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- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 25 May 2023
- Created: 25 May 2023
- Hits: 949
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
Some weeks we get beautiful weather and huge crowds at the bar. Other weeks we get miserable downpours and medical emergencies. Week Five was, unfortunately, the latter. Although our quarterbacks didn't get much of a chance to shine this past weekend in the heavy rain, our nurses and medical professionals did. Thank you to everyone who pitched in and helped out when one of our players went down last week - this League literally would not be possible without you.
And now, some Power Rankings:
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for the Sticky Bandits this week, so no movement in the Power Rankings for the last undefeated QB in D1.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Losing Streak 23-19 (Legends)
How have the Stunts only played three games on May 25th? And they've won only one of them?? Seems impossible. Big win for Legends this week as they took down Losing Streak in a close one. The defending champs still have the highest points per game in D1.
#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week: Lost to Legends 23-19, beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 37-16 (Losing Streak), beat No Punt Intended 30-20 (Mavericks)
Jordan is undefeated in D1 against all the QBs beneath him in the Power Rankings and 0-2 against the two above him, so we'd say his Ranking is pretty easy to calculate right now. The big news this week was Mavericks taking down previously undefeated No Punt Intended which is a huge win in D2.
#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Tight Ends in Motion 19-8
We're not sure what's more surprising: Bobby scoring only 19 points in a game, or that somehow being enough for a two score win. Yes, the weather sucked on Saturday so we can't read much into any of these scores, but this was a big matchup for the D1 standings as it keeps Eyes Downtown out of the dreaded "1-Win Club" with Grey Hair, Scared Hitless and Frodo.
#5 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 30-20
Travis kind of, sort of QBed a bit this week while dad duty took priority, so we won't hold a loss against him. Really, we should hold it against Kyle!
#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week: Beat Cobblestone 41-13 (BAADies)
BAADies destroyed the makeshift team that Cobblestone threw together last minute (Darryl: you need more reliable teammates) and BAADies now sit a game away from .500. No, Garrett's not doing a ton of winning this session (Frodo and BAADies are a combined 3-6) but between a new-ish D1 team and a new gender team, no one can accuse him from ducking a challenge.
#7 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Beat Practice Squad 35-0
Practice Squad is NOT a bad team, and Untouchaballs made them look like absolute ASS this week. Yikes. Great performance by Untouchaballs to keep them neck and neck with NPI who, wouldn't ya know it, they're going to play this week! A win by Burr and team this Saturday will push them into first place in the D2 standings.
#8 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Lost to Losing Streak 37-16, lost to Scared Hitless 26-23
Eickhoff had this team looking strong out of the gate this season with a huge win over Frodo and a close loss to Eyes Downtown. Since then it's spiraled out of control a bit for Grey Hair - Don't Care as they dropped two more games on Saturday to fall to 1-6 with only one game remaining on their schedule (which thankfully is a rematch against Scared Hitless).
#9 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 26-23
We were SURE that Scared Hitless would win a game eventually (they were way too good not to) and they caught Grey Hair at exactly the right time. Their remaining opponents this season are a combined 6-14 so not IMPOSSIBLE that Dylan gets some momentum here and racks up a few more wins to finish strong.
#10 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Lost to Jabronies 38-27
The Wanderers finally played a game that wasn't settled by just a few points, and unfortunately they were on the wrong end of their first two-score outcome. Every team's goal in D3 should be to finish in the top two if they want to lock up a playoff matchup against one of the two teams that currently have a losing record, and Wanderers can help themselves at that tremendously by beating Can't Touch This in a couple weeks after their Memorial Day bye.
#11 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 19-8
Tight Ends scored only 8 points in the rain for the second time this session. They should get Andy some better cleats or something, these rain games aren't working in his favor. Tight Ends failed to lock up their first winning record of the season, but it's only a matter of time with an athlete as deadly as Andy under center.
#12 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Did Not Play
Jeff sure misses a lot of games. He's better than Langley though, so he keeps his QB1 status on Bullet Club.
#13 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Tied Vaspian 27-27
Let's Get Reccked went from a middle of the road 2-2 record to a somehow even MORE middle of the road 2-2-1 on Saturday. Their remaining opponents this season are a combined 4-10, but there aren't really any BAD teams in D3 this session so we're not sure we'd call that as easy a schedule as it looks.
#14 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Game Cancelled
The Puckett All-Stars vs PWI game was understandably cancelled this week after the medical incident occurred during their game.
#15 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week: Beat Wanderers 38-27
The Jabronies might be the hottest non-Puckett team in the TSL right now after rattling off their fourth win in a row. Take away their first game of the season (a dud against Let's Get Reccked) and they're +40 in their last four games, alone in first place in D3. We doubt Joe is missing the Interdimensional Lightning Falcons right now.
#16 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to Untouchaballs 35-0
This is a new low for Practice Squad. After four weeks of "they really ARE competitive, they just need one more big play to pull off a win", they got absolutely SMOKED by a Untouchaballs. Weather didn't help... but it didn't HURT for Burr either it seems, who was still able to score 35. Practice Squad has some soul searching to do after this one.
#17 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Itches and Ohs 49-19
"The Jabronies might be the hottest non-Puckett team in the TSL right now after rattling off their fourth win in a row"? What about Can't Touch This?! ALSO 4-0 in their last four games, and they're +52 over that stretch! Their last loss, of course... was to the Jabronies. Whatever adjustments these guys made have worked, and Can't Touch This is poised for another D3 Finals this session (they made it last Fall, remember!)
#18 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Did Not Play
No THK game for Langley this week, although he did drop a game for Bullet Club in relief of Jeff Easton.
#19 Buddy Lee - Passing While Intoxicated
Last Week: Game Cancelled
The Puckett All-Stars vs PWI game was understandably cancelled this week after the medical incident occurred during their game.
#20 Andy Clark - Buffalo Vice
Last Week: Beat Creekers 44-14
The Creekers are the ultimate "get right game" opponent in D4 right now as Buffalo Vice was able to stop a two game losing streak with a resounding ass-kicking over the division's favorite punching bag. Buffalo Vice are one of four teams with a winning record in D4 right now and they boast the second best point differential as well (slightly behind Puckett All-Stars...)
Fancy Statistics Section
Amazing how fast we get from "it's too early to talk stats, we haven't played enough games yet" to "this season is almost over"! Last week we looked at every team's point differential per game - this week we're going to focus on just the ten best (and ten worst) teams across our three major categories:
What did we learn??
Well, we said it last week but we're forced to say it again, Puckett is playing some really great football this season. Besides being by FAR the best point differential in the League (the difference between #1 Puckett and #2 Legends is about the same as the difference between #2 Legends and #15 Bullet Club), Puckett is also the only team scoring more than 40 PPG... and they're actually scoring more than 50 PPG. Crazy.
Puckett is one of only four teams that appear in both the Top Ten Offenses chart and the Top Ten Defenses chart, along with Legends (#4 in the League on both sides of the ball), Southside (best defense in the League) and Sticky Bandits. And speaking of Sticky Nation, it's no coincidence that Not So Sticky (aka Sticky old-timers) and ILF (Sticky disciple Andrew Kicak's team) both appear in the Top Ten defenses list... but why is that Not So Sticky offense nearly the worst in the League? Don't they have access to the same playbook?
On the other side of the coin, there are also four teams that appear in the both the Worst Offenses and Worst Defenses charts: Scared Hitless (owners of the worst point differential per game in the League), Creekers (second worst Offense and Defense in the League), Frodo Swaggins (take note Garrett, your co-ed team is allowing slightly more points per game than BAADies!) and Goatsack (whose numbers would look a lot more respectable if you threw out their 32-0 Week One loss to Come From Behind).
When we copy/pasted this chart from last Fall season's file to start updating it, it was amazing how much life has changed in just a few months. The five best point differentials in the League just last season belonged to:
- Tight Ends in Motion (currently 29th, with a losing record)
- Frodo Swaggins (currently 43rd, with a losing record... that jump to D1 is a big one!)
- Puckett All-Stars (currently 1st... okay not EVERYTHING is very different)
- Cunning Stunts (currently 42nd with a losing record)
- Not So Sticky (currently 26th with a losing record)
Take out Puckett and our four best teams from last season are a combined 6-11!
***
That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.
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