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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, as the calendar changes to June, I’m sad to report that there are only TWO weeks left in the Spring 2023 session. All you have are two weeks left to get your act together on the field and prepare for the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality that is about to begin on the 17th. By this point in time, you usually have a good idea of what exactly your team is. The haves and have nots in each division tend to have made themselves known, and favorites emerge. This current TSL season, however, is all over the place. After six weeks of football, we have some divisions with teams separating themselves (Sticky vs Legends in D1, The Untouchaballs in D2, GUCCI in D5) and then you have other divisions where who knows what you’re going to get (D3 is it’s usual “anyone can win on any day”, Buffalo Vice just beat the formerly impervious Puckett in D4, the last place Mighty Drunks beat the undefeated Sausage McMuffins in D6 last week). 

 

The point is, as usual, nothing is guaranteed in the TSL, and you have two more weeks to figure it out. 

GOOD NOT BAD:

 

Sticky Bandits and Legends are a combined 12-1, with the only loss being when Sticky defeated the Legends. They’re on a crash course for the title.

 

The Untouchaballs (and Matt Helm) asserted their dominance over No Punt Intended, quickly becoming the favorites in D2. 

 

Vaspian got their first win of the season this week, stopping the former “hottest team in the TSL” Can’t Touch This. 

 

Buffalo Vice put up 53 points en route to a victory over the previously unbeaten Puckett All-Stars. 

 

GUCCI keeps stomping everyone in their way, Goatsack goes 2-0 last week. 

 

Southside wins again to go 5-1, world still wonders how they lost a game. 

BAD NOT GOOD: 

 

Scared Hitless playing better, still not putting up enough points

 

The former “everyone has a shot to win the division” division in D2 is looking like a 2 team race (and one team just smacked the other)

 

Itches and Ohs (And the Creekers!) forfeit last week 

 

Travis Henry’s Kids gets walloped by both gender teams to fall to 3-3 on the season, lose by a combined 112-72

 

TMA, Tater Tots, and Not So Sticky all continue to lose, struggling to score, struggling to stop anyone, or sometimes both. 

 

Back That Pass Up scores a whopping 45 points, only to allow 64 and drop to 0-6. 

All any of this means in the long run is that we don’t know anything, even after six weeks of football. The next two weeks are pivotal for all of the teams to get it together to get to the playoffs. And for those teams that have seemingly “figured it out”: you haven’t. Don’t get complacent. 

 

Or, do, and it’ll make yet another wild and crazy Playoff Saturday. 

 

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Sticky Bandits 38, Tight Ends In Motion 12

Sticky Bandits 40, Frodo Swaggins 25

Frodo Swaggins 41, Scared Hitless 24

Legends 36, Eyes Downtown 30

Eyes Downtown 29, Scared Hitless 26

 

Overall, there’s a decent amount to unpack here. First off, Sticky continues to roll, putting up two easy wins over TEIM and Frodo. Frodo would then go on to get a win over Scared Hitless, who would go onto lose by 3 to Eyes Downtown, who had just lost by 6 to the Legends and therefore started to show they have that outside shot at title contention. Get all of that? Good. 

This Week’s Games: 

 

Sticky Bandits vs Eyes Downtown (+7) - After a 6 point loss to the Legends last week, Eyes Downtown confirmed to themselves that they’re much more of a title contender than they’re being given credit for. They get a Sticky Squad that’s just been on cruise control for most of the season, racking up win after win. If ED can win (or keep this close) this week, perhaps we do have a 4 horse race for D1. STICKY BANDITS BY 8

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Scared Hitless (+6) - The “Scared Hitless is going to be just fine” crowd was silenced last weekend, as SH went 0-2 and failed to put up over 30 points in a game yet again. However, they’re getting a TEIM team that’s been just as offensively inept lately, only putting up 27 points total the last couple of weeks. Just a lost season for TEIM at this point. SCARED HITLESS BY 3

 

Losing Streak vs Frodo Swaggins (+9) - Losing Streak is in the perfect spot aren’t they? They’re 4-2, and everyone is talking about everyone around them. That usually means teams are about to sleep on them. Perfect time for them to strike in the playoffs. Frodo has been gutting this season out, and they have a 2-4 record to show for it. After a rough Week 1 where they got blown out twice, they’ve settled in a little bit and found a rhythm. With games against Losing Streak here and Sticky next week, we’ll see just how far they’ve come. LOSING STREAK BY 8

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

The Untouchaballs 41, No Punt Intended 17

 

The only D2 game of the week was quite the statement for Burr and friends, as Travis threw more TD passes to Untouchaballs players than NPI players. 

This Week’s Games:

 

No Punt Intended vs Practice Squad (+10) - You can be sure that NPI is going to be focused on getting last week out of their head, and they’ll get the 0-5 Practice Squad to do it. Practice Squad was last seen getting chased off the fields by Untouchaballs, but that may have been the kick in the rear they needed to get moving. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2 IN AN UPSET OF THE DAY SPECIAL

 

The Untouchaballs vs Mavericks (+10) - I hope the Mavericks enjoyed their week off. Their reward is getting to play the newest “hottest team in the TSL”, that’s clicking on all cylinders on both sides of the ball. I know the Mavs have been working on that defense, but this game might be demoralizing for them. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 12

 

Freeballers vs Practice Squad (+7) - The Freeballers aren’t quite dead yet, despite losing their QB for the season. They had a really nice first game with the new QB, and then had a bye last week. It’s still tough to adjust to a new guy on the fly, so props to them for even trying. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 3, B IMMEDIATELY ANNOUNCES HE’S BACK TO THE WORLD

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Vaspian 30, Cant Touch This 28

Let’s Get Reccked 50, Degeneration Sexy 40

Jabronies 21, Itches and Ohs 0 (forfeit)

 

Jabronies stay on top of the division with a forfeit win over Itches. LGR drops 50 points in an absolute barnburner with D-Sex, while Vaspian proves how smart I am, showing that they ARE sneaky good and they DID win by 2. Nailed it. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Wanderers vs Can’t Touch This (+3) - CTT scores quickly and often, while the Wanderers proceed to be a bit more methodical and take time off the clock. They keep EVERY game close, and that’s by design. If you haven’t noticed yet, they want the ball in their hands as the clock winds down so they control the game. A loss last week shouldn’t derail CTT’s season at all. This will be fun to watch. WANDERERS BY 3

 

Jabronies vs Bullet Club (+3) - The Jabronies are on a 5 game win streak after the forfeit win last week. They’re winning by a bunch and they’re winning close games. Bullet Club is 0-3 after a 3-0 start, as they’re missing key players just about every week like the BC teams of old. They’ve lost those games by a combined 5 points, so there’s a world where they’re 6-0 and the talk of the league. This game figures to be a close one, and the Jabronies are a little better at winning those than BC is. JABRONIES BY 2

 

Itches and Ohs vs Vaspian (EVEN) - Vaspian is 1-0-1 the last two weeks and are learning how to close out games. They get an Itches and Ohs team that gets their QB back after a two week suspension. Most teams would struggle without their QB, but Itches is especially reliant on Steve and how they run things. They can’t really have someone else step in and replace him based on how they play. I think he’s ready to set the league on fire. ITCHES AND OHS BY 8

 

Vaspian vs Degeneration Sexy (+6) - D-Sex has been playing better the last few weeks, getting a win and scoring a bunch of points. Things really look to be coming together, even if the record doesn’t show it. As long as Scotty Dro doesn’t ditch them, they can beat anyone in D3. DEGENERATION SEXY BY 4

 

Itches and Ohs vs Lets Get Reccked (EVEN) - Itches gets right back to it, taking on an LGR team that could put up 12 points or put up 50 against you, and you never know what you’re going to get. This game feels like a back and forth game where both teams get in the low 20s. ITCHES AND OHS BY 1

 

D4: 

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 53, Puckett All-Stars 46

Passing While Intoxicated 29, Cobblestone 28

BAADies 60, Travis Henry’s Kids 32

Cunning Stunts 52, Travis Henry’s Kids 40

Cunning Stunts 21, Creekers 0 (forfeit)

 

Well hello there Buffalo Vice! Sick of hearing about how good Puckett is, Vice came out to play and took down the juggernaut PAS. PWI snuck past Cobblestone, stopping Darryl Carr QB Superstar on a game winning 2 point conversion attempt to win the game. Usually Langley has to pay women to beat him this badly, but the BAADies and the Stunts did it for free this weekend, obliterating THK on the fields. The Stunts also picked up a forfeit win to get themselves over .500 on the season, finally. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids (+7) - While THK won’t have to worry about the girls dropping points on them this weekend, they’ll still have to play a Buffalo Vice team that HAS to be feeling good about themselves after last weekend. This feels like a game between one team on the rise and the other, well, not. BUFFALO VICE BY 12

 

BAADies vs Cunning Stunts (EVEN) - THE RIVALRY IS RENEWED!! ITS ON! There is NOTHING better in the TSL than a good old fashioned gender team battle. The only downside is that this wasn’t saved for Lenny and Rameer Day next weekend. Both of these teams are getting it going, and at the right time too. They’re pretty closely matched, but at the end of the day, I have to pick one of them: BAADIES BY 1. 

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Cunning Stunts (+3) - The Stunts immediately get to play PWI after the big game, which is good for PWI to catch them right after a game that should be emotionally taxing. PWI continues to play good football and do exactly what is needed to win. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 8

 

Puckett All-Stars vs Cobblestone (+7) - It’s going to largely depend on who Darryl Carr QB Superstar gets to play this week, but let’s face it, Puckett is more than likely stewing about that loss last week and they’ll be looking to dominate yet again. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 14

 

Passing While Intoxicated vs Creekers (+10) - Good team vs Not Good Team. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 18

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Goatsack! 39, Tater Tots 38

Goatsack! 31, TMA 21

Come From Behind 47, TMA 14

GUCCI 34, Not So Sticky 0

Long Balls 38, ILF 30

 

Goatsack went 2-0 this week, and how they did it was impressive: knocking off the Tots and then TMA. TMA continued to spiral this season, picking up another loss after that to Come From Behind. GUCCI brought NSS behind the woodshed. And the Long Balls come away with another win, this time against the Lightning Falcons. 

This Week’s Games:

 

TMA vs Not So Sticky (+3) - Before the season, if you looked at the schedule, you’d assume there’d have been a great chance that these two teams would’ve been playing for the #1 seed in D5 this weekend. Not so much. TMA is 0-4 after a good start, and they’re struggling to score points at all. They’re second last in the division in points for. The good news? Not So Sticky is last. Both teams have decent to good defenses, so it’s going to be low scoring here. TMA BY 2

 

GUCCI vs Tater Tots (+7) - GUCCI is 4-1, they’re scoring points, and they’re playing excellent defense. They’re one of the hottest teams in the league, and Kelly Kane is slinging it as well as anyone out there(The QB Rankings committee needs to get it together too). The Tots, meanwhile, just continue to struggle on the season. Or so it seems. They’re 1-1-1 in their last 3, tying Long Balls, losing by a point to Goatsack, and beat NSS. Don’t forget, they beat Come From Behind this year. They’re a sneeze away from being 4-2 and this game is for the #1 seed. TATER TOTS BY 3

 

Come From Behind vs Long Balls (+3) - The Long Balls find themselves at 3-2-1 and 3rd in the division. They’re playing well, but with wins over struggling teams like TMA, the Tots, and whatever ILF is this season, you wonder if they’re actually good or not. Well, here’s your test. Come From Behind has been D5’s “big bad” for a long time now, and the LoVullo squad routinely puts up 30+ points with ease. But, they also play pretty great defense too. If the LBs can figure this one out, they’ll be considered “for real”. They won’t. COME FROM BEHIND BY 10

 

  

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Southside 43, Grass Eaters 16

Balls Deep 64, Back That Pass Up 45

Two Tuddies 24, Blitzkrieg 20

Mighty Drunks 31, Sausage McMuffins 27

 

Southside beat up on the Grass Eaters to move into first place in the division because the Mighty Drunks came out and beat the McMuffins. Big win for the Drunks! Two Tuddies continue to keep rolling, as they hand Blitzkrieg another loss to put them at 3-3 on the season. Then finally, Balls Deep did their best Spinelli’s impression and dropped 64 on BTPU.

This Week’s Games:

 

Southside vs Sausage McMuffins (+7) - This game is still for the first seed, but its less exciting now that the McMuffins lost last weekend. As much of a fun, feel good story the McMuffins have been, Southside remains the main D6 story. They have the best offense and the best defense in the division, and they’re in a class above everyone else. SOUTHSIDE BY 12

 

Balls Deep vs Grass Eaters (+8) - These two teams may be more evenly matched than one thinks. Balls Deep is due to come back down to Earth after a crazy win last week, and the Grass Eaters are getting their QB back this week as well. Also, at the end of the day, Balls Deep doesn’t have anyone on their team that can compete with Rylee. GRASS EATERS BY 10

 

Mighty Drunks vs Back That Pass Up (+6) - Back That Pass Up finally figured out how offense worked this season, but did it at the expense of completely forgetting what defense is. Not the best formula, BUT they’re figuring things out, and that’s the most important part. The Drunks apparently can’t spell, but that’s okay. They pulled off a BIG win over the McMuffins, and because of that they can potentially get out of the 8v9 “play in” game with a win here and against the Tuddies next week. MIGHTIY DRUNKS BY 8

 

Two Tuddies vs Pit Harade (+10) - The Tuddies have been cruising along, winning games, and playing really well on both sides of the ball. It’s amazing to see where they were a few seasons ago to now.  Pit Harade has had an okay initial campaign. They’ve been pretty good offensively, but that defense isn’t doing them any favors. Once they figure out what they’re doing on that side of the ball, they might be able to make some noise. Getting the Tuddies and Southside for your last two games isn’t going to help that. TWO TUDDIES BY 17

 

Two Tuddies vs Sausage McMuffins (+3) - What a doubleheader for the McMuffins. Southside AND the Tuddies. The schedule makers must hate them for some reason. After last week’s hiccup against the Drunks, the McMuffins could find themselves tumbling down the standings this week. Fortunes in the TSL can change in the blink of an eye. TWO TUDDIES BY 10

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• What’s going on with Breakfast Club? Not too long ago, I was thinking we had, top to bottom, the most even BC we’ve had in years. After a few more weeks, I can see that i was wrong. Yet again, Steph Infection is the class of the league, with the top offense, and one of the top defenses. BDSM however, has really been clicking the last few weeks to give us an interesting top two. It’ll be fun to see how it plays out, as it always is. 

 

 

 

• What should we expect weather wise this week? Well, two weeks ago was raining and miserable, last week was way too hot, so this week is looking like it’ll be “just right” for football weather. 

 

 

 

• What teams are sitting in the middle of the standings that could make some noise in the playoffs? Let’s call this one the 3-3 club. D1 has Eyes Downtown that just lost to Legends last week and you can’t ever count Bobby out. D2 has Jordan and the Mavericks lurking, hoping that they fly under the radar a little longer. D3 has Bullet Club who as we mentioned lost their last 3 games by a combined 5 points. D4 has the BAADies clicking on offense finally, which historically (when they were the Angels) meant they couldn’t be beat. D5 has the Interdimensional Lightning Falcons, which is a team that has talent, and plays great defense, but just struggles to be consistent. And D6 has Blitzkrieg, a perennial title contender that has two 1 score losses on their record (Tuddies by 4, McMuffins by 8) and then the drubbing by Southside that is more of an outlier than the norm. You can’t ever count them out. 

 

 

 

• What’s going on with the wine tournament? Well, more information should be coming out sooner than later. It’s going to be coming up this August, so get ready for it. 

 

 

 

• Where has B’s Brother been? The question we always need to know, of course. He’s been on official league business scouting more sites and talent for TSL Atlanta. Hopefully he’ll be back to the fields soon. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:

 

 

• Someone get Sean some shorts. 

 

 

 

• I know that you’re getting upset that the TSL season is winding down and that the games are getting more important, but once again, please remember to stop being jerks to the refs. I'm aware that you’re fighting for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality, but cut it out. Every week I get an email about someone having some sort of issue. I’ll say it weekly if I have to.

 

 

 

• Speaking of the refs, shout out to them for dealing with the bi-polar Buffalo weather that you guys experience. Cold and Rainy one week, incredibly hot the next. Thanks for what you guys do out there. 

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions:

• Steph Infection 40, Liddle Dubs 24

• BDSM 47, The Vajennas 33

• Komosexuals 32, The ASS 30

 

 

 

• Games of the Day: 

• 10:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Wanderers

• 11:00 - Buffalo Vice vs Travis Henry’s Kids

• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Jabronies

• 1:00 - BAADies vs Cunning Stunts

• 2:00 - Frodo Swaggins vs Losing Streak

• 3:00 - Sausage McMuffins vs Two Tuddies

 

 

 

• Casual reminder to everyone that the schedule for Playoff Saturday on June 17th is already set and isn’t changing. If you don’t know what it is, ask Jeff Krol to send it to you, or ask your captains for it, as they’ve had it for weeks. 

 

 

 

• Yes, everyone makes the playoffs this year. The League was informed that the 5th field was supposed to already be unavailable to us by now. It looks more and more like we should’ve been able to have more teams and use that field all season. 

 

 

 

• For those wondering about the Topper comeback story: it appears his magical shoulder that has thrown 4,302 touchdowns and 5,913 interceptions has torn and he’ll be surgically repairing it at some point. Once that happens, the TSL will have the hottest free agent it’s had in years. 

 

 

 

• Want to be on the podcast? Talk to Jeff Krol or Joe K asap. It’s a fun way to get people to know who you and your teammates are! 

 

 

 

• Or, just email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to give me info about the games you’re playing in and who should be mentioned for being awesome on your team. I can only get so much information from my informants. Thank you to those that do email me. 

 

Week 7 is now officially a go. Good luck. 

 

-GF OUT

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