• Print
• Email

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the time has come. The teams have made it to the final stretch as the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality nears the finish line. Every season of the TSL is its own story, with its own twists and turns, and after the smoke cleared from Playoff Saturday last weekend, 26 of the TSL’s 54 teams remain as they vie for the official title of “Best In The World” in the form of 7 championships (6 Divisions, 1 Breakfast Club). 

Playoff Saturday was an absolute doozy, and it gave us a little bit of everything. We saw one team get their first non-forfeit win (Freeballers) that eased the pain of a rough regular season. We saw a thrilling overtime game that saw the Irish Giants continue their current hot streak, taking out the Raw Milkers in the process. We had shutouts (Two Tuddies 43-0 win over Mo’ Chicken), blowouts (Powerpuff Girls winning 52-12 over Pit Harade), and 1 point victories (Not So Sticky 21-20 over Jake From State Farm)....and that was just in D5! We had teams that usually blow it early on in the playoffs quell those demons (Balls Deep winning 44-16 over Select) and teams that we’re used to seeing play on Championship Saturday go home early (Cunning Stunts, 39-37 losers to Bullet Club). 

 

We had lower seeded teams win 7 of the 20 games played, with #5, #6, #9, and #10 seeds getting victories. All of the #1 and #2 seeds survived, although TMA and Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks had to work hard to stay alive. Now you’re thinking to yourself “Wait, BWB played Cobblestone, how on Earth did they have to work hard to survive?”. That’s because in one of the biggest surprises of Playoff Saturday, Cobblestone showed up. They only had 5 people, but they nearly pulled off the upset anyway, only losing 44-37. There’s still some absolute magic in the arm of Darryl Carr, QB Superstar. He’s basically a young Paul LoVullo, who also had to remind the young upstarts of Mike’s Detailing just who is the boss, and sent the D4 contenders home with quite the lesson, a 38-6 loss that will sting them throughout the offseason. 

 

The point is that, as usual, the Spring 2025 TSL Playoffs have already given us so much excitement, and there’s a whole second act coming this Saturday, June 28th, in the Year of Our Lord 2025 that can only give us even MORE ridiculous fun and excitement. 

 

The question becomes, exactly WHO will walk off the Leonard T. Alba III Fields At The Rose Garden as world champions? WHO will achieve immortality? That’s what I’m here to tell you. And as always, I’ve brought along some help for the Championship Saturday article. I’ve never found it to be fair that the TSLQBPRC is a group of multiple people, yet they do nearly nothing for the playoffs while I continue to put in the work from my log cabin here in Des Moines. Hell, those bozos don’t even do much work during the season, they’re essentially a “Sentinel Lite” for the first 4 weeks or so while they all “collect and discuss the data”. Remember when they’d at least give you the best female in the league rankings too? 

 

Either way, I’m sure their contracts are just like mine and run through the entire season (I have enough B’s Brother signed albums to last a lifetime as a bonus) so I’ve messaged them again and told them to send a committee member or two to help me with some predictions. Just remember, if their predictions aren’t the same as mine, they’re probably wrong. 

GF: Hello various committee members! (I never know how many of you I’m talking to, it’s pretty annoying that you’re shrouded in mystery and nobody knows who you are, who does that?). You know the drill by this time. Are you ready to do this? 

TSLQBPRC: “Sentinel Lite”???  We have put out an article for 96 consecutive weeks of football now.  No, it’s not the 745 or so that the Godfather has done, but we deserve better than “Sentinel Lite!”  And do you remember how pissed off people used to get about the Female Rankings?  We should bring them back just for that…

 

Oh, but to answer your question, yes, we’re ready to do this!

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

#6 Freeballers 36, #3 Frodo Swaggins 22

#4 Sticky Bandits 32, #5 What A Dump 22

 

GF: What a week that saw the Freeballers get that first win, and it HAD to have felt good. They’ve worked hard all year and have come oh so close a few times, it was nice to see them get this feel good win before they get yeeted by the Legends. Oh, and Sticky won too, which is less fun and surprising. 

 

TSLQBPRC: We had this idea going into the first round that Frodo was a lock, and Sticky/What a Dump was more of a coin flip.  We were half right (What a Dump was close!) but we did NOT expect Freeballers to be ballin’ free on Championship Saturday.  Hats off to them.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 LEGENDS (7-1) VS #6 FREEBALLERS (1-7)

 

PF: Legends 42.00 (1st) - FB 25.71 (6th)
PA: Legends 20.50 (1st)  - FB 38.86 (6th)

TSL Rank: Legends 3rd  - FB 50th

Past Games: Legends 41-16

Line: Legends (-17)

 

GF: The Freeballers come across as the feel good story after Playoff Saturday, but very rarely does Cinderella not turn back into a pumpkin a week later in D1. The Legends are focused on the championship, and this is historically when they turn it up a notch. There’s still a chip on Joey Batts’ shoulder from not getting to play in the title game last fall, and now that he doesn’t have a Stunts title chase this week as well for him to get injured in, expect him to knock this one out of the park. LEGENDS BY 24

 

TSLQBPRC: It was hard to imagine Freeballers getting past Frodo last week, and they did it.  Football is an unpredictable game at times, and anything can happen, in theory.  But no, Freeballers beating Legends is just about IMPOSSIBLE to imagine in the Spring of 2025.  LEGENDS BY 21

#2 EYES DOWNTOWN (7-1) VS #4 STICKY BANDITS (4-4)

 

PF: ED 36.63 (2nd) - SB 27.88 (4th)

PA: ED 26.50 (2nd) - SB 29.50 (3rd)

TSL Rank: ED 4th - SB 25th

Past Games: ED 31-23, ED 48-24

Line: Eyes Downtown (-7)

TSLQBPRC: Eyes Downtown have beaten the Sticky Bandits twice this season.  The Sticky Bandits have beaten Eyes Downtown in each of the past two seasons’ playoffs.  Which one is more likely to get in the head of the opposing team?  Our guess is we’ll see a close game, with the Sticky Bandits pulling off a last-drive miracle to set up a third consecutive Legends vs Sticky Bandits Finals.  STICKY BANDITS BY 1

GF: The Sticky Bandits come into this game looking a little more like themselves after last week’s victory over a very game What A Dump team. Even still, there hasn’t been something quite right with them this season, but I just can’t put my finger on what exactly. Eyes Downtown took a week off (although I’m sure they’ve been doing Bobby’s two a days in the sweltering heat leading up to this week) after earning the bye but rust shouldn’t be an issue for them whatsoever. They’ve been a well oiled machine all year and have somehow turned into fan favorite underdogs, which if you had time traveled back to the TSL in 2019 and told everyone that’s what would happen, you’d have been laughed out of the Rose Garden before Beth put an elbow into your ribs. The Legends vs Eyes Downtown rubber match needs to happen. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3

THE D1 FINALS PREDICTIONS:

 

GF: Legends vs Eyes Downtown, just how we drew it up. I’m a little surprised that we got here, given the much talked about turnover on the ED roster, but life finds a way I guess. This is the best case scenario in terms of story lines and excitement and I’m here for it. The Legends won by 5 during the season, and the next week ED won by 2. The game will be close, and it will get chippy. But in the end, we’ll see a familiar sight: the Legends celebrating. LEGENDS BY 2

 

TSLQBPRC: The last SIX D1 finals have been Legends vs Eyes Downtown (three times) and Legends vs Sticky Bandits (three times).  And barring a Freeballers upset for the ages, we’re about to see one of these rematches yet again.  We picked the Bandits to win the semifinals, but do they have a real shot against Legends?  As good as anyone, maybe, but they’d be underdogs for sure.  There’s no one that’s watching how Legends have played this year that’s NOT taking Legends to win, it’s just a question of how much.  LEGENDS BY 10

 

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

#5 Scared Hitless 26, #4 Jabronies 25

 

GF: One hell of a close game, as Scared Hitless proceeds to just do what they do best and show up in the playoffs, even if they got some help by Eric Kleckler’s untimely drops. 

TSLQBPRC: Jabronies are done for the season, but for their first in D2, they can’t be too disappointed.  They went 2-1 against Scared Hitless (unfortunately losing the only one that mattered, by just a point) and they did a heck of a lot better than Show Me Your TDs (okay, we’ll stop taking shots at that team now).  But Scared Hitless have a fearless playoff vibe, and they DO seem to play their best football this time of year.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 CAN’T TOUCH THIS (7-1) VS #5 SCARED HITLESS (2-6)

 

PF: CTT 43.33 (2nd) - SH 30.86 (4th)

PA: CTT 19.67(1st) - SH 34.57 (4th)

TSL Rank: CTT 5th - SH 45th

Past Games: CTT 21-0 (Forfeit)

Line: Can’t Touch This (-10)

GF: Can’t Touch This went 7-0 in D2 play and were the class of the league for most of the season, putting up lots of points along the way. While everyone points to their strong armed, supermodel QB as the reason for their success (it doesn’t hurt, that’s for sure), it’s actually been their defense that’s the biggest reason for their success. I think Scared Hitless will come to play (they always do), but I don’t think they’ll be able to keep CTT’s offense in check for the entire game. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 12

 

TSLQBPRC: Couldn’t have said it any better, Mr. Godfather.  Scared Hitless will not concede that they can’t beat the mighty Can’t Touch This, and we expect the first half to be a real battle.  But Can’t Touch This isn’t collapsing in the playoffs again.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 13

#2 MAVERICKS (5-3) VS #3 THE MALONES (4-4)

 

PF: Mavericks 37.38 (3rd) - Malones 43.86 (1st)

PA: Mavericks 30.88 (3rd) - Malones 27.43 (2nd)

TSL Rank: Mavericks 18th - Malones 24th

Past Games: Mavericks 41 - 40

Line: The Malones (-2)

 

TSLQBPRC: If you’ve seen the last two games between these teams, you know that Field 2 is where you want to be at 10 am on Saturday.  We’ve seen blown leads, comebacks, and dramatic finishes… which all seem to involve Stoner Dave celebrating with little to no time left on the clock.  The Malones have often LOOKED like the better team, and the Mavericks have been happy to play spoiler… so what do you bet on here?  The grit of Mavericks winning out again, or the talent of Malones to hold on this time?  This is a tough one.  With very little confidence, we’ll say THE MALONES BY 3

GF: The Malones have a better offense. The Malones have a better defense. The Malones look so much like the better team on paper that you forget that the Mavericks had the better record and are the higher seed. The only thing The Malones don’t have over the Mavericks? Wins. The Mavs won the D2 title last season over The Malones, and they beat The Malones this season in the “title game rematch” as well. The Malones also have this habit of choking in the biggest games. But they’re really good when they’re fired up (at the other team, not at each other), and they have to eventually overcome the Mavs, right? THE MALONES BY 2

THE D2 FINAL PREDICTION: 

 

GF: Can’t Touch This vs The Malones. These two teams gave us one of the best games of the year not too long ago, and I could only hope this one follows suit. Both teams are great on both sides of the ball, and this game will arguably come down to which team blinks first. I expect an all-out slug fest. Hopefully not literally. I’m flipping a coin. THE MALONES BY 1

 

TSLQBPRC: Can’t Touch This vs The Malones.  We agree on a Finals!  The Malones were SO much better than Can’t Touch This during last Fall’s finals.  And they haven’t gotten any WORSE at football… but it just feels like Can’t Touch This has gotten SO much better.  The Malones ARE the one team that can upset the undefeated (in D2 anyway) Can’t Touch This, but we just don’t think we’ll see that on Saturday.  CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 11

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

FIRST ROUND

 

#10 Girthquakes 33, #7 Buffalo Vice 18

#9 D-Generation X, Y, and Z 21, #8 716 0 (Forfeit)

 

SECOND ROUND

 

#1 Wanderers 50, #10 Girthquakes 23

#2 Practice Squad 37, #9 D-Generation X, Y, and Z 27

#3 Passing While Intoxicated 35, #6 Becca Gets Reccked 27

#5 Bullet Club 39, #4 Cunning Stunts 37

GF: The GQs pull off a nice win over Buffalo Vice before getting thrown into the fire that are the Wanderers. DXYZ got the win after 716 forfeited (weak) but couldn’t muster enough points to beat Playoff B and Practice Squad. PWI took a hard fought victory over BGR, where both teams beat each other up pretty badly, and Bullet Club finished off the day with a minor upset over the Cunning Stunts that came down to the last play of the game. All in all, exactly what you’d expect from D3, and I expect more of the same this weekend, where honestly, every single potential finals matchup is loaded with intrigue. Almost feels like we can’t lose here. 

 

TSLQBPRC: D3 has been, for YEARS now, the TSL’s best division.  And by “best division” we mean that the lower seeded teams have a REAL shot of beating the top seeded teams any given Saturday.  GirthQuakes, Buffalo Vice, D-Generation XY&Z, Becca Gets Reccked, CUNNING FREAKIN’ STUNTS… these were all VERY good teams, and they’re all eliminated already!  We’re not sure why D3 teams seem to come and go each season and the division stays so interesting and competitive, but we love it.  This should be the main event of the weekend.

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 WANDERERS (8-0) VS #5 BULLET CLUB (3-3-2)

 

PF: Wanderers 47.88 (1st) -  BC 32.35 (5th)

PA: Wanderers 27.00 (2nd) - BC 30.00 (3rd)

TSL Rank: Wanderers 2nd - BC 28th

Past Games: NONE

Line: Wanderers (-8)

 

TSLQBPRC: We’ve been picking Wanderers to win this division since the pre-season, and nothing we’ve seen so far this season is going to change our mind… but it’s a testament to how well Bullet Club played against the Stunts on Saturday that some of us on our committee are saying THIS is going to be the upset of the season.  It’s not impossible that Wanderers lose (they’ve lost as heavy favorites before… just ask the two teams on the other side of the D3 bracket) and why not have it be to a savvy team like Bullet Club?  That said, we have to follow the numbers, and the numbers say WANDERERS BY 9

GF: The Wanderers and Bullet Club have played many close games the last few seasons, and after not getting to play each other during the season (D3 had 10 teams, so each team had someone they didn’t play all year), it’s only fitting that these two meet for the first time this season with a trip to the title game on the line. However, the Wanderers have been rolling with Frank and Sal and Stoner and Al pretty easily all season where Bullet Club has had lots of injuries and having to tough out some wins. That could help them in a close game, but I’m entirely sure that it’s going to be that close. WANDERERS BY 12

#2 PRACTICE SQUAD (5-3) VS #3 PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED (5-3)

 

PF: PS 33.57 (4th) - PWI 42.88 (3rd)

PA: PS 26.86 (1st) - PWI 34.38 (5th)

TSL Rank: PS 14th - PWI 17th

Past Games: PS 46-30

Line: Practice Squad (-3)

 

GF: Buckle up. Playoff B vs Buddy Lee. TD Tori vs Renee. Those non-descript other guys on PWI vs those non-descript other guys (besides Kenny, who rocks, and John who will email me about how I said this when they win) on Practice Squad? This is a pretty even game, although the results of the first battle (a 16 point beat down that the Squad gave PWI) suggests that PS might have PWI’s number. Both teams can absolutely score, and I expect the over of 71.5 points to cash in, so it’s going to come down to defense. At the end of the day, I think Practice Squad has a much better chance of getting the stops against PWI than the other way around. PWI had a very good season, but I think this is just a very bad matchup for them. Of course if they won by 10 I wouldn’t be that shocked. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 8

 

TSLQBPRC: It’s a shame that this game is happening at 2 pm when the crowds will have died down a bit (ie everyone’s too drunk to wander over from the bar) because we expect this game is going to be a CLASSIC.  You nailed it - the QB matchups and the Female matchups are just top notch here.  We don’t put much stock in the early season game, as BOTH teams have big reputations of elevating their play when it matters most.  We’re going to take PWI BY 4

THE D3 FINALS PREDICTION

 

GF: #1 Wanderers vs #2 Practice Squad. It’s chalk, sure, but going chalk in D3 is more of a shocker than not, right? The Wanderers knocked the Squad off by 9 points a couple of weeks ago, and as everyone knows, it’s really hard to beat B twice in a season. Especially when you get Playoff B in that second matchup. The Wanderers have clicked on all cylinders this season, and they might be going to D2 regardless after the way they played this year. But, things are never this easy in D3. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2 

 

TSLQBPRC:  #1 Wanderers vs #3 PWI.  Fast, mobile, smarter-than-you’d-expect-considering-how-drunk-they-often-seem QBs?  Sign us up.  PWI eliminated Wanderers last Fall in the semifinals, but we don’t think it’s happening again.  Sure, Buddy can match Frank shot-for-shot (on the field or at the bar), but PWI’s big advantage in the past was Touchdown Tori.  She’s STILL incredible, but the return of Emily Laudico this year has evened the playing field a bit for the female players in this matchup.  So if the QBs and the women are more or less equal, and we have to bet on the men… aren’t you taking the team with Sal and Stoner?  WANDERERS BY 8

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

#2 Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks 44, #8 Cobblestone 37

#6 Come From Behind 38, #3 Mike’s Detailing 6

#4 Puckett 38, #5 Tater Tots 30

 

TSLQBPRC: The “Big Three” of D4 is down to a “Big Two” after Mike’s Detailing’s QB no-showed last weekend and they imploded without a proper backup.  And Bird Watching in My Birkenstocks almost choked it away too!  Interdimensional Lightning Falcons must have been planning their championship parade already (Andrew seems like a parade enthusiast to us).  Are Puckett and Come From Behind ready to shock the world and eliminate the favorites this weekend?

GF: Cobblestone pulling off that upset after a tumultuous season would’ve been the cherry on top of the “anything can happen on Playoff Saturday” sundae. BWB has to know they were lucky to escape. Come From Behind took Mike’s Detailing behind the woodshed (and not for the reasons Molly usually takes someone behind the woodshed either), taking advantage of a missing MD QB to move on to Championship Saturday. And oh look, Puckett is playing well in a playoff game. Who expected that? Oh yeah, everyone. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS (7-1) vs #6 COME FROM BEHIND (3-5)

 

PF: ILF 38.86 (2nd) - CFB 24.57 (6th)

PA: ILF 22.00 (2nd)) - CFB 32.86 (7th)

TSL Rank: ILF 6th - CFB 36th

Past Games: Come From Behind 34-33

Line: Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (-6)

 

GF: Is this finally the year for ILF?? It might be, but they’ve gotten quite the draw with CFB in their opening game. CFB had quite the rough patch during the season that dipped them to 3-5, but they really got it together last week, regardless of MD’s QB situation. They’ve already shown they can play with ILF (since you know, they beat them) and they’re very capable of doing it again. Besides, every Championship needs a shocker, doesn’t it? COME FROM BEHIND BY 2

 

TSLQBPRC: ILF are lucky that the schedule-makers put D4 before D3.  Five possible games in a day is hard for anyone, let alone a QB that scrambles as much as Buddy.  A fresh QB will make a big difference though, as Buddy has a LITTLE more mobility at this stage in his career than Paul LoVullo.  We know that CFB won their matchup earlier this season, and you can argue that means they “match up well” against ILF.  But the numbers all say that ILF are just a better team, and barring a weird collapse, it’s hard to imagine them falling in the semifinals.  ILF BY 15

#2 BIRD WATCHING IN MY BIRKENSTOCKS (6-2) VS #4 PUCKETT (5-3)

 

PF: BWB 40.75 (1st) - Puckett 31.00 (4th)

PA: BWB 21.88 (1st) - Puckett 31.50 (6th)

TSL Rank: BWB 10th - Puckett 16th

Past Games: BWB 40-12

Line: Bird Watching In My Birkenstocks (-6)

 

TSLQBPRC: Doesn’t Puckett ALWAYS morph into a different team for playoffs?  Isn’t that their “thing”?  They were a good team in the regular season, and we think we’ll see a GREAT version of them on Saturday… against a Bird Watching in My Birkenstocks team that suddenly looked beatable last weekend.  We’ll take the (small) upset here.  PUCKETT BY 2

GF: I think this is a pretty classic case of the numbers being deceiving. BWB has the best offense and defense in the division because they got the easy wins over Cobblestone which has made them look a bit more formidable than they really are. I wonder if Puckett was missing players in that 40-12 loss because it feels almost out of place based on the rest of their season. I think I’m going to go with the playoff bump Puckett always gets. PUCKETT BY 3

THE D4 FINALS PREDICTIONS

 

TSLQBPRC: #1 ILF vs #4 Puckett.  You can see from our predictions earlier that we do not expect Buddy to be a two-time champion on Saturday (unless he wins Breakfast Club, maybe).  But we DO expect him to walk away with ONE championship, and this is the one.  This is too good a team to fail this session… maybe they’re saving their failures for next session, when they move up to D3 and suddenly lose their star Quarterback?  ILF BY 9

GF: #4 Puckett vs #6 Come From Behind. Just like everyone else had, right? There’s always a “wacky” division championship that people weren’t expecting, and this feels like a plausible prediction to come true. What’s even better is that these two teams just played a couple of weeks ago in an awesome game (Puckett won 32-30) so if this ends up being the title game, we should see a good one. PUCKETT BY 6

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 Powerpuff Girls 52, #9 Pit Harade 12

#2 Two Tuddies 43, #7 Mo’ Chicken 0

#3 Not So Sticky 21, #6 Jake From State Farm 20

#5 Blitzkrieg 35, #4 Sausage McMuffins 30

 

GF: No real surprises in D5 - The top two seeds dominated, Not So Sticky pulled out a close one, and Blitzkrieg and the McMuffins had a classic close contest. D5 definitely had a clear line between the haves and have nots this year. 

 

TSLQBPRC: The headline of D5 going into the playoffs was “No one can beat the PowerPuff Girls… although Two Tuddies will try” (remember?  From our article last week?  Or does everyone just read the Godfather?).  Nothing we saw last week has changed our perception of the division.  It’s still PowerPuff and Tuddies miles ahead of the rest of the crowd… and unfortunately for Tuddies, THEY are a mile behind the all-girls team.  

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 POWERPUFF GIRLS (8-0) VS #5 BLITZKRIEG (3-4-1)

 

PF: PPG 48.25 (1st) - BK 19.38 (6th)

PA: PPG 17.25 (1st) - BK 18.75 (2nd)

TSL Rank: PPG 1st - BK 29th

Past Games: PPG 28-18

Line: Powerpuff Girls (-14)

 

GF: The Powerpuff Girls continued their assault on D5, winning by 40 last week to make it to the 2nd round. Here they’ll meet up with D6 champion Blitzkrieg, who shouldn’t be considered a push over by the girls. The PPG scored 43+ and won by two scores or more in every single game this season EXCEPT against Blitzkrieg, where they only won by 10 points, 28-18. The BK Defense is very good, and they’re able to slow down the PPG offense. The question will be if the BK offense can put up enough points to pull this one out. Not sure they can. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 9

 

TSLQBPRC:  It IS interesting that Blitzkrieg lost to PowerPuff Girls by only 10 points this season.  Did they figure out the magic formula to keep up with PPG?  Or did they just have a lucky performance on a day that PowerPuff was feeling off?  We tend to think it’s the latter.  With respect to Blitzkrieg (who looked JUST FINE in D5 this session) there is no chance anyone wins this division other than the PowerPuff Girls.  Hey, what happened to their costume day this season?? POWERPUFF BY 21

#2 TWO TUDDIES (7-1) VS #3 NOT SO STICKY (5-3)

 

PF: TT 33.00 (2nd) - NSS 23.38 (5th)

PA: TT 21.13 (4th) - NSS 21.00 (3rd)

TSL Rank: TT 7th - NSS 19th

Past Games: TT 29-28

Line: Two Tuddies (-1)

 

TSLQBPRC: These two played a CLASSIC earlier this season, and they usually have very good games against each other.  Not So Sticky had a SLIGHTLY better defense this season, but not by enough to matter.  Two Tuddies had a MUCH better offense this season, and that gives them an edge in this matchup for sure.  We do suspect it’ll come down to the last five minutes or so, but Kory Reid will make some ridiculous play, or Tino will have a one-handed interception, or Shirtless Chris will distract everyone by taking off his shirt, and Tuddies will steal the game.  TWO TUDDIES BY 3

GF: In this week’s edition of “Of course these two play each other in the playoffs”, I give you the Tud Buds vs NSS. A friendly rivalry that’s churned out many memorable games, including the Tuddies 29-28 victory earlier this season. Now with a trip to the D5 title game on the line, the stakes have never been higher. The winner most likely gets to go to war with the PPGs, which isn’t the best victory prize. There’s no doubt this will be a close one, but I do think it’ll end in the Tuddies’ favor. Barely. TWO TUDDIES BY 1 (AGAIN)

THE D5 FINALS PREDICTIONS

 

GF: #1 Powerpuff Girls vs #2 Two Tuddies. The PPGs won 44-10 against the Tud Buds a couple of weeks ago, and they may have figured out some holes that they can exploit again this time around. I do think the Tuddies will keep this game closer than the first one, but since about Week 2, the Powerpuff Girls have just felt inevitable. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 16

 

TSLQBPRC: Tuddies celebrate their victory over Not So Sticky for three minutes.  The vibe is strong, and enthusiasm is at an all-time high.  Then the Finals starts.  POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 21

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 TMA 34, #9 Intentional Clowning 27

#2 Balls Deep 44, #8 Select 16

#3 Blue Ballers 34, #6 Dogg Pound 8

#4 Irish Giants 21, #5 Raw Milkers 15 (OT)

 

TSLQBPRC: Last week we said “We don’t think [Intentional Clowning will] beat TMA on Saturday… but we wouldn’t be shocked if the game came down to the wire.”  It did!  What a game.  And Irish Giants won the TSL’s only Overtime game so far this season, which was awesome for them.  Yeah, the Balls Deep and Blue Ballers games weren’t very close… but we think they’ll have a more competitive one this week!

 

GF: Ah D6, The only division to have all of the top seeds win. After seeing the Irish Giants stay hot and pull out the win against the Milkers, I feel like it’s safe to say we have the 4 best teams in D6 left playing. TMA squeaked by Clowning, while both Balls Deep and the Blue Ballers easily rolled to victories last week. 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

 

#1 TMA (7-1) VS #4 IRISH GIANTS (4-4)

 

PF: TMA 31.25 (2nd) - IG 16.88 (9th)

PA: TMA 20.63 (2nd) - IG 24.50 (4th)

TSL Rank: TMA 8th - IG 27th

Past Games: Irish Giants 27-12

Line: TMA (-3)

 

GF: Well, this might have ended up poorly for TMA. The Irish Giants are the 1 behind the 1 in 7-1 for TMA’s record, as they beat TMA on the last week of the season to stop them from going 8-0. I guess TMA didn’t have their QB for that one, which obviously hurts a team (someone ask Mike’s Detailing about that) but the Giants have been playing very well for a bit now. However, with a trip to the championship on the line, and the entire team (I assume) going to be there, TMA’s loss to the Giants may have been a good thing, as they won’t sleep on them this time, nor will they look past them to the title game where they’ll play whoever survives BD-BB. TMA BY 3

 

TSLQBPRC: TMA will be the favorites in this game, without question.  But they CAN’T be that confident, right?  They lost to Irish Giants a couple weeks ago, they ALMOST lost to Intentional Clowning last week, and Irish Giants have suddenly found their mojo.  Do we dare pick the upset here?? No, it looks like we’re not that bold.  TMA BY 2

#2 BALLS DEEP (6-2) VS #3 BLUE BALLERS (6-2)

 

PF: BD 31.13 (3rd) - BB 38.88 (1st)

PA: BD 19.13 (1st) - BB 29.38 (8th)

TSL Rank: BD 9th - BB 11th

Past Games: BD 47-30

Line: Balls Deep (-7)

 

TSLQBPRC: Blue Ballers play an incredible brand of hurry-up offense that’s putting up almost 40 points per game.  Balls Deep have the strongest defense in the division.  Clearly, something’s got to give here.  Balls Deep won the head-to-head matchup in the regular season.  Balls Deep has the better point differential.  We should pick Balls Deep, right?  Right?? BLUE BALLERS BY 5

GF: The Blue Ballers have been very impressive this season, at least on offense, as they scored a full TD more on average than anyone else. Their problem is that they have no idea how to play defense, and that combo leading to many wins is unsustainable. They weren’t going to have any trouble slowing down the Dogg Pound offense last week, but Balls Deep is a different story. Balls Deep has been good all season, they won their playoff game easily, and they seem so locked in that unless the Blue Ballers went to a defense clinic during the week, they’re in trouble. BALLS DEEP BY 10

THE D6 FINALS PREDICTIONS

 

TSLQBPRC: #1 TMA vs #3 Blue Ballers.  Other than D5 (where we took the #1 seed vs the #2 seed) it looks like we took EVERY #1 seed to win their game, and every “underdog” to win in the other semifinal game.  What a bunch of cowards we are!  Picking all the small upsets, and none of the big ones.  But #1 seeds are #1 seeds for a reason, and they’ve earned some benefit of the doubt.  TMA is a legendary TSL franchise with a storied history.  Blue Ballers used to be Mighty Drunks/Purple Nurples and they’re on a mission to change their entire identity this session.  We believe in what they’re doing.  Long story short: We have no idea what’s going to give in this game.  But since we haven’t bet against a #1 seed yet, this seems like the time.  BLUE BALLERS BY 5

 

GF: #1 TMA vs #2 Balls Deep. These were the best two teams all season, and it showed. TMA pulled out a 32-22 win during the season that left a little bad blood between the teams, and it also had the TSL discussing a “distinct kicking motion” like we’re the NHL. Either way, this one is sure to be a classic, with both teams evenly matched. At that point you have to go to vibes, and while the TMA vibes are always the best in the league, they haven’t been on point the last two weeks, while Balls Deep has been. BALLS DEEP BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

• If you could only watch ONE game from the set matchups (in other words no title games) what game is it? 

 

 

GF: There’s a few good ones to choose from here, but if I could only watch ONE game from the ones we know about, I’d have to choose Mavericks vs The Malones. 

 

TSLQBPRC: You chose right, but if we have to choose ANOTHER game that’s sure to deliver, it’s Practice Squad vs PWI.  They’ll write stories about this game some day.

 

 

• What prediction did you absolutely get wrong?

 

 

GF: I won’t count my slightly off the wall D4 prediction, but I’m sure that I’ve got D3 wrong in some way, shape or form. Anything can happen there. 

 

TSLQBPRC: D6 we might have gotten EVERY GAME wrong, let alone the championship.  Good divisions are unpredictable divisions.  D3 and D6… thanks for making this a season to remember.

 

 

• Who’s winning Breakfast Club?

 

 

GF: Well, we have the top two teams in Breakfast Club facing off, with Carly’s team taking on Sydney’s team. Both teams were 5-1, handing each other their losses. The teams are pretty similar overall, but at the end of the day, Buddy has two other championships to worry about, and Garrett doesn’t have anything to do after 10:00, so he can put it all on the line a bit more. SYD ON MY FACE BY 8

 

TSLQBPRC: Do you think Buddy “worries” about stuff?  We just assumed he rolls out of bed in the morning, pounds a 40, and plays some ball.  And isn’t that what Breakfast Club is all about?  ReinCARnated BY 10

 

 

• Which player is going to have the most impact on his/her team’s championship run?

 

 

GF: I’ll give you an obvious answer, a kind of obvious answer, and the sort of surprise. The obvious one is Buddy Lee, and that goes for PWI AND ILF. Oh, and ReinCARnated. If the rumors of him playing with an injury are true, having him play potentially five games seems like the wrong move. The kind of obvious answer is Stoner Dave. He’s just a baller, and now he has dad strength on top of it all? He’s helped the Wanderers go to another level, and he’s already helped the Mavericks win a title before. There’s nothing that says he CAN’T do it again. Last but CERTAINLY not least? Paul LoVullo. I know he’s playing in his 133rd season, but he still throws the ball harder than 96% of TSL QBs, and if he’s on, Come From Behind ascends a couple of levels. 

 

TSLQBPRC: We’ll cheat and give you two.  Can’t Touch This couldn’t get past the Malones last Fall (in fact, they weren’t even close).  This session they’re dominant.  Is the difference Ben Stack?  If he has a great day on Saturday, Can’t Touch This won’t just win D2 – they’ll be ready to compete in D1.  And our other is Touchdown Tori.  Can we all acknowledge she’s a Top Ten girl already?? (You DEMANDED the Female Rankings!  We won’t rank them all this session, but Tori is TOP TEN for sure)

 

 

• Let’s look WAY too far ahead here - which team’s future are you most excited about?

 

 

GF: There’s a lot of teams with bright futures. I really think Mike’s Detailing is coming along as a future top team, provided that they have the QB playing. I want to see The Malones play in D1, just to see what happens. The Powerpuff Girls in D4 is going to be fun to watch, of course. But I’m curious about a lot of D6 teams - The Raw Milkers showed lots of promise this season. Balls Deep should be in D5 next season as they’ve finally seemed to get it together. The Blue Ballers seem to be heading in a really nice direction as well. There’s just a lot of younger, newer teams that are just starting to “figure it out” and I want to see how they’ll do next season. 

 

TSLQBPRC: SO many good answers to this question.  How will Can’t Touch This do in D1?  Will PowerPuff Girls become the new Stunts and dominate D4 for half a decade until they finally move up to D3?  Can TMA return to glory and compete in D5 after struggling there in the past?  But our biggest question right now is “what can Wanderers do as a top division team?”  Do you remember when Topper used to call D1 and D2 the “Competitive” divisions and D3-D6 were the “Recreational” divisions?  If that’s still true (and it kind of is) are the Wanderers ready to compete with the other Competitive teams?  Are we going to see them in D1 some day?

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

• Remember, even if your team isn’t playing at all this weekend, come on down to the fields anyway so you can watch the games and hang out with your TSL family for one last Saturday before August. 

 

 

 

• Games of the Day:

 

ALL OF THEM. 

 

• As always, make sure your teams are at the fields TEN MINUTES EARLY, as we’re going to start games as ON TIME as possible as to avoid overlapping games for players that could case conflicts and/or if there’s games that go into OT, things like that. 

 

 

• Here’s your annual reminder that, yes, the Race for Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is a BIG DEAL, but please, please, please don’t be a complete jerk to the refs who might miss a call or not see something that you think you saw. The refs are instructed to toss you right out of the game if you’re going to lose your mind, so think twice before you potentially cost your team. 

 

 

 

• The current weather report is as follows: 80 degrees, with some potential rain early on. But at least it’ll be warm rain?

 

 

 

• Sign up for the TSL’s annual wine tournament if you haven’t yet! Limited spots are available! 

 

 

 

• Just a casual reminder from our good friends at the Rose Garden that you’re not to bring outside alcohol to the fields! 

 

 

 

• Just a casual reminder to our good friends at the Rose Garden that people wouldn’t do that if you gave them a few more specials! I’ve been told the prices are a little steep. Come on now! 

 

 

 

• Quick ranking of the #1 seeds from least likely to blow it to most likely to blow it: Powerpuff Girls, Legends, Can’t Touch This, ILF, Wanderers, TMA. 

 

 

 

• To the future champions, please make sure you stick around for your team photo for the website! 

 

The Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is about to end! Everything you’ve done until this moment: The practices, the missed birthday parties, the muscle pulls, the High Noons, the Bs Brother hugs…everything has led you to this moment, to the edge of glory. Will you capture it? Or just let it slip? 

 

I’ll see you in the cut. 

 

-GF OUT

• Prev
• Next