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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, the Spring 2024 season is sadly on the downswing of the season. The Greatest Social Co-Ed Football Experience in the universe is on the back end of our schedule as we begin to ride into Week 6. The calendar is turning to June, and the games are about to get even better as teams continue to round into form. The Race For Social Co-Ed Football Immortality is heating up, and so are quite a few teams in the TSL! 

 

I did all of the investigative work for you, don’t worry. As has been stated many times in the past, the first couple of weeks of the season can be considered a wash. Teams are remembering how to play football, getting in fights, some are taking longer to limber up for the grind of the season, people miss early games because they “forgot the season was starting and made plans”, etc etc. So who’s been the best in the league for the last few weeks then? I’ll tell you: 

 

GOOD NOT BAD

 

 

• Just Joshing in D6 has had a mini revival of sorts in the last few weeks. After spending the first couple of games looking like they were playing cricket, volleyball, jai alai, or whatever other sport you want to put in here instead of football, there’s been a noticeable change in the team. After averaging only 6 points a game early on, JJ has gone 2-1 in their last 3 games, picking up wins against the Dogg Pound (20-15, not that impressive) and the Sausage McMuffins (34-16, pretty impressive), and the loss was a 36-30 game against Blitzkrieg, where a late Pick 6 stole a win/tie for JJ. They could be 3-0 with 2 impressive wins! They currently sit at 2-3, but with 3 winnable games left on the schedule (Sticky Laces, Back That Pass Up, and Balls Deep) we could be looking at a 5-3 team that could win D6. 

 

 

 

• The Malones in D3. They’re 3-0 in recent games, and they’ve scored 160 points in their wins over Vice, The Kellers, and Practice Squad. I know they know they should’ve gone to D2 at this point, but it’s irrelevant. They’re blossoming as the D3 favorites, and I’m not sure anyone really can slow them down. 

 

 

 

• Eyes Uptown (Legends) in D1. Sometimes you’ve gotta give good teams their flowers, and this is one of those times. They’re 3-1 in the last few weeks, scoring 145 points in that span. They weathered the storm pretty nicely from early on in the season, and their last second win over Sticky last week gives them the inside track on getting the #1 seed. 

 

 

 

• Come From Behind in D5. They’ve been nothing short of electric the last few weeks, which of course matches up with Paul LoVullo showing up to throw darts all over the field. They’re 3-0 in those games, outscoring teams 112-63. Look out D5! 

 

NOT GOOD NOT BAD JUST WHAT WE EXPECT

 

 

• The Cunning Stunts are 3-0 in the last few weeks, but this is exactly what they do every season at this point. 

 

 

 

• Can’t Touch This is on a 2 game winning streak after losing 40 in a row. (Approximately)

 

 

 

• Wanderers keep winning, they’re 4-0 overall. 

 

 

 

• GUCCI and THK are both 4-0 overall, at the top of D5. Business as usual.

 

 

 

• Blitzkrieg is 3-0 the last few weeks, sitting atop of D6. 

 

 

BAD NOT GOOD

 

 

• Keller Whales haven’t won a game since Week 2. Granted, they’re only 0-1 the last few weeks, but still, be at the fields more. 

 

 

 

• Practice Squad have gone 1-2 in the last few weeks after a decent start, and even in their win they were down 20+ points early on in the game I believe. Not the best of runs for the Squad. 

 

 

 

• Balls Deep are 0-2 in their last 2 games, including losing 18-6 to the previously winless Sticky Laces last week. 

 

While there’s a lot of good and bad going on all over the league, one thing that’s really good right now is the Week 6 schedule. There’s going to be a TON of big time matchups across all of the divisions that have lots of intrigue, or will just be plain fun to watch. Look at these matchups: 

 

 

• Come From Behind vs GUCCI (Two of D5s hottest teams)

• Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown (The Rematch!)

• Tater Tots vs Cunning Stunts (The Tots came into D4 as the Hot Tots, now they take on the best in D4)

• Scared Hitless vs Puckett All-Stars (D2 matchup that looks great on paper; will PAS get that first win after losing to SH 30-28 earlier in the season?)

• The Malones vs Let’s Get Reccked (D3 Week 1 hype train was all about how LGR was ‘too good’ for the division based on their roster, since then The Malones look infinitely better than LGR)

• Wanderers vs Keller Whales (Teams at the top of the D3 standings, they’re a combined 7-1 on the season so far)

 

 

And there’s a lot of good games that don’t quite just reach the “main event” type status that these ones all do too. This week at the Rose Garden is going to be absolutely fun to watch! And before you wonder if the weather in Buffalo is going to ruin these matchups, I also checked the weather for you.

 

The answer is: NO! It seems like you guys will have a 78 degree day chock full of sunshine. The perfect football day for what is shaping up to be an awesome slate of games. But who’s going to win them? 

D1

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Eyes Downtown 34, Frodo Swaggins 21

Eyes Uptown 42, Sticky Bandits 37

Eyes Downtown went out and took care of business against Frodo. Meanwhile, Eyes Uptown scored a last second TD to steal a victory from Sticky in a very good game. Don’t worry, things will get less boring once those crossover games start up. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown (EVEN) - OHHH ITS ON!!! The more important spread is the over/under of players suspended for this one. We’re setting it at 3.5! ED vs EU is chock full of bad blood. This matchup reminds me of the old ED vs Public Enemy games that used to define the regular season oh so often. As much as you want to see fireworks here, you’ll just see a good football game. I expect both sides to keep their cool in order to make sure nobody is suspended for the playoffs, which this game actually matters a bit for playoff seeding. EYES UPTOWN BY 2

D2

 

Last Week’s Games

 

Can’t Touch This 47, Puckett All-Stars 46

The Untouchaballs 39, Scared Hitless 18

 

PUCKETT! COME ON! The All-Stars get OH SO CLOSE yet again, falling just short to Can’t Touch This. I said this would be an “awesome, back and forth affair” and I was right. Both teams played their hearts out. The Untouchaballs walked onto the fields against Scared Hitless, beat them up a little bit, and walked off. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Freeballers vs Can’t Touch This (+3) - Now that Can’t Touch This seems to have gotten their groove back a little bit, I can’t imagine a better opponent for them than the Freeballers. That’s not a knock on FB either, they’ve been playing good football, and also have a pretty dominating win over CTT earlier in the season that you KNOW CTT wants back. It’s time to see if they can hang here or not. Maybe not yet. FREEBALLERS BY 6

 

Scared Hitless vs Puckett All-Stars (EVEN) - These two teams met a few weeks ago and Puckett was on the wrong end of a 30-28 loss. Since then, Scared Hitless has lost a few games and could use a good showing against PAS to settle themselves. Yet, PAS sees them as an opportunity to get that first win, and maybe a little revenge too. And they’ll get it. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 4

D3

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Buffalo Vice 39, Jabronies 38

The Malones 60, Practice Squad 30

Bullet Club 28, Buffalo Vice 22

 

Buffalo Vice got a really nice win over the Jabronies last week before losing to Bullet Club, giving BC their first win of the season. Meanwhile, The Malones just ran all over the field on Practice Squad, scoring 60. Can they score 70 this week? Let’s see! Someone let them know they’re being challenged, thanks. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Keller Whales vs Topper All Stars & Todd (+7) - Both teams return to the fields after some time off, which can only help those nagging aches and pains that affect everyone on both teams besides Katie Keller and Damien. I think we’ll be seeing TAST really stick in this one as they go for their first win, but ultimately they’ll fall short. KELLER WHALES BY 2

 

Wanderers vs Jabronies (+7) - The Wanderers have continued to stay hot this season, and they haven’t lost a game yet. While the Jabronies have been mostly good in their return, they’re still a .500 team right now, and they’re not quite on the level of where the Wanderers are. WANDERERS BY 6

 

Wanderers vs Keller Whales (+3) - Here’s another marquee matchup of the day, and neither team will have a rest advantage going into the game as they’ll both have just played a game. There are some whispers that the Keller Whales aren’t as good as they’ve seemed this season, and that this game will expose them. I, however, see it differently, and they’re going to shock the world this week. KELLER WHALES BY 3

 

Jabronies vs Bullet Club (EVEN) - These two teams feel as though they’re in similar spots where they’re a little better than their records show, but not too much better. Jabronies lost to Vice last week by a point, while BC beat Vice by 6. Perhaps that moves the needle Bullet Club’s way here. BULLET CLUB BY 3

 

The Malones vs Let’s Get Reccked (+7) - Despite the early season concerns of LGR’s roster, they’ve pretty much been average for the division. They’re 2-3 with a point differential of -1. That’s about as even as it gets. Meanwhile, they get The Malones who are just stomping everything. That doesn’t end here. THE MALONES BY 13

D4

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Passing While Intoxicated 43, Creekers 34

Tater Tots 40, Vaspian 7

Reset Warriors 52, Cobblestone 6

PWI continues to show why they shouldn’t be forgotten about in D4, as they proceeded to beat up on the Creekers to enter in a 3 way tie for first place in the division (We’ll just ignore that the Stunts have played two fewer games here). The Tater Tots avoided a loss to Vaspian, despite the best efforts of Drunk Meg, who classically returned an interception the wrong way (and yes, it was her own husband who couldn’t have been happier to email me about this play). The Reset Warriors got a convincing win over a Cobblestone team that was short handed, but a win is a win. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Cunning Stunts vs Tater Tots (+10) - The Stunts are 4-0 and scoring like they always do. There’s not much to say about our lovely ladies of the TSL, just that they’re machines that just keep winning and winning. Joey Batts is at his best when he’s the Stunts QB, always has been. The Tots have jumped into D4 kind of seamlessly, and they’re 4-2, tied for first in the division. Despite all of this, they only have one “good” win, a Week 1 win over the Creekers, and 3 wins against the worst teams in the division. The 2 losses are against ILF and PWI. The Tots need this win to prove they can hang with the best. Not today. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

Interdimensional Lightning Falcons vs Reset Warriors (+10) - The Reset Warriors are 2-3 overall, and have had a pretty good first season for the most part. The wins will come for this squad, but it’s hard to see it coming against an ILF team that has title aspirations, even if they’re the 4th best team in D4. They need a dominating win to show people that last thing I said isn’t true. They won’t get it. INTERDIMENSIONAL LIGHTNING FALCONS BY 6 (I said dominating win, not close win)

 

Creekers vs Cobblestone (+14) - This season is really starting to get away from Cobblestone, as their old demons from the past continue to haunt them: people no-showing, and everyone that isn’t Darryl Carr QB Superstar playing poorly. I can’t imagine things magically snap into place this week, as they take on a Creekers team that is looking to get back on the winning track after blowing it against PWI last weekend. CREEKERS BY 17

 

Creekers vs The Roaring 20s (+10) - TR20 is another team that continues to improve, which is a good thing for the overall health of the league. The new teams handling their business by the end of the first season they play means they’ll be coming back for more in the fall. TR20 reminds me of, well, the Creekers in their first season. Fun team to play against, losing games but not really getting killed, just need to work out the kinks, etc. I’m sure they’ll learn a few things in this one too. CREEKERS BY 7

 

Vaspian vs Cobblestone (EVEN) - Both teams are struggling this season, and Vaspian’s offense has missed Brian throwing for sure. They’re trying to figure things out still on that offensive end, and maybe this is the week it comes together for them. VASPIAN BY 3

D5

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Travis Henry’s Kids 28, TMA 14

Stir The Sauce 32, Two Tuddies 12

Come From Behind 16, Not So Sticky 7

 

THK continues their winning ways in D5, this time beating TMA who hung in there this time around. Stir The Sauce continues to be pretty good in D5, taking an easy win over the Tuddies last week. And CFB defeated their usual bugaboo in Not So Sticky, taking the win in the rain. 

 

This Week’s Games:

 

Come From Behind vs GUCCI (EVEN) - An absolute clash of the titans here. Both teams have been playing fantastic football, and it’s almost a shame someone has to lose. Well, they can tie, but that would be lame and nobody wants that. Kelly Kane vs Paul LoVullo, a matchup of the two best QBs in D5 is the best way to start off a great day of TSL football (They play at 9:00am, get there early kids!). COME FROM BEHIND BY 3

 

Come From Behind vs Two Tuddies (+14) - CFB goes from the top of the division down to the bottom in this double header, taking on the Tud Buds here. It hasn’t been smooth sailing in D5 for the Tuddies, but let’s not forget that before last weekend, all of their other games were one score games. That isn’t going to be the case here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 13

 

Not So Sticky vs TMA (+6) - With TMA sitting at 1-4, the TSL keeps wondering what’s going on with them. Realistically, D5 is a 3 horse race between GUCCI, CFB, and THK and TMA has played all of them. The rest of their season has a more “D5-y” feel to it, and NSS is one of the best examples of what a D5 team should be. TMA is going to be okay, and they’ll find themselves in this one, which even a close loss could feel like a win of sorts here. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

 

GUCCI vs Not So Sticky (+6) - GUCCI continues to put up points, and despite what happens in their early game against CFB, they should still be ready to go against an NSS defense that allows a decent amount of points. GUCCI BY 10

 

Stir The Sauce vs Power Puff Girls (+8) - The PPG are back after a week off, and they’ll be looking to score another win on the season. The problem for them is that STS stands in their way, and at the end of the day I don’t think PPG has any answer for Wrestler Dan. The Sauce Keeps Stirring. STIR THE SAUCE BY 13

D6

 

Last Week’s Games:

 

Just Joshing 34, Sausage McMuffins 16

Sausage McMuffins 50, Pit Harade 28

Sticky Laces 18, Balls Deep 6

Mighty Drunks 21, Dogg Pound 9

Pit Harade 36, Back That Pass Up 16

 

Just Joshing gets a BIG win over the McMuffins, giving them their first win over a team that’s won a game before in the TSL. JJ keeps getting better and better, as I mentioned earlier. The McMuffins would go on to get an easy win over Pit Harade to go 1-1 on the day, and then PH would follow suit, getting an easy win of their own over Back That Pass Up. Sticky Laces get their first win of the season over a very good Balls Deep team. Finally, the Mighty Drunks get a win over the Dogg Pound, who are still looking for their first win and they’re getting closer. 

This Week’s Games:

 

Blitzkrieg vs Back That Pass Up (+10) - Blitzkrieg had a week off, but they’re still in cruise control in the division, scoring nearly at will, but still playing great defense. They play a BTPU team that continues to be inconsistent, which I think will cost them this game against BK, but they have a mostly easy schedule the rest of the way. BLITZKRIEG BY 10

 

Sausage McMuffins vs Balls Deep (EVEN) - I think the real question for this game is going to be which SMM shows up? Last week was a microcosm of the head scratching season they’ve had. Getting blown out by Just Joshing, but then blowing out Pit Harade just feels backwards. Meanwhile Balls Deep has been slipping down the rankings a little bit after losses to the Mighty Drunks (understandable) and then Sticky Laces (a little shocking). Both of these teams need a win to really right the ship, and they both feel inconsistent. I’ll go with the better offense. SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 7

 

Pit Harade vs Mighty Drunks (EVEN) - This should be a good matchup here. Pit Harade has the ability to keep up with the Drunks in a shootout, although they also have a much better defense. This game has the makings of a close, back and forth game, and a lot depends on which version of the Drunks we get this week. MIGHTY DRUNKS BY 6

 

Just Joshing vs Sticky Laces (+6) - Both teams are coming off of nice wins last week, showing D6 is more of a “Top 8” than a “Top 6”. Despite both teams playing well last week, Just Joshing has been playing a bit better for longer. I can’t go against the team I just said was super hot. JUST JOSHING BY 10

 

Sticky Laces vs Dogg Pound (+7) - Dogg Pound has their best shot to get their first win here, getting Sticky Laces on the back end of a double header. Considering how wild D6 has been over the years (and this one too), I have a feeling I know how this will go. DOGG POUND BY 1

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:  

 

 

• What’s your current ranking of the brand new teams? Well, despite earlier ranking the Dogg Pound as #1, that’s going to take a hit here. I'm only using mostly brand new teams here, or ones that haven’t played in a while, and it’s including bar representation  but let’s go with:

• Just Joshing

• Stir The Sauce

• Topper’s All Stars & Todd

• The Roaring 20s

• Reset Warriors

• Sticky Laces

• Dogg Pound

 

 

As always, these can easily change. 

 

• Give me one overperforming and one underperforming team: Overperforming - Tater Tots, Underperforming - Let’s Get Reccked.

 

 

 

• Which division looks like it’ll be the most “wide open” now? At first glance, I think that, yet again, D3 has the most “I wouldn’t be surprised if _____ won the title” to it, but after really looking at it, the answer is D2. If you told me on Championship Saturday that ANY of these teams won the title, I’m not going to be surprised. And yes, that includes you, Puckett. 

 

 

 

• What has been going on with B’s Brother lately? While the reports to me haven’t been too clear, it appears he’s working on multiple TSL projects at once. We can’t rush the master when he’s at work. 

 

 

 

• What is this “Wine Tournament” I keep hearing about? On August 3rd, we have our annual TSL Wine Tournament at the Black Willow Winery. We have room for 16 teams in four divisions, but the league will play on the winery grounds, and drink lots of wine and wine slushies, and have a bunch of fun. There will be food and live music and it's just a really good time. You can sign up here: 

 

 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1kHH9UEaZ5bohtmGsUZlPjfzPF_dglSHgJurWR9OGeJo/edit

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY: 

 

 

• Games of the Week: 

• 9:00 - GUCCI vs Come From Behind

• 10:00 - Blitzkrieg vs Back That Pass Up

• 11:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Tater Tots

• 12:00 - Can’t Touch This vs Freeballers

• 1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Eyes Uptown

• 2:00 - Puckett All-Stars vs Scared Hitless

• 3:00 - Cobblestone vs Vaspian

 

 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 

• Dri’s Company 31, Breakfast Club (Trish’s Version) 30

• D’s Nutz 40, Jeneva Conventions 24

• Steph Infection 36, Mistymeanors 33

 

 

 

• Shout out to the amount of people that have been stepping up to referee this season. There’s been a lot of newer names on the list. If you want to help ref, feel free to reach out to Garrett Beesing, our Official Director Of Officiating to see if you can help! But to those same people, make sure you know the rules! Trust me, you’ll be questioned on lots of stuff, every single game. 

 

 

 

• It might have been the pouring rain, but good work overall on keeping the fields cleaner last weekend. 

 

 

 

• Even if it’s cloudy outside for a bit during your game, wear sunscreen anyway. Be smart about it! 

 

 

 

• Lenny and Rameer Day is NEXT Saturday, June 8th, where we have a blast celebrating our two league officials that left us too soon. The league should be having lots of fun things in store for you. I’m sure the Dunk Tank will be returning as well. 

 

 

 

• Don’t try to sneak illegal players into your games because you’re going to be short players. Everyone has more than enough time to get their sub requests into Jeff Krol before Saturday’s games. Don’t make anyone have to give up a win for a forfeit, please. 

 

 

 

• If you want to be a guest on the TSL Podcast, please reach out to anyone in the league that you think may be important and they can direct you to the right place. Now is the time to go on and start talking a little smack to your opponents. 

 

 

 

• As the parking situation continues to improve each week, please remember to keep parking at a reasonable distance from the car in the spot next to you. There are too many reports that people are leaving too much space, and thus taking away multiple potential spots that could be used. 

 

 

 

• Please remember that this is a social league, so actually be social! Stop up at the bar after your game, if only for a short time, and say hello to some new people and make some friends! 

 

Week 6 is on its way and it’s really shaping up to be a great week of TSL football! Have fun out there, and remember: Don’t Get Suspended!

 

-GF OUT

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