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TSL Quarterback Power Rankings – Final Fall 2019 Rankings

Ladies and gentlemen, your final Fall 2019 TSL Quarterback Power Rankings:

We won’t get into each QB’s performance this week.  We’re just going to make a few observations instead.

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Last season it was obvious that our final #1 Ranking would belong to Chris Cole, and this season (although he didn’t go undefeated like Cole) the #1 Ranking pretty clearly belongs to Bobby McConnell.  Eyes Downtown are in 1^st place in D1, with the highest points per game.  Score the most points and win the most games in the highest division, and it’s easy to figure out where you belong in the Power Rankings.  Although he was CLEARLY the best, he wasn’t the best by a LOT, as Public Enemy, Tight Ends in Motion and Marketing Mayors all finished with winning records AND were within a few points of Eyes Downtown in PPG.  ED might be the betting favorite in the playoffs, but anyone is capable of winning this division.  No, not Gryffindor, but anyone ELSE.  (Although wouldn’t it be incredible if Gryffindor picked up their first, second and third D1 wins of the season in the playoffs to shock the world???  Can’t wait to see what kind of odds the Godfather gives them).

Congrats to Matty Ice for winning this week’s D2 showdown against Topper, stealing back his #4 Ranking in the process.  These were the two BEST teams in D2… and yet strangely Peachy Platoon passed them both to finish 8-2 and seize the first round bye for the Playoffs.  What???  A&A and Hofbrauhaus BOTH beat Peachy Platoon this season (and every other team in D2), but due to some “unique” scheduling, A&A and Hofbrauhaus had to play each other twice, AND they both had to play cross-divisional games against D1 teams (Peachy didn’t), AND Peachy was the only team in the League to get a 10^th game.  This perfect storm of, for lack of a better term, “scheduling bullshit” allowed Peachy Platoon to STEAL the #1 seed and first round bye from two DEBATABLY better teams.  Maybe this is karma for the controversial A&A/Peachy game earlier this session?  We’re not sure.  Interesting though that the two teams negatively impacted by this scheduling have Topper and Rameer on their rosters… you’d think they’d be the absolute LAST guys in this League to get fucked by a scheduling quirk, but here we are.

Is there a hotter QB in the TSL right now than Tim Zielinski going into the playoffs?  Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers started the season 0-4, but they’re 5-0 since and averaging 50 points a game during that stretch (with two wins over Cunning Stunts!).  Can Travis interview Tim next week?  The world needs to know how Uncle Rico’s turned their season around.

The final Top Ten consisted of all five D1 quarterbacks, four D2 quarterbacks and one D3 quarterback.  Feels about right.  The final Top Twenty consisted of all five D1 quarterbacks, five (out of seven) D2 quarterbacks, seven (out of ten) D3 quarterbacks, two (out of four, excluding Matty and Joey) D4 quarterbacks, and one D5 quarterback. 

It gets a little cumbersome to show all twenty of these people in a graph, so here’s your Top Ten, their average points per game, and colored by what division they play in:

We put this out there knowing FULL well that it raises questions (why isn’t Mike McKenrick higher in the Rankings?  Why isn’t Newman lower?) but that’s the fun of Power Rankings – people can look at the same standings and stats, and watch the same games, and come to very different conclusions about who’s “the best”.  Take our word for it, it’s a never a simple question. 

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If you think the colors on THAT were annoying, get ready for our end of year Stat rankings!  Just like last season, we’ve tried to break down each division to show which teams had the best offenses (points per game), defenses (points per game allowed) and overall point differential (average +/- per game).  To make it easier to find your team in various columns, we decided to color code everyone based on their “official” team color scheme (if you share the same color as someone else, we might have picked a different color for you… we can only show so many blacks and grays).  This is a visual abomination, we know, but fuck it, we spent a lot of time on coloring this so we’re not changing it back now.  Here you go!

Division 1

The Headline: Four contenders, one Gryffindor.

Underrated:  People discuss D1 like it’s a foregone conclusion that one of the “Big Three” will win it, but let’s look at Tight Ends in Motion.  They quietly won their last two games to slip into an unexpected first round bye; they’re less than a point behind Eyes Downtown for the best offense in the division; they’re the best defense in the division by a full touchdown per game; and they have the best point differential in the division by a full touchdown per game.  All four of the “contenders” score about the same number of points per week (between 29 and 33) but apparently only TEIM knows how to play defense.  History and reputation say they can’t beat the teams above them in the standings, but the stats say they should almost be considered the favorites here.

Overrated:  It’s no surprise that Gryffindor is dead last in the standings, the offensive rankings (a full TD below the next worst team), the defensive rankings (a full TD below the next worst team) and point differential (two full TDs below the next worst team).  What is a little surprising is that our defending champions are that “next worst team” in every category.  Marketing Mayors won it ALL just a few months ago, but now they’re fourth out of five teams in every category, with a negative point differential.  Okay, they were outscored by only 2 total points this year, but that’s still surprising from the only team that can rightfully call themselves the defending LEAGUE Champs right now.

Division 2

The Headline:  Three contenders, four underdogs looking for an upset, one disqualified/replaced/playoff-ineligible team

Underrated:  If we had to pick a true underdog here, we might suggest Dilf’s; they have an average defense, average offense, almost neutral point differential, so not IMPOSSIBLE that they get hot at the right time, especially with Travis and Katie on their roster.  But realistically one of the top three teams in this division is going to win it, so we’re going to pick Peachy Platoon as our most underrated team.  Not underrated in the traditional sense of course (we all know they’re good, and they’re the freaking #1 seed) but their chances of winning the division might be underrated, because their #1 seeding means they should only need to beat ONE of the other great teams in this division, while Hofbrauhaus and A&A will have to beat two. 

Damn, we picked #1 Peachy Platoon as our D2 underrated team AND listed their QB as #1 on our Non-QB Impact Players list last week… we give these guys way too much love in this article.

Overrated:  Can we really pick a 7-2 team with the #4 Ranked QB in the League as an underdog?  Sure, why not.  A&A has beaten EVERY team in the division this session so we wouldn’t be shocked at all to see them win the D2 crown this session.  But if we look at the numbers (and frankly that’s all this article does) we’ll see they’re a step behind Hofbrauhaus and Peachy on the offensive side, middle of the pack in defensive PPG, and a full two TD’s behind their biggest rivals in average point differential per game.  That’s a pretty steep drop off that suggests we’ll be seeing Peachy vs Hofbrauhaus in the finals, not A&A.  They’re going to need a LOT of BDE from Matty to pull this one off.

Division 3

The Headline:  Most wide open division in the TSL this season

Underrated:  There are two teams that stand out in our average point differentials as being the frontrunners of this division: NPI has two losses by a combined 7 points, and AWDIQ has two losses by a combined 4 points… and then a third loss by 13 points to NPI.  So NPI is a clear favorite, and AWDIQ looks to us like the clear #2 (despite being #3 in the standings).  But neither of these teams are really “underrated” because we all know they’re the favorites.  We’ll take End Game as our most underrated team in this division on the strength of their three game winning streak to wrap up the season, including quality wins over #2 seed Frodo Swaggins and #4 seed Jabronies. 

Also, Jabronies went 5-3-1 this season but they were 5-2-0 against teams that made the playoffs.  Not sure if “we couldn’t beat teams that didn’t make the playoffs” is a good reason to call a team “underrated”, but hey maybe it gives them an edge if they match up well against the teams that are still remaining.

Overrated:  Frodo Swaggins might be the most “overrated” team, and it’s not because they’re not good enough to win it all – as the #2 seed, they’ve clearly won plenty of games this session.  But Frodo seems to lack consistency from week to week, and their +2.56 average point differential suggests that they were probably a little lucky to go 6-3 this season, as they should have finished closer to .500.

Division 4

The Headline:  It’s Matty’s Angels, and then it’s everyone else

Underrated:  Two teams stand out here.  Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers are riding a 5 game winning streak and just blasting teams with their unstoppable offense.  Yeah, their defense is garbage, but it doesn’t matter if they keep outscoring everyone.  This team looked like a joke a month into the season, but now the joke’s on everyone that has to play them.

The other “underrated” team is Matty’s Angels.  Yes, you already know they’re going to win the division, so how can they be underrated?  We STILL feel they’re not getting enough credit for what they’ve accomplished this season.  Look at the point differentials above.  Four of the six teams in this division are negative, and Cunning Stunts are winning by an average of 3.5 PPG.  Matty’s Angels are winning by 28.11 PPG, more than 24 points better than the next best team.  Their two losses are by a combined four points.  This is, in a word, insane.

Overrated:  Remember last session when D5 was essentially a two team race between the gender teams?  That’s not what’s happening this season.  Yes, Cunning Stunts are good, but they’re overrated if people believe they’re in some kind of equal rivalry with the Angels because of how last season ended.  Cunning Stunts CAN beat the Angels this season (they did, just this past week) but the numbers say we shouldn’t bet on it in the playoffs.

Division 5

The Headline:  Over Compensators and En Fuego seem destined for the finals; everyone else, thanks for coming

Underrated:  Over Compensators is the #1 offense, #1 point differential, AND the #1 defense if you don’t count the pair of 21-0 forfeit wins En Fuego got from Cobblestone this session… but they’re not underrated.  We’ll pick Hope N Ruin here.  Like Uncle Rico’s, they started the season 0-4, but they’ve gone 4-1 since then, with their four wins each coming by an average of about 14 points.  If anyone has the momentum to pull off an upset, it’s HNR.

Overrated:  No one’s REALLY underrated or overrated here, as this is the ONLY division in TSL this session where the point differentials rankings EXACTLY match the standings (look at the chart above) which suggests that teams finished exactly where they should have in the standings.  But if we were forced to choose one “overrated” team we’d say maybe Hung Buffalo.  Their #3 seed implies they have a chance to win this division, and we don’t see it happening.  They’re 5-4 but they lost to Over Compensators by 17 points and En Fuego by 20.  These are the teams you have to beat if you want a shot at the D5 title this season, and Hung Buffalo hasn’t shown that they can hang with either of these teams despite their winning record.

Division 6

The Headline: We have no idea who’s going to win this division

Underrated:  TMA finished as the #2 seed, but they’re the best defense in the League (not the division, but the whole damn League) and the best point differential in D6.  Sure, there was a forfeit win over Wild Oak Beard Co at the end of the season, but they held Shattered Dreams, Tater Tots and BiPolar Express to single digit points in those games, so they seem to know what they’re doing defensively.  On the offensive side they WOULD have finished #1 in their division too, but that forfeit win ironically hurt them here, as it “held” them to only a 21-0 win (they’d be 33.5 ppg if we threw out the forfeit entirely). 

Overrated:  If we look at defensive points per game, D6 really breaks into three categories, and we think it’ll be easier to spot in the form of a graph:

The good, the bad, and the Blitzkrieg.  There’s not a WHOLE lot of differentiation on the offensive side, as each team is basically a point ahead or behind someone else.  But defense breaks the division very clearly into “contenders” and “everyone else”.  BiPolar express was third in the division in offensive PPG, but they’re the first of the “bad” defenses, which is going to make it real tough to win three games in a row in the playoffs.  BiPolar Express is our pick for “most overrated D6 team” going into the playoffs.

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These are your FINAL League Leaders for the 2019 Fall Season (excluding We Back, who were truly a special category of awfulness):

·         Best Offensive Team – Matty’s Angels, 48.4 PPG

·         Best Offensive Team Non-Gender – Hofbrauhaus Buffalo, 42.6 PPG

·         Worst Offensive Team – Pink Pteratacos, 11.1 PPG

·         Best Defensive Team – TMA, 16.2 PPG

·         Worst Defensive Team – Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, 45.6 PPG

·         Best Point Differential – Matty’s Angels, +28.1 PPG

·         Best Points Differential Non-Gender – Over Compensators, +21.4 PPG

·         Worst Point Differential – Pink Pteratacos, -17.2 PPG

·         Longest Current Win Streak – Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers, 5

·         Longest Current Losing Streak – Blitzkrieg, 7

·         Remaining Undefeated Teams: None

·         Remaining Winless Teams: None

Both of our previous “longest winning streak” teams LOST to heated rivals this week, with Eyes Downtown falling to Public Enemy and Over Compensators (the last remaining undefeated team!) falling to En Fuego.  Pink Pteratacos (the last remaining winless team!) broke their share of the longest losing streak in the League with a one point win over Cobblestone, ensuring that every single team in the TSL this season has at least one win and one loss (even Schilling Em Softly picked up a win this week).  The only unfortunate streak from last week to continue on into the playoffs is Blitzkrieg… who have now lost 7 in a row.

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That’s it for this season!  If you have any thoughts on why you hate this article (“less is more” when it comes to coloring charts?  you demand updated Rankings throughout the playoffs?  you still wish we ranked each division separately?), please send complaints to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. 

What’s YOUR ranking?

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