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ON SEPTEMBER 22^ND IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2018 AT 1 O’CLOCK HISTORY WILL BE MADE

It’s been a year in the making. Oh have we had some glorious rivalries in this game based on pure hatred.  We have had The Tammy’s vs Nice TDS.  We have had Eyes Downtown vs Varsity Villains. We have had Seneca Greenhouse vs Molly’s Ladies. We have had Riley St Station vs all of D2. We have had Meg Ferrell vs Beth Zygmant and the Godmother Marissa Mariano. And who could forget the greatest hatred rivalry of all I of course am speaking about DWIERS vs Hot Sauce. But this one could be just as big, just as salty and just as magical. It started many moons ago when one Blasé LaDuca took to face book and fired the “shot heard round the world.” The hatred between Blasé LaDuca and Emily Curry was so bad it took a secret year end peace meeting brokered by none other than Darryl Carr QB Superstar to find some sort of peace. That lasted for like a week then the rivalry continued.  Matty’s Angels struck back by literally laying the “smacketh downeth” on ACE in route to their first championship. ACE left last season and we did not get our re-match….. until now. On September 22^nd  in the year of our Lord 2018 at 1:00 (2) teams will take the field of battle in the greatest re-match in history. They are billing it as the “game of the decade.” Who is they? How the F should I know just know this game will be magical nay stupendous nay un-forgettable.  This game is so big TSL has decided to flex schedule it and move it to Field #1. Let’s take a closer look at the tape shall we.

TALE OF THE TAPE

                                     ACE +4 VS MATTY’S ANGELS

Matty’s Angels 2-0

Matty Ice                  Lindsay Stoddard              Kellie Mazur                       Kate Salisbury

Dave Kleckler          Molly Morgan                    Nicole Sharick                    Nikki Sabuda

Emily Curry              Val Bernal                            Kate Miano

Casey Oliphant        Maggie LaMantia              Sam Thompson

Strengths: Their leadership is rock solid. Matty Ice has won so many titles in this league, far too many to mention. His plate O’ Spaghetti offense is un-orthodox but it’s what he knows and it’s what he makes work. Each and every Angel knows anything is possible. Whether you are on the field or the side line a ball can come to you at any time. The Angels are fast, they are smart and they have a pack mentality. They are specialists in scoring at will and having fun. They also have beaten ACE before and right now they have a psychological edge.

Weaknesses: Gender teams struggle on defense when a team isolates a shorter safety against a taller receiver and just throws the ball up in the air. Matty Ice can be rushed if a team has the stones to rush a guy on him but this opens up his 5th option against the 2^nd cover girl which is the key to a gender teams attack.

Questions for Saturday: Will the bright lights of Field #1 put un-do pressure on the Angels? If the game gets chippy will Matty’s Angles get caught in the side show or just play their game? What happens if ACE finds a height advantage and takes advantage of it Saturday? Last time these (2) hooked up The Angels rocked the ACE secondary and scored at will, can they use this same game plan again and make short work of their bitter rival?

ACE 1-1

Ronny K               Matt (Ron’s nephew)             Dorene     Blasé LaDuca

Alivia LaRue       Dan (works with Ron)             Trish

Frank LaRue      Keith (friend of Dorene)          Ramon

Yes I too am bewildered our roster source couldn’t give us the full names of people he slash she plays with. I too am flabbergasted.

Strengths: Ronny K is a field general and one of the greatest leaders of modern times. We all thought he was done but his desire to once again achieve greatness burned so bright he had to come back, he needed to come back. He knew better than anyone that he once again had to face the Angels. ACE has sick speed and they have been around a long time so they are battle tested and students of the game. Blasé LaDuca right now is a mid-level heel he knows better than anyone for him to reach “main event” villain he must do something epic to catch the TSL Universes attention. Blasé LaDuca was out but we are hearing he wants to play this game so bad he has made arrangements and will be in the ACE lineup Saturday.

Weaknesses: When these (2) hooked up in last fall’s Championship they were missing people but ACE’s secondary got torched. ACE must get better production from their #2 girl as she will be under the microscope. Ronny K is a field general like no other but he is not known for his deep ball will this bring the Angels secondary up and force Ronny K to go to the long ball more than he wants to?

Questions for Saturday: Did Blasé LaDuca and his brother really have a wedding last fall to miss the championship or were they afraid to play the Angels? Will ACE get chippy and use psychological warfare to knock the Angels off their game? Is Blasé LaDuca planning something epic to get major “heel heat” to advance his villain character? Will ACE rush a guy? How mad is Ronny K right now at us that we put this game under the microscope and moved it to field #1 and have turned it into another TSL side show spectacle? Is ACE concerned that mathematically speaking every time they get a TD it’s worth (6) but every time Matty’s Angles do its’s worth (8)? Will this force them into going after (8) points more than they normally would?

What the people are saying about this game…….

“Wtf we were supposed to play Uncle Rico’s on Field #1 at 1:00 but we got bumped for this train wreck? I was going to win my first game ever in week #2 this is lame.”

“I so hope Emily pile drives Blasé LaDuca into the grass then drops the bionic elbow out of no where on him. Once she’s done knocking his a$$ out I hope Shari runs out from the tree line and Emily V Shari happens right on Field #1 to a chorus of “holy shit” chants”

“I heard the TSL is negotiating with Joey Batts, Darryl Carr QB Superstar and B’s Brother on a possible one time return for the ceremonial coin flip at 1:00”

“Can the Angels stay sober long enough to be ready to go at 1:00? The later the game is played the worse off they could be physically.”

“I proclaim only Billy Gunn is qualified enough to referee this masterpiece.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I’ve even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years of broadcasting have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we are about to witness here today.”

“Why do they keep calling me Tony.”

Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out……………

DIVISION #1

ANGRY BUFFALO +7 VS PUBLIC ENEMY. Angry Buffalo is at a crossroads. One of two things will happen this week. Either Angry Buffalo will show up and come to play and they will save their season or they get blown out at which point their season will be over. AB does not look like a cohesive unit. PE has looked awesome to date as they have been humming on both sides of the ball. They are battle tested and they are all business so there is no way they take this team lightly. AB has skill all over the field so they can compete. One must ask can the #2 AB girl run with the #2 girl of PE as this could be an interesting matchup to keep your eyes on this week.  I’m guessing AB comes back from the dead and is ready for war. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 1

MARKETING MAYORS VS #XTC +8: #XTC has been a great surprise as they sit at 2-1. Look no further than Tommy Hughes if you want to know why they have been so good. #XTC has looked solid on offense as Hughes has been slinging. MM are an awesome system team that checks all the boxes. They have a solid QB, talented WR’s and a decent female stable. Andy Smith could be the best player in the game today. I see #XTC bringing the fight once again but I just think Marketing Mayors are just too tough to beat on this day.  MARKETING MAYORS BY 7

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH +10 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: This one should be good. ED does not exactly have the best corner in the league so this one should be interesting as Lindsey could get open early and often in this one. I am curious to see if ED has both Chadwick and Farr in the lineup. If they do Bro will not have much open space to work with as both ED DBS are as good as it gets in this league. Bro does not seem to look good when his wrs are locked down man to man. Hootie has 3 tough tests this season to see how they fare in D1. They did not fare well in test #1 on opening day. Test #2 is Eyes Downtown as they will bring some interesting matchup headaches. Hootie must find a way to overcome. Easier said than done.  EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8

TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION VS RACKS AND SACKS +7: RAS are struggling as they need to switch things up. I think they need to stop the long ball stuff and just go back to simple 7-10 yard gains on offense. Their QB is battle tested but they need to quit chasing the pretty play and just go make the simple play. The Alex era has begun on defense. Will TEIM continue to play smothering defense with Alex at the helm or will they force him back to only QB? This is a situation I will be watching closely this week. If I was TEIM I would stay out of the middle and attack the sidelines. I also would try and see if they can get their girls going this week as they have a big girl speed edge. If I was RAS I would overload a side and try and confuse a secondary that has shown it can be exploited. I would motion Radon and see if Tiger moves with him. If Tiger doesn’t then throw to Radon early and often.  I also would hope and pray Alex does not play defense. If he does RAS may tap at halftime just like #XTC did. #AlexshouldhavecoveredMattyMohr TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 6

DIVISION #2

Doesn’t exist just keep reading…….

DIVISION #3

COBBLESTONE +11 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY +4: This used to be billed as “battle of the immortals” but Cobblestone is in rebuilding mode. Make no mistake Cobblestone will be ready for this game as Topper week is big business. Darryl Carr QB Superstar once again took his legend status to another level when he won the Topper Wheel of Hope Spin and then hit on the prizes or punishment wheel. Cobblestone has new faces and will need time to gel but there are few leaders better than Darryl. Cobblestone will struggle for a while but they will be back to form sooner than later. I am hearing quiet rumors one of Team Topper’s females could be injured and out for a while. 1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 10

UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS +7 VS SLYTHERIN THE END ZONE: SITE did not look like a train wreck in week #1. They have improved at QB and they seem to have a better player in their lineup. URTT have had an up and down time so far in D3. Are they ready for the jump? I am still not sure. They got beat by Team Topper but rolled over Cobblestone. SITE is ready to take the next step. Winning a game is new for SITE but I think they have what it takes to win this one.  OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO DO THIS SITE BY 6 YES SITE BY 6

BULLETT CLUB VS UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS +10: BC got beat last week by Morning Wood. I need to be honest that made me happy. I think the football Gods will not be looking favorably on the Club this session. It was nice to see a team stack their roster worse than the Club did last year and win. URTT are a mixed bag. I am not sure if they are ready for the bright lights of this division yet. The Club will roll. Now that CS and URTT are out of the way the Bullet Club schedule will start to get a tad tougher in the next few weeks.  BULLET CLUB BY 14

DMX +7 VS MORNING WOOD: MW has been an up and down roller coaster so far. They beat The Club but they got smoked by the Sticky Bandits. Who shows up this week? DMX looked awesome in week #1 but were missing key people last week and got crushed. This game could be a good one if both teams are at 100%. Make no mistake about it points will be scored early and often in this one. MW will have a huge size edge in this one. The question must be asked though, will the jealousy Mo has for Dave Wilborn and his ability to be super awesome at anything he tries to do ultimately tear this team apart by seasons end? Mo is totally jelly right now, its not Dave’s fault he is a human highlight reel on a football field and at reffing.  MORNING WOOD BY 7

SLTHERIN THAT ENDZONE +8 VS A&A: SITE has a shot at beating Uncle Rico but they aren’t beating A&A. A&A is loaded as they are gunning for the D3 title. They have SITE outmatched and outgunned at every position. Will the fact Matty Ice is embroiled in the game of the decade at 1:00 be on his mind so much that A&A takes SITE for granted and could get upset? I didn’t think so either. SITE will bring the fight but A&A is dialed in right now. I see them throwing up about 40-44 in route to a big win. A&A BY 10

COBBLESTONE +10 VS MORNING WOOD: This one could get ugly early. No not between these two teams. I mean what happens when Dave Wilborn scores 8 TDS this week and Mo scores 0? Will Mo go postal and storm off the field? Cobblestone is in rebuilding mode. They have a new girls who in time will be good but for now they still will be finding their way.  Obviously Cobblestone has the icon edge and the QB edge but Morning Wood has them outgunned everywhere else.  I think Cobblestone will be in store for a very long season but I think they will improve greatly week by week.  MORNING WOOD BY 8

DIVISION #4

ULTIMATE WARRIORS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +3: It’s nice of Indecent Exposure to finally join us. Ultimate Warriors are 1-1 but they have had major attendance issues to date. UW have very talented females who can take a game over. They also have the best uniforms ever created except the Darryl Carr #ICON jersey. IE is a battle tested team that is the definition of balance. They have size, speed, solid girls and a very good QB. This game should be a good one between 2 teams that know each other well.  ULTIAMTE WARRIORS BY 1

CINTAS +3 VS PUCKETT ALL STARS: PAS have it on cruise control as their offense is ho humming along to the tune of 40 points a game. Their girls are very under rated and have very under rated speed. Hell these girls can flat out fly. Cintas are 1-0 and they have the legend Joey Batts at the helm. Batts is a league legend who makes everyone around him better. PAS have a very solid team top to bottom. It all begins and ends at QB for them as their QB can sling as his arm is very strong. Cintas are good but I fear they might not have the speed PAS have and this could cause some issues for them. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 6

TUNE SQUAD +8 NO PUNT INTENDED: If you would have told me pre-season NPI would be 0-2 heading into this game I would not have believed you. Last year they were really good but got shocked in the playoffs now they are struggling big time. TS got beat up pretty good last week. I do not know much about TS except their defense let up 53 points last week and that is not good. I would think they need a few weeks to tighten things up and learn things week after week. NPI will not be a good team to test things out against as NPI is battle tested. I think NPI will bounce back and TS will once again be on the losing end this week. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 10

DIVISION #5

VANDALAY INDUSTRIES VS UFO +8: VI is about where you would think after 2 weeks. They have shown some good moments and bad moments. UFO has been a hot mess after 2 weeks as they have been outscored 53-14. Their defense has not been that bad but they must get more from their offense. They have some decent players they just need to kick their games up a nickel. VI is not overly fast so UFO should be able to find some room on a very giving secondary. If UFO is going to come looking for war this must be the week. VI can be beat by teams that have some speed. UFO has a girl that can go if they can get her the ball. This one could be closer than one would think. VANDALAY INDUSTRIES BY 7

HOPE N RUIN VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN +3: AWDIQ is once again running away with D5 as they have looked awesome so far in 2 big wins. But let’s be honest that does not matter as it is now Hope n Ruin week. These 2 teams are bitter rivals. HNR has stolen both the D5 and D6 trophies from AWDIQ. AWDIQ is terrified of this team. You might see a 0-2 team on one side and a 2-0 team on the other and expect a blow out. Don’t do that, that would be a mistake. AWDIQ knows as well as HNR and I do that a war is coming. This game is always bedlam and I expect nothing less from these 2 this week.  HOPE N RUIN BY 1

WITTER’S VS COME FROM BEHIND +1: CFB could be the best 0-2 in football right now. I too am a tad confused that a team this good is 0-2 but as Denny Green said “you are what your record says you are.” Witter’s has been a pleasant surprise. They have taken the next step and are off to a very nice 1-1 start. They gave Matty’s Angels a war and could easily be 2-0. Their QB has looked very good, their guys continue to take the next step they just need more from their girls. CFB can get some big gains with their girls but Witter’s has been playing some tough D as of late.  WITTER’S BY 3

ACE +6 VS MATTY’S ANGELS: Well we have already gotten into all the X’s and O’s in the beginning of the article. I think this game will better than many would think. I think ACE will come to play. MA looked dialed in on offense and they will be tough to stop. I do not see the same blow out that happened a few seasons ago but I do see the Angels taking this one. ACE can shock them if they find ways to take advantage of the mismatches they will encounter. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 4

ACE +3 VS COME FROM BEHIND: ACE does not usually fare well in this game and let’s be honest they will be part of the “game of the decade” on Saturday so that will be on their minds first and foremost. CFB is solid top to bottom. The only question that remains is who will be QB? If Paul makes his glorious return this game could get ugly but if he doesn’t play I expect a close game. CFB has a huge size edge while ACE has the speed edge. I expect a good one here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 4

CUNNING STUNTS +3 VS HUNG BUFFALO: HB usually struggles early in the season but they have been hot to date. Their offense is clicking and their defense has stood tall after two weeks. CS did not look good last week but their leader was obviously dehydrated. While normal men would have collapsed, died or been driven to the hospital Joey Batts refused to take himself out of the game and continued to push forward like the legend that he is. HB is one tough out in this league. CS will need to be on their game or they could be 1-2 by days end. HUNG BUFFALO BY 1

DIVISION #6

THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS +14 VS THE PRACTICE SQUAD: This one could get ugly early. BPE did not look good on either offense or defense last week now D6’s finest is heading their way. Gordon will be tested this week. The whole world will be watching and waiting. Will this be the week Gordon implodes causing hell, fire and brimstone? Or will Gordon shock the world and keep his cool and composure all season? Rome wasn’t built in a day. BPE has some skill and remember football is supposed to be fun win or lose so just enjoy the day. I see TPS rolling this week but BPE will continue to get better and better week after week. THE PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17

JABRONIES +4 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: Jabronies are off to a nice 1-0 start but I don’t think they have the street cred the top 4 or so teams have so far. They were one series from the playoffs last season and look to build on that this season. TMA are the people’s champion. They have Brent, they have Megan errrr Drunk Meg, they have a Bernal and now they have Rameer. He should fit in nicely with this crew. Ferger knows better than anyone that there is a ton of talent around him and now he must deliver as he will be the man they all look to for success. TMA will take a few more weeks to gel but they have the makings of something special with a very solid roster. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 7

PASSLESS CHAPS +10 VS JABRONIES: Don’t look now but the Jabronies are off to a nice 1-0 and very beatable Passless Chaps are up next. PC have had an interesting season as they have given up roughly 31 points a game but they did shock the D6 favorite Practice Squad last week. PC are struggling on O where they score roughly 14 a game. 14 points will not do it this week. Look for the Jabronies to roll in this one.  JABRONIES BY 7

THE MCKEZNIE AGENCY +1 VS PEACHY PLATOON: This game should be a good one as both       these teams should be near the top of the ranks by seasons end. PP has looked awesome to date as they are off to a nice 2-1 start. Their offense was awesome last week as they have speed to burn on their side of the field. TMA has a battle tested team that is getting help this week. The key to this game will be at QB and that means Ferger will be under the microscope. Ferger must deliver this week for TMA to have a chance. PP might be the “new flavor of the month” but TMA can shock them. They will need to throw everything but the kitchen sink at them to be successful. PEACHY PLATOON BY 3

CELINO SEWER RATS VS TIGHT END ZONES +6: CSR has been scoring at will and rolling teams over but let’s be honest they have yet to be tested. This is a mild test for them. I still think Peachy Platoon, McKenzie Agency and Practice Squad are the threats to this team so the hard games are coming soon. TEZ was an up and down squad last year. They can score and they have won some big games in this league but you really never know who is showing up for them. This game could go either way but until I see otherwise I am going with CSR. I just don’t see a big route for CSR like last week.  CELINO SEWER RATS BY 4

5 Questions for Saturday

1. What’s up with award winning Tommy Hughes? He literally could be your TSL MVP after (2) weeks. He has looked awesome at QB and has #XTC at 2-1 as he has looked 10 years younger. He has looked crisp with a longball that has sizzled.

2. Did Gryffindor miss Brother Nero or did Joey Batts just lose his chance at TSL history and back to back MVP awards? The batman went 0-2 and did not look sharp in the Team Topper loss. Joey got beat on defense and did not look very sharp at QB. One can only wonder if Tony is sad or chuckling right now. The Gryff has a tough game scheduled this week vs Sticky Bandits so they better shake this loss off quickly.

3. Is a defensive controversy looming on Tight Ends in Motion? After the week #1 debacle vs Eyes Downtown, TEIM countered by unleashing Alex at pass rusher. What did this accomplish? Oh I don’t know how about a 23-6 win causing #XTC to tap out. Alex could be the key to saving TEIM’s season. No Stack, No Coniff, No Stoner Dave…no problem Alex has you covered. One still must wonder if Dave Baker was ultra jelly and didn’t put Alex at corner as he knew, like this writer, that Alex would have put a show on for the ages and been named new defensive captain.  #AlexforD1defensiveMVP   #AlexshouldhavecoveredMattyMohr

4. What could AWDIQ be thinking right now? They know as well as I do who is up next. I of course and speaking of their bitter rival Hope N Ruin. For whatever reason AWDIQ folds like a tent when Hope n Ruin comes to town. To answer your next question, yes we will have Rameer stretched and ready to go into the game should HNR need a quick sub on Saturday.

5.  Am I the only one that thinks D3 is starting to get a tad “out of hand” with the stacking of rosters? It is safe to say Morning Wood, A&A, Gryffindor and Bullet Club all could be called out for “over doing it” with some of their roster selections for D3. Looks like the D1 arms race has found its way to D3….GRRRRRREAT.

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on this week is obviously the “game of the decade” Ace vs Matty’s Angels. The second best game on the schedule looks to be Hope N Ruin vs All We Do is Quinn. Hope N Run has had Quinn’s number for the better part of the last 3-4 seasons. Every time it’s on AWDIQ folds like a tent against this team. Will Quinn somehow overcome adversity and finally best the big bad wolf? Hope N Ruin is holding Quinn’s D5 and D6 trophies.

2. The McKenzie Agency will know by days end where they stand in D6 after two tough games vs Peachy Platoon and Jabronies. How awesome was it to see Brent, Andy and Ferger at football Saturday even though they had a bye week. I keep hearing they are about to get a shot in the arm Saturday as the calvary is coming.

3.  Sooooo The BiPolar Express struggled a tad in a surprising 45-0 loss last week. Now they face D6’s finest in the Practice Squad who was shocked Saturday. Am I the only one that thinks TPS will be coming to town pissed off as hell and will be looking to make a statement vs BPE this week? I am fearing a tough game is heading our way.

4.  Hootie and the Brofish did not look good vs Public Enemy but did look good vs Angry Buffalo. So are they good or are they going to struggle? This is the week we find out as the reigning and defending D1 champs Eyes Downtown are up next. I am sure many eyes will be on this game at 12:00 to see if HATBF are for real or not. We will have the answer to our question at 1:00.

5. Puckett All Stars are off to a very nice 2-0 start as their offense has been clicking. They have done a nice job mixing short gains and solid long balls. Last week they burned Kevin Keller with a 25 yd girl fly route. Their QB can sling and their girls are fast. Cintas does not have a ton of team speed but they are a solid squad top to bottom so this match up should be a good one.  

6. Other teams are getting the headlines but Team Topper is off to a very “under the radar” 2-0 start. Team Topper totally dismantled the Gryffindor defense last week. Drew survived his battle with the evil monster Jeremy Burr though he did get torched on the first play of the game. It’s safe to say Tim Dove has been a very “calming” influence on the Team Topper offense. It also must be said that the girls on Team Topper are as good as they have ever been which is helping their success.  Darryl Carr QB Superstar is up next this week in a game that is usually bedlam.

7. I am curious to see how Witter’s does this week. They just lost out to Matty’s Angels in week #1 and rolled over UFO last week. They could be poised for a big season this year. They have a tough test looming this week with Come from Behind. Witter’s QB looked as good as advertised in last weeks big win over UFO.  

8. OK seriously was the ascot thing Sticky Bandits was doing a “thing” or did someone lose a bet or is something going on that we the TSL Universe should know about? I have seen some strange things but that one made me double take. In their defense, the ascots did accent the jerseys well, I am just sayin….

9. I would like to take this time to congratulate the Topper Sports Podcast Team, all contributors and guests for 100 episodes as of this week. Special thanks go out to 5 Star Productions who have been very gracious hosts. It’s crazy to think one silly idea has turned into 100 episodes strong for Topper Sports.

10. Ladies and Gentlemen after much deliberation we have decided to move the Topper’s Wheel of Hope Spin and Prize and Punishment Wheel Spin to 3:00 each Saturday instead of 2:00. The thought being once the day is over every team has a fair chance to be there for the win. Congratulations to our first two winners 3^rd and Schlong and Cobblestone. We will see you at 3:00 for this week’s spin.  

11. *****If there is interest Coach Jay has said he will run a short 1 hour football camp at 9:00 am this week. Please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I can inform Coach Jay you or teammates will be attending. There is no charge we are just trying to help football players get better. Trust me after 1 hour with Coach Jay you will be better whether you know it or not.

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