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- Details
- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 11 May 2023
- Created: 11 May 2023
- Hits: 868
Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
Football was played. Some people won, some people lost. How's that for an exciting intro? Let's get right to it:
#1 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Beat Grey Hair - Don't Care 30-27
A win's a win, and Thomas keeps it rolling for Sticky Nation. How many undefeated teams are there left in D1 this session? Answer: one more than there will be next week, after Sticky Bandits and Losing Streak battle it out for the last undefeated spot in our highest division.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat Scared Hitless 40-12 (Legends), beat Cobblestone 35-26 (Cunning Stunts)
Legends (with Joey under center) and the Stunts both got their first wins of the season last week and our multi-time TSL Villain of the Year looked sharp. Is it possible that two Joey Batts teams are flying under the radar right now? Seems crazy considering Legends are the two time defending D1 champs, and the Stunts were the #1 seed just last Fall.
#3 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Mavericks
Last Week: Beat Eyes Downtown 39-38 (Losing Streak), beat Practice Squad 41-37, lost to Freeballers 50-41 (Mavericks)
Eyes Downtown was the signature win that Jordan has been looking for in the TSL since first joining, and it was a classic. The last time these two teams met was September 25th 2021 and Losing Streak lost 63-6, so this one must have felt good for Jordan and team. Yeah, Mavericks lost a game, but they scored 41 so give Jordan a break.
#4 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Lost to Losing Streak 39-38
The last time we wrote about how Bobby had lost two games in a row, we're PRETTY sure he rattled off a seven game winning streak afterwards, so we're not ready to dismiss Eyes Downtown as contenders just yet. Wins and losses admittedly play a huge part in our rankings, as they should, but even with a 1-2 record, is there anyone in this League who doesn't think Bobby F'n McConnell is one of the top QBs in the League?
#5 Dave Eickhoff - Grey Hair - Don't Care
Last Week: Lost to Sticky Bandits 30-27
A three point loss to undefeated Sticky Bandits is nothing to feel too bad about. In fact Grey Hair - Don't Care has a one score loss to the Bandits, a one score loss to Eyes Downtown, and a 30 point win over Frodo Swaggins. These guys aren't that far away from 3-0, and Eickhoff is playing great.
#6 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins / BAADies
Last Week: Lost to Tight Ends in Motion 27-22 (Frodo Swaggins), beat Creekers 28-21 (BAADies)
Everyone's talking about Garrett's "sixth down" scramble/sack where he thought it was fifth down (which is, of course, really funny) but they should be talking about how Frodo became a decent D1 team much faster than we thought they would. The last two weeks include a win and a one-score loss against teams that have been to the top of the D1 mountain before. Now if only BAADies would play up to their potential, Garrett would REALLY be cooking...
#7 Travis Cleavenger - No Punt Intended
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for NPI this week. Still undefeated.
#8 Jeremy Burr - Untouchaballs
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for Untouchaballs this week.
#9 Jeff Easton - Bullet Club
Last Week: Lost to Itches and Ohs 22-21
Looks like Bullet Club won't be going undefeated this session. Sure, they were missing some players, but 21 points on a beautiful day isn't enough and Jeff knows it. The good news: D3 is an awesome, wide open division where anyone can upset anyone on any given week. The bad news (for Bullet Club): they seem to be very dependent on Pete's attendance, which will give Langley way too much power at his next contract negotiation.
#10 Dylan Jaloza - Freeballers
Last Week: Beat Mavericks 50-41
We knew Dylan had it in him. After a couple weeks of interceptions and bickering, Freeballers finally turned it around this week to drop 50 on the Mavericks in a big statement win. And every one is going to count in the D2 race, where three out of five teams will get a first round playoff bye.
#11 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Beat Vaspian 20-18
Wanderers are kind of, sort of tied for first place in D3 after their win against Vaspian. Yes, they're losing a tiebreaker against Bullet Club, and Itches and Ohs is still undefeated (is 3-1 better than 2-0? our website seems to think so) but they still control their own destiny at this point. The Wanderers may have been around forever, but watching Frank scramble it doesn't seem like he's aged a day.
#12 Andy Smigiera - Tight Ends in Motion
Last Week: Beat Frodo Swaggins 27-22
Andy Smigiera makes his debut in this season's Power Rankings with a win over Frodo Swaggins. Tight Ends in Motion are always a fairly loaded team, but the adjustment from Bro to Andy (as good an athlete as you'll find in the TSL) was always going to take some time. Tight Ends have only played two games so far this session, and they scored only 8 in their first, so a win over Frodo can definitely be counted as a step in the right direction.
#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Lost to Legends 40-12
To put their current offensive issues in perspective, Scared Hitless has less than half as many points through three weeks (24) as Puckett All-Stars scored in their first game (62). It has not been pretty for Hitless, even this week with perennial all-star Jaimie Warren available. This team needs to figure it out and quickly if they're going to return to Fall form.
#14 Steve Moser - Itches and Ohs / GrASS Eaters
Last Week: Beat Bullet Club 22-21 (Itches and Ohs), lost to Sausage McMuffins 37-31 (GrASS Eaters)
Raise your hand if you thought Itches and Ohs would be the last undefeated team in D3 this session. No one? Yeah, we were surprised too. These guys keep winning games they're not supposed to, and Moser is the conductor driving this undefeated train. Can they beat Bullet Club with Pete? Can they beat Wanderers? Can they beat Jabronies? We want to keep saying no... but at some point we have to acknowledge they're better than we thought. And GrASS Eaters also played a great game (sorry, we'll talk about them more next week).
#15 Brandon "B" Ford - Practice Squad
Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 41-37
Three games, three one score losses, three times the frustration for B. At least his team MUST know that they're not truly overmatched in D2 this session since they're in it every single week. They've started slowly and finished strong before (maybe you remember), they just have to keep believing in themselves and not getting down after the losses.
#16 Alex Buchlis - Let's Get Reccked
Last Week: Lost to Can't Touch This 19-12
A week after an epic back and forth shootout with the Wanderers, Let's Get Reccked somehow scored only 12 against a Can't Touch This defense that had been giving up 42.5 PPG going into Saturday. Football is funny like that. We blame Ricky Recckio for eating four breakfast sandwiches before they game because... someone dared him to? Opponents, take note: you can neutralize one of Buchlis's best receivers by challenging him to over-eat before games.
#17 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week: Beat Degeneration SeXy 41-28
We won't sugarcoat it: the Jabronies really looked like shit after a 28-7 loss to start the season. Since then Miano has led his team to 41 and 43 point outings (both wins) and reminded the TSL how good he can be when dialed in. Jabronies could be the D3 favorites at the end of the day, if Eric Kleckler doesn't get suspended for fighting a plant or something.
#18 Vince Taverna - Puckett All-Stars
Last Week: Beat Travis Henry's Kids 48-18
Which team is currently the largest favorite to win their division? Okay, you can make an argument for Southside in D6, but Puckett is just crushing people right now. Their two games so far this season have been a 30 point win and a 38 point win. Not even close. Vince QBed this week (and is apparently the man going forward) and we should remind you that Travis Henry's Kids are NOT a terrible opponent, so that's a statement win if ever there was one.
#19 John Langley - Travis Henry's Kids
Last Week: Lost to Puckett All-Stars 48-18
Langley had been doing so well lately with solid wins over Cobblestone and PWI. That ass kicking by Puckett has to sting. Apparently John was hurt during the game and didn't finish, which likely explains the 18 point offensive showing. Hopefully nothing serious, because THK will be in trouble without their QB1. Unless of course, Pete can also QB better than John...
#20 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Let's Get Reccked 19-12
Can't Touch This started the season with two high scoring losses, and now they add a low scoring win to their resume. We're guessing that last one feels a lot better. You'll hear it on this website and podcasts a hundred times, so sorry if this is boring reading, but Ryan really DOES have the best arm in the League.
Fancy Statistics Section
Next week, the sample size should FINALLY be big enough that we can look at some stats and see how the League is shaping up. So stay tuned!
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That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! We don't currently have our own email address anymore, so if you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.
What's YOUR ranking?