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“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them”

Andy Bernard

Things are starting to get good. WW3 is heading our way as we get ED/MM 2. Joey Batts has at it with his new mortal enemy Bro. Shari hopefully will make her triumphant return and like you I hope she B-LINES for Emily. 3AS has to have at it with Indecent Exposure. THE and AWDIQ are going heads up at 12:00. Poor Tight Ends in Motion will now scurry to get 5 games played in 2 weeks. Topper’s team is killing him, Joe K lost his QB, Public Enemy are 2-5, 40 Year Plan guy and Katie Keller are kidding themselves. Val Testa has threated to leave us in the fall. Hopefully Brother Nero and Ricky Austin have returned from the matrix.  Ladies and Gentlemen things are starting to get good. But with good there is also bad…..I of course am talking about pressure. You know it slowly starts to build . You start to not to breath as good. You get nervous. You can’t think as clearly. For 2 TSlers names JZ and Drew the pressure is “Franco” on. Right about now they probably are pasty white as they know their destinies and fate await them. One decided to play QB but now he has a team on the brink of playoff elimination. The other was fired and is trying to show the world that he was the evil genius not the folks that fired him. Ladies and gentlemen you can cut the tension with a knife. I feel bad for our 2 heroes Drew and JZ. Relax take a deep breath fellas it can’t be as bad as you think….or could it. No pressure this week guys…… no….p…r….e…s…s…u….r….e…..

Enter Week #8

D1 Game of the Week

Eyes Down Town vs Marketing Mayors +6: This is usually a great rivalry but let’s be honest it isn’t the same without Delecki. ED seems to be the team to beat in D1. They are cruising right now. Their QB is playing solid, their girls continue to produce and their guys are as good as it gets top to bottom. Turner and Co has the blue print to beat Eyes Down Town but do they have the horses? To beat Eyes Down Town you need to play solid mistake free football. I know I sound like a broken record but the plan is simple. Find Smith avoid Smith. If ED sticks to the plan they will carry by days end.   Eyes Downtown by 7

D2 Game of the Week

Hootie and the Bro Fish vs Gryffindor +4: The last time these 2 hooked up Joey Batts had them but had an epic melt down as his team once again let him down. For the record Joey Batts was easily the MVP of this game but befell bad last minute luck. HATBF seem to be running away with D2. The only thing standing in the way of their title is the Gryff. Small problem though, Scotty M is gone so realistically there is no way the Gryff can run with this team. There is a lot more on the line than you would think. Joey Batts yearns for back to back league MVP’s. To do the unthinkable he must beat HATBF not once but twice. Bro is killing it and his time could be now. One must still wonder if the tom foolery of last week will somehow someway mess up the rhythm of this power house. I expect a great game here but I just think the loss of Scotty M will be the Gryff’s downfall here.  Hootie and The Bro Fish by 6

D3 Game of the Decade

Slytherin that End Zone +13 vs Mixxx: You have to love the build-up and the story line but once the pop and circumstance fades we actually have to play the game and when that happens SITE probably gets smoked. JZ is an evil genius. He knows how SITE thinks, how they pass, how they run he will be ready for anything/everything they try to throw at him. I still think its funny SITE is playing mind games with JZ when they stole his super sub Katie Keller. If JZ has one weakness he can out think himself. JZ will have a ton of pressure on him this week. He is expected to win this game and win big. What happens if Mixxx throws a quick pic or if Mixxx craps out on their first drive? What then? What if the first half is over and its 8-6 SITE? Will JZ start to slowly crumble in that scorching June sun? Will he fold like a tent as he slowly realizes that an upset is afoot? Can JZ stop the upset or does fate have other plans? You know what, now that I think about it SITE has nothing to play for but one thing…their super bowl will be this Saturday they only care about 1 game and 1 game only. That means they have nothing to lose. Their season is on the line at 10am as the only thing that matters is winning. Can they pull the upset? Will they pull the upset? Wow maybe this game will be closer than one would think…. Mixxx by 10

D4 Game of the Week

3^rd and Schlong vs Indecent Exposure +3: I am beginning to think 3^rd and Schlong and No Punt Intended will be on a collision course with each other in week #11. I am sure Indecent Exposure will have something to say about that. IE is the definition of balance. They are a strong team. They have a decent QB, a solid female stable and they boast both size, speed and skill. They aren’t overly fast or overly big or overly anything but they are one solid football team. 3AS is good. It all begins and ends with their top female Katie Keller. Stop Katie stop 3AS. IE will need to be on their toes as we realized something last week in the HK4 game, Austin Weber-Keller can friggin go man. He has blazing speed that no one saw coming. Kevin Keller is playing solid defense and 40 Yr Plan Guy Keller is a solid football player. 3AS will not kill you with down the field speed but they are good, they are smart and they will play a very safe very methodical football game. These teams match up quite well as they both play the same style. To be honest with teams matched this closely, look no further than the QBS. The QB who has the bigger day will be the QB that wins this game. I expect a barn burner in this one.  3^rd and Schlong by 4

D5 Game of the Week

The Tommy Hughes Experience vs All We Do is Qwinn +1:  I just don’t know. There is something weird about a bunch of D1-D3 people in D5 that makes literally no friggin sense to me. THE is 6-1 (shocking) but AWDIQ is a very decent team. They are small and quick like lil midget rabbits. They are fast and they will be tough to cover. THE runs a very simple offense that is all based on rhythm and execution. In theory AWDIQ will run THE off the field but will AWDIQ be ready for what’s coming next? THE will dink and dunk up and down the field. I reckon AWDIQ will do what everyone does and play off and THE will beat them at 6-8 yards and wonder how THE keeps scoring.  I mean God forbid if someone in D5 dares Tommy Hughes to throw a ball farther than 15 yards in the air as I don’t think he’s tried that in 3 years. If AWDIQ plays smart and uses their speed they could and should win. If they play off and play stupid they will be dinked and dunked to death and will have a very very long day. All We Do is Qwinn by 3

D6 Game of the Week

Celino Sewer Rats vs The McKenzie Agency +4: Both squads are having ho hum years as they are in the middle of the race. TMA was crushing people until the brutal Dilly Dilly assault on their QB occurred. They have not been the same since. CSR needs this win as it could improve their playoff standing as we get closer to the dance. TMA is a solid team with good players. This could be the week TMA unleashes their burner on D6 for some big gains. Can CSR keep up with the female attack of TMA? I just wonder if Ferger is better after the un-provoked attack by Dilly Dilly weeks ago. Ferger is the key to this game.  Celino Sewer Rats by 3

RANDOM THOUGHTS

-Maybe it’s just me but for some weird reason things just seem to be settling down a tad now. I enjoyed this week’s podcast but I am so not believing that Katie Keller and 40 Year Plan Guy are not destined to marry.

-Shredder’s have been looking better the past few weeks and have a very winnable game this week on the schedule with Buffalo Solar Solutions.

- If you asked me to list the team in each division that are getting hot at the right time I would say D1: Eyes Downtown  D2: The Replacements   D3: Morning Wood D4: Full Throttle  D5: Tommy Hughes Experience D6: Dilly Dilly

-If you asked me what teams should be worried as playoffs are approaching I would say: D1: Public Enemy D2: The Purge D3: Bullet Club D4: 3^rd and Schlong D5: All we do is Qwinn D6: Tight End Zones

-I can’t help but think everyone is under rating Uncle Rico’s Time Travelers. 3AS and NPI are getting all the pub but URTT can score and score a lot.

-If any TSLer in this league sees Val Testa at the fields this weekend I want you to walk up to that young lady and look her squarely in the eye then tell her “Don’t Go.” Don’t worry Val I talked to an associate who talked to Coach Jay help is on the way….

-Is Shari ever coming back to football so her and Emily can continue the most bitter feud in TSL history? Like you I too await this battle for female superiority. This fight is going to be good.

-This Saturday the TSL will be hiring additional security to protect all trees, grass, flowers and potted plants. Ladies and gentlemen if you see a big bully throwing plants or stomping grass or kicking tress please stop, yell “stranger danger 3x” and we will do our best to get you the help you need ASAP. Whistles will be handed out should they be required. As we continue to say do not walk the fields by yourself please make sure wherever you go you to take your league appointed safety buddy with you at all times.

-I know the Club is reeling but I really enjoy the battles between Joey Batts and Joseph K. Cintas vs Bullet Club should be a good one.

-Vandalay started out so well but they have started to fade down the stretch. Cunning Stunts MUST win this game at 12:00. No pressure Drew…no….pressure .

-Dark Knights could be reeling as one of their best players went down last week and this week they get The Thug Nation known as Dilly Dilly. DK must go at least 1-1 in their last 2 or they could be in trouble.

-Witter’s will be feeling the same pressure as Drew (though to be clear Drew is under 1000x more pressure than any TSLer league wide right now except JZ) and they have a huge test with Come From Behind this week. So who will be playing QB for CFB Paul or The Prophet the Most Honorable Dave Walter?

-I think this is the week one Bernal must reign supreme over the others as the world will be watching.

-Just we all are clear on sub procedures moving forward:

Please go to the rule book pages 2/3 Rules 5-7. There it will tell you what girls are allowed to sub in each division. If you need a sub you must email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. before Friday at 10AM for that week’s game ONLY. You may choose anyone you wish before Friday at 10am as long as you follow the rules on divisions. Please note one girl is not allowed to sub anymore and (3) D2 girls may not sub in D1 but if you have questions on specifics email us and we will tell you who they are.  For example if you are a team in D2 you may only choose a girl in D2-D6 to be your sub. If you are a team in D3 you may only use a sub that is a girl on a D3-D6 team. If you are a team in D6 you may only choose a girl sub from division D3-D6. Once you send us an email will respond promptly in writing that your request has been accepted. If someone beats you to the sub it will be rejected and you will have to re-submit. If Friday at 10am passes you may only choose a girl on our USL only. USL subs do not have to be formally requested via email. We ask as a courtesy you tell us but you don’t have to. You must also submit in writing all guy subs and B Club subs. To be clear do not email, call or text Topper if you do this we will reject your request. You must email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. only. If you use the “Topper told me it’s OK” excuse we will still suspend you so please don’t waste our time and please follow the rules as they are written.

5 Questions for Saturday

1. Will Cobblestone win a game this session? A very tired Sticky Bandits will be coming to town at 2:00. If ever there was a chance at an upset I guess this would be it. SB have been up and down. I so hope Darryl Carr QB Superstar makes his triumphant return and puts on a show for the ages. I am hearing rumors super sub Sam is back and this could help.

2.  What can we expect from the N W O vs The Purge game? If this was pre-season many would say this could have been the D2 title game. Right now both teams are reeling. N W O got beat by 5 people last week and The Purge has not been good. Brother Nero has not been the same since Brother Bowl.

3.  What will Tight End Zones do for an encore? Last week they lit the lamp with 78 points. Next up are Jabronies. Can a team score 100 in a week?  Will Jabronies be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

4. So who wins Hometech or Collegiate Builders? One struggles to score and one struggles to stop people. This one actually should be good.

5. Is this the beginning of the end for the Bambs? Say it ain’t so but I have seen this too many times before. I think we should get B’s Brother to MC a “peace intervention” for the Bambs and let’s get them all back together. Watching them get crushed like this is breaking my heart. This better not be it for this squad. Bambs it is not quite time to go softly into that good night….

10 Final Thoughts for Saturday

1. The game I have my eye on this week in D3 where it will be soooooooo on. Will the game be good? Probably not but who cares. It’s time to get it on Hatfield’s vs McCoy’s style this week at 10am.  SITE will go to war with former skipper JZ. To make matters worse SITE stole Mixxx’s sub girl when they beat the Mixxx to Katie Keller. I so hope the league does the right thing and puts this game on Field #1.

2. Tight Ends in Motion have a lot to work to do in the next few weeks as they must get (5) games in before the regular season closes. It appears they have (3) scheduled this week. If you factor in girl games, and breakfast club etc etc there are going to be some very tired TEIM faces by about 3:00. One must wonder if TEIM is walking into a trap at 3:00 with #XTC.

3.  35-1 Morning Wood has been getting hot the past few weeks as they face off against a very up and down A&A. A&A has befell bad ref luck the past few weeks but continues to move forward. A&A is a very solid team that has it all. They have size, speed and know how. They have played in the big games. They know better than anyone play time is over and they have 2 more weeks to work out the kinks as the playoffs quickly approach, MW could prove to be a tougher test than one would think. I expect a close game here.

4. Full Throttle is on fire as they keep wining as they continue to get better week after week. A vert beatable AXA is up next. FT could continue their winning ways by days end again in this one.

5. Racks and Sacks continue to have New God’s number and draw them once again this week at 11:00. RAS is 3-0 vs The New Gods. I wonder if Ricky Austin has returned from the matrix yet. I keep hearing rumors Pete will once again be MIA. This one should be good as we all will continue to wonder if New Gods can finally break through vs this team.

6. 4-3 Puckett All Star fresh off last week’s Mixxx upset have at it with Uncle Topper and his 5-2 Co this week. I expect a very good game here. Team Topper must figure out a way to play better defense. PAS are a very solid very methodical team with a very good QB. Team Topper better be ready in this one. This game will be huge for playoff rankings as we head down the stretch.

7. All eyes will be on Witter’s and Cunning Stunts down the stretch as they will be fighting tooth and nail for the final ticket to the D5 dance. CS has at it with Vandalay while Witter’s goes to war with Come From Behind. I so hope this race goes right down to the wire in week #9.

8.  It appears we will not be participating in the 4:00 game this session. Hopefully we can re-visit the game in the fall.

9. I am sorry to report but apparently dogs are no longer welcome at the fields these days. All it takes is one situation and that’s a wrap.

10. If I had to pick breakfast club games I would say…Angry Tailors 34 Poppin Mollies 21. Chef Curry with the Shots 36 Taminators 27, Val Pal’s 31 Peanut Butter Kelly Time 28.

#DON’TBLOWIT

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