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- Written by Patrick McGovern
- Category: The Godfather's Picks
- Published: 04 June 2021
- Created: 04 June 2021
- Hits: 3163
Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe! Hello!
If you’re reading this, chances are it’s June 4th. This date, as many of you know, is our first official TSL Holiday. Honestly, if all of you could get a paid day off of work today, we’d do it for you. For those that don’t know, June 4th is our beloved Commissioner Lenny Alba’s birthday. While that enough would be reason to celebrate, this day gained even more importance a year ago.
You see, it was on this date a year ago that we also lost our Director of Officiating, Rameer Green. It was another crushing blow to the TSL family, and to make matters even worse, COVID prevented us from properly mourning together as a league. I know many TSLers feel the same: We never truly got to say goodbye to Rameer. It was just one more thing that COVID took away from us.
Enter: Lenny and Rameer Day. It will be a full day celebration of the lives of two of the most important people in league history. We will have a band playing at the bar from 12-3. We will have a dunk tank, which is open for any of our fun TSLers to get into. You want to make a name for yourself? Jump in. Allegedly, from what I’m hearing, our TSL Bachelorette said she’d do it. That’s the quickest way to gain (or lose) potential suitors. On her side, by the way. Once she sees some of you guys throw, you’re probably eliminated on the spot. We will have a bunch of other events too, and maybe we can even convince Topper TO BRING OUT THE WHEEL! Hopefully we see Cookie and Elmo. Lenny would want a clown. Rameer would want B’s Brother to not be there. (Which he is on assignment scouting locations for TSL Atlanta, so he won’t be gracing us with a surprise appearance). And everyone, tell your teammates:
**WEAR ORANGE FOR RAMEER**
I loved that idea on the podcast this week, and from what I can tell it’s a go. Let’s Orange Up the Rose Garden. If you need an orange shirt, Travis has 3,732 extra ones. Spread the word!
So, it just hit me. We have so many new TSLers (and we love every single one of you) that might be asking themselves “Who are these people?”. It’s a fair question, so let me inform you.
Lenny Alba was blessed with being Topper’s best friend. During the “great divide” where they left a league run by someone else, Lenny and Topper started Topper Sports. They gathered many teams, and Lenny helped turn this league into the insanely fun place that it’s become. Lenny had a larger than life personality, and he always made time to talk to anyone that approached him. He would talk a mile a minute (and swore he wasn’t on cocaine) and if you were ever on his good side, you’d be trapped into 45+ minute conversations whether you liked it or not. If you became text friends? He’d blow up your phone. He truly cared about people and their feelings, and he enjoyed taking anyone that the league viewed as a “villain” and bringing out the best in them. I miss getting an email Saturday night/Sunday morning about EVERYTHING that happened in the league the day before. It was a lot easier to write this article when Lenny gave me all of the info needed to write a 250 page book on a single day in the league. Lenny made you feel included when maybe you felt like an outsider. All you had to do was walk up to him and say hello, and before you knew it, he was cooking up a plan to have a professional archer shoot an apple off your head.
Rameer Green was the yin to Lenny’s yang in a way. Rameer wasn’t the showman that Lenny would be. Whereas Lenny would use fireworks and loud explosions, Rameer was significantly laid back. Rameer had a cool demeanor all to himself. He started as a player in the league, and through his love of the TSL “worked” his way up to become the Director of Officiating. That helped him become the “third man” in the TSL, basically becoming the tiebreaking vote whenever Lenny and Topper were at odds about something, be it hairbrained schemes or rule changes. Rameer was the guy who would see a new person in the league that he didn’t recognize, walk up to them, and say “who are you?”. He’d make you feel included almost instantly. He’d take the time to get to know you. Rameer acted like he was this big hardass a lot of the time, but once you got to know him you realized that there’s a big hearted softie underneath that “I don’t like fun” exterior he liked to put up. That’s why so many people loved Rameer. He cared about you, and he looked out for everyone in the TSL family. If he didn’t like you, or something you were doing, he let you know. But he never made it a thing, and never made it about him.
The fact that these two butted heads so often was almost surprising, but its because of this that the league really thrived. The fact that Topper once joked about Lenny taking Rameer up to heaven on his birthday is beautiful. There’s a piece of all of us that knew them both that Lenny welcomed Rameer to heaven smiling just to say “My birthday present is here!”. These two men were absolutely amazing human beings, and they’re giant parts of why you get to play in the best Social Co-Ed football league there is. They’re the reason why we’re all a family. Like I said above for both of them: They made you feel included. They were welcoming, each in their own way. You could go from “someone’s cousin’s friend who played one game” to a TSL celebrity in no time because of how they made people feel.
All of this, the league, the football, the great times, the friends we’ve made, the family we’ve made, those of you that have found your life partners in this league. . .we owe a lot of this to Lenny and Rameer.
So on Saturday, June 5th in the Year of Our Lord 2021, as you take the field to continue your quest to Social Co-ed football immortality, the wind will be coming from the southwest, 15 mph. It will be partly cloudy. Take a look up to the sky, take a deep breath, and smile. This weekend is about so much more than football. It’s about celebrating the lives of two amazing men who helped make everything we have today possible.
Wear Orange. Meet a new person from the league you haven’t. Make new friends. And get ready to laugh. It’s going to be a good one.
With that, I know you came here for some football stuff, but there’s no need for it this week.
Just kidding. Here we go. . .
D1:
Last Week’s Games:
Public Enemy 43, Sticky Bandits 34
Tight Ends In Motion 51, Sticky Bandits 24
Public Enemy 44, Sloppy Seconds 43
Eyes Downtown 34, Why So Serious 33
Somehow, D1 is exciting again, but for real. Sticky Bandits went 0-2, playing the top two teams in the division back to back, but fared much better this time around than earlier on in the season. Sloppy Seconds only lost to PE by a single point, and Why So Serious was a game winning 2 point conversion away from beating Eyes Downtown. All of a sudden, D1 is getting much better, and now the idea of an upset heading into the playoffs becomes more prevalent than ever.
This Week’s Games:
Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy (+2) – It’s so weird to see PE getting points, but based on the last time these teams played, I get it. This is the potential Super Bowl, which means one or both teams will be missing key players and it won’t be fun. Just for spice, PE takes this one. PUBLIC ENEMY BY 7
Eyes Downtown vs Sloppy Seconds (+13) – These two teams have been playing close games with each other, and I find it hard to believe that ED would win by 13 points. Sloppy will keep this close, so I don’t think ED will cover. But they’ll win. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 3
Sticky Bandits vs Why So Serious (+5) – Both teams are improving, as noted above. This will be a close matchup, but I feel like Sticky has been improving for a bit longer. STICKY BANDITS BY 8
Eyes Downtown vs Sticky Bandits (+10) – On paper, this seems like an Eyes Downtown win. I get it. But in the spirit of keeping things fun, I smell the upset. STICKY BANDITS BY 2
D2:
Last Week’s Games:
Mountain Dew Me 44, A&A 37
Peachy Platoon 24, Scared Hitless 19
Slytherin That End Zone 20, XTC 17
Losing Streak 38, Bullet Club 26
Losing Streak 55, Mountain Dew Me 22
Losing Streak goes 2-0 and puts up almost 100 points again and cements themselves as D2 title contenders. Mountain Dew Me beat A&A before losing to LS to show that they’re also for real. SITE stole a win against XTC, Peachy was undermanned but took a win from Scared Hitless, and Bullet Club continues to keep losing.
This Week’s Games:
Peachy Platoon vs Bullet Club (+11) – Bullet Club needs to find a win somewhere in the last two weeks to ensure they make the playoffs, but I’m not sure this is it. Peachy is just incredibly good and playing at a much higher level. PEACHY PLATOON BY 14
Losing Streak vs Slytherin That End Zone (+9) – Something just feels off about SITE this season, and I’m not sure what it is. Meanwhile, Jordan has Ralph and Joe and they’re just on fire right now. LOSING STREAK BY 17
Mountain Dew Me vs Scared Hitless (+13) – Both teams are talented, and Scared Hitless can definitely run with MDM. Hitless may even boast better girls. But it comes down to Joey Batts vs Dylan Day and, on paper, Joey should give the substantial advantage here. Should. SCARED HITLESS BY 3
A&A vs Passed Our Prime (+13) – POP has only played 5 games? What are they doing, pushing all of their games to next week to bring in Bloomfield for one week, but gets 3 games? They only need to win 2 of their next 4 for a shot at making the playoffs. Right now though, I can’t see them getting past A&A who could use a win after a slight upset last week. A&A BY 12
D3:
Last Week’s Games:
All We Do Is Quinn 30, The Untouchaballs 24
Frodo Swaggins 27, Vaspian 23
Wolfpack 32, Grey Hair 23
Top Shot 56, The Angels 25
Top Shot is very good, we know that. They’re the favorites now as they’re overpowered for D3. But, Frodo still exists. Frodo is also playing at a very high level, and they have a really good chance at taking down TS. And what about Quinn? They’re still there, lurking, but perhaps not being the focal point of the division each week takes the pressure off of them? Wolfpack got a nice win and they’re starting to come together. Look for them to be a tough out. The Angels are mortal, finally, but they’re right where they belong. They’re going to keep getting better because they have so much talent, so don’t dismiss them ever.
This Week’s Games:
All We Do Is Quinn vs Wolfpack (+11) – I know I just said that WP is playing better, but I think this is going to be the game where people remember who Quinn are. (I can keep saying this until I’m right, right?) ALL WE DO IS QUINN BY 17
Grey Hair Don’t Care vs The Angels (+4) – Last time these two met, Grey Hair took the win in what was Bro’s first game as a gender QB. Look for improvements across the board, and for the girls to get a nice win on Lenny and Rameer Day. THE ANGELS BY 9
Top Shot vs Frodo Swaggins (+5) – Championship preview here! This is more than likely going to be the Game of the Day, right? TOP SHOT BY 2
Frodo Swaggins vs The Untouchaballs (+8) – The Untouchaballs still struggle with defense, which does NOT bode well for them here. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 13
Top Shot vs Vaspian (+21) – This is a pseudo D2 team vs a pseudo D4 team. It isn’t going to be pretty. TOP SHOT BY 28
D4:
Last Week’s Games:
Freeballers 51, Itches and Ohs 0
TOX 28, WoodPeckers 21
Freeballers 30, Cobblestone 22
Buffalo Vice 42, Not So Sticky 37
Cunning Stunts 43, Practice Squad 32
Itches and Ohs 34, Woodpeckers 28
Jabronies 27, Cobblestone 23
The Freeballers had themselves a day, going 2-0 and sneakily placing themselves just outside the edge of the true D4 contenders here. Their defense has been amazing. Seriously. Speaking of contenders, the Stunts took on their toughest challenge yet in Practice Squad and had no issues in disposing of them. Buffalo Vice had more than enough trouble with Not So Sticky, but they prevailed in the end. Itches and Ohs didn’t have the best start to the day, but they got their act together in beating the Woodpeckers. Speaking of the Peckers, they’re SO CLOSE to getting that first D4 win, and they’re also a team that’s starting to figure it out. Losing to TOX hurts their playoff chances, but a win or two in their last couple of games means they have a shot to sneak in. That would be fun.
This Week’s Games:
Freeballers vs TOX (+5) – Is TOX good? I have no idea. They’re a very up and down team that really depends on the day which team you’re going to get. Any game against Topper is a “marquee” game for a team, so look for the Ballers to be ready. FREEBALLERS BY 4
Jabronies vs Woodpeckers (+13) – Jabronies continues to be a sneaky good team that people aren’t giving enough credit to. JABRONIES BY 10
Buffalo Vice vs Jabronies (+1) – This is the measuring stick game for Jabronies though. A win here would be HUGE against that dangerous Vice team. I think they come up a little short. BUFFALO VICE BY 3
Practice Squad vs Not So Sticky (+21) – NSS isn’t in the same stratosphere as PS. I’m sorry Jeff Krol. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 20
Cunning Stunts vs Itches and Ohs (+13) – Considering how things went for Itches last week, there’s no way they’re prepared for the Stunts. CUNNING STUNTS BY 20
Itches and Ohs vs Not So Sticky (+5) – This is going to be a pretty fun game. I think both teams have a realistic chance at taking this one. Look for the upset to make the playoff race a little more spicy. NOT SO STICKY BY 3
D5:
Last Week’s Games:
Breast Friends 21, Show Me Dem TDs 0 (Forfeit)
The Bambs 46, Wasted Potential 26
Puckett All-Stars 43, ILF 30
Zack Attack 38, UWM 0
Zack Attack 31, The Bambs 22
Zack Attack just continues their dominance over the division, as the TSL’s #1 ranked team (according the Toppermetrics) went 2-0 rather easily. Wasted Potential dropped below .500 on the season with a loss to The Bambs, who have been looking good as of late (even in a loss to Zack Attack, but everyone loses to Zack Attack). Puckett All-Stars continue to cruise as they can no longer fly under the radar now that Topper is letting the cat out of the bag on them on the podcast. UWM was at the fields this week, allegedly.
This Week’s Games:
Puckett All-Stars vs Wasted Potential (+11) – One of the hottest teams in D5 against a team still figuring it out. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 12
ILF vs The Bambs (+3) – Probably the top game in D5 this week, These two teams both score as many points as they give up. This one is going to be a close one regardless of what happens. THE BAMBS BY 1.
Puckett All-Stars vs The Bambs (+13) – The second game for both of these teams, but one is playing better than the other. Puckett is better on offense AND defense. No chance for the Bambs. PUCKETT ALL-STARS BY 20
Breast Friends vs Show Me Dem TDs (+14) – When was the last time Breast Friends even played? Should I assume another forfeit? BREAST FRIENDS BY 21.
Zack Attack vs University Wealth Management (+33) – If UWM manages your wealth the way they manage football games, you may want to look elsewhere. Dear Zack Attack, the bar is 40 points. Can you win by that? ZACK ATTACK BY 40.
D6:
Last Week’s Games:
Lenny’s Ladies 42, Graves Bros 38
Spinelli’s Plumbing 58, Victorious Secret 24
Travis Henry’s Kids 25, TMA 18
The Bi-Polar Express 42, Blitzkrieg 34
Tater Tots 44, Juiced 12
Girl power was on display last weekend as BPX and Lenny’s Ladies took home victories against some good competition. Graves Bros are slowly fading away from being title contenders with that loss, and Blitzkrieg really has some soul searching to do as well. THK scored near the end of the game to give them a win over TMA in a really awesome matchup. Here’s hoping they can run it back in the playoffs. Spinelli’s and Tater Tots are the current “best teams in D6”, and they both easily won games they should have. It all checks out.
This Week’s Games:
Blitzkrieg vs Juiced (+14) – Well, if there’s any remedy for curing what ails you, it’s a game against Juiced. Look for Blitzkrieg to get it together this week. BLITZKRIEG BY 7
Tater Tots vs Graves Bros (+11) – I was excited for this matchup, but the way these two teams have been playing lately makes me think Graves isn’t on the Tots’ level. TATER TOTS BY 10
Travis Henry’s Kids vs The Bi-Polar Express (+8) – THK’s ascension in the TSL has been fun to watch from afar. It seems like these guys can play for sure, and if the deep ball is working for them, look out ladies. TRAVIS HENRY’S KIDS BY 12
Lenny’s Ladies vs The Bi-Polar Express (+2) – Joe K vs Gordon in a gender team matchup is exactly what Lenny would want his namesake team to be in on Lenny and Rameer Day. This is going to be a fun one, but look for the team with more experience to walk away with a win. THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS BY 6
Spinelli’s Plumbing vs Lenny’s Ladies (+19) – Spinelli’s has been stomping just about everyone that they play, and I can’t see a different result happening here. SPINELLI’S PLUMBING BY 28
TMA vs Victorious Secret (+5) – TMA seems to get all three gender teams late in the season, which is a good way to prepare for what’s ahead in the playoffs. Victorious Secret is very good when they’re on, but any gender team is going to have problems with the height of TMA. TMA BY 13
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY:
1. Are you sticking around for all of the festivities this week? That’s the only question that really matters. Lenny and Rameer Day is going to be an awesome time, and I’m sure it’ll be a yearly TSL event akin to the wine tournament and the banquet. Wear Orange! (I’ll keep repeating that, because why not?)
2. Can Zack Attack be stopped? Seriously, they’re doing so incredibly well this season, so that means they’re destined for playoff failure. Its not on them, its just how this league works. (Cue Puckett All-Stars’ music)
3. Will the Woodpeckers ever consult the TSL Universal Sublist for a QB? Look at the available QBs for them there: Jordan Lawson, B, Tommy Hughes, Johnny Dio, Ricky Austin, Jeff May. . . all great players that could help them get the wins they need to make playoffs. Just saying.
4. Who else wants to referee? We had a lot of new refs step up this week, and while there were some issues, yes, we also heard about many other people who would’ve stepped up if they knew we needed some more volunteers. Please, if you’re interested in being a backup ref, tell Topper or Coach Jay right away!
5. Who’s getting in the Dunk Tank? AND WHY AREN’T TEAMS MAKING BETS ON THE LOSER HAVING TO GO IN THE TANK? BREAKFAST CLUB? WHERE ARE YOU WITH THIS? Slackers, all of you.
TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY:
1. I truly hope people who don’t usually stick around at the bar do this week. Lenny and Rameer would’ve thrived in that scenario to get to know you, and I hope the current “usuals at the bar” TSLers reach out to those they don’t normally see at the bar to make new friends in the spirit of our fallen friends.
2. I heard on the podcast about Travis Henry’s Kids QB John failing at throwing Goal Line to Goal Line after the games last week. Is there anyone out there that can do it? Anyone who thinks they can out throw him? Loser goes to the Dunk Tank.
3. Absolute classy move by the TSL to immediately donate to Garrett Beesing’s sister’s MS Walk. We’ve already hit $1000 in donations, which means Garrett is playing in his underwear this weekend for Breakfast Club. **REMEMBER, IF WE GET TO $2000, WE CAN SHAVE HIS HEAD. $5000 RAISED MEANS HE WILL GET A TSL TATTOO!**
4. I didn’t want to steal any thunder from the opener of the article, but I too will casually be in town and at the fields this week to celebrate Lenny and Rameer. I look forward to those of you trying to figure out who I am.
5. This week is going to be all about fun, next week is all about business. There are going to be a lot of playoff spots on the line, it’ll be fun to go over all of them in the article next week.
6. Paul Scinta cheese platter day for Lenny and Rameer Day? Someone tell Paul ASAP!
7. With all of the fun that is going to be had this week, PLEASE continue to be respectful of the bar. Also, if you get too drunk, do *not* drive home! Let’s be very safe this weekend please!
8. Sadly, I’m forced to report that Travis has tied Topper in the Steak Dinner Weekly Bets Challenge, and nobody is happy about it.
9. Here are your games of the week:
10:00 – Tight Ends In Motion vs Public Enemy
11:00 – Grey Hair vs The Angels
12:00 – Top Shot vs Frodo Swaggins
1:00 – The Bambs vs Puckett All-Stars
2:00 – The Bi-Polar Express vs Lenny’s Ladies
3:00 – Cunning Stunts vs Itches and Ohs
4:00 – Itches and Ohs vs Not So Sticky (It’s also the only game)
10. Breakfast Club predictions:
Stone Cold Kellers 47, Drive Me CURRazy 22
Peanut Butter Kelly Time 36, The Emigos 32
Robin’s Nest 42, Valkyries 30
Great White Clarkes 50, Steph It Up A Notch 17
This is a big week for the TSL, so let’s make sure we make it the best we possibly can, as a family. I look forward to being at the fields for the fun of it all, its been way too long for me. Wear your orange, meet new friends, donate to Garrett so we can make him get a tattoo, and HAVE FUN.
We love you Lenny. We love you Rameer. You’re going to hear us partying up in heaven tomorrow.
-GF
