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“The Kensey’s are like the first family of football but Cousin Steve outlasted them all. He also might be the best Kensey alive. Kid deserves to be your TSL MVP.”

“ I tried to play defense and stop the guy but it was literally impossible. His passes were like magical spirals that just twisted so magically in the wind. It’s like you knew where he was going but you just couldn’t stop him.”

“The three greatest humans of the last 100 years in no particular order must be Mother Theresa of Calcutta, Dr Leo Marvin and Cousin Steve Kensey.”

“Why do they keep calling me Tony.”

Enter Week #2……

If this was a baseball game TSL would have hit a stand up triple on opening day. The stars emerged both on and off the field as fun was had by all. We laughed and we cried and one young lady around 7:00 almost fucked a camaro but I digress……

The Topper’s Wheel of Hope spun and spun until a nice shiny $100 gift card found the hands of one Scott Keller Jr. Jr decided to spin wheel #2 and now 40 yr plan guy gets to play 18 holes of miniature golf with Molly Morgan. See all our stories always have a happy ending. On Saturday Sept 15^th chapter #2 will be written. Will a new star emerge? Has a new love triangle slowly started to come into focus? Why isn’t Joe K on the prize or punishment wheel? BTW does young Topper look like Mathew Broderick or John Cusack, enquiring minds want to know. Well 46 teams took the field of battle. We had very little sub squabbling and everyone seemed to follow the rules. Battle of the Sexes flip cup emerged and it was a site to behold. D3 is a hot mess. Captain Lou, Maggie and JZ found their ways to A&A, Newman is now throwing for SITE and he couldn’t have joined quick enough, Burr and Joey Batts formed the greatest heel tag team in history and Garrett Beesing finally left the #icon to join the evil empire of Bullet Club. No one has a clue what happens next but it will be one hell of a ride.

Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out……………

DIVISION #1

RACKS AND SACKS +3 VS PUBLIC ENEMY: Well RAS vs PE can only mean one thing PE is about to play shorthanded. Guess what PE is once again going to be short handed. If these 2 are both at 100% PE probably wins by 8 but this will not be the case this week. Dave Chelus looked pretty good last week for not playing for a while. He still has a rocket launcher and has a decent supporting cast. It was nice to see Margo back as well. In a few week’s time she should be back to normal and will reclaim her title as one of this games best. RAS should find holes in a very depleted secondary in route to an easy win. RACKS AND SACKS BY 7

MARKETING MAYORS VS RACKS AND SACKS +8. RAS is catching a break as they are playing a    very short handed PE and MM this week. I am hearing MM will be short handed as well this week. I did hear that a solid female player is back with MM and this should make them a lot better. Having Kevin Zak full time should also help as his speed will be welcome. RAS will have a big size edge that they can use to their advantage. Chelus should just stay away from Andy Smith and attack the non Smith side literally all day for them to have a chance.  MARKETING MAYORS BY 1

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH +7 VS ANGRY BUFFALO: HATBF got their first taste of D1 last week and things did not go well. One can’t help but think this could be the Lindsay coming out party. Girl has sick skills and now that Maggie is MIA one would think the HATBF should beat up on the AB girls this week. Even if AB keeps Lindsay in check the #2 girl for HATBF should run circles around the MM girls. AB has some fire power and will need it as the 2’s and 3’s of HATBF are suspect. I think HATBF needs Bro in their secondary as he is their 2^nd best safety. If HATBF slows down the chuck and duck stuff and just simplifies the game plan and goes after 8-10 yard gains they could pull the shocker this week. ANGRY BUFFALO BY 3

#XTC +3 VS ANGRY BUFFALO: Kellie Mazur could be in for a big game this week. Tommy Hughes looked 10 yrs younger last week as he was dealing. This is a big week for Angry Buffalo. Last week could not have gone any worse than it did. Losing a game isn’t a big deal it’s what happened after. If AB circles the wagons and gets back on track they will be fine. There is a slight chance the whole “Maggie thing” could have cost them the room. If that happens AB will be in trouble as it is tough to recover from things when you lose the room. #XTC is coming at a perfect time for a team that must win this week. ANGRY BUFFALO BY 6

TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION VS #XTC +6: TEIM had ED on the ropes but did not use their brains. I keep watching TEIM and keep thinking the same thing, this team is in dire need of a leader. I believe that leaders name is Tiger and it is now time for him to take over and have his team follow. TEIM has talent all over the field and should make short work of #XTC if they use their brains and play smart. It’s time to have a long talk on defense. Your best cover guy gets their best WR and so on and so forth. Sometimes feelings get hurt but winning is more important than hurting feelings.  Zones are great but you need to line your best people up on their best people for zones to be successful. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 4

DIVISION #2

Doesn’t exist just keep reading…….

DIVISION #3

GRYFFINDOR VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY +4: The stars will be out for this one. This is the day Drew gets to see if he truly is one of the divisions best or if he is just another name we will soon forget. Joey Batts and Burr could be the greatest heel tag team in history. Drew must cover Burr and he must win. This will not be easy. Burr is the scary monster that sleeps under Drews bed. Burr is waiting for Drew. Will Drew step up and claim his spot amongst the greatest names in the game today or will the boogey man pop out of Drew’s closet and haunt him in his dreams all season? Oh BTW Brother Nero also plays for Gryffindor and should feast on the #2 cover guy of Team Topper.   GRYFFINDOR BY 7

UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS +6 VS COBBLSETONE: All eyes will be on Darryl Carr QB superstar this session. There are those that do not understand his move to stay in D3. URTT also is in D3 and that makes just as little sense. To be honest both these squads should be battling it out in D4 next session. Darryl Carr QB superstar is easily this league’s best player so maybe he can conjure up the spirits of seasons past and take his team on one more magical ride. Cobblestone is usually one of the toughest teams to beat in their first game. COBBLESTONE BY 3

BULLETT CLUB VS COBBLESTONE +10: We mine as well call this “Beesing Bowl” as that’s all that matters in this one. Garrett Beesing is one of the games finest and did the unthinkable when he left former team Cobblestone to join the evil empire. Easton to Beesing will be a combo that most teams in D3 will have no answer for. I know they threw up 35 last week but one must ask the question, was it really that impressive to beat a Matty Iceless A&A by only 6 last week?  Let’s hope Darryl Carr summons more former NFL TE’s for this game it would be classic. BULLET CLUB BY 11

DMX VS A&A +3: DMX looked right at home in D3 last week as they rolled over the Sticky Nation. A&A was without their leader but only lost by 6. I also am hearing rumors the calvary is coming. A&A could now easily have the best girls in the division. DMX is all about the offense so this one should be a shootout. Johnny Football did a number on his foes last week one can only wonder what he has cooked up this week. Who the heck will show up for A&A this week? If they get everyone this game could be a war. DMX BY 4

MORNING WOOD +3 VS BULLET CLUB: Oh tis one should be good. These two teams are loaded. MW has David “D Dub” Wilborn while The Club counters with Garrett Beesing. Both QBs have rocket launchers, both teams have solid girls. This could be the game of the day. If you like good football this is the game for you. I think BC might have an edge as they played last week while MW will be coming in cold. That could cause some timing and early chemistry issues. I fully expect Wilborn and Beesing to both put on shows with multiple touch downs. This game will be on the defenses. The team that plays better defense wins this game. Bullet Club by 1

DIVISION #4

CINTAS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +7: IE is back and look to build upon a decent season last go round. What else can you say about Cintas? They are led by the greatest player in the game today. Joey Batts is your reigning and defending TSL MVP. He will take the field of battle and I am sure he will once again lead his team to victory as there truly is no mathematical way to stop the man. IE is a very balanced very intelligent team. They should give Cintas all they can handle and more this week.  CINTAS BY 3

TUNE SQUAD +7 VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS: I was not expecting UW to get pummeled but that’s exactly what happened. The good news is that they once again are sporting kick ass uni’s . They look the part now they must play the part. TS is a newb so I reckon they will need a week or two to understand and figure out the game in D4. UW is battle trusted this should carry them to victory. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 7

HK7 VS BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS +3: HK7 lost a shoot out to PAS last week while BSS shocked the world when they dusted up NPI. Could BSS be ready to turn the corner and set their sights on the D4 trophy? I didn’t think so either. HK7 has a very talented QB and a girl that can flat out go. They need more from their supporting cast. BSS is once again at a crossroads. They shocked NPI, if they can shock HK7 this week they could slowly start their way up the ladder. HK7 BY 4

DIVISION #5

UFO +3 VS WITTERS: Both these squads were trying to find a way into the D5 dance last season Witter’s lost a bunch early then went on a tear. UFO was up and down. UFO must get more on offense than 14 as that will not get you into the dance. Witter’s has a very solid QB and they have awesome uniforms. Last time out these 2 played a great game. This time out both will know that if they are fighting for a top 8 spot games like this are huge.  WITTERS BY 6

COME FROM BEHIND +1 VS HUNG BUFFALO: CFB got crushed by Joey Batts and his Cunning Stunts. They threw up 44 on a usually stout defense. HB beat UFO 23-14 in a game that was expected to finish like that. HB is one tough team on both sides of the ball. CFB can be an up and down team, they are battle tested and are prone to have a clunker every now and again. It all begins and ends at QB for CFB. I think HB is ready to take a stab at the title this session.  HUNG BUFFALO BY 6

ACE VS HOPE N RUIN +3: Oh it is so on! This is like Michigan vs Ohio State of D5. These teams are familiar foes as they know each other well. ACE V HNR is always worth the price of admission. Ronny K is back and will want to make a statement this week. HNR added a burner so they have addressed their speed concerns. ACE might be looking towards the game of the decade vs Matty’s Angels soon but they are catching HNR at a great time as HNR always starts slow then slowly gets on track as playoffs quickly approach. I see ACE capitalizing late and taking this one at the end.  ACE BY 1

CUNNING STUNTS +1 VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN: AWDIQ beat up on long time foe ACE Last week. They played tough D and scored enough to win. CS looked awesome last week and they should have as Joey Batts is the greatest leader of modern times. AWDIQ has speed and they are chippy so this one could get out of hand quickly as a few of CS likes to chirp back. AWDIQ has a ton of balance and a lot of speed. I am very interested to see how this one pans out. I am still waiting for AWDIQ to take home the D5 title but they keep underwhelming. This could all change this season. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 3

MATTY’S ANGELS VS VANDALY INDUSTRIES +6: VI shocked HNR and that has this writer and many others surprised. They looked quick, fresh and ready to win some games. MA had a solid week #1 win against Witter’s but Bro was at the helm it is safe to assume Matty will be back. I am curious to see if the older slower legs of VI can keep up with the younger rabbits of MA. It’s almost like MA should just hit VI with quick slants and let their girls chug out the YACS. VI would be smart to ISO the eastern bloc as there is a tremendous height advantage there. I highly doubt the Topper will notice this but he should. A 6’4” guy can’t miss against a 5’7” girl safety. MATTYS ANGELS BY 4

DIVISION #6

PASSLESS CHAPS +13 VS PEACHY PLATOON: PC did not look good last week. They also did not look good the season before. They need more on offense. They need to simplify and just go out there and get 6-8 yards per play. It isn’t tough to run out 5-7 yards and stop then have your QB just throw you the ball. PP played a middle of the road Jabronies and handled themselves well. 20 points is nothing to scoff at. PS is up against it this week. They have 2 tough tests and will need to show well or the season could already be getting out of control for them. PEACHY PLATOON BY 10

PEACHY PLATOON +7 VS TIGHT END ZONES: TEZ is back and looking to build on a very solid season #1. They are a decent team that plays tough on both sides of the ball. The honestly are a very tough team to figure out. Some weeks they light it up and some weeks they get rolled over. PP matched up well against a ho hum Jabronies last week and will once again get a stiff test with this team. The winner of this one should settle into the top 4-5 of D6 while the loser could be in the bottom half of the division. TIGHT END ZONES BY 3

PASSLESS CHAPS +1,234,453 VS PRACTICE SQUAD: Oiy vey this one should be interesting PS was the odds on favorites in D6 then they went out and signed the best player in D6 last session. The rich keep getting richer. PS should have their way with a team that is still finding their way in the TSL. PS needs to keep their heads up and just focus on small gains on offense. If the zone doesn’t work just go to man its easier. PS is dialed in on both sides of the ball so they should have a field day with a team that is not ready for their fire power. Renee should feast on a very unsuspecting female corps of PC.  PRACTICE SQUAD A LOT TO A LITTLE

THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS +6 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: I am so excited for Gordon’s debut. CSR beat up on PS literally and figuratively last week. Let’s hope things don’t get out of hand in this one. BPE is yet another gender team to enter the fray. This time they are led by Gordon who has vowed to bring fun, excitement and a hoot hollering good time to all around him. I give him 3 minutes into the first game before he goes off on either an opponent or a teammate. As for the game CSR is battle tested and BPI is just finding their way CSR should roll in this one.  CELINO SEWER RATS BY 10

5 Questions for Saturday

1. Has Angry Buffalo lost the room? It is not easy when you lose your best girl ”just like that”. Now (2) of the divisions best girls are heading their way. Anything less than 2-0 this week against two teams they should beat easily will be concerning. Nick Sooch will be needed big time this week. Sooch will just need to let it fly against (2) very giving secondaries. AB has a lot of talent on their side of the field they will need it this week.

2. Will Drew show up or throw up this week? Burr is the boogeyman that is living rent free in his head. Drew must play the game of his life against easily the best player he has ever seen. Drew will be tested early and often. Will Drew show up or will he cave under the pressure in one of the biggest games of his career?

3. How long will it be until Gordon goes from happy Gordon to bipolar Gordon? I say it’s in the first drive, 57 seconds in, and he makes one of his girl WR’s cry. If you have a vote please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Maybe we could turn this into a money pool of some sort each week if we get enough interest.

4. The balance of power in D3 could be up for grabs this week. Who ya got TSL Beesing or Wilborn?

5. How did Hope N Ruin go from D5 champ to the #10 team in D5 after just one week? They have a very tough test coming this week with ACE. They better be ready for bedlam.

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on this week is in D3 where A&A and DMX have at it. I am expecting a minimum of 80 points amongst both teams. If you like offense this is the game for you. I think A&A will have a huge edge now that they have fortified their females corps. DMX counters with a QB that can sling and a very solid stable of male WR’s. This has shootout written all over it.

2. All eyes will be on “Beesing Bowl” this week when Cobblestone and Bullet Club meet once again. Now that CS has lost their second best player one can only wonder where Darryl will throw the ball. We are constantly evolving will Darryl be the first QB to start throwing the ball to himself? The only chance Cobblestone has in this one is if Tim Dove is on the clock this week.

3.  TEIM had ED on the ropes last week but did not use their brains. Getting Kyle Coniff was a huge add but if you have a corvette in the garage you don’t throw a cover over it you take it out and put your foot on the gas. I am very curious to see if TEIM learned anything from last week or are they in store for a “sophomore slump.”

4.  ACE and Hope N Ruin re-kindle a very long and storied rivalry. It was nice to see the field General Ronny K back at the helm. HNR looked lost last week but they are notoriously slow starters. Getting the fast guy from the Tammy’s was a huge FA signing. ACE has speed to burn so this one should be good.

5. All we do is Quinn VS Cunning Stunts should be a classic. These two teams are both (2) of the better teams in D5. Quinn is loaded with speed everywhere. CS has some of the best girls in the division and obviously TSL’s best player. I could see this game going either way. I expect some chirping and chippyness in this one.

6. I am beginning to think The Practice Squad is in a league of their own and they are about to run away with D6. They are loaded on both sides of the ball. I just don’t see any team coming even close to stopping them.

7.  I just looked at the D4 basement and I saw 3^rd and Schlong, Ultimate Warriors and No Punt Intended in the bottom 3. It’s true what they say anything can happen on Any Given Saturday. D4 looks to be this league’s finest as I could make a case for 5 or 6 teams to take home the title.

8. I really think SITE will not be 1—8 this session. They actually have a pretty solid team as I expect them to take another step forward this session.  

9 . I was thinking Gryffindor was going to run away with D3 but now I am thinking you could make a case for Bullet Club, A&A, Morning Wood, DMX or Gryffindor. D3 looks to be a loaded division. Topper has to be so mad as he has a solid team but alot of teams went went crazy in FA while Topper stood still.

10.  Don’t forget at 2: 00 we will have another Topper Wheel of Hope Spin. We will be giving away another $100 Angry Buffalo gift certificate and then another chance to spin the ”prize or punishment wheel.” We have also decided to add 2 “free shot for everyone slots” on the wheel. If one of these 2 slots hit we will buy a shot for everyone standing at the bar for the spin (limit 1 hit only on the shot slot per Saturday)

Saturday 2: 00 Topper Wheel of Hope Wheel Spin BE THERE!!!!!!

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