PLAYOFF THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 20 June 2025 19:49

Published: Friday, 20 June 2025 19:49

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 846

“Looks Like We Made It.” - Shania Twain

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, I am excited to announce that the official start of the Spring 2025 Race To Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is upon us! On Saturday, June 21st, in the Year of Our Lord 2025 48 of the 54 TSL Franchises will begin competing for one of the 7 Championships to declare who the Best In The World at Social Co-Ed Touch Football are. (For anyone that continues to dispute this from the minor leagues around the area, our champions are always willing to put that to the test, you have the open invite to come give it a go.)

 

“But Godfather, why only 48 of the 54 teams? I thought everyone made the playoffs?”. You see, while that is true, you must remember that we’ve already lost D’s Nutz and Jen-X in the Breakfast Club playoffs that started last week, so they went down swinging with honor and prestige. As for the other 4? These teams willingly decided to give up their chances at immortality. In the case of Show Me Your TDs, we get it. Your pride made you think to yourself “We’re super sweet at football, we should easily be in D2!”. The problem was that you thought you were sweet because you were playing against yourselves, not others. A few humble pies later (and we know damn well this is just the guys’ egos that caused this, no offense to the ladies who more than likely had no idea what they were in for) and you tapped out. I hope you regroup in the summer and give this a go again in the Fall 2025 season, and it’s perfectly okay to start out in D6 and to change your team name so people don’t know it’s you. Either way, you’re excused. 

 

But Vaspian? Stir The Sauce? STICKY LACES? I’m disappointed in you. I was told this was a combination of poorly timed weddings and/or injuries. 3 of our franchises giving up like that just seems wrong. Vaspian has been a staple of the league for a while now, and they had been playing very good football, so it’s a shame to see them not play on the biggest stage. Stir The Sauce didn’t have a great season, sure, but league icon Wrestler Dan Farinacci turning from face to chickenshit heel and running from the playoffs wasn’t on my bingo card. Lastly, Sticky Laces finish off one of the TSL’s greatest tragedies of a season by giving up. How they allowed someone in their family (i think) to schedule a wedding during the TSL playoffs is beyond me, unless it's revenge for not letting them play on the team? From title favorites to D6 duds, what a season they had. 

 

But, enough about the quitters. This is about the 48 teams still alive for Immortality. Shout out to the Legends, Eyes Downtown, Can’t Touch This, The Malones, Mavericks, and ILF for earning bye weeks. Getting through Playoff Saturday is one of the most difficult tasks a team can face, be it a #1 seed or a #10 seed. If you’re new to the league, Playoff Saturday in the TSL is essentially the same as the first two days of March Madness. There are always some surprise upsets, very rarely do we “go chalk”. The problem is trying to figure out exactly WHO is going to pull off these upsets. Usually a team that’s been hot for a couple of weeks now and found their stride at the right time do pretty well, but also there’s a veteran team or two that has laid dormant for most of the year that turns it up to 11 now that the bright lights are on the games matter more than ever. Being able to avoid playing this weekend is the first step towards immortality. But for the 42 teams that still have to play this weekend, including some who will have doubleheaders, all eyes are on them. 

 

At this point, your group chat has had the pump up texts from someone on the team. “It doesn’t matter what happened in the regular season, everyone is 0-0 now!” or “It’s a brand new season!” type of stuff. However, they’re right. The regular season exists to prepare you for surviving these next two weeks. And that’s what you do. You survive. Surviving Playoff Saturday means you’ll be one of the 24 teams lucky enough to be playing on Championship Saturday, where the Road to Immortality brings you to a grueling back to back doubleheader against your toughest foes, and winning them both means you’ve EARNED your championship. Can you earn your immortality? Isn’t that why you’re here? 

 

Do you have what it takes? 

D1

 

The Contenders

 

Legends (2-1)

 

Eyes Downtown (2-1)

The “Don’t Look Past Us Or You’ll Get Got” Contender

 

Sticky Bandits (6-1)

The Other Two

 

Frodo Swaggins (10-1)

What A Dump (10-1)

Freeballers

 

Freeballers (101-1)

The Story: This looks like we’re headed for a Legends - Eyes Downtown title game for the ages. Those two teams have been heads and shoulders above the others for the entire season. The Sticky Bandits didn’t have the greatest of seasons, but once they’re at full power in the playoffs, they’ve shown what they can do. They just made their path to another potential title a bit harder is all. Frodo Swaggins improved by a good margin this season, and they earned 3rd place in D1. But they still falter against the top teams and they’ll need some luck to carry them further than where they are now. What A Dump had a slow start but they’ve picked it up a bit in recent weeks, and now they’ve activated “Dark Horse” status for sure. The Freeballers always seemed “THIS CLOSE” to a win this season but could never quite pull it off. While I could see an upset in the first round for them, they won’t be able to hang with the top teams. 

 

Bye Weeks: Legends, Eyes Downtown

 

#3 FRODO SWAGGINS (5-3) VS #6 FREEBALLERS (1-7)

 

PF: Frodo 30.25 (3rd) - FB 25.71 (6th)
PA: Frodo 32.88 (5th) - FB 38.86 (6th)

TSL Rank: Frodo 20th - FB 50th

Past Games: Frodo 41-37, Frodo 36-14

Line: Frodo Swaggins (-10)

 

The Freeballers COULD pull off an upset here, as shown by the narrow 4 point loss earlier this season, however, it feels unlikely. They’re still a decent distance behind the rest of D1, but some continuity heading into next season should help close that gap. As for Frodo, they worked hard to get to this point in the franchise’s history, and I don’t think they’ll lose focus for this one or look ahead to next week without taking care of business. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 18

#4 STICKY BANDITS (4-4) VS #5 WHAT A DUMP (3-5)

 

PF: SB 27.88 (4th) - WAD 26.25 (5th)

PA: SB 29.50 (3rd) - WAD 30.25 (4th)

TSL Rank: SB 25th - WAD 33rd

Past Games: Sticky 27-21

Line: Sticky Bandits (-3) 

The Sticky Bandits haven’t really had a great win all year, against a D1 team that is. They beat Frodo by 6, WAD by 6, and Freeballers by 7. Not exactly shoe-ins to do some playoff damage. They haven’t won a D1 game in a little bit, and perhaps they’ve lost their fastball? WAD had a good end to the season, including getting an almost win against Eyes Downtown. They’re starting to figure out what works for them this season, which is a key component for a dangerous team come playoff time. WHAT A DUMP BY 2

D2

 

The Contenders

 

Can’t Touch This (3-1)

The Malones (4-1)

Mavericks (8-1)

 

The Pretenders

 

Jabronies (15-1)

Scared Hitless (25-1)

The Story: Can’t Touch This ran roughshod over the division (only getting beaten by the Legends in the crossover game last week) however, The Malones started to pick up steam by the end of the season and you simply can’t count out the defending champions, even if they’re having a down year. The Top 3 teams have put themselves in a tier above the Jabronies and Scared Hitless, as predicted earlier this year. Show Me Your TDs existed in this world just to let others pad stats I guess, and to apparently give The Malones a surprise week off. Ah well. 

 

Bye Weeks: Can’t Touch This, Mavericks, The Malones

#4 JABRONIES (3-5) VS #5 SCARED HITLESS (2-6)

 

PF: Jabronies 23.43 (5th) - SH 30.86 (4th)

PA: Jabronies 34.86 (5th) - SH 34.57 (4th)

TSL Rank: Jabronies 37th - SH 45th

Past Games: Jabronies 44-14, Jabronies 29-22

Line: EVEN

 

The Jabronies came into the season with hopes of just competing with the other D2 teams, and needless to say, they kind of failed at that goal, mostly getting dunked on by the Top 3. The 3 wins were the 2 against SH, and a forfeit win over SMYTDs. This season was more of a learning experience anyway. Scared Hitless got the feel good 90 point win not too long ago, but the better look is when they beat The Malones 43-34. That’s the Scared Hitless people come to expect to see, and they’re a team that has built a reputation on showing up in the playoffs. This game is going to be more like the 29-22 game they recently played compared to the blowout. It all comes down to who wants it more, and in the playoffs, that tends to be Scared Hitless. SCARED HITLESS BY 6

D3

 

The Wanderers

 

Wanderers (2-1)

 

The “Non-Wanderers” Contenders: 

 

Practice Squad (6-1)

Passing While Intoxicated (6-1)

Cunning Stunts (7-1)

Bullet Club (8-1)

Becca Gets Reccked (8-1)

Buffalo Vice (8-1)

 

The Spunky Old Vet Team You Can’t Sleep On:

D-Generation X, Y, and Z (10-1)

 

The Pretenders

 

716 (716-1)

Girthquakes (150-1)

 

The Story: The Wanderers were a super squad all season, deviating from the “last second one score victory” mantra they’ve done for a long time. In fact, the only D3 teams they didn’t beat by over a touchdown this year are: Becca Gets Reccked (4 point win), PWI (3 point win), and Bullet Club (they didn’t play this season). You could also point out the Practice Squad game (9 point win) as a “closer” game, but needing a Gender TD and the extra point means there’s a lot more work involved to beat them than “score with anyone”. After that, D3 continued to be the most fun division top to bottom. Actually picking a top contender to play in the finals against the Wanderers feels like a fool’s errand. Practice Squad, PWI, the Stunts, Bullet Club, BGR, Vice, and yes, DXYZ all have beaten or tied each other in mostly close games. DXYZ suffers a bit for having to play in the 8v9 game first. 716 (who’s actual odds came in at 50-1, but 716-1 is just comedy that writes itself) had a good start to the year completely fall apart, and the Girthquakes did what they could do after losing some players they didn’t expect to lose to start the year. 

#7 BUFFALO VICE (3-4-1) VS #10 GIRTHQUAKES (1-7)

 

PF: Vice 31.50 (7th) - GQ 19.88 (10th)

PA: Vice 36.75 (6th) - GQ 36.88 (8th)

TSL Rank: Vice 32nd - GQ 52nd

Past Games: Vice 27-6

Line: Vice (-8) 

 

Buffalo Vice found themselves losing out on the tiebreaker against BGR (The team they didn’t play this season) by a measly 5 points in the point differential tiebreaker category. As a result, they get to play a bonus game! While Vice just easily handled GQ a couple of weeks ago, this game will largely depend on which GQ team shows up. There’s the GQ team that beat the Cunning Stunts, lost to Practice Squad by 4, and lost by 1 to DXYZ, and then there’s the GQ team that gets stomped by whoever they play. Either way I don’t think the Quakes can keep up in the scoring race here. BUFFALO VICE BY 14

 

#8 716 (3-5) vs #9 D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z (2-5-1)

 

PF: 716 31.43 (8th) - DXYZ 24.88 (9th)

PA: 716 43.00 (10th) - DXYZ 31.50 (4th)

TSL Rank: 716 38th - DXYZ 40th

Past Games: 716 40-28

Line: D-Generation X, Y, and Z (-5)

 

716 comes in as the higher seed, but DXYZ are the betting favorites here. 716 had a good start to the year, but then the wheels fell off for one reason or another (attendance issues, for one) and they plummeted down the standings. They’re one of the coldest teams in the TSL currently while the Kellers have played a LOT of close games that they just couldn’t pull out. Having their full team should probably help as well. They know how to win. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 7

#1 WANDERERS (8-0) VS #9 D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z (2-5-1)

 

PF: Wanderers 47.88 (1st) - DXYZ 24.88 (9th)

PA: Wanderers 27.00 (2nd) - DXYZ 31.50 (4th)

TSL Rank: Wanderers 2nd  - DXYZ 40th

Past Games: Wanderers 35-16

Line: Wanderers (-12)

 

The Wanderers win games by an average of nearly 21 points, which is crazy given how close D3 is top to bottom. In this timeline, they get to play a DXYZ team that they beat by 19 earlier in the season. I can’t imagine the Wanderers losing this one, but I think we’re going to see them go back to their “win by a late one score” ways here. DXYZ gives them a run for their money. WANDERERS BY 2

#2 PRACTICE SQUAD (5-3) VS #7 BUFFALO VICE (3-4-1)

 

PF: PS 33.57 (4th) - Vice 31.50 (7th)

PA: PS 26.86 (1st) - Vice 36.75 (6th)

TSL Rank: PS 14th - Vice 32nd

Past Games: Vice 38-37

Line: Practice Squad (-3)

 

Practice Squad shook off an early 0-2 start (including the loss to Vice) to go 5-1 down the stretch, with the only loss coming to the Wanderers. They boast D3’s top ranked defense, which is an impressive feat given the toughness of the division, and like it or not, the offense will get a boost as “Playoff B” comes to town. Few QBs in TSL history have stepped it up in the playoffs more than B has in his career, not to mention when he gets to play a team he’s already lost to once during the season. Unlike his beloved Jets, it’s hard to beat B twice in a season. Add in the fact that Vice will have already played a game and things don’t look good for them here. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 13

 

#3 PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED (5-3) VS #6 BECCA GETS RECCKED (3-4-1)

 

PF: PWI 42.88 (3rd) - BGR 32.13 (6th)

PA: PWI 34.38 (5th) - BGR 36.75 (6th)

TSL Rank: PWI 17th - BGR 31st

Past Games: PWI 48-37

Line: Passing While Intoxicated (-5)

 

PWI’s hot start to the season started to fizzle a little bit once they started getting into the meat of their schedule, but they did manage to beat BGR by 11 during that stretch. The tough part is going to be preparing for a BGR team that may end up with the entire team showing up, or will they have some players missing? BGR has a history of showing up in the playoffs and treating the regular season like a fun house, so I’d assume they’ll all be there with bells on. Buddy Lee has put together a QB of the Year campaign for PWI, as has TD Tori for D3 Female of the Year (too bad we don’t do Spring only awards), but one has to wonder if PWI will be feeling the pressure of being a front runner when they’re usually the team that surprises? BGR feels a bit too rough this season though and “the vibes are off” as the kids say. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 4

 

#4 CUNNING STUNTS (4-3-1) VS #5 BULLET CLUB (3-3-2)

 

PF: CS 43.50 (2nd) - BC 32.35 (5th)

PA: CS 37.38 (9th) - BC 30.00 (3rd)

TSL Rank: CS 21st - BC 28th

Past Games: TIE 46-46

Line: Cunning Stunts (-3)

 

The Stunts had an unfamiliar season for them, only winning half of their games in a season for the first time in forever. While the offense still figured out how to put up points, the Stunts’ defense has been having a little trouble adjusting to the higher division. Bullet Club ends up with a weird 3-3-2 record after an injury riddled season that saw them still compete in most games. There’s a world where they end up beating the Stunts and BGR instead of tying them, and they would probably like that game against 716 back as well, and all of a sudden they’re 6-2 and the talk of the town, non-Wanderers division. I expect another back and forth, close game here, and going chalk in D3 feels wrong anyway. BULLET CLUB BY 2

D4

 

The Contenders

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (3-1)

Mike’s Detailing (3-1)

Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks (5-1)

 

The Murky Middle

 

Puckett (8-1)

Tater Tots (8-1)

 

The Not This Time

 

Come From Behind (15-1)

 

Cobblestone

 

Cobblestone (1000-1)

The Story: ILF, Mike’s Detailing, and BWB have all distanced themselves from the rest of the pack, but with Puckett always ramping it up in the playoffs and the Tots having “Playoff B”, there’s potential for upsets. Come From Behind has had an up and down season that’s maybe been mostly down as of late, and Cobblestone might even show up for the playoffs! Oh, and Vaspian forfeited. Weak. 

Bye Week: ILF

 

#2 Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks (6-2) vs #8 Cobblestone (0-8)

 

PF: BWB 40.75 (1st) - Cobblestone 9.60 (8th)

PA: BWB 21.88 (1st) - Cobblestone 56.20 (8th)

TSL Rank: BWB 10th - Cobblestone 53rd

Past Games: BWB 56-8, BWB 88-14

Line: Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks (-20)

 

Cobblestone showed up for both games against BWB, but they would’ve been better off not doing so, getting outscored 144-22 in them. It was a tough season for Darryl Carr QB Superstar, as his teammates and his family members let him down this year by not showing up for games and making him look bad. How rude. BWB, on the other hand, had a pretty nice year, going 6-2 and rounding into a title contender, but their stats might be a TAD inflated from the Cobblestone games. But it won’t matter here. BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS BY 17

#3 Mike’s Detailing (5-3) vs #6 Come From Behind (3-5)

 

PF: MD 34.00 (3rd) - CFB 24.57 (6th)

PA: MD 24.86 (4th) - CFB 32.86 (7th)

TSL Rank: MD 12th - CFB 36th

Past Games: MD 41-12

Line: Mike’s Detailing (-8)

 

Mike’s Detailing showed yet another year of growth this season as they turned themselves into bonafide D4 title contenders. A 39-22 loss to the Tots was their only true hiccup on the season, as their other losses were by 3 to Puckett to start the season and then last week they lost by 2 to ILF, showing they have what it takes to win the whole shebang. Come From Behind didn’t have the best showing in D4, as their defense got beat up quite a bit, but they DID beat ILF this season, so they can’t ever be slept on. However, I don’t think MD is sleeping on anything right now. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

#4 PUCKETT (5-3) VS #5 TATER TOTS (4-4)

 

PF: Puckett 31.00 (4th) - TT 29.00 (5th)

PA: Puckett 31.50 (6th) - TT 30.88 (5th)

TSL Rank: Puckett 16th - TT 26th

Past Games: Puckett 60-28

Line: EVEN

 

From what I recall, the 60-28 thrashing was a result of the Tots not having a QB all game which led to that destruction. Assuming that isn’t happening again, the stage is set for one of the best games of the day, even on a day where every game is a game of the day. These two teams are very evenly matched. Puckett’s three losses were to the top 3 seeds in the division (although they did beat Mike’s Detailing as well), so they haven’t taken any weeks off and they prove they’re right on the edge of competing for the title. The Tots’ season wasn’t going too poorly before back to back weeks of getting destroyed. They ended up with a good win over Cobblestone to “get right” before playoffs, but it’ll be interesting to see if they really corrected whatever was going wrong before that. In a coin-flip game, give me the team that’s won 5 championships in their history. Here’s your inspiration, B. PUCKETT BY 7

D5

 

The Contenders

 

Powerpuff Girls (3-2)

The Best Chance To Get Slapped By The Powerpuff Girls

 

Two Tuddies (10-1)

 

The Former D6 Top Teams

 

Not So Sticky (12-1)

Sausage McMuffins (20-1)

Blitzkrieg (20-1)

 

The Pretenders

 

Jake From State Farm (30-1)

Mo’ Chicken (30-1)

Pit Harade (30-1)

The Story: To quote a random child from The Simpsons: “Stop! Stop! He’s already dead!”. In D5, you’re either the Powerpuff Girls or you don’t know your season is already over. The PPG led the entire TSL in offense this season, as they took “the leap” that gender teams eventually get to when they play together long enough. Other D5 teams have solid - good ladies, but nobody really has the full complement of stars needed to keep pace with the Powerpuffs. They went 8-0 for a reason and won every game by double digits. (Their closest game was 10 points against Blitzkrieg, who arguably has the best overall girls to compete with the PPG, ironically.) The Tud Buds are an excellent team that should be D4 bound no matter what, they also jumped up a level but it wasn’t noticed as much as the PPG dominance sort of overshadowed it. Not So Sticky, SMM, and BK all have the ability to compete with them and “shock the world” but it feels unlikely. They feel inevitable. JFSF, Mo, and PH all had largely forgettable seasons and shouldn’t realistically play into the championship picture. Stir The Sauce already forfeited. Weak. 

#1 POWERPUFF GIRLS (8-0) VS #9 PIT HARADE (1-7)

 

PF: PPG 48.25 (1st) - PH 19.00 (7th)

PA: PPG 17.25 (1st) - PH 28.63 (7th)

TSL Rank: PPG 1st - PH 51st

Past Games: PPG 51-20

Line: Powerpuff Girls (-14)

 

The Powerpuff Girls coasted through the season, and ended up with the league’s top offense AND top defense. There’s not much more to say to them other than good luck in D4 next season, no matter what. With the STS forfeit, Pit Harade gets to move on without playing a game, but the prize is this game against the PPG so maybe STS was onto something with forfeiting here? Either way, the PPG beat PH by 31 earlier this season. PH might prove to be a tougher out than some of the other lower seeded teams, but I’m not sure it’s going to matter. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 18

#2 TWO TUDDIES (7-1) VS #7 MO’ CHICKEN (2-6)

 

PF: TT 33.00 (2nd) - MO 16.63 (9th)

PA: TT 21.13 (4th) - MO 32.63 (9th)

TSL Rank: TT 7th - MO 42nd

Past Games: TT 53-8

Line: Two Tuddies (-13)

 

Mo’ Chicken’s debut season wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t exactly what they hoped it would be either. There were some growing pains along the way, but the potential for more is there, so hopefully they stick together and gear up for the fall. While there is a non-zero chance they win, it’s QUITE slim. The Tuddies have been firing on all cylinders: males, females, and the QB play has been top notch. In any other season, they’d be championship favorites, which has to sting a little bit. They shouldn’t have any problem moving on. TWO TUDDIES BY 19

 

#3 NOT SO STICKY (5-3) VS #6 JAKE FROM STATE FARM (3-5)

 

PF: NSS 23.38 (5th) - JFSF 23.88 (4th)

PA: NSS 21.00 (3rd) - JFSF 28.25 (6th)

TSL Rank: NSS 19th - JFSF 35th

Past Games: NSS 25-12

Line: Not So Sticky (-7)

 

Not So Sticky had a very Not So Sticky season. They played low scoring games for the most part, had a pretty good defense, an average offense, and ended up right around .500. But they more than likely had fun doing it. Now they get a JFSF team still looking to make their mark on the league. They beat the other “pretenders” this season, but a signature playoff win would put them a bit more on the map other than “the guys Wrestler Forfeit Dan didn’t want”. Whatever happened with that STS breakup, it doesn’t matter anymore as JFSF has emerged as the victors from that divorce, beating STS and not forfeiting a playoff game. JFSF does have a veteran presence on their roster, so they know what to do, but it becomes a matter of execution. That’s never fully in question for NSS. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

 

#4 SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (4-3-1) VS #5 BLITZKRIEG (3-4-1)

 

PF: SMM 25.75 (3rd) - BK 19.38 (6th)

PA: SMM 26.25 (5th) - BK 18.75 (2nd)

TSL Rank: SMM 22nd - BK 29th

Past Games: TIE 21-21

Line: EVEN

 

These two teams simply cannot quit each other. The old D6 title rivals moved up to D5 together, both took similar paths on the way to the playoffs (SMM has lost 3 in a row, BK went 1-3 down the stretch, only beating Mo’ Chicken along the way. They tied each other, because of course they did. They’re right next to each other in point differential. One has the better offense, the other has the better defense. But only one of them will move on to Championship Saturday in their first D5 season. The biggest question of course, is which one? At the end of the day, defense wins championships. I’m sorry, Blitzkrieg. BLITZKRIEG BY 1, PROBABLY IN OT

 

D6

 

The Contenders

 

TMA (3-1)

Balls Deep (3-1)

 

The Outside Contenders:

 

Blue Ballers (5-1)

 

The Dark Horse

 

Raw Milkers (9-1)

 

The Pretenders

 

Dogg Pound (15-1)

Intentional Clowning (15-1)

Irish Giants (17-1)

Select (17-1)

 

The Story: The best story of the TSL season has been the reemergence of TMA, even though their run to an undefeated season was ended on the season’s final day. Balls Deep has had a fantastic season as they’ve kept pace with TMA this year, but may arguably be the more well rounded team. The Blue Ballers are a fun story, and they’ve crushed the division in terms of scoring (they average over 7 points more a game than anyone else in D6) BUT they don’t know how to stop a team from scoring, which has cost them the key games against TMA and Balls Deep. The Raw Milkers are in a class of their own, and they look to pull off an upset of one of the top teams. Despite averaging just under 17 points a game, the Irish Giants somehow upset TMA and ended up 4-4 and my brain doesn’t quite grasp how that happened. The Dogg Pound and Select also average under 20 points scored but their defense keeps all three of those teams in games. Intentional Clowning had a season to forget, and their defense feels almost non-existent this year. Sticky Laces has already forfeited. Weak. 

 

#1 TMA (7-1) vs #9 INTENTIONAL CLOWNING (2-6)

 

PF: TMA 31.25 (2nd) - IC 25.13 (5th)

PA: TMA 20.63 (2nd) - IC 31.75 (9th)

TSL Rank: TMA 8th - IC 46th

Past Games: TMA 34-12

Line: TMA (-10)

TMA blew their 8-0 season last week, but I’m sure they’re okay with “getting the loss out of the way”. It’s been a return to form season for TMA, as they’re back to being a winning squad. The TSL is better when TMA is winning. It’s just science. As for IC, they had to have some bad luck along the way. They were getting better with each season, and all of a sudden their defense crumbled. They’re arguably better than 9th place, but not THAT much better. TMA BY 10

 

#2 BALLS DEEP (6-2) vs #8 SELECT (2-6)

 

PF: BD 31.13 (3rd) - Select 18.38 (8th)

PA: BD 19.13 (1st) - Select 26.13 (5th)

TSL Rank: BD 9th - Select 41st

Past Games: BD 20-0

Line: Balls Deep (-12)

 

Balls Deep’ 31 points scored per game is impressive, but what’s even more impressive is how they really figured out defense. Word is that the ladies on the team have really stepped it up and are a big reason why they’ve been so good this season. Select has gone through some growing pains, but they’ve shown flashes of how good they can be. This might not be their year, but I think they should be on everyone’s watch list for the Fall. BALLS DEEP BY 8

 

#3 BLUE BALLERS (6-2) vs #6 DOGG POUND (3-5)

 

PF: BB 38.88 (1st) - DP 19.25 (7th)
PA: BB 29.38 (8th) - DP 23.50 (3rd)

TSL Rank: BB 11th - DP 34th

Past Games: BB 39-34

Line: Blue Ballers (-8)

 

The Blue Ballers brand of “all gas no brakes” has vaulted them into contender status as they score in bunches…but allow points in bunches too. This game is a replay from last week which saw the Ballers win by 5, but gave the anemic DP offense its highest point total of the season. The Blue Ballers make things hard on themselves by allowing so many points, which will eventually come back to haunt them, however that feels like a “next week” problem. BLUE BALLERS BY 9

 

#4 IRISH GIANTS (4-4) vs #5 RAW MILKERS (3-4-1)

 

PF: IG 16.88 (9th) - RAW 25.25 (4th)

PA: IG 24.50 (4th) - RAW 26.75 (6th)

TSL Rank: IG 27th - RAW 30th

Past Games: RAW 46-8

Line: Raw Milkers (-7)

 

The Irish Giants feel like the most unlikely 4th seed in TSL history. They have a pretty terrible offense, yet they also beat TMA last week. I have no good read on them, and understandably so. The Raw Milkers are this close to being the league darlings after a solid first season. Also, while they lost to the top 3 teams, it was only 16 to the BB, 6 to TMA, and 8 to Balls Deep. They were a weird 28-28 tie with Sticky Laces (still weak) away from being the 4th seed instead. At the end of the day, that doesn’t really matter. RAW MILKERS BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• I wonder if the Sticky Bandits have been laying in wait all season and they’re going to kick it up a notch in the playoffs? Would you be surprised if it came out that Jeff Krol has figured out “Load Management” for his players during the regular season so they operate at peak performance in the playoffs? I wouldn’t. 

 

 

 

• What #1 seed has the greatest potential to not make it to win their division this year? I never think any team is a slam dunk champion, but it's hard to pick against the Powerpuff Girls this year, so it isn’t them. TMA was 7-1, but Balls Deep is just as good as they are, so it might be TMA. But I could say the same for CTT (Malones) and Legends (Eyes Downtown). Or even ILF (MD/BWB). That surprisingly leaves us with the Wanderers as the most likely to lose #1 seed, as they get the “joy” of playing in the blender that is D3. 

 

 

 

• There’s really something about the #5 seeds this year. What A Dump has the talent but just needs to put it together in D1. Scared Hitless are proven playoff performers in D2. Bullet Club is a veteran team that can’t be slept on in D3. The Tater Tots in D4 could easily get hot and pull off an upset. Blitzkrieg has a fantastic defense and championship pedigree in D5, and the Raw Milkers in D6 have been a revelation of sorts. If all the #5 seeds advance to play in their respective championships, it would be shocking, but not completely out of nowhere. 

 

 

 

• Is getting a bye week worth it? Does the extra week of rest really help a TSL franchise like it would in say, the NFL? I’d lean towards yes, simply because weird things can happen on the field weekly that can sink a team’s ship in the playoffs, not to mention a star player could get hurt too. 

 

 

 

• All eyes are going to be on John “Scumbag” Langley as he attempts to be the league’s biggest villain by taking on both gender teams and kicking them out of the playoffs early. What does John have against women? (Topper may or may not have submitted this question to be in the article.)

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR PLAYOFF SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Syd On My Face 37, Mel-icious Minx 30

• ReinCARnated 40, Miles On It 24

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Puckett vs Tater Tots

• 11:00 - PWI vs Becca Gets Reccked

• 12:00 - Wanderers vs DXYZ (maybe)

• 1:00 - Sausage McMuffins vs Blitzkrieg

• 2:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Bullet Club

 

 

 

• What is the weather supposed to be like for the playoffs in Buffalo? Allegedly it should be Mostly Sunny and 86 degrees. Another perfect day for football. Wear your sunscreen. 

 

 

 

• AS PER USUAL: CHILL OUT ON THE REFS. I know that tensions are high, as the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is upon us, but a bad call WILL be made, don’t be a complete jerk about it. 

 

 

 

• The Wine Tournament is August 9th at The Black Willow Winery! Sign up today! 

 

 

 

• Can you imagine if we get Buddy Lee vs B in the championship games for both D3 AND D4? It’s not implausible. 

 

 

 

• Word around the Telegram App is that the bar has been picking up steam as the weather has gotten nicer. Make sure you keep it classy and don’t attack any potted plants, win or lose. 

 

 

 

• Is there a potential Topper sighting this weekend? What about B’s Brother? Who has his support in these playoffs? Are we SURE he supports B?

 

 

 

• I still can't get over how poetic it is that the McMuffins are playing Blitzkrieg in the D5 playoffs. 

 

 

 

• Lastly, we are doing our best to start the games ON TIME. With the potential for overtime being there and fields running behind, make sure your team is there EARLY and READY TO GO as best you can. 

 

The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality Is Here! Good Luck! 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 06 June 2025 16:13

Published: Friday, 06 June 2025 16:13

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1356

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, this is always my favorite, yet hardest, article to write each year. This weekend, the TSL will be celebrating its unofficially official holiday: Lenny and Rameer Day. While a large portion of the TSL Universe is completely aware of who we’re celebrating, and why we’re celebrating them, there’s going to be new people to the league who simply do not. And that’s okay, that’s what I’m here to explain. I’ll say it loud for the ones in the back. 

 

Lenny and Rameer are two of the biggest reasons you’re reading this article right now. They’re two of the biggest reasons for a lot of things: Why you get to wake up on Saturdays and play football at the Rose Garden being chief among them. Yes, Topper played a massive part too, don’t get me wrong, but this isn’t about him. Lenny Alba was the original “Commissioner For Life” of the TSL. As legend would have it, Lenny and Topper would get sick of the former person who ran the local football league, and not too long before that league was supposed to start, Lenny talked to Rose Garden and acquired the fields with Topper, and then he called Scott Airey and the three of them convinced most of the teams that were in that ‘bad guy’ league to come on over and start the new league, that would become the Topper Sports League, or TSL for short. It was quite a massive undertaking to start an entire new league at the last minute, but hell hath no fury quite like a Lenny scorned. I’ll never forget when he called me back then to see if my team would move over with them. It was a no brainer for us, we made the jump happily. But others had reservations or loyalties elsewhere and that’s okay. 

 

Lenny would go on to be the league’s commissioner which pretty much meant he made the rules and told people to stop being jerks when they broke said rules. He worked alongside Topper in enforcing things and building the league up. I’ll never know exactly which things were Lenny and which things were Topper, but a LOT of the hilarity you see around the league or have heard about throughout the years: Clowns, Doug Allen, B’s Brother’s Christmas Album, a Mariachi Band playing, betting buckets on games,, etc, etc came from his, shall I say unique?, brain. If you’ve ever been to the TSL Banquet and you wonder why there’s a 25 foot minion or a 12 foot Stay Puft The Marshmallow Man blowup just hanging around, Lenny is your guy. 

 

But there was more to Lenny than chaos. Not much more, but still more nonetheless. He could often be found on the fields or sitting at the corner of the bar (back when you were constantly allowed inside the bar) talking to someone. He did a very good job of talking to everything he came around - new players, old players, some random boyfriend or girlfriend who wasn’t in the league but was there to watch - it didn’t matter. Lenny would talk to you and it didn’t have to be about football. It could be about anything. He was a big hearted and caring individual, and he was genuine in wanting to get to know you. And if he ever got your phone number? Look out. You were going to get more texts sent to you than you would if you were in a group chat of 12 year old girls who just saw Justin Bieber. If he called you directly and you were foolish enough to pick up, you were going to be on the phone with him for a minimum of an hour. But time always flew by. Either way, he made you feel welcome in the league. He tried to make you feel included. It’s a running theme for this league. 

 

My personal Lenny story (okay, anyone who knew him has at least 17 of these) that I always remember is obviously about this article. When the league started, Topper asked me if I wanted to write for the website he was making for the league, but I had to do two things: 1. Write it how Lenny talks and 2. Never tell Lenny I write it. Topper wanted to drive Lenny nuts with people asking him about it and saying it was him, while also driving him nuts for not knowing who it was and having to find out, because Lenny NEEDED to know. I got away with it for a while before he figured it out. I was never exactly sure how he did it, and I’m pretty sure Topper told him, but I’m glad he did. When I got my job out here in Des Moines, Iowa and had to move, Lenny told me I had to keep writing the article because people keep coming back to the website and they love it. It’s part of what made the TSL the best Social Co-Ed Touch Football League in the world. I loved the league and didn’t want to leave, but I had to, and writing this article helped me feel like I was still a part of it, even if nobody knew who I was. Lenny fed me lots of information that made the articles relevant (in the same way that Topper, and now Jeff have done) and we formed a close friendship because of it. He unfortunately passed away too early on us, but his legend very clearly resonates within the bones of the TSL today. 

 

But Godfather, it’s Lenny AND Rameer Day! Who’s Rameer then? The story of Rameer comes from the story of Topper and Lenny and the TSL. Despite being the best of friends, Lenny and Topper would butt heads along the way about various topics related to the league. They’d also get constant whiny crybabies bothering them all day about how the refs hate them or the rules hate them or it's everyone else’s fault they dropped some ball that could’ve changed the game completely even though they were losing by 32 with 4 minutes to go when it happened. After a while, they grew tired of that. Enter Rameer. Rameer Green was a Syracuse loving TSLer who played in the league and was always looking for ways he could help out because he loved the league. And help out he did. At some point Rameer was named Director of Officiating, which was a big help to Topper and Lenny because now it was on Rameer to find the refs for the games each week, argue with people about the rules, hand out suspensions if needed, and essentially take away a lot of the stuff they didn’t want to fully deal with unless they had to. But most importantly, he became the ‘third man’ in decision making. So whenever Topper and Lenny got into a disagreement about a new potential rule or exactly what ice cream truck they should bring to the fields, Rameer was there to give his impartial feelings on the matter and help them break the tie. 

 

Rameer was known as the “Dirtiest Player In The Game” and while maybe that rang true during some on the field shenanigans, it couldn’t be further from the truth off it. Remember how I told you about how feeling included was a running theme for the league? Rameer was part of that too. Whereas Lenny would default to making you feel included by being loud and making you one of his “characters” and seeing if it stuck, Rameer was more “stealthy” about it. Rameer would hang out at the bar and he had a penchant for noticing someone sitting by themselves or not talking as much. He’d make it a point to go up to them and introduce himself and get to know them that way. He’d eventually bring them over to the group and introduce them to everyone else if they wanted to. If not, he’d sit and talk to you about anything. He liked getting deep with people, really getting to know what makes them tick. He made you feel like you mattered in this league, and I know for a fact that he was the difference between someone playing in this league for a season and having them stay for 10 and counting. He was always there with a kind word and a smile. And let’s not forget his world famous hugs!

 

When Lenny passed, Rameer stepped up big time. He took on the impossible task of filling Lenny’s shoes, but he did an admirable job. It wasn’t too long after that that the cancer hit. Rameer fought like hell, as everyone who knew him knew he would. Unfortunately, he lost his battle. Just like that, the TSL took another HUGE hit. We always celebrate Lenny and Rameer Day in the beginning of June because in a weird coincidence, June 4th is not only Lenny’s birthday, but it’s also the date that Rameer passed away. 

 

All of this was written just to say, when you play your games tomorrow, please go up to the bar and have a drink. When you do that, make sure you raise a toast to Lenny and Rameer. Two wonderful people we all lost too soon. The people that knew them are going to be celebrating them all day, laughing and telling stories. If you didn’t get the chance to know them, you’re going to really wish you did by the day’s end. But make no mistake, this is not a celebration just for the ones that knew Lenny and Rameer. It’s for everyone, you’re all included. 

 

And that’s exactly how they would’ve wanted it. 

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Eyes Downtown 48, Sticky Bandits 24

Legends 43, What A Dump 7

Not much to talk about here. The Top 2 seeds look pretty much locked in after Eyes Downtown disposed of Sticky Bandits yet again, and the Legends took a dump on WAD, who might be regretting certain offseason decisions at this point. 

THIS WEEKS GAMES

 

STICKY BANDITS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+8) - Sticky looks to get back in the win column against a Frodo team still really needing a signature victory. This game could be the difference between playing the Freeballers or WAD in the first round of the playoffs. STICKY BANDITS BY 10

 

WHAT A DUMP VS FREEBALLERS (+7) - The Freeballers are still looking for their first win of the season, while WAD is looking to get it together overall. The Freeballers might be more of an organized unit than WAD at this point, WAD just has the talent. FREEBALLERS BY 2

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS WHAT A DUMP (+10) - The WAD revenge game doesn’t look like it’ll go promising for them, based on how well the “new set of eyes” have worked out for Bobby and Co. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 9

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Mavericks 41, The Malones 40

Can’t Touch This 49, Jabronies 22

Scared Hitless 90, Show Me Your TDs 0

 

Yeah, that’s 90 points. Good work Scared Hitless. The Mavericks get a huge win at the buzzer over The Malones, and CTT just continues to smack the division around at will. 

THIS WEEKS GAMES

 

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS THE MALONES (+8) - CTT’s biggest competition might not even be competition at this point. They’re on a heater for the D2 ages. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 7

 

MAVERICKS VS JABRONIES (+10) - The Mavs found a little bit of that magic they were missing from last season in the win over The Malones, and they’ll be looking to keep the positive vibes flowing and will want to avoid a let down against the Jabronies. MAVERICKS BY 10

 

MAVERICKS VS SCARED HITLESS (+10) - The Mavs found a little bit of that magic they were missing from last season in the win over The Malones, and they’ll be looking to keep the positive vibes flowing and will want to avoid a let down against the Jabronies Scared Hitless.. MAVERICKS BY 10

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Wanderers 55, PWI 52

Buffalo Vice 22, DXYZ 22

Becca Gets Reccked 56, GirthQuakes 40

Bullet Club 46, Cunning Stunts 46

Practice Squad 21, 716 0 (FORFEIT)

 

Wanderers and PWI went to war for D3 supremacy, and the Wanderers took PWI’s best punch and kept on ticking. Vice and DXYZ played to a tie, and Practice Squad got a forfeit win. BGR outlasted the GQs, and then BC and the Stunts also played to a tie as well as D3 continues to be close as always. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BULLET CLUB VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+3) - A matchup pretty much designed for Lenny and Rameer Day: The Kellers vs Joe K is something Lenny would’ve written into the schedule for today. Both teams haven’t had the best season, and they both need a win in order to potentially avoid an extra playoff matchup. They’ll probably tie, but BULLET CLUB BY 1

 

WANDERERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+6) - The Squad gets their shot at the Wanderers to see if they can take them down. Wanderers feel more like a team of destiny than ever this year though. WANDERERS BY 9

 

PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED VS BECCA GETS RECCKED (EVEN) - Assuming both teams have everyone (never a guarantee with these two) we should see a dynamite matchup. PWI has been riding high, but a loss here could really start to sour the season for them. BGR just continues to coast along and have fun playing football. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 7

 

BUFFALO VICE VS GIRTHQUAKES (+6) - The GQs continue to go through some growing pains, but the talent is there to put together a late run. Vice has been up and down, but they just know how to play the game. BUFFALO VICE BY 13

 

CUNNING STUNTS VS 716 (+8) - The Stunts have been rolling and putting up points every week. Not sure that the 716 offense can keep up with it. CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

 

BECCA GETS RECCKED VS BULLET CLUB (NO LINE) - These two teams look to pick up a game that was suspended a few weeks ago, but I’m not sure if they’re starting over or starting from the point in the game that they paused at? Jeff Krol didn’t know either. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 6

 

PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED VS CUNNING STUNTS (EVEN) - PWI had the schedule makers do them zero favors this week. Not only do they get a double header, they get a DOOZY of one. Both teams will have played a game, and I think the Stunts might have other girls playing at the same time, so this should be interesting. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Come From Behind 21, Cobblestone 0 (FORFEIT)

Puckett 60, Tater Tots 28

ILF 24, Vaspian 20

ILF 32, Puckett 16

Mike’s Detailing 33, BWB 22

Mike’s Detailing 21, Cobblestone 0 (FORFEIT)

 

Two forfeits puts Cobblestone closer to the season record for forfeits in a season. Mike’s Detailing took a big win over BWB to cement themselves as the #2 seed. Puckett dropped an impressive 60 points on the Tots, only to run out of steam against ILF later on. ILF snuck by a very spry Vaspian team as well. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS VS VASPIAN (+10) - A minor hiccup for BWB as they look to get things on track against Vaspian, who’s starting to look a bit better all of a sudden. BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS BY 12

 

MIKE’S DETAILING VS VASPIAN (+14) - Vaspian DOES have a chance to really rock the TSL if they went 2-0 this week, but the teams they’re playing are just so dialed in right now. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

 

PUCKETT VS COME FROM BEHIND (+7) - While the CFB season started promisingly enough, the new old kids on the block in D4 have struggled recently. Puckett meanwhile obliterated the Tots before not really doing much against ILF, but they seem to be the hotter team. PUCKETT BY 8

 

INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS VS TATER TOTS (+7) - The Tots got bopped last week. ILF doesn’t look AS good as they should. But we get a fun Buddy vs B D4 QB matchup here, however something might be wrong with the Tots after last week. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 8

 

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Pit Harade 41, Stir The Sauce 12

Jake From State Farm 31, Mo’ Chicken 29

Blitzkrieg 29, Mo’ Chicken 0

Two Tuddies 29, Not So Sticky 28

Powerpuff Girls 61, Sausage McMuffins 14

 

Pit Harade remembers what it’s like to win a game, dominating STS. JFSF got a close win over Mo’ Chicken, who would then go on to get dunked on by Blitzkrieg. The Tud Buds and NSS played a typical game for those two teams, with the Tuddies sneaking out a win. Lastly, the Powerpuff Girls displayed so much dominance over the McMuffins, they had them calling the girls ‘Daddy’ by the end of it. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS VS STIR THE SAUCE (+17) - Not much is going right for STS this season, and I can’t imagine things get better for them this week going up against an SMM team that has something to prove after last week. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 8

 

PIT HARADE VS MO’ CHICKEN (+7) - Pit Harade got it together last week and finally got into the win column this season. Mo’ Chicken played admirably against JFSF, but Blitzkrieg didn’t have much trouble with them. Not sure what you’ll get out of either team on any given week. PIT HARADE BY 8

 

NOT SO STICKY VS JAKE FROM STATE FARM (+7) - The talent line in D5 pretty much seems to rest between these two teams, the 5th and 6th teams in the division. JFSF has been playing pretty well, but so has NSS, and I think they’re a little better overall. NOT SO STICKY BY 10

 

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS TWO TUDDIES (+8) - This week, the Tuddies get their shot at the Girls, as we have an awesome matchup between two undefeated teams (11-0 combined!). The Tud Buds have a lot of great players, but the PPG just feel on another level offensively, and that’ll be the difference. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 13

 

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

TMA 34, Intentional Clowning 12

Irish Giants 23, Sticky Laces 12

Balls Deep 32, Dogg Pound 10

Blue Ballers 53, Irish Giants 26

Raw Milkers 21, Select 20

 

The top teams in the division had easy days as TMA, Balls Deep, and the Blue Ballers all won in pretty convincing fashion. The Irish Giants squashed any rumors of Sticky Laces being “back” pretty quickly en route to a 1-1 weekend. The Raw Milkers continue to stay hot, sneaking by Select. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BLUE BALLERS VS BALLS DEEP (+1) - A marquee matchup in D6 as two top teams go head to head in order to prove they belong in the championship title conversation. Balls Deep has a better defense, the Blue Ballers have a better offense, so something has to give. The Blue Ballers just feel more fun though. BLUE BALLERS BY 8

 

TMA vs Dogg Pound (+10) - The Dogg Pound offense is pretty terrible, which means the TMA defense may have a field day here. TMA BY 19

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS STICKY LACES (+7) - It appears the “signs of life” coming from Sticky Laces two weeks ago was just their season evacuating its bowels after it died already. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 7

 

TMA vs SELECT (+6) - Select seems to be starting to figure things out as a group, which is a good sign, but TMA has things figured out pretty well. I think Select gives them a scare, and maybe even pulls the upset, but TMA does hold on late. TMA BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• WILL WE SEE TOPPER?? This season has been missing “the logo” all year, and there’s nothing quite like Lenny and Rameer Day to bring him out of hiding! 

 

 

• CAN PWI DO THE IMPOSSIBLE AND GO 2-0? They’re playing BGR AND The Stunts. Asserting dominance here could be key, or they could be below .500 by the end of the day. 

 

 

 

• After hearing about players berating refs last week, will there be any repercussions from that? Should B’s Brother be in charge of the RPA (Referee’s Protection Agency)? All signs point to yes. 

 

 

 

• What kind of mischief will the TSL get into to celebrate the day? Usually there’s Dunk Tanks and Wheels of Fortune (or punishments!) and various other fun things to do. 

 

 

 

• Is there a scarier place to end up than 1st overall in D4? Sure, you win your division, but you get Cobblestone in the playoffs which is a coin flip, isn’t it? You might win by forfeit and get a bye OR the entire roster may show up, which you have no way of knowing who they are, and you could get surprised and booted right away. IS THIS DARRYL’S PLAN ALL ALONG? IT'S BRILLIANT. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club enters its final week of regular season games before starting playoffs next week. Syd On My Face has clinched one of the byes already, and I’m pretty certain ReinCARnated has the other one clinched even if they lose. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• ReinCARnated 33, Syd On My Face 30

• D’s Nutz 40, Jen-X 22

• Miles On It 30, Mel-icious Minx 28

 

 

 

• I don’t want to get your hopes up too much, but ALLEGEDLY you’re going to have a mostly sunny, 78 degree, sunscreen needing day tomorrow. PERFECT WEATHER FOR LENNY AND RAMEER DAY!

 

 

 

• …And for the EA MusicFest that tends to be on the same day, and takes away half of our league too early. 

 

 

 

• Was there no podcast this week? I didn’t see it posted anywhere. How “The Sentinel” of you Joe K!

 

 

 

• Will TSL Hall of Famers Cookie and Elmo appear this week? I must know! 

 

 

 

• I’m sorry to those of you that came here expecting a super fun hype up article for the weekend, and instead got something a little different. But It’s still important to keep their memories alive. I hope you understand. 

 

 

 

• Remember, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to tell me all about your team, and talk smack about my predictions when you defy the odds and pull out a win I didn’t think you could. 

 

 

 

• Something, something, don’t be dicks to the referees or else you’ll get kicked out of the league before they will, we need them more than we need you, something something. 

 

 

 

• Lenny and Rameer Day is one of the best days of the year, as we celebrate two of the best people. Make sure you at least stop up at the bar and say hello, even if only for a minute. Enjoy it! 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 13 June 2025 17:03

Published: Friday, 13 June 2025 17:03

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1236

Ladies and Gentlemen and Klussmans of the TSL Universe, we’ve unfortunately made it to the final week of the TSL Spring 2025 Regular Season. It’s always a bittersweet week. First off, the sun JUST got here. Hopefully, it sticks around for the playoffs (And the upcoming wine tournament on August 9th! Details below!). On top of that, it’s last week of fun, carefree football with your friends, who will immediately become enemies at 3:00pm on Saturday. Why? Well, because that’s when the table is set for the Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality. Granted, you won’t officially know who your opponents are until Jeff punches the scores and records into the Magical Topper Playoff Decider Machine, but it also doesn’t matter if your own mother is standing across the field from you. At that point, she’s your enemy. You can get put back in the will after the games are played. 

 

After a weekend with great weather that saw us toast Lenny and Rameer, the league’s focus turns to the playoffs. The final week of the season always has some stakes to it, and this week’s results always play a role in who ends up our champions. I did a quick check of the current standings however, and I’m not sure just how much there is to play for this week. Four of the divisions are decided, one of them technically isn’t but really is (D5), and D1 could have Legends and Eyes Downtown flip spots, but both are getting the byes. But there’s still some seeding to be determined for sure. 

 

And of course, the RETURN of D1/D2 Crossover games! It’s a very exciting week for D2 to show just how much they do, or don’t, belong in D1. The games might not mean much in the standings, but they absolutely will on the field. No D1 team wants to lose to a D2 team, and you can bet your biscuits that every single D2 team wants to be the one to pull off the “upset”. 

D1/D2 CROSSOVER CORNER!!

 

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Frodo Swaggins 37, Sticky Bandits 30

What A Dump 49, Freeballers 39

Eyes Downtown 18, What A Dump 13

 

Frodo Swaggins finally gets that signature win against a Top D1 team that they’ve been looking for, beating Sticky and potentially finishing as the 3 seed. What A Dump got a win over the Freeballers, but then they proceeded to lose to Eyes Downtown in the Bobby McConnell Revenge Game. 

 

WHAT’S AT STAKE?: Not a whole lot. Legends and Eyes Downtown have the bye weeks, although they could flip seeds this week. The rest of the seeding might see some movement, but it’s doubtful. 

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Can’t Touch This 28, The Malones 26

Mavericks 37, Jabronies 15

Mavericks 44, Scared Hitless 16

 

The Mavericks personally reminded the Jabronies and Scared Hitless that they’re in D2.5 and not on the level of the top half of the division, easily going 2-0 without breaking much of a sweat. Can’t Touch This beat The Malones in one of the best games of the entire season, and they’ve left the TSL Universe wanting another match, hopefully for the D2 World Title. But don’t take it from me, take it from D2 QB Of The Year Contender and Prize and Punishment Wheel PRIZE WINNER Ryan Dougherty, who was awarded the ability to write his own write up for this week’s article, and it will be published verbatim with zero edits. Take it away Ryan!

 

“CTT keeps the streak alive and completes an undefeated D2 season with a comeback win over the Malones.  After scoring on their first drive of the second half, the Malones lost the lead faster than Robby lost the pounds when he started ozempic.  CTT scored 22 straight points and blanked the Malones, winning 28-26. Allie, former D3 female athlete of the year, made big grabs all day including the game winning catch! What’s gotten into her lately…..Malones had a chance to win it but Jesse Broad, slept on D2 star and defensive player of the year to anyone that’s paying attention, sealed it with a pick with 50 seconds left. Jesse has an interception in every game this year and continues to put his stamp on the defense.  Look for the “Missing” posters for Jack Myers around your local bars as he no showed another game. Last seen in DOC SULLIVANS”

 

Doc Sullivan’s? Check underneath the shuffleboard table. Maybe he’s there. Thank you Ryan! 

 

WHAT’S AT STAKE?: Nothing. League Overlord Jeff Krol has announced that Show Me Your TDs are not going to appear in the playoffs, which means that Jabronies vs Scared Hitless is already penciled into the 4v5 first round playoff matchup. CTT has clinched the division, And while I don’t know if the 2 and 3 seeds can flip flop, they’re locked into a Mavs - Malones 2nd round match up anyway. 

D1/D2 CROSSOVER GAMES THIS WEEK

 

STICKY BANDITS VS JABRONIES (+10) - A bit of a friendly rivalry renewed as these two teams have played in the past including some games with some bets in the past. I’m not sure the Jabronies are up for making bets this time around, but both teams could use the momentum going into the playoffs for sure. STICKY BANDITS BY 19

 

LEGENDS VS CAN’T TOUCH THIS (+7) - A battle of two future D1 rivals, we hope. CTT has played excellently, while the Legends sort of feel like they’re on cruise control until the playoffs. As much as I want to give CTT the big upset, I think the Legends get up for this one so they’re not the D1 team that lost to a D2 team. LEGENDS BY 10

 

FRODO SWAGGINS VS THE MALONES (EVEN) - The Malones just lost a heartbreaker, while Frodo just won one. Look for the big surprise right here. THE MALONES BY 3

 

WHAT A DUMP VS SCARED HITLESS (+9) - Quick, someone tell Scared Hitless this is a playoff game. I believe that if SH brings their playoff intensity, they can pull this one off. What A Dump has failed to impress, and it’s looking more and more like they’re a team that’s a pasty QB away from being really, really good. SCARED HITLESS BY 1 IF THEY TRY REALLY HARD

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS MAVERICKS (+3) - I love the crossover games for times like this one. This game, on paper, looks so freakin’ awesome. Eyes Downtown and the Mavs are a combined 11-3 on the year, and they look really good. Neither team NEEDS this win, but both of them want it. Look for a hell of a game. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 4

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Bullet Club 31, D-Generation X, Y, and Z 24

Wanderers 35, Practice Squad 26

Passing While Intoxicated 48, Becca Gets Reccked 37

Buffalo Vice 27, GirthQuakes 6

Cunning Stunts 58, 716 35

Bullet Club 21, Becca Gets Reccked 21 

Cunning Stunts 37, Passing While Intoxicated 26

 

That’s a lot of games. Bullet Club outlasted DXYZ before battling BGR to a tie to go 1-0-1 on the day, BGR also lost to PWI during the day to go 0-1-1. PWI later lost to the Stunts to go 1-1, but the Stunts later on also beat 716 so they were 2-0 on the day. Buffalo Vice easily handled the GirthQuakes, and lastly the Wanderers withstood another challenger to the D3 throne and took care of Practice Squad to stay undefeated. 

 

WHAT’S AT STAKE?: Topper’s Super Secret Playoff Machine may explode here, as the teams from 2nd through 8th are close enough to make a million things shake out in 100 different ways. The three ties in D3 make figuring out seeding potentially impossible right now. What we do know is that the Wanderers have clinched the #1 seed and that regardless of the outcomes DXYZ and the GQs are in the First Round (7v10, 8v9) next week. After that? Who knows? D3 continues to be ridiculously fun to watch. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

WANDERERS VS 716 (+13) - The Wanderers continue rolling through the division, while 716 keeps showing that they can score points, but preventing points is a bit of an issue. It’ll bite them here too. WANDERERS BY 8

 

PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED VS BUFFALO VICE (+5) - PWI started off 3-0 against teams currently in the “First Round”, and then they’ve proceeded to get smacked around by the top teams in the division, and they’re 1-3 in their last 4. Despite having a stud QB and TD Tori, their lack of having a true #1 male WR difference maker really doesn’t help them. Vice has played a really under the radar, solid season. They’re lurking for the playoffs. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 6

 

PRACTICE SQUAD VS BECCA GETS RECCKED (EVEN) - BGR continues the up and down season theme they always have, which of course has them at 3-3-1. They could end up as high as 3rd place with a win here, and a loss puts them in the First Round games (potentially). Practice Squad could finish as the 2nd seed with a win (and a Stunts loss/tie, because we have to point out ties here now). That Squad defense has been good all year, and it’ll carry them here. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 7

 

BULLET CLUB VS GIRTHQUAKES (+7) - The GirthQuakes haven’t had the best season, but considering the shakeup they went through early on, it’s to be expected. They’ll be in the First Round games no matter what, so this game doesn’t mean much to them other than “cool we won a game” excitement heading into the playoffs. Bullet Club has had an interesting season with injuries, two ties (a 2-3-2 record is just weird to see on the standings page), and some close losses. A win here, coupled with a 716 loss to the Wanderers (probable) and having either Buffalo Vice OR BGR lose gets BC out of the First Round games, and they could still finish as high as 5th. BULLET CLUB BY 10

 

CUNNING STUNTS VS D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z (+10) - The Katherine Keller Bowl helps close out the Regular Season as the Stunts (who have done JUST fine in D3, who knew? Oh yeah, everyone.) look to lock up the #2 seed against the Kellers, who have had a season to forget. It’s very clear they need to go back to being called “3rd and Schlong” to rediscover the magic they once had. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks 24, Vaspian 22

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 62, Tater Tots 24

Mike’s Detailing 37, Vaspian 16

Puckett 32, Come From Behind 30

 

BWB sneaks by a very froggy Vaspian team, who would drop to 0-2 on the day with a later loss to Mike’s Detailing (Tell ‘em The Godfather sent you for a discount!). ILF just decimated the Tots, but that was more due to injuries and nonsense it seems. Puckett also snuck out a nice win over CFB. 

 

WHATS AT STAKE?: The top 3 seeds. ILF is 6-1, MD and BWB are 5-2. If they all end up at 6-2, they’re at the mercy of the Magical Topper Playoff Machine that will do whatever it wants and will decide who finishes in what place. It could be the difference between playing Cobblestone or getting to deal with Come From Behind or the Tots. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

COME FROM BEHIND VS VASPIAN (+3) - Vaspian hasn’t been playing too badly lately, even if they aren’t winning. They’ve really gotten it together in the second half of the season, while CFB is still floundering a bit. This will sound more shocking that it actually is. VASPIAN BY 8

 

TATER TOTS VS COBBLESTONE (+10) - The Tots were beat up last week in their big game, but Dave Marcus sent me an email to explain why. B got hurt, which made their best WR have to play QB, and he was hurt, and then someone else did it, and then someone else had to leave early so the iron manned the game with 3 guys and 3 ladies. Absolutely not the best way to play ILF. No idea if Cobblestone is going to show up for this one. TATER TOTS BY 21. 

 

INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS VS MIKE’S DETAILING (+3) - This is a BIG BIG BIG Week 8 game. Two superstar teams playing for (maybe) first overall and the potential bye week (a game against Cobblestone) in the playoffs. Both teams are good. Both teams are playing very well. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 2

 

BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS VS COBBLESTONE (+10) - BWB needs a win to potentially finish 1st overall as well, and this is the perfect matchup for them. BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS BY 21.

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Stir The Sauce 20, Sausage McMuffins 14

Mo’ Chicken 29, Pit Harade 19

Not So Sticky 25, Jake From State Farm 12

PowerPuff Girls 44, Two Tuddies 10

 

Stir The Sauce gets a nice win over the McMuffins, Mo’ Chicken takes out Pit Harade to finally get back into the win column. Not So Sticky handled JFSF pretty easily, but not as easily as the Powerpuff Girls beat up on the Tud Buds to keep control of D5.

 

WHAT’S AT STAKE?: Technically, the PPGs could lose both games and the Tuddies could win the division. That feels unlikely. D5 does have an 8v9 game for a first round game, and it’ll be some combination of 4 teams. Imagine if we got the STS vs JFSF playoff matchup though? How fun would THAT be? 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

PIT HARADE VS JAKE FROM STATE FARM (EVEN) - Pit Harade lost to Mo Chicken to currently hold down 9th place, but a win over JFSF (with a probably STS loss to the PPGs) would jump them up to 7th and a probable date with the Tud Buds in the playoffs. I want the STS - JFSF matchup in the 8v9 game, so lets speak it into existence. PIT HARADE BY 2

 

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS BLITZKRIEG (+8) - Blitzkrieg is having a fine D5 season, but the Powerpuff Girls are simply too good to contain, and they’ll enjoy D4 next season no matter what happens in the playoffs. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 12

 

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS STIR THE SAUCE (+18) - STS got their feel good win last week before they get their feel bad loss this week. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 27

 

NOT SO STICKY VS MO’ CHICKEN (+10) - Mo got a nice win last week and while they’ll look to keep it going against NSS, it doesn’t seem too promising. NSS has an outside shot at 3rd place. NOT SO STICKY BY 13

 

TWO TUDDIES VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+7) - Both teams suffered embarrassing losses last week, but I expect the Tuddies to bounce back a lot better than the McMuffins. TWO TUDDIES BY 7

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Balls Deep 47, Blue Ballers 30

TMA 38, Dogg Pound 19

Sticky Laces 28, Intentional Clowning 22

TMA 36, Select 30

 

TMA continues its fantastic season, putting up 2 wins with victories over the Dogg Pound and Select. Balls Deep knocked the Blue Ballers down a peg with a 17 point win, and Sticky Laces figured out how to win again, taking down the clowns on IC. 

 

WHAT’S AT STAKE?: TMA’s undefeated season! They’re already the #1 seed. Balls Deep and Blue Ballers will be the 2nd and 3rd seeds in some fashion, and then everything from seeds 4-9 is pure insanity. If the following happens: Clowning beats Balls Deep, Sticky Laces beats the Milkers, Blue Ballers beat Dogg Pound, Select beats the Irish Giants, and then the Giants upset TMA we’ll have SIX teams tied at 3-5 records. That would be so much fun to see how that shakes out! 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

BALLS DEEP VS INTENTIONAL CLOWNING (+6) - Unfortunately, I don’t think the dream of a six way 3-5 tie will happen, mainly because Balls Deep has been playing VERY well, and it’ll take the best game of the year for the IC to upset them. BALLS DEEP BY 14.

 

TMA VS IRISH GIANTS (+10) - The Irish Giants stand in the way of TMA and a perfect regular season. On paper, it seems like TMA should be fine, but allow me to remind the Giants (who have a few members of GUCCI on the roster) that when GUCCI had an undefeated season in D5 and finished as the #1 seed, it was the 0-8 #8 seed TMA that ruined everything and beat them in the playoffs. There’s some motivation. TMA BY 8

 

SELECT VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - Select continues to look better and better even if the wins aren’t always coming. They figure to be a tougher out in the playoffs than people are thinking, but for now they’re focused on this W against the Giants, and they’re gonna get it. SELECT BY 9

 

STICKY LACES VS RAW MILKERS (EVEN) - The Sticky Laces are fighting to be out of the 8v9 game when they figured they’d be playing the winner of that game by season’s end. While things have been better for them, they’re getting an underrated Raw Milkers team who are pretty fantastic as well. Should be a good game. RAW MILKERS BY 8

 

BLUE BALLERS VS DOGG POUND (+12) - The Blue Ballers lost a big game to Balls Deep, but they’re still very much in the D6 title mix. The Dogg Pound have been having a rough last couple of weeks, and you could hear Tino’s frustrations pretty clearly on the podcast with the play calling. We’ll see if it sparks them to victory. I doubt it. BLUE BALLERS BY 18

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• The biggest question has to be how many teams will end up undefeated this regular season? We have FOUR undefeated teams left - Can’t Touch This, Wanderers, Powerpuff Girls, and TMA. Can’t Touch This gets to play the Legends, which means 7-1 looks likely for them. Wanderers shouldn’t have any trouble with 716, nor should TMA with the Irish Giants. And then the Powerpuff Girls have two games they’d need to win, but I don’t think it matters. So yeah, it looks like we’re going to have 3 undefeated teams this season. 

 

 

 

• Conversely, will any team finish with 0 wins? We actually had 3 contenders for this “Achievement”- Freeballers, Show Me Your TDs, and Cobblestone. And through the magic of D1/D2 crossover games, we’d have gotten a HUGE Freeballers-Show Me Your TDs LOSER TAKES NONE matchup. However, it seems SMYTDs have already forfeited and it’s a wrap for them so CONGRATS FREEBALLERS ON YOUR WIN!? (I think they get a win for that?). If Cobblestone shows up to play, they could very well take a win, maybe, but it doesn’t seem likely. 

 

 

 

• With SMYTDs not playing, as I said earlier, D2 becomes a 5 team playoff system, with a 4v5 matchup and the top 3 seeds getting a bye. With CTT, The Malones, and the Mavs having a week off next week, I hope they give their D1 counterparts absolute hell on the field this time around. 

 

 

 

• The 1,542nd annual TSL Wine Tournament is officially set for August 9th at the Black Willow Winery. The Wine Tournament is a great time where 16 teams battle it out on the winery grounds for tournament supremacy. Nobody ever remembers who wins, but they do remember the wine, the chocolate tastings, and the shenanigans that take place all day. It’s a great day! Only 16 team slots are available, so sign up today! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1jsGuuqKrzClugrWUmMJ3wul5jKUHvdRSzyhqdG-ZUDc/edit

 

 

 

• With how close D3 and D6 are, I wish we could have a detailed hour by hour standings update page so we can increase the importance of some games throughout the day. “Oh so and so won at 11, so now team X HAS to win at 1!”. Who can invent something like that for the league? Someone out there should be able. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS BEFORE SATURDAY

 

 

• Don’t forget, Breakfast Club playoffs start this week! Here’s my predictions: 

• Miles On It 30, D’s Nutz 28

• Mel-icious Minx 37, Jen-X 36

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Legends vs Can’t Touch This

• 11:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs The Malones

• 12:00 - Sticky Laces vs Raw Milkers

• 1:00 - What A Dump vs Scared Hitless

• 2:00 - ILF vs Mike’s Detailing

 

 

 

• The D1/D2 Crossover games were truly missed this season. I think we’re going to get 2 upsets, I’m just not positive which two games they’ll be. 

 

 

 

• The weather looks like it’ll be near perfect for the final week of the season. That means no excuses when you lose, Frodo, PWI, or ILF. 

 

 

 

• Remember, as always, to pay your refs on time, and not be complete jerks to them when they get a call wrong!

 

 

 

• In fact, IT'S THE LAST WEEK OF THE SEASON, KEEP YOUR COOL. Don’t forget, getting a one week suspension this week could screw your team over in the playoffs. You don’t want that. 

 

 

 

• Man, What A Dump misses Bobby, don’t they? 

 

 

 

• Easily the most surprising result of the entire season has to be Girthquakes 30, Cunning Stunts 28, right? Not sure anything else comes close. 

 

 

 

• From all accounts, Lenny and Rameer Day was excellent last week. The weather was nice, the games were pretty good, and the bar was packed. People spun the prize and punishment wheel, people got in the dunk tank, and it was a great day to remember our fallen heroes. We miss you guys. 

 

 

 

• If you have any smack you want to talk for the playoffs, or if you have any ideas you think would help the league, please send it to me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I’ll tell the masses. 

 

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 6 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 30 May 2025 16:56

Published: Friday, 30 May 2025 16:56

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1450

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe as I sit here on my porch here in Des Moines, Iowa, in my log cabin, in gorgeous 80 degree weather, I can only think of one thing: Wow, this is perfect football weather. I’m instantly transported back to 2012, Lenny is passing out shots, Darryl Carr QB Superstar has handed me yet another Corona from his bucket, and life is good. Your experience this Spring has been, from all reports, nothing like that at all. I’m super duper sorry for that. But you’re getting there! This Saturday looks okay. You might even get up to 55 degrees! And the wind is only looking like it’ll get up to 16 mph. No rain, so that’s a plus. 

 

Back in my playing days, we had the occasional “bad” season. Technically, no season of TSL football is bad. You get to play the best sport in the world, with the best people in the world. And if you’re one of the many, many (but not nearly enough) TSLers who come hang out at the bar and make friends afterwards, you’re having even more fun! 

 

But now, it’s Week 6. There’s only 3 weeks of TSL football remaining in the Spring 2025 regular season before the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins and you’ll be able to have bragging rights throughout the summer. There’s nothing like being able to sip a Surfside while sitting on your friend’s mom’s new boyfriend’s boat in the middle of July thinking about how you’re one of the best Social Co-Ed Football Players in the world. That means it’s time to start getting serious. The stretch run is officially here. 

 

We’ve had a pretty interesting season so far that’s seen some great games, and we’ve had some teams really emerge as shockingly dominant or unexpectedly horrible at this point in the season. While I always say that the standings and games early on don’t give us a clear picture on how things will end up once the Great Race begins, we’re getting to the point where the pretenders and contenders kind of are who they are. With all of the TSL teams having played at least half of their schedule, we can dive into some of the numbers and see who is truly dominant, who has had some bad luck along the way and could be a dark horse, and who might look good right now but they could be frauds. 

 

I took a look at everyone’s current “Strength of Schedule” (SoS) to get a better idea of how hard (or easy) their path has been so far during the Spring 2025 season. I mixed that with the Average Point Differential that the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee showed us this week and looked for any teams that fit the bill of dominant, bad luck, or frauds. I’m aware that there’s a lot to this simplistic approach (I understand the top/bottom teams don’t have to play themselves so it skews some things), so don’t fill my inbox with lots of complaints about it. 

 

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Eyes Downtown 34, Frodo Swaggins 16

Eyes Downtown 31, Sticky Bandits 23

Legends 41, Freeballers 16

Eyes Downtown just about cements themselves as the (at worst) #2 team in D1 when they defeated Sticky. They also showed Frodo has a bit more work to do than maybe we’ve been letting on. The Legends just cruised to a win over the Freeballers in the other game. 

 

RANDOM ANALYSIS

 

SoS Rankings: 

Freeballers	0.594
WAD	0.579
ED	0.552
Legends	0.484
Sticky	0.482
Frodo	0.406

 

When you look at the SoS combined with the Power Rankings PD, D1 doesn’t give us anything too interesting. Legends/ED are legit, not a surprise. I think the one thing that stands out the most is that What A Dump could be considered a bit of a sleeping giant that could pop off over the next few weeks, and that we’ve been overrating Frodo a bit for sure. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS STICKY BANDITS (+6) - The Sticky Bandits get an immediate chance at redemption after losing to ED last weekend. A win here would give Sticky that shot at the #2 seed, but a loss would all but clinch it for Eyes Downtown. STICKY BANDITS BY 7

 

LEGENDS VS WHAT A DUMP (+8) - If WAD is going to be a potential sleeper for D1, this would be the time for them to prove it. While I think a loss doesn’t completely derail that thought, a win would shake everything up like a snow globe. Doesn’t matter. LEGENDS BY 10

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

The Malones 71, Show Me Your TDs 0

Can’t Touch This 45, Mavericks 6

Can’t Touch This 21, Show Me Your TDs 0

Jabronies 29, Scared Hitless 22

 

The Malones ran roughshod over SMYTDs, who would drop to 0-2 later on with a loss to CTT. CTT went 2-0 on the day with a dominating win over the Mavericks, who seem to still be in a Championship hangover or something this season. Meanwhile, the Jabronies took home a close victory over Scared Hitless. 

RANDOM ANALYSIS

 

SoS Rankings:

 

SMYTDS	0.833
Scared Hitless	0.739
Mavericks	0.632
Jabronies	0.421
CTT	0.217
Malones	0.167

To nobody’s surprise, SMYTDs has had an insane schedule, but we’re going to throw them out of this for obvious reasons. If they’re reading this, I hope they drop down to D6 and start from scratch. The interesting thing? Is Can’t Touch This a potential fraud? Two forfeit wins and one SMYTDs beat down inflated a lot of stats, but it’s hard to state that after the recent beatdowns of the Mavericks. But what about The Malones? The Malones have only played SMYTDs twice, the Jabronies once, and Scared Hitless twice, and Scared Hitless beat them in the most recent game they played. I think after the next few weeks we’re going to see that D2 is a lot closer than it seems right now. Between the Top 5 teams anyway. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

MAVERICKS VS THE MALONES (EVEN) - A Championship Rematch! After last Fall’s excellent title game, we finally get to see a rematch between these two teams. I think both teams are going to bring their best, and this game will come down to who responds more positively to whatever mistakes they make. MAVERICKS BY 3

 

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS JABRONIES (+7) - The quickest way to confirm you’re legit? Stomp the Jabronies too. Another quality win over a tough out to go to 6-0 should quiet any potential doubts. On the other side of things, the Jabronies can show the world that D2 has a lot more contenders than it seemed not too long ago with a win. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 10

 

SCARED HITLESS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+20) - Scared Hitless gets their turn with SMYTDs. SCARED HITLESS BY 20

 

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

716 20, Bullet Club 14

Practice Squad 46, Passing While Intoxicated 30

Buffalo Vice 46, Bullet Club 34

Becca Gets Reccked 38, DXYZ 34

Cunning Stunts 55, Buffalo Vice 38

716 walks away with a nice win over Bullet Club, who would go on to fall to 0-2 on the day with a loss to Vice. Vice would then lose the second half of their own double header to the Stunts, who are looking more and more like, well, The Stunts. Practice Squad continues to roll, knocking PWI out from the list of the unbeatens with a dominating win. Lastly, BGR outlasts DXYZ to sneak out a 4 point win. 

 

RANDOM ANALYSIS

 

SoS Rankings:

Vice	0.609
GQ	0.609
DXYZ	0.583
BGR	0.579
Bullet Club	0.579
Cunning Stunts	0.526
Practice Squad	0.482
PWI	0.421
716	0.409
Wanderers	0.348

Looking at D3, it’s easy to notice that the Wanderers haven’t played the hardest schedule, which could help explain why they’re uncharacteristically running through the division as opposed to one score, last second wins. Expect them to come back to Earth a little bit, but they’re still very good. The big surprise? Buffalo Vice. They’ve played the hardest schedule, but they average less than a TD loss. Their schedule gets easier in the next few weeks. Also, after some early season rust, the Cunning Stunts are looking more and more dominant. 716 looks to slip down the standings, and the GirthQuakes are poised to climb up the standings a bit as well. Remember, they DID beat the Stunts this season. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

WANDERERS VS PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED (+8) - Here’s a D3 Championship Title fight. The Wanderers have been nothing short of awesome this season, and PWI has also looked quite good as well. Are the Wanderers as dominant as they seem? Is PWI overachieving a little? The loss to Practice Squad suggests that may be the case. WANDERERS BY 2

 

BUFFALO VICE VS D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z (+6) - Buffalo Vice, as I just said, is playing some really good football. And DXYZ simply isn’t. BUFFALO VICE BY 10

 

BECCA GETS RECCKED VS GIRTHQUAKES (+10) - Who will be there for BGR? Inquiring minds want to know. Attendance is always the concern for BGR, and my super special GF rankings have them pegged as the 2nd best team in the division….when they’re all there. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 3

 

CUNNING STUNTS VS BULLET CLUB (+12) - Two teams heading in opposite directions this season. It’s been said that the way to beat the Stunts are having 3-5 good girls and having tall males who can catch. BC has had their full girl squad all season and most of the tall males who can catch are all hurt. CUNNING STUNTS BY 13

 

PRACTICE SQUAD VS 716 (+6) - Well, if 716 is bothered by being told they’re going to fall in the standings, a win here would go FAR in proving otherwise. A rough start to the season for the Squad has been erased, and now they’re sitting easily in the top tier of title contenders. This is probably a bigger game for 716, but B and the Squad will make it feel like it matters more to them. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 10

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES:

 

Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks 46, Come From Behind 20

Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks 40, Puckett 12

 

If anyone wasn’t sure, BWB is a top D4 team, as they officially announced it last week with two really dominant wins over other contenders. 

 

RANDOM ANALYSIS

 

SoS Rankings: 

Cobblestone	0.611
Come From Behind	0.591
Mike's Detailing	0.550
Tots	0.545
Birkenstocks	0.478
ILF	0.476
Puckett	0.429
Vaspian	0.421

What the stats are showing is that not only are BWB and ILF the class of the division, Mike’s Detailing is just as good. The Tots are slightly behind those three, and yes B, I’m aware that you beat MD already.  It also shows that Puckett has been a bit overrated this season and should be a little “Fraud-y”. Look for a CFB resurgence as well, after a midseason dip. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

COME FROM BEHIND VS COBBLESTONE (+14) - Nothing will help a resurgence quite like a game against Cobblestone this season. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

 

TATER TOTS VS PUCKETT (+7) - The Tots are looking to keep pace at the top of the standings, and prove they’re in the “top tier” regardless of my super accurate stats. Puckett looks to avoid being the frauds here. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS VS VASPIAN (+13) - ILF rolls in as one of the top teams in the division, which was pretty much expected. They have a bit more competition up there than they thought, but getting an actual QB has done wonders for them, so it evens out. Vaspian has played a weak schedule, and while they haven’t performed how they thought they would this season, there’s still time to get it together. This isn’t the time. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 17

 

INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS VS PUCKETT (+10) - Puckett has a hell of a doubleheader ahead of them this week, and even they get by the Tots, I can’t imagine they squeak out a win here against an ILF team that shouldn’t get too tested by Vaspian. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 12

 

BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS VS MIKE’S DETAILING (EVEN) - Well, here we go. Mike’s Detailing can help out the super secret formulas by taking a victory here in a matchup between what should be two of the top teams in the division. BWB has looked REALLY good lately, and historically I ride the hot hand here and I end up being wrong, so I’m going to switch it up here. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 3

 

MIKE’S DETAILING VS COBBLESTONE (+10) - Regardless of the outcome of the game before, MD gets a “get right” game either way when they take on Cobblestone at 3:00. Until I see more from Cobblestone, it’ll be hard to pick them in any game. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 10

 

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Sausage McMuffins 21, Blitzkrieg 21

Two Tuddies 36, Pit Harade 8

Not So Sticky 26, Blitzkrieg 9

Two Tuddies 36, Blitzkrieg 14

 

Blitzkrieg did the extremely rare tripleheader, and they started off with a tie against the McMuffins because of course they did. They’d pile up losses against NSS and the Tud Buds along the way too, and finish 0-2-1 on the day. The Tuddies also got a victory against Pit Harade to go to 5-0 and are sitting in the Driver’s Seat for the D5 title. 

 

RANDOM ANALYSIS

Mo' Chicken	0.763
Pit Harade	0.760
State Farm	0.739
Stir The Sauce	0.500
Blitzkrieg	0.483
Not So Sticky	0.480
McMuffins	0.300
PowerPuff Girls	0.263
Tuddies	0.220

 

My super secret comprehensive model suggests that Jake From State Farm is the sleeping giant in this division and they’re about to pop off and surprise everyone. Maybe this formula is broken. Or maybe JFSF will make me look even more BRILLIANT. It has the PowerPuff Girls as the top team overall, which makes sense. And it has the Tuddies as complete frauds who haven’t played anyone good yet. Considering they play Not So Sticky, PowerPuff Girls, and the McMuffins still, that might be true. There’s a world where the Tuddies are 5-3 at season’s end, isn’t there? I wouldn’t call them frauds though. 

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

STIR THE SAUCE VS PIT HARADE (+3) - STS comes into the game as slight favorites, but it’s worth noting that PH has only played the top 5 teams in the division so far so their numbers could be misleading. If either team wants to avoid the 8v9 play in game, they’ll need this win. It doesn’t guarantee they won’t be a part of it, but the tiebreaker helps. STIR THE SAUCE BY 10

 

JAKE FROM STATE FARM VS MO’ CHICKEN (+4) - I guess I have a new ride or die, at least for this week. JAKE FROM STATE FARM BY 14

 

BLITZKRIEG VS MO’ CHICKEN (+7) - Okay, 0-2-1 in one week isn’t the best outcome for BK, but at least they gave it a go. Mo’ Chicken hasn’t been a great team at all this season, save for the very random 38-14 win over STS. They’ve allowed over 50 points in all of their other games. BLITZKRIEG BY 18

 

TWO TUDDIES VS NOT SO STICKY (+1) - A fun rivalry game, as these two teams have had some good battles in the past. The Tuddies are going to be more focused than they were before they read that they might be on fraud watch a minute ago, and to be fair they’re a very good and fast team. This would be the win to get them on the right path. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

 

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+7) - The Powerpuffs come back this week looking to keep on rolling. They get a very good test in the McMuffins, who have looked so good in D5 so far. Girl Power. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 12

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

Raw Milkers 20, Balls Deep 12

Select 44, Intentional Clowning 32

TMA 34, Blue Ballers 17

Raw Milkers 46, Irish Giants 8

Sticky Laces 35, Dogg Pound 13

 

Sticky Laces win! Sticky Laces win! They finally get the first W of the season over the Dogg Pound. Select randomly looked like world beaters this week as they put down the clowns 44-32. Will they keep that up? The Raw Milkers got their first TWO wins this week, first upsetting Balls Deep, and then dominating the Irish Giants. Finally, TMA put down the Blue Ballers to remain the only unbeaten team in D6. 

 

RANDOM ANALYSIS

Sticky Laces	0.652
Raw Milkers	0.607
Select	0.520
Clowning	0.480
TMA	0.476
Irish Giants	0.476
Ballers	0.417
Balls Deep	0.417
Dogg Pound	0.320

 

First thing to say is that TMA is the best team in the division and their play in D6 is relative (according to my super secret formula) to Legends/ED in D1. That’s the TMA we all know and love. As for frauds, well, Balls Deep is once again the team that looks really good to start the season and as the season goes on they look worse and worse. The model predicts that again. Also, Dogg Pound may be taking advantage of an easier early season schedule and should fall off a little. As for sleepers/dark horses? I’ve talked about Sticky Laces all season, and their very hard schedule combined with an average of a one score loss suggests that you don’t want to play them in the playoffs. But it's the Raw Milkers that have the best chance to not only be a dark horse, they could win the whole thing. They only lost to TMA by 6, don't forget, and they’ve gotten better as the season has progressed. There’s also an argument to be made that if Select keeps it up, they could also make a run. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

TMA vs INTENTIONAL CLOWNING (+8) - The recent TMA would take this hot start and lose this game by 12. But this one feels different, Ryan has played very well, and the team feels more like a team than they have recently. All the things you want. TMA BY 10

 

STICKY LACES VS IRISH GIANTS (+13) - I think it’s time to put the Irish Giants to bed on this season. It’s been a tough one and now they’re getting a hungry Sticky Laces that are back on the rise? STICKY LACES BY 17

 

BALLS DEEP VS DOGG POUND (+10) - Oh cool, the two teams predicted to fall down the standings get to play each other. Both teams need this win, but overall I trust Balls Deep to score more. BALLS DEEP BY 8

 

BLUE BALLERS VS IRISH GIANTS (+14) - The Blue Ballers finally tasted defeat in this season last week, but losing to TMA when apparently not having your starting QB isn’t the worst loss to take. They’re still a top team in the division and should have an easy time this week. BLUE BALLERS BY 10

 

RAW MILKERS VS SELECT (+6) - The Raw Milkers might be good and getting better. Select might be good and getting better. At least the Milkers are more consistent as of right now. RAW MILKERS BY 12

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Does anyone have a bigger Saturday than Puckett? The model shows them as overachieving but the easiest way to prove it wrong would be going 2-0 against ILF and the Tots. 

 

 

 

• Speaking of the Tots, they should feel a little disrespected by the model for listing them behind teams they beat, right? 

 

 

 

• Will What A Dump make a splash in D1? The time to start that is this week. A win over the Legends would be huge. 

 

 

 

• Can’t Touch This is very good, because you have to be to beat the Mavs how they did last week. But until they have another dominating win or two, those “easy” wins will make them feel slightly inflated. 

 

 

 

• I know that winning all of their games make their SoS worse, but the Tuddies only having a .220 schedule strength so far is quite low. If they lose this week, there’s going to be questions if they’re on the level of the PPGs. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Breakfast Club potentially gets one of the games of the day, as the top teams in BC battle it out at 9am. Syd On My Face and ReinCARnated are both 4-0 and looking good! 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• ReinCARnated 36, Syd On My Face 22

• D’s Nutz 40, Mel-icious Minx 37

• Miles On It 32, Jen-X 31

 

 

 

• Games Of The Day: 

• 9:00 - ReinCARnated vs Syd On My Face

• 10:00 - Wanderers vs Passing While Intoxicated

• 11:00 - Mavericks vs The Malones

• 12:00 - What A Dump vs Legends

• 1:00 - Not So Sticky vs Two Tuddies

• 2:00 - Powerpuff Girls vs Sausage McMuffins

• 3:00 - Cobblestone vs Mike’s Detailing

 

 

 

• THE WINE TOURNAMENT HAS A DATE! IT’S AUGUST 9th! However, there are rumors that Jeff Krol won’t be able to be there, and it may get cancelled unless a couple of volunteers want to step up to make sure it runs smoothly. If he can’t be there, he’ll take care of everything before the event, you just have to do stuff on the 9th. He’ll have more info at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  

 

 

 

• NEXT WEEK IS LENNY AND RAMEER DAY. PREPARE TO BE THERE FOR A BIT AS WE’LL HAVE OUR DUNK TANK AND USUAL SHENANIGANS TO CELEBRATE THEM. 

 

 

 

• Just a casual thank you to everyone that’s been helping with the referee situation, and if you want to start reffing and make $30 an hour, you can talk to Jeff or Garrett, or really ref ASAP. 

 

 

 

• It sounds like some of the “unknown” ladies in Breakfast Club are starting to get noticed. That’s what it’s there for. Well, that and mimosas. 

 

 

 

• Three teams that need a win: Puckett, DXYZ, and the Mavericks

 

 

 

• Three teams that feel like they may fall off: PWI, Frodo, 716

 

 

 

• Three teams that will NOT fall off: Cunning Stunts, ILF, Powerpuff Girls. 

 

-GF OUT