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- Written by Patrick McGovern
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Published: 27 August 2020
- Created: 27 August 2020
- Hits: 2541
I do it just about every week.
Usually around Noon my time, I give Topper a call and we chat about the day’s events a bit. Who won, any stories that came up, that type of stuff. I thought I’ve heard it all. Until this week.
“Well, there weren’t any games.”
How could that even be? It wasn’t raining.
And then I found out the truth. The Health Department shut down the TSL for this past week. And possibly more weeks in the future if they don’t figure it out. It didn’t make sense to me. Topper and I had just discussed the countless security measures he’s put in place. He worked with New York State and they approved this plan. Why would the Health Department even care?
And that brings me to my next point. You, the TSL Universe, continue to amaze me. Topper told me how SO MANY OF YOU came out of the woodwork to combat this evil. To do anything they could to help. Because of the work of the TSL, we have politicians, Senators, State Representatives, people with power working towards making this league run again. I heard we even made it to the local news!
The best part of this league has always been that it’s a family. And families show their true strength through the tough times. Let’s face it, this is the toughest it can probably get for a co-ed touch football league. And yet, we carry on. Be proud of yourselves. Stay strong, stay hopeful. Topper is burning up the phone lines DAILY just so that you can have a fantastic experience in this crazy world for a few hours on a Saturday. He’s putting in the work. Lenny would’ve already sent him a singing clown telegram. And the clown would be dressed in a stained T-shirt and baggy sweatpants. It’s the little touches like that that made Lenny so great.
Thank you, whether you’ve been a long time TSLer, or a new player just picking the most interesting time ever to come aboard, for your patience as everything gets sorted out.
As of the time of this writing, football is still on. That could always change. (There’s also a decent chance it rains in Buffalo Saturday, so you may not have played anyway). So while I wish I had games from last week to talk about, I can talk about the games that are supposed to be played this week. There’s just not much to say.
The lines have been given to me by the TSLQBPRC. Let’s get to it. . .
D1:
Marketing Mayors vs Gryffindor (+8) – Both of these teams have yet to play a game, which doesn’t bode well for Joey Batts and company. The Mayors have been consistently the same roster for a bit now, whereas it seems that Gryffindor has made some changes. They’ll need some time to figure it out. MARKETING MAYORS BY 17
Tight Ends In Motion vs Why So Serious (+10) – TEIM has a big doubleheader this week, and rumor has it that they may be slightly overlooking WSS as they focus on Eyes Downtown. This game will be closer than maybe it should be. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 6
Marketing Mayors vs Tight Ends In Motion (+5) – Take the points here. The Mayors will already have played one game, and I always feel like Tight Ends just practices constantly. TEIM is hungry, and this may be the time for them to put up a signature win. TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION BY 3
Eyes Downtown vs Gryffindor (+12) – If I’m being told correctly, Jeremy Burr left Gryffindor for Eyes Downtown. He’s a front runner, so that makes sense. How fun is it to have a team with Burr AND Bobby? I don’t know who’s more excited, Eyes Downtown, the refs, or the TSL complaint department. They might be fun to watch if something goes wrong in a game, but for now? I bet they put on a show. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 20
D2:
HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO vs Bullet Club (+4) – I disagree with the line here. The last time these two teams met were in the playoffs last season, when BC moved onto the championship. Since then, Bullet Club has added a few more difference makers to their roster while HB, sadly, has lost a few this season. I don’t think HB is going to be nearly as good as they were a season ago when the dust settles. BULLET CLUB BY 10
Morning Wood vs Slytherin That End Zone (+2) – A very close matchup on paper. Morning Wood has added a few really good speedsters and they have an actual QB as well. Slytherin, however, actually has a better QB in Matt Newman and they’re poised to make noise this season. This feels like an even matchup, but I’m going to go with “Good Mo”’s team here. Yes Topper, at this point, He’s Good Mo. MORNING WOOD BY 9
Sticky Bandits vs Jabronies (+3) – The last time these two teams met, the Jabronies were on the winning end of things. Neither team’s roster has changed much since then (I’m pretty sure Sticky has had the same team since 2006) but Joe Miano’s progress at QB has gotten better. Jabronies also added Ben Stack to the team, and like him or not he adds a good chunk of talent. Sticky got lucky in Week 1 with DILFs missing everyone. JABRONIES BY 5
D3:
This is a little weird, but there aren’t any D3 games this week.
D3/D4 Crossover:
Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers (+5) – I understand that the TSLQBPRC would have to give a D4 team the points, but in this case it’s okay if they made them favorites. The best part about the crossover games is to see which lower division teams win. So far, D3 is 1-0 thanks to All We Do Is Quinn’s win in Week 1. Uncle Rico’s, again, has been one of the hottest teams in the TSL for almost a full calendar year. Look for the upset that isn’t an upset. UNCLE RICO’S BY 6
D4:
Over Compensators vs Buffalo Solar Solutions (+1) – A really good matchup this week that has some good players on both sides. The OC is still warming up to being in D4, although they’ve added Zach Newberry to the squad this season as well. BSS has the same great group of people that’s played together for forever. Continuity matters here. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 3
Freeballers vs Family Feud And Some Dudes (+8) – When we last saw the Freeballers they were getting sacked for a walk off safety against the Angels. While that’s rough, it should be noted that they only lost to the Angels by 2 points. Perhaps they’re going to be a force in this division. I still don’t know much about FF, but I don’t think they’re nearly as impressive as the Ballers have been in this short, short season. The Freeballers are looking for a statement game, and this may be it. FREEBALLERS BY 14
The Angels vs Family Feud And Some Dudes (+15) – They couldn’t make this line high enough for me not to bet it. FF has to learn right away that they need to constantly score female TDs to keep pace. Guy TD’s will NOT do it for them. I don’t know if they have the females for this challenge. THE ANGELS BY 24
Cunning Stunts vs Freeballers (+8) – The line is too high for sure, but the Stunts are no joke. This is their first game of the season, but catching Freeballers on the backend of a doubleheader will prove to help. FB will be competitive, but I think the odds won’t be in their favor. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8
The Angels vs Cunning Stunts (+4) – OH IT IS ON. The marquee matchup of the gender teams is the highlight of the day. It won’t be the same without Matty of course, but Bobby vs Joey Batts (who also get to play each other earlier in the day) will be great to watch again in this environment. I’ll take Joey’s defense over Bobby’s any day. Nothing is better than these two teams making magic on the field. CUNNING STUNTS BY 2
D5:
Mountain Dew Me vs Pteratacos (+11) – This line is a little brutal when you consider that the Tacos are much improved from last season. Mountain Dew Me put up 53 points in Week 1, but I’m not sure yet if this is the norm. It’ll be a little bit closer, but I’ll take MDM to go to 2-0 here. MOUNTAIN DEW ME BY 6
Practice Squad vs ILF (+9) – Practice Squad is looking good to start the season, and they’re currently the D5 favorites in my book. ILF is a good team, but they’ve got a little fine tuning to do. They’re a season away from really making some noise here. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 11
ILF vs TOX (+2) – Topper’s other team takes on ILF, catching them in the backend of a doubleheader which I love. This game is going to be a back and forth, but for right now I’m going to go with the team that’s been together longer than a month and has played more than one game together. ILF BY 3
Practice Squad vs Zack Attack (+4) – The future D5 championship will be played right here. You heard it here first. These two teams are balanced on both sides of the ball and it’s going to come down to who blinks first. A mild upset here. ZACK ATTACK BY 3
D6:
Tater Tots vs TMA (+5) – The “Drunk Meg” game of the week. As much fun of a story as it is, the better story is how TMA is GETTING points here. I know the Tots are better than last season, but I can’t imagine they’re that much better. TMA won’t get smoked deep as much this time around, and hopefully their defense can make a stop or two in order to take this one. They should. TMA BY 13
Graves Bros vs PC Plumbing (+3) – A very even matchup here results in PC getting only a field goal to work with for the line. Both teams are finding their way a bit still, and there’s playmakers on both sides of the ball here. This should be a fun back and forth, and I think it’ll come down to the wire. PC PLUMBING BY 1
Blitzkrieg vs The Bambs (+5) – The Bambs shouldn’t be getting points here. They ran all over TMA Week 1, and TMA is a better team than either of those that Blitzkrieg played. Blitzkrieg has some moxie, but The Bambs have done this for 47 years. The Bambs won’t have any trouble being socially distant from Blitzkrieg’s defense this game. THE BAMBS BY 16
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
1. Will there be football? At this point we don’t know. Topper is working VERY HARD though.
2. Will it rain anyway? With our luck lately, it seems likely. I’m unsure if we’ll play in the rain or not at this moment.
3. When will we know if games are cancelled? Topper is still awaiting word from various government offices. He’s going to wait as long as possible to hear from them. He doesn’t want to cancel the games only to find out we’ve been given the green light.
4. Do I have to sign in to toppersports.com/covid every week? Yes, you can NOT enter the fields without checking in at the gate. Keep your team prepared to do so.
5. There are rumors that because of other leagues shenanigans, the TSL may start a winter indoor football league and run tournaments of their own now, is it true? Topper and Lenny historically needed a break inbetween Spring and Fall, so they never have done these things. But with recent events, things may have changed. There are internal discussions going on that may give you guys an alternate option when the Spring/Fall aren’t in play. Stay tuned.
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:
1. If you guys do end up playing this Saturday, please be extra careful to follow the guidelines we attached. You never know who’s watching now, and you don’t want to be the guy or girl that kills this thing for everyone.
2. Here are the best games by time slot:
a. 10:00 – TMA vs Tater Tots
b. 11:00 – Morning Wood vs SITE
c. 12:00 – Tight Ends In Motion vs Marketing Mayors
d. 1:00 – Cunning Stunts vs Freeballers
e. 2:00 – The Angels vs Cunning Stunts
f. 3:00 – Practice Squad vs Zack Attack
3. If there’s a way to get a HUGE bet going on between D3 and D4 for whoever wins the Crossover Series, what should it be on? Email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with your ideas!
4. A few teams that are better than advertised: Uncle Rico’s, Freeballers, Morning Wood, and Zack Attack.
5. A few teams are overrated this season: HOFBRAUHAUS BUFFALO, En Fuego
6. Teams that *might* be overrated but I don’t want to make that call yet: Sticky Bandits (you’ll see), TMA
7. It saddened me that we didn’t get our usual dose of TSL Media this week. No Sentinel, No podcast, No QB Rankings. I never realized how much I look forward to those each week. That’s why I had to get this out to the people.
8. Extra huge shout out to the TSLers who banded together and turned some lemons in to lemonade last weekend. I saw the photos that we had enough people for FIVE TSL teams show up to an undisclosed location (don’t need anyone calling the cops if you guys do it again) for pickup football that many people told me was really awesome. It’s great to see this league working together. Extra shout out to Emily Curry for throwing it all together, though I think Dave Baker was involved too.
9. The league feels like the word got out about the Week being cancelled last pretty well, but the best ways to get information to is to like us on Facebook at Topper Sports, LLC or much more importantly, download the Telegram app, use the link https://t.me/toppersports , and follow @toppersports as well. This is the FASTEST way to get ahold of Topper, and it’s the first place to go for immediate and emergency information. Plus it appears that a lot of TSLers were talking about the current events going on, so come join the conversation!
10. Lastly, I just want to take a second and apologize to everyone. I know you’re all aware that the TSL really had nothing to do with last week’s cancellations, but it’s still a bummer for everyone. You guys always warm my heart when I hear about how you band together and overcome things together as best as you can. It just sucks for you that things worked out that way, but let’s keep our heads up.
Stay safe out there.
#TSLSTRONG
-The GF