• Print
• Email

Chris Cole (#1) beats Bobby McConnell (#3) and the debate over which QB should be ranked higher this week dies before it even began.  That’s a shame, because we in the Power Rankings committee were really looking forward to diving into it.  PUBLIC ENEMY HAS WON 17 GAMES IN A ROW.  If you are a regular reader of this article (there must be one or two…) then you’ve been counting with us and you knew this already.  Can we take a minute to point out that this streak is happening in the highest division of the most competitive League in Western New York co-ed football?  We can’t say for certain, but lacking any secret TSL archives from previous seasons we’re not aware of (God only knows what’s in Topper’s basement) can we just go ahead and proclaim this a new League Record?  And of COURSE Bobby does not drop in the rankings for losing this game.  You know how it works by now.

Poor Matty Ice (#2), keeps winning games (3-1 this week, with his only loss to a team he ALSO BEAT an hour earlier) but can’t crack that #1 spot no matter what he does.  Breakfast club win, 51 points scored with Matty’s Angels, and 7 point win and loss to Energy Buff this week.  Your 2019 Matty Stats to date: 15-3 record, 661 points scored.  Matty’s going to throw for 100 TDs this season, and he might do it as early as next week (math is hard, don’t ask us to show our work on that).

Marketing Mayors is the best team in TSL right now that DOESN’T have a 17 game win-streak going, and Dalfonso (#4) moves up a spot in the rankings this week.  Unlike Matty, Mark actually CAN move up in the Rankings again next week with a head to head win over Bobby and Eyes Downtown.  The League will be watching this one closely.

Gryffindor has clawed their way back to a .500 record with a 32-14 win over Money Ball, and Joey Batts (#5) moves up a spot.  The Power Rankings had a very difficult time ranking Joey and Travis (#6) this week, as both are heating up and winning games.  Up next for Bullet Club: a cross-divisional game against Public Enemy!  Take down the streak and make yourself famous, Travis.  We promise we’ll put you ahead of Joey if you can pull that off (full disclosure: our money is always on Cole). 

Travis’s victim this week was a Title Shot team in free fall – after three wins to start the season, they’ve lost four in a row, including a 40-14 spanking by Bullet Club.  We figured the fate of Dubey (#7) should match his team’s, so we have him dropping three spots in the Power Rankings this week.  We’re not sure a date with Bobby McConnell and Eyes Downtown this week is the best way to break that losing streak either… will a fifth loss in a row for Title Shot drop Dubey out of the Top Ten?

While Dubey’s on the verge of dropping out, Newman (#8) has busted his way back into the Top Ten in a big way, with wins over Frodo Swaggins (46-36) and Sticky Bandits (27-16).  Newman looked great throughout, and reminded the Power Rankings committee why we were so high on him at the start of the season.  Slytherin is a half game out of first place in Rec 1, and looks destined to play All We Do Is Quinn in the 1^st vs 2^nd matchup on June 15^th.  They can’t afford to look past Morning Wood this week though, who still have great athletes despite a rough season and are capable of pulling out a win against anyone.

Peachy Platoon went 1-1 this week, and although they lost to 3^rd & Schlong 36-34 this week, we’re actually moving Dean Thompson (#9) up a spot by virtue of beating AWDIQ.  The Quinners were Qlosers this week (see what we did there?) for the first time in 14 games, breaking the second longest unbeaten streak in the League.  Peach Platoon is for real!  NO one wants to play these guys in the postseason.  

Finally we have Ricky Austin (#10) rounding out our Top Ten this week.  Tough week for Ricky!  We won’t get into all his reffing adventures, but he’s currently splitting time at QB with a still-recovering Alex Buchlis (#13) on Tight Ends in Motion, which makes it difficult for either QB to establish too much momentum.  Alex looked like he played well for Sticky Bandits this week, with a win against Morning Wood (32-30) and a loss to Slytherin That End Zone (27-16).  Is he destined for a Newman-esque Top Ten comeback of his own?  We’ll find out next week when TEIM plays A&A in a cross-divisional game, and Sticky Bandits take on 3^rd & Schlong.

Garrett Beesing (#21) may not crack the Top Ten this week, but he had one of the finest shoeless performances in League History this week, beating Natural Born Kellers 42-39 in Breakfast Club despite his equipment issues. 42 points is a season high for Hot TaMolly’s – shoes were only holding you back Garrett.

And now, because we can’t help ourselves, here are some more charts you DEFINITELY didn’t ask for!  Two weeks ago we looked at each team’s offensive points per game, and last week we looked at each team’s defensive points per game.  This week we take an in-depth look at special teams stats.

Just kidding.  Can you imagine reading about punting stats?  Instead, here’s a combination of offensive and defensive rankings.  We’ll start with +/- per team, adjusted by number of games played.  Here are your ten best teams in the League for margin of victory through six weeks:

Five teams in the League are winning by an average of more than one score per game.  Cunning Stunts and Matty’s Angels are no surprise on this list.  Ugandan Warriors and End Game just show you how biased this article has been towards top division teams, as we NEVER mention these guys despite their consistent success.  Our other undefeated team (Public Enemy – maybe you’ve heard of their winning ways?) makes an unsurprising appearance here as well.  Interesting to see Practice Squad on here too – until beating Jabronies this week, they were flying under the radar a bit.  Rec 4 is suddenly a two team race from the looks of it.

And here are your ten “best” teams for margin of defeat:

Hey Cobblestone WON this week, so we’re not going to say anything bad about Darryl (#32) or his glorious hair!  Seven teams in total look like they’re losing by an average of more than one score per game.  Hey is that … is that our beloved commissioner Topper (#20) on our “worst margin of defeat” list?  Remember when 1 Todd 2 Many won their first game of the season and the League updated ONLY THEIR GAME in the standings to show them as the “best team in the League” for a few hours?  Man, that feels like a lifetime ago… it hasn’t gone well for them since.  Maybe they should try eliminating some Todds? 

Finally, here’s one more set of charts to show division by division each team’s Average Margin of Victory (or Defeat), and their divisional offensive and defensive rankings (defined as points per game and points against per game) after six weeks:

If your team’s offense is ranked higher than your defense (No Punt Intended, Bullet Club, Frodo Swaggins), your QB should blame everyone else for your team’s failings.  If your team’s defense is ranked higher than your offense (A&A, All We Do Is Quinn, Bipolar Express), your team can blame your Quarterback.  Enjoy discussing with your teammates!

• Prev
• Next