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November 10^th in the year of our Lord 2018. Remember the day for it is all about to begin again. On this day (39) teams from all walks of life, each with a different story to tell, will invade the Angry Buffalo looking for the holy grail of social co ed football. There is no bigger trophy in this business than a TSL trophy. Don’t let the others fool you the best teams play here PERIOD!

What stories are about to unfold? Joe K did a great job stacking the deck last session but now that the TSL has taken away his “security blanket” how will the Club fare this time having to win it all the ole’ fashioned way? What must Topper be thinking this time around? This might be his best look yet at a D3 title as his team is loaded. Can Topper shake the “bad weather” QB stereotype once and for all and will his team to greatness?  Will we get our “girl power” final once and for all? If we do will the personalities of the (2) QBs get in the way of perhaps the greatest battle in recent memory? And while we are on the subject am I the only one that remembers right now the reigning and DEFENDING D5 champion is a team called Hope n Ruin?  Can anyone stop Puckett All Stars? Will 3^rd and Schlong make good on their promise to run over D4 on their way to their “date with destiny” and Bullet Club in D3 next session? Are Peachy Platoon and Celino Sewer Rats destined to have at it one more time or from the ashes will Practice Squad or The McKenzie Agency crash the party? And what of the fiercest and most bitter rivalry of them all? Are Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy destined to clash on the grandest of stages for all the marbles one more time? At which point in this rivalry will each and every member of each team realize that the Yankees need the Red Sox, Ohio State needs Michigan, Auburn needs Alabama, Don Bosco Prep needs Bergen Catholic. Whether they want to admit it or not Eyes Downtown and Public Enemy need each other more than they know. In a year, maybe 2 maybe 5 both teams will look back and realize right here and right now they are embroiled in the greatest rivalry in TSL History. While we are on the subject there is a team in light blue jerseys that are former D1 champions and they sit quietly waiting in the weeds to strike, how come no is talking about them, they should be! And lastly what of our greatest TSLer of them all. Joseph Batts sits quietly alone reading this knowing the greatest truth of them all, Joey Batts is facing his mortality as he enters the playoffs as the only man in history with a shot at back to back TSL MVP. Can he make history and achieve an impossible dream?

What happens next? Where do we go from here? What new star is ready to emerge? In 2 weeks when the dust settles (5) more teams will enter the hall of greatness and social co-ed football immortality as they will be able to call themselves TSL CHAMPIONS…….

DIVISION #1

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION+8: I really wish both of these squads were at 100% this rivalry could have ended in a great way this Saturday. These squads are both very good and both teams deserve to be in D1 and in the title chase. TEIM is loaded with skill all over the field. HATBF have made a seamless transition to the D1 game. All things being equal I think TEIM would have brought it this week but playing without both Kyle and Tiger will be too much to ask. HATBF have speed and they have a skyscraper that will run wild on the TEIM secondary this week. HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH BY 10

MARKETING MAYORS VS RACKS AND SACKS+8: I find myself watching RAS play and walking away thinking that they know what they are doing wrong but for some reason they will not fix their problems. You can say ABC aren’t working but until you fix them what are you doing? MM are a solid franchise that check all the boxes. They have one of the best players in league history, they have a solid QB, they have a savvy vet in Kevin Zak an offensive genius in Corey Turner and a solid female stable. RAS has some size and they have some speed but I have just not seen enough from them to call an upset of any kind MM should roll easily in this one.  MARKETING MAYORS BY 7

#XTC+13 VS EYES DOWNTOWN:  ED is a tough team to beat to do so you must play safe, smart mistake free football and hope and pray they make a mistake before you do. #XTC does not have the club in the bag to do this for a full 50 minutes against this team. XTC has some size and they have some speed and they have good girls but I just don’t see them going toe to toe and punch for punch with a team of this magnitude. You can not and will not beat ED by zoning them. XTC learned this lesson is last season’s playoff let’s see if they learned from their mistake or are they destined to make the same mistake again? For XTC to even have a chance they must listen to Tommy Hughes as he is the only one that can think them through this. No matter what I just think ED is just too good for XTC. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 11

DIVISION #3

STICKY BANDITS +7 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: Bad weather check. Team that has been upset in the playoffs before check. With a cardboard cutout nation behind them Sticky Bandits will take the field of battle this Saturday trying to make history. Across the field from them awaits their bitter rival Topper. He is Sticky Bandit kryptonite as for some peculiar reason the Topper never loses to the Sticky Nation. The time for talk is over. Team Topper has been a D3 mainstay for some time. They have a solid team top to bottom and might not get a better look at the title than in this playoff. If they once again fail to achieve their goal it might be time to consider breaking up and splitting into 4 parts North, South, East and West. These teams match up quite well. I think the key to this game will be at the female position and with the return of Kelly Liddle I think Team Topper’s time could finally be now. It’s time for each and every member of Team Topper to just look into the mirror and ask themselves this question, “Am I good enough to call myself a champion.” We will get our answer within 2 weeks…..or less. TEAM TOPPER BY 3

GRYFFINDOR VS SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE +7: Well well well. It is almost time to see if signing Jeremy Burr was worth it. Will Burr throw the Gryff on his back and take them to the promise land? Great players come to play in the greatest of games. This QB thing has me confused. I mean Joey Batts is a league icon and I so want him to win back to back MVP but is the Gryff better or worse with Tony at QB this week? I know they are worse as Joey will take them to the promise land. I’m sorry for even insulting anyone’s intelligence by even asking that question it was dumb, my bad.  You know it, I know it and the world knows it. As for the game, SITE has taken the next step but to be honest all friggin 10 of them could try and cover Burr and he still would get wide open. SITE’s day is coming but that day is not Saturday.  GRYFFINDOR BY 4 IF TONY PLAYS QB GRYFFINDOR BY 24 IF JOEY BATTS PLAYS QB

DMX+1 VS BULLET CLUB: This one should be good. Yes DMX beat up on Bullet Club but its playoffs so don’t worry we will see Travis and Zach oh wait no we won’t. The Club will have to circle the wagons and do it the old fashioned way this go round. DMX is good but they got SmOaKeD by Tony and the Gryff last week. For BC to win they need to tighten their zone up as they are the only ones that don’t know that their safeties play waaaaay too deep. Jeff Easton is the wild card in this game. He has the potential to be so very good. His potential is limitless but he doesn’t know that yet. In time, he will take this league over and toy with teams like DMX. For some reason that day has not come yet, but it will. This game should be good between 2 teams that are both solid and looking to find a way to get to round #2.   BULLET CLUB BY 3

A&A VS MORNING WOOD +6: I do not know what to think right now. Morning Wood has the potential to be really good but I have not seen it. They have a great QB, one of the best WRs in the game let alone the league (obviously I mean Mo and not Dave, April fools I totally meant Dave) and I am hearing rumors Rachel Parker is coming back for payoffs. A&A is vet savvy and battel tested. They have won titles and they will flat out bring it this week. If you want to see one of the best games of the day look no further than this one. I expect 80 points and a good old fashioned slug fest. A&A BY 7

DIVISION #4

3^RD AND SCHLONG VS CINTAS +10:  3AS are the people’s champions. They have everything you want in a team. Heck they even have their own hats now. 3AS has been white hot down the stretch as they look tough to beat. Cintas are made for the mud and have the greatest TSLer of them all but I just don’t see them taking this game. Cintas will struggle to cover Katie Keller and I just don’t see them winning a slugfest with 3AS. 3AS better start thinking right now about a plan B as each and every team they face will be looking to shut down Katie Keller which means they might want to start thinking about a backup plan. 3^RD AND SCHLONG BY 4

HK7 VS STEVE’S CUZ’INS +10: Cousin Steve has had an up and down season to date. The good news is his offense finished well. The bad news is HK7 is up next. HK7 is loaded for a title run. They are an offensive juggernaut. If this game turns into a track meet there is no way the Cousins keep up with HK7. HK7 is very balanced and have few holes. I like their QB as he plays a very smart very methodical game. HK7 has won their last 3 and at least to me seem to be the only team that can go toe to toe with Puckett All Stars. HK7 will not have an easy road to Puckett but at least this week I do not see much of a fight heading their way.  HK7 BY 8

BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS: They tried to settle this thing last week but the football Gods were having none of it so they made them play again. These squads went toe to toe for 50 minutes yet when the dust settled the score was 30-30 and we did not get a winner. Don’t worry boys and girls no matter what, someone will win this game Saturday. BSS is hot and they are doing well especially on offense. UW are still your reigning and defending D4 champs but they have been quite inconsistent. If they play like last session’s D4 playoffs they could win again. But if they play that bombs away sh*t show game they played when they lost like 3 in a row they will be exiting early. BSS never really does any damage when the chips are down but for some weird reason that I can’t explain I just think they are due so I am taking them this go round. BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 4

INDECENT EXPOSURE +8 VS PUCKETT ALL STARS: It seemed like just yesterday that IE was the team holding the trophy but since then they have regressed. They just seem to be one player away from truly doing some damage. They are balanced and have smart savvy players that have all played in the big games. PAS are rolling these days with their bombs away offense. Yes they are fast and yes they can go but the weather is crappy and that favors the balanced squad. I am not calling the upset by any means but IE matches up quite well with PAS. One break early or a bad throw or bounce could mean a game that is way closer than one would think.  PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 8

DIVISION #5

HOPE N RUIN+6 VS CUNNING STUNTS: 39-36 that’s the only score that should matter. That score should be in the back of the head of each and every Cunning Stunt player. That score should also remind you that if you don’t bring 110% every play, every minute, nay every second of every game by days end you will lose and you will need to spend the entire off season wondering how it all went wrong. The world wants nay needs Matty’s Angles vs Cunning Stunts. For that to happen CS MUST win this game. They will not win this game if they let their guard down for even 1 second. Hope N Ruin this very second is the best team in D5. Believe that Jack as it is the truth until someone comes along and shows us otherwise. The girl power story is great and yes the world is cheering but Cunning Stunts must give the world something to cheer for. On November 10^th in the year of our Lord 2018 Cunning Stunts and Hope n Ruin go at it one last time. 39-36 don’t forget Cunning Stunts 39-36 it happened once it can happen again. Only you can stop it…..  or can you?  XXXXXXXXXXXXX by 1

MATTY’S ANGELS VS WITTER’S +7: Well the good news is Witter’s gave MA a game last time out. The bad news for them is Katie Salisbury did not play in that game but girl is ready to go and she will bring hell, fire and brimstone with her this week. Witter’s better get ready for war as MA looks like an offensive juggernaut. They aren’t even going to attack the #2 Witter’s girl they are coming for each and every Witter’s DB. I keep sitting here at my keyboard telling people that common sense would tell you a taller male WR in theory can catch a ball over a girl safety that is generally 6-8 inches shorter. For some reason each and every team in D5 refuses to listen to me. Maybe someday someone will listen..maybe…. someday. MATTY’S ANGELS BY 8

ACE +3 VS HUNG BUFFALO: ACE has done the impossible and backed into the #5 seed of the D5 playoffs. Fun fact ACE beat HB earlier in the year. ACE has skill and they have won some big games in this league but can they do the impossible and make some noise in the D5 playoffs? Well as long as they are not facing a gender team that might be possible. HB is one of the few teams in D5 that just show up and play a solid mistake free football game. They aren’t pretty but they just go out and make plays. I expect a close game here between 2 teams that are very chippy but match up quite well.   HUNG BUFFALO BY 6

ALL WE DO IS QUINN VS UFO +13: The good news for UFO is they are in the D5 dance.  They also won 2 of their last 3 games and this is a good thing. They have played some solid football and have improved greatly from last season. Now for the bad news. AWDIQ is 7-1 and have looked like a terror all season. They also beat UFO 37-0 a few weeks ago. All things being equal I just don’t see UFO going punch for punch with this team. AWDIQ is faster and younger and that should translate into a big victory. UFO will not win this game but look to have taken the next step hopefully they continue on in their development and slowly work their way up the D5 ladder next session.  ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 8

DIVISION #6

TIGHT END ZONES +8 VS THE MCKENZIE AGENCY: As I started to write this I said “OK TEZ can’t score and lead with that” then I saw something. TEZ has scored 191 points while TMA has scored 181 points. TEZ probably doesn’t win this game. TMA is battle tested and they have solid leadership. They probably won’t need their offense this week but if they do not start scoring some points they will exit quickly in round #2. TMA has a decent defense and they should be able to suffocate an average offense at best from TEZ. I keep seeing crappy weather and mud and muck and keep thinking it’s time to start throwing Ron Webber some footballs. THE MCKENZIE AGENCY BY 10

THE BIPOLAR EXPPRESS+14 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: It was so nice that BPE finally had a chance to feel the joy of winning a football game. Their super bowl was last week as they shocked TEZ and the world in a big 37-35 victory. It appears to me that Dorothy is not in Kansas anymore. CSR are coming to the fields for two reasons and two reasons only. They want Peachy Platoon and the D6 title. Anything less than them taking home the title is not acceptable. CSR has size, speed and they can take their game to great levels. There is no doubt in my mind that in time BPE will rival Matty’s Angels and Cunning Stunts. Their day is coming but that day is not today or Saturday.  Before you make an omelette you must first crack a few eggs.  CELINO SEWER RATS BY 13

PRACTICE SQUAD +7 VS PEACHY PLATOON:  I was expecting this game but not in round #1. TPS is a solid football team that can win the title. If they don’t show up they will get crushed Saturday and their season will be over. PP has looked awesome to date. They are wicked fast and have made a lot of noise this season. They have everything clicking right now. TPS has a great team too though they don’t have the speed PP has. Once again for TPS to have any chance at all they must get each and every one of their players to the fields. If they are missing folks again it will be a long day at the office. But if all their players show expect an instant classic. PEACHY PLATOON BY 4

PASSLESS CHAPS VS JABRONIES: This one should be interesting between 2 teams that finally made the playoffs. PC had a scary season #1 in TSL while Jabronies lost on the last play in last sessions regular season and missed the playoffs. This game could be good. Neither team has vet savvy both are young and neither is favored over the other. Both teams need to improve on a lot of things but they are in the playoffs and that’s all that matters right now.  In games like this I play the “legends card”. The Chaps have really really really really really really tall guy but he doesn’t show up all the time. Jabronies have Caleb and Caleb is a legend so for this reason I am taking Jabronies on the last play. JABRONIES BY 1

5 Questions for Saturday

1. If anyone in the TSL universe can update me on the status of Bocc’s Audi it would be greatly appreciated. I still can NOT believe Travis threw his speaker in Bocc’s Audi without bubble wrap or any protection of any kind. I’m sorry this is (5) questions so here is my question….WHY TRAVIS? WHY?

2. When the dust settles and we look back on this season and this playoff will the memory we remember most be made by a man or will that play be made by a woman? Time will tell…

3. Why isn’t anyone talking about Marketing Mayors right now? I know PE/ED stole the headlines last week with Thug Gate but D1 better not sleep on this team. They still have one of the best players in the history of the game on their side. I for one can not wait to see what this team does when Delecki makes his triumphant return. It still is a testament to how good they are that even without Delecki they are still in the title hunt.  There is no doubt in my mind that the Mayors can take home this sessions title.

4. Will Gordon hold and not implode one more time? So far Gordon is 7 for 7. He has made good on his promise to make “football fun again.” He now enters the main stage as BPE takes on CSR this time for real. How will Gordon fare if a call does not go his way early? Will he implode or will he settle things down and be the architect of the greatest upset in TSL history? As I think about BPE vs CSR I can’t help but think of the 1980 USA Hockey Gold Medal Team. What must they have been thinking in round #1 of that playoff. The fear and pressure must have been un-bearable.

5.  What must Brian Ferger be thinking right now? TMA has a great look at the title this session as Ferger and Co are coming to town with their best team ever. Yes PP and CSR are loaded but TMA is as well. Will Ferger be able to channel some inspiration and lead an offense that needs him to the promise land? I will let you in on a secret TMA can win the D6 title but it all begins and ends on offense which means it all begins and ends at QB. Godspeed McKenzie Agency. #releasetheWebber

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on is in D4 where BSS and Ultimate Warriors get to finally settle the score. Last time out they played to a 30-30 draw. This time there will be no tie, there will be a winner one way or another. We will play all night if we have to until we get a winner. Both squads are solid on both sides of the ball so I expect a solid game here. Let us not forget even though the name has changed UW are still your reigning and defending D4 champions.

2. There is a man among us who will be taking all week to determine the solution to the moral dilemma put in front of him. That man’s name is Joey Batts and he easily is our greatest player. Will he let his younger brother Tony play QB this week for Gryffindor? Last week Tony just threw it all over as Gryffindor cruised. What if Tony plays and he wins big and then he not Joey leads Gryff to the promise land? Will Joey win back to back MVP as it never has and possible never will be done ever again.? What if Joey lets Tony play and Tony falls flat on his face? There are too many questions and not enough answers right now. I can’t wait to see who is throwing for the Gryff this Saturday. What a dilemma indeed……

3.  If I was a member of Team Topper I would quietly, to myself, be wondering what I have to do to get a break. They have been a very solid football team for a bunch of seasons now but for some reason they keep losing in the playoffs. They have everything you could ask for. They have good guys, they have solid girls, they have tremendous leadership, they have been a part of the some of the biggest games in history. Yet they keep falling short. Will this be their time? Will they finally answer the bell and will themselves to social co ed football immortality? For those of you wondering it is supposed to be 36 degrees with a 40% chance of precipitation. I am not one to quietly suggest things or play head games or even subconsciously suggest there is a problem but to me that report would be considered “bad weather.”

4. Speaking of pressure let’s talk about Bullet Club too. This time last year The Club with a “very questionable roster” entered the field of battle and took home the D3 title. Now they sit in the #5 hole of the D3 playoffs. To make matters worse they must now face DMX a team that beat them 54-36 in week #6. With 3^rd and Schlong calling them out and not getting answers and DMX a team that beat them up pretty good heading their way Bullet Club has to be feeling the pressure.  

5. I know the world wants Matty’s Angels vs Cunning Stunts as it would be one of the greatest playoff games in history but how funny would it be if Hope n Ruin just crashed the party and pulled the upset again? Let us not forget no one and I mean NO ONE gave them a chance in hell last playoff and they took home the D5 title. They absolutely could find lighting in a bottle one more time. With Joey Batts already facing a moral dilemma with his Gryffindor team this week could his heart not be in this game?

6.  I am sure there was a time the players in blue and yellow might have thought their season was over. Then about 3 weeks ago something magical happened Cardboard Cutout Dave Baker and the Dave Baker nation appeared. Since that moment Sticky Bandits are 1-1-1 and they could not be in a better place right now as they face a Team Topper that does not have much playoff luck. This time last playoff Drew was MIA there is no doubt in my mind that Drew will come to town with a chip on his shoulder as he knows better than anyone that he must deliver. BTW Ricky Recckio used to be really good when is he going to take a game over and shock the world?

7. I keep looking at that Practice Squad/Peachy Platoon game and keep thinking that a close game is brewing. PP has looked awesome but TPS has not been anywhere close to 100% most of the season. Well if they were waiting for playoffs to shock the world the time is now. PP is so fast and so very talented this test will be a tough one. The winner of this game could be your D6 title winner.   

8.  We will know by Friday but it is looking like the banquet will be January 11^th at the Adams Mark Hotel. If there is one time you won’t want to miss it is always this night as this is the Super Bowl of the TSL season. There is no better time in this league than this night. Expect the unexpected.

9.  One of 2 things is going to happen Saturday either Eyes Downtown is going to beat #XTC by 40 or the Eyes Downtown QB is going to be on tilt and narrowly walk away with a late victory. Tommy Hughes is an evil genius and good at head games don’t think for one minute he won’t try to exploit the ED QB who is on tilt these days to help his team achieve victory.

10. Ladies and Gentlemen as we all prepare to take the field of battle this week let me be the first to remind each and every one of you that you are adults and as Chris Cole put it “We are playing co-ed tag football behind a bar.” This is not the super bowl and no matter if you win or lose this week or next the sun will come up tomorrow. I wish everyone the best of luck. We will make sure each and every official makes sure they give their very best to do the best job they can. Shockingly and please let me apologize but we do not have instant replay or that technology quite yet. Calls will be missed and sometimes things will not go your way. Try your best, give your best and be your best.

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