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TSL Quarterback Rankings – Spring 2019, Final Standings

The FINAL TSL Quarterback Power Rankings of the Spring 2019 Season are here.

Okay, we weren’t bold enough to show our FULL Power Rankings for every starting QB because we don’t want to hurt feelings (and we don’t want Topper and Rameer flooded with hate mail) but a Top Twenty is still pretty good!

A few observations before we move on to even MORE obnoxious charts:

After one full season of Power Rankings, we have never had anyone in the highest spot other than Chris Cole (#1) who swept the season from start to finish.  The Streak is at 19 games and counting, and we’re two playoff games away from Public Enemy matching the New England Patriots’ NFL record 21 game winning streak.  Congrats on your success this season… but no one’s going to care how many games you won if Bobby McConnell (#3) goes home with the trophy at the end of the day.

Final Matty Stats for the season: 19-4 record as a starter, 864 points scored.  We would love to think he averaged 8.64 points per scoring drive to finish with 100 TD’s (you can’t prove he didn’t).  No, he couldn’t beat Chris Cole in the end, but Matty (#2) had a great season and is a credible threat to win THREE championships in the coming weeks.  A&A will be the toughest we imagine, the way Joey Batts (#4) is playing lately.

We were going to point out that Frodo Swaggins had the most points scored of any Non-Gender team this season, but the Sentinel smartly beat us to it.  Scott Drosendahl (#11) is a real candidate for Rookie of the Year (that’s still a banquet award, right?), and with Garrett Beesing (#24) as his backup, these guys put up some serious points this year.

We still love Dean Thompson (#9) but, uh, is that running play Peachy Platoon busts out every game even remotely legal?  Refs are going to be watching more closely in the playoffs I’m sure – good thing Dean can win with his arm too.

Hey Joe Miano (#18) – you’re the real deal, and so are the rest of Jabronies.  Win or lose come playoffs, can we count on you to move up a division or two and see what you can do?  No one else can beat Public Enemy… why not Joe Miano?

Blase Laduca (#16), your analysis was adorable.  Ugandan Warriors were awesome this season!  Sixth in the League for points scored, third in your division.  Don’t think we didn’t notice you – you’re a great QB, and next season you’ve got a real shot at the Top Ten.  But hey, maybe leave the charts to the pros?  The column widths, the spelling errors, the #VALUE error messages.  Ugh.  TSL is the BIG LEAGUES kid, we’ve got this.  (We’re totally kidding, and love that you cared enough to do your own self-serving analysis… that was awesome.)

And now, here are the end of season stats to recognize the best teams in the League.  Like our QB Power Rankings, we’ll give you Top Twenty lists this week to go out with a bang – let’s start with our best and worst of the season on Offense:

Footnote to all of these charts: the official League standings show Energy Buff and Money Ball as playing only 8 games because they weren’t able to schedule their last game of the season against each other.  For the sake of not skewing our stats, we’re treating that game as a 21-21 tie.

Out of 46 teams in the League (Breakfast Club, as always, is not included in these charts), 22 scored more than 30 points per game on average.  The only team to score more than 40 ppg ALSO scored more than 50 ppg – Matty’s Angels just DESTROYED the field this year offensively, with 463 total points.  Impressive, Matty!  44 out of 46 teams averaged between 20-40 points per game.  Matty’s Angels of course was the only team above that range, but TSL also had one below, and it’s another gender team – the Bipolar Express, with 19.67 ppg.  Less impressive, Gordon!  

Also worth noting, of the ten best offenses in the League (really eleven, with a tie at tenth place), only seven had Quarterbacks in our final Power Rankings Top Ten.  Did we sell Drosendahl, Miano, Clark and Laduca short this year?  Maybe.  Strangely, if we look at the ten WORST offenses in the League this year, we also had three of THOSE teams’ Quarterbacks in our Power Rankings Top Ten at one point throughout the year (though none lasted to our final rankings).  So if you want to debate how terrible we are at ranking League Quarterbacks, hey, we don’t blame you.

On to defenses:

Unsurprisingly, team defensive averages are much like team offensive averages, and most teams fall between that 20-40 ppg range with points allowed.  Only End Game and GLBS averaged less than 20 points per game allowed, and only Five Star Generals averaged more than 40 points per game allowed.  Our top two defenses this year actually played other in Week 1, with End Game beating GLBS 20-13 in a predictably low scoring game. 

Poor 3^rd & Schlong – they jumped from 14^th worst defense in the league to 5^th worst with one bad game against Frodo Swaggins in the last week of the season.

Does defense even matter?  Let’s ask our gender teams.  Matty’s Angels is third worst in the League, and still undefeated.  The Bipolar Express is third best in the League, and finished in last place.  What?

Now on to Point Differentials – who had the best and worst +/- in the League this season?

End Game shouldn’t surprise you – they were best in the League on defense and 7^th best on offense.  Matty’s Angels is just fascinating… how do you finish with the third worst defense in the League, and end up second in point differential?  (Answer: truly insane offensive numbers.)

We all love Cobblestone, so NO ONE is going to point out that they had the worst point differential, second worst defense, and third worst offense in the League.  NO ONE POINT THAT OUT PLEASE.

We had wondered earlier how Jabronies would fair against Public Enemy.  In all likelihood they’d get beat by a hundred points, BUT the comparison between these teams is interesting – Public Enemy outscored opponents 321-230, and Jabronies outscored opponents 319-230.  Maybe three years from now we’ll be talking about Jabronies record setting 25 game winning streak.

And here is the division by division comparison, where we’ve included intra-division offensive rank, defensive rank, +/- rank, and each team’s actual rank in the standings (you know, the only ranking that matters):

The number one offense is in first place in four divisions.  The number one defense is in first place in three divisions.  End Game is the only team in both categories, as the only team with a clean sweep of #1 in every category in their division.  Cobblestone is dead last in offense, defense, and plus/minus… but not in the standings, and never in our hearts.

That’s it for the Spring 2019 TSL QB Power Rankings!  Good luck in the playoffs, and we hope you enjoyed reading about how bad your Quarterback was this year!

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