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Hello and welcome back to your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  It has been admittedly a slow start to the season as many top teams and their QBs have asked for bye weeks to start the Fall session.  Probably a combination of weddings, anticipation of the brutal heat, or in the case of Ben Stack just cancelling your team's game a couple hours before kickoff.  Either way, it's been difficult to assess QB play with such small sample sizes from the TSL's best passers; plus we barely even know who is throwing for certain teams yet, as many have only had one game.  

So this week we thought we'd do something a little different.

In addition to the QB Power Rankings (and we'll still start with those... it is the name of our article after all) we're also going to present the long awaited, always-teased-but-never-delivered Female Receiver Rankings.  Yes, feelings will be hurt, angry emails will be sent, and everyone will agree we did a terrible job, but that's the name of the game when you're in charge of rankings.  Get ready to get angry that we didn't pick the girls on your team!

With that said, let's start with the QB Rankings.

VERY little movement this week, and ironically the only two QBs in the Top Ten that rose or fell didn't even play this week!  Sounds suspect already.  Let's whip through this.

#1 David "Bro" Kleckler - Tight Ends in Motion - (Previous Rank #1)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Congrats on your wedding Bro!  There might not be a nicer, more likeable guy in the TSL than Bro Kleckler, so make sure to congratulate him and his wife Kelly at the fields next time you see them.  The defending champs lost in his absence, but marriage is a pretty solid excuse.  Makes us wonder though, who's in charge of TEIM's schedule requests to NOT ask for a bye week on their QB's wedding day?  How did organizational skills like this win D1 last session?

#2 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown - (Previous Rank #2)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Bye week for the undefeated Bobby McConnell, and it looks like he'll have a bye again next week.  

#3 Chris Cole - Public Enemy - (Previous Rank #3)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Unexpected bye week (or is it a forfeit? it hasn't been marked as one on the website yet) for Public Enemy as Slob Kabombs cancelled the game early Saturday morning with attendance issues.  Cole still averaging 53 PPG after two weeks.

#4 Jordan Lawson - Losing Streak / Victorious Secret - (Previous Rank #5)

Last Week:  Beat Tight Ends in Motion 32-26

Big week for Jordan as Losing Streak takes down the defending champs for their first D1 win.  No, it doesn't affect his Ranking because TEIM was missing Bro, Eric, Nick etc but still an impressive feat to beat ANY combination of Tight Ends.  Also: shame on us for not mentioning Victorious Secret last week when they beat Graves Bros 41-12 (they didn't play this week).  Dominant win for a gender team that struggled most of last session.  The path for Jordan moving up in the Power Rankings goes through the three men above him, and until he has a head-to-head win against the Big Three, he's kind of stuck at #4.

#5 Mike Thomas - Sticky Bandits - (Previous Rank #5)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

Another bye week for Sticky Nation, as they are one of only two teams not to play a game yet this session.

#6 Matty "Ice" Ditullio - A&A / The Angels - (Previous Rank #6)

Last Week:  Beat XTC 41-38, beat When Dove Cries 39-30 (A&A), lost to Grey Hair - Don't Care 20-17 (The Angels)

A&A have a 3-0 record and Matty has the team averaging 39 PPG.  That sounds like a lot (and it is) but strangely it's only tied for fourth in the division offensively.  D2 has so much firepower this year, it's a credit to Matty and Co that they've started off this season so strong with three one-score wins.  The Angels are still waiting to taste their first win of the year unfortunately, but they're too absurdly talented to wait much longer for that.  Matty remains the highest ranked D2/D3 QB... for now.

#7 Alex Buchlis - The Notorious BNB - (Previous Rank #7)

Last Week:  Beat Passed Our Prime 42-39

The Notorious BNB have been THE most exciting team to watch in the TSL so far this season, having played two games that were each settled on the very last play.  Alex is tied with Matty at 39 PPG, but his 1-1 record compared to A&A's 3-0 (plus the 1-point head to head loss from two weeks ago) has him a half step behind in the Power Rankings.  

#8 Jeremy "Hogan" Olsen - Passed Our Prime - (Previous Rank #8)

Last Week:  Lost to The Notorious BNB 42-39

Apparently we should be calling him Hogan instead of Olsen, since that's what everyone else calls him.  Passed Our Prime dropped a close one to Notorious BNB on a semi-controversial "was it or wasn't it a TD" that would have won them the game on the last play.  Hogan's still #8 in our Power Rankings and yes, of COURSE he's still the highest scoring QB in D2 at 46.5 PPG.

#9 Dylan Jaloza - TopShot - (Previous Rank #10)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

No game for TopShot this week.  Dylan rises one spot in the Power Rankings for doing nothing.

#10 Brandt Dubey - XTC - (Previous Rank #9)

Last Week:  Did Not Play

XTC played this week, but Dubey apparently bailed right before game time leaving Joey Batts to QB instead (XTC fell to A&A 41-38).  Dubey goes to #10 for his late absence.

**

But enough about quarterbacking - it's time for the first ever Female Receiver Power Rankings!

A few ground rules first:

• This isn't an "overall female player" ranking, this is a receiver only ranking.  Play great defense but you have shaky hands?  You didn't make this list.  You're a great gender QB when the team needs that emergency red zone 8 points?  You didn't make this list.  We are evaluating receiver skills only.  Nothing else.
• The Committee voted on this list based on what we know about each receiver and her abilities today.  It is NOT intended to be a lifetime achievement award (you were great ten years ago?  cool story, but you didn't make the list) and it is NOT intended to be purely a "who's done the best so far two weeks into this season" ranking either (you have five TDs through two weeks but you were ineffective for three years before that?  you didn't make the list).  In a sense it's just like the QB Rankings we do every week, in that we're trying to capture who we feel is really "the best" if you needed a girl tomorrow to help you win a big game.
• A player's worth as a receiver is not based SOLELY on one factor.  This isn't just speed.  This isn't just hands.  This isn't just route running or physicality or high football IQ.  It's all of those things and how each player puts them together.
• If a player is not active right now, she did not make the list.  Let's call this the "Katie Salisbury rule" (Katie would likely be our #1 right now if she were considered eligible).
• Also: this is INTENDED to be a fun exercise to shine the spotlight on some of the best female players in the TSL.  It is not INTENDED to imply that you or your teammates suck because they didn't make a list of the Top Ten Female receivers in the League.  There are 50 teams in the TSL. with at least three to four girls per team (ignore gender teams for a second, it's high level math).  That's about 150 girls in total.  If we snubbed you on our VERY subjective Top Ten, it's no "insult" intended.

We had four members of the QB Committee each submit their rankings (are there exactly four of us on the Committee, or are we saying only four of us voted?  we'll continue to be vague about the makeup of this group) and what was interesting was that exactly five girls made all four of our lists.  Guess what: they're going to be the Top Five girls on this list.  The other six were named on multiple lists but not ALL of them, so we feel like we've got a pretty good consensus here.  Yes, doing a "Top Eleven" instead of a Top Ten sounds weird, but there was a tie in our math and we didn't want to split hairs on who the last entry would be.

Let's start with a few honorable mentions that received multiple votes but ultimately missed our Top Ten.  Apologies of course if we butcher the spelling of your name.  In alphabetical (not Ranked!) order:

• Emily Belfield
• Heather Cepuchowski
• Brittany Clarke
• Misty Himes
• Caitlyn Mason
• Kellie Mazur
• Allie Metzger
• Rylee Moser
• Taylor Pagano
• Cat Peters
• Jen Stachura
• Laura Streeter
• Jackee Thompson

Now... on to the Female Receiver Power Rankings!  For added drama, we'll count down from 10th to 1st on this one.

10th-T: Lindsay Stoddard - Tight Ends in Motion, The Angels

Voters on our Committee all said the same thing - if she played more often, she might be a top five receiver on this list.  Maybe the most difficult female receiver in the League to defend in man coverage, Lindsay WILL get open, and she WILL make an incredible catch when she needs to.  Good luck covering her with another girl.

10th-T: Christine Krol - Sticky Bandits

The best female receiver on the Sticky Bandits, Christine might rank even higher if we factored in defensive ability.  She's got the speed to run sideline to sideline and the deep threat ability that so many QBs WISHED they had in a female receiver.  We feel confident saying that Sticky Nation wouldn't have made the climb to D1 without Christine.

9th: Jaimie Warren - Scared Hitless, Lenny's Ladies

Jaimie is part of one of the most stacked female rosters in the League with Scared Hitless, and a dominant playmaker for Lenny's Ladies as well.  A top tier athlete (and former TSL MVP) Jaimie runs incredible routes, can outmuscle guys on contested catches, and has an underrated vertical leap.  If you've played against her, you already know who she is.

8th: Amy Taylor - Losing Streak, The Notorious BNB

Teams will try to cover Amy with a male defender and still repeatedly fail at the task.  How do you stop perfect hands, smart route running and physical playmaking?  Not with a short defender apparently, because Amy will just catch it right over their head.  There are girls who might be faster than Amy, but not many can compete with how effective she is.

7th: Emily Curry - Tight Ends in Motion, The Angels

Fast AND quick, Emily Curry (Jaskier?) has a ridiculous catch window as she can pull in grounders or passes thrown too high.  Her routes are always very crisp and she has a knack for getting open on nearly every play.  Emily also has a great ability to recognize that a play is breaking down and adjust to help out her quarterback, which makes her one of the most valuable female receivers in the game.

6th: Margo Jablonski - The Angels

Margo has just about every trait you could want in a receiver: she's fast, she can make people miss, she runs great routes, she can improvise, she's tough and physical, she can catch just about anything... yeah, that's a pretty complete list.  Just an incredible talent that you wouldn't want to see across the field from you in a championship game.

5th: Brandy Clarke - When Doves Cries, Cunning Stunts

Brandy is a veteran of the League but somehow inexplicably still seems to improve every session.  Her route running is fantastic, she always seems to be open, and she ALWAYS seems to make the play when it's thrown her way. The first of five unanimous selections that every one of our voters chose for these Rankings.

4th: Cheryl Julicher - Public Enemy

Cheryl may go down as the GOAT whenever she retires (does she ride off into the sunset with Public Enemy?), and she has been the standard for years on what a top female can be in this League.  Her speed isn't elite, but she has great hands, she's tough as nails, gets open, and always makes the play that needs to be made.  There's a reason she's won so many D1 titles.

3rd: Melanie Linsmair - Scared Hitless, Untouchaballs

We would venture a guess that up to this point, you've probably heard of everyone on this list, but Melanie Linsmair is newer to the League and you may not be aware of her yet.  You'll learn the name soon, we promise.  "Sticky hands blonde chick" is just about unstoppable on offense and she is constantly finding ways to get open.  If she's ever dropped a pass, we haven't seen it. 

2nd: Katie Keller - XTC, 4th and Dong

You already know who she is.  Katie gets open, she makes people miss.  She can catch a ball while defenders are absolutely hacking at her arms.  She gives you 50 minutes of competitive effort every game, and there never seems to be any "look at me" or bragging to her game... she just moves from one great play to the next like it's all business.  

1st: Robin Makula - Tight Ends in Motion, The Angels

Robin is, at this moment, the best female receiver in the TSL.  There's no one more more clutch, more focused and intense when the game is on the line, and more athletically gifted than Robin.  She's also an incredibly smart player who seems to learn from mistakes and constantly adapt to improve.  There isn't a team in the TSL that wouldn't immediately improve by adding Robin Makula.  Oh, and it looks like Tight Ends in Motion officially has three girls in the Top Ten... NOT including a recovering Katie Salisbury.  Solid team.  We think they'll win some games.

So you've finished reading our Female Receiver Rankings and our guess is that right now you have one of two complaints about it: we either didn't mention you or your teammate at ALL ("what an outrage! this is bullshit!")... or we did mention you or your teammate, but didn't rank them as highly as they "deserve".  Here's what you can do about it: write us an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and whine about what a terrible job we did.  But keep in mind - we're happy to hear arguments for how great a player is... but not at the expense of one of the women who are listed above.  So don't come at us with "Jenny Smith is way better than Brandy Clarke!" because we will write you back on essay on why NO, she is not.

***

And that's it for this week!  As always, if you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (your team’s QB should be ranked higher?  you want female defensive player rankings too?  you think we did Dubey dirty by docking him a spot in the Rankings for not showing up last week?) please send an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..   Seriously, we can do this BETTER if you TELL us about your team!

What’s YOUR ranking?

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