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Well, we made it.

 

It took a lot of hard work by a lot of people, including YOU, the TSL universe, but we got to the last week of the #TSL2020 regular season.

 

This is the last week of fun before the race for social co-ed football immortality begins yet again. There isn’t a TON on the line this week, as everyone makes the playoffs this season. Yes, some teams will earn a bye week, and perhaps a “higher” seeding means an easier first round matchup, but let’s face it: Seeding doesn’t matter in the TSL. The playoffs are a different animal, and any seed can win. We see upsets all of the time. Just last season, D2 had 3 major contenders for the championship. All of them lost and we got a 5 vs 6 seed matchup. Cobblestone beat a highly touted En Fuego team in a result that nobody saw coming. (We’ll ignore what happened afterwards) The #1 seed tends to not win the division championship more often than you’d think. Just ask All We Do Is Quinn.

 

So, what does this week bring us? Fun. Family. Togetherness.

 

Next weekend, and the Championship Weekend after? Those weeks are for being blood thirsty co-ed football superstars on the field. Go for the gold, and all of that.

 

But let’s take this week to celebrate this season. Let’s have fun out there, and just enjoy playing football together. The results don’t completely matter. Let’s not scream at the refs, or blame each other for a dropped pass. Let’s not fight about things that just truly, do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Let’s just be the football family we all love to be this weekend.

 

And don’t forget, Topper worked his ass off harder than he ever did before this season so that ALL of you could have fun. So, let’s have a party this weekend, and celebrate the fact that we even got to play any football at all. Don’t let Topper pay for a drink. Give him a beer, a shot, a phone number, anything. He deserves it. I know for a fact I speak for everyone when I say this:

 

Thank you, Topper.

 

You’re the best, my friend.

 

With that, let’s talk about some games and all that jazz. As always, the lines are given to me by the TSLQBPRC. . . go yell at them.

D1:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Why So Serious? 31, Eyes Downtown 22

Tight Ends In Motion 29, Marketing Mayors 28

Public Enemy 49, Why So Serious? 48

Tight Ends In Motion 47, Eyes Downtown 30

 

Well, that was a hell of a week for the D1 standings. Just when it seems that D1 is pretty obviously a 3 horse race, Why So Serious? AND TEIM go on out and get themselves a QB. All of a sudden, Pete is catching TDs instead of throwing passes that end up dropped, and Tight Ends is playing like they always felt they should’ve been! Eyes Downtown loses twice, but everyone knows they weren’t at full strength. Public Enemy had to squeak by WSS though, and perhaps they’re not as dominant as once thought? In the blink of an eye, D1 has a lot of mystery and intrigue in it.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Marketing Mayors vs Gryffindor (+5) – The Mayors ended up casually losing to TEIM, but I’m sure that they won’t suffer the same fate here, right? Right? The whispers of perhaps the Mayors having an overrated QB who just luckily has All-Galaxy player Andy Smith on the team are growing louder by the week. Look for them to silence them, for now. MARKETING MAYORS BY 12

 

Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (+2) – It’s on, maybe. Yes, this should be a celebrated marquee game but every time I hype it up, it’s been cancelled for one reason or another. I can’t do much more hyping here. These are the two best teams in the league when they want to be, but the murderous blood feud it used to be just doesn’t feel like it’s there anymore. Expect a nice, quiet game where everyone holds hands in a circle afterwards. Once these teams meet in the playoffs, that’s when we’ll get back to crack back blocking, elbows to the ribs, and Boccio pulling on everyone’s jerseys. Then, it’ll be ON. But for now? PUBLIC ENEMY BY 1, I GUESS.

 

Gryffindor vs Why So Serious? (+4) – Why So Serious had a hell of a week. If you would’ve bet me a million dollars last week that they’d beat ED and then only lose to PE by 1 (and could’ve won the game if Kedron didn’t lose the battle versus math), id have taken that wager twice. So what happened? Well, they got themselves a QB, which means they gain Pete as a WR. “Q” is apparently an up and coming star in the league, and I was just notified they have Beth Zygmunt too! Things seem to be trending up for WSS and I’m a fan of it. As for Gryffindor, it just feels like Joey Batts has been too quiet this season. Is he okay? WHY SO SERIOUS BY 3

 

Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+1) – I think it’s crazy that TEIM is getting the point after they just beat the Mayors, but the truth is MM is just better on paper. Now they have a reason to be a little inspired. Here’s hoping these two meet in the playoffs. MARKETING MAYORS BY 2

 

Tight Ends In Motion vs Why So Serious? (+7) – Both of these teams are playing good football right now, after horrendous starts to the season. New QB’s will do that for a team. It’ll be fun to see which team gels with their new guy faster. Hint: It’s Tight End. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 10

 

 

D2:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Jabronies 44, Bullet Club 18

Dilfs 49, HORBRAUHAUS BUFFALO 34

Morning Wood 50, Peachy Platoon 29

Sticky Bandits 33, Slytherin That End Zone 30

Slytherin That End Zone 48, Peachy Platoon 42

 

For those that were downplaying the loss of Dean for Peachy Platoon, look no further than this week right here. Without Dean, they lose by 21 points to Morning Wood, who is playing much better then people realize. With Dean, yes, they lost on a last second TD to SITE in what was apparently a crazy entertaining game the entire time. Lots of scoring in the final few minutes of the second half. D2 is great because anyone can win it, but the Dilfs look like they’re going to defend their title. They came out and stomped on Team Topper, and just have the entire division on notice. Jabronies came out and did some stomping of their own on Bullet Club, as they just continued to hit long bomb after long bomb. Ben Stack was doing some work out there. Sticky continues to play close games, and they pulled out a big win against SITE.

 

This Week’s Games:

Dilfs vs Sticky Bandits (+5) – The top contender for the Dilfs’ throne shows up this week, and I’m hearing they’ve even put a bet on this game! That’s spectacular. Anyway, the Dilfs are clearly a better team when Dubey shows up, which isn’t a surprise. Apparently, he’s been showing up a lot more than usual this season too. Sticky Nation always shows up. They run like 13 people deep, but it works for them. Mike Thomas is quietly becoming a star, and a big showing here could really get him the league publicity he probably doesn’t want. DILFS BY 3

 

Jabronies vs Slytherin That End Zone (+4) – SITE has looked a little off without Taylor Pagano the last few games, but I believe she’s due to return for this contest. Jabronies have been on cruise control a little bit, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re talented up and down the roster, and there isn’t a team they can’t beat in the division. I really do think SITE wants this one a bit more. They’ve fallen off a smidge, and if not for a miracle win last week, they’d be in some trouble. Take the over in this game. JABRONIES BY 3

 

Morning Wood vs Bullet Club (+3) – Double Header alert! These two teams are pretty evenly matched, even if neither one realizes it. They’ve had some great games in the past, and these two games should be no different, if both teams show up. Bullet Club got Joe K back from injury, but they ended up losing their best player in Zach Newberry. That’s not exactly an even trade. Morning Wood seems to be rolling a bit right now, while Bullet Club seems to be going through their usual roster issues. MORNING WOOD BY 10 BOTH GAMES

 

HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs Peachy Platoon (+9) – HB and the Platoon look to battle yet again. The truth is that Peachy just isn’t the same without Dean. While they have talent, and more than likely have the best group of 4 females on any roster in the league, we’ve seen what a subpar QB can do to them. HB knows all about having a subpar QB, however, and they’ve built their offense around that. They’re looking to keep the season going in the right direction. HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO BY 3

 

D3:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Vaspian 22, All We Do Is Quinn 20

Frodo Swaggins 16, Grey Hair Don’t Care 13

Scared Hitless 44, En Fuego 30

 

Is there anyone playing better than Scared Hitless right now? It’s probably just the pocket on the new jerseys, but something has gotten them going. They were ripping En Fuego apart before letting them get closer in garbage time. They’ve finally realized to use their talented girls as much as possible, and QB Dylan gets better each week. Grey Hair, meanwhile, seems to get worse each week, scoring only 13 points. Of course, they only held Frodo to 16, so that’s saying something. Finally, you read that right. Vaspian got a big win over AWDIQ. If Quinn learned anything this past week, it’s to take Vince, wrap in him in bubble wrap, and have him stay home until the playoffs. Things do NOT look good for this team if he can’t play.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Vaspian vs The Untouchaballs (+3) – It’s really cool to see Vaspian get a win against Quinn, but let’s be real, they did it against a person who rarely ever plays QB. Things really went right for them in that one. The Untouchaballs still can’t play defense, but this group can SCORE. If Untouchaballs figure out how defense works even a TINY bit, they’ll take this one. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 7

 

Frodo Swaggins vs En Fuego (+11) – I find it so hard to believe that a team with Scotty Dro at QB could only muster 16 points last week. I can only assume then that he wasn’t there, the refs couldn’t do proper math OR they wrote “16” instead of “61”, or his team let him down. It HAS to be that he wasn’t there, right? Anyway, Frodo gets a few “gimme” games to end the season on to prep for playoffs. They’ve been cruising through the season for the most part, and while En Fuego will give them some fight, they’ll eventually fight each other and it’ll be a wrap. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 17

 

Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+11) – The Untouchaballs can score, we know, but maybe not against Frodo. Scotty is going to have a field day. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 20

 

Scared Hitless vs Vaspian (+4) – I’m sorry, but four points is a bit disrespectful for Scared Hitless. This line should be much higher. They hold an advantage over Vaspian in just about every facet of the game. That’s not meant to be a slight, it’s just what it is right now. SCARED HITLESS BY 13

 

D3/D4 Crossover Game:

 

All We Do Is Quinn vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+7) – Talk about your bad luck for BSS. Random schedule luck propelled them into not only a second crossover game, but a second one with AWDIQ. Absolutely fun fact here: BSS went 6-0 in D4, but could potentially go 0-2 against Quinn and they’ll miss out on the bye (barring them winning this game, OR The Angels losing to the Freeballers, which I mean, come on.) because of it. What bad luck! Then again, a game against the Freeballers is essentially a bye anyway. I know that BSS is going to be missing quite a few players this week, so it doesn’t look good for them in this one. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 15

 

D4:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Buffalo Solar Solutions 46, Family Feud And Some Dudes 32

The Angels 53, Cunning Stunts 35

Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers 46, Over Compensators 40

 

BSS moves to 6-0 in D4 with a win over FF. Meanwhile, even in a loss to Uncle Ricos, the OC showed they can compete with anyone in the division. They called their shot, and while they didn’t win, they showed that they can’t be overlooked! Finally, The Angels beat up on the Stunts, which is a shame. This is another rivalry that just doesn’t quite have the same juice it normally does. Of course, it’s much better when we have fans allowed too.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Angels vs Freeballers (+13) – The TSL’s version of the Tennessee Titans come back after a long layoff, and their reward is getting to play The Angels, who are humming along at the moment. This isn’t exactly what the Freeballers would want to see on their return. It’ll be interesting to see how they fair after having the time off. It doesn’t seem promising. THE ANGELS BY 24

 

Uncle Rico’s vs Family Feud (+14) – The scouting reports on FF are finally coming in and they’re pretty much what you figured. They’re a good offensive team who really know their X’s and O’s according to one scout. The problem they have is a non-existent defense that forces the offense to have to be perfect. Not having a good defense isn’t the best way to play Uncle Rico’s, who can easily have one of the most explosive offenses in the league, and a game like this is perfect for them. UNCLE RICOS BY 17

 

Cunning Stunts vs Over Compensators (+6) – The OC is getting 6 points in a matchup they’ve already won in the past. They’re starting to come on a bit, while something just feels off with the Stunts still. It’s weird to see them sitting at 2-5, much less giving up 314 points so far. This is a matchup that can favor the OC for sure. I’ll take the points on top of it. OVER COMPENSATORS BY 8

 

D5:

 

Last Week’s Games:

Practice Squad 26, Intentional Pounding 6

Cobblestone 28, Zack Attack 15

ILF 39, Pteratacos 26

TOX 36, Intentional Pounding 23

Pteratacos 43, ILF 10

 

What a weird double header from ILF and Pteratacos. First, ILF wins by 13, only to lose by 33 later on in the day? Very random. Darryl continues his magic as Cobblestone wins again, taking out Zack Attack. Topper lead TOX to a measure of revenge against Intentional Pounding, who had a rough week as they also drew having to play B and Practice Squad. PS looked good again, casually walking to a victory.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Cobblestone vs TOX (+3) – Two league legends square off in the QB battle of the century. There had BETTER be some sort of Topper vs Darryl bucket bet going on here. TOX are finally starting to figure it out as they grow together as a team, but Cobblestone is just on a roll. We can only hope for a Darryl vs B playoff game. COBBLESTONE BY 10

 

Practice Squad vs TOX (+12) – it doesn’t get any easier for TOX as they get to take on the rejuvenated Practice Squad with B at the helm. This is the sort of veteran leadership that this team needed to jump to the next level. Now lets hope they continue improving, because a date with Mountain Dew Me looms in the distance. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 17

 

Pteratacos vs Zack Attack (EVEN) -  This one will come down to who blinks first. These are two very evenly matched teams as one is 3-4, and the other is 3-4-1. One had a -8 point differential, the other -10. Like I said, its close. Look for Zack Attack to finally get their offense going in this one. ZACK ATTACK BY 4

 

Cobblestone vs Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (+3) – Honestly, it feels like both teams are playing very good football for themselves right now. The only problem for ILF is that Cobblestone’s brand of good football is a bit of a higher ceiling than theirs. COBBLESTONE BY 8

 

Practice Squad vs Zack Attack (+8) – Nothing trends towards this game going in Zack Attack’s favor. Their low scoring offense is going to be in trouble against PS’s Defense. And, well, their defense probably won’t be able to stop Practice Squad often enough to keep them in this one. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 12

 

Mountain Dew Me vs Intentional Pounding (+39) – Yes, you read that right. A 39 point spread might be the largest in this article’s history (okay, I may have given some teams infinity in the past and still picked them to lose, but still). This is just a mismatch across the board, and it isn’t fair. Honestly, I feel like all this does is give MDM something to shoot for. Somehow, I think they’ll actually do it. I’m sorry Kellers, I love you. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 40.

 

D6:

 

Last Week’s Games:

The Bambs 38, Blitzkrieg 24

Tater Tots 15, TMA 14

Graves Bros 46, The Bambs 32

Tater Tots 12, TMA 12

Blitzkrieg 48, Lenny’s Ladies 32

PC Plumbing 44, The BiPolar Express 18

 

The Tots and TMA had one hell of a double header this weekend, with a 1 point win for the Tots followed by a tie. These two teams couldn’t be any closer, although it appears that the Tots didn’t even use their starting QB for either game, which is good for them and bad sign for TMA. The Bambs showed everyone that last week was a fluke, going out and beating Blitzkrieg rather easily before dropping a big game against Graves Bros that was for first place in the division. Blitzkrieg would go on to get a measure of revenge against Lenny’s Ladies, where a ton of interceptions did the girls in. Lastly, PC Plumbing continues the up and down season as they walk all over BPX.

 

This Week’s Games:

 

The Bambs vs PC Plumbing (+2) – Two weeks ago this looked like a joke of a matchup, but PC Plumbing has just ramped it up recently. I guess they finally got their roster to start showing up, and it’s doing wonders for them, who knew? The Bambs are still one of the favorites to win D6, regardless of how badly they lost last week. This game is going to be much better than it looks on paper for sure. PC PLUMBING BY 3

 

Graves Bros vs The BiPolar Express (+4) – Graves Bros have asserted themselves as the D6 favorites. The division is very wide open though, which ultimately means anyone can beat anyone. BiPolar just hasn’t had the season they expected, as they’ve regressed a little bit this year. Roster issues haven’t been kind to them this year, so it’s hard to judge them when they aren’t playing with a full team. When the whole team is there, they can beat anyone. I’m just not sure this is the week to get that going. GRAVES BROS BY 11

 

Tater Tots vs Lenny’s Ladies (+2) – The Tots discovered “throw it to the tall guy” the last time these two teams met, and I’m sure we’ll see more of the same here this week. Lenny’s Ladies has looked good for their first season, in spite of Jeff Easton throwing 5 INTs last game. Once they learn how to play defense a little bit more, they’ll be really good. TATER TOTS BY 9

 

TMA vs Blitzkrieg (EVEN) – I know I said this is supposed to be a fun week for everyone, but this game is a must win for both sides. A win could potentially vault them into 2^nd place for the playoffs, while a loss could have them slip and play a much harder first round opponent. On top of those things, this is a game where Blitzkreig can be remembered. TMA is a TSL staple, and beating them can really open some eyes to the league. Allie on BK is becoming a breakout star, multiple people emailed me to tell me about her performance last weekend. TMA’s defense is fantastic. But the offense is holding them down. If QB Ryan figures out how to use his players properly, look out. There’s no way a team with Ron Webber, Val Testa, Brian Ferger, and Drunk Meg’s Brother should be averaging less than 22 points a game. This one will be interesting to see who wants it more. BLITZKRIEG BY 7

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:

 

1.      Can we keep this fantastic weather through the playoffs? As of right now, it’s going to be a gorgeous Saturday. Grab your sunscreen and your good vibes!

 

2.      Will Public Enemy and Eyes Downtown actually play? Here’s hoping so, and here’s hoping its more blood feud than friendly game.

 

 

3.      Who’s winning the most recent TSL “divorces”? Well, I think I’d rather be on Scared Hitless than Grey Hair currently, for sure. And to be honest, even though Intentional Pounding is a 39 point underdog this weekend, I’d still rather be on them than a part of that Freeballers mess.

 

4.      Can my team get a specific referee to never ref our games? No, stop asking. Regardless of what some of you may think, none of our refs are “out to get you”. And yes, there are multiple people across every division that think this weekly.

 

 

5.      Would we ever be able to have a gender team only division? That’s a fun question I got this week. I don’t think the math works out however. Unless we played only those games from that division at the same time, too often would a team have a shortened roster and it could be a mess. We have room for maybe one or two more gender teams, so who knows? But right now, I don’t think so. Plus, it’s always better when the girls beat up on the guys who underestimate them.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

1.      Fun, fun, fun. Seriously, just go have a great time and enjoy this league this weekend.

 

2.      Topper is currently unsure if there will be a banquet or not. A lot of things have to fall in place for it to be so.

 

3.      Teams on the rise: PC Plumbing, ILF, Morning Wood, Tight Ends In Motion, Why So Serious?

 

4.      Teams on the downswing: Bullet Club, Cunning Stunts, Grey Hair, Lenny’s Ladies, Zack Attack

 

5.      Best games of the week: TMA vs Blitzkrieg, En Fuego vs Grey Hair, Cunning Stunts vs Over Compensators, Public Enemy vs Eyes Downtown (probably)

 

6.      Shout Out to everyone that’s still following the rules every week, signing in, and leaving out of the correct exit. Double shout out to the TSL Field Crew for helping things run so smoothly!

 

7.      Keep your teams’ submissions for award nominations coming to Emily Curry. I’ve heard she’s gotten some good ones so far, and the more we hear from you the better!

 

8.      Don’t like something I’m saying or not saying? Seriously, do what everyone else does and email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

 

9.      More than a few people have requested that Travis not be in charge of the music anymore. Perhaps we should get a DJ, or at least a playlist people can add to? It’d have to be monitored of course. Just an idea.

 

10.   It’s times like these that I really miss Rameer and Lenny. The week before playoffs happen, just as it’s the calm before the storm. By this point in the season, Lenny would be telling me how he’s going to retire and probably never come back while the vein in Rameer’s forehead would be at maximum size. But at the same time? They’d both be smiling and enjoying the league they loved. How I wish I could have another phone call with either of them to talk about what’s going on there in Buffalo.

 

 

Enjoy yourselves this weekend, and take care of Topper. Next week, the real games begin.

 

 

-GF

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