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Right about now I usually tell you that the chase toward social co-ed football immortality is about to begin. I tell you that in the next 2-3 weeks you will have to dig deep to see if you have what it takes to call yourself a champion. Though it is entirely possible you could be spending the entire winter looking out a window wondering to yourself what you could have done better to help your team win a championship.  These are the days that matter as 5, 10, 15 years from now this league, these times and everything that is going on around us will be done. All you will have left is your memories. Yes other things and other activities and other people will come and go in your lives but this league and this way of life will someday be a distant memory.  I say that not to scare you but to remind you that life is precious and it is short so it is imperative that you make the most of the time that you have as you never know when that time is up.

Carpe diem folks carpe diem………..

Where do we go from here? What happens next? Let’s find out shall we……..

DIVISION #1

ANGRY BUFFALO +7 VS TIGHT ENDS IN MOTION: I am curious to see who suits up for TEIM. Losing both Kyle and Tiger will take its toll on this squad as they lost big time speed they will need to replace. Easier said than done. AB is a hot mess as their girls are struggling, their QB is done and they are playing the back-up but their guys can still flat out go. The question of the day is, can the TEIM girls carry the day as they will be needed big time? I think they might be able to. A few weeks ago, Ben Stack told an associate of mine that TEIM “is more than just Tiger.” With 2 of their best players out and things looking bleak let’s see if Stack comes to play this week as they will need someone to lean on.     TEIM BY 1

RACKS AND SACKS +10 VS EYES DOWNTOWN: RAS was finally on the right side of the fence last week in a big win. Things won’t stay happy long as the big bad wolf is heading their way. ED is dialed in these days as they begin tightening their game up for the playoff chase. ED has RAS pretty much out manned and out gunned at every single position in this game. ED should take this one rather easily if you ask me. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 13

HOOTIE AND THE BROFISH VS MARKETING MAYORS +3:  This is the game that intrigues me. MM are not really playing that well as they sit as 3-3. Yes, I know they are missing Delecki and yes they have had some bumps and bruises but I think their issues right now go a tad deeper than that. Last week I saw a QB just missing easy throws. I always say this, and it falls on deaf ears, but the easy throw isn’t pretty but it gets you yards and offenses need to gain yards. Now that the weather is turning and the fields will turn to slop soon I am curious to see what this does to the run and gun offense of HATBF. This game is for the #3 seed essentially and that matters in D1. I am curious to see if MM takes this and its business a usual or are HATBF arriving a season or two sooner than anticipated.   MARKETING MAYORS BY 3

#XTC +7 VS PUBLIC ENEMY: These two teams know each other quite well. #XTC is up and down at 2-4. PE has been dialed in and has been white hot at 5-0. The PE offense has looked better than ever this session. In most cases PE should run away with this one as they just seem to be dialed in these days but the question remains could PE be looking ahead to Eyes Downtown the week after? PE usually has 1 clunker a session. This one could be closer than you would think. XTC knows where to attack but to attack they must get better play from their QB. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 6

DIVISION #3

COBBLESTONE  +10 VS GRYFFINDOR: It usually is billed as the “battle of the immortals” between TSL’s (2) greatest stars. I am hearing rumors Joey Batts is so sure he’s going to win that he might just make Tony play QB so he can QB his girls team playing at the same time. Cobblestone used to be a once mighty franchise led by the greatest leader and QB of modern times. They are struggling and that sucks for ratings. I reckon we will see Tony and “Glasses” will finally get a chance to get some time out there to make a case for himself for next season. The Gryff still has Burr so he should feast on the very very very giving secondary of Cobblestone. GRYFFINDOR BY 10

SLYTHERIN THAT END ZONE VS BULLET CLUB +1: The Club has lost their last 2 as the defense has looked awful. It also looks like Joe K has aged like 5 years just in the last 3 weeks.  Don’t look now but SITE is 2-2-1 and can jump the Club in the rankings with a big win. Their offense has looked dialed in and they are playing just enough defense to carry most days. BC better be careful because if they lose this game they could begin to tumble way down the rankings. Both these teams are at a crossroad this week. The winner will get back up into the race while the loser probably hits “also ran” territory and struggles the rest of the way. BULLET CLUB BY 3

UNCLE RICOS TIME TRAVELERS +10 VS STICKY BANDITS +4: This is the battle for the last and final playoff spot in D3. The winner gets a ticket to the D3 dance while the loser will be on the outside looking in come playoff time. URTT has been up and down but appear to be making progress. They still appear to be a D4 caliber team. SB are D3 material but they are missing their inspirational leader. I am hearing rumors ”cardboard cut out” Dave Baker will be in attendance this week. Will he arrive in time and if he does can he save the Sticky season? In time we will find out together.  STICKY BANDITS BY 7

DMX +6 VS 1 TOPPER TOO MANY: DMX is 4-2 and Team Topper is dialed in at 6-0 but let’s talk about a few things. 1. DMX is really good and they are getting hot at the right time. 2. Yes Team Topper is hot but they have been beating up on meh teams the past 2 weeks. 3. DMX and Team Topper used to go at it and DMX was the team that usually got the duke. 4. Team Topper was off last week and rust matters in this league.  Team Topper probably isn’t going undefeated and they are coming off a bye so if ever there was a week for an upset this could be it. Also remember Topper is under the weather and adverse weather conditions could have huge implications with Toppers “unique arm strength and throwing mechanics.”  DMX  BY 1

A&A VS MORNING WOOD +4: This one could be special but do we really know if the Morning Wood QB is ever coming back? If he doesn’t then Dave goes to QB, Mo goes to possession WR, JJ gets to run 1 route over and over again and everyone gets sad. As I wrote that, I wondered to myself how many times Mo MF’D me when he read that he was called a “possession WR” again. A&A has some speed and they have girls that can go so MW better be ready. The MW girls are good but they lack the speed of the A&A girls. Now this all could be a moot point if the weather is crappy and the track is sloppy. I still think in any scenario A&A should be a TD better. A&A BY 7

DIVISION #4

HK7 VS INDECENT EXPOSURE +4: HK7 might have been reading these articles too much and falling in love with themselves as they laid an egg last week. Yes I know they lost 41-32 but it was all on the offense! Yes I have no clue what that means either. But when a cute blonde girl just shows up one day on a podcast and tells the world the 41-32 loss was all on the offense it’s all on the offense. IE is 2-3 and needs this game as they are starting to slip a bit. Their offense just needs to produce more. HK7 should in theory take this game but anything can happen on any given Saturday. I am hearing rumors one of their ladies might be heading to Cunning Stunts at 10 am instead of HK7 which could cause an issue as it will take away their girl edge. HK7 should still have a few more weapons in this one and should still carry the day.    HK7 BY 3

PUCKETT ALL STARS VS TUNE SQUAD +17: Sometimes in life you see a game on the schedule and go “ruh roh this won’t be good.” TS is getting better and better week after week but things could get ugly early and often in this one. PAS should not be in D4 as they are really good I fear they will absolutely run away with this one.  PAS is loaded on offense, defense and has a QB that can sling. Tune Squad could be in for trouble as they are still struggling trying to get up to speed with the TSL game. In time I think Tune Squad will be just fine in this league but this will be the week they will soon want to forget as the team heading their way could be the class of D4 right now. Let’s hope I am wrong. PUCKETT ALL STARS BY 17

CINTAS  VS ULTIMATE WARRIORS +3: There isn’t a colder team league wide right now than the Ultimate Warriors. They have looked woeful in 2 really bad beats at the hands of HK7 and 3AS. Cintas are lead by the legend and the legend killer Joey Batts. Cintas are 3-1 and have looked very good so far this session. They really need to get moving though as they need to get 9 games in. UW has to stop with the long ball guff and just go out there and get some yards. The easy throw is usually the best throw. UW are good and they have won they just seem to have lost their way. UW can circle the wagons and get back on track but this will be on tough test. This week will be all about execution.    CINTAS BY 4

NO PUNT INTENDED +8 VS 3^RD AND SCHLONG: This is one of the greatest rivalries going in the game today but the injury to Kyle will most definitely take some luster of this gem. NPI got a big win last week but one must think without their leader NPI will be in trouble down the stretch. 3AS looks to be gaining steam as they are playing better and better week after week. I still wonder though if the off the field soap operas will catch up with them eventually. Katie Keller is still tied to 40YPG and that anonymous D1 guy. 40 YPG is tied to Molly Morgan and Katie Keller and now he’s fighting with Joe K. NPI is the only team that really shut down the Queen Bee can they do it again? Without Kyle I just don’t see NPI taking this game.  3^RD AND SCHLONG BY 7

BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS VS STEVES CUZ’INS +9: Don’t look now but the BSS is 4-2 and it appears their offense is light years ahead of sessions past. BSS is killing it at a clip of like 34 a game and they are playing just enough defense to carry most days. Cousin Steve had a magical week #1 but has fell flat on his face since. This team is struggling to score. The defense has been holding and that’s a good thing but they have to score more points. BSS needs this game as a 5-2 record will put D4 on notice that they are finally for real. Good teams always win the games they are supposed to, so is Buffalo Solar Solutions a good team? BUFFALO SOLAR SOLUTIONS BY 8

DIVISION #5

HOPE N RUIN +7 VS CUNNING STUNTS: The Cunning Stunts are quickly becoming Americas Team. They already have this league’s most beloved superstar but now they are quickly becoming the people’s champion. The Clarke’s are killing it, Katie Keller is the new Queen Bee, they have “Emily 2.0” to already go along with one of the leagues most well liked players in Kelly Liddle. If you add this cast and these characters to your reigning and DEFENDING TSL MVP of everything you have something special brewing. HNR is fighting for their playoff lives as they sit at 1-4. They MUST I repeat MUST win this game but the team they are facing is wicked hot right now. This game should be a barn burner.   CUNNING STUNTS BY 4

HUNG BUFFALO VS ACE +7: This one could get a tad chippy between 2 teams that aren’t afraid to mix it up. ACE has been struggling and I just don’t know what the fix is. Is Ronny K not making the throws? Are the WRS not running the right routes and giving supreme effort? Is the defense lost out there? Too many questions and not enough answers if you ask me. HB is that vet savvy team that just shows up and plays football. They are big and they are strong and they are not afraid of anyone. ACE does have a speed edge but can they get the ball to their speedsters so they can run run run? This is another game that should be good between 2 teams that also match up quite well.  HUNG BUFFALO BY 6

HUNG BUFFALO VS VANDALAY INDUSTRIES +7: I was beginning to forget that VI plays in this league. They are 2-2 but where have they been? HB is looking good these days as they are currently in 4^th place. Their offense is decent and they are still playing stout defense. If you like speed this is not the game for you. Both teams are built for the sloppy track and aren’t exactly speed burners. If you do like two good football teams going at it in an old fashioned, old school football game this is the game for you. I see a close one here as these 2 squads matchup quite well with each other.  HUNG BUFFALO BY 6

UFO +10 VS ALL WE DO IS QUINN: AWDIQ is rolling right now as they sit at 5-1 while UFO is free falling at 1-4. I am beginning to wonder if UFO is “starting to lose the room.” UFO literally needs to throw everyone in a cargo van and go to Dave and Busters or Chucky Cheese for team building activities. Right now UFO is starting to get a bad rep and they need to change that. As for the game, AWDIQ is wicked fast and should dink, dunk and run UFO off the field in this one.  I have faith that the UFO leadership will right the ship in time and this season will be a small blip on the radar as this team heads into the future. ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 11

MATTY’S ANGELS VS COME FROM BEHIND +3: CFB is an up and down bunch these days as they are sitting at 3-3. The Angels are off to a nice start at 5-1 but they could be coming to town hopping mad after last week’s debacle with AWDIQ. Did the ref miss the call? Did the Angels have an argument? It matters not now so let’s focus on today. CFB is a vet savvy team that has been in all the big games. MA have a crazy good offense but CFB has a few big tall WR’s that can jump into the sky on their shorter counter parts. It’s getting cold will Paul be at the helm for CFB as that is the most important question in this game. All things being equal the Angels are pretty quick and should carry late. MATTYS ANGELS BY 6

VANDALY INDUSTRIES VS WITTERS +3: Witter’s has been an up and down bunch as they have shown flashes of brilliance but they have also shown flashes of meh. VI is not a speed burner squad but they do a lot of things right. They don’t kill you with speed but they play a solid consistent style that translates to more victories than defeats.  Witter’s is a smart team that has a smart leader. Their mis steps are usually due to not being up to speed quite yet. I see Witter’s giving VI a game. VI isn’t sexy but they just show up and play. Honestly I have no clue which VI team will show as sometimes they are hot to trot and sometimes they are destined for failure. I see a sloppy track and VI is built for the mud so I’m taking VI. VANDALAY INDUSTRIES BY 6

DIVISION #6

TIGHT END ZONES +7 VS JABRONIES: Jabronies are 3-3 and have shown some good and some bad. Jabronies has a legend on their team named Caleb and Caleb is awesome and he is fast. TEZ is not as fast and will struggle to cover Caleb at all times. Caleb +speed +legend+ fluorescent traffic vests+ traffic wands and flares=MAGICAL. Yes the game will be played and the Jabronies will win but afterwards all hell will break loose as the parking lot will be lit on fire with flares and the parking insanity will begin. Lord help us all each and every one.  JABRONIES BY 3

THE MCKENZIE AGENCY +7 VS CELINO SEWER RATS: TMA is 4-2 and have taken the next step but are they the team to beat? We will find out this week. I am convinced Peachy Platoon and CSR deserve to be in the mix but where does TMA stand? Honestly, I am still not sure. I see talent, I see vet leadership, I see intelligence and I see skill all over the field. The question remains can the 4-2 TMA go heads up with the 5-1 CSR? This is one of the biggest questions heading into this weekend. If they can, look out but if not they could fall back to earth. This game has huge playoff implications for TMA as they must be asking the same question that I am.  CELINO SEWER RATS BY 7

BIPOLAR EXPRESS +1 VS TIGHT END ZONES: If ever there was a week for something supercailifragilisticexpalidocious to happen this could be the week. TEZ is 0-4 and the BPE is 0-5. That means one of these 2 teams will win. Obviously if they tie then I am 100% wrong. OK let’s face facts here BPE is ever improving and they have been in their games the past few weeks. If only the girls could run a little faster or catch a little better or not get Gordon so angry he has to go to the red shirt sometimes that 0-5 record could be 2-3 or 1-4. BPE is up against it. If they are going to win a game this is the week. If not now it might not happen. If the football Gods are kind and just they will give their good ole buddy Gordon something to be happy about. I hope the football Gods let BPE win on the last play that would be magical.  BIPOLAR EXPRESS ON THE LAST PLAY BY 1

5 Questions for Saturday

1. Can TEIM even field a team this week? Good Lord last week was a disaster as they lost 2 of their best players. Who is the next man or woman up? Is a new leader about to emerge? Will they stand tall and continue to win or will these injuries be too much to overcome? Alot more questions than answers for TEIM if you ask me this week.

2. Is Team Topper heading towards an upset this week? They are coming off a bye week. I am hearing the Topper is not feeling 100%. DMX has played them tough in the past and we are expecting a sloppy track this week. Yes Team Topper has come to play week after week but could this be the week they get shocked? Time will tell….

3. Can Bullet Club snap out of this funk they are in or were they actually never as good as we thought to begin with? Maybe Travis and Zach were the brains of the operation and BC has not been able to recover after their departures. I know they have been missing people but BC must do something to shore up a very suspect secondary especially at safety as they are giving up too many yards.

4. Is Joe K going to accept the challenge of 40 Year Plan Guy? I haven’t seen an upper division team “run away” from a lower division team this quickly since Ricky Austin was having none of Matty Ice and A&A a few seasons ago after A&A won their title. Joe K has to accept this challenge and begin damage control on repairing his street cred.

5.  Will “card board cut out Dave Bakers” arrive in time? This is the only question that matters right now. They told us Friday afternoon. Let us all hope and pray together they get delivered in time so they can debut this Saturday.

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on is in D6 as someone has to win between the BiPolar Express and Tight End Zones. At 10 am (2) teams with a combined 0-9 record will take the field of battle in hopes of finally tasting victory. The world will be cheering together as one hoping that Gordon finally gets the BPE to victory lane in this one. BPE has been getting better and better week after week they might be finally due.  

2. UFO is 1-4, Hope N Ruin is 1-4 and ACE is 1-5. Small problem there are (3) teams and only (1) precious playoff spot up for grabs. All 3 teams have tough games so this battle might not change much heading into week #8.

3.  Talking about highly contested playoff battles, look no further than the game between Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers and Sticky Bandits. URTT is 1-5 and the Sticky Nation is 1-3. Tie breakers matter in D3 so this game is HUGE. “Card Board Cut Out Dave Baker” could not get here quick enough as this team will need his leadership and general aura of awesomeness in this one. He better be delivered on time….

4. I have now gotten (2) reports that “Emily 2.0” (I.E. Emily of HK7) and Joey Batts are both prepared to forego their regularly scheduled games so they can both be in the Cunning Stunts lineup this week in a big 10 AM game with the reigning and defending D5 champs Hope N Ruin. The Stunts are about two weeks away from WW3 with their bitter rivals Matty’s Angels. I am still surprised and impressed that each player has chosen the “all girl team” over their normal “rostered” team. Now let’s see if they both hold true to their promises. Saying and doing are (2) entirely different things.

5. If I was wearing a Marketing Mayors jersey I would be feeling rather un-easy this week. They are sitting at 3-3 and their team hasn’t exactly been very sharp this session. A HUGE game with HATBF is up next. I am curious to see how the “sandlot” team does against the “text book” team. Both are completely different but both have had success in this league lets see which style wins out this week.

6. 3^rd and Schlong vs No Punt Intended honestly was starting to turn into a tremendous rivalry but the injury to Kyle Coniff will take some luster off this game. Rivals are rivals but one of the first people to contact me asking about Kyle and how he was doing with his injury was actually Scott Keller Jr of 3AS so this rivalry is a friendly one of respect and competition. BTW if anyone is wondering Kevin Keller is still on the trading block. NPI totally shut Katie Keller down last season lets see if they still have the magic formula as it appears no one else does. The only other person that can fluster Katie Keller is my bitter rival Lenny.

7. Ultimate Warriors have lost their last 2 games by a margin of 67-32 now a very solid 3-1 Cintas is up next. UW must stop the long ball junk and just go get 7-8 yard gains. The safe and easy throw is usually the best throw. Yards in crappy weather are tougher to come by so just go make easy throws. 32 points in the last 2 weeks will not win you another D4 title. A QB that has put a clinic on in this league of “taking what the defense gives you” is up next. This is a copycat league go copy Joey Batts.

8. The Topper Prize and Punishment Wheel will once again be at work hopefully around noon time or so as our friends from Jabronies will be helping us with parking vehicles for an hour or so. If you see road flares, kids in fluorescent traffic vests running around carrying traffic wands don’t be nervous or afraid everything is OK.

9. I am very curious to see how the McKenzie Agency does this week with Celino Sewer Rats. I thought Peachy Platoon was going to run away with D6. Then I thought CSR was in the hunt as well. Then I thought Practice Squad might join the race. Now I have questions on if TMA will turn this into a fatal four way for the title. TMA is a vet savvy team that continues to gel. If they want to know where they stand this is the week they will see if they are contenders or pretenders. I think TMA is ready to fight this week.  

10. I still am not sure who the contenders and pretenders are in D3. I see a very good team in Morning Wood I just don’t see a team that is consistently 100% at the fields. Will their QB show? Where is JJ? What about A&A? They haven’t had the attendance issues of seasons past but they still have weeks they are not at 100%. I so hope A&A vs Morning Wood brings both teams to the fields at 100%. I want to see a good old fashioned slug fest between 2 very good teams. I also want to know who I should be keeping my eyes on. D3 is the only division in this league that I still am not 100% sure who the top 4-5 teams are. I usually know who is who which means I know who the top 4-5 teams are but usually it is easy to slot them 1-5. Right now that’s literally impossible in D3. Hopefully things will be a tad more clear by the end of Saturday.

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