• Print
• Email

 “I don’t make up the rules. I just think them up and write them down.”

Eric Cartman

Enter Week #4. Things are starting to get good. If you play in D1 one must begin to wonder if a “changing of the guard” is slowly taking shape. If you play in D3 I don’t even know what to think anymore. D4 and D5 are awesome and should go right down to the wire each and every week. D6 was fun but one team is cheesing out and has taken some of the luster off a generally tightly contested battle each and every season. This week the stars will be out. Topper plays Matty then Sticky, Mo plays Dave, Cousin Steve plays Katie and Joey Batts has at it with Matty Ice in the match up of the week. Fasten your seat belts boys and girls things are just starting to get good…..

DIVISION #1

TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION VS PUBLIC ENEMY +6. PE was 3-0 vs TEIM last session and there was a specific reason why. They were doing things on both sides of the ball that in a lot of cases confused TEIM and forced them into plays that were not high percentage. If both these teams are at 100% PE is about an 8-10 point favorite unfortunately this week they will not be at 100%. PE will be bringing the B squad to town and this is good news if you are a TEIM fan. TEIM seems to have kicked their game up a nickel after the week #1 debacle. The D has tightened up and they are scoring. I expect this game to be close but TEIM will have more horses than PE will on this day and that will help them carry. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 7

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS #XTC +6: HATBF looked solid last week as they shocked the world. #XTC will bring a whole different set of complications this week. Kellie Mazur is a very good player one of the better females HATBF will see this session. Dubey looks like the game has passed him by and that’s a shame as he has had a tremendous career. If Hughes returns will they go back to chuck and duck and just see what happens? HATBF will need to once again just keep fighting as they could find themselves in the lead near the end and by days end could be looking at 3-1. HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH BY 8

ANGRY BUFFALO +8 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: Beware the trap game. ED had HATBF right where they wanted them and let them off the hook. AB looked awesome on offense last week but struggled on defense. If AB shows up with the same lineup as last week they will probably lose by 7-10 points but if they replace last week’s safety with a new safety then they have a shot. They have a big size edge and they are just as fast as ED. Yes the girls will be an issue like they always are but I see a shootout in this one. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6

DIVISION #2

Doesn’t exist just keep reading…….

DIVISION #3

A&A VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY +7: Team Topper is 3-0 but they did beat a short handed Gryffindor and the 2 worst teams in the division. A&A is a team that is loaded and will pose all kinds of match up headaches for Uncle Topper and Co. This is a game that Team Topper will sorely miss Kelly Liddle. The A&A girls are wicked fast and could get some gains in this one. I see Drew being able to run with one A&A WR but not all of them. The Team Topper secondary will be busy (and under siege all day) as they have speed and size issues they will need to deal with. I hate to say it but by days end Team Topper will be 3-1 as A&A should roll in this one. A&A BY 8

MORNING WOOD VS SLYTHERIN THE END ZONE +8: Don’t look now but SITE is 1-2 and they are actually scoring this session. Newman seems to be the answer at QB. No make no mistake about it SITE will have no issues covering Mo but they will not be able to cover Dave it just ain’t happening. The SITE offense will score some points but I just don’t see how they will be able to run with a team that is this loaded on offense like Morning Wood.  BTW if I had to guess TD counts I would say Dave 3 TDS Mo 0 TDS.  MORNING WOOD BY 10

DMX VS UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS +10: DMX started out so well but has regressed as they now sit at 1-2. This kind of also tells you we have a D3 loaded roster problem. Last session this team was too good for D3 and not good enough for D2 yet now they are 1-2 and in 6^th place. You still think teams aren’t stacking their rosters in D3? URTT were nice enough to jump up to D3 but they aren’t ready. Their offense is good and they are a solid D4 team but they won’t go with this team. DMX needs them some Johnny Football back at WR to get some confidence going. DMX BY 13

A&A VS GRYFFINDOR +3: This one should be good. Joey Batts is literally our best player. Jeremy Burr is still the scary monster that hides under one’s bed. Then there is Tony. OK A&A is loaded on both sides of the ball. They have size, they have speed and they have girls that can go. I am beginning to think it will be ladies night in this one. I think the stars on each side of the field almost cancel each other all out which leave this one up to the girls. If you ask me the A&A girls will beat the Gryffindor girls in this one.   A&A BY 3

STICKY BANDITS +6 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: SB is struggling next up is bitter rival Uncle Topper. Topper always comes to play against the Sticky Nation. Many still wonder how the Topper is still slinging at such a high rate at such an old age. The Topper is showing no signs of slowing down.  Team Topper is throwing up 40 a game and that should be enough to carry against a team that is struggling to score right now. Take Team Topper and bet the under.  1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 7

DIVISION #4

PUCKETT ALL STARS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +6: If you like by the long ball you can also die by the long ball. PAS unfortunately learned this lesson last week as they were out gunned against Joey Batts and Co. PAS will need to bring it this week as a very talented, very balanced team in IE is up next. IE has one of the best players in D4 on their squad. They have a solid QB, decent girls and they check all the boxes. PAS likes to run and gun but with the weather starting to get a tad choppy it might be time to change their way of thinking. PAS should bounce back but I see a good game looming in this one. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 4

CINTAS +3 VS BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS +8: BSS is having a BSS type season as they sit at 2-2  up next is the big bad wolf. Cintas are 2-0 and they have looked solid. I could go on and on for an hour about how good Joey Batts is and how this team would be 0-4 right now without him even though they have only played 2 games. BSS are scoring 35 a game and that is pretty good so Cintas better be ready to run this week. Cintas are lights out on defense as they have put 2 very good offenses to sleep so far. I see Cintas rolling yet again a big win.  CINTAS BY 7

TUNE SQUAD +8 HK7: Tune Squad has not looked very impressive on defense and one of D4’s finest is heading their way. TS still needs time to figure out the game in D4. HK7 has a very solid QB, a very good female player and a solid but unspectacular supporting cast. I fear one of those “a lot to a little games” looming this week. Tune Squad will take their lumps for a few more weeks then eventually they will start understanding this game and should show a marked improvement.   HK7 BY 11

NO PUNT INTENDED VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +3: This one should be good. NPI is 0-2 and that is shocking as they are way better than that. IE is 0-1 and they need to catch up. IE is very balanced and very rarely has a bad game so NPI will need to bring it. NPI has speed on both sides of the ball and can take advantage of a team that is not as fast as they are. IE has a gamer who can make some plays for IE in this one. I am so cheering for IE in this one as a 0-3 NPI would be shocking but I just don’t see NPI losing to a team they should carry against. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 4

ULTIMATE WARRIORS VS NO PUNT INTENDED +6: UW have killer new unis and are killing it on offense. NPI is 0-2 and look like a hot mess. UW under a different name are your reigning and defending D4 champs. They can score some points but we all know UW can be exploited over the top by a fast team right up the middle. NPI will need to play smart and attack the deep middle when the opportunity present itself. NPI is up against it this week as they have 2 tough tests and they must split at the very least to get back in the race.  ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 6

3^RD AND SCHLONG +7 VS STEVE’S CUZ’INS: This is the game to be watching. The Keller Nation is a walking Soap Opera right now as they are in the middle of some of this league’s biggest storylines. We have a love triangle, we have a love square and now we have a love hexagon. I am literally confused at this point. After all these soap operas 3AS is 0-2 and MUST win this game. SCI are really good as they boast one of the most under-rated QBs in the game today. Their supporting cast is battle tested as they can bring the thunder this week. Katie Keller was money last session but one must now wonder if the soap operas are just taking their toll on her. I know what you are thinking and I agree if she just married 40 yr plan guy we could just move on to the wedding and not worry about the drama. But we and she loves the drama….. STEVE CUZ’INS BY 8

DIVISION #5

ACE VS UFO +8: ACE is reeling and couldn’t be happier to see UFO on this week’s schedule. ACE has skill all over the field they just are not using it properly. They can run with the Angels but their plan was just fatally flawed. UFO is 0-3 and is struggling to score. I see UFO once again having scoring problems against a team that will be coming to town hopping mad. Look for ACE to score early and often as they must win this game and win big to restore their shattered confidence. ACE BY 10

HUNG BUFFALO +8 VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN: AWDIQ has it on cruise control as usual. They even survived HNR last week though HNR was short handed. Next up is a tough Hung Buffalo squad who comes to town at 2-1. They have looked solid on offense and have played smothering defense. AWDIQ has a big speed edge they should use to their advantage this week. I see a decent one here I just don’t see HB running with the youngsters of AWDIQ. AWDIQ could finally be due.  ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 9

VANDALAY INDUSTRIES +6 VS COME FROM BEHIND: CFB looked awful after 2 games then Paul made his glorious return and BOOM CFB is now 2-2 and right back in the race. This game should be a good one. VI can score but do they have the legs to run with some of the burners on CFB? I don’t think so either.  Let’s be honest, there really is only one question to ask who you got the Topper QB’d team or the Paul QB’d team? Survey says all 100 people voted Paul QB’d team hell even Topper voted for Paul. COME FROM BEHIND BY 6

WITTER’S +7 VS CUNNING STUNTS: Witter’s is in the 7 hole as of right now at 1-2 and they have been up and down. Their offense is struggling a tad and their defense has been good and bad. They obviously need to get to the Coach Jay football camp this Saturday at 10am. This is imperative. I can only imagine how angry a certain captain of Witter’s is right now knowing that the greatest TSLer of all time, I of course am speaking of Joey Batts, is coming to town.  CS has been bombs away on O but they can tend to let points up on defense. Witter’s has a shot in this one but they will need to bring their A game. CUNNING STUNTS BY 3

MATTY’S ANGELS VS HOPE N RUIN +6: MA was folding money last week as they literally trampled ACE. They killed them on offense and played decent defense. They are averaging like 44 a game when you do that you are going to win a lot of ball games. HNR might be the champs but they have not started out so hot as they are now 0-3. Yes they have had attendance issues but they need more from an offense that is struggling. They are heading to a shootout with an offense that scores at will. They might be heading to a gun fight with a sling shot in their hands. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 8

DIVISION #6

CELINO SEWER RATS VS THE PRACTICE SQUAD +3: CSR seem to be back on top this session. Their offense has been clicking and their defense has been lights out. TPS is still a super solid team in D6 but their offense seems to have regressed a tad. It is quite apparent this game will be a battle of 2 of the top 3 teams in the division. CSR has run over everything TSL has trotted in front of them. I expect a close game here but I am not sold yet on the TPS offense. TPS will have a big girl edge but can their offense keep up with CSR, that is the question of the day. CELINO SEWER RATS BY 4

TIGHT END ZONES +8 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: TMA looked good and is benefiting from Coach Jay and his football camp techniques which makes them instantly better. TEZ is 0-2 and their problems begin and end on defense as they are giving up almost 40 a game. TMA needs a slump buster and TEZ should be it. TMA is loaded with all kinds of skill players they just need to get everyone on the same page and they too should score at least 30. TEZ has shocked teams in D6 before so this game will not be a cake walk. For TMA to get back in the hunt they need to win this game and win it big. I think they will. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 8

5 Questions for Saturday

1. For the first time in a very long while Eyes Downtown will be feeling some pressure, how will they react after their stunning loss to HATBF last week? Angry Buffalo has been improving week after week they could surprise this week.

2. If Hope N Ruin loses to Matty’s Angels and falls to 0-4 will they still make the playoffs or are they in  a whole heap of trouble? Your guess is as good as mine.

3. Is Practice Squad always destined to be a D6 also ran or will they finally fix their offensive woes and beat up on Celino Sewer Rats? They are very talented but must get more from their offense. CSR are no slouch so this game should be a good one. The winner of this one will no doubt be the team that should face Peachy Platoon in the D6 finals.

4.  3 straight weeks 3 straight prizes. When are we going to spin the prize or punishment wheel and get a punishment? Inquiring minds want to know.

5.  How much pressure is No Punt Intended feeling right now? They are off to a 0-2 start and have 2 tough games with Indecent Exposure and Ultimate Warriors looming. At this rate with NPI be facing 3AS in the Super Bowl or Toilet Bowl?

10ish Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on is in D3 where (2) of our biggest stars have at it when A&A has at it with Gryffindor. Matty Ice vs Joey Batts is a main event level feud. Both guys are not only at the top of their division but each could easily be your TSL MVP this session. This is the week Jeremy Burr must deliver for the Gryff to have a chance. The A&A girls are wicked fast and could take this game over.

2. I was expecting more from the Sticky Bandits offense to date. 69 points through 3 games is not what they are used to. This team still boasts a top end QB and has a ton of smart savvy vets. Team Topper is up next week. The good news is SB will make the playoffs as everyone but Cobblestone and Uncle Rico will be safe but a loss to Topper might hurt their confidence.

3.  3^rd and Schlong has not looked good in 2 early season losses to both Puckett All Stars and Cintas. Now a very good Steve’s Cuz’ins is up next. With Katie Keller, 40 Year Plan Guy and now SR all embroiled in the Greatest TSL Love Hexagon of all times will they have time to save their season?

4. I had a chance to read both The Mentalist and View from the Top. Great work buddy you hit 2 doubles. Call me when you can string 10 or 11 solid articles in a row. I’ll start the clock on how long it takes before “that” writer joins the like of Zoltar, the Toppers Power Couple and Lord knows who else who have come and gone. 

5.  I don’t think there is a team in this league that needed a bye week more than Racks and Sacks. Sometimes its good to just get away a week and re-charge the battery. While re-charging the battery it would also be a good time to re-educate yourself with the rule book as well.

6. Ladies and Gentlemen if you could please help us on this issue it would be greatly appreciated. Our refs are doing the best job they can do. I for one think the refs have been doing a great job. Rameer has done a great job scheduling and making sure all refs are doing their best with our rule books and making sure games are starting and ending on time. With that being said, it has been known since this league started that refs are paid $20 by each team per game. This is nothing new. Please have your money ready to give to the refs at the coin flip. I am hearing in some cases that players are getting lazy and “forgetting” and this is starting to become an issue with some officials. Please be advised we are letting our refs know that if they aren’t getting paid pre-game we will not start games and if it is still an issue we will just hand out forfeit losses. You have 8-10 people on your team this should not be an issue. For teams that are following procedure thank you to those that aren’t please improve we are not asking a lot here.

7. Is ACE ready to be upset? Obviously they did not win the “Game of the Decade.” Will this loss be something they can recover from or are they heading for disaster? UFO has struggled mightily in D5 most notably on offense. ACE got run over last week for 53 points. If UFO squeaks out the win ACE could be in trouble the rest of the season. I will watching this game very closely this week.

8. The question I am hearing most this week is simply will the Topper Sports/Game On Sports Football Tournament actually become a reality? As of right now I can’t answer that as we are waiting for some form of answer from Game On Sports. My hope is that this definitely becomes a reality.

9.  I wonder if JZ is about to make good on his “attempt” to make a bet in week #1 where he claimed that he could easily cover Jeremy Burr all day and basically shut him down. I see Gryffindor on the schedule this week for A&A. I, like the TSL Universe, would love to see JZ V Jeremy Burr this week 1 on 1.

10. I got to thinking do you think The Ultimate Warriors of D4 and “playboy” Joe Russell know each other exist? It almost seems like a no brainer than JR should be the new leader of UW, hell he’s dressed just as money as UW each week. Assuming Stegs joins 3AS next session could JR be heading for UW?

11. ***** Coach Jay has said he will run a short 1 hour football camp at 9:00 am this week. Please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I can inform Coach Jay you or teammates will be attending. There is no charge we are just trying to help football players get better. Trust me after 1 hour with Coach Jay you will be better whether you know it or not.

KATIE KELLER+ D1 GUY + 40 YEAR PLAN GUY X MOLLY MORGAN+ SR /MYSTERY WOMAN/TEAM TOPPER GIRL=NIIIIIIIIICE

LOVE HEXAGONS RUUUUUUUUUUUULE

• Prev
• Next