WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 09 May 2025 18:12

Published: Friday, 09 May 2025 18:12

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1969

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to Week 3 of the Spring 2025 season. The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is going strong, and the teams of the TSL are jockeying for position as we’re already a quarter of the way done with the season. While it’s become common knowledge that “it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish” in the TSL, that doesn’t mean the teams off to a hot start shouldn’t get noticed. Sure, today’s 2-0 could be tomorrow’s 2-6, but that’s a future thing to discuss. So what teams are looking good early on in the season? Which teams are looking to hit the reset button and start over? I’ll tell you. 

 

WHO’S H-O-T-T-O-G-O???

 

PowerPuff Girls - 2-0, lots of points scored, and looking like a real threat to walk away with D5.

 

Dogg Pound - Sure they’re 2-1, but they’ve been playing well overall and you can tell they’re much improved from where they were a season ago. 

 

Legends - Duh. 

 

Come From Behind - From D5 champs to D4 favorites? CFB has looked every bit at home in D4, so much so that D3 might even be in their future at this rate. 

 

Jordan Lawson - The QB of the Freeballers/Mavericks might be 2-3 on the season, but he has the defending champion Mavericks right back on top in D2 and his play in D1 has the entire league reconsidering how they view the Freeballers. He’s helped them go from D1 afterthought to “plucky team you have to watch out for”. 

 

Wanderers - 3-0, rolling through teams during the season like they usually do. 

 

Balls Deep - 2-0, on top of D6, looking really good. But they’ve done this before, can they sustain this level of success this season? 

 

Refs who step up to help - the league has needed refs pretty badly this year, but we’ve had people jump in to help, even at the last second. 

 

Blue Ballers - 2-0, looking like a well oiled machine out there so far. 

 

The top half of the D2 standings - Mavericks, The Malones, and Can’t Touch This look to be a step above the other teams in this division. 

 

WHO’S NOT???

 

The bottom half of the D2 standings - Show Me Your TDs, Scared Hitless, and Jabronies look to be a step behind the other teams in this division. 

 

Select - only 6 points scored so far this season, looking like there’s a lot more work to be done. 

 

Cunning Stunts - winless on the season, and holding their first losing record since 2012 or something. 

 

Weather - two weeks of rain to start the season is never the best. 

 

Cobblestone - not the best start for Darryl and his crew as they battle to get a full roster to the fields, much less go for a win. 

 

Vaspian - It’s been a tough go to start the season for our favorite team starting with a ‘V’ so far.

 

Sticky Laces - Preseason favorites are 0-2 with a lot of things to sort out. 

 

Renee Lantz - 0-3 to start the season, whispers of Kenny overtaking the “Best Lantz” crown get louder.

 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD 

 

Freeballers - 0-3, but competitive as hell. The record doesn’t really dictate how good they’ve looked so far. Mentioned it a little earlier, but they’re two or three plays from a 2-1 record and being the hottest thing to talk about in the league. 

 

ILF - 1-1, looking less and less like a “slam dunk” champion each week but the talent is there

And there you have it. The rest of the TSL teams are just playing as they normally would and it isn’t surprising. A lot of 1-1 teams exist, and even some 2-0 teams (Two Tuddies, for example) are just doing what’s expected of them. Some good plays here, some mistakes there, and a lot of figuring it all out. 

 

But again, it’s very early in the season and when the calendar turns to June, we’ll be seeing a few of these teams going from Hot to Not and vice versa. The question, as always, is who will it be? 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Sticky Bandits 27, What A Dump 21

Frodo Swaggins 41, Freeballers 37

Legends 55, Frodo Swaggins 8

 

The Sticky Bandits move on with a hard fought victory over WAD, leaving the new old team winless on the season. Frodo Swaggins beat the Freeballers in a close game before getting absolutely dominated by the Legends. 

This Week’s Games

 

Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+8) - It’s weird seeing Sticky as an underdog these days, but here we are. The Legends looked very, very good last week against Frodo, but they’ll face arguably their toughest test of the season against Sticky. A D1 title game preview is on the horizon. LEGENDS BY 3

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+10) - The Legends have a hell of a back to back this weekend, going from one great team to an old rival very quickly. However, I’m not exactly sure this “rivalry” is quite the same given the new makeup of the ED roster. This one will probably lack the intensity of the last few seasons. LEGENDS BY 13

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Freeballers (+7) - The Freeballers get a second shot at Frodo a week after losing by 4. Frodo could be looking at a 3-1 record with a win here. Why is that important? Remember that there are two byes for the D1 playoffs, and if we’re already giving one to the Legends, there’s only one to play for. Frodo can’t afford a slip up if they want to be in the mix for the bye. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3

 

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

The Malones 38, Jabronies 7

Can’t Touch This 21, Scared Hitless 0 (Forfeit)

Mavericks 38, Jabronies 26

Mavericks 73, Show Me Your TDs 0

 

The Malones showed up and showed out in a 31 point win over the Jabronies. The Jabornies would fare slightly better against the Mavs, only losing by 12 to drop to 0-2 on the day. The Mavericks, however, would go to 2-0 on the day after dropping 73 points on SMYTDs. Scared Hitless saw what CTT did in Week 1 and were instantly terrified to play them last week. 

This Week’s Games

 

Mavericks vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - Here we go! A big time D2 game is on this week’s schedule as 2 of the top teams in the division battle it out on the gridiron. Both teams have looked to be in top form and have already scored over 60 points each in a game this season. (Opponents are irrelevant here). This will come down to whoever makes more plays on defense, which has been an issue for both teams at times. I flipped a coin.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 7

 

The Malones vs Show Me Your TDs (+46) - One of the largest spreads in TSL history, but for good reason. We KNOW The Malones love to score as many points as possible, and now they’re getting the wounded ducks of the division? SMYTDs, I know it’s been rough, and I’m sorry, but it’s going to get bad before it gets better. The schedule makers did you ZERO favors giving you the top 3 teams right off the bat, but you’ll have more of a chance after this week, I promise. Malones? If you’re reading this….go get 100. THE MALONES BY 42

 

Scared Hitless vs Jabronies (+3) - The Jabronies aren’t having the best time ever as they take on D2, but they’re still a very good team who will end up figuring out the kinks from popping up a division and they’ll be just fine. I think. Scared Hitless continues their usual “Eh, we’ll just cruise through the regular season, seeding doesn’t matter” attitude, but they should take this one provided they show up. SCARED HITLESS BY 8

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Passing While Intoxicated 42, Bullet Club 25

Wanderers 50, GirthQuakes 8

Buffalo Vice 38, Practice Squad 37

GirthQuakes 30, Cunning Stunts 28

716 40, D-Generation X, Y, and Z 28

 

As always, it’s a stupid idea to bet any money on the D3 games where just about anything can happen. Well, except the Wanderers losing, as they walked all over the GQs 50-8. And then the Quakes decided to give us the most shocking result of the young TSL season, beating the Cunning Stunts 30-28. Buffalo Vice and the Squad have a slobberknocker, with Vice squeaking out a victory. PWI moved to 1-0 on the season getting by Bullet Club pretty easily. And 716 ended the day with a win over DXYZ. 

This Week’s Games

 

D-Generation X, Y, and Z vs Practice Squad (+7) - The Squad getting off to an 0-2 start isn’t surprising, as they’ve written the book on “F the season” and winning D3 after going “O-fer” in the regular season. There’s a few unwritten rules in the TSL and “never counting out Practice Squad” is always on that list. DXYZ took the loss last week, but I can’t imagine that will shake them too badly. This game feels like another close one is on the horizon. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 1

 

Becca Gets Reccked vs Bullet Club (+8) - A game of some of the longest tenured social co-ed touch football players in the area meet up again. BGR is 1-1, but the loss was against a very good Wanderers team, and it was only by 4 points. Bullet Club is running into some injury issues, and a potentially promising season might be circling the drain already. It’ll be interesting to see how they bounce back this week from the loss against PWI. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 13

 

716 vs Buffalo Vice (+4) - An interesting matchup that pits two QBs who love to just chuck the ball. In fact, if you told me this game would end up setting the record for most “air yards” a ball is thrown from both teams combined during a game, I’d easily believe that. The athleticism of 716 against the mental prowess of Vice can’t be understated either. This will be a sneaky good game, but one team has Caitlyn Mason, and one team doesn’t. BUFFALO VICE BY 2

 

Wanderers vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - I’m going to assume last week’s game was a hiccup for the Stunts and until I see more evidence that D3 is going to be “way harder” for them, I’ll keep with the standard that they rock. This is the most interesting game on the schedule this week, hands down. The Super Stunts see if they have what it takes to win D3 as they play the Wanderers, who are in top form on this season already. This would’ve been our Monday Night Football game of the week if we could do that. WANDERERS BY 8

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs GirthQuakes (EVEN) - Two D3 teams with similar rosters that are quite talented. They have two of the hardest QBs in the league to sack in Buddy Lee and Matt Kieta. They’re just so quick. But Buddy has a bit more experience, which gives PWI the edge. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Tater Tots 20, Vaspian 6

Puckett 28, Mike’s Detailing 25

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks 56, Cobblestone 8

Come From Behind 34, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 33

 

The Tots took on Vaspian and walked out with a nice victory. The Non-All Stars of Puckett took home a close victory over Mike’s Detailing. (Messy car? Go to Mike’s! Tell him you saw his ad in “The Godfather” for a sweet discount!) BWIB made easy work of Cobblestone, winning in a landslide. And finally, Come From Behind had a HUGE win over ILF, claiming dominance over D4. 

This Week’s Games

 

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks vs Tater Tots (+6) - The Tots are a pretty good team, but as of now, it seems like BWIB could be something special based off that one game they played in D4. In the rain. Against a shorthanded Cobblestone. Okay maybe we can’t base too much off of that. The Tots vibes feel slightly off currently though, so. BIRD WATCHING IN BIRKENSTOCKS BY 8

 

Come From Behind vs Mike’s Detailing (+7) - Okay, I don’t think Mike is actually going to give you a discount if you mention that you saw his ad in my article. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM CODE TGF20 FOR 20% OFF! Maybe. I’m just showing him (and other businesses!) that you can put your ads in here and grow your business. As for the game, Come From Behind continues to look right at home in D4 as they transitioned VERY well so far to the division. Really liking this outcome for them so far. Mike’s Detailing will always be a “hard out” this season, as they continue to improve and in a couple of weeks they could be one of the best stories in the league. Just not this week. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

 

Puckett vs Vaspian (+10) - Puckett keeps on rolling this season while Vaspian is still struggling a bit on offense, and that’s going to be the difference in this game. PUCKETT BY 17

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Cobblestone (+10) - Darryl Carr QB Superstar can only do so much with the bums around him. He’s trying his best, but as we’ve seen in years past, his team fails him. ILF lost a heartbreaker to CFB, but jokes aside this is one of the best teams in D4 and if anything that was a wake up call. ILF BY 19

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Mo’ Chicken 38, Stir The Sauce 14

Sausage McMuffins 30, Not So Sticky 24

Powerpuff Girls 51, Pit Harade 20

Two Tuddies 44, Jake From State Farm 26

 

MO’ CHICKEN BABY!!! Mo gets their first win in history, absolutely dunking on STS and showing the TSL Universe they’re for real! The McMuffins continue to impress in D5, getting past NSS. The Girls laid the smack down on Pit Harade, who finally seem to have a QB in John Langley, which means they’re now cursed. Finally, the Tud Buds just keep doing Tud Bud stuff, winning easily to quietly go to 2-0. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Jake From State Farm (EVEN) - Okay, BK lost by 3 points to STS, and now they’re taking on, and I quote “The bad players from STS last year”. The person who said that asked to stay anonymous, but they were wearing yellow. DRAMA! Blitzkrieg can absolutely score points so I’m assuming the 12 points was an anomaly. Look for them to bounce back. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Pit Harade (+10) - The old D6 rivalry is renewed in D5. These teams have played some classic games in the past, and I can’t imagine this would be any different. Alex has the McMuffins playing good football, while PH hasn’t been themselves. I haven’t seen tall guy or fast guy for them yet this season either. Feels like two teams moving in opposite directions. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 12

 

Not So Sticky vs Stir The Sauce (+6) - STS doesn’t look quite up to par just yet. Averaging 14.5 points per game will do that. They take on Not So Sticky, who can always put up points, right? Well, not always, but they’ve looked okay so far this season. STS might need a little more time to simmer with the roster adjustments made this year. NOT SO STICKY BY 4

 

Two Tuddies vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - Mo’ Chicken arrived last week! However, beating STS is a little different than going up against an “on fire” Two Tuddies team that seemingly has everything going their way currently. The Tud Buds are just good. Mo comes back down to Earth a little bit this week. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

 

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Balls Deep 20, Select 0

TMA 28, Sticky Laces 8

Blue Ballers 40, Raw Milkers 24

Dogg Pound 19, Intentional Clowning 6

Irish Giants 25, Dogg Pound 6

 

Balls Deep gets another win and they shut out Select who are struggling currently this season. TMA gets a big win over the Sticky Laces who are not having the start to the season they envisioned. The Blue Ballers are looking a little less “up and down’ than they did as Mighity Drunks, which is good for them and bad for D6. The Dogg Pound got to 2-0 with a win over IC, but then they fell to the Irish Giants who got their first win 25-6. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Balls Deep vs Irish Giants (+6) - Balls Deep has been good so far, but there’s a chance the schedule did them some favors so far. A win over the Sticky Laces is impressive, but not if the Laces are starting out the “season from hell”. And beating Select might not seem like an achievement by June. The Irish Giants had a slow start but really ramped it up last week, and I think that’s the Giants we’ll be seeing the rest of the year. IRISH GIANTS BY 2

 

Blue Ballers vs Intentional Clowning (+7) - The Blue Ballers have been a nice early season surprise, and they’ll get to face off against an Intentional Clowning team that seems to struggle on offense quite a bit in the early going of the season. Of course, I expect that to change, but I don’t think this is the team that it changes against. BLUE BALLERS BY 8

 

TMA vs Raw Milkers (+3) - Ah yes, we’re back to the good ol’ days where TMA is favored to win. TMA got a win last week over the Sticky Laces, but it’s a little bit different of a squad yet again. Word is Ron Webber has retired too? Is this real? I sure hope not. Anyway, the Milkers are 0-2 but showed improvement last week and will continue to get better. But right now let’s take the veteran laden team. TMA BY 3

 

Sticky Laces vs Select (+10) - The TSL’s “Loser Leaves Town” match as these two 0-2 D6 teams will scratch and claw to avoid an 0-3 start. Select lost some fire power and dropped to D6, which was clearly the right call as the team learns to play together. They have enough “know how” to eventually be okay. The Laces are flabbergasted that they’re here, but they got a “get right” game right when they needed it most. STICKY LACES BY 17

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Who has been the most surprising team so far this season? The Sticky Laces being 0-2 is certainly surprising and unexpected, but the answer is the Freeballers. It isn’t surprising that they’re 0-3, no, but it’s how well they’ve been playing. They seem to have “leveled up” in the offseason. 

 

 

 

• The TSL Powers That Be moved the Woodpeckers out of D6 when it became clear they were going to destroy everyone early on, why can’t you do the reverse for Show Me Your TDs? There’s a few problems with that and it mostly has to do with scheduling. Currently, SMYTDs would need to drop to what? D5? And that means you’d have to change the D5 schedule completely. Not to mention that D2 would be down one less team. Plus, one team destroying an entire division makes it not fun for 7-8 other teams, whereas one team getting destroyed (despite warnings of it potentially happening) is kind of on them. 

 

 

 

• Okay, I know that lots of teams are blaming poor performances on the rain, but how much does it REALLY affect the games? Both teams have to play in it! I agree that it does affect both teams, but realistically there were teams out there that maybe should’ve won games they lost in the last two weeks. Multiple reports came in of great plays being thwarted by a usually caught ball slipping through a receiver’s hands, or a normally made “easy” throw ending up in the dirt because the QB lost grip. And of course everyone was slipping here and there. You can’t completely discount what happened, but there are definitely some teams that currently look a lot worse than they really are because of it. 

 

 

 

• I’ve heard that we’re in need of refs, how can I help? I’m glad you asked! Please reach out to Garrett, Jeff Krol, or anyone who looks important if you’d like to help out. Hell, just ask your own ref during your game who you should go talk to! The league survives on people like you helping out! 

 

 

 

• Why do the Power Rankings Committee, who are made up of multiple people who are at the fields every week, get to phone in the first few articles of the season when you, a single person who lives in Iowa and doesn’t even get to see the games, are expected to continue writing top notch articles every single week? I can’t speak for why the Committee sits around half assing things for a week, but I know the people out there are noticing and disagreeing with the rankings they put out early on. However, all publicity is good publicity. So as long as you’re talking about them, mission accomplished. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS ABOUT SATURDAY

 

 

• Here’s what’s most important. 66 degrees. Sunny. No more excuses. Wear your sunscreen. 

 

 

 

• I enjoyed hearing Kyle Messina and his mom Tammy on the podcast this week. I think its a really cool story how they play together on Sticky Laces. We need more feel good stories like that in the league. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Mavericks

• 11:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits

• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Becca Gets Reccked

• 1:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Wanderers

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Frodo Swaggins

 

 

 

• Pretty crazy that Breakfast Club made it’s glorious return and for perhaps the first time in history, TWO BC teams were shut out in the same morning. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• D’s Nutz 38, Syd On My Face 27

• Melicious Minx 27, Miles On It 24

• ReinCARNated 34, Jen-X 20

 

 

 

• Please do your best to not block anyone in when you’re parking. It should be common sense, yet we find people struggling to do the right thing every week so far. 

 

 

 

• Remember, if you left something behind at the fields, there’s a chance it’s hanging out at the Lost and Found! Ask the bar to take a look through it so you can find what’s yours!

 

 

 

• What’s that? You want MORE publicity for your squad? Be like the others and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ! 

 

 

 

• June 7th is Lenny and Rameer Day! Clear your schedule! (I know its EA Music Fest too!)

 

 

 

• I think it’s also surprising how D2 is so clearly divided in half. I hope Scared Hitless and the Jabronies figure things out sooner rather than later. 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 25 April 2025 17:52

Published: Friday, 25 April 2025 17:52

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1973

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, I come bearing fantastic news! In less than 24 hours, we will once again ascend upon the hallowed grounds of the Leonard Alba Fields at the Rose Garden sponsored by Topper’s Tim Horton’s Empire for the beginning of the greatest Social Co-Ed sports experience the world could ever produce: The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality! 

 

That’s right! The TSL’s #Spring2025 Season is finally underway! What does that mean? Well for one, it means that the largest, 10 week long family reunion will begin. It means fun, it means friendship, it means rolling your eyes at the referee for a call you don’t agree with but you don’t want to yell at B because you like him, it means meeting new people to the league and discovering what new characters await us, it means doing a few more shots at the bar than you planned on and suddenly it’s 4 hours later than you wanted to stay, it means scrambling on a Friday for girls to play for your team knowing it’ll end up being Steph anyway, it means scrambling on Friday for a QB after yours just bailed on you and realizing you’ll have to settle for John Langley, it means bothering Jeff Krol about the dumbest stuff (and if you’ve been here longer than 5 seasons, you’ll get to tell him about how “Topper/Lenny/Rameer wouldn’t have let it happen”), it means new romances will start anew whether for a night, a week, or for a while, it means “oh wow that new girl in D5/D6 is really, really good” and the vultures will begin to circle by Week 3 in an effort to get her to jump ship from her friends and family to play in D1 (3-1 odds it’s Bobby McConnell first), it means laughter, it means hugs, it means…everything. 

 

It’s been said many times, but I’ll repeat it for the new people who are just discovering that this place is so much more than a touch football league: the TSL is an experience that can change your life, if you let it. Yes, you can easily play your game and then go home. That’s frowned upon, but understood. However, if you let the league work its magic on you, and you stick around before/after your games, you’ll soon find what every TSLer before you has at some point: what you get out of the TSL is what you put into it. If you hang out at the fields or the bar after the games, and strike up a random conversation with some people, before you know it you’ll be yearning for Saturdays. You’ll be listening to the podcast each week, you’ll be awaiting each article (such as this masterpiece you’re feasting your eyes upon right now!) to be posted, and you’ll find yourself making new friends, and quickly. Chances are you’ll get sunburned too. But it’ll be worth it when you’re randomly on a limo bus for someone’s birthday on Week 7. Single? You could very easily find Mr. or Mrs. Right (or Mr. or Mrs. Right Now) amongst the crowd. The TSL has produced many, many couples who have fallen deep in love and gotten married and had babies. Don’t believe me? The TSL Draft Class of 2040 looks STACKED already.  It’s also produced many, many couples who have fallen off and caused a fun amount of spicy drama that helps the league run. 

 

The people who have been in this league for a while look forward to this day every year. They plan their life schedules around game times, and have more often than not told the people outside of the football family (the ones that just “don’t get it”) “No, sorry Julie, I can’t come to your (insert cat’s birthday/grandmother’s funeral/julie’s wedding here) on that day, I have football.” and then to ease the blow you’ll add the ever popular “but I’ll make an appearance after my game ends!”. 

 

Fun fact: You’ll never make the appearance. 

 

No, you’ll find yourself planning your family vacations in July/August in between seasons, but you’ll have to find out what day the Summer Wine Tournament is first so you don’t miss that. You’ll find yourself wanting to play in Breakfast Club to meet more people and have more fun (and then regret it if you’re not a morning person). You’ll consider refereeing and helping out the league, especially since you can make $30 to hang out at the fields like you were going to do anyway. You’ll find yourself looking online for new cleats, or receiver gloves, or start designing some sort of T-shirt for your team to wear as a jersey. You’ll find yourself being decently mad when you actually have to miss a game, having extreme FOMO that distracts you from whatever else you’re doing. Basically, you’ll just find yourself All In, and that’s okay. Some may call it a cult, and maybe they’re right. I’m not an expert on cults, but I could see the similarities. 

 

To the returning TSLers, welcome back. I know you know what I’m talking about above and you’re just nodding your heads along as you read. For the new people who are reading this, welcome home. I’m The Godfather, a former TSLer who played in the league when it first began who had to move away to Des Moines, Iowa for work. I have a really cool log cabin that I reside in. And I still write about my favorite league from back home because, well, I always figured that if I can’t play in the league, I may as well be a part of it somehow. That, and I lost a bet to Lenny a long time ago that I had to do this for life. And I can’t back out of that bet now. 

 

“But Godfather, aren’t you supposed to talk about the games and stuff? I heard that’s the best part!”. You’re right. That’s what’s most important now. There’s a brand new season upon us, there’s a brand new race for Social Co-Ed Immortality, and there’s a lot of new faces who are going to dictate who wins this installment of the Greatest Show On Kind Of Level Grass. 

 

Here’s how this is going to work. I’ll go into each division, starting at the top. You’re going to see the current Vegas odds for those teams to win the championship. I’ll write a little ditty about the teams, make a perfect prediction that will no doubt be accurate and ruin the mystery of the season, and then we’ll get into this week’s games. And here. We. Go. 

D1: 

 

Championship Odds

 

Legends 2-1

Sticky Bandits 4-1

Eyes Downtown 6-1

What A Dump 6-1

Frodo Swaggins 10-1

Freeballers 11-1

The TSL’s marquee division has a whopping SIX teams this time around, and I remember when that used to actually be sarcasm when I’d say it. Now, it’s nice to see more teams stepping up, and perhaps smelling blood. I want to be clear, I think that when the smoke clears on June 28th, no matter who is left standing, I don’t think it’ll be that much of a surprise. Yes, even if it’s YOU, Freeballers. The D1 teams are all very talented, but they’re starting to feel closer in talent from top to bottom than ever. Of course, the Legends still stand out, but they’re getting old. Let’s not forget that last season we saw an aging Joey Batts benched for the championship game because the rest of the team deemed him a liability. The Sticky Bandits are always a cohesive, hyper talented bunch, but despite getting favoritism from the refs because Jeff Krol signs their paychecks, they’ve found a way to fall short more times than not. Eyes Downtown isn’t even Eyes Downtown anymore. Arguably, What A Dump is more “Eyes Downtown-y” than Eyes Downtown is. It’s true, in a classic heel (face?) turn, most of ED turned on Bobby McConnell and left to go play with themselves. Yes, I hear how that sounds and no, I’m not changing it. Bobby scrambled to make a new roster for this season, and with a bunch of new faces, I’m only assuming this team has been doing three-a-days since March. Meanwhile, WAD looks very formidable on paper, even with Ben Stack on the roster. Frodo continues to stay in D1 despite mixed results since moving up, but the team soldiers on. And according to the rosters, it seems as though Garrett has dusted off the old carcass of former TSL Superstar Shari, which if she’s going to play weekly, AND if time treated her kindly, could be a difference maker. The Freeballers roll in with Jordan Lawson at QB and while they have talent, putting it together has always been an issue. I expect this team to compete and give headaches to other squads along the way. 

 

Prediction: Legends beat What A Dump in the finals. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits vs Freeballers (+10) - The Bandits come roaring into the season looking to take care of business and get started on the right foot. The Freeballers look to show they belong. STICKY BANDITS BY 13

 

What A Dump vs Frodo Swaggins (+3) - On paper, WAD should take this one easily, but there should be some growing pains for this team to start. Even if they have rapport with each other, there’s still rough edges to smooth out. Frodo knows each other and that will give them the advantage. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 8

 

Eyes Downtown vs Freeballers (+3) - Eyes Downtown will have the “rest advantage” going into this one as the Freeballers are playing their second game. Assuming the Freeballers learned from their first game, they may get the early jump in this one. FREEBALLERS BY 7

D2

 

Championship Odds

 

Mavericks 4-1

The Malones 4-1

Can’t Touch This 4-1

Jabronies 6-1

Scared Hitless 7-1

Show Me Your TD’s 100-1

D2 continues to be one of the TSL’s most even divisions, even if the teams change a little bit each season. The Mavericks didn’t make the jump to D1 after winning the title, but D2 is better off for it. They come into the season as the defending champs, but that doesn’t matter anymore. The Malones have been waiting all winter to get back on the field to claim the D2 title that they feel they lost more than the Mavs won last year. Can’t Touch This, no longer distracted by wedding bells, can refocus properly to win the D2 title themselves. They’re right there too. The Jabronies play smart football, and they’re very capable of winning games in D2 after taking the D3 title last season. Scared Hitless returns as D2’s very “tough out” who also leaves wins on the field in the regular season before stepping up in a big way in the playoffs. Show Me Your TD’s is a new team who, as we’ve seen many times in the past in the TSL, might be starting up in a higher division than they should be. Hopefully this isn’t a “The Replacements” scenario from a few seasons ago where the new team got beat up on so badly they got relegated to D8 and haven’t been seen since. But hey, maybe there’s some superstars who are going to rock it and they’ll win the title out of nowhere. However, teams with generic team names always tend to struggle. Look it up. 

 

Prediction: The Malones beat Mavericks in the final, getting revenge.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This vs Show Me Your TD’s (+13) - I don’t want SMYTDs to get discouraged, they’re just an unknown entity in the league and if there’s one thing you have to do in this league, it’s prove it. CTT gives them their first chance to do so. The problem is this: Ryan Dougherty. The TSL’s perfect example of a QB (tall, handsome, strong arm, multiple ACL injuries) can launch the ball into space, and historically CTT plays VERY well early in seasons and in the spring. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 20

 

The Malones vs Scared Hitless (+8) - I really think we’re going to see The Malones in midseason form. They always tend to be better when they’re the losers with something to prove, as nobody plays better with a chip on their shoulder. That, combined with SH’s penchant for regular season “meh-ness” makes this easy. THE MALONES BY 10

 

D3:

 

Championship Odds

 

Wanderers 3-1

Cunning Stunts 4-1

Degeneration X, Y, and Z 6-1

Becca Gets Reccked 7-1

Practice Squad 8-1

Bullet Club 10-1

Buffalo Vice 12-1

716 12-1

Passing While Intoxicated 15-1

GirthQuakes 15-1

New year, same D3. Sort of anyway. The TSL’s most competitive division top to bottom runs it back with a lot of the same familiar faces. The Wanderers come into the season as the slight championship favorites, as they tend to do. They’re joined up there by the usual suspects: the Keller clan (this time DXYZ), Someone getting Reccked, Practice Squad and Bullet Club too. However, the D4 champion Cunning Stunts are right there in the mix as the extremely talented gender team has moved up a division to wreak havoc on some new teams (and Buffalo Vice again). 716 returns with a couple of Ridgeways and Derek Pew throwing, but if he falters it looks like Terrell Bolden is there to take over (or maybe start outright?). PWI looks to build on last season’s “decent but not great” D3 debut and the GirthQuakes just decided to jump up a division for some reason, so that should be very interesting, especially after Bobby did to them what WAD did to him in D1. Always a villain, that one. 

 

Prediction: Wanderers beat the Cunning Stunts in a barnburner.

 

This Week’s Games

 

Wanderers vs Buffalo Vice (+6) - Don’t sleep on Buffalo Vice. They’ve been very competitive in most of their D3 games so far, and they seem to have adjusted very well to the move up. However, the Wanderers have the pedigree and the continuity teams dream of. They have to think this is their year. Is this the longest they’ve gone without a championship? (AFL titles count now, the NFL said so. Not sure if we should follow suit.). WANDERERS BY 10

 

Practice Squad vs Bullet Club (EVEN) - The one thing that happens when divisions and teams don’t change too often are the fun “rivalry” games that start to appear each season. While I don’t think these teams are ‘rivals’ in the way that they don’t like each other, it seems that they always play close, entertaining games. I don’t think this should be any different. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

 

D-generation X, Y, and Z vs GirthQuakes (+10) - I can already tell that I won’t like typing out DXYZ’s full name all season. The Kellers all seem to be here this season: Scott Keller Sr., Katie Keller, Scott Keller Jr., Kevin Keller?, Stegs Keller, Nicole Keller, Val Bernal-Cleavenger-Keller, Damien Keller, and there's a McGregor Keller in there too. They’re always good, they’re always fun, and they’re going to be in the mix all season. The GQs jumped up and they switched the roster a bit due to some nefarious tactics by a former player, so I have no idea what they’re going to be. I guess we’ll find out. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 16

 

Wanderers vs Becca Gets Reccked (+7) - The Wanderers start off with a customary Week 1 doubleheader, and they get to take on BGR, who are the world champions of “I bet this team will be in finals” but then they end up 3-6, only to pull a first round upset, and then get beaten before the finals. But, this game will be a classic, as they tend to be. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 4

Becca Gets Reccked vs 716 (+7) - 716 returns to D3 again, but it tends to go poorly for them. Will this season be any different? I’m not entirely sure. They have the talent, for sure. Donte Ridgeway is one of the TSL’s most underrated players. They’ll be hungry, and BGR is due to be .500 anyway. 716 BY 3

 

D4

 

Championship Odds

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 2-1

Puckett 4-1

Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks 4-1

Tater Tots 6-1

Come From Behind 6-1

Mike’s Detailing 8-1

Vaspian 10-1

Cobblestone 30-1

 

D4 has the potential to be simply electric this season based not just on the teams involved here, but on the team that isn’t here anymore. After years of being put into a corner by the Stunts, they’ve moved on, so the division is wide open, Becca style. (Am I doing the Becca jokes correctly, Andrew?). ILF comes in as the favorites, despite their ability to choke in that scenario. Puckett is back in D4, but apparently they don’t have any of their former All-Stars, and they’ve rebranded to just “Puckett”. Okay. We know they’re good, and they’re at home in D4. And if you want a fun little wrinkle? Mike Hull was cut by ILF who nearly instantly signed with Puckett. I smell a budding rivalry! Anyway, I’ll say it again, prepare for them to be the 7 seed that makes the title game. BWIMB is another team name I very much hate, and they’re a version of Grey Hair Don’t Care, just modified to be a D4 team that should be competitive. THE TOTS ARE BACK BABY! And they once again have B throwing for them, which means they’re going to be right there at the end. Come From Behind moves up to D4 after an eternity in D5 (seriously, they were in D5 before the Big Bang) and I have no doubts in my head that they’ll be able to rock and roll with the best of D4. Mike’s Detailing is “The Herd”, but they’re making Mike sponsor them so they don’t have to pay team fees, I assume. So go get detailed by Mike! (The Godfather may or may not be a paid endorser of Mike’s Detailing.) Herd Detailing was pretty damn good last season, and I expect them to take another step forward this year. Vaspian is back, which is whatever. BRIAN IS BACK AT QB AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS! After a small sabbatical, the first ballot Vaspian Hall of Famer has returned, which always makes Vaspian more of a threat. Darryl Carr QB Superstar is back to chase that elusive championship and put D4 on notice with his golden arm and glorious hair. As long as the rest of his team doesn’t let him down anyway. 

 

Prediction: Puckett beats the Tater Tots in the finals

 

This Week’s Games

 

Come From Behind vs Vaspian (+6) - The schedule makers made CFB’s life easy by giving them a perfect “first D4 opponent”. Not to say that Vaspian is the “Glass Joe” of D4, but I think it’s fair to say they aren’t the most difficult first draw. Brian’s return is fantastic, but I worry about Week 1 rust. CFB has done the same thing for 3,205 years so I’m not worried about that nearly as much as I am about Paul being in Florida or something. Assuming he isn’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

 

Puckett vs Cobblestone (+10) - The only issue with this game is that I’m not entirely sure who’s playing for Cobblestone yet, so I can’t accurately predict how well they’ll be doing. However, I know about Puckett a bit, so this isn’t too hard. PUCKETT BY 15

 

ILF vs Tater Tots (+6) - This is a very good “welcome back to the TSL” game here. Maybe even the Game of the Day, honestly. The Tots showed how good they can be with B, and we know that ILF is very good too. Expect a close one. TATER TOTS BY 1

D5

 

Championship Odds

 

Not So Sticky 4-1

PowerPuff Girls 4-1

Two Tuddies 4-1

Blitzkrieg 6-1

Sausage McMuffins 6-1

Pit Harade 8-1

Stir The Sauce 8-1

Jake From State Farm 10-1

Mo’ Chicken 15-1

 

D5 is looking like a three way dance between NSS, PPG, and the Tud Buds. All of these teams are back, with only slight adjustments on the rosters from what I can tell. And added to the mix are not only D6 champs Blitzkrieg, but the Sausage McMuffins have moved up as well, making D5 a bit more talented for sure. They join past D6 rival Pit Harade who looks to have a few roster changes, most notably an absence of Rayanna at QB, but adding John Langley apparently. Slight downgrade for sure. Stir The Sauce is back, sort of. I guess there was some sort of split in the offseason, and half of the team left to become Jake From State Farm. It’ll be interesting to see how badly it affects both sides. Mo’ Chicken is a new team that stems from some Dogg Pound roots, so we’ll need to see more from them to really know what, or who, they are. 

 

Prediction: Blitzkrieg beats Not So Sticky in the finals. (Old habits die hard, sorry BK)

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Jake From State Farm (EVEN) - It’s hard to really choose a winner, but of course I still will. Alex always has the McMuffins ready for battle, and they play the right brand of smart football that wins games. That should translate to D5 easily. JFSF is a complete unknown, but they’re not the ‘half’ of Stir The Sauce that has Wrestler Dan. That’s all I needed to know. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 1

 

Stir The Sauce vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - Same idea as the previous game. Top D6 team that is talented and plays the game the right way going against a team that just split down the middle. I think Blitzkreig should’ve been in D5 a long time ago, so I think they’ll be A-OK here. BLITZKRIEG BY 4

 

Powerpuff Girls vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - The Girls are back, and they’re very good. Mo’ Chicken gets to end up having their first game against a good gender team. It’s just simply not ideal. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 14

 

Not So Sticky vs Pit Harade (+10) - NSS has the right roster for this division to win the title. They’re going to be a favorite for sure. A Jeff Krol vs Joe K matchup to kick off the season just feels right as well. Did Topper make the schedule? I think we’ll see a close game early on with NSS pulling away later. NOT SO STICKY BY 14

 

Two Tuddies vs Stir The Sauce (+3) - The Tud Buds gets STS on the backend of a double header and they’ll be looking to start the season off the right way. The Tuddies still feel a bit overlooked in this division, but this game should change that right away. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

 

D6

 

Irish Giants 4-1

Balls Deep 4-1

Sticky Laces 4-1

Select 6-1

TMA 8-1

Blue Ballers 10-1

Dogg Pound 12-1

Raw Milkers 15-1

Intentional Clowning 15-1

 

Ah yes, D6. Our final division gives us a very nice mix of veteran TSL teams and some brand new ones as well! The Irish Giants have been around Social Co-Ed Football circles for quite some time, and they serve as a “GUCCI-lite” currently. They join both Balls Deep and Sticky Laces at the top of the favorites for the title, but that could change. Select and TMA represent veteran squads that know exactly what they need to do to win in this league. The Blue Ballers are just a more sober version of the ‘Mightey’ Drunks, and they’ve shown in the past that they can do some damage as well. Dogg Pound had a tough start in the beginning of their existence but they’ve shown steady improvement game by game, and are a dark horse candidate for a break out season. As for the Raw Milkers and Intentional Clowning? No idea. Brand new teams with some brand new people make them complete wild cards, which we love. 

 

Prediction: Sticky Laces over the Irish Giants on Championship Saturday. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Dogg Pound vs Raw Milkers (+7) - The DPs get a brand new squad to kick off the season, which could bode well for them to start off right. We’ll have to see what the Milkers bring to the table, but for now, we’ll go with the known team. DOGG POUND BY 6

 

Sticky Laces vs Balls Deep (+3) - D6’s entrant into the potential Game Of The Day, two top teams battle it out for what could be an important tie breaker in June. Both have shown growth of the last few years, but I think the Laces have done a little bit more growing. STICKY LACES BY 7

 

Irish Giants vs Intentional Clowning (+10) - Two brand new TSL teams this season square off, but we already know the Giants can play. Feels like a mismatch out of the gate. IRISH GIANTS BY 12

 

Blue Ballers vs Select (EVEN) - A battle between two teams that switched up their rosters a little bit. We know how well these teams have played in the past, but will that transfer over to this season? We’re going to find out. SELECT BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• What team should be playing in a higher division? Other than the champions that didn’t move up you mean? (I know The Malones would’ve moved up). We actually have a lot of the usual answers here moving up a division, so this is harder than I’d like it to be. Is the answer the Wanderers? Consistent winners year in and year out, despite not winning lots of titles. 

 

 

 

• What team would the TSL Universe be most happy for if they won a championship this season? TMA winning D6 came instantly to mind. I know they’ve done it before but that was forever ago and they’ve lost so many great players along the way, they’re not the same. A bonus answer: The Kellers. 

 

 

 

• Which player has the most stress on them this season? Bobby McConnell. I know that sounds weird since he’s a third ballot hall of famer, and just won D1 not too long ago, but he had his team walk out on him, so he’s out to prove that he didn’t need them in the first place. 

 

 

 

• Who will be the best team at the bar this season? I don’t have an answer, because I think a new team will emerge and take the crown. But which one?

 

 

 

• Which divisions are closest in talent and which have the widest talent gap? A sneaky two part question here. The closest in talent where anyone can win would’ve been D2, but SMTTDS might be overmatched. If they can hold their own? Then okay. I think the answer is D4, especially if Darryl cobbles together a good roster. As for the talent gap, I think there’s a clear line of haves and have nots in D6 right now. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1. Buffalo was 80 degrees on Thursday. Of course it’ll be 53 degrees and rainy Saturday. 
2. Three teams with the potential to surprise their division: Select, Freeballers, Stir The Sauce
3. LENNY AND RAMEER DAY, OUR TSL NATIONAL HOLIDAY, IS JUNE 7TH. PLAN ACCORDINGLY TO CELEBRATE.
4. Breakfast Club is featuring a lot of new players, which usually means it’ll become must watch TV.
5. Is this it for Joey Batts?
6. Make sure everyone signs a waiver!!
7. If you’d like to get your team featured in this article more, I need info on your games and who your team is! Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. asap. 
8. Don’t forget, the TSL Podcast will record weekly, and if you want to be a guest, tell Jeff Krol, Dorene, or Joe K right away!
9. Yes, Topper is a bum and is in Florida so we won’t see him for a bit. It isn’t your fault. I promise.
10. The team with the worst odds to realistically win the title? 716. 

 

And there you have it folks! The start of the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is less than 24 hours away. History will be made. Which side of it will you end up on?

-GF OUT

WEEK 2 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 02 May 2025 12:56

Published: Friday, 02 May 2025 12:56

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: We’re Off! The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality began last week, and while you can’t really get a full feel for how the season is going to go in one week, the Week 1 vibes were immaculate. We had 22 games, and 9 of them were one score games. We only had 4 blowouts. In other words, we had some very competitive competitions to start the Spring 2025 season. 

But once again, we can’t read too much into these results. Week 1 is notorious for giving us false narratives. All too often a team that looks like they’re destined to be champs after Week 1 end up 3-5 and lose as a 7 seed in the playoffs. On the flip side, a team that looks like it’s going to be a long, long year for them can put it together and go on a championship run. So, have no fear Show Me Them TDs, you may have lost by 64 in Week 1, but in a few weeks time people could very much be talking about how you’re 5-1 and the hottest thing since Bs Brother’s Christmas Album. 

 

Week 1 brought us our usual ‘trial version’ of the TSL. Multiple reports suggested that the weather was a little rainy and then a little windy. Not all of the teams were there, as is tradition, because Week 1 tends to have a few more bye requests overall than the other weeks that aren’t holidays. And of course, the teams that did play more than likely had a player or two (or three) that couldn’t make it because they forgot April 26th was the start of the season, despite it being clearly marked in your team’s group text a month in advance. As a result of all of this, Week 2 usually begins to give us a better picture of how things are going to go ‘for real’ during the season. Week 2 gives us a full slate of games, starting with 3 Breakfast Club games at 9:00 and having 5 games from 10am-2am. Unfortunately, it’s looking like you’ll be seeing some more rain at the fields, so be prepared for that. 

 

Not every battle in the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality will have pristine conditions, so its weeks like this one that tend to really show you what you’re made of. Who’s going to come out on top this week? Let me tell you. 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 39, Freeballers 32

Frodo Swaggins 40, What A Dump 30

Eyes Downtown 30, Freeballers 17

 

The Sticky Bandits kick off the year with a nice win over the Freeballers. Speaking of the Freeballers, they’re 0-2, but they were in both games and word around the text messages I got last weekend from my various informants were that they were even missing some key players, so that’s something to keep an eye out for. Eyes Downtown (Girthy EyeQuakes?) grabbed the other win from the Freeballers in their first game after Bobby had to replace all of the losers on the roster this offseason. Speaking of those losers, they lost to Frodo Swaggins to start off the “What A Dump” era. But, it wasn’t their fault. Garrett and company (especially Katie Swanson, who I got the most texts/emails/telegraphs/smoke signals about this week) were on fire. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits vs What A Dump (+6) - Sticky gets to take on the WAD to kick off Week 2 in what should be an entertaining game. To be clear, the WAD roster is loaded with top TSL talent who have won a lot of championships over the years and they should be fine as the season progresses. But Sticky has continuity like no other TSL Franchise, and that experience should give them the edge as WAS finds its way. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

 

Frodo Swaggins vs Freeballers (+7) - There’s a chance that the super secret yet super obvious underlying storyline is that Frodo is ready to take the next step towards playing for a D1 championship this year. Garrett has had an offseason dedicated to clearing out unneeded distractions so he could focus on what matters: taking Frodo to yet another level, and it showed in Week 1. The Freeballers will be game to get that first win, and I wonder if Frodo will get caught looking ahead to the next game? FREEBALLERS BY 4

 

Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - They’re back. The D1 champs are done with the silly team names and they’re all business. Probably. The Legends are the favorites until someone shows us why they shouldn’t be. If Frodo truly is ready to ascend a level in D1, here’s the chance to prove it. LEGENDS BY 14

D2

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Can’t Touch This 64, Show Me Your TDs 0*

The Malones 38, Scared Hitless 17

 

Not a very eventful start to the D2 season, which is Jeremy Burr’s fault for finally being ‘touchable’ after all this time. CTT dominated the brand new squad in SMYTDs, and the asterisk is because it’s rumored that CTT put up over 70 points but the refs didn’t keep writing the scores due to running out of room on the scorecard. The Malones quest to win D2 got off to a good start with a very good win over Scared Hitless, who is always better in Week 9 and 10 than Weeks 1-8. 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Malones vs Jabronies (+10) - The Jabronies pop into D2 after a mildly shocking D3 title win last season, and they get to play the team that won D3 just before they did in their first game. That’s a nice transition for them, but The Malones already have a win under their belt and “The Rhace That Runs The Place” is apparently the full time QB now instead of the random, trick play QB that gave The Malones a bit of an edge. I wonder how long that lasts if they lose a couple of games, because it’s not like Andy Strug is some slouch. THE MALONES BY 17

 

Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (+10) - I want to believe that CTT is already in midseason form and that’s why points came so easily for them last week, but it’s going to be truly hard to determine that based off potentially beating a D5/D6 team who’s masquerading (someone tell Tino what this means please) as a D2 team. This will give them a bit more of a litmus test for where they’re at this year. Scared Hitless lost Travis, but they picked up George, who then promptly got hurt playing in a lower division game. It always seems like we talk about who Scared Hitless doesn’t have than who they do have. But, until who they DO have steps up and wins a big game, there’s not a reason to. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 18

 

Mavericks vs Jabronies (+10) - Champ vs Champ battle! The reigning and defending D2 champions get to take on the D3 champs who moved up, and they get them on the back end of a double header? Even if the “good vibes” Mavericks have some rust on them, I imagine they’ll shake it off in this one. MAVERICKS BY 13

 

Mavericks vs Show Me Your TDs (+30) - The fun part about the beginning of the season is that you’ll get some wild spreads like this one. SMYTDs lost by a lot last week and now they get the defending champs? It doesn’t seem fair. I did hear that this squad has athletes (as most teams do) on the male side, but there’s apparently a lot of potential in the ladies on this team as well. It’s only Week 2, but the vultures are circling to get these ladies on their rosters if that’s true. Expect some scouts to be standing near this game to watch a bit. MAVERICKS BY 24

D3

 

Last Week’s Games: 

 

Wanderers 45, Buffalo Vice 22

Bullet Club 34, Practice Squad 29

D-Generation X, Y, and Z 24, GirthQuakes 23

Wanderers 31, Becca Gets Reccked 27

Becca Gets Reccked 38, 716 33

 

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. The Wanderers win both Week 1 games in a double header to go to 2-0 after getting by Buffalo Vice and BGR. BGR would end up 1-1 with a win over a returning 716. The Kellers shook off a slow start to beat the GQs, and Bullet Club got past Practice Squad in a close game. D3 continues to be loaded with good games, as all but one was a one score game here. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Bullet Club vs Passing While Intoxicated (+7) - PWI didn’t have a Week 1 game, so this is their opening game of the season. If PWI wants to consider themselves in the upper echelon of D3, this is a game they need to win. They have the QB for it, and they have female talent as well, but one has to wonder about the males on that team. Do they have a game breaker? Bullet Club played a very good game last week against Practice Squad, but losing one of their top players in George is going to hurt a bit. If anyone has the roster to replace him though, it's BC. BULLET CLUB BY 6

 

Wanderers vs GirthQuakes (+8) - The GQs were impressive in their D3 debut, taking an early lead against DXYZ before losing by a single point. That’s a good start for the newer-ish team. Things get a little harder this week as they take on the Wanderers, who already seem to be rolling. There’s not much to say about the Wanderers that hasn’t been said a million times before, so I’ll just say ONE thing I’ve said before here. WANDERERS BY 6

 

Practice Squad vs Buffalo Vice (+3) - A really good match up between two evenly matched teams. Both have talent on both sides of the ball, but Practice Squad has a slight edge at QB. And since PS lost last week, B is going to play with a bit more of an edge. This should be a close one, but if both teams play to their potential, you’re going to see this come down to the last drive. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

 

Cunning Stunts vs GirthQuakes (+16) - All hail the Queens. The Cunning Stunts are in D3 after winning D4 (finally!) last season, and they’re here to inject themselves immediately into the D3 title picture. The Stunts have some of the best female talent the TSL has to offer, and they have first ballot Hall of Famer Joey Batts slinging the ball for them as well. They’ll be a force right out of the game, and the GirthQuakes will really have their work cut out for them. CUNNING STUNTS BY 18

 

D-Generation X, Y, and Z vs 716 (+5) - DXYZ got off to a slow start in slightly colder weather last week (blame the Xs and Ys more so than the Zs for that) but now that they’re awake, they figure to be one of the better teams in D3, as usual. 716 lost to BGR last week, but they have a talented roster, it’s just a matter of putting it together on the field (which has usually been the case for this franchise). I’m not saying they won’t be able to, but until I see it, it’s hard to pick them right now. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 10

D4

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind 36, Vaspian 16

Puckett 32, Cobblestone 18

ILF 45, Tater Tots 9

Come From Behind shows up in D4, plays a game without league icon Paul LoVullo (who historically “big times” his own team by skipping Week 1 to stay in Florida a little longer), and they walk to an easy win over Vaspian. They’ll be just fine in this division. Puckett put up 32 points over a shorthanded Cobblestone team, who still managed 18 anyway. Imagine if we allowed Darryl to have a full team? He’d win D1 every season. This is to make it fair for everyone else. The Tots got burnt a bit in their return to the TSL, as ILF just poured it on in this one to get to 1-0. 

 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Tater Tots vs Vaspian (EVEN) - The two orange teams face off this week with both squads really needing a win after rough Week 1s. While you rarely see “must win” games in Week 2, a poor showing by either team to drop them to 0-2 could potentially derail the season. I think we’ll see a sense of urgency from both sides in this one, and it should be a very good game. TATER TOTS BY 2

 

Mike’s Detailing vs Puckett (+3) - Puckett got their bye week win over the half rostered Cobblestone last week, so we’re not entirely sure what we’re getting from this iteration of them just yet. But, the fact that they didn’t win by more wasn’t promising. Mike’s Detailing (RIP The Herd) made strides last season and you have to imagine they’ll continue that trend. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 2

 

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks vs Cobblestone (NO LINE) - Even Vegas can’t make a line for a game that might be played 6 on 4, but we’ll have to see where we end up. I’m not sure what we’ll see from BWIB, but they have a proven winner at QB, which is a big part of the battle in D4. BIRD WATCHING IN BIRKENSTOCKS BY 9

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - Dare I say it, a D4 title game preview? CFB was very impressive in their D4 debut, and now they get to play the best team (on paper) in D4. ILF showed no mercy (Cobra Kai style) as they smashed the Tots last week, and they almost look like they’re on a mission to finally take this D4 title. They’re smart enough to not underestimate CFB in what could be a Game of the Day candidate. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 7

D5

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sausage McMuffins 23, Jake From State Farm 22

Stir The Sauce 15, Blitzkrieg 12

Powerpuff Girls 51, Mo’ Chicken 8

Not So Sticky 21, Pit Harade 17

Two Tuddies 31, Stir The Sauce 20

 

D5 got off to a rousing start that saw most games end up as back and forth contests. The McMuffins came up to D5 and snuck out a victory over JFSF, while their D6 counterparts fell just short against STS. STS would fall to 1-1 on the day after getting beaten by the Tud Buds who looked pretty sharp out there to start the year. Mo’ Chicken had the unenviable task of getting the PPGs for their first game ever, and it wasn’t pretty as they got beat up a bit. Not So Sticky pulled out a win over Pit Harade in a close one. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Stir The Sauce vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - Hopefully the Chickens just got caught by a stud opponent in Week 1, and they’ll rebound accordingly this week. Stir The Sauce (led by super star and top league nice guy Wrestler Dan) snuck out a win over BK last week, and they’ll be looking to go to 2-0 as the new roster gets a bit settled. STIR THE SAUCE BY 12

 

Not So Sticky vs Sausage McMuffins (EVEN) - Both of these teams are similar with talent, so I think we’ll see a good one here. NSS always plays a good game, so it’ll be on the McMuffins to keep up. Somehow I think the first team to 24 points will win this one. NOT SO STICKY BY 1

 

Powerpuff Girls vs Pit Harade (+10) - The PPG train keeps on rolling as the ladies get to take on Pit Harade this week. PH seems to no longer have its female QB that would help them get the gender scores needed to keep pace with this freight train that’s coming through. The Girls looked dialed in already last week, look for that to continue. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 14

 

Two Tuddies vs Jake From State Farm (+7) - The Tuddies looked to be in midseason form last week, which doesn’t bode well for the rest of D5. JFSF lost by a single point last week, so it’ll be interesting to see if they can improve on the good that they did last week. This isn’t the best matchup for them though. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

D6

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Dogg Pound 20, Raw Milkers 7

Balls Deep 36, Sticky Laces 22

Intentional Clowning 19, Irish Giants 6

Blue Ballers 40, Select 6

The Dogg Pound started off 1-0 with a nice opening day win over the Milkers. Hopefully that’s a sign of more good things to come for them. Balls Deep stakes their claim to the D6 throne after wiping the floor with the Sticky Laces a bit to go to 1-0. Intentional Clowning (as I’ve since been told is Day By Day, who used to be Just Joshing) had no real trouble with the Irish Giants to win in Week 1. And lastly, Select had a rough go of things in D6, getting beat up on a bit by the Blue Ballers, who walked away with a 40-6 win. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Balls Deep vs Select (+12) - If last week was any indication of what’s to come, Balls Deep looked VERY good and Select…did not. All that this really means overall is that I’m going to pick Balls Deep to win this game easily, and then Select will end up winning by 10. BALLS DEEP BY 18

 

Sticky Laces vs TMA (+6) - The return of TMA! TMA takes the field for the Spring season for the first time this year looking to get back to the old days of winning seasons. I’m sure there’s a few roster tweaks they’ve made to get there, but they’re getting a pretty good Sticky Laces team to start, and the Laces could use a win after last week’s loss to BD. STICKY LACES BY 8

 

Blue Ballers vs Raw Milkers (+10) - The Raw Milkers struggled big time on offense, even though they only allowed 20 points last week. The Blue Ballers had no trouble scoring points and only allowed 6 points last week. Not exactly the matchup that favors the Milkers. BLUE BALLERS BY 20

 

Intentional Clowning vs Dogg Pound (+10) - The IC franchise historically wins games, but they don’t score A TON of points often. Their defense is usually pretty good too, assuming this roster is the same as other years. The Dogg Pound consistently improves and they look to keep that up but they need a little bit more of a punch on offense still. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 9

 

Irish Giants vs Dogg Pound (EVEN) - The Giants weren’t all that impressive in Week 1, while Dogg Pound was, and if they both play the game they played last week, the Giants are going to get DP’d pretty badly. But, Week 1 usually means nothing and I expect the Giants to rebound from that loss for this week. Catching the Dogg Pound on the back end of double header helps too. IRISH GIANTS BY 8

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• What is this “Breakfast Club” I’m hearing about? For the millions (and millions) of new TSLers who are still figuring things out, Breakfast Club is our often imitated (but never duplicated) draft league where you sign up, get drafted to a team, get a cool TSL shirt, play football at 9am, and then drink mimosas until your regular game begins. We have 6 female captains draft the teams (or apparently, their sons) and it's a GREAT way to get to know more and more people in the league. And of course, it’s fun, and mostly low pressure. 

 

 

 

• I really like this league and I’ve been wanting to get more involved. What can I do? Well, right now it seems like the league needs a few more good refs. You get $30 to ref a game, and if you’ve never reffed before you can ‘shadow’ our more veteran refs so you can get comfortable doing so. The league will always need refs, so even if you just want to do “spot duty” and ref here or there, let Jeff Krol or Garrett know asap! And if you don’t know who they are, just ask around, you’ll eventually find someone that can point you to who they are. 

 

 

 

• Does any team truly “need” a win after last week yet? No, no team really needs a win after a Week 1 loss, but it always helps the team’s mentality. However, we’ve seen teams start off 0-4 before they really click into high gear and they run to a championship with a strong second half of the season. Also there will be teams that start off 4-0 and look like world beaters that end up losing in the first round after going 5-3 on the year. The season isn’t over after one game, even if it feels like it. 

 

 

 

• What are you looking forward to the most this week? Good question. I personally am interested to see how the Frodo - Legends game goes. In a perfect world, Frodo beats the Legends, or at least it's a one score loss for them. Basically, give me any result that shows that Frodo is ready to take the leap to true contender status while the Legends aren’t going to just kill everyone. 

 

 

 

• Where is B’s Brother? Where is Topper? These two things are more than likely related, as it was in Lenny’s Will that if Topper ever had a summer home, he had to take B’s Brother with him. As a result, B’s Brother is probably the official donut tester for Toppers Tim Horton’s/TSL Florida Empire. Both will be back. I think. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• The weather, again, looks to be “not great” this weekend so remember to bring a change of clothes! If the games are potentially going to be cancelled, you’ll find out asap on Facebook and the Super Kool Telegram App. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• D’z Nuts 34, Jen-X 30

• Syd On My Face 40, Mel-icious Minx 37

• ReinCARnated 36, Miles On It 33

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Championship Prediction: Syd On My Face over D’z Nuts in the finals

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Practice Squad vs Buffalo Vice

• 11:00 - The Malones vs Jabronies

• 12:00 - Scared Hitless vs Can’t Touch This

• 1:00 - Come From Behind vs ILF

• 2:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Legends. 

 

 

 

• Remember! If you’re bitter that your team isn’t getting enough publicity here in the article, do what the other teams do and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me why your team is great or terrible. Or ask questions. Whatever you want to do. 

 

 

 

• Heating Up: Frodo Swaggins, Dogg Pound, Wanderers

 

 

 

• Cooling Down: What A Dump, Show Me Your TDs, Sticky Laces

 

 

 

• It was good to have the podcast pop up again on my Spotify feed, if you haven’t listened to it before, you can listen here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4sjy3jFXmiShn5M4AfcuQm?si=WKfuzWAERWuW8iT0LWcU2A

 

 

 

• And if you want to be on the podcast, reach out to any of the TSL leaders, they’ll point you in the correct direction. 

 

 

 

• If you’re going to need subs, you have until 3pm TODAY, FRIDAY, to get your email in. Remember, if you don’t get a response approving your players, they won’t be allowed to play. 

 

Week 2 is here. Good luck everyone. Except Blase. 

 

-GF OUT

CHAMPIONSHIP THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 25 October 2024 16:41

Published: Friday, 25 October 2024 16:41

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 2680

“We’re Here.” - Bray Wyatt

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, Cookie and Elmo, B’s Brother, DJ Jimmy, Girl On Crack (wherever she is), Girl Who Kind Of Had Parking Lot Sex With A Car That One Time (this is real btw), Topper, Every Single Bartender We’ve Ever Had, Chris Cole, The Tommy Hughes People Like, Monish, Prim, and That Jerk Bird That Attacked A Bunch Of People That One Time WE’VE MADE IT! This Saturday, October 26th, In the Year of Our Lord 2024, history will show that 26 TSL franchises (You’re forgetting Breakfast Club.) have come to the Lenny Alba Fields for their shot at Immortality, and by 5:00, when the smoke clears, we will have crowned the 7 best Social Co-Ed Football Champions in the world. 

 

Everything you’ve done since late June before the last season ended (because poaching people has to start early!) has led you to this moment. Nobody starts a TSL franchise without imagining how it would feel to win the championship of whatever division they’re in. Even teams that came into this season knowing it was a pipe dream like the Freeballers, Dogg Pound, Straw Hats, Frodo Swaggins, Mix’n It Up, Two Tuddies, and the GirthQuakes still had that fleeting thought “But what if we DID?”. This is where all of the TSL’s franchises want to be, but more than half of them are now home, with no games to play in (But if you’re ON one of those eliminated teams, STILL come to the bar to watch some good football and cheer on the teams going for the title!). Playing on Championship Saturday, to have a shot at immortality, is just the first step towards a title. With the exception of Breakfast Club, all of the remaining teams in Divisions 1-6 will earn Immortality by competing in a grueling, back to back doubleheader and coming out victorious both times. You may say to yourself “two wins? That’s it? Doesn’t sound that hard!”. Oh, but it is. 

 

Many of the greatest teams in TSL history struggled mightily to get that first championship win, or they never got it at all. A dropped pass here or a slip up there can lead to months of asking yourself “what if”? Being behind early in a semi-final or a championship can derail even the best of teams. It’s happened time and time again. Ask the Cunning Stunts, for example (To be fair to the Stunts, they DID win the D5 title in Spring of 2019, and moved up to D4 after. Since then, they’ve been one of the best teams in the division and have never won, despite only losing anywhere from 0-2 games every single season. They’re 0 for 9 in D4 title quests, and arguably were the favorites to win it all in 6-7 of them.). While the physical play in each game matters, so too do the mental and emotional aspects of these games, and whether or not you can keep them in check. Good luck. 

 

However, surviving Playoff Saturday has proven to be a challenge for some, yet again. And for others, it became a time to put their playoff chops on display for the entire TSL to see once more. I used Rameer’s old trope of putting a quote at the top of the article for a reason. We’re here. You’re here. You survived the first week of the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality. It was a crazy fun week that saw its share of upsets, most notably #7 PWI taking out #2 Mix’n it Up in D3. But that wasn’t all! GUCCI beat the Two Tuddies as a #6 seed, Practice Squad and “Playoff B” went home, and the GirthQuakes did nothing with all of the momentum they were building and will stay home this week. Last week’s games were split exactly down the middle, 11-11 between 1 score games and more than 1 score games. Quite a variety. But the true magic of Playoff Saturday came in the D3 8 vs 9 game. There was TAST, with Dubey at QB, losing to Buffalo Vice 21-0. And then the heavens opened up, a harp was heard faintly in the distance, and fate intervened. Topper stepped into his natural role at QB, and marched his team back from that deficit to tie the game up. And with the game tied 31-31, Topper then led his team down the field to score a game winning TD with 22 seconds left. Magic is real, and miracles do happen. 

 

The magic of Championship Saturday is going to be on full display and there are going to be 26 teams looking for a miracle of their own at some point. In order to really get a handle on all of the things that are going on in the TSL, I’ve yet again forced the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee to join me in navigating the Championship Saturday waters and to make some predictions of their own. They get paid for 10 weeks, yet only do 9 articles a season (not to mention they really phone in the first four or so), so I don’t feel bad making them do a little bit more work as the season comes to its exciting conclusion. 

 

Good luck to the teams out there. Let’s go have some fun. 

 

—-----------

 

GF: Okay, it’s what you’ve all been waiting for! The time I get to tell you who’s going to win the Championships! And now we get to the fun of bringing on the TSLQBPRC so they can hit us with their predictions as well! It’s been quite a season, hasn’t it? 

 

TSLQBPRC:  Fewer brawls than Spring, but that’s not a bad thing!  A few really great divisions (D3, D2, D5), a few divisions where one or two teams really ran away with it (D1, D4, D6), and very little rain to boot.  Oh, and Breakfast Club is still awesome!  We don’t get to talk about Breakfast Club much in the weekly Power Rankings, sadly.  What storyline would you say this season had that has the people in Iowa MOST intrigued?  (The answer is obviously the “Topper Playoff Miracle of 2024” right?)

GF: Despite Topper’s re-return to greatness (He did unofficially win D3 Defender of the Year last season) and the story that only Lenny could’ve written, it was sadly just a one day storyline, and if you’re picking the best one of the season, it should last a little longer. With that said, the best storyline was having the D1/D2 Crossover games. Instead of just combining the divisions like it was rumored to be happening, the TSL just had both divisions essentially play just about everyone. We really saw some great competition between the two, and while the final record was heavily in favor of D1, the games were quite competitive for the most part. We had a lot of close games that didn’t go in D2’s favor. So anyone in D2 that was concerned about moving up shouldn’t really fear that anymore. Let me ask you about the runner up story line though. How do you feel about Joey Batts going 18-0 in the regular season? 

 

TSLQBPRC: Mixed emotions.  Joey going undefeated in D1?  Hate it.  Look, his head is big enough already.  If he can finish 11-0 with two more playoff wins, I feel like we’d have to cancel the podcast forever just to avoid the CHANCE of him showing up on it.  That being said, Joey going undefeated in D4?  Love it.  The Stunts are just a work of art to watch out there, and they’re exactly what I’d want League outsiders to see if they ever questioned “how can women play football against the men?”  (Answer: They play it really, really well).  Plus the Wet Bandits just won their third straight championship about a year ago, so there’s not as much “they were due for it” as there is for the Stunts, who are on Year Five of their championship drought.  The last time the Cunning Stunts were champions, the winners of the four divisions above them were Marketing Mayors, Gryffindor, Slytherin In The Endzone and Puckett All-Stars.  None of those teams exist today.  So yeah, I think the Stunts (if not the Wet Bandits) would be popular champions if they can close it out on Saturday.  Anyone else you think the League is rooting for?

 

GF: Two teams immediately came to mind. The first one are the Power Puff Girls. They’re a “Cunning Stunts Lite” in many ways, but how that team really got itself from “brand new team” to “division terror” in a short time is fantastic. Not to mention that a PPG win, coupled with a Stunts loss means we’ll get some D4 gender battles in the Spring, which is something everyone wants. The other team was Blitzkrieg. It feels like they’ve been in D6 for forever, and they’ve been one of my personal favorite predictions for that entire time. They’re ALWAYS a contender, and they’ve finished #1 overall so many times only to fall on their faces in the playoffs. This year they were amazing, going 8-1 and just dominating almost everyone. And of course, the one team they didn’t dominate and lost to? Their opponent in the semi-finals, Day By Day. Blitzkrieg can’t ever catch a break it seems. What surprised you the most about last week? 

 

TSLQBPRC: Besides a 50+ year old backup QB coming in down 21-0 and beating Buffalo Vice?  Well we weren’t expecting GUCCI to beat Two Tuddies, and it’s not because they’re not good enough - GUCCI just hadn’t “played like themselves” this season, and something seemed off.  Now it seems “on” again, whatever “it” is.  But the biggest shocker has to be PWI beating Mix’n It Up, right?  Mix’n It Up controlled their own destiny a couple weeks ago for locking up the #1 seed (which they lost) and PWI was a bit of an afterthought in the D3 race.  Plus these two teams played each other just a couple weeks ago, and PWI only scored 6 points!  Is Buddy Lee the new “Playoff B”? (He’s got the right letter for it).

 

GF: Buddy has a long way to go before he can be considered “Playoff Lee”, but honestly that guy just seems to be a winner wherever he plays. And that’s just it. “Playoff B” exists because B very clearly takes his game up a notch when it matters most, whereas Buddy, well, he’s just kind of always that good? Imagine if he took it up another level? However, if Buddy wins two titles again, shouldn’t he shoot up the QB rankings even more? I know you guys frown upon dominating lower divisions. 

 

TSLQBPRC: Sure, but if Buddy keeps winning, he won’t be dominating lower divisions for long.  Passing While Intoxicated is two wins away from D2… which means Crossover games against D1!  Don’t you want to see a still-drunk Buddy take on Eyes Downtown?  Of course that assumes that everyone who wins will move up a division.  There’s bound to be a coward or two who wins their division and decides against moving up, right?  Clearly any of the top three D2 teams would do fine in D1… Wanderers would do fine in D2… Stunts would kick ass in D3… there’s plenty of examples of teams who are ready to move on to the next challenge.  It’s part of what makes the offseason so exciting!  But before we can get to the NEXT season, we should probably talk about this one.  What do we think about the games this weekend?

 

GF: Like I mentioned before, we only had 5 upsets this weekend out of our 21 games (including Breakfast Club). That isn’t the MOST fun storyline wise, but in terms of the games, we’re getting the best of the best here. Wanderers vs PWI (who apparently have the playoff magic like we said earlier) is a fun game. GUCCI’s upset gets them playing the Power Puff Girls, which means the magic of Kelly Kane’s rocket arm has HER team’s TD always being 8 points and negates the advantage the PPGs have. Come From Behind vs Not So Sticky is ALWAYS a hell of a game. Can’t Touch This vs The Malones is D2 finals worthy and they’ll meet before that. Not to mention that the last two TSL Champions - Eyes Downtown and Sticky Bandits meet in the first round. Is there a game that doesn’t really have ANY intrigue? What game are you most excited for? 

 

TSLQBPRC: Can’t Touch This vs The Malones should be incredible.  We have just NO idea who’s going to win that, and that’s what makes football great.  The whole D2 playoff bracket should be fantastic actually.   Does it dampen the excitement of “seeing someone move up to D1” now that they’ll continue to play D2 teams in the future? (Assuming that’s what happens; we have no idea what the future holds for the D1/D2 Super Division.)  Maybe a bit, but a championship’s a championship, and all four of the D2 teams left deserve to celebrate one.  Outside of that division, we think the brains of Wanderers vs the speed of Jabronies could be pretty exciting finals, if both teams are able to make it.  After watching Wanderers fall short the last few seasons, it really DOES feel like this is their chance to finally break through and win one.  For the reigning TSL Best at Bar Team, that should be an amazing celebration.

 

GF: There’s a lot of great games this week, and how about instead of talking about them, let’s predict them! 

 

D1 

 

Last Week’s Game

 

#4 Frodo Swaggins 51, #5 Freeballers 34

 

The Story: Frodo Swaggins wins easily to set up the top 4 seeds to battle it out for the D1 title. The Wet Bandits look to continue to dominate their way to cap off an amazing season, but old foes Eyes Downtown and the defending champion Sticky Bandits stand in the way. 

 

#1 Wet Bandits (9-0) vs #4 Frodo Swaggins (4-4-1)

 

PF: WB 46.44 (1st) - Frodo 35.11 (3rd) 

PA: WB 26.78 (1st) - Frodo 31.56 (3rd) 

TSL Rank: WB 2nd, Frodo 26th

Last 3: WB 3-0, Frodo 1-1

Past Games: 50-31, WB

Line: Wet Bandits (-10)

 

GF: The Wet Bandits have been absolutely on another level this season. Two straight seasons of not winning the title really has them focused on getting that title back. They have more focus than I’ve seen from them in past seasons. Last year they came in like they were thinking “oh man, we lost but that was a blip, we’ll get it back.” And then they didn’t. And they came back BIG TIME this Spring. There are two very capable teams standing in front of them. Frodo isn’t on that list. Sorry Garrett. WET BANDITS BY 13

 

TSLQBPRC: Frodo had their best season since joining D1.  They had competitive losses to Eyes Downtown and Sticky Bandits, they beat Freeballers, and they were 9 points away from sweeping their D2 games.  This is a MUCH improved Frodo Swaggins team than we’ve seen in the past.  That said: they don’t do very well against Wet Bandits historically, and those games are rarely close.  Sorry Garrett.  WET BANDITS BY 18

#2 Eyes Downtown (8-1) vs #3 Sticky Bandits (5-4)

 

PF: ED 39.27 (2nd) - SB 34.41 (4th)

PA: ED 30.00 (2nd) - SB 36.67 (4th)

TSL Rank: ED 5th, SB 25th

Last 3: ED 4-0, SB 2-3

Past Games: 46-44 ED

Line: Eyes Downtown (-6)

 

TSLQBPRC: These teams played a 46-44 classic a couple weeks ago (which Eyes Downtown won) and they seem to meet in the playoffs every year now trading wins and losses.  They’re usually pretty equal head to head… but we’re clearly “stat people” on the TSLQBPRC, and Eyes Downtown just had the better numbers this year.  Hard to pick against Bobby here based on the Fall 2024 season, assuming both teams are at full strength.  EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

 

GF: Is a Sticky Bandits Championship Hangover a thing? They finally achieve a long term goal, winning the best title anyone can win in Social Co-Ed Football: Immortality. And the celebration from that win (and literal hangover, they’re getting old) has lasted this whole season. They’ve felt off, not unlike the way Eyes Downtown felt up until about Week 3 this season after their own win. Eyes Downtown really got it together, and they just feel like the hotter team right now. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 1

D1 Finals Predictions: 

 

GF: #1 vs #2 as the Wet Bandits and Eyes Downtown meet in a rematch from last Fall. That game was a classic, and honestly I think this one will be too. Both teams have been playing VERY good football for months, but as a “feelings guy” over the stats, I can only go one way, and that’s that the Wet Bandits reclaim the D1 title in a close one. WET BANDITS BY 2

TSLQBPRC: Stats AND feelings say the same thing: that this is Wet Bandits’ title to lose.  It would take a bit of a collapse on their part to lose the championship here, and (checks the weather…) we don’t think that’s going to happen.  Cue the “one more title to catch Public Enemy for best of all time” storyline… WET BANDITS BY 8

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#3 The Malones 48, #6 The Untouchaballs 27

#5 Scared Hitless 23, #4 Grey Hair Don’t Care 18

 

The Story: The Malones put the Untouchaballs’ worst season in a long time to bed, maybe forever. While Scared Hitless continues to show up and win when it matters most, moving on in a slight upset. The Mavericks and Can’t Touch This are fresh after a week off thanks to the bye week. 

#1 Mavericks (5-4) vs #5 Scared Hitless (2-7)

 

PF: Mavs 32.56 (3rd) - SH 28.75 (4th)

PA: Mavs 31.89 (1st) - SH 35.63 (5th)

TSL Rank: Mavs 16th, SH 46th

Last 3: Mavs 1-3, SH 0-3

Past Games: 42-40, Mavs

Line: Mavericks (-6)

TSLQBPRC: The Mavericks finished the season on a 0-3 run, which doesn’t usually bode well for playoffs.  Sure, they might have been phoning it in a bit because their first round bye was already locked up, but they haven’t won a meaningful competitive game since September.  Scared Hitless on the other hand… well they ALSO haven’t won a game since even EARLIER in September, so these aren’t exactly two teams hitting their stride at the right time.  Weak Momentum vs Weak Momentum… we’ll give the edge to the stronger talent.  MAVERICKS BY 9

GF: Yeah, but Scared Hitless has been in a LOT of games. If we replay the season 10 times, they probably average 3 more wins a season. And not to mention, they did just win a game, last week, against a pretty “Strong Momentum” Grey Hair Don’t Care. The Mavericks started out very hot, but as I’ve said in this very article that it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. The Mavs have been cold, and injuries to some of their awesome females is a big reason why. SCARED HITLESS BY 3

 

#2 Can’t Touch This (5-4) vs #3 The Malones (4-5)

 

PF: CTT 38.38 (2nd) - Malones 39.11 (1st)

PA: CTT 33.75 (3rd) - Malones 35.44 (4th)

TSL Rank: CTT 20th - Malones 27th

Last 3: CTT 2-2 - Malones 2-1

Past Games: 52-30 CTT

Line: Can’t Touch This (-3)

 

GF: Arguably the Game of the Day, for the Semis anyway. Can’t Touch This has been on a tear most of the season, they’ve beaten D1 teams, and they have to think to themselves that they might find themselves in D1 regardless of Saturday’s outcome next Spring. Those are big words, but they’ve shown they can play with the best teams in the league for sure. Meanwhile, they get The Malones, who didn’t have the strongest middle of the season, but they’ve recalibrated, gotten some players back, and started to really figure out the issues they were having. I wish this could be a 7 game series, but since it’s only 1 game, I have to flip a coin. THE MALONES BY 1

TSLQBPRC: We have nothing to add to that analysis, this is an absolute coin toss.  Malones by 1 is realistic.  Can’t Touch This winning by 12 is realistic.  Any outcome is possible here.  We’re going to lean on history for this matchup though and go with the squad that won by 22 the last time they played.  We expect the Malones will do MUCH better here, but Can’t Touch This is winning our “coin toss”.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 4

D2 Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: #1 Mavericks vs #2 Can’t Touch This.  We have SO little confidence that these are the teams that will be in the Finals, but D2 is so tight this year, it’s as good a guess as any.  Can’t Touch This has had success against Mavericks historically, but Mavericks took the win earlier this year.  It just seems like Can’t Touch This have been so dialed in since that loss (their LAST loss to a D2 team this season) that it’s hard to pick against them in the big moment.  Plus Ryan’s a stud.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 2

GF: #3 The Malones vs #5 Scared Hitless. Not the game I think anyone really would’ve guessed heading into the playoffs, but it's still a fun matchup nonetheless. These two met in Week 1 (a Malones win) and then they both had similar paths to get to this point, winning less than they may have deserved, etc. I think at the end of the day, The Malones are going to prove too quick for Scared Hitless. THE MALONES BY 7

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#9 Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 37, #8 Buffalo Vice 31

#1 Wanderers 40, #9 Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 12

#7 Passing While Intoxicated 37, #2 Mix’n It Up 32

#3 Jabronies 23, #6 Bullet Club 18

#5 Let’s Get Reccked 42, #4 Practice Squad 14

 

The Story: The biggest one, again, is the story of how Topper heroically came off the bench down 21-0 to lead TAST to victory against Vice before losing to the Wanderers. PWI continues their mystique of playoff success, even in a down year, beating the Kellers in a bit of a shocker. The Jabronies outlast Bullet Club in a tight game, and LGR ends up weathering the storm of “Playoff B” and Practice Squad to set up some interesting semi-final matchups. 

#1 Wanderers (8-1) vs #7 Passing While Intoxicated (3-6)

 

PF: Wanderers 37.50 (1st) - PWI 22.67 (8th)

PA: Wanderers 30.00 (6th) - PWI 30.00 (6th)

TSL Rank: Wanderers 6th, PWI 32nd

Last 3: Wanderers 3-0, PWI 1-3

Past Games: 46-37 Wanderers

Line: Wanderers (-10)

TSLQBPRC: Buddy Lee is an incredibly smart, creative, scrambling quarterback who elevates his teammates, turns busted plays into big gains, and always gives his team a chance.  The problem for PWI is that Wanderers have their OWN Buddy Lee and his name is Frank Laudico… plus they have Sal, Stoner Dave, Al Laudico, and many others.  This is a deep team and a playoff tested team.  Sure, they haven’t had the immediate playoff success we all expected in TSL, but did you really think you weren’t going to see more Wanderers in the D3 Finals?  We’re pretty confident they’ll be in this one.  WANDERERS BY 10

 

GF: Okay PWI, I see you. PWI stepped up in the playoffs when it mattered most and earned a big playoff win in their first season in D3. For a lot of teams, that’s a good season in itself, but for this squad, it’s par for the course. Historically, any time you count them out in the playoffs, they turn it on and end up being one of the best stories of the playoffs. After a couple of D4 seasons where they were favorites, they find themselves relishing the underdog role that’s in their DNA. Their reward? The Wanderers, one of the most decorated teams in minor league Social Co-Ed Football history, who are still looking for their first title since coming up to the big leagues. They’ve been close, many times, and they’ve added some talent along the way. This team is really good, and if there is indeed a “Playoff Lee”, this is where he’d be born. Not just yet though. WANDERERS BY 8

#3 Jabronies (6-3) vs #5 Let’s Get Reccked (6-3)

 

PF: Jabronies 27.88 (7th) - LGR 34.25 (3rd)

PA: Jabronies 24.88 (2nd) - LGR 27.63 (4th)

TSL Rank: Jabronies 10th, LGR 13th

Last 3: Jabronies 3-1, LGR 4-0
Past Games: 30-8 Jabronies

Line: EVEN

 

GF: The Jabronies had themselves a hell of a defensive battle against Bullet Club last week, scoring all of their points in the beginning and at the end of the game to hold on for a win. They get Let’s Get Reccked, who looked so good last week that they could’ve won with only 5 people on the field anyway. This is always a good rivalry game, and it’s fun having those in the playoffs. I was going to go with LGR, but then I had gotten some info that they’re going to be missing just about everyone this week apparently, so it’s hard not to give the Jabronies the win here if that’s true. JABRONIES BY 7

 

TSLQBPRC: The regular season matchup wasn’t particularly close as Jabronies beat down Let’s Get Reccked 30-8.  Looking back on our write-ups, it seems like Let’s Get Reccked was short handed for that game too, but as you’ve just said, things don’t sound like they’ll be any better for them this week without Recckio and others.  Evenly matched, this could have been a classic between old rivals.  But it’s hard to pick LGR if they’re anything less than full strength against the duo of Joe Miano and Eric Kleckler.  JABRONIES BY 11

D3 Finals Prediction

TSLQBPRC: #1 Wanderers vs #3 Jabronies.  We said it above and we’ll repeat it here - the brains of the Wanderers (not that they don’t also have speed) vs the speed of Jabronies (not that they don’t also have brains) is going to be exciting to watch.  This game should come down to the final minutes (and probably some controversial call that leaves the loser furious) but if either Stoner or Sal can contain Eric even a little bit, we’re just not sure Jabronies have the depth to keep up with the rest of their lineup.  WANDERERS BY 5

GF: #1 Wanderers vs #3 Jabronies. While the Wanderers always tend to play close games, these two have always had some battles in recent memory. Wanderers won by 4 points in Week 1, but last season the Jabronies beat the Wanderers I believe. I think this is going to be a heck of a matchup, but I’m not sure the Jabronies offense will be able to keep up with Frank and Co over the course of this game, unless the Wanderers uncharacteristically make a lot of mistakes. WANDERERS BY 9

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Cunning Stunts 53, #8 Cobblestone 18

#2 Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers 36, #7 Select 33

#3 The Herd 47, #6 Creekers 22

#5 Vaspian 31, #4 GirthQuakes 21

 

The Story: The “Big 2” survive and move on, as the Stunts dismantle Cobblestone and ILF squeaks by a very magical showing by Select. The Herd gets a little bit of revenge on the Creekers, setting up a big 2v3 showdown. But it’s Vaspian that takes the cake this week, pulling off the upset over the GirthQuakes, which shouldn’t have been so surprising when you remember that it was the playoffs and the GQs have too much Freeballers DNA in them to ignore. 

#1 Cunning Stunts (9-0) vs #5 Vaspian (3-6)

 

PF: CS 51.00 (1st) - Vaspian 25.50 (6th)

PA: CS 30.00 (3rd) - Vaspian 31.88 (4th)

TSL Rank: CS 1st, Vaspian 30th

Last 3: CS 3-0, Vaspian 1-3

Past Games: 52-27 Stunts

Line: Cunning Stunts (-20)

 

GF: Vaspian made themselves the talk of the town for a weekend, as they showed up big time in their victory over the GQs, who were getting buzz at this time a week ago as the team that might be able to knock off the Stunts. Vaspian finds themselves in the role of “team that could end the Stunts’ season unexpectedly” this week, but even if Vaspian played the shut down defense they used to employ a few seasons ago, I still can’t see them keep up with this ridiculous Stunts offense unless Derek Pew feels like chucking full field bombs every time and scoring on the first play every drive. CUNNING STUNTS BY 17

TSLQBPRC: Let’s assume the Stunts get stopped MAYBE twice in this game?  A bad bounce for a pick, one drive with some drops.  Worst case scenario, they’re still putting up like 44 points.  Can Vaspian score enough, especially with their girls, to put up 45?  It’s possible… but it feels like everything needs to go right for Vaspian and everything has to go WRONG for the Stunts.  And that makes our pick easy.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 19

#2 Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers (6-3) vs #3 The Herd (5-4)

 

PF: ILF 39.56 (2nd) - Herd 37.00 (3rd)

PA: ILF 28.49 (2nd) - Herd 38.22 (6th)

TSL Rank: ILF 12th, Herd 18th

Last 3: ILF 2-2, Herd 1-2

Past Games: 45-22 ILFers, 37-36 The Herd

Line: EVEN

TSLQBPRC: The Herd have improved tremendously this year, and it’s not JUST a credit to Mark (though that’s obvious - add a D1 champion QB to your team, and you will probably improve) but also to the entire team that they’ve grown so much this season.  They had (respectfully) zero chance to make any noise in the playoffs last season, and now they’re on the verge of a championship game. You don’t HAVE to win a championship to consider your season a success, and we think The Herd are definitely a success story either way.  That being said… we do expect it will be Big Daddy Jason & the ILFers playing in the D4 Finals game.  Mark is great, but so is Buddy Lee.  If we look at the rest of the roster, ILF (we’re calling them ILF in the Godfather, right?) just has more experience, and they’re in “championship or bust” mode right now, which the Herd can’t really relate to given this is the most successful season in their history.  Give me desperation and experience every time.  ILF BY 6

 

GF: Maybe it’s time to stop considering ILF one of the Big 2. They fattened their record getting Cobblestone twice (winning both games with a combined score of 82-24. If you don’t include those games, their average score is essentially 39-33, and in other words, maybe that defense isn’t as top notch as it appears. Add in that they’ve lost to GQs and The Herd in recent weeks, and struggled so badly against Select that there were reports of ILF guys yelling at ILF girls on the sidelines, and they seem to be in disarray. Meanwhile, The Herd is just out here winning games that aren’t against the Stunts. They proved the loss to the Creekers two weeks ago was a fluke as they handed the Creekers their ticket to the offseason last week. It’s amazing what a veteran QB can do as “should probably be the D4 QB of the year or at least a nominee” Mark Dalfonso has given this team an identity on offense. They’re just as good as ILF, and they don’t give off the vibes that things are falling apart internally. THE HERD BY 3

D4 Finals Prediction

 

GF: The Stunts vs The Herd. Everything in the world suggests the Stunts are going to win this game. They have the better offense, the better defense, arguably the better QB, but definitely the better females. They beat The Herd twice this season: 52-24 in Week 1 and 55-37 in Week 7. But history is not on the side of the Stunts, as we all know. So what is one supposed to do when history isn’t on their side? Well, you just make it yourself. 11-0. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13

TSLQBPRC: “What is one supposed to do when history isn’t on their side?  Well, you just make it yourself”.  Every season in our first article, we say “check out the Godfather if you want better writing”, and this is why.  We’ve picked different opponents for the Stunts in the Finals, and it’s worth repeating, ILF is quarterbacked by the man who beat the Stunts in LAST season’s Finals.  So clearly they have a chance, since Buddy knows what he’s doing here.  And yes, the Stunts have a history of collapse in these big moments.  But not with a 19-0 Joey Batts (he’ll be 19-0 by the time of the Finals!) throwing to Katie AND Mel AND Maddie AND Brandy AND Taylor AND all the other talent on this squad.  This team is too good to fail.  They might win D3 next season too.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Power Puff Girls 50, #8 Spinelli’s Plumbing 18

#2 Come From Behind 42, #7 Pit Harade 25

#6 GUCCI 42, #3 Two Tuddies 36

#5 Not So Sticky 18, #4 Stir The Sauce 14

 

The Story: The PPGs continue the gender team dominance this season as they wipe the floor with Spinelli’s. Come From Behind made plays again and again to get themselves past Pit Harade. The Tud Buds come up short in a fantastic game against GUCCI, who get to be the plucky underdogs for once in the playoffs. And lastly, Not So Sticky takes advantage of STS having to use their backup QB and plays shutdown defense to move on in the playoffs. 

#1 Power Puff Girls (7-2) vs #6 GUCCI (3-6)

 

PF: PPG 37.78 (1st) - GUCCI 24.33 (6th)

PA: PPG 26.22 (4th) - GUCCI 31.67 (6th)

TSL Rank: PPG 7th, GUCCI 38th

Last 3: PPG 3-0, GUCCI 1-3

Past Games: 42-41 GUCCI, 51-36 PPG

Line: Power Puff Girls (-6)

TSLQBPRC: Gender team vs “Gender Team”.  PowerPuff Girls had the better season for sure.  Against a neutral team, we would take their chances over GUCCI’s chances all day.  But isn’t this the PERFECT matchup for GUCCI?  They have the size advantage and the speed advantage, AND they’re scoring 8 points per touchdown just like PowerPuff Girls.  Who’s going to win jump balls between these teams?  The PowerPuff Girls (and Kyle… and Cody!) are incredible enough offensively that they should be able to keep up with the scoring and make it a game.  But they’re going to be at a disadvantage on defense, and we think that could be the difference maker.  GUCCI BY 2

 

GF: Oh, hey there GUCCI. The preseason favorites find themselves as the lowest remaining seed in the playoffs after a season that can only be described as “not so great”. 3-6? Brutal. Injuries? Brutal. Kelly Kane? Delightful. They get the #1 seeded Power Puff Girls, who have been on a tear most of the season. These teams played twice in the regular season and split the games, so a rubber match is a must watch scenario. GUCCI beat the PPG in the beginning of the season (it was Week 3, but it was Game 1 for GUCCI!), back when birds were chirping and everyone was healthy, and then as injuries piled up, so did the losses, including a big loss to the PPG. The PPGs have had injuries of their own of course, but they hadn’t felt as drastic as the ones GUCCI dealt with. GUCCI negating the gender TD advantage is also huge. At the end of the day, both teams are incredibly talented, but only one can move on. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 1

#2 Come From Behind (7-2) vs #5 Not So Sticky (4-5)

 

PF: CFB 37.00 (2nd) - NSS 22.11 (7th)

PA: CFB 19.67 (1st) - NSS 28.11 (5th)

TSL Rank: CFB 8th, NSS 28th

Last 3: CFB 3-0, NSS 1-2

Past Games: 48-22 CFB

Line: Come From Behind (-9)

 

GF: Hey, another “rivalry” game! While these two teams wouldn’t consider each other their rival so to speak, they’ve played a LOT of great games over the years in both the regular season and the playoffs. It’s fitting that they meet again in a season where NSS isn’t exactly killing it on the field but CFB really is. The last time this happened was also in the playoffs, CFB was expected to win big, and Not So Sticky pulled off a fantastic upset. Eerily similar to this game right here. Do NOT count out NSS pulling off an upset, but I’m not bold enough to pick it here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

TSLQBPRC: Come From Behind has a STRONG advantage in this game.  The regular season game wasn’t close, and Not So Sticky are without Rick Recckio?  NSS did pull off the upset win last time in the playoffs, so maybe they have a trick for getting to Paul when it matters… but it’s tough to imagine tricks making up the 26 point difference from the last time these two teams played.  Not So Sticky is one of the better defensive teams in the lower divisions with all that “veteran savvy”, but Paul just has so many more weapons.  COME FROM BEHIND BY 11

D5 Finals Predictions

TSLQBPRC: GUCCI was a higher seeded team the last couple of seasons and yet they’ve disappointed in the playoffs.  Are they going to have more luck with a lower seed and possibly lower expectations?  Maybe.  They SHOULD have been better this season, so we don’t really view them as your usual #6 seed.  That said, Come From Behind HAVE been playing the part of a #2 seed all season, and they just look so dialed in right now.  GUCCI has the talent and QB to make this a game, but I think it’s finally Come From Behind’s time to celebrate the big one.  COME FROM BEHIND BY 2

 

GF: #1 vs #2, arguably the way it should be in D5. These two were the cream of the crop this season, and as Macho Man once said, the “cream rises to the top”. PPG beat CFB in Week 1 of the season, which if I know anything is at least two weeks before Paul starts throwing, and I don’t believe the ageless QB was a part of that game. Both teams have fantastic offenses that average 37 points a game. The difference? CFB has one of the best defenses in the league, allowing less than 20 points a game. They’re all fast (even Molly and Leslie), and they’re all smart, especially “not young guy who plays the middle but is super fast and does all the things better than anyone on both sides of the ball’. If both teams have everyone, we’re going to see a barnburner here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Blitzkrieg 47, #8 Dogg Pound 20

#2 Sausage McMuffins 28, #7 TMA 26

#3 Sticky Laces 40, #6 Balls Deep 16

#4 Day By Day 47, #5 Purple Nurples 6

 

The Story: The Top 4 seeds moved on, which is an accomplishment in itself (whatever D1, you only have 5 teams). This SHOULD be the Blitzkrieg vs McMuffins on a head to head collision weekend, but after the McMuffins’ escape of TMA last week coupled with Blitzkrieg vs history, you’d like to think maybe it isn’t going to be that easy. We have the Top 3 offenses remaining, and 4 of the 5 top defenses left here as well, which means we should have some good football this weekend, as Sticky Laces and Day By Day are formidable foes who have their sights set on the D6 title as well. 

#1 Blitzkrieg (8-1) vs #4 Day By Day (5-4)

 

PF: BK 39.33 (1st) - DBD 28.00 (3rd)

PA: BK 18.44 (2nd) - DBD 25.67 (4th)

TSL Rank: BK 3rd, DBD 24th

Last 3: BK 3-0, DBD 1-2

Past Games: 29-25 DBD

Line: Blitzkrieg (-7)

 

GF: I’ve been a Blitzkrieg fan for a very long time, and it’s becoming the TSL’s version of being a Bills fan. They’re constantly a top team, favorites to win the title, and then playoff disappointment. They know it too. This season has been a hell of a journey for Fall BK, as they’ve been scoring lots of points and not really allowing much either. Domination is on both sides of the ball for them every single week, except for one. And that one, OF COURSE, is the 1 behind the 1 in 8-1, Day By Day. You can look at this one of two ways. On one hand, history is mocking Blitzkrieg and setting them against an opponent that has had a fantastic season, already defeated them once (to give BK a mental ‘oh crap’), and they keep getting better day by day. Perfect recipe for another BK playoff failure. Or, on the other hand, fate has delivered them the only blip they had on this season, and it gives them a chance to right their only wrong of this season of destiny. I’m choosing the latter. BLITZKRIEG BY 4

 

TSLQBPRC: It’s easy to fall into the trap of a convenient narrative like “Blitzkrieg chokes in the playoffs”.  They HAVE, over the years, it’s clearly true.  But every season is different and THIS season they’ve done pretty damn well.  Day by Day is a much improved team from their Just Joshing season, and they’ll be competitive until the final minutes.  But we expect the #1 seed to play like the #1 seed and give us the Finals we’re all expecting in D6 (oh, was that a spoiler for our next pick?)  BLITZKRIEG BY 8

#2 Sausage McMuffins (8-1) vs #3 Sticky Laces (6-3)

 

PF: SMM 35.67 (2nd) - SL 23.11 (6th)

PA: SMM 16.89 (1st) - SL 28.33 (5th)

TSL Rank: SMM 4th, SL 15th

Last 3: SMM 4-0, SL 3-1

Past Games: 38-18 SMM

Line: Sausage McMuffins (-16)

TSLQBPRC: The McMuffins didn’t play their best ball last week against TMA and were almost victims of an early round upset.  But champions get their shit together when they have to, and the McMuffins did just enough to move on.  There were two great teams in D6 this session, and Sausage McMuffins were one of them.  Sticky Laces had an amazing season which was a huge improvement over their debut in the Spring, but they don’t have a signature win against a top opponent yet.  We don’t think they’re going to get it on Saturday.  SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 10

 

GF: For as much as the season has focused on Blitzkrieg, let’s try not to forget that the McMuffins are a VERY good team that was also 8-1 and they have the best defense in the division. As long as their offense is humming, they can beat anyone. They only scored less than 30 points twice now: once against BK in the regular season, and last week against TMA. Sticky Laces has a bit of the “nobody believes in us” swagger, as they dunked on Balls Deep last week. The stats suggest they’re the worst team remaining, yes, but they don’t measure character and moxie. Sadly, the worst thing to happen for the Laces is that the McMuffins had their upset scare last week, and they’re going to come in even more focused this time. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 14

D6 Finals Predictions

 

GF: Blitzkrieg vs Sausage McMuffins, just as everyone thought. The top two teams in D6 get to meet in a winner take all battle that SHOULD be a good one, pitting the top two offenses and defenses in the division against one another. Blitzkrieg won 33-22 in Week 3 in their only meeting this season. Both teams are deserving of this title, and it’s almost a shame we can’t name them co-champions. I hope this goes to overtime or something too. Blitzkrieg, I’ve taken you to win the title so many times that I almost want this win as much as you do. BK looks better going into this game, and they have the better story of finally capturing the title. Historically that means I’d pick them to win it all, and then somehow that curses them. I want to pick BK, but I can’t put that evil on them again, so Blitzkrieg, I’m doing this for you. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 2

TSLQBPRC: We ALSO hope this goes to overtime (to hell with keeping the games on schedule!) because this should be an absolute battle.  Upsets are fun and they make the TSL playoff season so exciting every year… but sometimes you just want to watch the top two teams go at it, and we think that’s what will happen in the D6 Finals game on Saturday.  How do you pick a winner here?  Blitzkrieg won their only meeting, so that’s a pretty good start.  And they crushed Dogg Pound last week so they’re coming off of a more inspiring performance than Sausage McMuffins.  Okay, we’ve talked ourselves into it.  We’re ready to get hurt again.  BLITZKRIEG BY 3  

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

• There you have it. The predictions are done. How strongly do you feel about them? 

 

 

TSLQBPRC: Oh, as badly as we always do about our predictions.  It’s the playoffs!  All it takes is one bad bounce on the first drive to completely flip the moment of a game.  Nobody REALLY knows what’s going to happen, beyond the Stunts scoring 100+ points on Saturday.  We feel safe in that prediction.

 

GF: It’s impossible to feel strongly about any predictions when Championship Saturday is upon us. I’ve picked the 1, 3, 1, 1, 2, 2 (but kinda 1) seeds, which feels about right, but I’ve pretty much learned just to expect the unexpected, which is why I can’t wait to see what unexpected thing occurs. 

 

 

• Which #1 seed do you think is most ripe to be upset? 

 

 

GF: At this point I’d have to say the Mavericks in D2. Injuries and bad luck have contributed to their hot start fizzling out a bit, and while they have some of the best vibes people in the league, other teams are just playing better right now. 

 

TSLQBPRC: Mavericks are a great choice because they’re third in their division in point differential per game when you strip out the D1 crossover games.  Still a great team, but vulnerable.  But so is Blitzkrieg, so are Wanderers, so is PowerPuff Girls (the only #1 seed we didn’t choose to make their championship game!) so there’s LOTS of uncertainty across every division.

 

• Which low seeded team do you think has the best chance to pull off a major championship upset? 

 

 

TSLQBPRC:  We really like GUCCI.  They had a miserable season, but their schedule was really weird with all doubleheaders, and they didn’t lose any talent on that team as far as we can tell.  Plus no one in D5 strikes us as unbeatable.  It would be a fun story if they took the ship as a #6 seed.

 

GF: I think it has to be Day By Day in D6. They have a good offense, and a good defense. They’ve already beaten Blitzkrieg once. The McMuffins didn’t look great last week. Sticky Laces has some growing to do. If Day By Day pulls off the upset as the 4 seed, that would be shocking, but they have the best chance to do it I think. 

 

• Regardless of outcomes, what team should move up a division that you’re most excited to see do so in the Spring? 

 

 

GF: I think seeing what the McMuffins or Blitzkrieg (or both! Go up together!) could do in D5 would be really cool, but realistically I want the Power Puff Girls to jump up to D4 no matter what happens just so we can get the PPG vs Stunts (if Stunts don’t get to D3 anyway) gender team battle we all want to see. 

 

TSLQBPRC: Great call on the gender team battles.  Give the people what they want!  But we say take your pick of any of the top three D2 teams.  Mavericks, Can’t Touch This, Malones… you’re ready to make the jump.  Go for that D1 championship!

 

 

• What is your Breakfast Club Prediction?

 

 

TSLQBPRC:  Garrett is still better than Langley, right?  Okay, we’re going Dri Girls 1 Cup 40, Steph Infection 34.  And we hope to God that Langley gets to attempt a “Breakfast Club Onside Kick” at the end of this one.

 

GF: Fall Breakfast Club had some concerns going into it, but it turned out to be pretty great. Having Dri’s team being in the championship game a second season in a row shows she must have some good chemistry with Garrett or something. Standing her way of a BC title is none other than Steph Infection, one of the greatest BC franchises we’ve seen in the history of the sport. The irony, of course, is that Garrett was Steph’s “go to” QB for a lot of those title wins. He knows how that team plays. Dri Girls 1 Cup 37, Steph Infection 34

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• It isn’t supposed to rain, which is awesome because that won’t skew the results there in Buffalo. But it IS supposed to be colder than any week we’ve had this season, and that could ruin the flow of some of these “warm weather” teams. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• ALL OF THEM. ITS CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

 

• The worst thing about Championship Saturday for a TSLer is not having any games to play in. But just because you’re not playing doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show up to the fields to have a drink and say goodbye to the fields until next April! (Or until later that night for the TSL Halloween party, and then April.)

 

 

 

• I wonder just how bad Joey Batts’ arm is going to be by the 4th game he’ll potentially be playing in at 4:00pm in the D1 finals. Maybe he takes himself out of a Cunning Stunts game early if they’re winning by a lot? But getting your arm warm for 10 and 11 and having to wait until 3:00 to play again isn’t ideal, but that’s the price you pay for having two teams I guess. 

 

 

 

• Get yourself signed up for the TSL Banquet asap. Friday, December 13th, 2024 at the Marriott on Millersport in Amherst. Click the link here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1MvDCK_qsTQdRv1rx6lU9IVVLAdldLsGwlZDZZMSdTBY/edit

 

 

 

• Signing up for the Banquet isn’t enough!  Fill out the awards nomination form too.  People love to complain that the “finalists weren’t right” or that the League “didn’t pick the right winner”.  Ladies and gentlemen… it’s a vote.  CAST your vote, make your voice be heard, and the League will get the winners right. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1EvE2dgxslCyzp413m3FTk1gNF_3GJT3SUCyA_Or_hWg/edit#response=ACYDBNj0rYkLp1-queBCylbi5iZumKxBiwzX__dH0TfTccJ7BQk79arLZ_XUhn20ImtoIOQ

 

 

 

• It bears repeating every week, and especially every week for playoffs, but don’t be a dick to your refs!  Head of Officiating Garrett Beesing scheduled the absolute BEST he could gather this week.  So don’t blame the officiating for “that one missed holding call” when you lose 36-6 on Saturday.

 

 

 

• WINTER IS COMING (does that Game of Thrones reference still work in 2024?)  Registration for the TSL’s indoor session is now OPEN and teams have already started signing up.  Do you really want to sit out the entire winter?  Let’s get some new teams to sign up this year… especially some lower division teams so we can make a good “recreational” division: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Nx30rvnmP1BjB44M5NWZFPEIsGHsyJl0w6pNLOlmf1Y/edit#responses

 

 

 

• After Topper’s miraculous win (and subsequent defeat) last week, are we going to see him at the fields on Saturday?  Or will he fade away forever so that our lasting memory will be seeing him in his prime one more time?

 

 

 

• Nobody likes a litter bug.  Pick up after yourself!

 

The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality is coming around the turn and heading down the stretch to the finish line. Which side of history are you going to be on? 

-GF OUT