swaggins (20-1)

Freeballers (100-1)

 

Preseason Hype: On paper, the Wet Uptowns have the most talented roster, but as the TSL has shown us time and time again, having the best athletes doesn't always mean you’re going to win. After an offseason of “will they break up?”, the Wet Uptowns stuck together to try to win this thing yet again, and after a year without a title, they’re itching to get there. Sticky returns as the reigning, defending, undisputed, TSL heavyweight champions of the world. The entire squad is back, although last year’s difference maker Maggie is apparently injured, so Rylee Moser joins her sister Laura on Sticky this year. No official word yet on if Steve is training in the shadows, ready to step in if something happens to Mike Thomas midseason. I’m assuming yes. Eyes Downtown had their worst season in a long time as a franchise last year, and the whispers that it was because Bobby lost his edge and focused his time elsewhere are only getting louder this season as he’s starting a D4 team and having “other fun”. They return the same squad from last year (slightly surprising, I expected a big free agent pickup) as they try to win back their title. Frodo Swaggins has been the whipping post for D1 for a bit, but last year was the worst of it, as Garrett fell in love for real and his body just didn’t know how to react to those feelings, throwing him off his game (Or he’s just getting older, same thing). After a few seasons where Frodo tried to get fresh, new people to join their squad, they’ve decided to go the complete other way this offseason, acquiring approximately 7,429 games of Social Co-Ed Football experience, adding Kevin Zack from Sticky Bandits, and coaxing Micah Hanford out of semi-retirement. While those are some big names to grab if this was 2010, they’re still pretty good ones for 2024 too. And last but not least, the Freeballers join D1, which is great. And before Scott gets mad at me, this time you’re not 100-1 as a joke, D1 is hard, and there are some GOOD teams in your way. There will be some growing pains, and losing Sean, of course, is hard. But Freeballers are a feel good story regardless, as Hogan returns to the field after some challenging time off. He’s the league’s hero this season no matter what. 

 

Preseason Prediction: Wet Bandits finally get it together after a year of not doing so, wrestling the D1 title away from Sticky on Championship Saturday. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits vs Freeballers (+10) - In an unsurprising move, Jeff Krol gives his squad the weakest team in D1 to start the season as a tuneup. Hogan has some rust to knock off, Freeballers have to adjust slightly, and it’ll be a promising start, but not a winning start. STICKY BANDITS BY 13

 

Wet Bandits vs Eyes Downtown (+3) - These two teams look to get their suspensions out of the way early again this year, as they meet up for another Week 1 battle. One has to think cooler heads will prevail this time though, as they have a common enemy in the Sticky Bandits. I expect a hard fought game that will come down to the wire. Give me the team with the better QB in that scenario. WET BANDITS BY 3

CROSSOVER CORNER! 

 

With D1/D2 Crossover games happening nearly every single week, this is where I’ll normally post those game predictions in a regular article. However, for today, I’ll do it after I go over the teams in D2. 

D2:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

The Malones (3-1)

Mavericks (4-1)

Can’t Touch This (6-1)

The Untouchaballs (8-1)

Grey Hair Don’t Care (10-1)
Scared Hitless (12-1)

 

Preseason Hype: I’m not betting against The Malones until I can see someone slow them down and stop them. They were a juggernaut last year in D3, and word is that they’ve only gotten better for this year. Like I said before, I wish we saw them in D1, but that will have to wait until Spring. They join a ridiculously even division that almost saw a 5 way tie for first place last season. The Mavericks are right there with them, and while the good vibes team of the Spring fell short of a title, they should definitely be in the mix this season as well, although losing Misty Himes for the season (on the IR with “wedding”) is going to hurt. Can’t Touch This actually got through their wedding stuff last season, so they can focus even more on the on field product this year. After a long losing streak last season, they started winning games, including crossovers, and had a very good shot at the D2 title. Despite offseason rumors that Ben Stack was going to join CTT, he wasn’t allowed to leave Bobby, but CTT apparently signed the good Stack, Kate, to a contract anyway. The Untouchaballs are back yet again, and they’re returning mostly the same team, adding Steph Czaja along the way. I was informed of some Burr leaving the team rumors, but he’s just too damn good of a QB to run to play second fiddle to anyone else, so I won’t believe it until I see it. Grey Hair Don’t Care returns after a season off, and while most of the team is coming back to the TSL, QB Dave isn’t, as he led the Freeballers to the D2 title game and sent them to D1. Can he win two in a row with two different teams? Lastly, Scared Hitless continues to be a very good team, although the Travis experiment is no longer. Losing him hurts of course, but they always seem to find their way along the course of the season. 

 

Preseason Prediction: The Malones beat The Untouchaballs in a ridiculously entertaining game that will have the best, loudest smack talk session between Burr and Rhace that the TSL hasn’t seen in ages. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Crossover Corner! 

 

Can’t Touch This vs Frodo Swaggins (EVEN) - Our first Crossover game is already an even line. That’s exciting! CTT, if memory serves me correctly, beat Frodo in a Crossover game last season, so here we are with a slight grudge match as Frodo tries to “get one back”. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 3

 

Wet Bandits vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+10) - I don’t yet know what GHDC is going to look like in their return, so it’s hard to pick them against the D1 favorites. WET BANDITS BY 14

D2 Games!

 

The Malones vs Scared Hitless (+7) - On the one hand, The Malones win games because they’re fast and athletic as heck. But so are Scared Hitless. SH has won D2, they’ve played in D1, and they know what it takes to win in the upper divisions. They have the knowhow, which goes a long way here. But The Malones have something to prove, and I can’t imagine them not being hyped for Week 1. THE MALONES BY 13

 

Can’t Touch This vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+6) - As I said before, I don’t know what to expect from GHDC, but I know what to expect from CTT. Right now, they’re in a winning phase, and I expect that to continue. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

D3:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Wanderers (3-1)

Let’s Get Reccked (4-1)

Mix’n It Up (6-1)

Jabronies (7-1)

Bullet Club (11-1)

Practice Squad (12-1)

Buffalo Vice (12-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (12-1)

Topper’s All Stars & Todd (15-1)

Straw Hats (20-1)

 

Preseason Hype: D3 has 10 teams, which works because D3 tends to be the division with the closest games and an “anyone can win it” feel to it. Granted, The Malones disrupted that last season, but they’re in D2 now, and they’re replaced by PWI (who should fit in wonderfully here) and Straw Hats (who I don’t know enough about, but sure!). The Wanderers are on top here as they should be. They’re essentially the same team they always are, and stopping Sal and Stoner Dave feels impossible at times. Here comes 9 one score games. Let’s Get Reccked has a LOT of talent but never quite puts it together for one reason or another. They could still use some girl depth, but Molly and Becca more than hold their own. The Kellers are always near the top of the standings, and this could be the breakout season for Damien. The Kellers are due for a championship, aren’t they? The Jabronies return, but they took a significant blow in the offseason, losing Carly to a broken everything in her leg. This is why NFL teams don’t let their players play on Arena League teams during the offseason. Between losing Carly and Lindsey still being hurt from last season, they dusted off Emma and brought her back to the league. She was on her way to being a star in the TSL before life took her elsewhere, let’s see how she does now that she’s back. Bullet Club returns largely the same team from last season, as their inability to close out games last season led to their early exit in the playoffs. Practice Squad is back again, adding new girls to the roster to take some of the pressure off Ashtin and Renee, and B too. Buffalo Vice is the same crew they’ve been for 100 years now, but hopefully a bit more healthy than last season! PWI, like I said, makes the jump up to D3 and added TSL veteran Dorene to the mix, who will be right at home on a team with “Intoxicated” in their name. TAST returns, although defensive stalwart Topper might miss a game or two to start the year, but the bigger news is that they’ve coaxed future TSL Hall of Famer Cheryl Julicher out of semi-retirement. That could pay big dividends. Lastly, we have Straw Hats who I don’t know too much about just yet. 

 

Preseason Prediction: The Wanderers continue their solid brand of football dominance to pull off the championship victory over Mix’n It Up. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers vs Jabronies (+3) - The Jabronies are going to be players for the D3 title mix for sure, but getting the D3 favorites off the bat when they’re working in new players is just bad luck. WANDERERS BY 3

 

Mix’n It Up vs Straw Hats (+8) - If there’s ever a good litmus test for how well a new team will do in D3, it’s seeing how good they look against the Kellers. I’m sure the Kellers will be mixing things up on the field, which will give us a good look at what the Hats will bring to the table this season. MIX’N IT UP BY 10

 

Bullet Club vs Buffalo Vice (+7) - Two teams in a must win game to start the season? Sign me up. Vice and The Club both are looking to be around the 7th seed in the league projections, so this tiebreaker is going to mean a lot in October. The reason that matters is while everyone makes the playoffs, the first round is 7v10 and 8v9. This should be a good one. BULLET CLUB BY 3

 

Jabronies vs Topper’s All-Stars & Todd (+6) - With potentially no Topper to shutdown Eric Kleckler on deep balls, Jabronies could have a field day here. I’m expecting a lower scoring game in this one that comes down to the wire. JABRONIES BY 4

 

Wanderers vs Bullet Club (+8) - A tradition unlike any other, I’m pretty sure the Wanderers have played Bullet Club in Week 1 multiple times since they’ve joined the TSL, and yet again they get another double header to start the year. Marquee games like this (and for example, Wet Uptowns vs Eyes Downtown) playing in Week 1 is kind of fun to do. However, Bullet Club feels a step behind the Wanderers currently, so I don’t think this game is going to be what we’re used to. WANDERERS BY 10

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - It’s like looking in a mirror. It’s a bit symbolic that PWI plays Practice Squad in their first game in D3, because they’ve essentially taken the path that Practice Squad forged before them. Winning D5, moving up and winning D4, and now moving up to D3 (Okay, PS blew the D5 title in OT, I know, but we’ll give a pass here). PWI will have slight growing pains, which will give PS the edge they’re going to need. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 1. 

D4

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Cunning Stunts (2-1)

ILF (4-1)

Creekers (6-1)

GirthQuakes (10-1)

Select (15-1)

Vaspian (17-1)

Cobblestone (18-1)

The Herd (20-1)

 

Preseason Hype: There isn’t much to love about D4 this season, because there are a lot of questions after the top teams. The Cunning Stunts look to maybe actually win a championship this time around, and they stole Maddie Norton from the PowerPuff Girls to help them do it. ILF returns everyone, but they added Buddy Lee at QB to solidify the position, which might get them over the hump. The Creekers continue to get better, and Quentin Carbone showed up and showed out at the wine tournament, which can only mean good things for the team. After the Top 3, there’s just a bunch of question marks. The GQs have the familiar names of Bobby, Kieta, and Dylan (clearly using nice guy Dylan to counteract the general “Ugh. Bobby and Kieta?” feeling that refs around the TSL already feel. Select is very Tater Tots-esque, so hopefully they’ll make some noise right away. Vaspian always seems to go through roster issues, so we don’t get a good read on them until Week 7. Cobblestone, same idea. And The Herd might have the worst odds, but they might be the bet to make as one of the best QBs in the league’s history, Mark Dalfonso, dusts himself off to help the new guys get it together. 

 

Preseason Prediction: The Cunning Stunts finally, finally, finally win this thing, outlasting the Creekers in the finals. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

ILF vs Cobblestone (+10) - Despite their absolutely ridiculously long name, ILF is just now going to be ILF no matter what in these articles. It’s exciting to see how they fare with Buddy Lee at QB, and defense was never an issue for them. Cobblestone is still largely an unknown until they show up. ILF BY 18

 

GirthQuakes vs Select (+6) - The oddsmakers apparently are giving Select points simply because of the names we know on the other team. I can’t imagine Bobby is throwing, is he? In D4? If that’s the case perhaps his players are brand new to the league, and I hope he isn’t making them do two-a-days already. Good thing Kieta is there to bring the smiles, fun, and level headedness new teams need. One of these teams is going to have a brand new TSL star on it. But which one? GIRTHQUAKES BY 7

 

Creekers vs Vaspian (+7) - The fun about Vaspian is that you really don’t always know what you’re going to get from them each season. It didn’t used to always be like that, but that’s what happens when people get married and have kids or get a career and forget about how important Social Co-Ed Touch Football is. When they have a consistent team, they can play shutdown D and beat anyone. But right now, the Creekers have been a very good team for a calendar year and show signs of getting better every week. CREEKERS BY 10

 

GirthQuakes vs Cobblestone (+3) - Doubleheader for both squads. Always a fun test for a team in Week 1. GIRTHQUAKES BY 8

 

Select vs Vaspian (EVEN) - This could be quite an entertaining game, another matchup of two teams with doubleheaders. SELECT BY 3

 

Cunning Stunts vs The Herd (+14) - New QB or not, The Herd gets the Cunning Stunts buzzsaw that got even better this offseason. There’s only two ways this game ends: a bloodbath or the biggest upset to start a season ever. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

D5: 

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

GUCCI (3-1)

Come From Behind (4-1)

Not So Sticky (6-1)

Spinelli’s Plumbing (6-1)

Power Puff Girls (10-1)

Stir The Sauce (12-1)

Two Tuddies (18-1)

Pit Harade (20-1)

 

Preseason Hype: Stop me if you heard this before, but GUCCI and CFB are favorites to win the whole thing in D5. Again. GUCCI chose not to move onto D4 (which they easily could have, despite not winning D5 yet), so Kelly Kane and crew are ready to finally win their first TSL championship this Fall. CFB returns the same squad they’ve had for eternity. Not So Sticky loses Christine Krol (she didn’t ref, no exceptions from Jeff!) but they gain Ricky Recckio, so I think things will be okay for them. Spinelli’s returns and the offensive fireworks will hopefully come with it. The Power Puff Girls made strides last season, although the loss of Maddie is going to hurt a little. I’m sure they’ll be okay. Stir The Sauce returns last season’s team that made a little run as Wrestler Dan and the Buscaglias are primed to take another step this fall. The Two Tuddies made big moves in the offseason, moving on from QB Nick Stutzman to acquire Shirtless Chris’ brother, Shirted Wolcott to throw after the Reset Warriors needed a reset. Pit Harade jumps up to D5 after not winning the D6 title last season. They’ve added old Overcompensators QB Larry to the team after just about everyone played QB at some point last season. Not sure how they’re going to do in D5. 

 

Preseason Predictions: Not So Sticky works their way into the D5 title game where they allow 42 points to Spinelli’s, who wins the title. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs Power Puff Girls (+7) - The PPG get a tough test to see how they’re going to do this season right out of the gate, as they get Come From Behind. CFB still has Paul’s rocket arm (seriously, we may need PED testing here in the TSL), Harlan’s speed, and Molly and Leslie, so they’re going to be fine here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

 

Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Power Puff Girls (+7) - Out of the frying pan and into the fire for the PPGs as their doubleheader brings them Spinelli’s buzzsaw of an offense. Granted, they might be rusty and not on the same page, but I’ve seen them score a lot of points over a lot of seasons and I think it’s like riding a bike for them. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 14

 

Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies (+7) - A classically fun lighthearted “rivalry” between NSS and the Tud Buds has been around about as long as the Tuddies have been. It’s a good test for the new look Tuddies. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

D6:

 

Odds To Win The Championship:

 

Blitzkrieg (3-1)

Sausage McMuffins (5-1)

Balls Deep (7-1)

TMA (8-1)

Purple Nurple (10-1)

Day By Day (10-1)

Sticky Laces (12-1)

Dogg Pound (15-1)

 

Preseason Hype: D6 looks different nowadays with Pit Harade and BTPU moving on. Fall Blitzkrieg is back, and while it felt that maybe they should’ve made a jump up to D5 as well, usually this season is when QB Alex doesn’t play, and they have to reset anyway. BK has the most talent in the division, and they’ve come so close time and time again. This has to be the year, right? The McMuffins return to pick up where they left off last season, and there’s a good chance they’ll be battling for a title. Balls Deep was a bit of a paper tiger last season, but making some improvements on both sides of the ball can make them a contender asap. TMA is back in D6, which is a good thing for them AND the division, as it makes things more competitive for all of D6, and TMA can get their groove back too. After some tough seasons, they should find some more wins here. Purple Nurple (see: Mighty Drunks) look to bring back the same team as before, but they still need to shore up the defensive woes from a season ago. Day By Day (Just Joshing) figured out how football worked during last season, and was easily one of the TSL’s most improved teams as the season ended. They look to build on that this year. Sticky Laces came on at the end of the year as well, and they’ve added some more girls to help get them over the hump. Dogg Pound had a rough first season, but they’re a team that started figuring it out as time went on. 

 

Preseason Prediction: Fall Blitzkrieg continues doing what they do best and blowing it in the playoffs, losing to the McMuffins in the title game. (Maybe I’m trying a reverse jinx, maybe not)

This Week’s Games:

 

Day By Day vs TMA (EVEN) - A good return team for TMA to come back to, Just Josh…Day By Day is a solid opponent for even the oldest of franchises. It’ll be good to see TMA back on the field doing their thing. TMA BY 3

 

Sticky Laces vs Dogg Pound (+3) - These two teams met in the playoffs last season and had quite a good game in the 8v9 battle if I remember correctly. QB Kyle made strides in his first season throwing for the Laces, so look for that to continue. Hopefully the DP found a QB in the offseason, as that was part of their issues last year. STICKY LACES BY 8

 

Balls Deep vs Sticky Laces (+10) - Balls Deep doesn’t always score a ton, but they usually play excellent defense, which should spell trouble for the Laces who are working in new players AND they’ll be on their second game of the day. BALLS DEEP BY 6

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Purple Nurple (+7) - Not sure which version of either team we’ll get here, but if I take the averages of last season, the McMuffins shouldn’t have any issue scoring on the Nurps. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 19

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Can you pick alternate winners for each division? Sure. Sticky Bandits, The Untouchaballs, Jabronies, ILF, Come From Behind, and Day By Day? 

 

 

 

• Who are the three best long shots to bet on odds wise? I’m only picking teams 10-1 or more here. Stir The Sauce, Select, and Passing While Intoxicated. 

 

 

 

• What’s the best storyline to follow for the Fall 2024 season? I think there’s a lot of good storylines to follow, but the one the entire league should be most interested in is the addition of even more D1/D2 crossover games. D2 teams went 4-4 last season against D1, and now there will be even more games between the two divisions. Some big D2 wins this season would be really interesting for sure. 

 

 

 

• How are the fields after the Spring session? Really good actually! Jeff said the grass grew in nicely, and the 5th field is actually a brand new one that we’ll get to “break in” a bit this season. Expect that new field to be a little rough, but the schedule has been rigged so that every team plays exactly one or two games on that field.  Everyone can share the burden of Field 5 together!

 

 

 

• What division is looking to be the most competitive? It’s probably D2, but I’m going to go with D3 since they have more teams that feel pretty close together. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• You’re looking at a beautiful, 80 degree day tomorrow. Absolutely perfect weather to start the season! 

 

 

 

• Yes, Breakfast Club is back! We have three new captains in Rylee, Carly, and Sydney, and it starts next week! Excited to see what bets they bring to the table. 

 

 

 

• Remember that parking may still be a bit tight, so try not to leave big gaps between your vehicles so we can fit as many cars in the lot as we can. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Scared Hitless vs The Malones

• 11:00 - Jabronies vs Wanderers

• 12:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Can’t Touch This

• 1:00 - Girthquakes vs Select

• 2:00 - Wet Bandits vs Eyes Downtown

• 3:00 - Cunning Stunts vs The Herd

 

 

 

• If you’re willing to help referee, again, please reach out to Jeff Krol, Garrett, Topper, Joe K, Cookie Monster, B’s Brother, Elmo, or whoever you can and they’ll get you in the right direction. 

 

 

 

• If you’re new here, you should know that every week we’ll have 2-3 articles about the league here on the site and I think the podcast is happening again too! There’s tons of league content!

 

 

 

• If you want to lend a hand in helping the league with anything, social media, taking pictures, writing a weekly article, coming on the podcast to talk about your team, etc, please reach out to the same people I listed above (except for Elmo, he doesn’t like helping with this stuff).

 

 

 

• Please remember not to berate the refs even if they make a questionable call or a mistake. Yelling at the refs won’t be tolerated, you’ll get kicked out, and you’ll just look like a douchebag jerk. 

 

 

 

• I was told that Dog Day is returning on September 14th, where the Buffalo Animal Shelter is going to show up to the fields with adoptable pets to play with. Make sure you’re there to adopt your new best friend!

 

 

 

• Remember, if you want to get your team more pub in the article, let me know who you are and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. so that I can get some inside info on your team! 

 

Welcome back TSLers! The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is on! Who’s going to win it? 

 

-GF OUT

Week 2

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 30 August 2024 17:54

Published: Friday, 30 August 2024 17:54

Written by Patrick McGovern

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And just like that, we’re off. That’s right Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is on! Week 1 is in the books, and it gave us everything we wanted and more! There were close games, there were blowouts, there were ambulances, there were suspensions, there was the surprise that neither of the last two things were related to the Wet Uptowns vs Eyes Downtown game in any way, there was Joey Batts not answering B’s Brother’s request for a way to the fields on Facebook, the weather was hot, Field 5 wasn’t that terrible besides a rock here and there, and lots of teams had fun. 

 

There were quite a lot of things going on, and as usual it’s on me to sort out what’s really happening after the first week of TSL action. Don’t forget that the results of Week 1 tend to have next to no effect on the outcomes of Championship Saturday. Teams could’ve just been missing players last week, teams could’ve been getting new players used to their system (most TSL teams don’t have mandatory two-a-day practice sessions like Bobby does for Eyes Downtown), etc. There’s enough proof out there that a bad Week 1 doesn’t mean it’s the end for your season already. But a good Week 1 can be the beginning of your Story of Immortality. Who had a good start? Who had a bad one? 

 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• Select showed up as a new team, got through some uh, challenging times during both of their games, and ended up 2-0 on the day with two 1-point victories over the GirthQuakes and Vaspian.

• Wet Bandits start off 2-0, and score a lot of points in doing so as they continue looking for the championship they haven’t won for over a calendar year now. 

• Vaspian is 1-1, but they were an inch away from starting 2-0 and being on top of D4. 

• Sticky Laces jumped out to a 2-0 record in D6 after a trying first season. 

• Day By Day (Just Joshing) continued their rising trend from last season with a blowout win. 

• Power Puffs lay the smack down on multiple candy asses, unleash new secret weapon on the league, start off 2-0. 

• The Malones easily win their first game in D2, whispers about why they were scared of D1 already beginning. 

• Wanderers do Wanderers things, start off 2-0 and seem poised to finally win that title. Of course if Week 1 decided the champions, they’d have 3 titles already. 

• Can’t Touch This is 1-1, but had a close, 5 point loss against Frodo in a Crossover game. 

• Freeballers show they have guts, move up to D1 without Sean (who is going #1 in TSL fantasy drafts on espn.com) and lose to the defending champs. But only by 8 points, proving they belong. (And they didn’t have Hogan throwing, but that may have helped.)

 

 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• The Jabronies are 1-1, beating TAST but couldn’t hang with the Wanderers. Bad Klecker (not to be confused with Good Klecker, the QB everyone likes) may need to sacrifice a potted plant once again.

• Practice Squad gets a great win to start the year, but also it was against 5 people. 

• Cunning Stunts kill a team. Typical. 

• Two Tuddies change QBs, get a win over fierce rival Not So Sticky, but they’ve played them enough that it isn’t impressive. 

• Spinelli’s Plumbing put up 38 points in their return, but also allowed 50. 

• D1/D2 Crossover Games have D1 at 2-0 so far this season, but results were split in that one game was very close and the other wasn’t. The Malones are coming. 

 

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

 

• TMA moves back to D6, promptly gets stomped. 

• Bullet Club is the first team to allow 100 points this session, dropping to 0-2 very quickly. 

• PWI makes a grand entrance to D3 with only 5 players, proving what everyone already knows: women just want to avoid being around Colorado Mike at all costs. 

• Cobblestone starts off 0-2, looks to be crumbling from the outside, Darryl Carr QB Superstar wants to knock down the roster and rebuild, people won’t let him. He can only do so much. 

• Jeremy Burr didn’t play last week, which isn’t good for anyone. 

• Eyes Downtown 0-1 again, under .500 for their last 10 games, considering changes at QB and DL. 

• Jeff Krol worries more about moving into his new mansion and parenting over updating the website poll, Topper rumored to return to power. 

 

 

And there you have it, that’s where the TSL stands currently after an exciting first week. What does Week 2 hold? Let’s find out. 

 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Sticky Bandits 37, Freeballers 29

Wet Bandits 39, Eyes Downtown 34

 

All of the Bandits got wins last week in D1 games, but more importantly they were close games, which bodes well for the future of the division. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wet Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - Frodo got their win back over CTT in a Crossover game last week as a nice tune-up, but it’s time to see if this version of the team is up to the test of the top D1 teams, or if they’re still a step behind. WET BANDITS BY 13

D1/D2 CROSSOVER CORNER!

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Frodo Swaggins 34, Can’t Touch This 29

Wet Bandits 57, Grey Hair Don’t Care 22

 

D1 is leading the season series 2-0. 

Frodo Swaggins lost to CTT last year in the crossover games, but snuck out a win this time around, as Can’t Touch This continues to show they can probably be a pretty good D1 team if they keep it up. The Wet Bandits beat up on a returning Grey Hair Don’t Care, playing their second game of the day, in the heat. Not the best way to start things off for them. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Sticky Bandits vs The Malones (+3) - YES YES YES, ABSOLUTELY YES. Not only do we get The Malones playing a D1 game, they get the DEFENDING CHAMPS RIGHT AWAY. After wondering for so long if The Malones can keep up with the best teams in the TSL, we get to see them go against the reigning champs. What fun! Game of the Day is right here. If you’re not playing at 10, you should be watching this game. THE MALONES BY 2

 

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+6) - So right after we get a Sticky - Malones matchup, we’re gifted a Garrett vs Jeremy Burr QB Battle? Thank you scheduling gods! I don’t love that UT didn’t play a game yet this season together, but they’re getting Frodo on the back half of a double header too? There’s rumors of this being the end for The Untouchaballs after this season, so expect them to go extra hard all season. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

Freeballers vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (EVEN) - In a matchup that once sounded like a ‘pretty okay’ D2 game that would happen at 3:00 on Field 4, we get a matchup SOAKING in intrigue and drama. The Freeballers won D2 last year with Dave Eickhoff throwing darts around the field and his offense (which was more than just “throw it high to Sean) was the change the FB needed to win it all. And then he left them for Grey Hair to return to the TSL after a season off. A rusty Hogan, Eickhoff knowing how to pick apart the defense of the team he just played for, and Garbacz there to make a crucial bad call that makes a Keita or two flip out? Stick this directly into my veins. FREEBALLERS BY 1

 

Eyes Downtown vs Scared Hitless (+10) - This game doesn’t really have the flair the others do, but don’t let that fool you, it’ll be a good game. Just two months ago these two met in a Crossover game that Eyes Downtown won 34-28, so Scared Hitless can absolutely hang here. I’m just not exactly sure if they’re going to. Eyes Downtown just feels like they NEED this win more than SH does. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

D2

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

The Malones 43, Scared Hitless 28

Can’t Touch This 36, Grey Hair Don’t Care 16

 

The Malones start off their D2 campaign the same way they rock every game, scoring over 40 points and winning comfortably. Can’t Touch This continues their winning ways that they ended their season on last year (save for winning the title, sure) with an easy win over GHDC. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This vs Mavericks (EVEN) - The Mavericks are becoming a little forgotten in the D2 world. Last season, they got off to a hot start, and played a bunch of games early, which may have hurt them come playoff time. Either way, the lack of games later in the season last year, plus missing Week 1, has given them a sort of “under the radar” status to some degree. Let’s remember that this is a VERY good team that has it all - Great Girls, Good-Great Guys, and arguably the best QB in the division. Last year, they had all the good vibes too. This year? I’m not feeling it just yet. A big win here should help with that, but for some reason I don’t feel it just yet. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

The Malones vs Grey Hair Don’t Care (+12) - I’m not entirely sure Grey Hair Don’t Care will be able to keep up with The Malones. That’s really all it comes down to. THE MALONES BY 17

D3

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers 28, Jabronies 24

Buffalo Vice 48, Bullet Club 31

Jabronies 34, Topper’s All Stars & Todd 12

Wanderers 53, Bullet Club 29

Practice Squad 44, Passing While Intoxicated 8

 

The Wanderers went 2-0 with wins over the Jabronies and Bullet Club, proving everyone right that they’re the team to beat this session. Speaking of Bullet Club, they fell to 0-2 on the season by also losing to Buffalo Vice. The Jabronies may have lost to the Wanderers but they did go 1-1 on the day with a win over TAST, and PWI got dunked on in their “Welcome to D3” game by B and The Lantzes (which is also the name of their secret underground jazz band). 

This Week’s Games:

 

Jabronies vs Bullet Club (+10) - The Jabronies lost to the Wanderers by 4, and Bullet Club lost to them by 24. That should be all you need to really know going into this game, but last year these two played a very close game that came down to the wire. I expect more of the same here, but BC is staring 0-3 in the face. JABRONIES BY 8

 

Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad (EVEN) - An early matchup between two teams trying to get to 2-0. Every D3 game has playoff tiebreaker implications, meaning every game is close, and I feel like these two teams will be battling to be above the 7 seed so they get a “bye” of sorts, which means this game is BIG. Vice dropped 48 last week, which shouldn’t be too surprising since they DID drop 66 in a playoff game last season. They’ve figured out the “D3” learning curve after some ups and downs. The Caitlyn Mason vs Renee Lantz battle should be a great one to watch too. I think we’re going to see some B magic this time around. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Straw Hats (EVEN) - This game was hard for the oddsmakers to give a line to because they didn’t know what to expect from Straw Hats yet, and PWI just had a brutal debut a week ago. But PWI has Buddy Lee, quietly one of the better QBs in the league, and I’ve seen enough from PWI over the years to know that when they have a bad week, they bounce back better than just about anyone.  PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 12

 

Let’s Get Reccked vs Straw Hats (+6) - LGR continues to be an enigma of sorts because you’re always left thinking “This team should be much better than its record ever shows.” They have the smarts and the talent to be great, although there’s some questions about the depth of the roster at times. Regardless, they’ll be a tough task for a Straw Hats team we know nothing about (but they can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to let me know who they are!). LETS GET RECCKED BY 13

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

ILF 26, Cobblestone 0

Select 28, GirthQuakes 27

Vaspian 31, Creekers 12

GirthQuakes 21, Cobblestone 0 (Forfeit)

Select 27, Vaspian 26

Cunning Stunts 52, The Herd 24

The Stunts and ILF both won their games pretty easily, as expected, as they move towards a D4 title game battle with each other. Cobblestone dropped to 0-2, but that was due to player issues unfortunately. The GirthQuakes end up 1-1, losing by a point to Select, and getting a forfeit win. Speaking of Select, they’re 2-0 after two victories, and they’ve gotten off to a (mostly) great start! Vaspian lost to Select by a point, but they beat up on the Creekers 31-12, perhaps signaling a Vaspian return to glory? We can only hope. 

This Week’s Games

 

ILF vs Select (+7) - Select has the good feelings from being 2-0, but it’s one thing to beat a brand new team and Vaspian, and another to play ILF, who has been at the top of the division for a little while now and with Buddy Lee at QB for them (giving ILF their first “actual” QB ever) it should be what they need to get over the hump and win it all. If Select is truly going to factor into the D4 title picture, a win (or at least a close loss) is needed here. Not sure they’re going to get it. ILF BY 13

 

Cunning Stunts vs Creekers (+8) - Stop me if you’ve heard this before. The Cunning Stunts easily put up 50+ points after adding another top flight female (this time it’s Maddie Norton) to the squad. It’s still weird that the Stunts haven’t won D4 yet, Matty’s Angels would’ve done it twice by now. It’s still par for the course for the Stunts, but for the Creekers I’m not so sure. A 19 point loss to Vaspian is a bit surprising (I’m going to assume they were missing people), and a game against the Stunts isn’t a way to stop the bleeding. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20

 

ILF vs The Herd (+14) - The schedule makers didn’t do The Herd any favors, giving them the best two teams in the league right out of the gate. On the other hand, they’ll get the hard ones out of the way, learn from these two games, and be able to apply those lessons to the “weaker” teams they have left on the schedule. At least, in theory anyway. ILF BY 17

 

Cunning Stunts vs Vaspian (+10) - Great start for Vaspian, as I’ve said ten times now. I’d like to see them keep it rolling, but the Stunts are just built different….. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

Vaspian vs The Herd (+10) - ….but The Herd is not. Another doubleheader for Vaspian, another 1-1 week. VASPIAN BY 10

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

PowerPuff Girls 44, Come From Behind 26

PowerPuff Girls 50, Spinelli’s Plumbing 38

Two Tuddies 23, Not So Sticky 18

 

The PowerPuff Girls have very, very clearly planted their flag and let the world know that they’re coming for that D5 title. They beat perennial contender Come From Behind rather easily, and then they beat former D5 champions Spinelli’s as well. That’s a GREAT start for the Girls. The Two Tuddies started off on the right foot with their new look roster, getting a win over Not So Sticky. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Stir The Sauce vs Pit Harade (+8) - Stir The Sauce had a really good first season last spring which saw them stay close in most games and then upset GUCCI in the playoffs as well. They fell short of winning the title by 4 points against THK, so they’re well positioned to have a really good season. They get a good start to the season playing Pit Harade, who came up from D6 despite not winning the championship. They were 12-5 the last two seasons though, so it kind of makes sense to move up. QB Dave Walter will have his hands full in PH’s first D5 game. STIR THE SAUCE BY 15

 

Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing (+7) - This could be a high scoring affair if everything goes right. Both teams are looking to bounce back after beatings by the PPGs, so it will be quite interesting to see who does a better job of it. It’ll be weird seeing CFB at 0-2. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 8

 

Not So Sticky vs Pit Harade (+8) - Not So Sticky looks to get back to some winning ways after last week, and getting the brand new D5 team on the back end of a double header seems to be the way to do it. This should be a fun game, but look for NSS to exploit PH as they’re learning the D5 game. NOT SO STICKY BY 13

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Day By Day 44, TMA 7

Sticky Laces 19, Dogg Pound 17

Sticky Laces 28, Balls Deep 18

Sausage McMuffins 46, Purple Nurples 29

Day By Day gets a huge win over TMA to start the season off right. Sticky Laces is 2-0 after a 2 point win over Dogg Pound (these teams always play close, good games), and then they beat Balls Deep as well. Lastly, The McMuffins dropped 46 on the Purple Nurples. Not sure if that’s the result of the McMuffin offense being really good again, or the Nurples’ Defense being really not so good again. Time will tell. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Day By Day vs Dogg Pound (+7) - The DPs were close yet again last week, but couldn’t quite get there. After going through the QB carousel last year, here’s hoping they’ve settled on one and they can continue to improve Week By Week. DBD, on the other side of the field, has really figured it out ever since about Week 5 last spring, and the statement win last week is a sign of things to come. While both of these teams started out at the same time, one of them is a little further along with their development. DAY BY DAY BY 11

 

Sausage McMuffins vs TMA (+10) - SMM finds themselves in an all too familiar position of D6 title contenders who can score, usually, but something always creeps up and ruins the season for them. While this team likes having fun (as it is full of good people), I’m thinking this is the season they need to go for everyone’s throats and have a bit of an edge to them. They get a good candidate to do that in TMA, who didn’t quite get the “Welcome Back to D6!” respect they maybe should’ve gotten. Dorene mentioned on the TSL podcast (Listen on Spotify!) they were short handed, so let’s hope that that was just a blip on the radar. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Balls Deep (+7) - I don’t know who’s throwing for BK, and as always I’m hoping it's Light Red Hoodie Guy. Unless Alex found a way to play, which would be great for BK. The TSL’s version of “When is it finally going to be their time??” got a gift this offseason when Pit Harade and Back That Pass Up left the division, which means they have the best chance to win they’ve had in a while. Balls Deep is one of the contenders to take them down, and BD DID beat them last season, but I think that was a fluke. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 14

 

Fall Blitzkrieg vs Purple Nurples (+10) - Same as above for BK, the Nurples COULD represent a D6 challenger, as they’ve been a tough D6 team for a couple of seasons before last spring, where the wheels fell off for some reason, and they couldn’t even cover the “Shady Pines Retirement Home All Stars” in a scrimmage game in July, losing 58-14. (In their defense, Edith Granderson is the greatest 77 year old female football player of all time. She’s slippery.) It’s hard to say if they figured it out yet, but this will be a good test. FALL BLITZKRIEG BY 19

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Who’s going to win Breakfast Club? Breakfast Club starts this week for the Fall season, and for the most part the sign ups were encouraging! We have 3 new captains this season - Sydney from Two Tuddies, Carly from Jabronies (teaming up with Jenna), and Rylee from Sticky Bandits. They join Dorene, Dri, and Hall of Fame Breakfast Club Captain Steph in battle this year. The rosters all look really, really even this time around, but my “preseason” prediction is that we’ll be seeing All Ryled Up losing in the finals to Dri Girls 1 Cup. 

• WILL JOEY (OR B) GIVE B’S BROTHER A RIDE TO THE FIELDS SO HE CAN BLESS US WITH HIS PRESENCE? I don’t know the answer to this, but I know B reads this article every week, so he better get his brother to the fields. Still not sure Joey Batts can read at all. 

 

 

 

• Why was Field 5 so rough to play on? What’s the deal with it? As stated last week, Field 5 is a brand new field that we’ve never played on before. All of the other fields have had years upon years of TSL history played upon them, which over time has led to everyone unearthing random rocks, etc and clearing them away. The more we play on F5, the better it’ll be. 

 

 

 

• What forms of TSL Media are there? I’m new to the league and there’s a LOT going on! Well, I’ve said it before but I’ll get into it again. Every week you can read The Sentinel, usually on Mondays. On Thursdays the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee puts out their article. I’m The Godfather, and I’ve been bringing you this article on Fridays for well over a decade now. There’s also the TSL podcast that comes out on Tuesday or Wednesday (usually) to listen to. There’s also “The Roost”, which some other members of the league record and it's lighthearted and funny most of the time, it's a bit of a different vibe for sure. I think they come out with an episode near the end of the week. Either way, you can check the website nearly every day for more TSL content. 

 

 

 

• If a D2 team wins all of their D1 crossover games and look to be a legit D1 title contender, can they choose to be in the D1 playoffs instead? I think Jeff Krol’s brain would explode, but how fun would it be if, say, The Malones win all of their crossover games, and challenge whoever ends up in 5th place in D1 to a game that determines who plays for what title? I think this should be an option of some sort. How interesting would that be? 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Sticky Bandits vs The Malones

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Practice Squad

• 12:00 - ILF vs Select

• 1:00 - Come From Behind vs Spinelli’s Plumbing 

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Grey Hair Don’t Care

• 3:00 - The Herd vs Vaspian

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• All Ryled Up 37, Carlyac Arrest 24

• Syd On My Face 31, D’z Nuts 30

• Dri Girls 1 Cup 38, Steph Infection 30

 

 

 

• Using my Weather Channel App here in Des Moines, Iowa, it says that the Buffalo weather for Saturday is looking to be 78 degrees, but there may be some rain. That’s a bummer. 

 

 

 

• I know it’s really early to even think about the TSL Banquet and the awards that come with it, but good luck to the committee for trying to pick a D2 QB of the Year. Jordan Lawson vs Andy Strug vs Dave Eickhoff vs Ryan Dougherty vs Jeremy Burr is going to be one of the absolute hardest awards to ever decide. That’s a LOT of talent. 

 

 

 

• I think Select is really going to stick around at the top of the D4 standings. 

 

 

 

• Thanks again to all of you who email me each week about the games and what’s going on with your team. But there’s still a bunch of teams I don’t know about! Email me ( This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ) and say hi! You don’t have to be a captain to email me, just do it anyway. I want to get as many people noticed as possible. 

 

 

 

• I’m sure that this week is going to have some weird results because it’s Labor Day weekend. 

 

 

 

• I know Garrett has needed some help finding a ref or two already this year, so if you’re willing to referee to help out (and make $30 a game), reach out to him, or Jeff Krol, ASAP. Every little bit helps. 

 

 

 

• Three teams that already “need a win” just to get some confidence going: Bullet Club, Eyes Downtown, TMA. I know it’s early in the season, but based on how things have been going, it’ll do all of these teams some good. 

 

 

 

• I’m pretty sure the only reason D3 has all 10 teams make the playoffs is because Jeff Krol is being nice to Topper and Joe K to make sure their teams make it. 

 

 

-GF OUT

CHAMPIONSHIP THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 28 June 2024 14:54

Published: Friday, 28 June 2024 14:54

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2917

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe we’ve arrived to the final chapter of the TSL Spring 2024 season. The Race For Social Co-Ed is nearing its conclusion, and on Saturday, June 29th in the Year of Our Lord 2024 7 of the 24 surviving TSL teams will be crowned champions, and will forever live on in our hearts and minds. Core memories are going to be made for many people this weekend, but only a few of you will be the ones making good ones. 

 

Playoff Saturday lived up to the hype once again, as we had a little bit of everything. We had expected blowouts (The Malones 49, Bullet Club 8), and unexpected blowouts (Blitzkrieg 44, Sausage McMuffins 6), we had unexpected high scoring affairs (Buffalo Vice 66, Keller Whales 49), we had big comebacks (The Untouchaballs being down 20 points to Puckett before winning 42-36), we had upsets galore (lower seeded teams won 7 of the 21 games last week, with two #2 seeds going down), we even had forfeits if that’s your thing. The only thing we didn’t have was a #1 seed losing, and when you think of the first round struggles of Cunning Stunts and GUCCI, that’s a little more impressive than it sounds. 

 

Playoff Saturday taught us that once again, we know nothing. Anything can happen in the TSL when the greatest in the world of Social Co-Ed Football square off. Which is why I’ve contacted the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee to once again give me their collective insights on the games for Championship Saturday, just to see how wrong they’re going to be. On the plus side, you get two sets of predictions for what should be a crazy day in TSL history. It usually is. 

GF: Hey there TSLQBPRC. I figured I’d bother you guys once again for Championship Saturday since I know you’re not actually doing any work for the league this week over there with your “we take the last week off” nonsense. There should be a playoff QB rankings, by the way. I’ll get that started for you: 

 

1. Playoff B. 
2. Everyone else. 

 

But besides that, yet again TSL Playoff Saturday has once again proved to be one of the most exciting sports days in existence. Just look at the facts: we had 7 lower seeds pull off upsets, and from what I was told we were close to a couple of others as well. What really stood out to you guys last week? 

 

TSLQBPRC: I’m sorry, but did you not see all the charts and graphs in our last article? We NEED the last weeks off after compiling all of that. But you’re right, playoff QB ranking is easy when it’s B and then everyone else. Why can’t he summon that kind of power for the regular season??

 

So besides GUCCI winning a playoff game after a couple seasons of disappointing early exits, the biggest thing that stood out to me was the D3 race, which had three of those seven upsets you mentioned. The four teams left in D3 have point differentials on the season of -50 (practice squad), -37 (Buffalo Vice), -35 (let’s get Reccked), and +165 (the Malones). One of those things is not like the other. Is it a foregone conclusion that the Malones are winning D3?

 

GF: It’s felt that way for about a month now, hasn’t it? But when we dive into it, they WILL have to get through Playoff B, and then go against either a Vice squad that just dropped 66 points against D3’s #1 defense in the Keller Whales, or they get a Let’s Get Reccked squad that, if you recall, was the “Week 1 D3 champion” this season because their roster was “way too good”. LGR struggled all season with attendance and injuries, but they’re getting healthy and peaking at the right time. It isn’t inconceivable that LGR gives The Malones a run. Either way, it’s still fun to see that all of the #1 seeds survived, feels like a rarity these days. You mentioned GUCCI, but let’s not forget the Cunning Stunts getting out of the first round unscathed. The TSL has been waiting for the ladies to get that title, this might be their year. Can you believe that arguably the best regular season D4 team of the last 10 seasons combined has NEVER won a D4 title? Also, with the way the PowerPuff Girls have been playing, how likely do you feel it is that we’ll see TWO gender teams walk out of Championship Saturday with titles? 

 

TSLQBPRC: We could NOT believe that the Stunts have never won the D4 championship before.  In fact, we looked it up, convinced that you were wrong, but it’s confirmed: their last championship was D5 all the way back in Spring 2019.  They’ve been DOMINANT since then, but somehow haven’t sealed the deal in the playoffs.  We feel like their odds of winning this year are incredibly high… but PowerPuff Girls will have a harder road through D5.  Their biggest advantage (every TD is worth 8!) also applies to our quasi-gender team GUCCI, and when they played Travis Henry’s Kids earlier this season, they got destroyed.  Like all gender teams, they’re vulnerable to tall, high jumping male athletes like Pete Walbrandt… and also Dan The Wrestler from Stir the Sauce.  Throw in the fact that Kyle Conniff is (allegedly) out this week, and we’re not sure we love PowerPuff Girls’ chances of joining the Stunts in immortality.  But stranger things have happened.  Which division do we expect to see the biggest shocker of a champion?

 

GF: No Kyle? Who’s the backup QB for the PowerPuff Girls then? Is it just Maddie? In terms of which division would we expect to see the biggest shocker of a champion, I think that answer lies right where we’ve been focused: D5. GUCCI has finished #1 in the division before, they’ve always been one of the top teams, but they’ve always found a way to be thwarted in the playoffs. So GUCCI actually winning can give mild shock vibes, Stir The Sauce is a new team with a middle of the road Offense and Defense, we already mentioned the Powerpuff Girls won’t have their regular QB, and then there’s THK, where “Playoff Langley” might be the scientific explanation for why “Playoff B” exists. “For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction”. I know, this has to deal with motion, but it stands to reason that for Playoff B to have been born, the opposite had to also exist…and its playoff Langley. THK may have also won the award for “most complained about team this season” in terms of division placement, but realistically, they’ve struggled since leaving D6, so even them winning could be considered a shock. The other divisions don’t have that “shocking” winner we’d expect. (We don’t expect The Malones to lose, so that would be a complete and utter UNEXPECTED win for anyone else). D1 has it’s Top 2 remaining, D2 basically had the whole division with the same record to end the season, D4 has had a pretty clear cut Top 3 for a while, and D6 has it’s top three teams from the regular season (Pit Harade, Blitzkrieg, Back That Pass Up) still alive, so we don’t expect a Just Joshing feel good storybook win, qualifies as unexpected. D5 is the only division where whenever you hear who won the title, you can say to yourself “wow, they actually did it” for any team. Did you have someone else in mind? 

 

TSLQBPRC: Cody Stumpf is the backup QB for PowerPuff Girls, and they beat Tuddies earlier this season 44-7 with him playing.  So he’s either pretty decent, or the Tud Buds are just that bad.  But yeah, D5 is the division where someone’s going to overcome some adversity to win a title that usually eludes them.  Just Joshing in D6 is probably the most “shocking” team that could win another division right now outside of D3, and we just don’t see that happening.  Speaking of D3, does Practice Squad move BACK to D2 if they go on a run and win it all again?  The League needs to invent a D2 ½ for these guys.

 

GF: Well, the hottest TSL topic is divisional realignment isn’t it? If there ends up being a 6-8 team “new” D1, I think it’s fair to say Practice Squad could very easily slide up into the “new” D2 with 2-3 other current D3 teams anyway. But all of THAT sort of fun is for the offseason, it’s just fun to fantasize about. We’ll get going on the games this week in a second, is there anything else you’d like to add, touch on, or ask?

 

TSLQBPRC: Playoffs aside, where he was a disappointing no-show… It was cool having Topper back in the League this session.  Podcasts, at the bar, trying to throw a football (and failing), playing defense because he couldn’t QB anymore (and succeeding), it was amazing to have him back again this session.  Now we just need to talk him into doing Breakfast Club next session (if there IS a Breakfast Club in the Fall, which I’m told is still TBD?).  That being said, let’s talk about the games.

 

GF: That’s what everyone is here for anyway, right?

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Eyes Uptown 49, #4 Frodo Swaggins 14

#2 Sticky Bandits 37, #3 Eyes Downtown 26

 

The Story: The Top 2 seeds in D1 move on to the championship. Eyes Uptown look to get their title back, while Sticky looks to finally capture their first D1 title. 

 

#1 Eyes Uptown (6-2) vs #2 Sticky Bandits (5-3)

 

Points For: EU 36.50 (1st), Sticky 29.50 (3rd))

Points Against: EU 24.88 (1st), Sticky 27.13 (2nd)

TSL Rank: EU 5th, Sticky 18th

Past Games: 28-26 SB, 42-37 EU

Line: Eyes Uptown (-3)

GF: A classic D1 matchup between the top two seeds in the regular season. You guys are the special guests, so you can make your prediction first. 

 

TSLQBPRC: It turned into a battle of the top two seeds in the end, but remember just a few months back, we were all predicting an inevitable Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown rematch, and then Eyes Downtown just sort of collapsed.  Maybe they’ll do a 30 for 30 documentary on that some day, but they just did not seem like the team that was so dominant last Fall.  Either way, they’re out and the Sticky Bandits are in.  Do the Bandits have a chance?  Sure.  They’re underdogs, definitely, but they’ve played two close games against Eyes Uptown already this season, splitting the series.  Official prediction?  It should be Eyes Uptown winning their fourth championship in the last five seasons.  But it’ll come down to the last drive.  EYES UPTOWN BY 3.

 

GF: The collapse of Eyes Downtown (if only for a season) wasn’t on my TSL Bingo Board, that’s for sure. Sticky deserves a ton of credit, as they consistently shore up some holes in their roster every season. It’s been said a ton, but getting Maggie to rush is still a big win. Sticky deserves a D1 title, and I know they’ll get one someday, but this doesn’t feel like the time. Eyes Uptown has slightly better talent and have been playing slightly better than anyone else because of it. Plus Joey Batts might be playing some of the best football of his career. It all adds up to one thing: EYES UPTOWN BY 6.

 

 

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#3 The Untouchaballs 42, #6 Puckett All-Stars 36

#5 Scared Hitless 30, #4 Can’t Touch This 28

 

The Story: The Untouchaballs continue to defend their title, Scared Hitless’ playoff magic continues, is there rust from having a bye week? Will it affect the Mavericks and Freeballers?

 

#1 Mavericks (5-2-1) vs #5 Scared Hitless (4-4)

 

Points For: Mavericks 39.63 (1st), SH 33.75 (2nd)

Points Against: Mavericks 32.13 (3rd), SH 35.25 (5th)

TSL Rank: Mavericks 9th, SH 32nd

Past Games: 56-38 Mavericks

Line: Mavericks (-8)

 

GF: Scared Hitless took a close one over a very hot CTT last week, as they continue their own little streak of doing some good things in the playoffs. As long as Dylan Day is on, there isn’t a team they can’t beat. This is a matchup of the top two scoring offenses in D2, and I expect a higher scoring affair. The Mavericks have been good all season, and they’ve helped out their once “not too good” defense this season a lot. Jordan Lawson seems to have found a new groove this time around, and I’m not entirely sure the Scared Hitless defense will get a stop. All the Mavericks will need is one stop to take this one. MAVERICKS BY 9

 

TSLQBPRC: D2 was so incredibly close this session as far as the final team records, and Scared Hitless was much better than what you’d expect from a fifth place team.  Having said that, the Mavericks were the one team that got any separation in the standings this season, they had the best record, they had the best point differential, and they beat a D1 team that we’re talking about potentially winning the Finals.  Dylan is great, and we’d love to pick a different team than you just to be contrary, but the Mavericks have too many pieces for Scared Hitless to solve.  MAVERICKS BY 12.

 

#2 Freeballers (4-3-1) vs #3 The Untouchaballs (4-3-1)

 

Points For: FB 28.88 (5th), UT 28.00 (6th)

Points Against: FB 28.63 (1st), UT 31.25 (2nd)

TSL Rank: FB 20th, UT 21st

Past Games: 30-16 FB

Line: EVEN

GF: We go from the Top 2 offenses in the division, to the Top 2 defenses in D2 (and the worst two offenses, weird). The Freeballers almost feel like the forgotten team in this division. Everyone else has had some sort of storyline, but the Freeballers just kept chugging along, stealing the bye as the #2 seed. Freeballers actually own a win over UT as well. But the other wins? Two against a Puckett team figuring it out and CTT when they were on that losing streak. I’m not sure they’re the 2nd best team in D2. Give me Big Game Burr when he turns it up in the playoffs. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 13

 

TSLQBPRC: Dammit.  We’re picking the same winner again.  The Untouchaballs just feel like they have a more solid foundation in our opinion.  They won the D2 title last session so there’s no “we can’t let this one slip away” pressure.  They beat Eyes Downtown a couple weeks ago in a game that Burr is (presumably) still bragging about.  They’re a dangerous team.  Freeballers, as you pointed out, have a less impressive resume, and they haven’t won a championship (D4) in three years.  Now having said that, we’re pretty sure they won that D4 championship with Sean on their team, and he will likely be back on Saturday after missing most of this season, so maybe that’ll be the difference maker for them.  But we don’t think one man will be enough.  THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: We’re both predicting a Mavericks vs Untouchaballs finals, and these two teams actually had an amazing regular season against each other.  Mavericks just DESTROYED them in their first meeting, and then they battled to a tie in the rematch.  Burr tends to play well when people doubt him (“we’re going to beat them by 40!”) and his spiteful willpower alone should be enough to make this a close one.  Will it be enough to beat the team they’ve failed to beat twice already?  You know what… we think it will.  THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 1

 

GF: This game is hard for me to pick a winner. It may even be the game of the day, which is saying something on Championship Saturday. Burr has been “hotter” in the second half of the season but that’s partially because the Mavs didn’t play as much. When it comes down to it, I look at the girls, and I just feel like the Mavericks have a slight advantage there. I’ve liked the Mavericks’ vibes all year, and I can’t stop imaging people emailing me about Mike Burke’s championship hugs. It’ll just make Burr play even better, but: MAVERICKS BY 6

 

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#8 Bullet Club 21, #9 Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 0 (Forfeit)

#1 The Malones 49, #8 Bullet Club 8

#7 Practice Squad 40, #2 Wanderers 31

#6 Buffalo Vice 66, #3 Keller Whales 49

#5 Let’s Get Reccked 45, #4 Jabronies 30

 

The Story: The Malones continued their torrid pace, and every other top team lost. 

 

#1 The Malones (8-0) vs #7 Practice Squad (3-5)

 

Points For: The Malones 52.13 (1st), PS 28.00 (7th)

Points Against: The Malones 31.50 (4th), PS 34.25 (8th)

TSL Rank: The Malones 1st, PS 38th

Past Games: 60-30 The Malones

Line: The Malones (-17)

GF: I’ve said it all along, The Malones ruined a very good D3 season by existing in it. They’ve just been incredibly dominant, and while the legend of Practice Squad and Playoff B grew stronger this season, this is where that ride ends. No reason to sugar coat this one: THE MALONES BY 14

 

TSLQBPRC: B thrives on people doubting him… so here’s one more group of people to tell him “it’s not happening man”.  The Malones are damn near unbeatable in this division, and although B’s “dialed up to an 11” intensity will definitely make the first half interesting, we expect the Malones to run away with it in the second half.  THE MALONES BY 18

 

#5 Let’s Get Reccked (3-5) vs #6 Buffalo Vice (3-5)

 

Points For: LGR 29.75 (5th), Vice 31.88 (4th)

Points Against: LGR 34.13 (7th), Vice 36.50 (9th)

TSL Rank: LGR 34th, Vice 35th

Past Games: 36-28 LGR

Line: Let’s Get Reccked (-3)

TSLQBPRC: How did Buffalo Vice put up SIXTY SIX points last week?? We knew they were dangerous when they were clicking, but that still feels… unexpected.  That being said, the rumor mill says that Buffalo Vice will be missing Andy Clark this week, and if that’s true, then we HAVE to imagine that a veteran team like Let’s Get Reccked will find a way to get some stops on defense.  We’ll take Team Recckio for a trip to the D3 Finals.  LET’S GET RECCKED BY 6

 

GF: Is this a boring article when we’re so incredibly aligned? Maybe. But that’s just how things are shaking out. LGR was all over the place in terms of health and attendance but everyone knows how good they can be at full power. Vice deserves all the credit in the world for what they did last week, but it seems like it was the cherry on top of a season they knew wasn’t going much further after the win. Not having your QB on Championship Saturday isn’t ideal, and while Vice will fight, it’s not going to be nearly enough. LETS GET RECCKED BY 14. 

 

Finals Predictions

 

GF: The Malones vs LGR. The Malones won 62-29 a few weeks ago, but again that was without some of LGR’s more important players. I want so desperately to choose Let’s Get Reccked to win this game, it feels like the hottest upset of the day. One that we’ll talk about forever. But The Malones are too fast, too furious, and they’re a team of destiny. THE MALONES BY 10

 

TSLQBPRC: If anyone can beat the Malones, it might be Let’s Get Reccked.  Veteran savvy, athleticism, size, speed.  They have a chance, sure. But we can’t pick against the undefeated team that’s smoking everyone.  THE MALONES BY 13

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#9 Cobblestone 39, #8 The Roaring 20s 8

#1 Cunning Stunts 43, #9 Cobblestone 24

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 34, #7 Vaspian 16

#3 Passing While Intoxicated 55, #6 Reset Warriors 26

#4 Tater Tots 52, #5 Not So Sticky 20

 

The Story: The Top 4 teams in the division all advance, it’s the Stunts’ title to lose. 

 

#1 Cunning Stunts (8-0) vs #4 Tater Tots (4-4)

 

Points For: CS 46.50 (1st), TT 34.38 (3rd)

Points Against: CS 26.63 (2nd), TT 27.63 (5th)

TSL Rank: CS 2nd, TT 25th

Past Games: 54-30 CS

Line: Cunning Stunts (-13)

TSLQBPRC: Do we dare to pick against B TWICE in the same playoff day?  It feels like we’re tempting fate here… but… Cunning Stunts is just a MUCH stronger team than Tater Tots.  Better record, better offense, better defense, better QB (not a long list of QBs who are better than B… but Joey Batts is on that list).  The score was 54-30 when they played each other in the regular season.  Let’s say this one will be closer… but not THAT much closer.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

 

GF: We’ve been here before. The Stunts are always better than whoever they’re playing and then before you know it, POOF, there’s a lot of sad ladies heading to the bar earlier than expected. This one feels different though, simply because they’re blowing out just about everyone. The defense is better than it’s been in the longest time. The Tots did wonders in D4, and performed much better than expected. I don’t think they should qualify as “just happy to be here”, but they did struggle with the Top 3 teams in D4. There’s a clear line between the contenders and pretenders here, and the Tots are justttt on the outside looking in. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-2) vs #3 Passing While Intoxicated (6-2)

 

Points For: ILF 32.13 (4th), PWI 36.63 (2nd)

Points Against: ILF 26.38 (1st), PWI 27.13 (3rd)

TSL Rank: ILF 4th, PWI 6th

Past Games: 48-47 ILF

Line: EVEN

GF: These two teams put on an absolute banger this year, with ILF squeaking by PWI 48-47. While both teams lost to the Stunts, ILF also lost to the Creekers, and barely snuck by Reset Warriors. Vaspian gave them trouble two weeks ago too. PWI, meanwhile, has a better offense led by the newly crowned “TD Tori”, and Alex Lee continues to shine at QB. PWI has been handling business for weeks, and haven’t really played a close one. They’re the hotter team, and they’re firing on all cylinders. ILF has the ability to really lay an egg here. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 3

 

TSLQBPRC: We couldn’t have said it any better.  It’s odd that it feels like ILF doesn’t have as much momentum going into this game when they’ve won five in a row themselves.  But they almost lost games against Vaspian and Reset Warriors, and they haven’t had a real “signature win” since their game against PWI back in Week Three.  It should be close like last time, but our prediction is it should be lower scoring than last time, with a different result.  PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

 

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: PWI has had success all season scoring to TD Tori and really flexing their girl muscle.  Cunning Stunts do that better.  Buddy Lee has been spectacular in moving his team down the field week after week.  Joey Batts does that even better.  If we’re going to pick an upset here, we would need some kind of plausible reason to choose PWI, and the only one we can think of is “the Stunts have lost a lot of games like this that they SHOULD have won”.  But we’re not picking PWI just because we expect the Stunts to choke.  They’ve all played in so many big games at this point, the pressure just can’t mean as much to them anymore (we think).  And the Stunts are the better team.  They’re taking home the D4 championship.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 9

 

GF: Stunts. PWI. It all comes down to this. The Stunts took a 43-20 win in the last meeting these two had. It wasn’t very close. But, that was back on May 11th. And it was at 2:00, so the chances that “Buddy Buckets” was on the field are very high. And no, that’s not a basketball name. Anyone who’s seen Alex throw later in the day knows he’s just not as good. His team knows this and will most likely lock him in a cage to keep him from the bar before this one. The Stunts are great, but the one thing you need to beat them are having “girl muscle” to flex. And PWI has been running so well because they lean on their talented ladies. They have the ability to pull the upset, and they’ve pulled off upsets like this before. PWI is a great team, let the buckets flow. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 GUCCI 32, #8 Two Tuddies 12

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids, #7 TMA 0 (Forfeit)

#6 Stir The Sauce 42, #3 Come From Behind 22

#4 Powerpuff Girls 37, #5 Not So Sticky 20

 

The Story: Stir The Sauce crashes the party unexpectedly, GUCCI gets a win closer to that title, but Travis Henry’s Kids is back on track, and the Powerpuffs could shake things up.

 

#1 GUCCI (7-0-1) vs #6 Stir The Sauce (3-5)

 

Points For: GUCCI 31.00 (3rd), STS 29.75 (5th)

Points Against: GUCCI 15.50 (1st), STS 28.25 (6th)

TSL Rank: GUCCI 3rd, STS 36th

Past Games: 26-24 GUCCI

Line:  GUCCI (-10)

GF: In one corner, we have an undefeated, hyper talented, ready to get the monkey off their back team in GUCCI. In the other, we have a very spry STS that locked Come From Behind down. This all adds up to an interesting contest. GUCCI has played a ton of close games this season, including a 26-24 win over STS in Week 1. Kelly Kane knows how to win, and this team has played so long together that everyone knows their role. But, other than big wins against TMA, the Tuddies, and a shorthanded THK, have they really been that dominant? STS lost to GUCCI by 2, NSS by 1, and THK by 3. They’re better than your average 6 seed. They won a lot of games as underdogs when they were the Woodpeckers, and I think they’re going to give GUCCI a true run for their money here. STIR THE SAUCE BY 3. 

 

TSLQBPRC: Stir the Sauce went 3-5.  GUCCI went 7-0-1.  Stir the Sauce was +12 on the season.  GUCCI was +124.  We give Sauce a lot of credit for playing close games against the top teams in D5, and Come From Behind last week was a huge playoff win.  But we’re not going to over-think this one.  Stir the Sauce lost five games this session.  GUCCI has lost none.  GUCCI BY 4.

 

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids (5-3) vs #4 Powerpuff Girls (5-3)

 

Points For: THK 31.00 (3rd), PPG 35.50 (1st)

Points Against: THK 28.25 (5th), PPG 26.63 (4th)

TSL Rank: THK 11th, PPG 16th

Past Games: 43-16 THK, 33-24 PPG

Line: Travis Henry’s Kids (-3)

TSLQBPRC: When these two teams met in the regular season, THK just mauled the PowerPuff Girls.  It was not a close game.  There are reasons to believe that PowerPuff Girls is a vastly improved team since that initial game.  They’ve really come together and had some dominant performances since then, so we don’t expect the same one-sided affair this go around.  And yet… THK still have Pete, and they haven’t lost a game with him yet all season.  If you’re looking for reasons to bet against Langley, it’s not a HORRIBLE argument to say that he fell apart without Pete this season, and Pete hasn’t played football in like a month.  But Cody Stumpf has barely played QB at ALL for the PowerPuff Girls this session, and it’s harder for a QB to come in cold than it is a wide receiver.  TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 5.

 

GF: I came into today really telling myself we could have two gender team champions this session, but now I’m sitting here predicting that we’re not going to have any. The committee just spilled it out for everyone, the PPG having a backup QB really stinks (even if he doesn’t have any other games this weekend) just in terms of the continuity the Girls were having with Kyle as they started humming. But then again, Cody can cover Pete, right? While the girls would still have to worry about Aaron, there’s a path to victory there. And what if Cody doesn’t even throw, and Maddie throws to him? That might worry THK and mess up their defense. Hmm. At the end of the day though, that’s a lot of “new things” to be trying out in a big time playoff game. The Power Puff Girls will win a championship. It just won’t be this season. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 8

 

Finals Predictions

 

GF: THK vs Stir The Sauce. While I used STS’ 3 point loss as a reason to help them beat GUCCI, I sort of forgot that THK only had 5 people that game. Yikes. THK is back in their villian era, and we all forgot about that after the “Peteless” month that saw them lose a few games. THK was dominant when the season started, and they’ll be dominant again this Saturday at full strength. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10

 

TSLQBPRC:THK vs GUCCI.  The knock on both teams is that they’ve both choked in the playoffs in the past, and none of them have ever won a championship in the TSL.  But that sort of cancels out here if both teams make the Finals (which we’re saying they will) and SOMEONE has to win.  GUCCI absolutely thrilled THK a few weeks ago, but two things will be different this time around.  1) Langley will have Pete to throw to.  2) Langley will play with confidence knowing he has Pete to throw to.  This should be a MUCH better game than their last encounter, and it feels like a coin flip to us.  Our gut says GUCCI BY 1

 

D6 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#8 Sticky Laces 25, #9 Dogg Pound 20

#1 Pit Harade 34, #8 Sticky Laces 6

#7 Just Joshing 36, #2 Balls Deep 32

#3 Back That Pass Up 56, #6 Mighty Drunks 34

#4 Blitzkrieg 44, #5 Sausage McMuffins 6

 

The Story: Just Joshing gets a huge win, their reward is being in the final 4 with the three best teams in the division, all of whom should be considering going up to D5 regardless of the outcome. 

 

#1 Pit Harade (6-2) vs #7 Just Joshing (3-5)

 

Points For: PH 27.75 (4th), JJ 23.00 (6th)

Points Against: PH 18.63 (1st), JJ 26.75 (7th)

TSL Rank: PH 7th, JJ 37th

Past Games: 15-6 PH

Line: Pit Harade (-8)

TSLQBPRC:  Just Joshing has been a great story this season.  They entered the League as almost completely new players, and they struggled.  And they learned.  And somewhere along the way, they became a team capable of winning games.  Since Week Two, they’ve only lost one game (vs Back That Pass Up) by more than 6 points.  They’re young, they’re competitive, and we think they’re going to win a championship in the TSL.  But to quote the Godfather from earlier, “it just won’t be this season”.  PIT HARADE BY 9

 

GF: Just Joshing made me look brilliant last week, as I picked them to pull off the upset. They’ve played a lot of close games, including a 15-6 loss to Pit Harade. PH has had about 4 QBs start for them this season (Joe K, Dave Walter, MVP Ray, and Other Guy) which shouldn’t be a recipe for success, but it’s worked. Tall Bearded Guy and Sam P do everything for them on their #1 ranked Defense, and they should be able to contain the JJ offense pretty well. PIT HARADE BY 7

 

#3 Back That Pass Up (5-3) vs #4 Blitzkrieg (5-3)

 

Points For: BTPU 28.25 (3rd), BK 30.50 (2nd)

Points Against: BTPU 27.25 (8th), BK 20.75 (2nd)

TSL Rank: BTPU 12th, BK 14th

Past Games: 30-26 BTPU

Line: EVEN

GF: Absolute mayhem. That’s what this game is going to be. BTPU snuck by BK 30-26 a few weeks ago in a hell of a game. D6 playing early is an advantage for BTPU (see: “Buddy Buckets” at QB) and the way that Alex D’s squad has performed all season has to make them feel confident in going home champions. Blitzkrieg had pretty much run D6 all season before a pair of late season losses (to BTPU and PH) dropped them to the 4 seed and much harder path to the title that's eluded them for what feels like 10 years. Alex is throwing well, and when all of the ladies are there, look out. BK is 2nd in offense and 2nd in defense. They’re the most complete team remaining in D6. BLITZKRIEG BY 6

 

TSLQBPRC: With respect to a possible THK vs GUCCI Finals, there is no game we would feel less confident about predicting this week than Blitzkrieg vs Back That Pass Up.  Blitzkrieg is the better team on paper.  They were one of the “favorites” in our playoff preview last week based on their impressive point differentials, whereas Back That Pass Up was a middling contender.  But it’s tough to pick against Buddy Lee, you know?? Look: we’re “numbers” people at the end of the day, we have to follow the math, and the math says Back That Pass Up will fall just short.  BLITZKRIEG BY 2

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: Pit Harade vs Blitzkrieg.  These teams are even enough by the numbers, but how will they each be feeling coming out of their semi-finals games?  Pit Harade is playing the #7 seed, and they’re expecting to cruise to a win.  Blitzkrieg will have just survived a bloodbath against Back That Pass Up, and it will be tough for them to play at peak energy levels for two straight hours.  The veteran calmness favors Pit Harade here, so that’s our choice.  PIT HARADE BY 5

GF: Pit Harade vs Blitzkrieg. Arguably the two best teams from the regular season collide here. These two teams are very close to each other. They both have great QB play. They both have stud males. They both have excellent females. They both have experience on their side. At the end of the day, while PH has a 31-18 win against BK this season, it just finally feels like it’s BKs year. They have a slightly deeper roster overall and someone is going to make the play that makes all the difference. BLITZKRIEG BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Which team are you most surprised was eliminated last week?

 

TSLQBPRC: Wanderers is the easy answer.  “Playoff B” aside, I think we were all expecting a Malones vs Wanderers Finals in D3.  And it’s not nearly as shocking an upset, because Scared Hitless had almost the same record, but it does feel weird that Can’t Touch This are already done for the year given how hot they were finishing the regular season.

 

GF: Can I say Steph Infection in Breakfast Club? It feels weird that they aren’t batting for the BC title this week. Since that’s probably not what you were going for, I’ll say Come From Behind. They were nothing short of electric to end the season, and all of a sudden the power is out. Also, the Keller Whales. A Championship Saturday without the Kellers just feels weird. 

 

 

• What is your Breakfast Club Prediction? 

 

GF: I think we have two great teams remaining and both deserve to be champions. But there’s just something about Dri’s Company that works for me, so I’m going with Dri’s Company 38, Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 34.

 

TSLQBPRC: It’s been years since a Bobby vs Frank Finals, so it’s pretty incredible that in 2024 we’re being treated to another.  Let’s be clear: Bobby is the better QB of the two.  But there’s something about Frank that’s just a perfect fit for the spirit of Breakfast Club.  We’ll say Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 38, Dri’s Company 31

 

 

• Which team do you most WANT to win this week, even if you think they won’t?

 

TSLPRC: Practice Squad or Tater Tots.  Either of the “B Teams”.  We just want to see B and his “don’t you feel like an idiot for not believing in us??” glare at the fields on Saturday.

 

GF: Gender teams. Cunning Stunts and the Powerpuff Girls. The league is a better place when the gender teams are winning. Slight nod to The Untouchaballs, just to set up D1 for the Fall.

 

 

• What prediction do you immediately look back at and think you got wrong?

 

GF: D5 is just wild. Even though I have a THK - STS final, I really think we could also see a GUCCI - PPG final as well. That’d be pretty awesome. 

 

TSLQBPRC: All of them except the Malones.  Look, all our picks “make sense” to us, but this is the TSL and anything can happen.  We wouldn’t be shocked to see EVERYTHING go the other way.  But if we have to choose one, we’ll say D2.  Everyone is so good in that division, there isn’t a single champion that we’d look at and say “wow, we can’t believe it was them”.

 

 

• Rank the #1 seeds in terms of most confident to least confident you are in them winning the title. 

 

GF: The Malones, Mavericks, Pit Harade, Eyes Uptown, GUCCI, Cunning Stunts.

 

TSLQBPRC: The Malones (as if it would be anyone else), Cunning Stunts, Eyes Uptown, Mavericks, Pit Harade, GUCCI.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

• Games of the Day: All of them. It’s Championship Saturday! 

 

 

 

• The most important players (QBs aside) for their teams on Saturday: TD Tori (PWI), Ricky Recckio (LGR), Light Red Hoodie Guy (Blitzkrieg), Tall Bearded Guy (Pit Harade), James T. Hearn (Back That Pass Up), George Lombardo (Mavericks), Maggie LaMantia (Sticky Bandits), Ryan “The Guy Who Isn’t Matt Helm” (The Untouchaballs), Renee Lantz (Practice Squad/Cunning Stunts), Wrestler Dan (Stir The Sauce), Thomas Fields (GUCCI), Bs Brother (Whatever Sideline He Decides To Stand On), Pistol Pete (THK), Maddie Norton (Eyes Uptown/Powerpuff Girls). Just to name a few. 

 

 

 

• Even if you’re not playing this weekend, come out and watch the games and celebrate with the rest of the league. 

 

 

 

• Can you believe there were two forfeits last week??  Fortunately I haven’t heard of any expected for this week.  Teams have made it this far, you’d think they’d want to finish what they started!

 

 

 

• It’s going to be wet, very, very wet. I don’t think the games will be postponed, so bring a towel and a change of clothes. Good luck out there. 

 

 

 

• Championship week is the most stressful week of the season.  Not just for you, but also the refs.  There is no TSL without people willing to ref our games, so PLEASE do not scream at them after a bad call.  It happens.  Move on.

 

 

 

• Three ‘most likely’ upsets: Let’s Get Reccked, Blitzkrieg, Powerpuff Girls

 

 

 

• I’ve asked many times what date the Fall Session is scheduled to start up this year, and been told that it’s still up in the air (likely August 17th or August 24th).  Start thinking about your team for next season… especially if this season is already over for you!

 

 

 

• There’s only a couple of spots left for the wine tournament, so get your squad signed up! The first 16 teams that register (and actually make their payment) will get those spots.  Don’t be the team that’s left out because you dragged your feet!

 

 

 

• I hope Breakfast Club comes back in the Fall.  I know, I’m told it’s very difficult to recruit people to wake up that early for Fall session when the weather’s a little colder. But this was such a great session with so many new faces and competitive teams.  Spring 2025 would be a long wait to do all that again.

 

And with that, we’re ready to finish the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality. Champions will be crowned, and they’ll live forever in TSL history. Are you going to be one of them? 

-GF OUT