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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 29 May 2024
- Created: 29 May 2024
- Hits: 753
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
If we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times... rankin' QBs ain't easy! Our Committee often disagrees amongst itself, and we argue about why someone should be ranked higher or lower. This week we've decided to show you the positive spin on each of these QBs and tell you why some of our members believed they deserved to be ranked HIGHER.
Enjoy!
#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 34-21
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's number one, he can NOT be ranked higher!
#2 Joey Batts - Eyes Uptown / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 42-37 (Eyes Uptown)
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has more points per game than any other QB in the highest division, AND more points per game than any other QB in the fourth division!
#3 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Uptown 42-37
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has led his team to the best record in D1 despite preseason odds from the Godfather that they would finish in third place!
#4 Jordan Lawson - Mavericks
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has scored 84 more points than the quarterback ranked above him in the same number of games (yes, in a lower division)!
#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 34-21
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He deserves credit for having the biggest balls in the game, taking on D1 opponents every week when other teams would have dropped to D2 in the face of that competition!
#6 Andy Strug - The Malones
Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 60-30
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has scored 46, 48, 54 and 60 points in his four games so far this season! No one is CLOSE to that.
#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 39-18
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's got his team in second place after losing the best girl in the League... and even though this doesn't count for QB rankings, he's by FAR the best defensive player in the charts so far!
#8 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 39-18
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's one win away (against a winless team) from locking up the #2 seed in the insanely competitive D2 (which would put him one spot ABOVE the QB ranked ahead of him)!
#9 David Eickhoff - Freeballers
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His team sneakily has the second best point differential in D2 (and the ONLY positive team besides Mavericks) which makes them POSSIBLY the second best team in D2! Yes, we know QBs have nothing to do with points against, but it's still worth pointing out that this is a solid team!
#10 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Puckett All-Stars 47-46
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: We have eyes, and he's obviously a better passer than anyone else in this League! Imagine what CTT could do if they ever figured out how to play defense...
#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: There are ten QBs ranked above him, and nine of them have all lost a game so far... which Frank hasn't! Doesn't winning and losing mean anything?
#12 Theo Russell - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Lost to Puckett All-Stars 47-46
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His team jumped up two divisions, and yet they have only ONE loss by more than one score! You're really going to hold a 47-46 loss against the QB???
#13 Damien Keller - Keller Whales
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's 3-1, and the QB ranked directly above him is 0-5! Divisions matter, but so does winning.
#14 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week: Lost to Buffalo Vice 39-38
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: Half his team seems brand new to football and he's still scoring over 30+ PPG! Some teams are stacking their rosters with stars, while Jabronies are building their own.
#15 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His full team rarely shows up (or shows up limping or hungover or both) and it usually falls on him to bail them out!
#16 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week: Beat Jabronies 39-38, lost to Bullet Club 28-22
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's got Vice smack in the middle of the D3 standings, in their first session after moving up from D4! Aren't QBs supposed to struggle when they move up?
#17 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad / Tater Tots
Last Week: Lost to the Malones 60-30 (Squad), beat Vaspian 40-7 (Tots)
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: Tater Tots were a middle of the pack D5 team before B made them immediate D4 contenders, and Practice Squad were what, D5 before B pushed them all the way up to D2 (someone fact check us there)? The man elevates his team every season!
#18 Dylan Jaloza - Bullet Club
Last Week: Beat Buffalo Vice 28-22
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's a couple lucky bounces away from Bullet Club being 3-0 in their last few games! They almost beat Wanderers, remember...
#19 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated, Back That Pass Up
Last Week: Beat Creekers 43-34 (PWI), lost to Pit Harade 36-16 (BTPU)
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has PWI at second place in D4, and he probably played every one of those games while drunk! He also has BTPU at .500 right now, a season after they finished the regular season 1-8.
#20 Mitchell Bennett - Creekers
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He won D5 and then immediately led Creekers to a winning record (so far) in D4!
#21 Ethan Herbold - Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: His team has the worst defense of any team considered a "contender" in D4 (32.4 PPG Allowed), which puts all the pressure on Ethan to bail them out!
#22 Kelly Kane - GUCCI
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: She's one of only five undefeated QBs, she's carrying the torch for female QBs everywhere, she's freakin' awesome... she should be in the Top Twenty at LEAST!
#23 Paul LoVullo - Come From Behind
Last Week: Beat Not So Sticky 16-7
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He has the strongest arm in the League (it should be legally classified as "a cannon") and his team is scoring like 50 PPG when Paul plays (in decent weather only!)
#24 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Beat TMA 28-14
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He'd undefeated and one of only four teams scoring 40+ PPG! It almost feels like the Power Rankers (and Sentinel, and Godfather, and Podcast) are holding it against him for dropping down to D5...
#25 Kyle Conniff - PowerPuff Girls
Last Week: Did Not Play
Should Be Ranked Higher Because: He's playing his first session as the QB1 of all girls team so his wins/stats aren't going to match many of the QBs above him... but anyone who watches this League knows he's a top fifteen QB easy!
Fancy Statistics Section
This doesn't really count as "fancy statistics"... but have you ever wondered what the TSL would look like if divisions were all the same size? D1 and D2 are typically smaller than the others because, frankly, teams don't want to play against the top teams. But what if they HAD to? There are 45 teams in the League excluding Breakfast Club. If we sorted them into six divisions of 7 or 8 teams based on their current records, ignoring what division they signed up for, would this make the League better or worse? Better for some, worse for others we suppose... here's what it would look like:
Honestly? These look pretty competitive! The "worst" team in each division would have a chance against the "best".
And just for fun, here's what it would look like if we randomized divisions alphabetically:
LOOK AT DIVISION C-G!!! Poor Dogg Pound... they'd be stuck in a division with seven absolute killers. We assume division champs would be Can't Touch This, Eyes Up or Downtown, Mavericks, Puckett All-Stars, Sticky Bandits and the Untouchaballs, but you never know...
**
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! As we said above, we don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
What's YOUR ranking?
