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“Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov

 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to hump week. While that used to have a very different meaning in this league (and it was every week. Don’t believe me? Ask your league elders.) it still accurately describes our position on the TSL Spring 2025 calendar - we’re just about halfway through the season already. Once the games are played this Saturday, we’ll officially be halfway done with the year. It’s both sad and exciting. Sad because there’s only 6 weeks of TSL Spring Football left after this one (and two of them are the playoffs, so not everyone will have 6 weeks left) but exciting because The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality will really begin to heat up! 

 

The season, so far, hasn’t quite gone as most of you expected it would. 4 weeks ago it was safe to say that everyone thought you’d have great weather for the games. You haven’t. 2 of the 3 weeks so far have been rainy and not great. And this week doesn’t look too promising either. Cobblestone thought they’d have a full team show up by now. They haven’t. Everyone was hoping we’d get B’s Brother’s newest album to drop by now, or at least an updated, fully researched Spring 2025 version of his “Top 10 Hottest Ladies in the league” list. Or at least people clamoring to get on his Madden team like in years past. Honestly, B’s Brother has really dropped the ball lately. More than a few of you figured that by now your bodies would still be healthy and intact. They’re not. The league really thought it finally had a handle on getting constantly good refs and they’d have an easy season with them. Swing and a miss there. 

 

The point is that you never know what you’re going to get as a TSL season unfolds. As Lenny used to like to say “Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions.”, which is something he stole from Rowdy Roddy Piper. The greatest unscripted modern drama in the world today is a TSL season, and the Spring 2025 season is already living up to that billing. Check it out. 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Legends 38, Sticky Bandits 20

Legends 47, Eyes Downtown 42

Frodo Swaggins 36, Freeballers 14

 

  The Legends go 2-0 on the day to improve to 3-0 on the season after taking out Sticky and Eyes Downtown. Frodo Swaggins moves to 3-1 on the year with a win over the Freeballers. 

 

4 Weeks Ago: It sure felt like the Legends would roll the division, What A Dump would rise up after leaving Eyes Downtown, ED was going to fall off the face of the Earth after the WAD heel (face?) turn, and Frodo/Freeballers were just going to hang out and be about as competitive as a Baby Joe Mesi opponent (if you’re under 30, look it up). 

 

Current Vibes: Well hold the phone! (People used to say this regularly) It appears the anticipated demise of Eyes Downtown has been put on hold and it’s partially a testament to Bobby McConnell’s leadership and quarterbacking. And his ability to make people practice 2-3 times a week. ED just gave the Legends a run for their money, and might just “be back”. Legends still rock, but perhaps they can be beaten. Frodo and Freeballers have been much better than first thought, making D1 a bit more exciting. There WILL be a Freeballers upset of someone at some point this season. Frodo needs to look good the next 3 weeks to show they have a shot at this bye (2 games against Sticky, 1 against ED). 

 

This Week’s Games

 

What A Dump vs Freeballers (+7) - Both teams come into this matchup a combined 0-6. But they’re only losing games by a total of 10 points on average, which in TSL terms means “a one score game”. We know WAD has the talent, but are they going to get it together at all? They still have a lot of games left to do so, but maybe Cody bit off more than he could chew with jumping right into being a D1 QB? Freeballers have the better QB and the experience. And they’re hungry. FREEBALLERS BY 4

 

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - On paper, Sticky is the better team. Yes, the paper belongs to Jeff Krol but that shouldn’t matter here. This game has some decently big “regular season” implications, as the winner will be in the driver’s seat for the first round bye in the playoffs. Does that matter? Considering a loss could send them to be on track with a 4v5 playoff matchup against ED or WAD, I’d say yes. Frodo continues to grow every week, but this one ain’t it. STICKY BANDITS BY 11

 

Legends vs What A Dump (+10) - WAD gets their turn to see how they measure up to the champs. The Legends have felt like they’re on cruise control since the season started, as though they’re just trying to get to the playoffs and then they’ll turn it up a notch. But I do think last week’s “scare” against ED woke them up. LEGENDS BY 15

 

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+7) - And we already get the rematch? Great schedule work by the powers that be. Eyes Downtown HAS to be encouraged by their performance last week against Legends, and after a week of going over what went wrong, they’ll get to see just how nicely they can learn from those mistakes. However, the Legends might just want to set out to prove that last week was a fluke. It wasn’t. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 1

 

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Can’t Touch This 54, Mavericks 25

The Malones 21, Show Me Your TDs 0 (FORFEIT)

Jabronies 44, Scared Hitless 14

 

Can’t Touch This lays the official claim to the D2 throne with a throttling of the Mavericks, while the Jabronies continue to get into a nice groove in D2. The Malones were robbed of scoring 100 points when SMYTDs had to forfeit. 

 

4 Weeks Ago: D2 felt like we were headed to an all-out battle royale between every team in the division, especially if the new “Show Me Your TDs” team could ball out. Essentially, it would be like most of the past few seasons in D2. 

 

Current Vibes: There’s a split between the “haves” and the “have nots”. SMYTDs have yet to score a single point in three weeks. Scared Hitless looks more off than usual. The Jabronies might end up in a “tier” by themselves by season’s end, but their results against The Malones and Mavericks earlier in the year weren’t that encouraging. Meanwhile, Can’t Touch This looks like a dominating wrecking machine, averaging nearly 50 points a game. They look like a team that not only wants to win D2, but they want to play D1 football in the Fall. The Mavs are also playing well and can’t be counted out, and then of course there’s always The Malones who are also looking to take this D2 title. We have some really good D2 football games coming up in the next few weeks. 

This Week’s Game. Just Game. 

 

The Malones vs Scared Hitless (+17) - It feels wrong to give Scared Hitless so many points, but they could only muster up 14 points against the Jabronies last week. Something feels more off than usual for them this season, and while I’m confident they’ll figure it out and pull off some 3 point upset in the playoffs, I don’t think this is the week for shocking the world. THE MALONES BY 20

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Practice Squad 28, D-Generation X, Y, and Z 15

Bullet Club - Becca Gets Reccked (POSTPONED)

716 38 - Buffalo Vice 36

Wanderers 62, Cunning Stunts 45

Passing While Intoxicated 31, GirthQuakes 18

Practice Squad gets into the win column with a very good ‘team win’ over DXYZ. 716 continues to play close games, but wins this one against Buffalo Vice by 2 points. In the most marquee matchup we’ve had in a long, long time the Wanderers and Stunts put on a show, scoring over 100 points, but the Wanderers pulled away to win by 17. PWI took on the Quakes without Buddy Lee at QB last week, but having B play for them is just as good as they cruised to a win over the GQs. The BC-BGR game was postponed to a later date in the season for some reason. 

 

4 Weeks Ago: The entire division is an “Any Given Saturday” buffet, where you wouldn’t be surprised at nearly any result that comes your way. However, the Wanderers and the new D3 Stunts might be a little ahead of the rest of the pack. 

 

Current Vibes: The same, except that the Wanderers seem to have hit another gear and have pulled away from the pack a bit to become a clear #1 favorite (they average 47 points a game currently, but more shockingly than anything else in the TSL right now is that they’ve only played ONE one score game of the four they’ve played so far. Who are these guys?), while the Stunts have yet to win a game in D3 which is a little surprising, but they’ve only played 2 games so far anyway. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

716 vs Passing While Intoxicated (EVEN) - Two teams that currently find themselves 2nd and 3rd in the standings, as they’re both getting off to good starts this year. While neither team “needs” the win, both teams have to look at this game as one they “have” to win if they have dreams of a D3 title. I think the offenses are similar, but right now I’d take the PWI defense (as long as they sit Colorado Mike) for sure and I think PWI has the better QB. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 4

 

Wanderers vs D-Generation X, Y, and Z (+7) - The Wanderers haven’t looked this good in a few seasons, but for whatever reason they have their mojo back. DXYZ can’t be happy with how the current season is going, sitting at 1-2 after losses to Practice Squad and 716. Their lone win was only by a point over the GQs as well. This is a matchup of one team clicking on all cylinders and the other misfiring a lot. WANDERERS BY 17

 

Becca Gets Reccked vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - It would feel weird to give the Stunts points, and perhaps we should be a little more kind to the ladies who are in the middle of their worst start to a season in forever. The jump from D4 to D3 is a decent one, and they have to get settled in. They DID just score 45 points against the Wanderers after all. But BGR represents a very, very good D3 team if they actually all show up. The “Gets Reccked” franchise leads the league in “man games missed” overall since they made the jump to D3. It’s why you see them finish as a 6 seed but battling for the D3 title. The Stunts just lost to the best team in the division, and if BGR is all there, they’ll lose to the second best team in the division too. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 7

 

Practice Squad vs GirthQuakes (+9) - The Squad is starting to heat up, which could mean bad things for D3. A good loss to Bullet Club in Week 1, followed by a heartbreaking 1 point loss to Buffalo Vice in Week 2 put them in an 0-2 hole and had them thinking “oh not again” in terms of another rough season of close losses. They took care of business last week though, and while I assumed Kenny put them all on his back, it appears it was a team effort. The GQs are 1-3 with a schedule that really hasn’t done them any favors. The jump to D3 was seen as ill advised, and then the roster turnover really put them in a hole. But they’re battling hard! There’s some good players on this team, and someone sent me a picture of their jerseys last week and they look pretty cool. People forget how important that is. I expect them to keep this close, which is just a nice way of saying they’re going to lose. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 6

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks 22, Tater Tots 15

Mike’s Detailing 41, Come From Behind 12

Puckett 36, Vaspian 22

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 21, Cobblestone 0 (FORFEIT)

 

BWIB took care of business against the Tots in a matchup of two even teams. Mike’s Detailing continues to come together, dominating Come From Behind in an almost surprising fashion. Puckett continues to coast through the season, dispatching of Vaspian, while ILF gets a win as Cobblestone is becoming the TSL’s version of the “free space” on a bingo board as unreliable goons continue to let down league darling Darryl Carr QB Superstar. 

 

4 Weeks Ago: The tyranny of the Cunning Stunts has left the division, leaving ILF a very clear path to the throne they’ve been so close to claiming for a while now. Everyone else seems to be a step or two behind. 

 

Current Vibes: ILF doesn’t look very “world beating-y” as once thought (they could only muster up 21 points against Cobblestone for example) while other teams seem just as good, if not better. Puckett dropped the “All-Stars” but they’re still doing what they’ve always done best: Win in D4. Come From Behind looks just about as dominant as they have been in recent times, even with last week’s loss to Mike’s Detailing, who is another team that continues to grow and impress. Oh, and the Tots and BWIB are lurking too. Feels “Thunderdome” like nowadays. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Come From Behind vs Tater Tots (+8) - CFB must’ve had everything that could go wrong go wrong for them last week and they’ll look to get back on track this week against a Tater Tots team that has a big, big week ahead of them. The Tots could’ve won last week, but just couldn’t get it together and now find themselves staring up at the rest of the division. The Tots have two very tough games this week, so we’re going to find out what they’re made of. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

 

Mike’s Detailing vs Tater Tots (+6) - Mike’s Detailing has a pretty big week ahead of themselves as well, and they’ll get the Tots on the backend of a doubleheader. The rest advantage always plays a role in these things, and if the Tots lose the first game, you have to wonder if their heads will be in this one. It’s a pretty good spot for MD here. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 7

 

Vaspian vs Cobblestone (+21) - I appreciate Vegas making this spread the exact amount of a forfeit loss. These two teams are currently earmarked for last and second last in the division this year. Cobblestone could change their fortunes once they actually play some games, but Vaspian is struggling hard. This team was never a big offensive dynamo, but they made up for that with some of the best defensive play in the TSL. However, it seems like that defense is long gone, and the offense can’t cover for it. COBBLESTONE BY 3 IF THEY SHOW UP

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Bird Watching In Birkenstocks (+6) - ILF vs BWIB. That’s better. Here’s another “both teams need this win” game. A win for BWIB will give them all of the confidence in the world, not to mention it may shatter whatever confidence ILF has left, thus giving them a bonus advantage for the rest of the season. ILF needs the win to quiet the outside whispers about them that get louder and louder each week. This should be a good one. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 13

 

Puckett vs Mike’s Detailing (+2) - Here’s a very good game with Game of the Week potential! Puckett has been cruising so far this season, although it can be argued that two of those wins were against Vaspian and Cobblestone, so we’ll really learn more about them as they get into the meat of their schedule. The other win? A 3 point victory over Mike’s Detailing in a barnburner. I expect another close game here, but a different outcome. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 2

 

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Blitzkrieg 29, Jake From State Farm 18

Sausage McMuffins 33, Pit Harade 23

Not So Sticky 21, Stir The Sauce 20

Two Tuddies 53, Mo’ Chicken 8

 

Blitzkrieg gets on the board in the win column this season, taking their first D5 win last week over JFSF. The McMuffins continue to roll in D5, beating Pit Harade by 10. Not So Sticky squeaks by Stir The Sauce to move to 2-1 on the season. And the Tud Buds look to be in arguably the best form in the entire TSL, walloping Mo’ Chicken 53-8. 

 

4 Weeks Ago: Come From Behind is gone, which leaves some room at the top. The Two Tuddies look to be favorites, alongside the Powerpuff Girls. Will the D6 teams be able to compete? Who will win the STS-JFSF split?

 

Current Vibes: The Two Tuddies look better than they ever have and the Powerpuff Girls look like the best gender team in the league. Sausage McMuffins look much improved even from last season and they’re right back into contending for a title. Nobody won the STS-JFSF split, as the teams are a combined 1-6 right now. Vibes are not good there. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - A battle of delicious foods as the McMuffins take on the brand new Mo’ Chicken. Mo followed up the first win in franchise history with an absolutely horrendous blowout loss to the Tuddies, so we’re still not sure what we’re going to get. But we do know that the McMuffins are going to play smart football, and more than likely win a one score game, kind of like a discount version of the Wanderers. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 12

 

Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade (+10) - Another old D6 rivalry renewed! Blitzkrieg seems to be settling in just fine in D5, while Pit Harade is struggling this season. I’m assuming that’s just what happens when you bring on Langley to be your QB though. PH hasn’t been bad this season, they just haven’t been good enough. While they’re figuring that out, it looks like BK got back onto the same page with each other. BLITZKRIEG BY 13

 

Powerpuff Girls vs Not So Sticky (+8) - Not So Sticky isn’t exactly known for scoring a ton of points, and the PPGs are. It’s a bad matchup for NSS (or anyone really) and they’ll have to devise a winning plan to pull off this upset. The PPGs are looking good early on this season, but they just continue to get better and better and they feel like they’ll be playing in D4 in the fall. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 8

 

Stir The Sauce vs Jake From State Farm (+7) - OH IT’S ON! The rivalry we didn’t know we wanted is here after these two rosters split in the offseason. Now we’re getting a battle for the ages as JFSF would like nothing more than to get their first win against STS. And with STS’ All World TSL Superstar Wrestler Dan’s focus apparently being directed at other leagues, this is the perfect time for JFSF to strike. JAKE FROM STATE FARM BY 1

 

Powerpuff Girls vs Jake From State Farm (+14) - But the fun of the rivalry game will only last for a few minutes as JFSF gets the PPGs next and I’m not sure they’re ready for a challenge of that magnitude just yet. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 20

 

D6

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Balls Deep 36, Irish Giants 7

Blue Ballers 53, Intentional Clowning 28

TMA 36, Raw Milkers 30

Select 29, Sticky Laces 14

 

Balls Deep handles their business against the Irish Giants, while the Blue Ballers do the same against the Clowns. TMA stays undefeated with a win over the Milkers, and Select gets into the win column with a win over the Laces. 

 

4 Weeks Ago: The Irish Giants and Sticky Laces look to be on a collision course for the title! Select should fare very well in D6 and be in the mix for the championship! Hey it’s TMA! They’ll be competitive probably. And there’s some other teams we know nothing about really. 

 

Current Vibes: Balls Deep and the Blue Ballers have separated themselves from the pack, and TMA looks back. The Sticky Laces are arguably the most shocking disappointment in the league right now, and the Irish Giants were given a little too much respect to start the season. The Dogg Pound has already surpassed their preseason over/under of 1.5 wins. 

 

This Week’s Games

 

Intentional Clowning vs Raw Milkers (+7) - Just Clowning By Day seems to be following their usual script. Kind of bop around and hang out in the middle of the pack, then pull it together in the second half of the season. The Raw Milkers are brand new, but they’re faring about as well as any “brand new team” does in the TSL. They’re scoring some points which is a good sign, and they’re keeping it close. I heard they lost to TMA at the end of the game, so that should be encouraging. IC isn’t a world beater right now, and maybe they’re ripe for the picking. Or should I say milking? RAW MILKERS BY 2

 

Balls Deep vs TMA (+8) - Assuming we don’t get a tie, one of these two D6 title contenders will get their first loss of the season. Balls Deep has looked so good, and they’re approaching “juggernaut” status. The key for them is keeping the foot on the gas pedal and not getting complacent. They’re a very real D6 title contender. TMA hasn’t been 2-0 since 1974, at least that’s how it feels, but they have the old TMA vibes back a bit. Perhaps going back to having more fun than worrying about winning will do wonders for them. BALLS DEEP BY 14

 

Blue Ballers vs Sticky Laces (+13) - A surefire Game Of The Week here as we get a potential D6 title game preview A story of two teams going in opposite directions. The Blue Ballers have made seemingly the right roster moves this season as they’ve been on fire from the jump, sitting at 3-0 and averaging a 44-19 win. The Sticky Laces went from D6 championship pick to “what the hell happened here?”, as they’re sitting at 0-3 with more questions than answers after a loss to a Select team that couldn’t score more than 6 points in a game before they played. Could Sticky win? Sure. It wouldn’t be that surprising. Will they? Nope. BLUE BALLERS BY 18

 

Select vs Dogg Pound (EVEN) - Select finally got the monkey off their back in D6, with a very nice win against the Sticky Laces. The Dogg Pound didn’t play last week, but they’re vibing along with a 2-1 record and they’re getting better by the week. DP doesn’t score a ton, but their defense is pretty good. Not sure if Select can replicate what happened last week just yet. DOGG POUND BY 4

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Is there a team with a bigger week ahead than the Tater Tots? The Tots have all the talent in the world but they haven’t quite put it together just yet this season. If they want to be considered a D4 title contender, going 2-0 against CFB and Mike’s Detailing would absolutely put them there. On the other side of things, the same goes for Mike’s Detailing and if they go 2-0 against the Tots and Puckett. Big, big games in D4 this week. 

 

 

 

• Saying Eyes Downtown was dead looks to be quite the mistake. It’s actually impressive how well they’re playing together after just a short time as a team and they’re in D1 too. Can they continue playing this well or was last week a fluke? Do the Legends step it up this week to destroy any confidence ED gained from last week? 

 

 

 

• Is there a more underrated and less talked about team in the TSL than Buffalo Vice? They’ve been around forever, everyone knows (but forgets) that Caitlyn Mason is All-TSL, and the rest of the team can just flat out play. They’re 1-2, and ignoring the loss to the Wanderers who are just on a heater right now, they’re a play away from being 2-1. They seem to get lost in the middle of the tornado that is D3, but maybe that’s how they like it? 

 

 

 

• What's the biggest reason for Frodo’s jump up in overall play? No, it’s not Garrett ascending at the QB position. Multiple league sources have told me that a lot of it is because of how well Katie Swanson has been playing this season. She’s gone up a level or two in her play, finally realizing even more of her potential than ever before. 

 

 

 

• Is it weird to you too that nobody is really talking about the Sticky Bandits? They’re arguably the least interesting team in D1. It’s not really their fault, they’re just very consistent while the other teams in D1 have more interesting story lines developing. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• It looks like rain for everyone in Buffalo, so good luck. At least it’ll be warm? Pay attention to the facebook page for any updates on any cancellations. 

 

 

 

• Remember, if you want to ref, just ask Garrett or Jeff Krol to be put on the email chain or in the ref chat so you can pick up a game or two if the league needs someone! 

 

 

 

• Don’t like what I said above? Disagree with it? Email me your issues at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Syd On My Face 30, Miles On It 17

• Mel-icious Minx 34, Jen-X 31

• D’s Nuts 40, ReinCARnated 30

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - 716 vs Passing While Intoxicated

• 11:00 - Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins

• 12:00 - Tater Tots vs Mike’s Detailing

• 1:00 - Legends vs Eyes Downtown

• 2:00 - Becca Gets Reccked vs Cunning Stunts

 

 

 

• Are the Two Tuddies for real? Yes, they’re 3-0. Yes, they average nearly 43 points a game. And yes, shirtless Chris is finally shirtless so all is right in the world. But the teams they’ve played are a combined 2-8 and aren’t very good. What happens when they start to play the better teams? 

 

 

 

• It amazes me how many people see how much fun the players have in Breakfast Club every year and it makes them want to play after having some seasons where Jeff Krol and the captains are recruiting VERY hard. Everyone should play and have a blast. You’ll love it. I miss it. 

 

 

 

• I know I’m jixing it but I’d love to see our first game at 10:00 on Lenny and Rameer Day (June 7th) be the 6-0 Blue Ballers vs the 6-0 Balls Deep. THAT would be a game that would celebrate our fallen heroes. 

 

 

 

• If I’m a D1 team, or maybe a D2 team with D1 aspirations, I’m making a mixtape and sending flowers every week to “Free Agent Except For The Powerpuff Girls” Amber to woo her onto my roster for the fall. It’s very rare a top female in the league casually doesn’t have ties to a team. Could you imagine her on Frodo? That would REALLY make D1 Great Again. 

 

 

 

• It seems The Sentinel isn’t writing every single week anymore. Perhaps they can’t see what’s going on as well from Florida. What a shame. 

 

 

Week 4 is here and it’s going to be quite a time. I’m excited to see who comes out of this one unscathed. 

 

-GF OUT

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