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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe we’ve arrived to the final chapter of the TSL Spring 2024 season. The Race For Social Co-Ed is nearing its conclusion, and on Saturday, June 29th in the Year of Our Lord 2024 7 of the 24 surviving TSL teams will be crowned champions, and will forever live on in our hearts and minds. Core memories are going to be made for many people this weekend, but only a few of you will be the ones making good ones. 

 

Playoff Saturday lived up to the hype once again, as we had a little bit of everything. We had expected blowouts (The Malones 49, Bullet Club 8), and unexpected blowouts (Blitzkrieg 44, Sausage McMuffins 6), we had unexpected high scoring affairs (Buffalo Vice 66, Keller Whales 49), we had big comebacks (The Untouchaballs being down 20 points to Puckett before winning 42-36), we had upsets galore (lower seeded teams won 7 of the 21 games last week, with two #2 seeds going down), we even had forfeits if that’s your thing. The only thing we didn’t have was a #1 seed losing, and when you think of the first round struggles of Cunning Stunts and GUCCI, that’s a little more impressive than it sounds. 

 

Playoff Saturday taught us that once again, we know nothing. Anything can happen in the TSL when the greatest in the world of Social Co-Ed Football square off. Which is why I’ve contacted the TSL QB Power Rankings Committee to once again give me their collective insights on the games for Championship Saturday, just to see how wrong they’re going to be. On the plus side, you get two sets of predictions for what should be a crazy day in TSL history. It usually is. 

GF: Hey there TSLQBPRC. I figured I’d bother you guys once again for Championship Saturday since I know you’re not actually doing any work for the league this week over there with your “we take the last week off” nonsense. There should be a playoff QB rankings, by the way. I’ll get that started for you: 

 

1. Playoff B. 
2. Everyone else. 

 

But besides that, yet again TSL Playoff Saturday has once again proved to be one of the most exciting sports days in existence. Just look at the facts: we had 7 lower seeds pull off upsets, and from what I was told we were close to a couple of others as well. What really stood out to you guys last week? 

 

TSLQBPRC: I’m sorry, but did you not see all the charts and graphs in our last article? We NEED the last weeks off after compiling all of that. But you’re right, playoff QB ranking is easy when it’s B and then everyone else. Why can’t he summon that kind of power for the regular season??

 

So besides GUCCI winning a playoff game after a couple seasons of disappointing early exits, the biggest thing that stood out to me was the D3 race, which had three of those seven upsets you mentioned. The four teams left in D3 have point differentials on the season of -50 (practice squad), -37 (Buffalo Vice), -35 (let’s get Reccked), and +165 (the Malones). One of those things is not like the other. Is it a foregone conclusion that the Malones are winning D3?

 

GF: It’s felt that way for about a month now, hasn’t it? But when we dive into it, they WILL have to get through Playoff B, and then go against either a Vice squad that just dropped 66 points against D3’s #1 defense in the Keller Whales, or they get a Let’s Get Reccked squad that, if you recall, was the “Week 1 D3 champion” this season because their roster was “way too good”. LGR struggled all season with attendance and injuries, but they’re getting healthy and peaking at the right time. It isn’t inconceivable that LGR gives The Malones a run. Either way, it’s still fun to see that all of the #1 seeds survived, feels like a rarity these days. You mentioned GUCCI, but let’s not forget the Cunning Stunts getting out of the first round unscathed. The TSL has been waiting for the ladies to get that title, this might be their year. Can you believe that arguably the best regular season D4 team of the last 10 seasons combined has NEVER won a D4 title? Also, with the way the PowerPuff Girls have been playing, how likely do you feel it is that we’ll see TWO gender teams walk out of Championship Saturday with titles? 

 

TSLQBPRC: We could NOT believe that the Stunts have never won the D4 championship before.  In fact, we looked it up, convinced that you were wrong, but it’s confirmed: their last championship was D5 all the way back in Spring 2019.  They’ve been DOMINANT since then, but somehow haven’t sealed the deal in the playoffs.  We feel like their odds of winning this year are incredibly high… but PowerPuff Girls will have a harder road through D5.  Their biggest advantage (every TD is worth 8!) also applies to our quasi-gender team GUCCI, and when they played Travis Henry’s Kids earlier this season, they got destroyed.  Like all gender teams, they’re vulnerable to tall, high jumping male athletes like Pete Walbrandt… and also Dan The Wrestler from Stir the Sauce.  Throw in the fact that Kyle Conniff is (allegedly) out this week, and we’re not sure we love PowerPuff Girls’ chances of joining the Stunts in immortality.  But stranger things have happened.  Which division do we expect to see the biggest shocker of a champion?

 

GF: No Kyle? Who’s the backup QB for the PowerPuff Girls then? Is it just Maddie? In terms of which division would we expect to see the biggest shocker of a champion, I think that answer lies right where we’ve been focused: D5. GUCCI has finished #1 in the division before, they’ve always been one of the top teams, but they’ve always found a way to be thwarted in the playoffs. So GUCCI actually winning can give mild shock vibes, Stir The Sauce is a new team with a middle of the road Offense and Defense, we already mentioned the Powerpuff Girls won’t have their regular QB, and then there’s THK, where “Playoff Langley” might be the scientific explanation for why “Playoff B” exists. “For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction”. I know, this has to deal with motion, but it stands to reason that for Playoff B to have been born, the opposite had to also exist…and its playoff Langley. THK may have also won the award for “most complained about team this season” in terms of division placement, but realistically, they’ve struggled since leaving D6, so even them winning could be considered a shock. The other divisions don’t have that “shocking” winner we’d expect. (We don’t expect The Malones to lose, so that would be a complete and utter UNEXPECTED win for anyone else). D1 has it’s Top 2 remaining, D2 basically had the whole division with the same record to end the season, D4 has had a pretty clear cut Top 3 for a while, and D6 has it’s top three teams from the regular season (Pit Harade, Blitzkrieg, Back That Pass Up) still alive, so we don’t expect a Just Joshing feel good storybook win, qualifies as unexpected. D5 is the only division where whenever you hear who won the title, you can say to yourself “wow, they actually did it” for any team. Did you have someone else in mind? 

 

TSLQBPRC: Cody Stumpf is the backup QB for PowerPuff Girls, and they beat Tuddies earlier this season 44-7 with him playing.  So he’s either pretty decent, or the Tud Buds are just that bad.  But yeah, D5 is the division where someone’s going to overcome some adversity to win a title that usually eludes them.  Just Joshing in D6 is probably the most “shocking” team that could win another division right now outside of D3, and we just don’t see that happening.  Speaking of D3, does Practice Squad move BACK to D2 if they go on a run and win it all again?  The League needs to invent a D2 ½ for these guys.

 

GF: Well, the hottest TSL topic is divisional realignment isn’t it? If there ends up being a 6-8 team “new” D1, I think it’s fair to say Practice Squad could very easily slide up into the “new” D2 with 2-3 other current D3 teams anyway. But all of THAT sort of fun is for the offseason, it’s just fun to fantasize about. We’ll get going on the games this week in a second, is there anything else you’d like to add, touch on, or ask?

 

TSLQBPRC: Playoffs aside, where he was a disappointing no-show… It was cool having Topper back in the League this session.  Podcasts, at the bar, trying to throw a football (and failing), playing defense because he couldn’t QB anymore (and succeeding), it was amazing to have him back again this session.  Now we just need to talk him into doing Breakfast Club next session (if there IS a Breakfast Club in the Fall, which I’m told is still TBD?).  That being said, let’s talk about the games.

 

GF: That’s what everyone is here for anyway, right?

D1

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 Eyes Uptown 49, #4 Frodo Swaggins 14

#2 Sticky Bandits 37, #3 Eyes Downtown 26

 

The Story: The Top 2 seeds in D1 move on to the championship. Eyes Uptown look to get their title back, while Sticky looks to finally capture their first D1 title. 

 

#1 Eyes Uptown (6-2) vs #2 Sticky Bandits (5-3)

 

Points For: EU 36.50 (1st), Sticky 29.50 (3rd))

Points Against: EU 24.88 (1st), Sticky 27.13 (2nd)

TSL Rank: EU 5th, Sticky 18th

Past Games: 28-26 SB, 42-37 EU

Line: Eyes Uptown (-3)

GF: A classic D1 matchup between the top two seeds in the regular season. You guys are the special guests, so you can make your prediction first. 

 

TSLQBPRC: It turned into a battle of the top two seeds in the end, but remember just a few months back, we were all predicting an inevitable Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown rematch, and then Eyes Downtown just sort of collapsed.  Maybe they’ll do a 30 for 30 documentary on that some day, but they just did not seem like the team that was so dominant last Fall.  Either way, they’re out and the Sticky Bandits are in.  Do the Bandits have a chance?  Sure.  They’re underdogs, definitely, but they’ve played two close games against Eyes Uptown already this season, splitting the series.  Official prediction?  It should be Eyes Uptown winning their fourth championship in the last five seasons.  But it’ll come down to the last drive.  EYES UPTOWN BY 3.

 

GF: The collapse of Eyes Downtown (if only for a season) wasn’t on my TSL Bingo Board, that’s for sure. Sticky deserves a ton of credit, as they consistently shore up some holes in their roster every season. It’s been said a ton, but getting Maggie to rush is still a big win. Sticky deserves a D1 title, and I know they’ll get one someday, but this doesn’t feel like the time. Eyes Uptown has slightly better talent and have been playing slightly better than anyone else because of it. Plus Joey Batts might be playing some of the best football of his career. It all adds up to one thing: EYES UPTOWN BY 6.

 

 

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#3 The Untouchaballs 42, #6 Puckett All-Stars 36

#5 Scared Hitless 30, #4 Can’t Touch This 28

 

The Story: The Untouchaballs continue to defend their title, Scared Hitless’ playoff magic continues, is there rust from having a bye week? Will it affect the Mavericks and Freeballers?

 

#1 Mavericks (5-2-1) vs #5 Scared Hitless (4-4)

 

Points For: Mavericks 39.63 (1st), SH 33.75 (2nd)

Points Against: Mavericks 32.13 (3rd), SH 35.25 (5th)

TSL Rank: Mavericks 9th, SH 32nd

Past Games: 56-38 Mavericks

Line: Mavericks (-8)

 

GF: Scared Hitless took a close one over a very hot CTT last week, as they continue their own little streak of doing some good things in the playoffs. As long as Dylan Day is on, there isn’t a team they can’t beat. This is a matchup of the top two scoring offenses in D2, and I expect a higher scoring affair. The Mavericks have been good all season, and they’ve helped out their once “not too good” defense this season a lot. Jordan Lawson seems to have found a new groove this time around, and I’m not entirely sure the Scared Hitless defense will get a stop. All the Mavericks will need is one stop to take this one. MAVERICKS BY 9

 

TSLQBPRC: D2 was so incredibly close this session as far as the final team records, and Scared Hitless was much better than what you’d expect from a fifth place team.  Having said that, the Mavericks were the one team that got any separation in the standings this season, they had the best record, they had the best point differential, and they beat a D1 team that we’re talking about potentially winning the Finals.  Dylan is great, and we’d love to pick a different team than you just to be contrary, but the Mavericks have too many pieces for Scared Hitless to solve.  MAVERICKS BY 12.

 

#2 Freeballers (4-3-1) vs #3 The Untouchaballs (4-3-1)

 

Points For: FB 28.88 (5th), UT 28.00 (6th)

Points Against: FB 28.63 (1st), UT 31.25 (2nd)

TSL Rank: FB 20th, UT 21st

Past Games: 30-16 FB

Line: EVEN

GF: We go from the Top 2 offenses in the division, to the Top 2 defenses in D2 (and the worst two offenses, weird). The Freeballers almost feel like the forgotten team in this division. Everyone else has had some sort of storyline, but the Freeballers just kept chugging along, stealing the bye as the #2 seed. Freeballers actually own a win over UT as well. But the other wins? Two against a Puckett team figuring it out and CTT when they were on that losing streak. I’m not sure they’re the 2nd best team in D2. Give me Big Game Burr when he turns it up in the playoffs. THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 13

 

TSLQBPRC: Dammit.  We’re picking the same winner again.  The Untouchaballs just feel like they have a more solid foundation in our opinion.  They won the D2 title last session so there’s no “we can’t let this one slip away” pressure.  They beat Eyes Downtown a couple weeks ago in a game that Burr is (presumably) still bragging about.  They’re a dangerous team.  Freeballers, as you pointed out, have a less impressive resume, and they haven’t won a championship (D4) in three years.  Now having said that, we’re pretty sure they won that D4 championship with Sean on their team, and he will likely be back on Saturday after missing most of this season, so maybe that’ll be the difference maker for them.  But we don’t think one man will be enough.  THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 8

 

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: We’re both predicting a Mavericks vs Untouchaballs finals, and these two teams actually had an amazing regular season against each other.  Mavericks just DESTROYED them in their first meeting, and then they battled to a tie in the rematch.  Burr tends to play well when people doubt him (“we’re going to beat them by 40!”) and his spiteful willpower alone should be enough to make this a close one.  Will it be enough to beat the team they’ve failed to beat twice already?  You know what… we think it will.  THE UNTOUCHABALLS BY 1

 

GF: This game is hard for me to pick a winner. It may even be the game of the day, which is saying something on Championship Saturday. Burr has been “hotter” in the second half of the season but that’s partially because the Mavs didn’t play as much. When it comes down to it, I look at the girls, and I just feel like the Mavericks have a slight advantage there. I’ve liked the Mavericks’ vibes all year, and I can’t stop imaging people emailing me about Mike Burke’s championship hugs. It’ll just make Burr play even better, but: MAVERICKS BY 6

 

D3

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#8 Bullet Club 21, #9 Topper’s All-Stars & Todd 0 (Forfeit)

#1 The Malones 49, #8 Bullet Club 8

#7 Practice Squad 40, #2 Wanderers 31

#6 Buffalo Vice 66, #3 Keller Whales 49

#5 Let’s Get Reccked 45, #4 Jabronies 30

 

The Story: The Malones continued their torrid pace, and every other top team lost. 

 

#1 The Malones (8-0) vs #7 Practice Squad (3-5)

 

Points For: The Malones 52.13 (1st), PS 28.00 (7th)

Points Against: The Malones 31.50 (4th), PS 34.25 (8th)

TSL Rank: The Malones 1st, PS 38th

Past Games: 60-30 The Malones

Line: The Malones (-17)

GF: I’ve said it all along, The Malones ruined a very good D3 season by existing in it. They’ve just been incredibly dominant, and while the legend of Practice Squad and Playoff B grew stronger this season, this is where that ride ends. No reason to sugar coat this one: THE MALONES BY 14

 

TSLQBPRC: B thrives on people doubting him… so here’s one more group of people to tell him “it’s not happening man”.  The Malones are damn near unbeatable in this division, and although B’s “dialed up to an 11” intensity will definitely make the first half interesting, we expect the Malones to run away with it in the second half.  THE MALONES BY 18

 

#5 Let’s Get Reccked (3-5) vs #6 Buffalo Vice (3-5)

 

Points For: LGR 29.75 (5th), Vice 31.88 (4th)

Points Against: LGR 34.13 (7th), Vice 36.50 (9th)

TSL Rank: LGR 34th, Vice 35th

Past Games: 36-28 LGR

Line: Let’s Get Reccked (-3)

TSLQBPRC: How did Buffalo Vice put up SIXTY SIX points last week?? We knew they were dangerous when they were clicking, but that still feels… unexpected.  That being said, the rumor mill says that Buffalo Vice will be missing Andy Clark this week, and if that’s true, then we HAVE to imagine that a veteran team like Let’s Get Reccked will find a way to get some stops on defense.  We’ll take Team Recckio for a trip to the D3 Finals.  LET’S GET RECCKED BY 6

 

GF: Is this a boring article when we’re so incredibly aligned? Maybe. But that’s just how things are shaking out. LGR was all over the place in terms of health and attendance but everyone knows how good they can be at full power. Vice deserves all the credit in the world for what they did last week, but it seems like it was the cherry on top of a season they knew wasn’t going much further after the win. Not having your QB on Championship Saturday isn’t ideal, and while Vice will fight, it’s not going to be nearly enough. LETS GET RECCKED BY 14. 

 

Finals Predictions

 

GF: The Malones vs LGR. The Malones won 62-29 a few weeks ago, but again that was without some of LGR’s more important players. I want so desperately to choose Let’s Get Reccked to win this game, it feels like the hottest upset of the day. One that we’ll talk about forever. But The Malones are too fast, too furious, and they’re a team of destiny. THE MALONES BY 10

 

TSLQBPRC: If anyone can beat the Malones, it might be Let’s Get Reccked.  Veteran savvy, athleticism, size, speed.  They have a chance, sure. But we can’t pick against the undefeated team that’s smoking everyone.  THE MALONES BY 13

 

D4

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#9 Cobblestone 39, #8 The Roaring 20s 8

#1 Cunning Stunts 43, #9 Cobblestone 24

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 34, #7 Vaspian 16

#3 Passing While Intoxicated 55, #6 Reset Warriors 26

#4 Tater Tots 52, #5 Not So Sticky 20

 

The Story: The Top 4 teams in the division all advance, it’s the Stunts’ title to lose. 

 

#1 Cunning Stunts (8-0) vs #4 Tater Tots (4-4)

 

Points For: CS 46.50 (1st), TT 34.38 (3rd)

Points Against: CS 26.63 (2nd), TT 27.63 (5th)

TSL Rank: CS 2nd, TT 25th

Past Games: 54-30 CS

Line: Cunning Stunts (-13)

TSLQBPRC: Do we dare to pick against B TWICE in the same playoff day?  It feels like we’re tempting fate here… but… Cunning Stunts is just a MUCH stronger team than Tater Tots.  Better record, better offense, better defense, better QB (not a long list of QBs who are better than B… but Joey Batts is on that list).  The score was 54-30 when they played each other in the regular season.  Let’s say this one will be closer… but not THAT much closer.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 12

 

GF: We’ve been here before. The Stunts are always better than whoever they’re playing and then before you know it, POOF, there’s a lot of sad ladies heading to the bar earlier than expected. This one feels different though, simply because they’re blowing out just about everyone. The defense is better than it’s been in the longest time. The Tots did wonders in D4, and performed much better than expected. I don’t think they should qualify as “just happy to be here”, but they did struggle with the Top 3 teams in D4. There’s a clear line between the contenders and pretenders here, and the Tots are justttt on the outside looking in. CUNNING STUNTS BY 14

 

#2 Interdimensional Lightning Falcons (6-2) vs #3 Passing While Intoxicated (6-2)

 

Points For: ILF 32.13 (4th), PWI 36.63 (2nd)

Points Against: ILF 26.38 (1st), PWI 27.13 (3rd)

TSL Rank: ILF 4th, PWI 6th

Past Games: 48-47 ILF

Line: EVEN

GF: These two teams put on an absolute banger this year, with ILF squeaking by PWI 48-47. While both teams lost to the Stunts, ILF also lost to the Creekers, and barely snuck by Reset Warriors. Vaspian gave them trouble two weeks ago too. PWI, meanwhile, has a better offense led by the newly crowned “TD Tori”, and Alex Lee continues to shine at QB. PWI has been handling business for weeks, and haven’t really played a close one. They’re the hotter team, and they’re firing on all cylinders. ILF has the ability to really lay an egg here. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 3

 

TSLQBPRC: We couldn’t have said it any better.  It’s odd that it feels like ILF doesn’t have as much momentum going into this game when they’ve won five in a row themselves.  But they almost lost games against Vaspian and Reset Warriors, and they haven’t had a real “signature win” since their game against PWI back in Week Three.  It should be close like last time, but our prediction is it should be lower scoring than last time, with a different result.  PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

 

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: PWI has had success all season scoring to TD Tori and really flexing their girl muscle.  Cunning Stunts do that better.  Buddy Lee has been spectacular in moving his team down the field week after week.  Joey Batts does that even better.  If we’re going to pick an upset here, we would need some kind of plausible reason to choose PWI, and the only one we can think of is “the Stunts have lost a lot of games like this that they SHOULD have won”.  But we’re not picking PWI just because we expect the Stunts to choke.  They’ve all played in so many big games at this point, the pressure just can’t mean as much to them anymore (we think).  And the Stunts are the better team.  They’re taking home the D4 championship.  CUNNING STUNTS BY 9

 

GF: Stunts. PWI. It all comes down to this. The Stunts took a 43-20 win in the last meeting these two had. It wasn’t very close. But, that was back on May 11th. And it was at 2:00, so the chances that “Buddy Buckets” was on the field are very high. And no, that’s not a basketball name. Anyone who’s seen Alex throw later in the day knows he’s just not as good. His team knows this and will most likely lock him in a cage to keep him from the bar before this one. The Stunts are great, but the one thing you need to beat them are having “girl muscle” to flex. And PWI has been running so well because they lean on their talented ladies. They have the ability to pull the upset, and they’ve pulled off upsets like this before. PWI is a great team, let the buckets flow. PASSING WHILE INTOXICATED BY 2

D5

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#1 GUCCI 32, #8 Two Tuddies 12

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids, #7 TMA 0 (Forfeit)

#6 Stir The Sauce 42, #3 Come From Behind 22

#4 Powerpuff Girls 37, #5 Not So Sticky 20

 

The Story: Stir The Sauce crashes the party unexpectedly, GUCCI gets a win closer to that title, but Travis Henry’s Kids is back on track, and the Powerpuffs could shake things up.

 

#1 GUCCI (7-0-1) vs #6 Stir The Sauce (3-5)

 

Points For: GUCCI 31.00 (3rd), STS 29.75 (5th)

Points Against: GUCCI 15.50 (1st), STS 28.25 (6th)

TSL Rank: GUCCI 3rd, STS 36th

Past Games: 26-24 GUCCI

Line:  GUCCI (-10)

GF: In one corner, we have an undefeated, hyper talented, ready to get the monkey off their back team in GUCCI. In the other, we have a very spry STS that locked Come From Behind down. This all adds up to an interesting contest. GUCCI has played a ton of close games this season, including a 26-24 win over STS in Week 1. Kelly Kane knows how to win, and this team has played so long together that everyone knows their role. But, other than big wins against TMA, the Tuddies, and a shorthanded THK, have they really been that dominant? STS lost to GUCCI by 2, NSS by 1, and THK by 3. They’re better than your average 6 seed. They won a lot of games as underdogs when they were the Woodpeckers, and I think they’re going to give GUCCI a true run for their money here. STIR THE SAUCE BY 3. 

 

TSLQBPRC: Stir the Sauce went 3-5.  GUCCI went 7-0-1.  Stir the Sauce was +12 on the season.  GUCCI was +124.  We give Sauce a lot of credit for playing close games against the top teams in D5, and Come From Behind last week was a huge playoff win.  But we’re not going to over-think this one.  Stir the Sauce lost five games this session.  GUCCI has lost none.  GUCCI BY 4.

 

#2 Travis Henry’s Kids (5-3) vs #4 Powerpuff Girls (5-3)

 

Points For: THK 31.00 (3rd), PPG 35.50 (1st)

Points Against: THK 28.25 (5th), PPG 26.63 (4th)

TSL Rank: THK 11th, PPG 16th

Past Games: 43-16 THK, 33-24 PPG

Line: Travis Henry’s Kids (-3)

TSLQBPRC: When these two teams met in the regular season, THK just mauled the PowerPuff Girls.  It was not a close game.  There are reasons to believe that PowerPuff Girls is a vastly improved team since that initial game.  They’ve really come together and had some dominant performances since then, so we don’t expect the same one-sided affair this go around.  And yet… THK still have Pete, and they haven’t lost a game with him yet all season.  If you’re looking for reasons to bet against Langley, it’s not a HORRIBLE argument to say that he fell apart without Pete this season, and Pete hasn’t played football in like a month.  But Cody Stumpf has barely played QB at ALL for the PowerPuff Girls this session, and it’s harder for a QB to come in cold than it is a wide receiver.  TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 5.

 

GF: I came into today really telling myself we could have two gender team champions this session, but now I’m sitting here predicting that we’re not going to have any. The committee just spilled it out for everyone, the PPG having a backup QB really stinks (even if he doesn’t have any other games this weekend) just in terms of the continuity the Girls were having with Kyle as they started humming. But then again, Cody can cover Pete, right? While the girls would still have to worry about Aaron, there’s a path to victory there. And what if Cody doesn’t even throw, and Maddie throws to him? That might worry THK and mess up their defense. Hmm. At the end of the day though, that’s a lot of “new things” to be trying out in a big time playoff game. The Power Puff Girls will win a championship. It just won’t be this season. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 8

 

Finals Predictions

 

GF: THK vs Stir The Sauce. While I used STS’ 3 point loss as a reason to help them beat GUCCI, I sort of forgot that THK only had 5 people that game. Yikes. THK is back in their villian era, and we all forgot about that after the “Peteless” month that saw them lose a few games. THK was dominant when the season started, and they’ll be dominant again this Saturday at full strength. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 10

 

TSLQBPRC:THK vs GUCCI.  The knock on both teams is that they’ve both choked in the playoffs in the past, and none of them have ever won a championship in the TSL.  But that sort of cancels out here if both teams make the Finals (which we’re saying they will) and SOMEONE has to win.  GUCCI absolutely thrilled THK a few weeks ago, but two things will be different this time around.  1) Langley will have Pete to throw to.  2) Langley will play with confidence knowing he has Pete to throw to.  This should be a MUCH better game than their last encounter, and it feels like a coin flip to us.  Our gut says GUCCI BY 1

 

D6 

 

Last Week’s Games

 

#8 Sticky Laces 25, #9 Dogg Pound 20

#1 Pit Harade 34, #8 Sticky Laces 6

#7 Just Joshing 36, #2 Balls Deep 32

#3 Back That Pass Up 56, #6 Mighty Drunks 34

#4 Blitzkrieg 44, #5 Sausage McMuffins 6

 

The Story: Just Joshing gets a huge win, their reward is being in the final 4 with the three best teams in the division, all of whom should be considering going up to D5 regardless of the outcome. 

 

#1 Pit Harade (6-2) vs #7 Just Joshing (3-5)

 

Points For: PH 27.75 (4th), JJ 23.00 (6th)

Points Against: PH 18.63 (1st), JJ 26.75 (7th)

TSL Rank: PH 7th, JJ 37th

Past Games: 15-6 PH

Line: Pit Harade (-8)

TSLQBPRC:  Just Joshing has been a great story this season.  They entered the League as almost completely new players, and they struggled.  And they learned.  And somewhere along the way, they became a team capable of winning games.  Since Week Two, they’ve only lost one game (vs Back That Pass Up) by more than 6 points.  They’re young, they’re competitive, and we think they’re going to win a championship in the TSL.  But to quote the Godfather from earlier, “it just won’t be this season”.  PIT HARADE BY 9

 

GF: Just Joshing made me look brilliant last week, as I picked them to pull off the upset. They’ve played a lot of close games, including a 15-6 loss to Pit Harade. PH has had about 4 QBs start for them this season (Joe K, Dave Walter, MVP Ray, and Other Guy) which shouldn’t be a recipe for success, but it’s worked. Tall Bearded Guy and Sam P do everything for them on their #1 ranked Defense, and they should be able to contain the JJ offense pretty well. PIT HARADE BY 7

 

#3 Back That Pass Up (5-3) vs #4 Blitzkrieg (5-3)

 

Points For: BTPU 28.25 (3rd), BK 30.50 (2nd)

Points Against: BTPU 27.25 (8th), BK 20.75 (2nd)

TSL Rank: BTPU 12th, BK 14th

Past Games: 30-26 BTPU

Line: EVEN

GF: Absolute mayhem. That’s what this game is going to be. BTPU snuck by BK 30-26 a few weeks ago in a hell of a game. D6 playing early is an advantage for BTPU (see: “Buddy Buckets” at QB) and the way that Alex D’s squad has performed all season has to make them feel confident in going home champions. Blitzkrieg had pretty much run D6 all season before a pair of late season losses (to BTPU and PH) dropped them to the 4 seed and much harder path to the title that's eluded them for what feels like 10 years. Alex is throwing well, and when all of the ladies are there, look out. BK is 2nd in offense and 2nd in defense. They’re the most complete team remaining in D6. BLITZKRIEG BY 6

 

TSLQBPRC: With respect to a possible THK vs GUCCI Finals, there is no game we would feel less confident about predicting this week than Blitzkrieg vs Back That Pass Up.  Blitzkrieg is the better team on paper.  They were one of the “favorites” in our playoff preview last week based on their impressive point differentials, whereas Back That Pass Up was a middling contender.  But it’s tough to pick against Buddy Lee, you know?? Look: we’re “numbers” people at the end of the day, we have to follow the math, and the math says Back That Pass Up will fall just short.  BLITZKRIEG BY 2

Finals Predictions

 

TSLQBPRC: Pit Harade vs Blitzkrieg.  These teams are even enough by the numbers, but how will they each be feeling coming out of their semi-finals games?  Pit Harade is playing the #7 seed, and they’re expecting to cruise to a win.  Blitzkrieg will have just survived a bloodbath against Back That Pass Up, and it will be tough for them to play at peak energy levels for two straight hours.  The veteran calmness favors Pit Harade here, so that’s our choice.  PIT HARADE BY 5

GF: Pit Harade vs Blitzkrieg. Arguably the two best teams from the regular season collide here. These two teams are very close to each other. They both have great QB play. They both have stud males. They both have excellent females. They both have experience on their side. At the end of the day, while PH has a 31-18 win against BK this season, it just finally feels like it’s BKs year. They have a slightly deeper roster overall and someone is going to make the play that makes all the difference. BLITZKRIEG BY 2

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

 

• Which team are you most surprised was eliminated last week?

 

TSLQBPRC: Wanderers is the easy answer.  “Playoff B” aside, I think we were all expecting a Malones vs Wanderers Finals in D3.  And it’s not nearly as shocking an upset, because Scared Hitless had almost the same record, but it does feel weird that Can’t Touch This are already done for the year given how hot they were finishing the regular season.

 

GF: Can I say Steph Infection in Breakfast Club? It feels weird that they aren’t batting for the BC title this week. Since that’s probably not what you were going for, I’ll say Come From Behind. They were nothing short of electric to end the season, and all of a sudden the power is out. Also, the Keller Whales. A Championship Saturday without the Kellers just feels weird. 

 

 

• What is your Breakfast Club Prediction? 

 

GF: I think we have two great teams remaining and both deserve to be champions. But there’s just something about Dri’s Company that works for me, so I’m going with Dri’s Company 38, Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 34.

 

TSLQBPRC: It’s been years since a Bobby vs Frank Finals, so it’s pretty incredible that in 2024 we’re being treated to another.  Let’s be clear: Bobby is the better QB of the two.  But there’s something about Frank that’s just a perfect fit for the spirit of Breakfast Club.  We’ll say Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 38, Dri’s Company 31

 

 

• Which team do you most WANT to win this week, even if you think they won’t?

 

TSLPRC: Practice Squad or Tater Tots.  Either of the “B Teams”.  We just want to see B and his “don’t you feel like an idiot for not believing in us??” glare at the fields on Saturday.

 

GF: Gender teams. Cunning Stunts and the Powerpuff Girls. The league is a better place when the gender teams are winning. Slight nod to The Untouchaballs, just to set up D1 for the Fall.

 

 

• What prediction do you immediately look back at and think you got wrong?

 

GF: D5 is just wild. Even though I have a THK - STS final, I really think we could also see a GUCCI - PPG final as well. That’d be pretty awesome. 

 

TSLQBPRC: All of them except the Malones.  Look, all our picks “make sense” to us, but this is the TSL and anything can happen.  We wouldn’t be shocked to see EVERYTHING go the other way.  But if we have to choose one, we’ll say D2.  Everyone is so good in that division, there isn’t a single champion that we’d look at and say “wow, we can’t believe it was them”.

 

 

• Rank the #1 seeds in terms of most confident to least confident you are in them winning the title. 

 

GF: The Malones, Mavericks, Pit Harade, Eyes Uptown, GUCCI, Cunning Stunts.

 

TSLQBPRC: The Malones (as if it would be anyone else), Cunning Stunts, Eyes Uptown, Mavericks, Pit Harade, GUCCI.

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY

 

 

• Games of the Day: All of them. It’s Championship Saturday! 

 

 

 

• The most important players (QBs aside) for their teams on Saturday: TD Tori (PWI), Ricky Recckio (LGR), Light Red Hoodie Guy (Blitzkrieg), Tall Bearded Guy (Pit Harade), James T. Hearn (Back That Pass Up), George Lombardo (Mavericks), Maggie LaMantia (Sticky Bandits), Ryan “The Guy Who Isn’t Matt Helm” (The Untouchaballs), Renee Lantz (Practice Squad/Cunning Stunts), Wrestler Dan (Stir The Sauce), Thomas Fields (GUCCI), Bs Brother (Whatever Sideline He Decides To Stand On), Pistol Pete (THK), Maddie Norton (Eyes Uptown/Powerpuff Girls). Just to name a few. 

 

 

 

• Even if you’re not playing this weekend, come out and watch the games and celebrate with the rest of the league. 

 

 

 

• Can you believe there were two forfeits last week??  Fortunately I haven’t heard of any expected for this week.  Teams have made it this far, you’d think they’d want to finish what they started!

 

 

 

• It’s going to be wet, very, very wet. I don’t think the games will be postponed, so bring a towel and a change of clothes. Good luck out there. 

 

 

 

• Championship week is the most stressful week of the season.  Not just for you, but also the refs.  There is no TSL without people willing to ref our games, so PLEASE do not scream at them after a bad call.  It happens.  Move on.

 

 

 

• Three ‘most likely’ upsets: Let’s Get Reccked, Blitzkrieg, Powerpuff Girls

 

 

 

• I’ve asked many times what date the Fall Session is scheduled to start up this year, and been told that it’s still up in the air (likely August 17th or August 24th).  Start thinking about your team for next season… especially if this season is already over for you!

 

 

 

• There’s only a couple of spots left for the wine tournament, so get your squad signed up! The first 16 teams that register (and actually make their payment) will get those spots.  Don’t be the team that’s left out because you dragged your feet!

 

 

 

• I hope Breakfast Club comes back in the Fall.  I know, I’m told it’s very difficult to recruit people to wake up that early for Fall session when the weather’s a little colder. But this was such a great session with so many new faces and competitive teams.  Spring 2025 would be a long wait to do all that again.

 

And with that, we’re ready to finish the Race for Social Co-Ed Immortality. Champions will be crowned, and they’ll live forever in TSL history. Are you going to be one of them? 

-GF OUT

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