WEEK 4 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 16 May 2025 16:38

Published: Friday, 16 May 2025 16:38

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1320

“Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to hump week. While that used to have a very different meaning in this league (and it was every week. Don’t believe me? Ask your league elders.) it still accurately describes our position on the TSL Spring 2025 calendar - we’re just about halfway through the season already. Once the games are played this Saturday, we’ll officially be halfway done with the year. It’s both sad and exciting. Sad because there’s only 6 weeks of TSL Spring Football left after this one (and two of them are the playoffs, so not everyone will have 6 weeks left) but exciting because The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality will really begin to heat up! 

The season, so far, hasn’t quite gone as most of you expected it would. 4 weeks ago it was safe to say that everyone thought you’d have great weather for the games. You haven’t. 2 of the 3 weeks so far have been rainy and not great. And this week doesn’t look too promising either. Cobblestone thought they’d have a full team show up by now. They haven’t. Everyone was hoping we’d get B’s Brother’s newest album to drop by now, or at least an updated, fully researched Spring 2025 version of his “Top 10 Hottest Ladies in the league” list. Or at least people clamoring to get on his Madden team like in years past. Honestly, B’s Brother has really dropped the ball lately. More than a few of you figured that by now your bodies would still be healthy and intact. They’re not. The league really thought it finally had a handle on getting constantly good refs and they’d have an easy season with them. Swing and a miss there. 

The point is that you never know what you’re going to get as a TSL season unfolds. As Lenny used to like to say “Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions.”, which is something he stole from Rowdy Roddy Piper. The greatest unscripted modern drama in the world today is a TSL season, and the Spring 2025 season is already living up to that billing. Check it out. 

D1

Last Week’s Games

Legends 38, Sticky Bandits 20

Legends 47, Eyes Downtown 42

Frodo Swaggins 36, Freeballers 14

  The Legends go 2-0 on the day to improve to 3-0 on the season after taking out Sticky and Eyes Downtown. Frodo Swaggins moves to 3-1 on the year with a win over the Freeballers. 

4 Weeks Ago: It sure felt like the Legends would roll the division, What A Dump would rise up after leaving Eyes Downtown, ED was going to fall off the face of the Earth after the WAD heel (face?) turn, and Frodo/Freeballers were just going to hang out and be about as competitive as a Baby Joe Mesi opponent (if you’re under 30, look it up). 

Current Vibes: Well hold the phone! (People used to say this regularly) It appears the anticipated demise of Eyes Downtown has been put on hold and it’s partially a testament to Bobby McConnell’s leadership and quarterbacking. And his ability to make people practice 2-3 times a week. ED just gave the Legends a run for their money, and might just “be back”. Legends still rock, but perhaps they can be beaten. Frodo and Freeballers have been much better than first thought, making D1 a bit more exciting. There WILL be a Freeballers upset of someone at some point this season. Frodo needs to look good the next 3 weeks to show they have a shot at this bye (2 games against Sticky, 1 against ED). 

This Week’s Games

What A Dump vs Freeballers (+7) - Both teams come into this matchup a combined 0-6. But they’re only losing games by a total of 10 points on average, which in TSL terms means “a one score game”. We know WAD has the talent, but are they going to get it together at all? They still have a lot of games left to do so, but maybe Cody bit off more than he could chew with jumping right into being a D1 QB? Freeballers have the better QB and the experience. And they’re hungry. FREEBALLERS BY 4

Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - On paper, Sticky is the better team. Yes, the paper belongs to Jeff Krol but that shouldn’t matter here. This game has some decently big “regular season” implications, as the winner will be in the driver’s seat for the first round bye in the playoffs. Does that matter? Considering a loss could send them to be on track with a 4v5 playoff matchup against ED or WAD, I’d say yes. Frodo continues to grow every week, but this one ain’t it. STICKY BANDITS BY 11

Legends vs What A Dump (+10) - WAD gets their turn to see how they measure up to the champs. The Legends have felt like they’re on cruise control since the season started, as though they’re just trying to get to the playoffs and then they’ll turn it up a notch. But I do think last week’s “scare” against ED woke them up. LEGENDS BY 15

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+7) - And we already get the rematch? Great schedule work by the powers that be. Eyes Downtown HAS to be encouraged by their performance last week against Legends, and after a week of going over what went wrong, they’ll get to see just how nicely they can learn from those mistakes. However, the Legends might just want to set out to prove that last week was a fluke. It wasn’t. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 1

D2

Last Week’s Games

Can’t Touch This 54, Mavericks 25

The Malones 21, Show Me Your TDs 0 (FORFEIT)

Jabronies 44, Scared Hitless 14

Can’t Touch This lays the official claim to the D2 throne with a throttling of the Mavericks, while the Jabronies continue to get into a nice groove in D2. The Malones were robbed of scoring 100 points when SMYTDs had to forfeit. 

4 Weeks Ago: D2 felt like we were headed to an all-out battle royale between every team in the division, especially if the new “Show Me Your TDs” team could ball out. Essentially, it would be like most of the past few seasons in D2. 

Current Vibes: There’s a split between the “haves” and the “have nots”. SMYTDs have yet to score a single point in three weeks. Scared Hitless looks more off than usual. The Jabronies might end up in a “tier” by themselves by season’s end, but their results against The Malones and Mavericks earlier in the year weren’t that encouraging. Meanwhile, Can’t Touch This looks like a dominating wrecking machine, averaging nearly 50 points a game. They look like a team that not only wants to win D2, but they want to play D1 football in the Fall. The Mavs are also playing well and can’t be counted out, and then of course there’s always The Malones who are also looking to take this D2 title. We have some really good D2 football games coming up in the next few weeks. 

This Week’s Game. Just Game. 

The Malones vs Scared Hitless (+17) - It feels wrong to give Scared Hitless so many points, but they could only muster up 14 points against the Jabronies last week. Something feels more off than usual for them this season, and while I’m confident they’ll figure it out and pull off some 3 point upset in the playoffs, I don’t think this is the week for shocking the world. THE MALONES BY 20

D3

Last Week’s Games

Practice Squad 28, D-Generation X, Y, and Z 15

Bullet Club - Becca Gets Reccked (POSTPONED)

716 38 - Buffalo Vice 36

Wanderers 62, Cunning Stunts 45

Passing While Intoxicated 31, GirthQuakes 18

Practice Squad gets into the win column with a very good ‘team win’ over DXYZ. 716 continues to play close games, but wins this one against Buffalo Vice by 2 points. In the most marquee matchup we’ve had in a long, long time the Wanderers and Stunts put on a show, scoring over 100 points, but the Wanderers pulled away to win by 17. PWI took on the Quakes without Buddy Lee at QB last week, but having B play for them is just as good as they cruised to a win over the GQs. The BC-BGR game was postponed to a later date in the season for some reason. 

4 Weeks Ago: The entire division is an “Any Given Saturday” buffet, where you wouldn’t be surprised at nearly any result that comes your way. However, the Wanderers and the new D3 Stunts might be a little ahead of the rest of the pack. 

Current Vibes: The same, except that the Wanderers seem to have hit another gear and have pulled away from the pack a bit to become a clear #1 favorite (they average 47 points a game currently, but more shockingly than anything else in the TSL right now is that they’ve only played ONE one score game of the four they’ve played so far. Who are these guys?), while the Stunts have yet to win a game in D3 which is a little surprising, but they’ve only played 2 games so far anyway. 

This Week’s Games

716 vs Passing While Intoxicated (EVEN) - Two teams that currently find themselves 2nd and 3rd in the standings, as they’re both getting off to good starts this year. While neither team “needs” the win, both teams have to look at this game as one they “have” to win if they have dreams of a D3 title. I think the offenses are similar, but right now I’d take the PWI defense (as long as they sit Colorado Mike) for sure and I think PWI has the better QB. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 4

Wanderers vs D-Generation X, Y, and Z (+7) - The Wanderers haven’t looked this good in a few seasons, but for whatever reason they have their mojo back. DXYZ can’t be happy with how the current season is going, sitting at 1-2 after losses to Practice Squad and 716. Their lone win was only by a point over the GQs as well. This is a matchup of one team clicking on all cylinders and the other misfiring a lot. WANDERERS BY 17

Becca Gets Reccked vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - It would feel weird to give the Stunts points, and perhaps we should be a little more kind to the ladies who are in the middle of their worst start to a season in forever. The jump from D4 to D3 is a decent one, and they have to get settled in. They DID just score 45 points against the Wanderers after all. But BGR represents a very, very good D3 team if they actually all show up. The “Gets Reccked” franchise leads the league in “man games missed” overall since they made the jump to D3. It’s why you see them finish as a 6 seed but battling for the D3 title. The Stunts just lost to the best team in the division, and if BGR is all there, they’ll lose to the second best team in the division too. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 7

Practice Squad vs GirthQuakes (+9) - The Squad is starting to heat up, which could mean bad things for D3. A good loss to Bullet Club in Week 1, followed by a heartbreaking 1 point loss to Buffalo Vice in Week 2 put them in an 0-2 hole and had them thinking “oh not again” in terms of another rough season of close losses. They took care of business last week though, and while I assumed Kenny put them all on his back, it appears it was a team effort. The GQs are 1-3 with a schedule that really hasn’t done them any favors. The jump to D3 was seen as ill advised, and then the roster turnover really put them in a hole. But they’re battling hard! There’s some good players on this team, and someone sent me a picture of their jerseys last week and they look pretty cool. People forget how important that is. I expect them to keep this close, which is just a nice way of saying they’re going to lose. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 6

D4

Last Week’s Games

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks 22, Tater Tots 15

Mike’s Detailing 41, Come From Behind 12

Puckett 36, Vaspian 22

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 21, Cobblestone 0 (FORFEIT)

BWIB took care of business against the Tots in a matchup of two even teams. Mike’s Detailing continues to come together, dominating Come From Behind in an almost surprising fashion. Puckett continues to coast through the season, dispatching of Vaspian, while ILF gets a win as Cobblestone is becoming the TSL’s version of the “free space” on a bingo board as unreliable goons continue to let down league darling Darryl Carr QB Superstar. 

4 Weeks Ago: The tyranny of the Cunning Stunts has left the division, leaving ILF a very clear path to the throne they’ve been so close to claiming for a while now. Everyone else seems to be a step or two behind. 

Current Vibes: ILF doesn’t look very “world beating-y” as once thought (they could only muster up 21 points against Cobblestone for example) while other teams seem just as good, if not better. Puckett dropped the “All-Stars” but they’re still doing what they’ve always done best: Win in D4. Come From Behind looks just about as dominant as they have been in recent times, even with last week’s loss to Mike’s Detailing, who is another team that continues to grow and impress. Oh, and the Tots and BWIB are lurking too. Feels “Thunderdome” like nowadays. 

This Week’s Games

Come From Behind vs Tater Tots (+8) - CFB must’ve had everything that could go wrong go wrong for them last week and they’ll look to get back on track this week against a Tater Tots team that has a big, big week ahead of them. The Tots could’ve won last week, but just couldn’t get it together and now find themselves staring up at the rest of the division. The Tots have two very tough games this week, so we’re going to find out what they’re made of. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

Mike’s Detailing vs Tater Tots (+6) - Mike’s Detailing has a pretty big week ahead of themselves as well, and they’ll get the Tots on the backend of a doubleheader. The rest advantage always plays a role in these things, and if the Tots lose the first game, you have to wonder if their heads will be in this one. It’s a pretty good spot for MD here. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 7

Vaspian vs Cobblestone (+21) - I appreciate Vegas making this spread the exact amount of a forfeit loss. These two teams are currently earmarked for last and second last in the division this year. Cobblestone could change their fortunes once they actually play some games, but Vaspian is struggling hard. This team was never a big offensive dynamo, but they made up for that with some of the best defensive play in the TSL. However, it seems like that defense is long gone, and the offense can’t cover for it. COBBLESTONE BY 3 IF THEY SHOW UP

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Bird Watching In Birkenstocks (+6) - ILF vs BWIB. That’s better. Here’s another “both teams need this win” game. A win for BWIB will give them all of the confidence in the world, not to mention it may shatter whatever confidence ILF has left, thus giving them a bonus advantage for the rest of the season. ILF needs the win to quiet the outside whispers about them that get louder and louder each week. This should be a good one. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 13

Puckett vs Mike’s Detailing (+2) - Here’s a very good game with Game of the Week potential! Puckett has been cruising so far this season, although it can be argued that two of those wins were against Vaspian and Cobblestone, so we’ll really learn more about them as they get into the meat of their schedule. The other win? A 3 point victory over Mike’s Detailing in a barnburner. I expect another close game here, but a different outcome. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 2

D5

Last Week’s Games

Blitzkrieg 29, Jake From State Farm 18

Sausage McMuffins 33, Pit Harade 23

Not So Sticky 21, Stir The Sauce 20

Two Tuddies 53, Mo’ Chicken 8

Blitzkrieg gets on the board in the win column this season, taking their first D5 win last week over JFSF. The McMuffins continue to roll in D5, beating Pit Harade by 10. Not So Sticky squeaks by Stir The Sauce to move to 2-1 on the season. And the Tud Buds look to be in arguably the best form in the entire TSL, walloping Mo’ Chicken 53-8. 

4 Weeks Ago: Come From Behind is gone, which leaves some room at the top. The Two Tuddies look to be favorites, alongside the Powerpuff Girls. Will the D6 teams be able to compete? Who will win the STS-JFSF split?

Current Vibes: The Two Tuddies look better than they ever have and the Powerpuff Girls look like the best gender team in the league. Sausage McMuffins look much improved even from last season and they’re right back into contending for a title. Nobody won the STS-JFSF split, as the teams are a combined 1-6 right now. Vibes are not good there. 

This Week’s Games:

Sausage McMuffins vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - A battle of delicious foods as the McMuffins take on the brand new Mo’ Chicken. Mo followed up the first win in franchise history with an absolutely horrendous blowout loss to the Tuddies, so we’re still not sure what we’re going to get. But we do know that the McMuffins are going to play smart football, and more than likely win a one score game, kind of like a discount version of the Wanderers. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 12

Blitzkrieg vs Pit Harade (+10) - Another old D6 rivalry renewed! Blitzkrieg seems to be settling in just fine in D5, while Pit Harade is struggling this season. I’m assuming that’s just what happens when you bring on Langley to be your QB though. PH hasn’t been bad this season, they just haven’t been good enough. While they’re figuring that out, it looks like BK got back onto the same page with each other. BLITZKRIEG BY 13

Powerpuff Girls vs Not So Sticky (+8) - Not So Sticky isn’t exactly known for scoring a ton of points, and the PPGs are. It’s a bad matchup for NSS (or anyone really) and they’ll have to devise a winning plan to pull off this upset. The PPGs are looking good early on this season, but they just continue to get better and better and they feel like they’ll be playing in D4 in the fall. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 8

Stir The Sauce vs Jake From State Farm (+7) - OH IT’S ON! The rivalry we didn’t know we wanted is here after these two rosters split in the offseason. Now we’re getting a battle for the ages as JFSF would like nothing more than to get their first win against STS. And with STS’ All World TSL Superstar Wrestler Dan’s focus apparently being directed at other leagues, this is the perfect time for JFSF to strike. JAKE FROM STATE FARM BY 1

Powerpuff Girls vs Jake From State Farm (+14) - But the fun of the rivalry game will only last for a few minutes as JFSF gets the PPGs next and I’m not sure they’re ready for a challenge of that magnitude just yet. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 20

D6

Last Week’s Games

Balls Deep 36, Irish Giants 7

Blue Ballers 53, Intentional Clowning 28

TMA 36, Raw Milkers 30

Select 29, Sticky Laces 14

Balls Deep handles their business against the Irish Giants, while the Blue Ballers do the same against the Clowns. TMA stays undefeated with a win over the Milkers, and Select gets into the win column with a win over the Laces. 

4 Weeks Ago: The Irish Giants and Sticky Laces look to be on a collision course for the title! Select should fare very well in D6 and be in the mix for the championship! Hey it’s TMA! They’ll be competitive probably. And there’s some other teams we know nothing about really. 

Current Vibes: Balls Deep and the Blue Ballers have separated themselves from the pack, and TMA looks back. The Sticky Laces are arguably the most shocking disappointment in the league right now, and the Irish Giants were given a little too much respect to start the season. The Dogg Pound has already surpassed their preseason over/under of 1.5 wins. 

This Week’s Games

Intentional Clowning vs Raw Milkers (+7) - Just Clowning By Day seems to be following their usual script. Kind of bop around and hang out in the middle of the pack, then pull it together in the second half of the season. The Raw Milkers are brand new, but they’re faring about as well as any “brand new team” does in the TSL. They’re scoring some points which is a good sign, and they’re keeping it close. I heard they lost to TMA at the end of the game, so that should be encouraging. IC isn’t a world beater right now, and maybe they’re ripe for the picking. Or should I say milking? RAW MILKERS BY 2

Balls Deep vs TMA (+8) - Assuming we don’t get a tie, one of these two D6 title contenders will get their first loss of the season. Balls Deep has looked so good, and they’re approaching “juggernaut” status. The key for them is keeping the foot on the gas pedal and not getting complacent. They’re a very real D6 title contender. TMA hasn’t been 2-0 since 1974, at least that’s how it feels, but they have the old TMA vibes back a bit. Perhaps going back to having more fun than worrying about winning will do wonders for them. BALLS DEEP BY 14

Blue Ballers vs Sticky Laces (+13) - A surefire Game Of The Week here as we get a potential D6 title game preview A story of two teams going in opposite directions. The Blue Ballers have made seemingly the right roster moves this season as they’ve been on fire from the jump, sitting at 3-0 and averaging a 44-19 win. The Sticky Laces went from D6 championship pick to “what the hell happened here?”, as they’re sitting at 0-3 with more questions than answers after a loss to a Select team that couldn’t score more than 6 points in a game before they played. Could Sticky win? Sure. It wouldn’t be that surprising. Will they? Nope. BLUE BALLERS BY 18

Select vs Dogg Pound (EVEN) - Select finally got the monkey off their back in D6, with a very nice win against the Sticky Laces. The Dogg Pound didn’t play last week, but they’re vibing along with a 2-1 record and they’re getting better by the week. DP doesn’t score a ton, but their defense is pretty good. Not sure if Select can replicate what happened last week just yet. DOGG POUND BY 4

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

• Is there a team with a bigger week ahead than the Tater Tots? The Tots have all the talent in the world but they haven’t quite put it together just yet this season. If they want to be considered a D4 title contender, going 2-0 against CFB and Mike’s Detailing would absolutely put them there. On the other side of things, the same goes for Mike’s Detailing and if they go 2-0 against the Tots and Puckett. Big, big games in D4 this week. 

• Saying Eyes Downtown was dead looks to be quite the mistake. It’s actually impressive how well they’re playing together after just a short time as a team and they’re in D1 too. Can they continue playing this well or was last week a fluke? Do the Legends step it up this week to destroy any confidence ED gained from last week? 

• Is there a more underrated and less talked about team in the TSL than Buffalo Vice? They’ve been around forever, everyone knows (but forgets) that Caitlyn Mason is All-TSL, and the rest of the team can just flat out play. They’re 1-2, and ignoring the loss to the Wanderers who are just on a heater right now, they’re a play away from being 2-1. They seem to get lost in the middle of the tornado that is D3, but maybe that’s how they like it? 

• What's the biggest reason for Frodo’s jump up in overall play? No, it’s not Garrett ascending at the QB position. Multiple league sources have told me that a lot of it is because of how well Katie Swanson has been playing this season. She’s gone up a level or two in her play, finally realizing even more of her potential than ever before. 

• Is it weird to you too that nobody is really talking about the Sticky Bandits? They’re arguably the least interesting team in D1. It’s not really their fault, they’re just very consistent while the other teams in D1 have more interesting story lines developing. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

• It looks like rain for everyone in Buffalo, so good luck. At least it’ll be warm? Pay attention to the facebook page for any updates on any cancellations. 

• Remember, if you want to ref, just ask Garrett or Jeff Krol to be put on the email chain or in the ref chat so you can pick up a game or two if the league needs someone! 

• Don’t like what I said above? Disagree with it? Email me your issues at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Syd On My Face 30, Miles On It 17

• Mel-icious Minx 34, Jen-X 31

• D’s Nuts 40, ReinCARnated 30

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - 716 vs Passing While Intoxicated

• 11:00 - Sticky Bandits vs Frodo Swaggins

• 12:00 - Tater Tots vs Mike’s Detailing

• 1:00 - Legends vs Eyes Downtown

• 2:00 - Becca Gets Reccked vs Cunning Stunts

• Are the Two Tuddies for real? Yes, they’re 3-0. Yes, they average nearly 43 points a game. And yes, shirtless Chris is finally shirtless so all is right in the world. But the teams they’ve played are a combined 2-8 and aren’t very good. What happens when they start to play the better teams? 

• It amazes me how many people see how much fun the players have in Breakfast Club every year and it makes them want to play after having some seasons where Jeff Krol and the captains are recruiting VERY hard. Everyone should play and have a blast. You’ll love it. I miss it. 

• I know I’m jixing it but I’d love to see our first game at 10:00 on Lenny and Rameer Day (June 7th) be the 6-0 Blue Ballers vs the 6-0 Balls Deep. THAT would be a game that would celebrate our fallen heroes. 

• If I’m a D1 team, or maybe a D2 team with D1 aspirations, I’m making a mixtape and sending flowers every week to “Free Agent Except For The Powerpuff Girls” Amber to woo her onto my roster for the fall. It’s very rare a top female in the league casually doesn’t have ties to a team. Could you imagine her on Frodo? That would REALLY make D1 Great Again. 

• It seems The Sentinel isn’t writing every single week anymore. Perhaps they can’t see what’s going on as well from Florida. What a shame. 

Week 4 is here and it’s going to be quite a time. I’m excited to see who comes out of this one unscathed. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 2 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 02 May 2025 12:56

Published: Friday, 02 May 2025 12:56

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1391

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe: We’re Off! The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality began last week, and while you can’t really get a full feel for how the season is going to go in one week, the Week 1 vibes were immaculate. We had 22 games, and 9 of them were one score games. We only had 4 blowouts. In other words, we had some very competitive competitions to start the Spring 2025 season. 

But once again, we can’t read too much into these results. Week 1 is notorious for giving us false narratives. All too often a team that looks like they’re destined to be champs after Week 1 end up 3-5 and lose as a 7 seed in the playoffs. On the flip side, a team that looks like it’s going to be a long, long year for them can put it together and go on a championship run. So, have no fear Show Me Them TDs, you may have lost by 64 in Week 1, but in a few weeks time people could very much be talking about how you’re 5-1 and the hottest thing since Bs Brother’s Christmas Album. 

Week 1 brought us our usual ‘trial version’ of the TSL. Multiple reports suggested that the weather was a little rainy and then a little windy. Not all of the teams were there, as is tradition, because Week 1 tends to have a few more bye requests overall than the other weeks that aren’t holidays. And of course, the teams that did play more than likely had a player or two (or three) that couldn’t make it because they forgot April 26th was the start of the season, despite it being clearly marked in your team’s group text a month in advance. As a result of all of this, Week 2 usually begins to give us a better picture of how things are going to go ‘for real’ during the season. Week 2 gives us a full slate of games, starting with 3 Breakfast Club games at 9:00 and having 5 games from 10am-2am. Unfortunately, it’s looking like you’ll be seeing some more rain at the fields, so be prepared for that. 

Not every battle in the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality will have pristine conditions, so its weeks like this one that tend to really show you what you’re made of. Who’s going to come out on top this week? Let me tell you. 

D1

Last Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits 39, Freeballers 32

Frodo Swaggins 40, What A Dump 30

Eyes Downtown 30, Freeballers 17

The Sticky Bandits kick off the year with a nice win over the Freeballers. Speaking of the Freeballers, they’re 0-2, but they were in both games and word around the text messages I got last weekend from my various informants were that they were even missing some key players, so that’s something to keep an eye out for. Eyes Downtown (Girthy EyeQuakes?) grabbed the other win from the Freeballers in their first game after Bobby had to replace all of the losers on the roster this offseason. Speaking of those losers, they lost to Frodo Swaggins to start off the “What A Dump” era. But, it wasn’t their fault. Garrett and company (especially Katie Swanson, who I got the most texts/emails/telegraphs/smoke signals about this week) were on fire. 

This Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits vs What A Dump (+6) - Sticky gets to take on the WAD to kick off Week 2 in what should be an entertaining game. To be clear, the WAD roster is loaded with top TSL talent who have won a lot of championships over the years and they should be fine as the season progresses. But Sticky has continuity like no other TSL Franchise, and that experience should give them the edge as WAS finds its way. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

Frodo Swaggins vs Freeballers (+7) - There’s a chance that the super secret yet super obvious underlying storyline is that Frodo is ready to take the next step towards playing for a D1 championship this year. Garrett has had an offseason dedicated to clearing out unneeded distractions so he could focus on what matters: taking Frodo to yet another level, and it showed in Week 1. The Freeballers will be game to get that first win, and I wonder if Frodo will get caught looking ahead to the next game? FREEBALLERS BY 4

Legends vs Frodo Swaggins (+7) - They’re back. The D1 champs are done with the silly team names and they’re all business. Probably. The Legends are the favorites until someone shows us why they shouldn’t be. If Frodo truly is ready to ascend a level in D1, here’s the chance to prove it. LEGENDS BY 14

D2

Last Week’s Games:

Can’t Touch This 64, Show Me Your TDs 0*

The Malones 38, Scared Hitless 17

Not a very eventful start to the D2 season, which is Jeremy Burr’s fault for finally being ‘touchable’ after all this time. CTT dominated the brand new squad in SMYTDs, and the asterisk is because it’s rumored that CTT put up over 70 points but the refs didn’t keep writing the scores due to running out of room on the scorecard. The Malones quest to win D2 got off to a good start with a very good win over Scared Hitless, who is always better in Week 9 and 10 than Weeks 1-8. 

This Week’s Games:

The Malones vs Jabronies (+10) - The Jabronies pop into D2 after a mildly shocking D3 title win last season, and they get to play the team that won D3 just before they did in their first game. That’s a nice transition for them, but The Malones already have a win under their belt and “The Rhace That Runs The Place” is apparently the full time QB now instead of the random, trick play QB that gave The Malones a bit of an edge. I wonder how long that lasts if they lose a couple of games, because it’s not like Andy Strug is some slouch. THE MALONES BY 17

Can’t Touch This vs Scared Hitless (+10) - I want to believe that CTT is already in midseason form and that’s why points came so easily for them last week, but it’s going to be truly hard to determine that based off potentially beating a D5/D6 team who’s masquerading (someone tell Tino what this means please) as a D2 team. This will give them a bit more of a litmus test for where they’re at this year. Scared Hitless lost Travis, but they picked up George, who then promptly got hurt playing in a lower division game. It always seems like we talk about who Scared Hitless doesn’t have than who they do have. But, until who they DO have steps up and wins a big game, there’s not a reason to. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 18

Mavericks vs Jabronies (+10) - Champ vs Champ battle! The reigning and defending D2 champions get to take on the D3 champs who moved up, and they get them on the back end of a double header? Even if the “good vibes” Mavericks have some rust on them, I imagine they’ll shake it off in this one. MAVERICKS BY 13

Mavericks vs Show Me Your TDs (+30) - The fun part about the beginning of the season is that you’ll get some wild spreads like this one. SMYTDs lost by a lot last week and now they get the defending champs? It doesn’t seem fair. I did hear that this squad has athletes (as most teams do) on the male side, but there’s apparently a lot of potential in the ladies on this team as well. It’s only Week 2, but the vultures are circling to get these ladies on their rosters if that’s true. Expect some scouts to be standing near this game to watch a bit. MAVERICKS BY 24

D3

Last Week’s Games: 

Wanderers 45, Buffalo Vice 22

Bullet Club 34, Practice Squad 29

D-Generation X, Y, and Z 24, GirthQuakes 23

Wanderers 31, Becca Gets Reccked 27

Becca Gets Reccked 38, 716 33

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. The Wanderers win both Week 1 games in a double header to go to 2-0 after getting by Buffalo Vice and BGR. BGR would end up 1-1 with a win over a returning 716. The Kellers shook off a slow start to beat the GQs, and Bullet Club got past Practice Squad in a close game. D3 continues to be loaded with good games, as all but one was a one score game here. 

This Week’s Games:

Bullet Club vs Passing While Intoxicated (+7) - PWI didn’t have a Week 1 game, so this is their opening game of the season. If PWI wants to consider themselves in the upper echelon of D3, this is a game they need to win. They have the QB for it, and they have female talent as well, but one has to wonder about the males on that team. Do they have a game breaker? Bullet Club played a very good game last week against Practice Squad, but losing one of their top players in George is going to hurt a bit. If anyone has the roster to replace him though, it's BC. BULLET CLUB BY 6

Wanderers vs GirthQuakes (+8) - The GQs were impressive in their D3 debut, taking an early lead against DXYZ before losing by a single point. That’s a good start for the newer-ish team. Things get a little harder this week as they take on the Wanderers, who already seem to be rolling. There’s not much to say about the Wanderers that hasn’t been said a million times before, so I’ll just say ONE thing I’ve said before here. WANDERERS BY 6

Practice Squad vs Buffalo Vice (+3) - A really good match up between two evenly matched teams. Both have talent on both sides of the ball, but Practice Squad has a slight edge at QB. And since PS lost last week, B is going to play with a bit more of an edge. This should be a close one, but if both teams play to their potential, you’re going to see this come down to the last drive. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

Cunning Stunts vs GirthQuakes (+16) - All hail the Queens. The Cunning Stunts are in D3 after winning D4 (finally!) last season, and they’re here to inject themselves immediately into the D3 title picture. The Stunts have some of the best female talent the TSL has to offer, and they have first ballot Hall of Famer Joey Batts slinging the ball for them as well. They’ll be a force right out of the game, and the GirthQuakes will really have their work cut out for them. CUNNING STUNTS BY 18

D-Generation X, Y, and Z vs 716 (+5) - DXYZ got off to a slow start in slightly colder weather last week (blame the Xs and Ys more so than the Zs for that) but now that they’re awake, they figure to be one of the better teams in D3, as usual. 716 lost to BGR last week, but they have a talented roster, it’s just a matter of putting it together on the field (which has usually been the case for this franchise). I’m not saying they won’t be able to, but until I see it, it’s hard to pick them right now. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 10

D4

Last Week’s Games:

Come From Behind 36, Vaspian 16

Puckett 32, Cobblestone 18

ILF 45, Tater Tots 9

Come From Behind shows up in D4, plays a game without league icon Paul LoVullo (who historically “big times” his own team by skipping Week 1 to stay in Florida a little longer), and they walk to an easy win over Vaspian. They’ll be just fine in this division. Puckett put up 32 points over a shorthanded Cobblestone team, who still managed 18 anyway. Imagine if we allowed Darryl to have a full team? He’d win D1 every season. This is to make it fair for everyone else. The Tots got burnt a bit in their return to the TSL, as ILF just poured it on in this one to get to 1-0. 

This Week’s Games: 

Tater Tots vs Vaspian (EVEN) - The two orange teams face off this week with both squads really needing a win after rough Week 1s. While you rarely see “must win” games in Week 2, a poor showing by either team to drop them to 0-2 could potentially derail the season. I think we’ll see a sense of urgency from both sides in this one, and it should be a very good game. TATER TOTS BY 2

Mike’s Detailing vs Puckett (+3) - Puckett got their bye week win over the half rostered Cobblestone last week, so we’re not entirely sure what we’re getting from this iteration of them just yet. But, the fact that they didn’t win by more wasn’t promising. Mike’s Detailing (RIP The Herd) made strides last season and you have to imagine they’ll continue that trend. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 2

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks vs Cobblestone (NO LINE) - Even Vegas can’t make a line for a game that might be played 6 on 4, but we’ll have to see where we end up. I’m not sure what we’ll see from BWIB, but they have a proven winner at QB, which is a big part of the battle in D4. BIRD WATCHING IN BIRKENSTOCKS BY 9

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Come From Behind (EVEN) - Dare I say it, a D4 title game preview? CFB was very impressive in their D4 debut, and now they get to play the best team (on paper) in D4. ILF showed no mercy (Cobra Kai style) as they smashed the Tots last week, and they almost look like they’re on a mission to finally take this D4 title. They’re smart enough to not underestimate CFB in what could be a Game of the Day candidate. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 7

D5

Last Week’s Games:

Sausage McMuffins 23, Jake From State Farm 22

Stir The Sauce 15, Blitzkrieg 12

Powerpuff Girls 51, Mo’ Chicken 8

Not So Sticky 21, Pit Harade 17

Two Tuddies 31, Stir The Sauce 20

D5 got off to a rousing start that saw most games end up as back and forth contests. The McMuffins came up to D5 and snuck out a victory over JFSF, while their D6 counterparts fell just short against STS. STS would fall to 1-1 on the day after getting beaten by the Tud Buds who looked pretty sharp out there to start the year. Mo’ Chicken had the unenviable task of getting the PPGs for their first game ever, and it wasn’t pretty as they got beat up a bit. Not So Sticky pulled out a win over Pit Harade in a close one. 

This Week’s Games:

Stir The Sauce vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - Hopefully the Chickens just got caught by a stud opponent in Week 1, and they’ll rebound accordingly this week. Stir The Sauce (led by super star and top league nice guy Wrestler Dan) snuck out a win over BK last week, and they’ll be looking to go to 2-0 as the new roster gets a bit settled. STIR THE SAUCE BY 12

Not So Sticky vs Sausage McMuffins (EVEN) - Both of these teams are similar with talent, so I think we’ll see a good one here. NSS always plays a good game, so it’ll be on the McMuffins to keep up. Somehow I think the first team to 24 points will win this one. NOT SO STICKY BY 1

Powerpuff Girls vs Pit Harade (+10) - The PPG train keeps on rolling as the ladies get to take on Pit Harade this week. PH seems to no longer have its female QB that would help them get the gender scores needed to keep pace with this freight train that’s coming through. The Girls looked dialed in already last week, look for that to continue. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 14

Two Tuddies vs Jake From State Farm (+7) - The Tuddies looked to be in midseason form last week, which doesn’t bode well for the rest of D5. JFSF lost by a single point last week, so it’ll be interesting to see if they can improve on the good that they did last week. This isn’t the best matchup for them though. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

D6

Last Week’s Games:

Dogg Pound 20, Raw Milkers 7

Balls Deep 36, Sticky Laces 22

Intentional Clowning 19, Irish Giants 6

Blue Ballers 40, Select 6

The Dogg Pound started off 1-0 with a nice opening day win over the Milkers. Hopefully that’s a sign of more good things to come for them. Balls Deep stakes their claim to the D6 throne after wiping the floor with the Sticky Laces a bit to go to 1-0. Intentional Clowning (as I’ve since been told is Day By Day, who used to be Just Joshing) had no real trouble with the Irish Giants to win in Week 1. And lastly, Select had a rough go of things in D6, getting beat up on a bit by the Blue Ballers, who walked away with a 40-6 win. 

This Week’s Games:

Balls Deep vs Select (+12) - If last week was any indication of what’s to come, Balls Deep looked VERY good and Select…did not. All that this really means overall is that I’m going to pick Balls Deep to win this game easily, and then Select will end up winning by 10. BALLS DEEP BY 18

Sticky Laces vs TMA (+6) - The return of TMA! TMA takes the field for the Spring season for the first time this year looking to get back to the old days of winning seasons. I’m sure there’s a few roster tweaks they’ve made to get there, but they’re getting a pretty good Sticky Laces team to start, and the Laces could use a win after last week’s loss to BD. STICKY LACES BY 8

Blue Ballers vs Raw Milkers (+10) - The Raw Milkers struggled big time on offense, even though they only allowed 20 points last week. The Blue Ballers had no trouble scoring points and only allowed 6 points last week. Not exactly the matchup that favors the Milkers. BLUE BALLERS BY 20

Intentional Clowning vs Dogg Pound (+10) - The IC franchise historically wins games, but they don’t score A TON of points often. Their defense is usually pretty good too, assuming this roster is the same as other years. The Dogg Pound consistently improves and they look to keep that up but they need a little bit more of a punch on offense still. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 9

Irish Giants vs Dogg Pound (EVEN) - The Giants weren’t all that impressive in Week 1, while Dogg Pound was, and if they both play the game they played last week, the Giants are going to get DP’d pretty badly. But, Week 1 usually means nothing and I expect the Giants to rebound from that loss for this week. Catching the Dogg Pound on the back end of double header helps too. IRISH GIANTS BY 8

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

• What is this “Breakfast Club” I’m hearing about? For the millions (and millions) of new TSLers who are still figuring things out, Breakfast Club is our often imitated (but never duplicated) draft league where you sign up, get drafted to a team, get a cool TSL shirt, play football at 9am, and then drink mimosas until your regular game begins. We have 6 female captains draft the teams (or apparently, their sons) and it's a GREAT way to get to know more and more people in the league. And of course, it’s fun, and mostly low pressure. 

• I really like this league and I’ve been wanting to get more involved. What can I do? Well, right now it seems like the league needs a few more good refs. You get $30 to ref a game, and if you’ve never reffed before you can ‘shadow’ our more veteran refs so you can get comfortable doing so. The league will always need refs, so even if you just want to do “spot duty” and ref here or there, let Jeff Krol or Garrett know asap! And if you don’t know who they are, just ask around, you’ll eventually find someone that can point you to who they are. 

• Does any team truly “need” a win after last week yet? No, no team really needs a win after a Week 1 loss, but it always helps the team’s mentality. However, we’ve seen teams start off 0-4 before they really click into high gear and they run to a championship with a strong second half of the season. Also there will be teams that start off 4-0 and look like world beaters that end up losing in the first round after going 5-3 on the year. The season isn’t over after one game, even if it feels like it. 

• What are you looking forward to the most this week? Good question. I personally am interested to see how the Frodo - Legends game goes. In a perfect world, Frodo beats the Legends, or at least it's a one score loss for them. Basically, give me any result that shows that Frodo is ready to take the leap to true contender status while the Legends aren’t going to just kill everyone. 

• Where is B’s Brother? Where is Topper? These two things are more than likely related, as it was in Lenny’s Will that if Topper ever had a summer home, he had to take B’s Brother with him. As a result, B’s Brother is probably the official donut tester for Toppers Tim Horton’s/TSL Florida Empire. Both will be back. I think. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

• The weather, again, looks to be “not great” this weekend so remember to bring a change of clothes! If the games are potentially going to be cancelled, you’ll find out asap on Facebook and the Super Kool Telegram App. 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• D’z Nuts 34, Jen-X 30

• Syd On My Face 40, Mel-icious Minx 37

• ReinCARnated 36, Miles On It 33

• Breakfast Club Championship Prediction: Syd On My Face over D’z Nuts in the finals

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Practice Squad vs Buffalo Vice

• 11:00 - The Malones vs Jabronies

• 12:00 - Scared Hitless vs Can’t Touch This

• 1:00 - Come From Behind vs ILF

• 2:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Legends. 

• Remember! If you’re bitter that your team isn’t getting enough publicity here in the article, do what the other teams do and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me why your team is great or terrible. Or ask questions. Whatever you want to do. 

• Heating Up: Frodo Swaggins, Dogg Pound, Wanderers

• Cooling Down: What A Dump, Show Me Your TDs, Sticky Laces

• It was good to have the podcast pop up again on my Spotify feed, if you haven’t listened to it before, you can listen here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4sjy3jFXmiShn5M4AfcuQm?si=WKfuzWAERWuW8iT0LWcU2A

• And if you want to be on the podcast, reach out to any of the TSL leaders, they’ll point you in the correct direction. 

• If you’re going to need subs, you have until 3pm TODAY, FRIDAY, to get your email in. Remember, if you don’t get a response approving your players, they won’t be allowed to play. 

Week 2 is here. Good luck everyone. Except Blase. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 3 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 09 May 2025 18:12

Published: Friday, 09 May 2025 18:12

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1334

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, welcome to Week 3 of the Spring 2025 season. The Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is going strong, and the teams of the TSL are jockeying for position as we’re already a quarter of the way done with the season. While it’s become common knowledge that “it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish” in the TSL, that doesn’t mean the teams off to a hot start shouldn’t get noticed. Sure, today’s 2-0 could be tomorrow’s 2-6, but that’s a future thing to discuss. So what teams are looking good early on in the season? Which teams are looking to hit the reset button and start over? I’ll tell you. 

WHO’S H-O-T-T-O-G-O???

PowerPuff Girls - 2-0, lots of points scored, and looking like a real threat to walk away with D5.

Dogg Pound - Sure they’re 2-1, but they’ve been playing well overall and you can tell they’re much improved from where they were a season ago. 

Legends - Duh. 

Come From Behind - From D5 champs to D4 favorites? CFB has looked every bit at home in D4, so much so that D3 might even be in their future at this rate. 

Jordan Lawson - The QB of the Freeballers/Mavericks might be 2-3 on the season, but he has the defending champion Mavericks right back on top in D2 and his play in D1 has the entire league reconsidering how they view the Freeballers. He’s helped them go from D1 afterthought to “plucky team you have to watch out for”. 

Wanderers - 3-0, rolling through teams during the season like they usually do. 

Balls Deep - 2-0, on top of D6, looking really good. But they’ve done this before, can they sustain this level of success this season? 

Refs who step up to help - the league has needed refs pretty badly this year, but we’ve had people jump in to help, even at the last second. 

Blue Ballers - 2-0, looking like a well oiled machine out there so far. 

The top half of the D2 standings - Mavericks, The Malones, and Can’t Touch This look to be a step above the other teams in this division. 

WHO’S NOT???

The bottom half of the D2 standings - Show Me Your TDs, Scared Hitless, and Jabronies look to be a step behind the other teams in this division. 

Select - only 6 points scored so far this season, looking like there’s a lot more work to be done. 

Cunning Stunts - winless on the season, and holding their first losing record since 2012 or something. 

Weather - two weeks of rain to start the season is never the best. 

Cobblestone - not the best start for Darryl and his crew as they battle to get a full roster to the fields, much less go for a win. 

Vaspian - It’s been a tough go to start the season for our favorite team starting with a ‘V’ so far.

Sticky Laces - Preseason favorites are 0-2 with a lot of things to sort out. 

Renee Lantz - 0-3 to start the season, whispers of Kenny overtaking the “Best Lantz” crown get louder.

NOT GOOD NOT BAD 

Freeballers - 0-3, but competitive as hell. The record doesn’t really dictate how good they’ve looked so far. Mentioned it a little earlier, but they’re two or three plays from a 2-1 record and being the hottest thing to talk about in the league. 

ILF - 1-1, looking less and less like a “slam dunk” champion each week but the talent is there

And there you have it. The rest of the TSL teams are just playing as they normally would and it isn’t surprising. A lot of 1-1 teams exist, and even some 2-0 teams (Two Tuddies, for example) are just doing what’s expected of them. Some good plays here, some mistakes there, and a lot of figuring it all out. 

But again, it’s very early in the season and when the calendar turns to June, we’ll be seeing a few of these teams going from Hot to Not and vice versa. The question, as always, is who will it be? 

D1

Last Week’s Games

Sticky Bandits 27, What A Dump 21

Frodo Swaggins 41, Freeballers 37

Legends 55, Frodo Swaggins 8

The Sticky Bandits move on with a hard fought victory over WAD, leaving the new old team winless on the season. Frodo Swaggins beat the Freeballers in a close game before getting absolutely dominated by the Legends. 

This Week’s Games

Legends vs Sticky Bandits (+8) - It’s weird seeing Sticky as an underdog these days, but here we are. The Legends looked very, very good last week against Frodo, but they’ll face arguably their toughest test of the season against Sticky. A D1 title game preview is on the horizon. LEGENDS BY 3

Legends vs Eyes Downtown (+10) - The Legends have a hell of a back to back this weekend, going from one great team to an old rival very quickly. However, I’m not exactly sure this “rivalry” is quite the same given the new makeup of the ED roster. This one will probably lack the intensity of the last few seasons. LEGENDS BY 13

Frodo Swaggins vs Freeballers (+7) - The Freeballers get a second shot at Frodo a week after losing by 4. Frodo could be looking at a 3-1 record with a win here. Why is that important? Remember that there are two byes for the D1 playoffs, and if we’re already giving one to the Legends, there’s only one to play for. Frodo can’t afford a slip up if they want to be in the mix for the bye. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 3

D2

Last Week’s Games

The Malones 38, Jabronies 7

Can’t Touch This 21, Scared Hitless 0 (Forfeit)

Mavericks 38, Jabronies 26

Mavericks 73, Show Me Your TDs 0

The Malones showed up and showed out in a 31 point win over the Jabronies. The Jabornies would fare slightly better against the Mavs, only losing by 12 to drop to 0-2 on the day. The Mavericks, however, would go to 2-0 on the day after dropping 73 points on SMYTDs. Scared Hitless saw what CTT did in Week 1 and were instantly terrified to play them last week. 

This Week’s Games

Mavericks vs Can’t Touch This (EVEN) - Here we go! A big time D2 game is on this week’s schedule as 2 of the top teams in the division battle it out on the gridiron. Both teams have looked to be in top form and have already scored over 60 points each in a game this season. (Opponents are irrelevant here). This will come down to whoever makes more plays on defense, which has been an issue for both teams at times. I flipped a coin.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 7

The Malones vs Show Me Your TDs (+46) - One of the largest spreads in TSL history, but for good reason. We KNOW The Malones love to score as many points as possible, and now they’re getting the wounded ducks of the division? SMYTDs, I know it’s been rough, and I’m sorry, but it’s going to get bad before it gets better. The schedule makers did you ZERO favors giving you the top 3 teams right off the bat, but you’ll have more of a chance after this week, I promise. Malones? If you’re reading this….go get 100. THE MALONES BY 42

Scared Hitless vs Jabronies (+3) - The Jabronies aren’t having the best time ever as they take on D2, but they’re still a very good team who will end up figuring out the kinks from popping up a division and they’ll be just fine. I think. Scared Hitless continues their usual “Eh, we’ll just cruise through the regular season, seeding doesn’t matter” attitude, but they should take this one provided they show up. SCARED HITLESS BY 8

D3

Last Week’s Games

Passing While Intoxicated 42, Bullet Club 25

Wanderers 50, GirthQuakes 8

Buffalo Vice 38, Practice Squad 37

GirthQuakes 30, Cunning Stunts 28

716 40, D-Generation X, Y, and Z 28

As always, it’s a stupid idea to bet any money on the D3 games where just about anything can happen. Well, except the Wanderers losing, as they walked all over the GQs 50-8. And then the Quakes decided to give us the most shocking result of the young TSL season, beating the Cunning Stunts 30-28. Buffalo Vice and the Squad have a slobberknocker, with Vice squeaking out a victory. PWI moved to 1-0 on the season getting by Bullet Club pretty easily. And 716 ended the day with a win over DXYZ. 

This Week’s Games

D-Generation X, Y, and Z vs Practice Squad (+7) - The Squad getting off to an 0-2 start isn’t surprising, as they’ve written the book on “F the season” and winning D3 after going “O-fer” in the regular season. There’s a few unwritten rules in the TSL and “never counting out Practice Squad” is always on that list. DXYZ took the loss last week, but I can’t imagine that will shake them too badly. This game feels like another close one is on the horizon. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 1

Becca Gets Reccked vs Bullet Club (+8) - A game of some of the longest tenured social co-ed touch football players in the area meet up again. BGR is 1-1, but the loss was against a very good Wanderers team, and it was only by 4 points. Bullet Club is running into some injury issues, and a potentially promising season might be circling the drain already. It’ll be interesting to see how they bounce back this week from the loss against PWI. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 13

716 vs Buffalo Vice (+4) - An interesting matchup that pits two QBs who love to just chuck the ball. In fact, if you told me this game would end up setting the record for most “air yards” a ball is thrown from both teams combined during a game, I’d easily believe that. The athleticism of 716 against the mental prowess of Vice can’t be understated either. This will be a sneaky good game, but one team has Caitlyn Mason, and one team doesn’t. BUFFALO VICE BY 2

Wanderers vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - I’m going to assume last week’s game was a hiccup for the Stunts and until I see more evidence that D3 is going to be “way harder” for them, I’ll keep with the standard that they rock. This is the most interesting game on the schedule this week, hands down. The Super Stunts see if they have what it takes to win D3 as they play the Wanderers, who are in top form on this season already. This would’ve been our Monday Night Football game of the week if we could do that. WANDERERS BY 8

Passing While Intoxicated vs GirthQuakes (EVEN) - Two D3 teams with similar rosters that are quite talented. They have two of the hardest QBs in the league to sack in Buddy Lee and Matt Kieta. They’re just so quick. But Buddy has a bit more experience, which gives PWI the edge. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

D4

Last Week’s Games

Tater Tots 20, Vaspian 6

Puckett 28, Mike’s Detailing 25

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks 56, Cobblestone 8

Come From Behind 34, Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 33

The Tots took on Vaspian and walked out with a nice victory. The Non-All Stars of Puckett took home a close victory over Mike’s Detailing. (Messy car? Go to Mike’s! Tell him you saw his ad in “The Godfather” for a sweet discount!) BWIB made easy work of Cobblestone, winning in a landslide. And finally, Come From Behind had a HUGE win over ILF, claiming dominance over D4. 

This Week’s Games

Bird Watching In Birkenstocks vs Tater Tots (+6) - The Tots are a pretty good team, but as of now, it seems like BWIB could be something special based off that one game they played in D4. In the rain. Against a shorthanded Cobblestone. Okay maybe we can’t base too much off of that. The Tots vibes feel slightly off currently though, so. BIRD WATCHING IN BIRKENSTOCKS BY 8

Come From Behind vs Mike’s Detailing (+7) - Okay, I don’t think Mike is actually going to give you a discount if you mention that you saw his ad in my article. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM CODE TGF20 FOR 20% OFF! Maybe. I’m just showing him (and other businesses!) that you can put your ads in here and grow your business. As for the game, Come From Behind continues to look right at home in D4 as they transitioned VERY well so far to the division. Really liking this outcome for them so far. Mike’s Detailing will always be a “hard out” this season, as they continue to improve and in a couple of weeks they could be one of the best stories in the league. Just not this week. COME FROM BEHIND BY 8

Puckett vs Vaspian (+10) - Puckett keeps on rolling this season while Vaspian is still struggling a bit on offense, and that’s going to be the difference in this game. PUCKETT BY 17

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Cobblestone (+10) - Darryl Carr QB Superstar can only do so much with the bums around him. He’s trying his best, but as we’ve seen in years past, his team fails him. ILF lost a heartbreaker to CFB, but jokes aside this is one of the best teams in D4 and if anything that was a wake up call. ILF BY 19

D5

Last Week’s Games

Mo’ Chicken 38, Stir The Sauce 14

Sausage McMuffins 30, Not So Sticky 24

Powerpuff Girls 51, Pit Harade 20

Two Tuddies 44, Jake From State Farm 26

MO’ CHICKEN BABY!!! Mo gets their first win in history, absolutely dunking on STS and showing the TSL Universe they’re for real! The McMuffins continue to impress in D5, getting past NSS. The Girls laid the smack down on Pit Harade, who finally seem to have a QB in John Langley, which means they’re now cursed. Finally, the Tud Buds just keep doing Tud Bud stuff, winning easily to quietly go to 2-0. 

This Week’s Games:

Blitzkrieg vs Jake From State Farm (EVEN) - Okay, BK lost by 3 points to STS, and now they’re taking on, and I quote “The bad players from STS last year”. The person who said that asked to stay anonymous, but they were wearing yellow. DRAMA! Blitzkrieg can absolutely score points so I’m assuming the 12 points was an anomaly. Look for them to bounce back. BLITZKRIEG BY 12

Sausage McMuffins vs Pit Harade (+10) - The old D6 rivalry is renewed in D5. These teams have played some classic games in the past, and I can’t imagine this would be any different. Alex has the McMuffins playing good football, while PH hasn’t been themselves. I haven’t seen tall guy or fast guy for them yet this season either. Feels like two teams moving in opposite directions. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 12

Not So Sticky vs Stir The Sauce (+6) - STS doesn’t look quite up to par just yet. Averaging 14.5 points per game will do that. They take on Not So Sticky, who can always put up points, right? Well, not always, but they’ve looked okay so far this season. STS might need a little more time to simmer with the roster adjustments made this year. NOT SO STICKY BY 4

Two Tuddies vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - Mo’ Chicken arrived last week! However, beating STS is a little different than going up against an “on fire” Two Tuddies team that seemingly has everything going their way currently. The Tud Buds are just good. Mo comes back down to Earth a little bit this week. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

D6

Last Week’s Games

Balls Deep 20, Select 0

TMA 28, Sticky Laces 8

Blue Ballers 40, Raw Milkers 24

Dogg Pound 19, Intentional Clowning 6

Irish Giants 25, Dogg Pound 6

Balls Deep gets another win and they shut out Select who are struggling currently this season. TMA gets a big win over the Sticky Laces who are not having the start to the season they envisioned. The Blue Ballers are looking a little less “up and down’ than they did as Mighity Drunks, which is good for them and bad for D6. The Dogg Pound got to 2-0 with a win over IC, but then they fell to the Irish Giants who got their first win 25-6. 

This Week’s Games: 

Balls Deep vs Irish Giants (+6) - Balls Deep has been good so far, but there’s a chance the schedule did them some favors so far. A win over the Sticky Laces is impressive, but not if the Laces are starting out the “season from hell”. And beating Select might not seem like an achievement by June. The Irish Giants had a slow start but really ramped it up last week, and I think that’s the Giants we’ll be seeing the rest of the year. IRISH GIANTS BY 2

Blue Ballers vs Intentional Clowning (+7) - The Blue Ballers have been a nice early season surprise, and they’ll get to face off against an Intentional Clowning team that seems to struggle on offense quite a bit in the early going of the season. Of course, I expect that to change, but I don’t think this is the team that it changes against. BLUE BALLERS BY 8

TMA vs Raw Milkers (+3) - Ah yes, we’re back to the good ol’ days where TMA is favored to win. TMA got a win last week over the Sticky Laces, but it’s a little bit different of a squad yet again. Word is Ron Webber has retired too? Is this real? I sure hope not. Anyway, the Milkers are 0-2 but showed improvement last week and will continue to get better. But right now let’s take the veteran laden team. TMA BY 3

Sticky Laces vs Select (+10) - The TSL’s “Loser Leaves Town” match as these two 0-2 D6 teams will scratch and claw to avoid an 0-3 start. Select lost some fire power and dropped to D6, which was clearly the right call as the team learns to play together. They have enough “know how” to eventually be okay. The Laces are flabbergasted that they’re here, but they got a “get right” game right when they needed it most. STICKY LACES BY 17

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

• Who has been the most surprising team so far this season? The Sticky Laces being 0-2 is certainly surprising and unexpected, but the answer is the Freeballers. It isn’t surprising that they’re 0-3, no, but it’s how well they’ve been playing. They seem to have “leveled up” in the offseason. 

• The TSL Powers That Be moved the Woodpeckers out of D6 when it became clear they were going to destroy everyone early on, why can’t you do the reverse for Show Me Your TDs? There’s a few problems with that and it mostly has to do with scheduling. Currently, SMYTDs would need to drop to what? D5? And that means you’d have to change the D5 schedule completely. Not to mention that D2 would be down one less team. Plus, one team destroying an entire division makes it not fun for 7-8 other teams, whereas one team getting destroyed (despite warnings of it potentially happening) is kind of on them. 

• Okay, I know that lots of teams are blaming poor performances on the rain, but how much does it REALLY affect the games? Both teams have to play in it! I agree that it does affect both teams, but realistically there were teams out there that maybe should’ve won games they lost in the last two weeks. Multiple reports came in of great plays being thwarted by a usually caught ball slipping through a receiver’s hands, or a normally made “easy” throw ending up in the dirt because the QB lost grip. And of course everyone was slipping here and there. You can’t completely discount what happened, but there are definitely some teams that currently look a lot worse than they really are because of it. 

• I’ve heard that we’re in need of refs, how can I help? I’m glad you asked! Please reach out to Garrett, Jeff Krol, or anyone who looks important if you’d like to help out. Hell, just ask your own ref during your game who you should go talk to! The league survives on people like you helping out! 

• Why do the Power Rankings Committee, who are made up of multiple people who are at the fields every week, get to phone in the first few articles of the season when you, a single person who lives in Iowa and doesn’t even get to see the games, are expected to continue writing top notch articles every single week? I can’t speak for why the Committee sits around half assing things for a week, but I know the people out there are noticing and disagreeing with the rankings they put out early on. However, all publicity is good publicity. So as long as you’re talking about them, mission accomplished. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS ABOUT SATURDAY

• Here’s what’s most important. 66 degrees. Sunny. No more excuses. Wear your sunscreen. 

• I enjoyed hearing Kyle Messina and his mom Tammy on the podcast this week. I think its a really cool story how they play together on Sticky Laces. We need more feel good stories like that in the league. 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Mavericks

• 11:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits

• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Becca Gets Reccked

• 1:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Wanderers

• 2:00 - Freeballers vs Frodo Swaggins

• Pretty crazy that Breakfast Club made it’s glorious return and for perhaps the first time in history, TWO BC teams were shut out in the same morning. 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• D’s Nutz 38, Syd On My Face 27

• Melicious Minx 27, Miles On It 24

• ReinCARNated 34, Jen-X 20

• Please do your best to not block anyone in when you’re parking. It should be common sense, yet we find people struggling to do the right thing every week so far. 

• Remember, if you left something behind at the fields, there’s a chance it’s hanging out at the Lost and Found! Ask the bar to take a look through it so you can find what’s yours!

• What’s that? You want MORE publicity for your squad? Be like the others and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ! 

• June 7th is Lenny and Rameer Day! Clear your schedule! (I know its EA Music Fest too!)

• I think it’s also surprising how D2 is so clearly divided in half. I hope Scared Hitless and the Jabronies figure things out sooner rather than later. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 1 THOUGHTS, PICKS AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 25 April 2025 17:52

Published: Friday, 25 April 2025 17:52

Written by Jeff Krol

Hits: 1336

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, I come bearing fantastic news! In less than 24 hours, we will once again ascend upon the hallowed grounds of the Leonard Alba Fields at the Rose Garden sponsored by Topper’s Tim Horton’s Empire for the beginning of the greatest Social Co-Ed sports experience the world could ever produce: The Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality! 

That’s right! The TSL’s #Spring2025 Season is finally underway! What does that mean? Well for one, it means that the largest, 10 week long family reunion will begin. It means fun, it means friendship, it means rolling your eyes at the referee for a call you don’t agree with but you don’t want to yell at B because you like him, it means meeting new people to the league and discovering what new characters await us, it means doing a few more shots at the bar than you planned on and suddenly it’s 4 hours later than you wanted to stay, it means scrambling on a Friday for girls to play for your team knowing it’ll end up being Steph anyway, it means scrambling on Friday for a QB after yours just bailed on you and realizing you’ll have to settle for John Langley, it means bothering Jeff Krol about the dumbest stuff (and if you’ve been here longer than 5 seasons, you’ll get to tell him about how “Topper/Lenny/Rameer wouldn’t have let it happen”), it means new romances will start anew whether for a night, a week, or for a while, it means “oh wow that new girl in D5/D6 is really, really good” and the vultures will begin to circle by Week 3 in an effort to get her to jump ship from her friends and family to play in D1 (3-1 odds it’s Bobby McConnell first), it means laughter, it means hugs, it means…everything. 

It’s been said many times, but I’ll repeat it for the new people who are just discovering that this place is so much more than a touch football league: the TSL is an experience that can change your life, if you let it. Yes, you can easily play your game and then go home. That’s frowned upon, but understood. However, if you let the league work its magic on you, and you stick around before/after your games, you’ll soon find what every TSLer before you has at some point: what you get out of the TSL is what you put into it. If you hang out at the fields or the bar after the games, and strike up a random conversation with some people, before you know it you’ll be yearning for Saturdays. You’ll be listening to the podcast each week, you’ll be awaiting each article (such as this masterpiece you’re feasting your eyes upon right now!) to be posted, and you’ll find yourself making new friends, and quickly. Chances are you’ll get sunburned too. But it’ll be worth it when you’re randomly on a limo bus for someone’s birthday on Week 7. Single? You could very easily find Mr. or Mrs. Right (or Mr. or Mrs. Right Now) amongst the crowd. The TSL has produced many, many couples who have fallen deep in love and gotten married and had babies. Don’t believe me? The TSL Draft Class of 2040 looks STACKED already.  It’s also produced many, many couples who have fallen off and caused a fun amount of spicy drama that helps the league run. 

The people who have been in this league for a while look forward to this day every year. They plan their life schedules around game times, and have more often than not told the people outside of the football family (the ones that just “don’t get it”) “No, sorry Julie, I can’t come to your (insert cat’s birthday/grandmother’s funeral/julie’s wedding here) on that day, I have football.” and then to ease the blow you’ll add the ever popular “but I’ll make an appearance after my game ends!”. 

Fun fact: You’ll never make the appearance. 

No, you’ll find yourself planning your family vacations in July/August in between seasons, but you’ll have to find out what day the Summer Wine Tournament is first so you don’t miss that. You’ll find yourself wanting to play in Breakfast Club to meet more people and have more fun (and then regret it if you’re not a morning person). You’ll consider refereeing and helping out the league, especially since you can make $30 to hang out at the fields like you were going to do anyway. You’ll find yourself looking online for new cleats, or receiver gloves, or start designing some sort of T-shirt for your team to wear as a jersey. You’ll find yourself being decently mad when you actually have to miss a game, having extreme FOMO that distracts you from whatever else you’re doing. Basically, you’ll just find yourself All In, and that’s okay. Some may call it a cult, and maybe they’re right. I’m not an expert on cults, but I could see the similarities. 

To the returning TSLers, welcome back. I know you know what I’m talking about above and you’re just nodding your heads along as you read. For the new people who are reading this, welcome home. I’m The Godfather, a former TSLer who played in the league when it first began who had to move away to Des Moines, Iowa for work. I have a really cool log cabin that I reside in. And I still write about my favorite league from back home because, well, I always figured that if I can’t play in the league, I may as well be a part of it somehow. That, and I lost a bet to Lenny a long time ago that I had to do this for life. And I can’t back out of that bet now. 

“But Godfather, aren’t you supposed to talk about the games and stuff? I heard that’s the best part!”. You’re right. That’s what’s most important now. There’s a brand new season upon us, there’s a brand new race for Social Co-Ed Immortality, and there’s a lot of new faces who are going to dictate who wins this installment of the Greatest Show On Kind Of Level Grass. 

Here’s how this is going to work. I’ll go into each division, starting at the top. You’re going to see the current Vegas odds for those teams to win the championship. I’ll write a little ditty about the teams, make a perfect prediction that will no doubt be accurate and ruin the mystery of the season, and then we’ll get into this week’s games. And here. We. Go. 

D1: 

Championship Odds

Legends 2-1

Sticky Bandits 4-1

Eyes Downtown 6-1

What A Dump 6-1

Frodo Swaggins 10-1

Freeballers 11-1

The TSL’s marquee division has a whopping SIX teams this time around, and I remember when that used to actually be sarcasm when I’d say it. Now, it’s nice to see more teams stepping up, and perhaps smelling blood. I want to be clear, I think that when the smoke clears on June 28th, no matter who is left standing, I don’t think it’ll be that much of a surprise. Yes, even if it’s YOU, Freeballers. The D1 teams are all very talented, but they’re starting to feel closer in talent from top to bottom than ever. Of course, the Legends still stand out, but they’re getting old. Let’s not forget that last season we saw an aging Joey Batts benched for the championship game because the rest of the team deemed him a liability. The Sticky Bandits are always a cohesive, hyper talented bunch, but despite getting favoritism from the refs because Jeff Krol signs their paychecks, they’ve found a way to fall short more times than not. Eyes Downtown isn’t even Eyes Downtown anymore. Arguably, What A Dump is more “Eyes Downtown-y” than Eyes Downtown is. It’s true, in a classic heel (face?) turn, most of ED turned on Bobby McConnell and left to go play with themselves. Yes, I hear how that sounds and no, I’m not changing it. Bobby scrambled to make a new roster for this season, and with a bunch of new faces, I’m only assuming this team has been doing three-a-days since March. Meanwhile, WAD looks very formidable on paper, even with Ben Stack on the roster. Frodo continues to stay in D1 despite mixed results since moving up, but the team soldiers on. And according to the rosters, it seems as though Garrett has dusted off the old carcass of former TSL Superstar Shari, which if she’s going to play weekly, AND if time treated her kindly, could be a difference maker. The Freeballers roll in with Jordan Lawson at QB and while they have talent, putting it together has always been an issue. I expect this team to compete and give headaches to other squads along the way. 

Prediction: Legends beat What A Dump in the finals. 

This Week’s Games:

Sticky Bandits vs Freeballers (+10) - The Bandits come roaring into the season looking to take care of business and get started on the right foot. The Freeballers look to show they belong. STICKY BANDITS BY 13

What A Dump vs Frodo Swaggins (+3) - On paper, WAD should take this one easily, but there should be some growing pains for this team to start. Even if they have rapport with each other, there’s still rough edges to smooth out. Frodo knows each other and that will give them the advantage. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 8

Eyes Downtown vs Freeballers (+3) - Eyes Downtown will have the “rest advantage” going into this one as the Freeballers are playing their second game. Assuming the Freeballers learned from their first game, they may get the early jump in this one. FREEBALLERS BY 7

D2

Championship Odds

Mavericks 4-1

The Malones 4-1

Can’t Touch This 4-1

Jabronies 6-1

Scared Hitless 7-1

Show Me Your TD’s 100-1

D2 continues to be one of the TSL’s most even divisions, even if the teams change a little bit each season. The Mavericks didn’t make the jump to D1 after winning the title, but D2 is better off for it. They come into the season as the defending champs, but that doesn’t matter anymore. The Malones have been waiting all winter to get back on the field to claim the D2 title that they feel they lost more than the Mavs won last year. Can’t Touch This, no longer distracted by wedding bells, can refocus properly to win the D2 title themselves. They’re right there too. The Jabronies play smart football, and they’re very capable of winning games in D2 after taking the D3 title last season. Scared Hitless returns as D2’s very “tough out” who also leaves wins on the field in the regular season before stepping up in a big way in the playoffs. Show Me Your TD’s is a new team who, as we’ve seen many times in the past in the TSL, might be starting up in a higher division than they should be. Hopefully this isn’t a “The Replacements” scenario from a few seasons ago where the new team got beat up on so badly they got relegated to D8 and haven’t been seen since. But hey, maybe there’s some superstars who are going to rock it and they’ll win the title out of nowhere. However, teams with generic team names always tend to struggle. Look it up. 

Prediction: The Malones beat Mavericks in the final, getting revenge.

This Week’s Games:

Can’t Touch This vs Show Me Your TD’s (+13) - I don’t want SMYTDs to get discouraged, they’re just an unknown entity in the league and if there’s one thing you have to do in this league, it’s prove it. CTT gives them their first chance to do so. The problem is this: Ryan Dougherty. The TSL’s perfect example of a QB (tall, handsome, strong arm, multiple ACL injuries) can launch the ball into space, and historically CTT plays VERY well early in seasons and in the spring. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 20

The Malones vs Scared Hitless (+8) - I really think we’re going to see The Malones in midseason form. They always tend to be better when they’re the losers with something to prove, as nobody plays better with a chip on their shoulder. That, combined with SH’s penchant for regular season “meh-ness” makes this easy. THE MALONES BY 10

D3:

Championship Odds

Wanderers 3-1

Cunning Stunts 4-1

Degeneration X, Y, and Z 6-1

Becca Gets Reccked 7-1

Practice Squad 8-1

Bullet Club 10-1

Buffalo Vice 12-1

716 12-1

Passing While Intoxicated 15-1

GirthQuakes 15-1

New year, same D3. Sort of anyway. The TSL’s most competitive division top to bottom runs it back with a lot of the same familiar faces. The Wanderers come into the season as the slight championship favorites, as they tend to do. They’re joined up there by the usual suspects: the Keller clan (this time DXYZ), Someone getting Reccked, Practice Squad and Bullet Club too. However, the D4 champion Cunning Stunts are right there in the mix as the extremely talented gender team has moved up a division to wreak havoc on some new teams (and Buffalo Vice again). 716 returns with a couple of Ridgeways and Derek Pew throwing, but if he falters it looks like Terrell Bolden is there to take over (or maybe start outright?). PWI looks to build on last season’s “decent but not great” D3 debut and the GirthQuakes just decided to jump up a division for some reason, so that should be very interesting, especially after Bobby did to them what WAD did to him in D1. Always a villain, that one. 

Prediction: Wanderers beat the Cunning Stunts in a barnburner.

This Week’s Games

Wanderers vs Buffalo Vice (+6) - Don’t sleep on Buffalo Vice. They’ve been very competitive in most of their D3 games so far, and they seem to have adjusted very well to the move up. However, the Wanderers have the pedigree and the continuity teams dream of. They have to think this is their year. Is this the longest they’ve gone without a championship? (AFL titles count now, the NFL said so. Not sure if we should follow suit.). WANDERERS BY 10

Practice Squad vs Bullet Club (EVEN) - The one thing that happens when divisions and teams don’t change too often are the fun “rivalry” games that start to appear each season. While I don’t think these teams are ‘rivals’ in the way that they don’t like each other, it seems that they always play close, entertaining games. I don’t think this should be any different. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2

D-generation X, Y, and Z vs GirthQuakes (+10) - I can already tell that I won’t like typing out DXYZ’s full name all season. The Kellers all seem to be here this season: Scott Keller Sr., Katie Keller, Scott Keller Jr., Kevin Keller?, Stegs Keller, Nicole Keller, Val Bernal-Cleavenger-Keller, Damien Keller, and there's a McGregor Keller in there too. They’re always good, they’re always fun, and they’re going to be in the mix all season. The GQs jumped up and they switched the roster a bit due to some nefarious tactics by a former player, so I have no idea what they’re going to be. I guess we’ll find out. D-GENERATION X, Y, AND Z BY 16

Wanderers vs Becca Gets Reccked (+7) - The Wanderers start off with a customary Week 1 doubleheader, and they get to take on BGR, who are the world champions of “I bet this team will be in finals” but then they end up 3-6, only to pull a first round upset, and then get beaten before the finals. But, this game will be a classic, as they tend to be. BECCA GETS RECCKED BY 4

Becca Gets Reccked vs 716 (+7) - 716 returns to D3 again, but it tends to go poorly for them. Will this season be any different? I’m not entirely sure. They have the talent, for sure. Donte Ridgeway is one of the TSL’s most underrated players. They’ll be hungry, and BGR is due to be .500 anyway. 716 BY 3

D4

Championship Odds

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 2-1

Puckett 4-1

Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks 4-1

Tater Tots 6-1

Come From Behind 6-1

Mike’s Detailing 8-1

Vaspian 10-1

Cobblestone 30-1

D4 has the potential to be simply electric this season based not just on the teams involved here, but on the team that isn’t here anymore. After years of being put into a corner by the Stunts, they’ve moved on, so the division is wide open, Becca style. (Am I doing the Becca jokes correctly, Andrew?). ILF comes in as the favorites, despite their ability to choke in that scenario. Puckett is back in D4, but apparently they don’t have any of their former All-Stars, and they’ve rebranded to just “Puckett”. Okay. We know they’re good, and they’re at home in D4. And if you want a fun little wrinkle? Mike Hull was cut by ILF who nearly instantly signed with Puckett. I smell a budding rivalry! Anyway, I’ll say it again, prepare for them to be the 7 seed that makes the title game. BWIMB is another team name I very much hate, and they’re a version of Grey Hair Don’t Care, just modified to be a D4 team that should be competitive. THE TOTS ARE BACK BABY! And they once again have B throwing for them, which means they’re going to be right there at the end. Come From Behind moves up to D4 after an eternity in D5 (seriously, they were in D5 before the Big Bang) and I have no doubts in my head that they’ll be able to rock and roll with the best of D4. Mike’s Detailing is “The Herd”, but they’re making Mike sponsor them so they don’t have to pay team fees, I assume. So go get detailed by Mike! (The Godfather may or may not be a paid endorser of Mike’s Detailing.) Herd Detailing was pretty damn good last season, and I expect them to take another step forward this year. Vaspian is back, which is whatever. BRIAN IS BACK AT QB AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS! After a small sabbatical, the first ballot Vaspian Hall of Famer has returned, which always makes Vaspian more of a threat. Darryl Carr QB Superstar is back to chase that elusive championship and put D4 on notice with his golden arm and glorious hair. As long as the rest of his team doesn’t let him down anyway. 

Prediction: Puckett beats the Tater Tots in the finals

This Week’s Games

Come From Behind vs Vaspian (+6) - The schedule makers made CFB’s life easy by giving them a perfect “first D4 opponent”. Not to say that Vaspian is the “Glass Joe” of D4, but I think it’s fair to say they aren’t the most difficult first draw. Brian’s return is fantastic, but I worry about Week 1 rust. CFB has done the same thing for 3,205 years so I’m not worried about that nearly as much as I am about Paul being in Florida or something. Assuming he isn’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 12

Puckett vs Cobblestone (+10) - The only issue with this game is that I’m not entirely sure who’s playing for Cobblestone yet, so I can’t accurately predict how well they’ll be doing. However, I know about Puckett a bit, so this isn’t too hard. PUCKETT BY 15

ILF vs Tater Tots (+6) - This is a very good “welcome back to the TSL” game here. Maybe even the Game of the Day, honestly. The Tots showed how good they can be with B, and we know that ILF is very good too. Expect a close one. TATER TOTS BY 1

D5

Championship Odds

Not So Sticky 4-1

PowerPuff Girls 4-1

Two Tuddies 4-1

Blitzkrieg 6-1

Sausage McMuffins 6-1

Pit Harade 8-1

Stir The Sauce 8-1

Jake From State Farm 10-1

Mo’ Chicken 15-1

D5 is looking like a three way dance between NSS, PPG, and the Tud Buds. All of these teams are back, with only slight adjustments on the rosters from what I can tell. And added to the mix are not only D6 champs Blitzkrieg, but the Sausage McMuffins have moved up as well, making D5 a bit more talented for sure. They join past D6 rival Pit Harade who looks to have a few roster changes, most notably an absence of Rayanna at QB, but adding John Langley apparently. Slight downgrade for sure. Stir The Sauce is back, sort of. I guess there was some sort of split in the offseason, and half of the team left to become Jake From State Farm. It’ll be interesting to see how badly it affects both sides. Mo’ Chicken is a new team that stems from some Dogg Pound roots, so we’ll need to see more from them to really know what, or who, they are. 

Prediction: Blitzkrieg beats Not So Sticky in the finals. (Old habits die hard, sorry BK)

This Week’s Games:

Sausage McMuffins vs Jake From State Farm (EVEN) - It’s hard to really choose a winner, but of course I still will. Alex always has the McMuffins ready for battle, and they play the right brand of smart football that wins games. That should translate to D5 easily. JFSF is a complete unknown, but they’re not the ‘half’ of Stir The Sauce that has Wrestler Dan. That’s all I needed to know. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 1

Stir The Sauce vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) - Same idea as the previous game. Top D6 team that is talented and plays the game the right way going against a team that just split down the middle. I think Blitzkreig should’ve been in D5 a long time ago, so I think they’ll be A-OK here. BLITZKRIEG BY 4

Powerpuff Girls vs Mo’ Chicken (+10) - The Girls are back, and they’re very good. Mo’ Chicken gets to end up having their first game against a good gender team. It’s just simply not ideal. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 14

Not So Sticky vs Pit Harade (+10) - NSS has the right roster for this division to win the title. They’re going to be a favorite for sure. A Jeff Krol vs Joe K matchup to kick off the season just feels right as well. Did Topper make the schedule? I think we’ll see a close game early on with NSS pulling away later. NOT SO STICKY BY 14

Two Tuddies vs Stir The Sauce (+3) - The Tud Buds gets STS on the backend of a double header and they’ll be looking to start the season off the right way. The Tuddies still feel a bit overlooked in this division, but this game should change that right away. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

D6

Irish Giants 4-1

Balls Deep 4-1

Sticky Laces 4-1

Select 6-1

TMA 8-1

Blue Ballers 10-1

Dogg Pound 12-1

Raw Milkers 15-1

Intentional Clowning 15-1

Ah yes, D6. Our final division gives us a very nice mix of veteran TSL teams and some brand new ones as well! The Irish Giants have been around Social Co-Ed Football circles for quite some time, and they serve as a “GUCCI-lite” currently. They join both Balls Deep and Sticky Laces at the top of the favorites for the title, but that could change. Select and TMA represent veteran squads that know exactly what they need to do to win in this league. The Blue Ballers are just a more sober version of the ‘Mightey’ Drunks, and they’ve shown in the past that they can do some damage as well. Dogg Pound had a tough start in the beginning of their existence but they’ve shown steady improvement game by game, and are a dark horse candidate for a break out season. As for the Raw Milkers and Intentional Clowning? No idea. Brand new teams with some brand new people make them complete wild cards, which we love. 

Prediction: Sticky Laces over the Irish Giants on Championship Saturday. 

This Week’s Games:

Dogg Pound vs Raw Milkers (+7) - The DPs get a brand new squad to kick off the season, which could bode well for them to start off right. We’ll have to see what the Milkers bring to the table, but for now, we’ll go with the known team. DOGG POUND BY 6

Sticky Laces vs Balls Deep (+3) - D6’s entrant into the potential Game Of The Day, two top teams battle it out for what could be an important tie breaker in June. Both have shown growth of the last few years, but I think the Laces have done a little bit more growing. STICKY LACES BY 7

Irish Giants vs Intentional Clowning (+10) - Two brand new TSL teams this season square off, but we already know the Giants can play. Feels like a mismatch out of the gate. IRISH GIANTS BY 12

Blue Ballers vs Select (EVEN) - A battle between two teams that switched up their rosters a little bit. We know how well these teams have played in the past, but will that transfer over to this season? We’re going to find out. SELECT BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

• What team should be playing in a higher division? Other than the champions that didn’t move up you mean? (I know The Malones would’ve moved up). We actually have a lot of the usual answers here moving up a division, so this is harder than I’d like it to be. Is the answer the Wanderers? Consistent winners year in and year out, despite not winning lots of titles. 

• What team would the TSL Universe be most happy for if they won a championship this season? TMA winning D6 came instantly to mind. I know they’ve done it before but that was forever ago and they’ve lost so many great players along the way, they’re not the same. A bonus answer: The Kellers. 

• Which player has the most stress on them this season? Bobby McConnell. I know that sounds weird since he’s a third ballot hall of famer, and just won D1 not too long ago, but he had his team walk out on him, so he’s out to prove that he didn’t need them in the first place. 

• Who will be the best team at the bar this season? I don’t have an answer, because I think a new team will emerge and take the crown. But which one?

• Which divisions are closest in talent and which have the widest talent gap? A sneaky two part question here. The closest in talent where anyone can win would’ve been D2, but SMTTDS might be overmatched. If they can hold their own? Then okay. I think the answer is D4, especially if Darryl cobbles together a good roster. As for the talent gap, I think there’s a clear line of haves and have nots in D6 right now. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

1. Buffalo was 80 degrees on Thursday. Of course it’ll be 53 degrees and rainy Saturday. 
2. Three teams with the potential to surprise their division: Select, Freeballers, Stir The Sauce
3. LENNY AND RAMEER DAY, OUR TSL NATIONAL HOLIDAY, IS JUNE 7TH. PLAN ACCORDINGLY TO CELEBRATE.
4. Breakfast Club is featuring a lot of new players, which usually means it’ll become must watch TV.
5. Is this it for Joey Batts?
6. Make sure everyone signs a waiver!!
7. If you’d like to get your team featured in this article more, I need info on your games and who your team is! Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. asap. 
8. Don’t forget, the TSL Podcast will record weekly, and if you want to be a guest, tell Jeff Krol, Dorene, or Joe K right away!
9. Yes, Topper is a bum and is in Florida so we won’t see him for a bit. It isn’t your fault. I promise.
10. The team with the worst odds to realistically win the title? 716. 

And there you have it folks! The start of the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality is less than 24 hours away. History will be made. Which side of it will you end up on?

-GF OUT