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The Godfather - Week 6
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- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Thursday, 11 October 2018 11:28
- Published: Thursday, 11 October 2018 11:28
- Written by Super User
- Hits: 8752
“Luck is what you have left over after you give 100%”
Langston Coleman
Welcome to Topper Sports League “The Soap Opera” Episode #6. Just in case you haven’t been watching lately let’s catch up on some of our storylines shall we……
Katie Keller and 40 Year Plan Guy still have hope as Molly Morgan and 40YPG still have NOT I repeat NOT gone mini golfing. Why? Great question, maybe 40YPG loves Katie Keller or maybe she pleaded with him not to…..we may never know but there…still….is…hope… these 2 love birds live happily ever after. So the Gryff is struggling and everyone points to “glasses” as the cause. The reports I have received tell me “glasses” is the cause of like 2-3 TDS against a week. That and Tony is lazy on defense and doesn’t run as hard as Burr. MW can’t get their QB to the fields as they have been run over the last few weeks on defense. Team Toper crushed Bullet Club and made them look really bad. It’s looking like Jeff Easton is struggling and JJ could be slowing down as she hasn’t been as dominant as in session’s past. Bobby beat Turner AGAIN as we have yet to see a Delecki sighting or a Shari sighting now that I think about it. Speaking of Turner and Co up 22-7 at half last week against TEIM” Dr B” took to his soap box and gave one of the most “magical halftime speeches in league history” which propelled TEIM to a shocking 37-36 victory. Next up is their grudge match with Hootie and the Bro Fish. Peachy Platoon keeps winning, Hope N Ruin and NPI keep losing. Matty’s Angels are up against it this week but we all know the biggest game in D5 is “coming soon”. We found out HK7 is more than a “good QB, 1 good guy and 1 good girl.” We also learned that words can hurt and TSL applauds it’s journalists on “going into the trenches” and into “hostile territory” for sideline interviews. I keep hearing Joe K is going crazy trying to find out who the Mentalist is. Gordon has stood tall and has not gone “bi-polar” to date and probably won’t all session. Darryl Carr QB Superstar continues to fight as we hear he is having none of this “relegation” talk. TSL is working on “cardboard cut out” Dave Baker and I am hearing rumors that the league will once again discuss rules and ideas to improve rosters in the off season.
Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out shall we……..
DIVISION #1
ANGRY BUFFALO +7 VS RACKS AND SACKS: There was rumor circulating that Nick Sooch might be gone for the season. If this is true AB is in big trouble. RAS are struggling mightily right now. If Sooch is out I predict an old fashioned “defensive battle.“ Both teams will go head to head, shot for shot in an old school defensive battle that will end Racks and Sacks 8 Angry Buffalo 7. QB is the most important position. I wonder if one or both of these teams should install the wishbone offense and just run it. Oh snap it just dawned on me what if Ricky Austin is the emergency QB on the AB roster that would be a magical ending to this story. RICKY=RATINGS!!!! RACKS AND SACKS BY 1 If Ricky plays Angry Buffalo by 36
MARKETING MAYORS +3 VS PUBLIC ENEMY: My gut is saying though they lost 2 last week that MM will play their best game of the season. They know better than anyone they still have a shot but if they fall to 3-3 it’s over. PE has been on fire this session but they are a rhythm and timing offense that is coming off a bye week. PE never plays good after a bye week as it messes up their rhythm and causes issues. I expect an all out war that will be won late by MM as they must find a way to take this game. MARKETING MAYORS BY 1
#XTC +10 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: ED truly is one of the best teams in the history of this game. They have literally been showing up to the fields week after week with the B squad and missing players yet after 4 weeks they are 3-1. #XTC is a decent bunch but they just need QB stability. Hughes was on fire then he crashed into a wall. #XTC has size and they have speed they just are missing “it.” This is another reason why ED will come to town probably short handed again but will still walk away with a 10-13 point victory. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11
HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION “NO LINE”: This one should be good. I am curious to see how each attacks the other. TEIM can’t rush Coniff as I am not so sure Emily can run with Lindsay. I would make sure to watch Derreck wherever he goes if you are TEIM as he can jump into the sky. If I was TEIM I would keep my eye on who is playing safety for HATBF as their secondary can be exploited. This game should have all kinds of storylines and matchup headaches on each side. These teams know each other so well. Eric Kleckler knows the TEIM playbook but TEIM knows Eric Kleckler. This game should be a back and forth classic that might not be decided at all. In the end I am curious to see how TEIM does when the long ball goes up and I am very curious to see how HATBF does with their #3 on TEIM’s #3 as this is where they are most vulnerable. I PREDICT A TIE
DIVISION #3
UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS +13 VS GRYFFINDOR: I’m thinking right about now Uncle Rico’s wishes they could hop back into their time machine and go back to the day Topper asked them to go to D3 so they could say HELL NO. Gryffindor probably wins this game by 30 but I am guessing “glasses” will be back so that drops 20 points off the line right away. Assuming “glasses” gets beat for 4 TDS and joey Batts throws 6-8 TDS this game could be a tad closer than one would think. BTW every week there is a “coin flip.” Why doesn’t Tony just go to each coin flip and meet a new friend each week at the coin flip? He needs 6 more friends and he has like 6 more games left. It seems like an easy solution….right? GRYFFINDOR BY 10
SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE VS COBBLESTONE +7: Can someone I mean anyone call or text Darryl Carr QB Superstar and make sure he has 2 girls this week. If not please help him. I know Darryl Carr QB Superstar is an international man of mystery and in most cases just has to nudge the 1 -4 women he wakes up next to each morning and ask one or all 4 of them to play but for some weird reason he isn’t. Is he sad? Is he trying to teach TSL or his team some life lesson none of us are understanding? SITE is way better than last year and they actually could make the playoffs and not fall flat on their faces. They have looked kinda sorta good in spurts here and there. SITE will win this game big and I will have to spend my Saturday afternoon once again explaining to people that you just don’t walk up to Darryl Carr and tell him Cobblestone is relegated to D4. It doesn’t work like that. SITE BY 8
SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE VS STICKY BANDITS +4: In theory the winner of this game is pretty much guaranteed a playoff spot while the loser will have some work to do the next few weeks. SB are the peoples champions so we are cheering for them but SITE has had a few tough sessions so we want them to win too. It appears we have yet to find a “good Dave Baker” pic as the ones provided have been too dark. So we will take one Saturday so the cardboard cutouts will be ready for Oct 20. I then predict a Sticky Bandit winning streak will begin. Under cardboard cut out Dave Bakers leadership I predict the Sticky Nation will win out. They won’t win this week though, but they could, but they won’t, or they will. SITE BY 3
DMX +6 VS BULLET CLUB: Team Topper exposed a lot of flaws in the Bullet Club defense last week. Let’s see if the Club goes into correction mode or are they destined to make the same mistakes they have been making for weeks? DMX right now is 3-2 but they have not been overly impressive. I for sure thought they would take D3 over as they are the only carry over from last year’s D2. They are offense all day every day but they have to play better defense. BC is struggling on both sides of the ball and needs a big win this week. If it was me I would start by moving your safeties up 3 yards. As the weather gets cruddier it tougher to make the long throws so take the short throws away from your opponents. Sometimes the easy fixes are the best fixes. BULLET CLUB BY 3
STICKY BANDITS +8 VS MORNING WOOD: On paper MW should beat Sticky but let’s be honest we just don’t know who is or isn’t playing for MW. If the MW QB doesn’t show this is bad as it forces MW to move their best WR to QB. Now your best player is playing QB and not WR which totally changes the way defenses attack you. BTW if your QB is gone they do have a QB sub list that would help. Sticky needs some wins and they need them fast. MW is a good team but no one ever truly knows who is coming and going. If MW is at 100% they win this big but if not anything can happen. Regardless of who is or isn’t playing QB just throw Mo the damn ball wouldya? MORNING WOOD BY 7
DIVISION #4
BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +7: I am a tad surprised BSS is 3-2 right now. They have looked very good on offense and are playing just enough defense to win some football games. I expect a very close very solid football game between 2 very decent squads. Both these teams play solid mistake free football. They don’t get too crazy and don’t make stupid throws. They don’t gamble and play dumb. This will be a game of execution. Both these squads are very evenly matched so this should be a game worth watching. My gut says BSS is finally, after all this time, poised to take another step forward as they continue their quest for a D4 title. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 6
PUCKETT ALL STARS VS STEVE’S CUZ’INS +8: Cousin Steve looked so good after week #1 but totally laid an egg a week later. He must get up off the mat and continue to throw magical spirals in the air to his WR’S. PAS are really good. They are quick, they are smart and they have a QB that can throw gas so SC better be ready to go. If this game goes the track meet route I fear PAS have a few more runners than SC. SC will get some gains here and there I just don’t see them surviving a track meet this week. Beware the longball Cousin Steve. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 7
3RD AND SCHLONG +7 VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS: Don’t look now but 3AS is 2-3 and Katie Keller’s kryptonite is heading her way this week. Last time the “Queen Bee” went head to head with Katie Keller Sam took her to school. In the offseason Katie Keller has been training and from what I hear incorporating special “Eastern European” training techniques in anticipation of this battle. 3AS must win this game but UW will be coming to town hopping mad as HK7 laid the smacekth downeth on them last week. I expect hell, fire and brimstone in this game. I for one can’t wait to see who wins Sam vs Katie Keller Round #2. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 7
TUNE SQUAD +10 VS INDECENT EXPOSURE: Tune Squad has shown flashes here and there but they just seem a tad out of their element as they need more time to gel and learn the TSL game. I see some skill on their sideline they just need time. IE is a journeyman team that has been there and done that. They are balanced and should take this one rather easily. IE doesn’t make a ton of mistakes so they should come in and just play solid football in route to a big win this week. INDECENT EXPOSURE BY 11
HK7 VS NO PUNT INTENDED +9: Beware the trap game. Yes, NPI is 0-4 and they are only scoring like 21 a game while HK7 is scoring like 47 a game. I know its easy to say HK7 will crush NPI but let us not forget that NPI will know better than anyone that if they lose this game they probably miss the playoffs. NPI has no choice but to come with supreme effort this week. HK7 has been dialed in on both sides of the ball. They took UW to school last week as they just played solid smart football. I don’t see much glitz or glam on the HK7 sideline I just see a solid football team playing a team game. NPI will come with the thunder but HK7 probably has a bit too much offense for NPI to handle. HK7 BY 10
TUNE SQUAD +13 VS CINTAS: Tune Squad gets to meet the Batman this week. There are those that will wonder if Joey Batts challenges Tune Squad to play him 1 on 6 for the first drive. Cintas is 2-1 and they are looking solid as usual. Their QB is super talented and brilliant and really smart and really good and really really really awesome. Tune Squad shocked a few folks as their QB seems to have a tremendous arm they just kept going long too much. If I was Tune Squad I would just slow the game down and go after simple 6-10 yard throws then build from there. Cinta’s needs this game bad so I am sure they will not be looking past this team this week. CINTAS BY 11
DIVISION #5
ACE +8 VS CUNNING STUNTS: Oh noooo I am not going down that rabbit hole again. ACE right now must be having nightmares as another gender team is heading straight for them. This time Joey Batts is heading to town. ACE got smoked by the Angels as their second girl could not keep up with the #5 Angel. It is fair to ask how will the 2nd girl of ACE do against the 5th girl of the Stunts? I do not think that well either. The Stunts will not go as long as the Angels did but they are a precision team based on rhythm and flow. Their offense will dink and dunk ACE all over the field. I fear our friends at ACE are once again in for a long day. CUNNING STUNTS BY 10
HOPE N RUIN +7 VS COME FROM BEHIND: Let’s just say it like it is Hope N Ruin’s season is on the line this week. HNR is 0-4 and one more loss could kill them as they will struggle to make the playoffs. CFB is a battle tested vet savvy squad that has been there and done that. They are solid top to bottom. HNR will need to play smothering D and hope and pray they get an early break or an early pic in their favor. CFB is playing to win but HNR will be playing for their playoff lives. I am curious to see if HNR answers the bell and comes to play this week. COME FROM BEHIND BY 6
ALL WE DO IS QUINN +3 VS MATTY’S ANGELS: This one should be good between 2 of the best teams in D5. MA are known for their bombs away offense that is literally running over every defense in D5 to the tune of 46 points a game. AWDIQ plays solid offense but they are playing stifling defense these days as they are holding opponents to only 19 a game. This is your classic O vs D matchup. If memory serves me right there is some “bad blood” on both sides from a few seasons ago so this should be a good one. I would think these 2 should get a really good look at each other as there is a very good chance they will be seeing each other again real soon. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 6
UFO +10 VS MATTY’S ANGELS: I have a feeling the Angels will be attacking the middle of the field early and often in this one. UFO needs to “stay home” and play disciplined defense or the Angels offense will light them up like a Christmas tree. On offense UFO has some size mismatches they can take advantage of if they ISO their heavies against the shorter safeties of MA. On paper this looks like a blow out but if they play smart UFO can stay in this game. MATTYS ANGELS BY 11
WITTER’S +8 VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN: Witter’s is 2-3 and got a very big win against Hung Buffalo last week. Witter’s showed tough vs Matty’s Angels next up is another tough D5 test. If Witter’s wants to know if they are a contender or pretender this is the week they find out. AWDIQ is very quick and very talented on both sides of the ball. If I were Witter’s I would move the zone up to try and stop the quick slants. AWDIQ seems like they like to throw quick and run out the yards instead of just throwing bombs away. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 7
DIVISION #6
TIGHT END ZONES VS PASSLESS CHAPS +1: The Chaps are struggling as their defense is just getting run over. If George Costanza has taught us anything, sometimes it is right to completely change the way you do things. If I was PC I would do a 180 from what you do on a weekly basis. Change it all up. Change your offense and change your defense. TEZ is 0-3 and they just haven’t looked good either. This could be the worst game on this week’s schedule. Both teams are capable of so much more and I am sure in time they will improve but it can’t get much worse. The winner will gain some much needed confidence while the loser will be done like dinner. The fun part is we don’t know which team will win or which team will lose. PASSLESS CHAPS BY 3
THE MCKENZIE AGENCY VS BIPOLAR EXPRESS +7: I am hearing quiet rumbles Ferger might be MIA this week. That begs the question if the TMA leader is gone who gets to throw? Will it be Rameer? Will it be Andy? Will it be Brent? Will it be B’s Brother? Anything is possible in this crazy league. BPE is struggling but they are new so that can be expected. Gordon to date has not mamed, killed or even really yelled at anyone so he is doing great and has beaten every expectation and every temper pool I can think of. BPE needs a win and they need it soon. I just don’t think this will be the week. Even if the rumors are true and Ferger is away this week TMA should have enough to hold down the fort while he is gone. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 7
CELINO SEWER RATS +8 VS PEACHY PLATOON: It appears its #1 vs #2 time though the Practice Squad may not agree with that statement. PP has been dialed in as they have dismantled like pretty much everyone TSL has put in front of them. CSR have looked good themselves as they have won some big games so far this season. Both teams are solid on both offense and defense. In games like this I look to see which team has more “difference makers.” If I use that equation the answer is simply “Peachy Platoon” so I see them pulling away late in this one. PEACHY PLATOON BY 7
5 Questions for Saturday
1. Did Team Topper draw up the blue print to beat Bullet Club and are more teams about to follow suit? Team Topper just threw underneath the coverage and dinked and dunked their way to a big win. The BC safeties were way too deep and they got exploited over and over and over again. If I was DMX I would look into what Topper did. DMX usually goes the longball route but this is the wrong team to try that with if you ask me.
2. By days end could SITE finally have a winning record? I know it seems impossible but (2) very winnable games are on the horizon. For the first time in forever SITE is flirting with a “winning” record. Cobblestone and Sticky Bandits both play suspect defense and SITE has been very good on offense to date. If SITE can keep scoring points at the clip they are averaging they could take both these games.
3. Can anyone stop Peachy Platoon? To be honest, in my opinion, this is the last serious threat they will have until they reach the D6 title game in a month or so. CSR is the pretty much the only thing that stand between Peachy Platoon and 10-1.
4. What’s the over/under in the Angry Buffalo/Racks and Sacks game? That would be 34. If Ricky shows up though the over/under goes to like 60. If we get no Ricky I wonder if we see 4 TDS combined in this game.
5. Will “Glasses” be in the lineup this week for Gryffindor? I am hearing rumors that TSL is about to hold the “game line” up as no one knows if “glasses” will be playing this week. I am hearing “glasses” could represent a 18-24 point swing in the line one way or another. If he plays Gryffindor could be in store for a shootout. If he doesn’t the Gryff probably rolls Uncle Rico’s. With playoffs quickly approaching Joey Batts has a big decision to make as he is in the #6 hole right now and we all know being the #6 seed does not bring home a TSL MVP award.
10 Final Thoughts for Saturday
1. The game I have my eye on is in D1 where it is quadruple dog on when Hootie and the Bro Fish have at it with Tight Ends in Motion. It appears that bragging rights for Sticky Brofish in Motion Inc LLC will be on the line in this one. HATBF is 3-1 and have looked dialed in the last 3 weeks while TEIM came back from the dead and shocked Marketing Mayors last week. These teams know each other well so this game should simply come down to execution.
2. I am a student of this game and love the “big money” battles. There will be no better battle this session than the battle looming between Andy Smith and Ryan Radke. Andy Smith, for a while now, has been one of the best players in the game today. His range is amazing, he is athletic and is a crazy play maker. Ryan Radke burst onto the scene last session and to date has run by and over every guy who has tried to cover him through the first four games of the session. I am curious to see if PE say “F IT” and just throws Radke right at Smith to see what happens or will they move Radke around and stay out of the middle. By days end we should know if this is still Smiths yard or will Radke take over?
3. Speaking of battles if you are going to have an epic male battle why not have an epic female battle as well? Sam vs Katie Keller should be awesome this week. Let us not forget Sam totally ran over Katie Keller in last sessions playoff game. Since then Katie Keller seems to be a step quicker and a step better. Will Sam remain the Queen Bee or is Katie Keller ready to take her title?
4. Matty’s Angels vs All we do is Quinn should be a barn burner. Both squads are solid top to bottom. MA loves to go bombs way while AWDIQ is a very savvy quick slant and quick throw team. The question is, was and will always be can the 2nd girl of AWDIQ run with the #5 girl on MA? This my friends is the battle to keep your eye on. I am hearing rumors Matty’s Angels could be getting back one of the game’s best players this week.
5. Buffalo Solar Solutions vs Indecent Exposure is a bigger game this week than you think. BSS looks to be on the verge of finally breaking out and making a climb up the ladder. To do that they must win this game or they lose all their street cred. IE is 1-2 and must win this game because if they lose they will fall into down the ranks. Right now they sit at #8 but one has to think NPI will start winning some games so the pressure will be on. This game should be good between 2 teams that match up quite well with each other.
6. I am heard from a friend who has a cousin who knows a guy who told a girl that Joe K is totally “flipping out” behind the scenes because he has no clue who the “Mentalist” writer is. It almost makes you wonder is he heading in the right direction with this person’s identity? Or did we already see this chase coming and to throw him off the scent decided to have the article written by like 3 different people in 3 weeks? Here comes your Fredo moment Joe K….What if the article writer is someone you know “very” well and literally the answer could be “right under your nose.” Think about that one for one second and good luck on your chase for this person’s true identity. BTW I read this week’s Mentalist article on my true identity. My guess is that my true identity is that of Dave Baker. Let’s see in time if I am right.
7. I am very interested to see how Matty’s Angels and UFO match up against each other this week. UFO has a big hole in the middle of their zone on most days not because of lack of talent but lack of technical knowledge. Mark would be wise to “stay home” or he will be beat “over the top” early and often in this one. I am curious to see if UFO uses its height and size advantage on the edges. I would find out where the male safety is and go to the other sides with size. Gender teams love to ISO their 5th girl on the 2nd cover girl of an opponent and this always works well. Not enough teams ISO their tallest WR on a vastly shorter Angel DB and just “throw it up in the air.” Most will tell you the Angels should roll UFO but I still think UFO can stay in this game if they “play smart.”
8. (2) teams with an insane amount of pressure on them this week are NPI and Hope N Ruin. Both squads do not have east matchups but both MUST win this week or both could be on the outside looking in come playoff time. It’s won’t be easy as HNR has Come from Behind this week while NPI has a red hot HK7 coming to town. Both these squads must do something to fix their anemic offenses. You can’t win if you can’t score.
9. I wonder if #XTC shows up with their full roster and Eyes Downtown plays short again will #XTC be “just as dumb” as they were in last session’s playoff or will they finally try and man ED? They should have listed to Tommy Hughes last playoff and it cost them big time.
10. What must ACE be thinking right now? They are 1-4 and their playoff lives are on the line this week. To make matters worse another gender team is heading their way. MA likes to go long but the Stunts are a rhythm and flow system offense. They will bring a whole new set of issues to worry about. ACE has to be shaking their heads this week but they MUST win this game.
Week 5 Thoughts, Picks, Insights and Questions.
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Thursday, 04 October 2018 13:08
- Published: Thursday, 04 October 2018 13:08
- Written by Patrick McGovern
- Hits: 10487
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
Jim Carey
Enter Week #5. It is finally time. Time for (2) of the greatest juggernauts in social co ed football history to wage battle once again. You may or may not know the story. Many, many, many moons ago Bobby McConnell and Corey Turner were BFF’s. They met in the underground flag football scene many years ago. Bobby could throw and Turner could call plays. They won league after league after league. They blew up Game On then headed to TSL. Things started slow but it all changed when we all met a guy named “Delecki.” Delecki was the missing piece to the equation. He was silky smooth on the field and he brought his crew instant street cred off it. Bobby and Corey won more titles then “it” happened. Yes the inevitable “break up.” There are those that will tell you Bobby drove them to leaving. Others will tell you that Turner’s ego to run his own gig caused the break up. And still others will tell you they were split right down the middle as half of them were PRO B’s Brother and half of them were CON B’s Brother. And what became of Delecki? To be honest I am not so sure. Delecki played another season or so and helped the Mayors take home their first title. Then one day he just “disappeared.” Some say he had a work opportunity but I know different. I know somewhere in a deep dark place Delecki knew better than anyone that the breakup was heart breaking and it wasn’t right and he knew he couldn’t continue. So where is Delecki now? Some say he is in Hollywood. Some claim he works in the linen department of Bed Bath and Beyond. Others claim he grew a full beard and now lives in a van down by the river. Some say they saw him on the price is right in a “showcase showdown.” Others claim that once a year Delecki comes out on December 25th as he is the one that eats the milk and cookies you put out for Santa Claus. So where do we go from here? What happens next? And most importantly what ever became of Delecki? Maybe this Saturday we get to find out……If not make sure on the night of December 24th to leave double stuff Oreo’s and skim milk out for Delecki….wink wink…..I mean Santa Claus….
DIVISION #1
HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS RACKS AND SACKS +13: This is a tale of (2) teams heading in different directions. RAS was supposed to take the next step. Travis cleaned house and was going to lead them to the promise land. That has not happened yet and you can tell Travis is in over his head. HATBF are a matchup nightmare. They have size, speed and they have a girl that can flat out go. The RAS corner is in for trouble this week. RAS is at a cross roads. This is the week we truly see what RAS are made of. They can still circle the wagons and get off the mat. They must either win or show well this week. If they get blown out again after a week off to clear their heads it will be all over as they will neve recover. I am curious to see what RAS are made of this week. HATBF do have holes in their defense that can be exploited. Let’s see if RAS sees them and attacks. HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH BY 11
MARKETING MAYORS VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION +8: Like RAS, TEIM is at a crossroads as well. They were supposed to be the team that was “on the rise” and ready to “take the next step” but that has yet to happen. One could make the argument HATBF have already passed them in the pecking order. TEIM is fast and they are skilled but they still lack an identity. Yes TEIM did beat MM so that’s a bonus but they have to show well this week as they too will be under the microscope. MM are loaded on both sides of the ball and are as tough as they come in this league. TEIM would be wise to avoid Andy Smith at all costs! If you go at Smith you will wish you didn’t. If it was me I would attack the other side. MARKETING MAYORS BY 7
MARKETING MAYORS +3 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: ED has been rolling with the B squad the past few weeks and that’s OK but now its time to kick their game up a nickel as 2 of their biggest rivals are heading their way soon. Chadwick returned last week to stabilize a defense that was starting get run over a tad. MM knows ED and ED knows MM. There will be nothing new in this one, this game comes down to execution. I know both squads are awesome and both squads should put on a show for the ages I just can’t help but think MM will be out gunned without Delecki. If Delecki plays MM probably gets over but he won’t so my money is on Eyes Downtown. This game is huge as it will give the winner huge confidence as playoffs will be quickly approaching. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 1
DIVISION #3
BULLETT CLUB +1 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: BC was off last week and could be rusty. Team Topper dusted up A&A and Sticky but many claim they have had an easy schedule to date. So who is for real and who isn’t? I think we will know by 12:00. Easton needs to start spreading the ball around better as he is starting to turn into a “one trick pony” by always throwing to Beesing. Drew will need to be ready to go in this one. Usually BC has a big girl edge but I don’t think so this week as Team Topper has been getting awesome production from their ladies. We can go on and on about this that and the other thing but at this point I am just ready to see (2) good football teams play a solid football game. BULLETT CLUB BY 3
GRYFFINDOR +8 VS MORNING WOOD: ****BREAKING NEWS****: I was just told “glasses” will not be playing in this game so we are moving the line to Gryffindor +1. “Glasses” has been killing the Gyrff secondary as everyone just runs right by him. Without “glasses” we can get down to bidness. The stars will be out this week as each team is loaded. The key to this game will be simply this, is JJ playing? If he is MW should roll as the Gryff does not have a tower to run with him. If JJ does not show this game should be close. Burr and Dave will be an awesome battle to watch. If Dave and Burr go heads up Tony will be needed more so than ever. I think we might see the Batman rush as the MW QB likes to dance all over the f’n place. When the dust settles I see an instant classic in this one. Last week SITE didn’t take Mo seriously let’s see if the Gryff makes the same mistake. MORNING WOOD BY 10…. now that I know “glasses” is out I am saying Morning Wood by 2.
DMX VS COBBLESTONE +13: Usually right now Cobblestone is like 3-1 and looking forward to another shot at the title. It pains me to see our friends at Cobblestone struggling so. There must be something we can do. Or should we all just go to Garrett Beesing’s house and stand on his sidewalk and boooo him every time he leaves or walks in his house? Darryl Carr QB Superstar is still the greatest leader of modern times. He will find a way to fix the mess and right the ship. DMX will win this game and CS will struggle but I am here to tell you better days are coming. We will return to former days of glory. Days of Darryl throwing magical spirals through the air. Days of Cobblestone victories not defeat. Have patience my friends better days are coming….DMX BY 11
DIVISION #4
STEVE’S CUZ’INS +1 VS CINTAS: Cousin Steve came back to earth last week as he continued to throw off his back foot and did not step into his throws. Cousin Steve has talent all over the field he needs to just clear his head and make his throws. I am hearing rumors we won’t see Joey Batts as Cunning Stunts is playing at the same time so this could affect the outcome. Cintas have a decent team that is 2-1 but they are struggling to put up big offensive numbers. As long as Cousin Steve slows the game down and makes simple throws and follows through and does not get caught flat footed he should prevail. STEVE’S CUZ’INS AKA HOMETECH POINT OH 2 BY 6
HK7 +6 VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS: UW is 3-1 and HK7 is 2-1 as both are running right through every team TSL trots in front of them. Both squads are doing it with offense. HK7 absolutely rolled Tune Squad last week while UW keeps moving right along. The HK7 QB is very good. HK7 also has a very good girl in Emily Schilling but she could be neutralized this week by the Queen Bee of D4. Sam has returned this session and will be looking to make a statement this week. If I was both these teams I would make sure to take notes on the other as they could be seeing each other again later this season….ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 4
BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS +6 VS 3RD AND SCHLONG: This one should be good. I wonder if 3AS keys on Katie Keller too much and BSS springs a trap and shocks them. BSS can surprise teams in D4. 3AS has been known to go to Katie Keller early and often so this is one storyline to keep your eyes on in this one. 3AS is solid on both sides of the ball. BSS isn’t the fastest team out there but they kind of just do everything pretty well. I see both these teams matching up very well. I expect a close one that might not be decided until late. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 3
TUNE SQUAD +11 VS 3RD AND SCHLONG: TS is struggling as they can’t score and their defense is getting lit up. Maybe next season a trip to D5 might do them some good. 3AS is 1-2 and they have just looked a tad off on offense. The good news if you’re a 3AS fan is they will win big this week. The bad news is they still have issues to address on both offense and defense. Sometimes an easy schedule game is the cure for what ails you. I expect 3AS to roll this week. 2-2 is on their horizon. 3RD AND SCHLONG BY 10
BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS +4 VS PUCKETT ALL STARS: This one should be good as both are off to nice starts. PAS are usually in shoot out mode as their defense can be lit up sometimes so they just have to outscore their opponents. BSS is off to a 2-1 start. They are a decent team with a solid offense and defense. I just am not sold on them getting into a shootout with PAS and beating them. PAS can get into trouble when they go long too much. If BSS can force them to go long early and often and get a break or two they could get lucky. It just seems like PAS has a tad more in the tank than BSS does. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 7
DIVISION #5
VANDALAY INDUSTRIES +6 VS CUNNING STUNTS: This one could be good. VI is off to a nice 2-2 start but they do not fare well with “rabitt” teams. Up next are the 3-1 Cunning Stunts who are playing solid ball of late. Joey Batts has been quoted as saying that this team is his favorite to play with as they flat out “listen.” CS is rolling on both sides of the ball. CS will have the speed edge, VI will have the size edge and of course CS will have the legend edge as Joey Batts out legends the Topper. CS must get quick 5-7 yard gains and stay smart on offense. VI must take advantage of their size and slow the game down. I expect a barn burner in this one. CUNNING STUNTS BY 4
HUNG BUFFALO VS WITTER’S +7: I was hoping for more from Witter’s, so far, we have yet to see it. They are 1-3 but they are capable of much more as this team needs to listen to their captain. They have solid leadership and a very good girl amongst them. HB is the definition of “journeymen” team. They are solid on both sides of the ball. They are battle tested and they have seen it all. They have played and won the big games before. HB has some big wins so far under their belt and I just don’t see them getting upset this week. HB is definitely in the race for the title. I fear Witter’s is still learning, better days are yet to come. HUNG BUFFALO BY 6
DIVISION #6
TIGHT END ZONES +11 VS THE PRACTICE SQUAD: TPS is up against it this week as they have PP on their schedule. TEZ hasn’t exactly been scoring much on offense and that is a problem because you can’t win if you can’t score. TPS has one of the stingiest defenses in D6 so yards will be at a premium this week. I expect TPS to do just enough to score about 24-29 points and they probably hold TEZ to 13-15 points. THE PRACTICE SQUAD BY 14
THE BIPOLAR EXPPRESS (NO LINE DUE TO THE FEAR OF WHAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN) VS PEACHY PLATOON: I fear hell, fire and brimstone are headed our way. And no I am not saying Gordon is about to go BiPolar though I put the odds at him blowing up at 87% in this game. PP is dialed in and checks all the boxes. I fear their team speed and offensive prowess (LOL I said prowess) will be a tad too much for this new squad. I would suggest Joe K tries to get himself and the best player on PP thrown out together this might give BPE a chance. If Joe K is any kind of friend he will get himself and like 3 PP players all thrown out at once. PEACHY PLATOON ALOT TO A LITTLE
PRACTICE SQUAD +7 VS PEACHY PLATOON: This could be interesting. PP has basically run over D6 and their last true test awaits them. TPS has been hot and cold. They can win the title. They do have a solid team. They just can’t seem to put it all together. TPS has an awesome defense but they are struggling to score. PP has been scoring at will and plays tough D. TPS will need to fix their offensive woes or this fight won’t last long. I think TPS can bring the fight but I am not ready to pick them just yet. PEACHY PLATOON BY 8
THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS +6 VS JABRONIES: OK BPE could win this one. They have a shot people! New teams struggle so in time this team will be ready to go. Gordon is one sharp cookie and in time will have the Express in contention. Jabronies are struggling on offense, so I am betting the under. I think we see about 25-30 total points in this game and we will all be front row for a good old fashion defensive battle. BPE will show up and will be tough but ultimately Jabronies probably take this one as they are a tad more seasoned . JABRONIES BY 4
JABRONIES +8 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: Jabronies are 1-2 and are struggling to score. CSR seems to be in the top group of 3 or so teams in D6. CSR has played solid offense and their defense has been stout. Jabronies are probably going to struggle to score as CSR should go back to their winning ways this week. At least Jabronies get to be a part of the bright lights and big city as this game is heading towards FIELD #1 at 2:00. CELINO SEWER RATS BY 10
PASSLESS CHAPS +7 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: I think this one could be decent. TMA will be in the top 3-4 by seasons send they just need more time to gel and figure out who is supposed to play where. PC are 2-2 in D6 and look right at home. PC should so shock TMA and bring really really really really really really really really really realty tall guy to the fields this week and keep throwing him jump balls. I will be watching Ferger closely this week. He has never had this many weapons before so eventually the offense is just going to bust out and start scoring at will. At some point RW is going to have like 15 catches for 90 yards and 5 TDS. This could be the week as PC struggles on defense. The McKenzie Agency by 8
5 Questions for Saturday
1. Is Team Topper a legit 5-0 or are they the by-product of an easy early season schedule? We should know by about noon. Bullett Club is a solid team that will come to play. Speaking of pressure, I am hearing Jeff Easton has been keying on Beesing too much and there are quiet grumbles he isn’t as efficient as he was last session. We will know by days end if these 2 teams are contenders or pretenders for the D3 title.
2. Has Racks and Sacks circled the wagons and are ready for the stretch run or are they about to fold like a tent? HATBF is one tough out in D1 that will bring all kinds of match up headaches. RAS better stop the long ball stuff and just go back to simple 7-10 yard gains on offense. 14 points a game isn’t going to bring home a D1 title.
3. BiPolar Express vs Peachy platoon does not look like a very good matchup on paper. Is this the week Gordon finally goes BiPolar? I say NO. OK I was sooooo kidding I sooooo see him going off in this one.
4. Is D3 a (4) or (5) team race to the finish line? We will know by 1:00 after Morning Wood plays Gryffindor. If MW rolls Gryffindor might not recover. If the Gryff wins they get right back into the race. No pressure Gryffindor…no…pressure….
5. Are Jabronies ready for the bright lights and big city when they head to FIELD #1 at 2:00 to take on Celino Sewer Rats? I think flex scheduling can be a great thing. Good luck Jabronies…
10 Final Thoughts for Saturday
1. The game I have my eye on is in D1 where WW3 is about to begin at 1:00 when Eyes Downtown and Marketing Mayors have at it. We can go on and on about this that or the other thing but this game will just come down to execution PERIOD.
2. There is not a team in this league that has more pressure on them right now than Tight Ends in Motion. I always say there are 3 “true” tests in D1. TEIM failed their first two tests miserably against both Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown. Now it is time for Test #3 as Marketing Mayors are up next. TEIM has beaten the Mayors before but can they now? TEIM needs to find an identity and more importantly they must, they MUST find a leader that can pick them up and lead them through the tough days and into the promise land. TEIM has skill all over the field it is now time to unleash it.
3. Talking about pressure, the TSL’er with the 2nd most amount of pressure on them is none other than the “chosen one” Joey Battgalia. Gryffindor is a pedestrian 2-2 right now and a very tough Moring Wood is up next. If you like awesome 1 on 1 battles look no further than the match up of the day when Jeremy Burr and Dave Wilborn have at it for D3 supremacy. Its funny, these 2 will wage war but they could have easily just been teammates together in D1. It’s a shame it had to come to this. Joey Batts must find a way to take this game or Gryffindor could be in big trouble. Gryffindor must find a way to tighten up the defense. Giving up 30 a game will not bring home a D3 title.
4. If you like good offense look no further than the HK7 vs Ultimate Warriors game. HK7 is 2-1 and looks dialed in on offense while Ultimate Warriors are cruising at a 3-1 clip as they have looked awesome on both sides of the ball. Both squads check all the boxes as they both have solid offense and play tight defenses. We could be looking at a D4 title game preview.
5. Vandalay Industries is 2-2 and have shown some good and bad. They have been very decent on offense but their defense at times can be exploited. Cunning Stunts is up next and have been dialed in for a few sessions now. Let us not forget VI lost to Matty’s Angles 42-32 so they have shown that they can be beaten up by a quick gender team. The Stunts are not as fast as the Angels but they are solid top to bottom.
6. So I can’t predict games correctly…. OK Lenny why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and why don’t you try to handicap and pick some games next week? Let’s see how you do hotshot!!!
7. It looks like it’s another slow schedule this week. BTW I for one think the league has done a great job cleaning up the sub mess of last session. I am hearing a list will be sent in the next week or so to captains making sure all captains understand what girls they can or can not use for the playoffs. It is priority one to make sure the playoffs are fair and apples to apples for everyone.
8. 3rd and Schlong can easily get back up off the mat and back into the D4 title race with 2 big wins against teams they should beat this week. 1-2 could very easily be 3-2 by days end. If they don’t win both I would have some concern as they head down the stretch.
9. I know DMX is going to beat up on Cobblestone this week, but so far I have not been very impressed with them. I was so hoping they were going to throw their hat in the ring and get into the D3 title sweep stakes but I have yet to see it. Their offense has been good but not great but their defense still needs work. DMX has a lot to improve on before the playoffs start.
10. If the Practice Squad wants to know where they stand in D6 this is the week they find out. Peachy Platoon will be one tough team to beat. TPS is up against it and will need to bring it this week.
Week 3 thoughts, picks, questions, some answers, and insights
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Wednesday, 19 September 2018 12:31
- Published: Wednesday, 19 September 2018 12:31
- Written by Patrick McGovern
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ON SEPTEMBER 22ND IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2018 AT 1 O’CLOCK HISTORY WILL BE MADE
It’s been a year in the making. Oh have we had some glorious rivalries in this game based on pure hatred. We have had The Tammy’s vs Nice TDS. We have had Eyes Downtown vs Varsity Villains. We have had Seneca Greenhouse vs Molly’s Ladies. We have had Riley St Station vs all of D2. We have had Meg Ferrell vs Beth Zygmant and the Godmother Marissa Mariano. And who could forget the greatest hatred rivalry of all I of course am speaking about DWIERS vs Hot Sauce. But this one could be just as big, just as salty and just as magical. It started many moons ago when one Blasé LaDuca took to face book and fired the “shot heard round the world.” The hatred between Blasé LaDuca and Emily Curry was so bad it took a secret year end peace meeting brokered by none other than Darryl Carr QB Superstar to find some sort of peace. That lasted for like a week then the rivalry continued. Matty’s Angels struck back by literally laying the “smacketh downeth” on ACE in route to their first championship. ACE left last season and we did not get our re-match….. until now. On September 22nd in the year of our Lord 2018 at 1:00 (2) teams will take the field of battle in the greatest re-match in history. They are billing it as the “game of the decade.” Who is they? How the F should I know just know this game will be magical nay stupendous nay un-forgettable. This game is so big TSL has decided to flex schedule it and move it to Field #1. Let’s take a closer look at the tape shall we.
TALE OF THE TAPE
ACE +4 VS MATTY’S ANGELS
Matty’s Angels 2-0
Matty Ice Lindsay Stoddard Kellie Mazur Kate Salisbury
Dave Kleckler Molly Morgan Nicole Sharick Nikki Sabuda
Emily Curry Val Bernal Kate Miano
Casey Oliphant Maggie LaMantia Sam Thompson
Strengths: Their leadership is rock solid. Matty Ice has won so many titles in this league, far too many to mention. His plate O’ Spaghetti offense is un-orthodox but it’s what he knows and it’s what he makes work. Each and every Angel knows anything is possible. Whether you are on the field or the side line a ball can come to you at any time. The Angels are fast, they are smart and they have a pack mentality. They are specialists in scoring at will and having fun. They also have beaten ACE before and right now they have a psychological edge.
Weaknesses: Gender teams struggle on defense when a team isolates a shorter safety against a taller receiver and just throws the ball up in the air. Matty Ice can be rushed if a team has the stones to rush a guy on him but this opens up his 5th option against the 2nd cover girl which is the key to a gender teams attack.
Questions for Saturday: Will the bright lights of Field #1 put un-do pressure on the Angels? If the game gets chippy will Matty’s Angles get caught in the side show or just play their game? What happens if ACE finds a height advantage and takes advantage of it Saturday? Last time these (2) hooked up The Angels rocked the ACE secondary and scored at will, can they use this same game plan again and make short work of their bitter rival?
ACE 1-1
Ronny K Matt (Ron’s nephew) Dorene Blasé LaDuca
Alivia LaRue Dan (works with Ron) Trish
Frank LaRue Keith (friend of Dorene) Ramon
Yes I too am bewildered our roster source couldn’t give us the full names of people he slash she plays with. I too am flabbergasted.
Strengths: Ronny K is a field general and one of the greatest leaders of modern times. We all thought he was done but his desire to once again achieve greatness burned so bright he had to come back, he needed to come back. He knew better than anyone that he once again had to face the Angels. ACE has sick speed and they have been around a long time so they are battle tested and students of the game. Blasé LaDuca right now is a mid-level heel he knows better than anyone for him to reach “main event” villain he must do something epic to catch the TSL Universes attention. Blasé LaDuca was out but we are hearing he wants to play this game so bad he has made arrangements and will be in the ACE lineup Saturday.
Weaknesses: When these (2) hooked up in last fall’s Championship they were missing people but ACE’s secondary got torched. ACE must get better production from their #2 girl as she will be under the microscope. Ronny K is a field general like no other but he is not known for his deep ball will this bring the Angels secondary up and force Ronny K to go to the long ball more than he wants to?
Questions for Saturday: Did Blasé LaDuca and his brother really have a wedding last fall to miss the championship or were they afraid to play the Angels? Will ACE get chippy and use psychological warfare to knock the Angels off their game? Is Blasé LaDuca planning something epic to get major “heel heat” to advance his villain character? Will ACE rush a guy? How mad is Ronny K right now at us that we put this game under the microscope and moved it to field #1 and have turned it into another TSL side show spectacle? Is ACE concerned that mathematically speaking every time they get a TD it’s worth (6) but every time Matty’s Angles do its’s worth (8)? Will this force them into going after (8) points more than they normally would?
What the people are saying about this game…….
“Wtf we were supposed to play Uncle Rico’s on Field #1 at 1:00 but we got bumped for this train wreck? I was going to win my first game ever in week #2 this is lame.”
“I so hope Emily pile drives Blasé LaDuca into the grass then drops the bionic elbow out of no where on him. Once she’s done knocking his a$$ out I hope Shari runs out from the tree line and Emily V Shari happens right on Field #1 to a chorus of “holy shit” chants”
“I heard the TSL is negotiating with Joey Batts, Darryl Carr QB Superstar and B’s Brother on a possible one time return for the ceremonial coin flip at 1:00”
“Can the Angels stay sober long enough to be ready to go at 1:00? The later the game is played the worse off they could be physically.”
“I proclaim only Billy Gunn is qualified enough to referee this masterpiece.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I’ve even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years of broadcasting have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we are about to witness here today.”
“Why do they keep calling me Tony.”
Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out……………
DIVISION #1
ANGRY BUFFALO +7 VS PUBLIC ENEMY. Angry Buffalo is at a crossroads. One of two things will happen this week. Either Angry Buffalo will show up and come to play and they will save their season or they get blown out at which point their season will be over. AB does not look like a cohesive unit. PE has looked awesome to date as they have been humming on both sides of the ball. They are battle tested and they are all business so there is no way they take this team lightly. AB has skill all over the field so they can compete. One must ask can the #2 AB girl run with the #2 girl of PE as this could be an interesting matchup to keep your eyes on this week. I’m guessing AB comes back from the dead and is ready for war. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 1
MARKETING MAYORS VS #XTC +8: #XTC has been a great surprise as they sit at 2-1. Look no further than Tommy Hughes if you want to know why they have been so good. #XTC has looked solid on offense as Hughes has been slinging. MM are an awesome system team that checks all the boxes. They have a solid QB, talented WR’s and a decent female stable. Andy Smith could be the best player in the game today. I see #XTC bringing the fight once again but I just think Marketing Mayors are just too tough to beat on this day. MARKETING MAYORS BY 7
HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH +10 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: This one should be good. ED does not exactly have the best corner in the league so this one should be interesting as Lindsey could get open early and often in this one. I am curious to see if ED has both Chadwick and Farr in the lineup. If they do Bro will not have much open space to work with as both ED DBS are as good as it gets in this league. Bro does not seem to look good when his wrs are locked down man to man. Hootie has 3 tough tests this season to see how they fare in D1. They did not fare well in test #1 on opening day. Test #2 is Eyes Downtown as they will bring some interesting matchup headaches. Hootie must find a way to overcome. Easier said than done. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8
TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION VS RACKS AND SACKS +7: RAS are struggling as they need to switch things up. I think they need to stop the long ball stuff and just go back to simple 7-10 yard gains on offense. Their QB is battle tested but they need to quit chasing the pretty play and just go make the simple play. The Alex era has begun on defense. Will TEIM continue to play smothering defense with Alex at the helm or will they force him back to only QB? This is a situation I will be watching closely this week. If I was TEIM I would stay out of the middle and attack the sidelines. I also would try and see if they can get their girls going this week as they have a big girl speed edge. If I was RAS I would overload a side and try and confuse a secondary that has shown it can be exploited. I would motion Radon and see if Tiger moves with him. If Tiger doesn’t then throw to Radon early and often. I also would hope and pray Alex does not play defense. If he does RAS may tap at halftime just like #XTC did. #AlexshouldhavecoveredMattyMohr TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 6
DIVISION #2
Doesn’t exist just keep reading…….
DIVISION #3
COBBLESTONE +11 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY +4: This used to be billed as “battle of the immortals” but Cobblestone is in rebuilding mode. Make no mistake Cobblestone will be ready for this game as Topper week is big business. Darryl Carr QB Superstar once again took his legend status to another level when he won the Topper Wheel of Hope Spin and then hit on the prizes or punishment wheel. Cobblestone has new faces and will need time to gel but there are few leaders better than Darryl. Cobblestone will struggle for a while but they will be back to form sooner than later. I am hearing quiet rumors one of Team Topper’s females could be injured and out for a while. 1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 10
UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS +7 VS SLYTHERIN THE END ZONE: SITE did not look like a train wreck in week #1. They have improved at QB and they seem to have a better player in their lineup. URTT have had an up and down time so far in D3. Are they ready for the jump? I am still not sure. They got beat by Team Topper but rolled over Cobblestone. SITE is ready to take the next step. Winning a game is new for SITE but I think they have what it takes to win this one. OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO DO THIS SITE BY 6 YES SITE BY 6
BULLETT CLUB VS UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS +10: BC got beat last week by Morning Wood. I need to be honest that made me happy. I think the football Gods will not be looking favorably on the Club this session. It was nice to see a team stack their roster worse than the Club did last year and win. URTT are a mixed bag. I am not sure if they are ready for the bright lights of this division yet. The Club will roll. Now that CS and URTT are out of the way the Bullet Club schedule will start to get a tad tougher in the next few weeks. BULLET CLUB BY 14
DMX +7 VS MORNING WOOD: MW has been an up and down roller coaster so far. They beat The Club but they got smoked by the Sticky Bandits. Who shows up this week? DMX looked awesome in week #1 but were missing key people last week and got crushed. This game could be a good one if both teams are at 100%. Make no mistake about it points will be scored early and often in this one. MW will have a huge size edge in this one. The question must be asked though, will the jealousy Mo has for Dave Wilborn and his ability to be super awesome at anything he tries to do ultimately tear this team apart by seasons end? Mo is totally jelly right now, its not Dave’s fault he is a human highlight reel on a football field and at reffing. MORNING WOOD BY 7
SLTHERIN THAT ENDZONE +8 VS A&A: SITE has a shot at beating Uncle Rico but they aren’t beating A&A. A&A is loaded as they are gunning for the D3 title. They have SITE outmatched and outgunned at every position. Will the fact Matty Ice is embroiled in the game of the decade at 1:00 be on his mind so much that A&A takes SITE for granted and could get upset? I didn’t think so either. SITE will bring the fight but A&A is dialed in right now. I see them throwing up about 40-44 in route to a big win. A&A BY 10
COBBLESTONE +10 VS MORNING WOOD: This one could get ugly early. No not between these two teams. I mean what happens when Dave Wilborn scores 8 TDS this week and Mo scores 0? Will Mo go postal and storm off the field? Cobblestone is in rebuilding mode. They have a new girls who in time will be good but for now they still will be finding their way. Obviously Cobblestone has the icon edge and the QB edge but Morning Wood has them outgunned everywhere else. I think Cobblestone will be in store for a very long season but I think they will improve greatly week by week. MORNING WOOD BY 8
DIVISION #4
ULTIMATE WARRIORS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +3: It’s nice of Indecent Exposure to finally join us. Ultimate Warriors are 1-1 but they have had major attendance issues to date. UW have very talented females who can take a game over. They also have the best uniforms ever created except the Darryl Carr #ICON jersey. IE is a battle tested team that is the definition of balance. They have size, speed, solid girls and a very good QB. This game should be a good one between 2 teams that know each other well. ULTIAMTE WARRIORS BY 1
CINTAS +3 VS PUCKETT ALL STARS: PAS have it on cruise control as their offense is ho humming along to the tune of 40 points a game. Their girls are very under rated and have very under rated speed. Hell these girls can flat out fly. Cintas are 1-0 and they have the legend Joey Batts at the helm. Batts is a league legend who makes everyone around him better. PAS have a very solid team top to bottom. It all begins and ends at QB for them as their QB can sling as his arm is very strong. Cintas are good but I fear they might not have the speed PAS have and this could cause some issues for them. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 6
TUNE SQUAD +8 NO PUNT INTENDED: If you would have told me pre-season NPI would be 0-2 heading into this game I would not have believed you. Last year they were really good but got shocked in the playoffs now they are struggling big time. TS got beat up pretty good last week. I do not know much about TS except their defense let up 53 points last week and that is not good. I would think they need a few weeks to tighten things up and learn things week after week. NPI will not be a good team to test things out against as NPI is battle tested. I think NPI will bounce back and TS will once again be on the losing end this week. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 10
DIVISION #5
VANDALAY INDUSTRIES VS UFO +8: VI is about where you would think after 2 weeks. They have shown some good moments and bad moments. UFO has been a hot mess after 2 weeks as they have been outscored 53-14. Their defense has not been that bad but they must get more from their offense. They have some decent players they just need to kick their games up a nickel. VI is not overly fast so UFO should be able to find some room on a very giving secondary. If UFO is going to come looking for war this must be the week. VI can be beat by teams that have some speed. UFO has a girl that can go if they can get her the ball. This one could be closer than one would think. VANDALAY INDUSTRIES BY 7
HOPE N RUIN VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN +3: AWDIQ is once again running away with D5 as they have looked awesome so far in 2 big wins. But let’s be honest that does not matter as it is now Hope n Ruin week. These 2 teams are bitter rivals. HNR has stolen both the D5 and D6 trophies from AWDIQ. AWDIQ is terrified of this team. You might see a 0-2 team on one side and a 2-0 team on the other and expect a blow out. Don’t do that, that would be a mistake. AWDIQ knows as well as HNR and I do that a war is coming. This game is always bedlam and I expect nothing less from these 2 this week. HOPE N RUIN BY 1
WITTER’S VS COME FROM BEHIND +1: CFB could be the best 0-2 in football right now. I too am a tad confused that a team this good is 0-2 but as Denny Green said “you are what your record says you are.” Witter’s has been a pleasant surprise. They have taken the next step and are off to a very nice 1-1 start. They gave Matty’s Angels a war and could easily be 2-0. Their QB has looked very good, their guys continue to take the next step they just need more from their girls. CFB can get some big gains with their girls but Witter’s has been playing some tough D as of late. WITTER’S BY 3
ACE +6 VS MATTY’S ANGELS: Well we have already gotten into all the X’s and O’s in the beginning of the article. I think this game will better than many would think. I think ACE will come to play. MA looked dialed in on offense and they will be tough to stop. I do not see the same blow out that happened a few seasons ago but I do see the Angels taking this one. ACE can shock them if they find ways to take advantage of the mismatches they will encounter. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 4
ACE +3 VS COME FROM BEHIND: ACE does not usually fare well in this game and let’s be honest they will be part of the “game of the decade” on Saturday so that will be on their minds first and foremost. CFB is solid top to bottom. The only question that remains is who will be QB? If Paul makes his glorious return this game could get ugly but if he doesn’t play I expect a close game. CFB has a huge size edge while ACE has the speed edge. I expect a good one here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 4
CUNNING STUNTS +3 VS HUNG BUFFALO: HB usually struggles early in the season but they have been hot to date. Their offense is clicking and their defense has stood tall after two weeks. CS did not look good last week but their leader was obviously dehydrated. While normal men would have collapsed, died or been driven to the hospital Joey Batts refused to take himself out of the game and continued to push forward like the legend that he is. HB is one tough out in this league. CS will need to be on their game or they could be 1-2 by days end. HUNG BUFFALO BY 1
DIVISION #6
THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS +14 VS THE PRACTICE SQUAD: This one could get ugly early. BPE did not look good on either offense or defense last week now D6’s finest is heading their way. Gordon will be tested this week. The whole world will be watching and waiting. Will this be the week Gordon implodes causing hell, fire and brimstone? Or will Gordon shock the world and keep his cool and composure all season? Rome wasn’t built in a day. BPE has some skill and remember football is supposed to be fun win or lose so just enjoy the day. I see TPS rolling this week but BPE will continue to get better and better week after week. THE PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17
JABRONIES +4 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: Jabronies are off to a nice 1-0 start but I don’t think they have the street cred the top 4 or so teams have so far. They were one series from the playoffs last season and look to build on that this season. TMA are the people’s champion. They have Brent, they have Megan errrr Drunk Meg, they have a Bernal and now they have Rameer. He should fit in nicely with this crew. Ferger knows better than anyone that there is a ton of talent around him and now he must deliver as he will be the man they all look to for success. TMA will take a few more weeks to gel but they have the makings of something special with a very solid roster. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 7
PASSLESS CHAPS +10 VS JABRONIES: Don’t look now but the Jabronies are off to a nice 1-0 and very beatable Passless Chaps are up next. PC have had an interesting season as they have given up roughly 31 points a game but they did shock the D6 favorite Practice Squad last week. PC are struggling on O where they score roughly 14 a game. 14 points will not do it this week. Look for the Jabronies to roll in this one. JABRONIES BY 7
THE MCKEZNIE AGENCY +1 VS PEACHY PLATOON: This game should be a good one as both these teams should be near the top of the ranks by seasons end. PP has looked awesome to date as they are off to a nice 2-1 start. Their offense was awesome last week as they have speed to burn on their side of the field. TMA has a battle tested team that is getting help this week. The key to this game will be at QB and that means Ferger will be under the microscope. Ferger must deliver this week for TMA to have a chance. PP might be the “new flavor of the month” but TMA can shock them. They will need to throw everything but the kitchen sink at them to be successful. PEACHY PLATOON BY 3
CELINO SEWER RATS VS TIGHT END ZONES +6: CSR has been scoring at will and rolling teams over but let’s be honest they have yet to be tested. This is a mild test for them. I still think Peachy Platoon, McKenzie Agency and Practice Squad are the threats to this team so the hard games are coming soon. TEZ was an up and down squad last year. They can score and they have won some big games in this league but you really never know who is showing up for them. This game could go either way but until I see otherwise I am going with CSR. I just don’t see a big route for CSR like last week. CELINO SEWER RATS BY 4
5 Questions for Saturday
1. What’s up with award winning Tommy Hughes? He literally could be your TSL MVP after (2) weeks. He has looked awesome at QB and has #XTC at 2-1 as he has looked 10 years younger. He has looked crisp with a longball that has sizzled.
2. Did Gryffindor miss Brother Nero or did Joey Batts just lose his chance at TSL history and back to back MVP awards? The batman went 0-2 and did not look sharp in the Team Topper loss. Joey got beat on defense and did not look very sharp at QB. One can only wonder if Tony is sad or chuckling right now. The Gryff has a tough game scheduled this week vs Sticky Bandits so they better shake this loss off quickly.
3. Is a defensive controversy looming on Tight Ends in Motion? After the week #1 debacle vs Eyes Downtown, TEIM countered by unleashing Alex at pass rusher. What did this accomplish? Oh I don’t know how about a 23-6 win causing #XTC to tap out. Alex could be the key to saving TEIM’s season. No Stack, No Coniff, No Stoner Dave…no problem Alex has you covered. One still must wonder if Dave Baker was ultra jelly and didn’t put Alex at corner as he knew, like this writer, that Alex would have put a show on for the ages and been named new defensive captain. #AlexforD1defensiveMVP #AlexshouldhavecoveredMattyMohr
4. What could AWDIQ be thinking right now? They know as well as I do who is up next. I of course and speaking of their bitter rival Hope N Ruin. For whatever reason AWDIQ folds like a tent when Hope n Ruin comes to town. To answer your next question, yes we will have Rameer stretched and ready to go into the game should HNR need a quick sub on Saturday.
5. Am I the only one that thinks D3 is starting to get a tad “out of hand” with the stacking of rosters? It is safe to say Morning Wood, A&A, Gryffindor and Bullet Club all could be called out for “over doing it” with some of their roster selections for D3. Looks like the D1 arms race has found its way to D3….GRRRRRREAT.
10 Final Thoughts for Saturday
1. The game I have my eye on this week is obviously the “game of the decade” Ace vs Matty’s Angels. The second best game on the schedule looks to be Hope N Ruin vs All We Do is Quinn. Hope N Run has had Quinn’s number for the better part of the last 3-4 seasons. Every time it’s on AWDIQ folds like a tent against this team. Will Quinn somehow overcome adversity and finally best the big bad wolf? Hope N Ruin is holding Quinn’s D5 and D6 trophies.
2. The McKenzie Agency will know by days end where they stand in D6 after two tough games vs Peachy Platoon and Jabronies. How awesome was it to see Brent, Andy and Ferger at football Saturday even though they had a bye week. I keep hearing they are about to get a shot in the arm Saturday as the calvary is coming.
3. Sooooo The BiPolar Express struggled a tad in a surprising 45-0 loss last week. Now they face D6’s finest in the Practice Squad who was shocked Saturday. Am I the only one that thinks TPS will be coming to town pissed off as hell and will be looking to make a statement vs BPE this week? I am fearing a tough game is heading our way.
4. Hootie and the Brofish did not look good vs Public Enemy but did look good vs Angry Buffalo. So are they good or are they going to struggle? This is the week we find out as the reigning and defending D1 champs Eyes Downtown are up next. I am sure many eyes will be on this game at 12:00 to see if HATBF are for real or not. We will have the answer to our question at 1:00.
5. Puckett All Stars are off to a very nice 2-0 start as their offense has been clicking. They have done a nice job mixing short gains and solid long balls. Last week they burned Kevin Keller with a 25 yd girl fly route. Their QB can sling and their girls are fast. Cintas does not have a ton of team speed but they are a solid squad top to bottom so this match up should be a good one.
6. Other teams are getting the headlines but Team Topper is off to a very “under the radar” 2-0 start. Team Topper totally dismantled the Gryffindor defense last week. Drew survived his battle with the evil monster Jeremy Burr though he did get torched on the first play of the game. It’s safe to say Tim Dove has been a very “calming” influence on the Team Topper offense. It also must be said that the girls on Team Topper are as good as they have ever been which is helping their success. Darryl Carr QB Superstar is up next this week in a game that is usually bedlam.
7. I am curious to see how Witter’s does this week. They just lost out to Matty’s Angels in week #1 and rolled over UFO last week. They could be poised for a big season this year. They have a tough test looming this week with Come from Behind. Witter’s QB looked as good as advertised in last weeks big win over UFO.
8. OK seriously was the ascot thing Sticky Bandits was doing a “thing” or did someone lose a bet or is something going on that we the TSL Universe should know about? I have seen some strange things but that one made me double take. In their defense, the ascots did accent the jerseys well, I am just sayin….
9. I would like to take this time to congratulate the Topper Sports Podcast Team, all contributors and guests for 100 episodes as of this week. Special thanks go out to 5 Star Productions who have been very gracious hosts. It’s crazy to think one silly idea has turned into 100 episodes strong for Topper Sports.
10. Ladies and Gentlemen after much deliberation we have decided to move the Topper’s Wheel of Hope Spin and Prize and Punishment Wheel Spin to 3:00 each Saturday instead of 2:00. The thought being once the day is over every team has a fair chance to be there for the win. Congratulations to our first two winners 3rd and Schlong and Cobblestone. We will see you at 3:00 for this week’s spin.
11. *****If there is interest Coach Jay has said he will run a short 1 hour football camp at 9:00 am this week. Please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I can inform Coach Jay you or teammates will be attending. There is no charge we are just trying to help football players get better. Trust me after 1 hour with Coach Jay you will be better whether you know it or not.
week 4 thoughts, questions, insights, more questions..
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Wednesday, 26 September 2018 15:28
- Published: Wednesday, 26 September 2018 15:28
- Written by Patrick McGovern
- Hits: 10048
“I don’t make up the rules. I just think them up and write them down.”
Eric Cartman
Enter Week #4. Things are starting to get good. If you play in D1 one must begin to wonder if a “changing of the guard” is slowly taking shape. If you play in D3 I don’t even know what to think anymore. D4 and D5 are awesome and should go right down to the wire each and every week. D6 was fun but one team is cheesing out and has taken some of the luster off a generally tightly contested battle each and every season. This week the stars will be out. Topper plays Matty then Sticky, Mo plays Dave, Cousin Steve plays Katie and Joey Batts has at it with Matty Ice in the match up of the week. Fasten your seat belts boys and girls things are just starting to get good…..
DIVISION #1
TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION VS PUBLIC ENEMY +6. PE was 3-0 vs TEIM last session and there was a specific reason why. They were doing things on both sides of the ball that in a lot of cases confused TEIM and forced them into plays that were not high percentage. If both these teams are at 100% PE is about an 8-10 point favorite unfortunately this week they will not be at 100%. PE will be bringing the B squad to town and this is good news if you are a TEIM fan. TEIM seems to have kicked their game up a nickel after the week #1 debacle. The D has tightened up and they are scoring. I expect this game to be close but TEIM will have more horses than PE will on this day and that will help them carry. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 7
HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS #XTC +6: HATBF looked solid last week as they shocked the world. #XTC will bring a whole different set of complications this week. Kellie Mazur is a very good player one of the better females HATBF will see this session. Dubey looks like the game has passed him by and that’s a shame as he has had a tremendous career. If Hughes returns will they go back to chuck and duck and just see what happens? HATBF will need to once again just keep fighting as they could find themselves in the lead near the end and by days end could be looking at 3-1. HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH BY 8
ANGRY BUFFALO +8 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: Beware the trap game. ED had HATBF right where they wanted them and let them off the hook. AB looked awesome on offense last week but struggled on defense. If AB shows up with the same lineup as last week they will probably lose by 7-10 points but if they replace last week’s safety with a new safety then they have a shot. They have a big size edge and they are just as fast as ED. Yes the girls will be an issue like they always are but I see a shootout in this one. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6
DIVISION #2
Doesn’t exist just keep reading…….
DIVISION #3
A&A VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY +7: Team Topper is 3-0 but they did beat a short handed Gryffindor and the 2 worst teams in the division. A&A is a team that is loaded and will pose all kinds of match up headaches for Uncle Topper and Co. This is a game that Team Topper will sorely miss Kelly Liddle. The A&A girls are wicked fast and could get some gains in this one. I see Drew being able to run with one A&A WR but not all of them. The Team Topper secondary will be busy (and under siege all day) as they have speed and size issues they will need to deal with. I hate to say it but by days end Team Topper will be 3-1 as A&A should roll in this one. A&A BY 8
MORNING WOOD VS SLYTHERIN THE END ZONE +8: Don’t look now but SITE is 1-2 and they are actually scoring this session. Newman seems to be the answer at QB. No make no mistake about it SITE will have no issues covering Mo but they will not be able to cover Dave it just ain’t happening. The SITE offense will score some points but I just don’t see how they will be able to run with a team that is this loaded on offense like Morning Wood. BTW if I had to guess TD counts I would say Dave 3 TDS Mo 0 TDS. MORNING WOOD BY 10
DMX VS UNCLE RICO’S TIME TRAVELERS +10: DMX started out so well but has regressed as they now sit at 1-2. This kind of also tells you we have a D3 loaded roster problem. Last session this team was too good for D3 and not good enough for D2 yet now they are 1-2 and in 6th place. You still think teams aren’t stacking their rosters in D3? URTT were nice enough to jump up to D3 but they aren’t ready. Their offense is good and they are a solid D4 team but they won’t go with this team. DMX needs them some Johnny Football back at WR to get some confidence going. DMX BY 13
A&A VS GRYFFINDOR +3: This one should be good. Joey Batts is literally our best player. Jeremy Burr is still the scary monster that hides under one’s bed. Then there is Tony. OK A&A is loaded on both sides of the ball. They have size, they have speed and they have girls that can go. I am beginning to think it will be ladies night in this one. I think the stars on each side of the field almost cancel each other all out which leave this one up to the girls. If you ask me the A&A girls will beat the Gryffindor girls in this one. A&A BY 3
STICKY BANDITS +6 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: SB is struggling next up is bitter rival Uncle Topper. Topper always comes to play against the Sticky Nation. Many still wonder how the Topper is still slinging at such a high rate at such an old age. The Topper is showing no signs of slowing down. Team Topper is throwing up 40 a game and that should be enough to carry against a team that is struggling to score right now. Take Team Topper and bet the under. 1 TOPPER TOO MANY BY 7
DIVISION #4
PUCKETT ALL STARS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +6: If you like by the long ball you can also die by the long ball. PAS unfortunately learned this lesson last week as they were out gunned against Joey Batts and Co. PAS will need to bring it this week as a very talented, very balanced team in IE is up next. IE has one of the best players in D4 on their squad. They have a solid QB, decent girls and they check all the boxes. PAS likes to run and gun but with the weather starting to get a tad choppy it might be time to change their way of thinking. PAS should bounce back but I see a good game looming in this one. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 4
CINTAS +3 VS BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS +8: BSS is having a BSS type season as they sit at 2-2 up next is the big bad wolf. Cintas are 2-0 and they have looked solid. I could go on and on for an hour about how good Joey Batts is and how this team would be 0-4 right now without him even though they have only played 2 games. BSS are scoring 35 a game and that is pretty good so Cintas better be ready to run this week. Cintas are lights out on defense as they have put 2 very good offenses to sleep so far. I see Cintas rolling yet again a big win. CINTAS BY 7
TUNE SQUAD +8 HK7: Tune Squad has not looked very impressive on defense and one of D4’s finest is heading their way. TS still needs time to figure out the game in D4. HK7 has a very solid QB, a very good female player and a solid but unspectacular supporting cast. I fear one of those “a lot to a little games” looming this week. Tune Squad will take their lumps for a few more weeks then eventually they will start understanding this game and should show a marked improvement. HK7 BY 11
NO PUNT INTENDED VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +3: This one should be good. NPI is 0-2 and that is shocking as they are way better than that. IE is 0-1 and they need to catch up. IE is very balanced and very rarely has a bad game so NPI will need to bring it. NPI has speed on both sides of the ball and can take advantage of a team that is not as fast as they are. IE has a gamer who can make some plays for IE in this one. I am so cheering for IE in this one as a 0-3 NPI would be shocking but I just don’t see NPI losing to a team they should carry against. NO PUNT INTENDED BY 4
ULTIMATE WARRIORS VS NO PUNT INTENDED +6: UW have killer new unis and are killing it on offense. NPI is 0-2 and look like a hot mess. UW under a different name are your reigning and defending D4 champs. They can score some points but we all know UW can be exploited over the top by a fast team right up the middle. NPI will need to play smart and attack the deep middle when the opportunity present itself. NPI is up against it this week as they have 2 tough tests and they must split at the very least to get back in the race. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 6
3RD AND SCHLONG +7 VS STEVE’S CUZ’INS: This is the game to be watching. The Keller Nation is a walking Soap Opera right now as they are in the middle of some of this league’s biggest storylines. We have a love triangle, we have a love square and now we have a love hexagon. I am literally confused at this point. After all these soap operas 3AS is 0-2 and MUST win this game. SCI are really good as they boast one of the most under-rated QBs in the game today. Their supporting cast is battle tested as they can bring the thunder this week. Katie Keller was money last session but one must now wonder if the soap operas are just taking their toll on her. I know what you are thinking and I agree if she just married 40 yr plan guy we could just move on to the wedding and not worry about the drama. But we and she loves the drama….. STEVE CUZ’INS BY 8
DIVISION #5
ACE VS UFO +8: ACE is reeling and couldn’t be happier to see UFO on this week’s schedule. ACE has skill all over the field they just are not using it properly. They can run with the Angels but their plan was just fatally flawed. UFO is 0-3 and is struggling to score. I see UFO once again having scoring problems against a team that will be coming to town hopping mad. Look for ACE to score early and often as they must win this game and win big to restore their shattered confidence. ACE BY 10
HUNG BUFFALO +8 VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN: AWDIQ has it on cruise control as usual. They even survived HNR last week though HNR was short handed. Next up is a tough Hung Buffalo squad who comes to town at 2-1. They have looked solid on offense and have played smothering defense. AWDIQ has a big speed edge they should use to their advantage this week. I see a decent one here I just don’t see HB running with the youngsters of AWDIQ. AWDIQ could finally be due. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 9
VANDALAY INDUSTRIES +6 VS COME FROM BEHIND: CFB looked awful after 2 games then Paul made his glorious return and BOOM CFB is now 2-2 and right back in the race. This game should be a good one. VI can score but do they have the legs to run with some of the burners on CFB? I don’t think so either. Let’s be honest, there really is only one question to ask who you got the Topper QB’d team or the Paul QB’d team? Survey says all 100 people voted Paul QB’d team hell even Topper voted for Paul. COME FROM BEHIND BY 6
WITTER’S +7 VS CUNNING STUNTS: Witter’s is in the 7 hole as of right now at 1-2 and they have been up and down. Their offense is struggling a tad and their defense has been good and bad. They obviously need to get to the Coach Jay football camp this Saturday at 10am. This is imperative. I can only imagine how angry a certain captain of Witter’s is right now knowing that the greatest TSLer of all time, I of course am speaking of Joey Batts, is coming to town. CS has been bombs away on O but they can tend to let points up on defense. Witter’s has a shot in this one but they will need to bring their A game. CUNNING STUNTS BY 3
MATTY’S ANGELS VS HOPE N RUIN +6: MA was folding money last week as they literally trampled ACE. They killed them on offense and played decent defense. They are averaging like 44 a game when you do that you are going to win a lot of ball games. HNR might be the champs but they have not started out so hot as they are now 0-3. Yes they have had attendance issues but they need more from an offense that is struggling. They are heading to a shootout with an offense that scores at will. They might be heading to a gun fight with a sling shot in their hands. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 8
DIVISION #6
CELINO SEWER RATS VS THE PRACTICE SQUAD +3: CSR seem to be back on top this session. Their offense has been clicking and their defense has been lights out. TPS is still a super solid team in D6 but their offense seems to have regressed a tad. It is quite apparent this game will be a battle of 2 of the top 3 teams in the division. CSR has run over everything TSL has trotted in front of them. I expect a close game here but I am not sold yet on the TPS offense. TPS will have a big girl edge but can their offense keep up with CSR, that is the question of the day. CELINO SEWER RATS BY 4
TIGHT END ZONES +8 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: TMA looked good and is benefiting from Coach Jay and his football camp techniques which makes them instantly better. TEZ is 0-2 and their problems begin and end on defense as they are giving up almost 40 a game. TMA needs a slump buster and TEZ should be it. TMA is loaded with all kinds of skill players they just need to get everyone on the same page and they too should score at least 30. TEZ has shocked teams in D6 before so this game will not be a cake walk. For TMA to get back in the hunt they need to win this game and win it big. I think they will. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 8
5 Questions for Saturday
1. For the first time in a very long while Eyes Downtown will be feeling some pressure, how will they react after their stunning loss to HATBF last week? Angry Buffalo has been improving week after week they could surprise this week.
2. If Hope N Ruin loses to Matty’s Angels and falls to 0-4 will they still make the playoffs or are they in a whole heap of trouble? Your guess is as good as mine.
3. Is Practice Squad always destined to be a D6 also ran or will they finally fix their offensive woes and beat up on Celino Sewer Rats? They are very talented but must get more from their offense. CSR are no slouch so this game should be a good one. The winner of this one will no doubt be the team that should face Peachy Platoon in the D6 finals.
4. 3 straight weeks 3 straight prizes. When are we going to spin the prize or punishment wheel and get a punishment? Inquiring minds want to know.
5. How much pressure is No Punt Intended feeling right now? They are off to a 0-2 start and have 2 tough games with Indecent Exposure and Ultimate Warriors looming. At this rate with NPI be facing 3AS in the Super Bowl or Toilet Bowl?
10ish Final Thoughts for Saturday
1. The game I have my eye on is in D3 where (2) of our biggest stars have at it when A&A has at it with Gryffindor. Matty Ice vs Joey Batts is a main event level feud. Both guys are not only at the top of their division but each could easily be your TSL MVP this session. This is the week Jeremy Burr must deliver for the Gryff to have a chance. The A&A girls are wicked fast and could take this game over.
2. I was expecting more from the Sticky Bandits offense to date. 69 points through 3 games is not what they are used to. This team still boasts a top end QB and has a ton of smart savvy vets. Team Topper is up next week. The good news is SB will make the playoffs as everyone but Cobblestone and Uncle Rico will be safe but a loss to Topper might hurt their confidence.
3. 3rd and Schlong has not looked good in 2 early season losses to both Puckett All Stars and Cintas. Now a very good Steve’s Cuz’ins is up next. With Katie Keller, 40 Year Plan Guy and now SR all embroiled in the Greatest TSL Love Hexagon of all times will they have time to save their season?
4. I had a chance to read both The Mentalist and View from the Top. Great work buddy you hit 2 doubles. Call me when you can string 10 or 11 solid articles in a row. I’ll start the clock on how long it takes before “that” writer joins the like of Zoltar, the Toppers Power Couple and Lord knows who else who have come and gone.
5. I don’t think there is a team in this league that needed a bye week more than Racks and Sacks. Sometimes its good to just get away a week and re-charge the battery. While re-charging the battery it would also be a good time to re-educate yourself with the rule book as well.
6. Ladies and Gentlemen if you could please help us on this issue it would be greatly appreciated. Our refs are doing the best job they can do. I for one think the refs have been doing a great job. Rameer has done a great job scheduling and making sure all refs are doing their best with our rule books and making sure games are starting and ending on time. With that being said, it has been known since this league started that refs are paid $20 by each team per game. This is nothing new. Please have your money ready to give to the refs at the coin flip. I am hearing in some cases that players are getting lazy and “forgetting” and this is starting to become an issue with some officials. Please be advised we are letting our refs know that if they aren’t getting paid pre-game we will not start games and if it is still an issue we will just hand out forfeit losses. You have 8-10 people on your team this should not be an issue. For teams that are following procedure thank you to those that aren’t please improve we are not asking a lot here.
7. Is ACE ready to be upset? Obviously they did not win the “Game of the Decade.” Will this loss be something they can recover from or are they heading for disaster? UFO has struggled mightily in D5 most notably on offense. ACE got run over last week for 53 points. If UFO squeaks out the win ACE could be in trouble the rest of the season. I will watching this game very closely this week.
8. The question I am hearing most this week is simply will the Topper Sports/Game On Sports Football Tournament actually become a reality? As of right now I can’t answer that as we are waiting for some form of answer from Game On Sports. My hope is that this definitely becomes a reality.
9. I wonder if JZ is about to make good on his “attempt” to make a bet in week #1 where he claimed that he could easily cover Jeremy Burr all day and basically shut him down. I see Gryffindor on the schedule this week for A&A. I, like the TSL Universe, would love to see JZ V Jeremy Burr this week 1 on 1.
10. I got to thinking do you think The Ultimate Warriors of D4 and “playboy” Joe Russell know each other exist? It almost seems like a no brainer than JR should be the new leader of UW, hell he’s dressed just as money as UW each week. Assuming Stegs joins 3AS next session could JR be heading for UW?
11. ***** Coach Jay has said he will run a short 1 hour football camp at 9:00 am this week. Please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I can inform Coach Jay you or teammates will be attending. There is no charge we are just trying to help football players get better. Trust me after 1 hour with Coach Jay you will be better whether you know it or not.
KATIE KELLER+ D1 GUY + 40 YEAR PLAN GUY X MOLLY MORGAN+ SR /MYSTERY WOMAN/TEAM TOPPER GIRL=NIIIIIIIIICE
LOVE HEXAGONS RUUUUUUUUUUUULE
week 2 thoughts, picks, and cousin steve stuff
- Details
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Created: Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:12
- Published: Wednesday, 12 September 2018 18:12
- Written by Patrick McGovern
- Hits: 8777
“The Kensey’s are like the first family of football but Cousin Steve outlasted them all. He also might be the best Kensey alive. Kid deserves to be your TSL MVP.”
“ I tried to play defense and stop the guy but it was literally impossible. His passes were like magical spirals that just twisted so magically in the wind. It’s like you knew where he was going but you just couldn’t stop him.”
“The three greatest humans of the last 100 years in no particular order must be Mother Theresa of Calcutta, Dr Leo Marvin and Cousin Steve Kensey.”
“Why do they keep calling me Tony.”
Enter Week #2……
If this was a baseball game TSL would have hit a stand up triple on opening day. The stars emerged both on and off the field as fun was had by all. We laughed and we cried and one young lady around 7:00 almost fucked a camaro but I digress……
The Topper’s Wheel of Hope spun and spun until a nice shiny $100 gift card found the hands of one Scott Keller Jr. Jr decided to spin wheel #2 and now 40 yr plan guy gets to play 18 holes of miniature golf with Molly Morgan. See all our stories always have a happy ending. On Saturday Sept 15th chapter #2 will be written. Will a new star emerge? Has a new love triangle slowly started to come into focus? Why isn’t Joe K on the prize or punishment wheel? BTW does young Topper look like Mathew Broderick or John Cusack, enquiring minds want to know. Well 46 teams took the field of battle. We had very little sub squabbling and everyone seemed to follow the rules. Battle of the Sexes flip cup emerged and it was a site to behold. D3 is a hot mess. Captain Lou, Maggie and JZ found their ways to A&A, Newman is now throwing for SITE and he couldn’t have joined quick enough, Burr and Joey Batts formed the greatest heel tag team in history and Garrett Beesing finally left the #icon to join the evil empire of Bullet Club. No one has a clue what happens next but it will be one hell of a ride.
Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out……………
DIVISION #1
RACKS AND SACKS +3 VS PUBLIC ENEMY: Well RAS vs PE can only mean one thing PE is about to play shorthanded. Guess what PE is once again going to be short handed. If these 2 are both at 100% PE probably wins by 8 but this will not be the case this week. Dave Chelus looked pretty good last week for not playing for a while. He still has a rocket launcher and has a decent supporting cast. It was nice to see Margo back as well. In a few week’s time she should be back to normal and will reclaim her title as one of this games best. RAS should find holes in a very depleted secondary in route to an easy win. RACKS AND SACKS BY 7
MARKETING MAYORS VS RACKS AND SACKS +8. RAS is catching a break as they are playing a very short handed PE and MM this week. I am hearing MM will be short handed as well this week. I did hear that a solid female player is back with MM and this should make them a lot better. Having Kevin Zak full time should also help as his speed will be welcome. RAS will have a big size edge that they can use to their advantage. Chelus should just stay away from Andy Smith and attack the non Smith side literally all day for them to have a chance. MARKETING MAYORS BY 1
HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH +7 VS ANGRY BUFFALO: HATBF got their first taste of D1 last week and things did not go well. One can’t help but think this could be the Lindsay coming out party. Girl has sick skills and now that Maggie is MIA one would think the HATBF should beat up on the AB girls this week. Even if AB keeps Lindsay in check the #2 girl for HATBF should run circles around the MM girls. AB has some fire power and will need it as the 2’s and 3’s of HATBF are suspect. I think HATBF needs Bro in their secondary as he is their 2nd best safety. If HATBF slows down the chuck and duck stuff and just simplifies the game plan and goes after 8-10 yard gains they could pull the shocker this week. ANGRY BUFFALO BY 3
#XTC +3 VS ANGRY BUFFALO: Kellie Mazur could be in for a big game this week. Tommy Hughes looked 10 yrs younger last week as he was dealing. This is a big week for Angry Buffalo. Last week could not have gone any worse than it did. Losing a game isn’t a big deal it’s what happened after. If AB circles the wagons and gets back on track they will be fine. There is a slight chance the whole “Maggie thing” could have cost them the room. If that happens AB will be in trouble as it is tough to recover from things when you lose the room. #XTC is coming at a perfect time for a team that must win this week. ANGRY BUFFALO BY 6
TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION VS #XTC +6: TEIM had ED on the ropes but did not use their brains. I keep watching TEIM and keep thinking the same thing, this team is in dire need of a leader. I believe that leaders name is Tiger and it is now time for him to take over and have his team follow. TEIM has talent all over the field and should make short work of #XTC if they use their brains and play smart. It’s time to have a long talk on defense. Your best cover guy gets their best WR and so on and so forth. Sometimes feelings get hurt but winning is more important than hurting feelings. Zones are great but you need to line your best people up on their best people for zones to be successful. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 4
DIVISION #2
Doesn’t exist just keep reading…….
DIVISION #3
GRYFFINDOR VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY +4: The stars will be out for this one. This is the day Drew gets to see if he truly is one of the divisions best or if he is just another name we will soon forget. Joey Batts and Burr could be the greatest heel tag team in history. Drew must cover Burr and he must win. This will not be easy. Burr is the scary monster that sleeps under Drews bed. Burr is waiting for Drew. Will Drew step up and claim his spot amongst the greatest names in the game today or will the boogey man pop out of Drew’s closet and haunt him in his dreams all season? Oh BTW Brother Nero also plays for Gryffindor and should feast on the #2 cover guy of Team Topper. GRYFFINDOR BY 7
UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS +6 VS COBBLSETONE: All eyes will be on Darryl Carr QB superstar this session. There are those that do not understand his move to stay in D3. URTT also is in D3 and that makes just as little sense. To be honest both these squads should be battling it out in D4 next session. Darryl Carr QB superstar is easily this league’s best player so maybe he can conjure up the spirits of seasons past and take his team on one more magical ride. Cobblestone is usually one of the toughest teams to beat in their first game. COBBLESTONE BY 3
BULLETT CLUB VS COBBLESTONE +10: We mine as well call this “Beesing Bowl” as that’s all that matters in this one. Garrett Beesing is one of the games finest and did the unthinkable when he left former team Cobblestone to join the evil empire. Easton to Beesing will be a combo that most teams in D3 will have no answer for. I know they threw up 35 last week but one must ask the question, was it really that impressive to beat a Matty Iceless A&A by only 6 last week? Let’s hope Darryl Carr summons more former NFL TE’s for this game it would be classic. BULLET CLUB BY 11
DMX VS A&A +3: DMX looked right at home in D3 last week as they rolled over the Sticky Nation. A&A was without their leader but only lost by 6. I also am hearing rumors the calvary is coming. A&A could now easily have the best girls in the division. DMX is all about the offense so this one should be a shootout. Johnny Football did a number on his foes last week one can only wonder what he has cooked up this week. Who the heck will show up for A&A this week? If they get everyone this game could be a war. DMX BY 4
MORNING WOOD +3 VS BULLET CLUB: Oh tis one should be good. These two teams are loaded. MW has David “D Dub” Wilborn while The Club counters with Garrett Beesing. Both QBs have rocket launchers, both teams have solid girls. This could be the game of the day. If you like good football this is the game for you. I think BC might have an edge as they played last week while MW will be coming in cold. That could cause some timing and early chemistry issues. I fully expect Wilborn and Beesing to both put on shows with multiple touch downs. This game will be on the defenses. The team that plays better defense wins this game. Bullet Club by 1
DIVISION #4
CINTAS VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +7: IE is back and look to build upon a decent season last go round. What else can you say about Cintas? They are led by the greatest player in the game today. Joey Batts is your reigning and defending TSL MVP. He will take the field of battle and I am sure he will once again lead his team to victory as there truly is no mathematical way to stop the man. IE is a very balanced very intelligent team. They should give Cintas all they can handle and more this week. CINTAS BY 3
TUNE SQUAD +7 VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS: I was not expecting UW to get pummeled but that’s exactly what happened. The good news is that they once again are sporting kick ass uni’s . They look the part now they must play the part. TS is a newb so I reckon they will need a week or two to understand and figure out the game in D4. UW is battle trusted this should carry them to victory. ULTIMATE WARRIORS BY 7
HK7 VS BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS +3: HK7 lost a shoot out to PAS last week while BSS shocked the world when they dusted up NPI. Could BSS be ready to turn the corner and set their sights on the D4 trophy? I didn’t think so either. HK7 has a very talented QB and a girl that can flat out go. They need more from their supporting cast. BSS is once again at a crossroads. They shocked NPI, if they can shock HK7 this week they could slowly start their way up the ladder. HK7 BY 4
DIVISION #5
UFO +3 VS WITTERS: Both these squads were trying to find a way into the D5 dance last season Witter’s lost a bunch early then went on a tear. UFO was up and down. UFO must get more on offense than 14 as that will not get you into the dance. Witter’s has a very solid QB and they have awesome uniforms. Last time out these 2 played a great game. This time out both will know that if they are fighting for a top 8 spot games like this are huge. WITTERS BY 6
COME FROM BEHIND +1 VS HUNG BUFFALO: CFB got crushed by Joey Batts and his Cunning Stunts. They threw up 44 on a usually stout defense. HB beat UFO 23-14 in a game that was expected to finish like that. HB is one tough team on both sides of the ball. CFB can be an up and down team, they are battle tested and are prone to have a clunker every now and again. It all begins and ends at QB for CFB. I think HB is ready to take a stab at the title this session. HUNG BUFFALO BY 6
ACE VS HOPE N RUIN +3: Oh it is so on! This is like Michigan vs Ohio State of D5. These teams are familiar foes as they know each other well. ACE V HNR is always worth the price of admission. Ronny K is back and will want to make a statement this week. HNR added a burner so they have addressed their speed concerns. ACE might be looking towards the game of the decade vs Matty’s Angels soon but they are catching HNR at a great time as HNR always starts slow then slowly gets on track as playoffs quickly approach. I see ACE capitalizing late and taking this one at the end. ACE BY 1
CUNNING STUNTS +1 VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN: AWDIQ beat up on long time foe ACE Last week. They played tough D and scored enough to win. CS looked awesome last week and they should have as Joey Batts is the greatest leader of modern times. AWDIQ has speed and they are chippy so this one could get out of hand quickly as a few of CS likes to chirp back. AWDIQ has a ton of balance and a lot of speed. I am very interested to see how this one pans out. I am still waiting for AWDIQ to take home the D5 title but they keep underwhelming. This could all change this season. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 3
MATTY’S ANGELS VS VANDALY INDUSTRIES +6: VI shocked HNR and that has this writer and many others surprised. They looked quick, fresh and ready to win some games. MA had a solid week #1 win against Witter’s but Bro was at the helm it is safe to assume Matty will be back. I am curious to see if the older slower legs of VI can keep up with the younger rabbits of MA. It’s almost like MA should just hit VI with quick slants and let their girls chug out the YACS. VI would be smart to ISO the eastern bloc as there is a tremendous height advantage there. I highly doubt the Topper will notice this but he should. A 6’4” guy can’t miss against a 5’7” girl safety. MATTYS ANGELS BY 4
DIVISION #6
PASSLESS CHAPS +13 VS PEACHY PLATOON: PC did not look good last week. They also did not look good the season before. They need more on offense. They need to simplify and just go out there and get 6-8 yards per play. It isn’t tough to run out 5-7 yards and stop then have your QB just throw you the ball. PP played a middle of the road Jabronies and handled themselves well. 20 points is nothing to scoff at. PS is up against it this week. They have 2 tough tests and will need to show well or the season could already be getting out of control for them. PEACHY PLATOON BY 10
PEACHY PLATOON +7 VS TIGHT END ZONES: TEZ is back and looking to build on a very solid season #1. They are a decent team that plays tough on both sides of the ball. The honestly are a very tough team to figure out. Some weeks they light it up and some weeks they get rolled over. PP matched up well against a ho hum Jabronies last week and will once again get a stiff test with this team. The winner of this one should settle into the top 4-5 of D6 while the loser could be in the bottom half of the division. TIGHT END ZONES BY 3
PASSLESS CHAPS +1,234,453 VS PRACTICE SQUAD: Oiy vey this one should be interesting PS was the odds on favorites in D6 then they went out and signed the best player in D6 last session. The rich keep getting richer. PS should have their way with a team that is still finding their way in the TSL. PS needs to keep their heads up and just focus on small gains on offense. If the zone doesn’t work just go to man its easier. PS is dialed in on both sides of the ball so they should have a field day with a team that is not ready for their fire power. Renee should feast on a very unsuspecting female corps of PC. PRACTICE SQUAD A LOT TO A LITTLE
THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS +6 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: I am so excited for Gordon’s debut. CSR beat up on PS literally and figuratively last week. Let’s hope things don’t get out of hand in this one. BPE is yet another gender team to enter the fray. This time they are led by Gordon who has vowed to bring fun, excitement and a hoot hollering good time to all around him. I give him 3 minutes into the first game before he goes off on either an opponent or a teammate. As for the game CSR is battle tested and BPI is just finding their way CSR should roll in this one. CELINO SEWER RATS BY 10
5 Questions for Saturday
1. Has Angry Buffalo lost the room? It is not easy when you lose your best girl ”just like that”. Now (2) of the divisions best girls are heading their way. Anything less than 2-0 this week against two teams they should beat easily will be concerning. Nick Sooch will be needed big time this week. Sooch will just need to let it fly against (2) very giving secondaries. AB has a lot of talent on their side of the field they will need it this week.
2. Will Drew show up or throw up this week? Burr is the boogeyman that is living rent free in his head. Drew must play the game of his life against easily the best player he has ever seen. Drew will be tested early and often. Will Drew show up or will he cave under the pressure in one of the biggest games of his career?
3. How long will it be until Gordon goes from happy Gordon to bipolar Gordon? I say it’s in the first drive, 57 seconds in, and he makes one of his girl WR’s cry. If you have a vote please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Maybe we could turn this into a money pool of some sort each week if we get enough interest.
4. The balance of power in D3 could be up for grabs this week. Who ya got TSL Beesing or Wilborn?
5. How did Hope N Ruin go from D5 champ to the #10 team in D5 after just one week? They have a very tough test coming this week with ACE. They better be ready for bedlam.
10 Final Thoughts for Saturday
1. The game I have my eye on this week is in D3 where A&A and DMX have at it. I am expecting a minimum of 80 points amongst both teams. If you like offense this is the game for you. I think A&A will have a huge edge now that they have fortified their females corps. DMX counters with a QB that can sling and a very solid stable of male WR’s. This has shootout written all over it.
2. All eyes will be on “Beesing Bowl” this week when Cobblestone and Bullet Club meet once again. Now that CS has lost their second best player one can only wonder where Darryl will throw the ball. We are constantly evolving will Darryl be the first QB to start throwing the ball to himself? The only chance Cobblestone has in this one is if Tim Dove is on the clock this week.
3. TEIM had ED on the ropes last week but did not use their brains. Getting Kyle Coniff was a huge add but if you have a corvette in the garage you don’t throw a cover over it you take it out and put your foot on the gas. I am very curious to see if TEIM learned anything from last week or are they in store for a “sophomore slump.”
4. ACE and Hope N Ruin re-kindle a very long and storied rivalry. It was nice to see the field General Ronny K back at the helm. HNR looked lost last week but they are notoriously slow starters. Getting the fast guy from the Tammy’s was a huge FA signing. ACE has speed to burn so this one should be good.
5. All we do is Quinn VS Cunning Stunts should be a classic. These two teams are both (2) of the better teams in D5. Quinn is loaded with speed everywhere. CS has some of the best girls in the division and obviously TSL’s best player. I could see this game going either way. I expect some chirping and chippyness in this one.
6. I am beginning to think The Practice Squad is in a league of their own and they are about to run away with D6. They are loaded on both sides of the ball. I just don’t see any team coming even close to stopping them.
7. I just looked at the D4 basement and I saw 3rd and Schlong, Ultimate Warriors and No Punt Intended in the bottom 3. It’s true what they say anything can happen on Any Given Saturday. D4 looks to be this league’s finest as I could make a case for 5 or 6 teams to take home the title.
8. I really think SITE will not be 1—8 this session. They actually have a pretty solid team as I expect them to take another step forward this session.
9 . I was thinking Gryffindor was going to run away with D3 but now I am thinking you could make a case for Bullet Club, A&A, Morning Wood, DMX or Gryffindor. D3 looks to be a loaded division. Topper has to be so mad as he has a solid team but alot of teams went went crazy in FA while Topper stood still.
10. Don’t forget at 2: 00 we will have another Topper Wheel of Hope Spin. We will be giving away another $100 Angry Buffalo gift certificate and then another chance to spin the ”prize or punishment wheel.” We have also decided to add 2 “free shot for everyone slots” on the wheel. If one of these 2 slots hit we will buy a shot for everyone standing at the bar for the spin (limit 1 hit only on the shot slot per Saturday)
Saturday 2: 00 Topper Wheel of Hope Wheel Spin BE THERE!!!!!!