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Ladies and gentlemen of the TSL, welcome to your Week 3 edition of the Sentinel. Taking a quick perusal of the standing page, it seems quite a few teams have already had double headers, pushing them to that half way point of the regular season if you can believe it. Itches and Ohs already have 5 games under their belt while Sticky Bandits, Eyes Downtown, Public Enemy, WoodPeckers and Victorious Secret only have one. My point being that basically anything can happen once all those teams actually play their games. We had a beautiful day this week, let’s take a look at what happened.

In D1, Tight Ends in Motion had a double header themselves and had the band back together. They made easy work of Slob Kabobs then won a close victory over Sticky Bandits in their opening day of the season.  Bro was back in form and found Kyle Coniff and Derek Bongiovanni deep on several occasions. Sticky Bandits once again had the lead going into the half but Bongiovanni had the game winner with an impressive contested TD catch. Sticky Bandits did introduce their most free agency signings, Micah Hanford and Drew Colosimo. Hanford had a pick this game but I’m excited to see what he else he can do.

In D2, XTC and Scared Hitless went at it early. XTC struggled hard on defense as they have been all season. Johnny Football got an easy running touchdown straight down the middle of the field when no one decided to cover him. Dubey had his fair share of errors, including a muffed snap early in the game and a pick trying to force the ball into coverage. Scared Hitless came away with the win and finds themselves in 2^nd in the division. Not a bad start to season.

XTC had another game later on against TopShot. TS’s Sean Weisendal came up with a pick early. Amber Hayes had a wide open running touchdown. XTC did have a chance to win late but the pass to Kelly Sabo was popped up and picked up by Blasé Deluca. XTC finds themselves at the bottom of the division, grateful that all D2 teams make the playoffs.

Top Shot had a game earlier against Notorious BNB. BNB threw 2 early picks to Dave Baker. Amber Hayes had another big game for TopShot while Garrett Beesing complained the whole time about not getting fed as much as was promised in his contract. Dylan Jaloza and Co were down early after 2 picks the other way. Neither were Jaloza’s fault as they bounced off his receivers hands but they were able to battle back and TS came away with the win, 33-22.

Bullet Club fell to When Dove Cries, 28-36. I saw Tim Dove make an appearance for his namesake team. Topper pulled out the old school playbook this game with a lot of trick plays. He seemed to favor the pitch to Drew Colosimo that was working well. At the end of the game, Topper faked the pitch and found Kelly Liddle across field. Bullet Club had a chance to tie with a gender TD, Scotty Dro found Crystal Carlson in the end zone but the ball was dropped. 

A&A snuck by Passed Our Prime in a game that no one wanted to play defense. POP was fresh off a come-from-behind win against Bullet Club. Matty Ice had been at the fields all day so naturally his facilities were not 100% intact. Regardless, he was able to find his receivers downfield and used his females well. James Celatto had a big game for POP. Matty and Hogan could be heard from fields over yelling at the refs for various grievances but ultimately came down to A&A scoring more gender TDs than POP did and A&A running out the clock.

In D3, The Angels got their first win of the season against Last Dance. Ricky Austin was once again not in attendance so Matt Newman took over at QB. LD looked and sounded like a train wreck from the beginning, with more drama than a Spanish soap opera. Any dropped ball, missed coverage or just plain mistake ended with sarcastic comments. Not cool guys. The Angels, on the other hand, looked to be having a great time. They finally managed to shut down some big plays on defense and continued their usual dominance offensively.

Super Freaks lost to Grey Hair-Don’t Care despite bringing in John Langley to throw. Ralph Finney was not in attendance at all. Langley kept them in it but GHDC looked like they were going easy on SFs after an early lead. Xavier Williams was making some great deep plays but ultimately SFs looked lost.

4^th and Dong beat up on Cobblestone, 52-30. All the females in this game played fantastic and each team used them in their own way. Sam Lattuca did not hesitate to throw for her team and Katie Keller was all hands on offense. Cobblestone could not get a stop on defense and struggled on offense. The tall guy on 4&D was unstoppable. If they only had Scott Keller, Sr throwing instead of Scotty Dro, this team would be my pick for D3 champion.

In D4, Today’s Feast fell to Vaspian 42-16. Vaspian’s new QB continued to look solid. TF, however, did what most new teams do and forgot to use their females. They got into way too many 4-2 and 5-2 counts (if anyone on the team reads this, 2 is too many). You have to utilize your females if you are going to be successful in this league.  Especially when you play a gender team. Today’s Feast went on to play Cunning Stunts and the age old “we are quitting if we lose to girls” came out. We hope that’s not true because well, they lost. Not the first time we’ve heard it, not the first time the team has lost. CS played a great game. TF kept trying to go deep and missing their receivers or the defenders made a great play on the ball. TF went through 2 different QBs, neither of whom called any plays. Kelly Liddle had a pick after a ball bounced off a receivers hands. Joey Batts used his ladies efficiently as he does best and they came away with the win, 35-14.

Practice Squad and Puckett All Stars had a great back and forth game. PS picked up Katie Swanson who feasted all game. Number 4 on PS had a big pick followed closely by a Vince Taverna pick, who is proving himself as a solid receiver. PAS was down by two but B threw 2 bad passes to let them back into the game. PAS’s Andy had a pick off Joe Fergusons hands. Fortunately for B, he found Kenny Lantz in the end zone for the winning TD.

Zack Attack and Breast Friends faced each other again after both moving up from last season. BF looked much more like the team we got to know last year. They took what the defense gave them. Zack Attack couldn’t find a way to stop the ladies. They insisted on rushing a girl, giving Travis Cleavenger too much time to scrabble and let his ladies get open. Breast Friends came away with the win, 35-15.

In D5, Wasted Potential beat Lettuce Win, 42-20. Jay Jaskier had a great deep throw to the guy in the Bills shirt. LW’s QB threw 2 picks, one trying to go deep, one off a ladies hands. WP had the distinct advantage of having someone on the sideline giving them advice on defense. LW has the talent, they just need someone to put it all together for them and they could make a stand.

Wasted Potential took on Come From Behind immediately after. CFB was Paul Lovullo-less but the replacement appeared to be a younger and more agile version. Jaskier and Co continued their systematic play. Ricky Booth had a great game with solid catches. Craig Gerhard made an impressive break on the ball to pick off Jaskier and run it down to the 5 yard line only to pitch it back to a female and get picked off by WP again. WP went on to win 35-24.

TOX had a double header and dropped both. They had no answer defensively for either team and seemed to be struggling on defense as well. Dave Walter went in at QB eventually but it was not enough to overcome the deficit they were in. They fell to WoodPeckers and Spinelli’s Plumbing. SP got their first 2 wins since moving up a division and put to rest any doubts about where they belong. WP played their first game of the season with a different cast of characters than what we saw last year. I didn’t see much of this game but I did see Mark Buscaglia had a pick.

Not So Sticky and 716 played a close game with a ton of picks. Derek Pew favored the deep ball to his WR1, whose name I do not know. That was difference maker in the end. Alivia LaRue and Jenna Blachura played very well for NSS while Mike Thomas has 2 INTs in the game. 716 might have had the blunder of the day though at the end of the half when Rags threw a pick that was easily taken back for what should have been a TD. NSS defense didn’t even try to get back (probably because they were thinking about their halftime beers already). Somehow, after waiting for a female to catch up for the gender TD, the exchange was botched and the ball hit the ground. No points, end of half. Ya hate to see it.

In D6, Blitzkrieg shut out Lenny’s Ladies 22-0. LL held on in the first half despite missing several key players. Unfortunately, due to some big drops and bad Joe K passes, they could not generate any offense to find the end zone.

Blitzkrieg and TMA faced off once again. This was close game that was decided by one point. Both teams’ females played outstanding. Ryan Henry was back for TMA. It came down to the wire when TMA went up in the final seconds of the game. Blitzkrieg tried for the Hail Mary for the win but Rich Turner came up with the pick to end it.

That is all for this week. Allow me to leave you with your Top 5 Notable Players of Week 3:

1.      Amber Hayes- all I kept hearing about was the sliding interception she made for TopShot and how no one could cover her on Breast Friends.

2.      Matt Helm- the females on Untouchaballs tend to get all the pub but Helm made an incredible one handed TD catch that deserves recognition.

3.      Matty Ice- not only did he stay all day in between his games to ref, he then went on to win his D2 game while moderately intoxicated.

4.      Katie Salisbury-still recovering from surgery so out for the season, Katie came back to help out because she heard we were in dire need.

5.      Everyone who donated to the Stand Down event. We got so many donations and Topper’s wedding date was overwhelmed at the turn out. We are going to continue collecting next week too for anyone who forgot this week. Thank you! This is just one of many reasons we have the best sports league in the area!

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