Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, there are only 2 weeks left in the TSL Fall 2026 season. That means the teams better be rounding into form soon, or else they’re going to have a very short Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality that doesn’t end in being immortal. As I’ve mentioned in this article about 40,000 times over the last few decades, it isn’t how you start the season that matters, it’s how you finish it. 

 

Now that we’ve had a pretty good sample size of games across the league, here are the hottest and coldest teams in the league currently over the last 3 weeks or so: 

WHO’S HOT

Those 5 teams shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that’s really been watching the league. The Raw Milkers rocketed to the top of the D6 standings and knocked both Select and the Irish Giants off their perch. The Coochie Monsters have been rolling through anyone they’ve played lately. BQI has been otherworldly since a slow start in D2, but the same can be said for Let’s Get Reccked who have gone 3-0 since an 0-3 start. TMA hasn’t stopped rolling either. 

 

HONORABLE MENTION

These teams didn’t make the super kool graphic, however they’ve also been playing quite well, heating up at the right time:

The Malones - Yeah, they’re ‘back’ and now QB Strug has returned? Nobody is going to want to play them come playoffs. Or even now. 

PowerPuff Girls - They’re winning, they’ve got some mojo back, they have Kayla Voss showing everyone why she gets taken 3 rounds ahead of Nick in fantasy drafts, and they’re getting back to being VERY dangerous. 

Wet Bandits - Yes, those D5 Wet Bandits, not the Legends in disguise. They’re 2-2 over the last 3 weeks, sure, but the two losses? A 3 point loss to Pit Harade and a 2 point loss to Blitzkrieg. They’re two plays away from being 4-0 in those games, being 5-2 overall, and being the hottest team in the league. That deserves to be mentioned. 

 

WHO’S COLD AS ICE

These teams were the cat’s ass in the first part of the season but have since gone through it big time. Except for Balls Deep. They’re a rollercoaster this season, losing two games before winning two against PPG and the Coochie Monsters, and then getting destroyed by both Skeleton Crew and Flying Balls. Not great. Each team left on this list has some sort of excuse to be here: Frodo has Garrett’s injury, Bullet Club has injuries to multiple females, Freeballers have to combat Buddy, and I’m sure Bengay has some issue I don’t know about. There’s still time for them to snap out of it, there’s just less of it. 

D1

Sticky Bandits stayed atop the division and made a statement doing it, hanging 65 on a Frodo Swaggins team that’s in disarray. Eyes Downtown reminded Can’t Touch This who runs D1, ending their hot streak with a 59‑35 rout. The Malones kept the resurrection going, dropping 54 on the Freeballers. 

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS FREEBALLERS (+11) - Well, if there’s going to be a “Freeballers arrival” moment, it would have to be this game against the defending champs. The problem is that based on how both teams are playing, it seems incredibly unlikely. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 16

STICKY BANDITS VS LEGENDS (+8) - A battle of two of the best teams in the division. This one has a little bit more at stake, as the winner of this game will be the only 1 loss team remaining in D1, which means they control their own destiny in terms of winning the division and getting the first round bye. That’s going to matter more than in years past because realistically getting to play the “7th seed” in the 2v7 message will be a lot harder than it has been. Expect both teams’ best here. LEGENDS BY 1

CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+12) - Can’t Touch This hit a bump in the road last week in the form of Eyes Downtown, but that’s nothing to be ashamed of. They’ll get their confidence right against Frodo, who has been all over the place. I don’t know if Garrett is going to play yet, as that would obviously matter a bit, but assuming not for this one. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 18

STICKY BANDITS VS FREEBALLERS (+13) - Sticky gets the Freeballers on the back half of a double header for both. Freeballers will be continuing to be looking to prove something against a top team, Sticky needs to keep notching wins in the race for the #1 seed. STICKY BANDITS BY 13

LEGENDS VS THE MALONES (+9) - Well, this game should be quiet and professional where both teams will just have fun. The Malones getting the Legends just as they’re starting to peak this season is top notch entertainment. THE MALONES BY 1

EYES DOWNTOWN VS THE MALONES (+13) - This game was rescheduled from a few weeks ago, and Eyes Downtown may end up regretting that, as The Malones found whatever their version of Popeye’s spinach or Mario’s Starman is. Although BQI plays at the same time as this one, and BQI is basically just Eyes Downtown with Bridget throwing. I can’t imagine Bobby would want to play this at anything less than full strength though. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 7

 

D2

The division officially has flipped on its head. BQI put a 52‑8 beating on Bullet Club to take the division lead, and Let’s Get Reccked kept its  turnaround rolling with an easy win over PWI. The System’s misery continued, falling to DXYZ to drop to 1‑6 and having Andrew walk around with an angry, scrunched face. 

 

 

BQI VS PWI (+5) - The easiest part of this game is typing it out. 6 letters total. Great work. At the end of the day, this game simply comes down to how many Eyes Downtowners are allowed to play in D2 when the parent club has a game. It doesn’t feel likely that many of them will. PWI BY 12

BULLET CLUB VS PWI (+2) - Both teams could really use a shot in the arm to get going, and last time these teams played it came down to the last play. I expect more of the same in this one. PWI BY 1

LET’S GET RECCKED VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+2) - There have been songs that have been sung about how well LGR has been playing as of late, but DXYZ haven’t been slouches either. This game will be closer than you’re thinking it will be. D-GENERATION X Y AND Z BY 3

D3

 

Grey Hair - Don’t Care is 7‑0, handling Mike’s Detailing to stay perfect. Cunning Stunts kept pace at 5‑1 behind another big offensive day against Practice Squad. And Cobblestone, well, Cobblestone forfeited again to Buffalo Vice, the second time this season they’ve resolved a scheduling problem by not showing up. 

 

 

BUFFALO VICE VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+2) - Both teams have their fair share of issues, Practice Squad just can’t seem to click how they want to, and Buffalo Vice simply doesn’t really get to play enough games to work out the kinks as half of their games this season have been forfeits. The last time these teams met though was a 1 point thriller, and I think we’ll see that again. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 1

 GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS CUNNING STUNTS (+10) - ITS ON. Here’s your super awesome game of the day. Grey Hair has its perfect season on the line this week against the Stunts, who’ve arguably been the hotter team since these two met in Week 1. The Stunts have averaged just a hair under 50 points a game since that battle, absolutely demolishing the competition. They’ll be looking to get that win back for sure. CUNNING STUNTS BY 4

 

 

D4

 

 

On today’s edition of the soap opera that is D4: The Blue Ballers found their offense again and dropped 40 on Not So Sticky, ending their perfect season. Flying Balls kept quietly stacking wins, edging the Tater Thots by a point. I’d Rather Be Golfing drew a brutal doubleheader and got outscored by a combined 52 points to the Thots and Coochies. PowerPuff Girls handled Two Tuddies.

 

 

GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS VS BALLS DEEP (+15) - Will the real Balls Deep please stand up? If the pattern holds true, Balls Deep will pull this one out. The Thots have been pretty good most of the year though, and I can’t imagine that a week off fixed the Balls Deep offense. GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS BY 12

SKELETON CREW VS TWO TUDDIES (+10) - Two teams in the murky middle of D4 meet in this one. Even if the Tud Buds are the only “Non-Cobblestone” team to not win a game yet in the league, it’s not for a lack of trying. They DO have a tie after all. Things may not have gone their way, but the Tuddies probably remain optimistic, and they know they have a good team. They didn’t actually just forget how football works a few weeks ago, right? Of course not. They catch a good but not great Skeleton Crew at the right time, which is perfect for them. Put ‘em on the board. TWO TUDDIES BY 8

NOT SO STICKY VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+2) - A battle for first place in the division (sort of, if the Flying Balls win they’ll potentially be in first) but these two teams have been good all season and we’ve got a doozy on our hands this time around. Not So Sticky had their slip up last week, it’s the Coochies’ turn. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS BLUE BALLERS (+1) - The Blue Ballers found their offense again, just in time to play an improving Powerpuff Girls team. This is another great game, the schedule makers really nailed this week. The Blue Ballers are unstoppable when firing on all cylinders. BLUE BALLERS BY 7

FLYING BALLS VS I’D RATHER BE GOLFING (+13) - Golfing is probably running to the Golf Course as they finish up their season a week early. It’s incredible to think that Eickhoff could have an 8-0 team in D3, but end up 9-7 on the season. Flying Balls just keep on keepin’ on at this point as they continue to rack up wins. FLYING BALLS BY 9

 

 

D5

 

 

TMA went 2‑0, knocking off CFB before a 30‑6 dismantling of Pit Harade to surge all the way to the top of D5. Victorious Secret won an instant classic over Blitzkrieg, 44‑43, completing a hell of a comeback. And Wet Bandits edged the 716ers by a single point in another great D5 game. 

 

And somehow, there are no D5 games this week. 

 

D6

 

 

Raw Milkers and Irish Giants played a game that ended 15‑0, and the Milkers walked away as the last perfect team standing in the division. Cat‑Tastrophe beat SBG by 19 in a bit of a surprise, Select handled Blitzed and Confused, and Sticky Laces got a comfortable win over Bengay Bandits

 

SELECT VS CAT-TASTROPHE (+16) - D6 has a lot of games that are just going to look lopsided. This is the first one. SELECT BY 20

STICKY LACES VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+15) - This is the second one, but Sticky Laces aren’t exactly world beaters, and this game will be closer than you’d think. STICKY LACES BY 6

IRISH GIANTS VS SBG (+15) - SBG keeps this one close, but not close enough. IRISH GIANTS BY 12

RAW MILKERS VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+18) - Raw Milkers get to breathe a sigh of relief after getting a killer slate of games the last few weeks. RAW MILKERS BY 18

RAW MILKERS VS BENGAY BANDITS (+14) - The first of two REALLY tough games for the Bengay Bandits. RAW MILKERS BY 17

IRISH GIANTS VS BENGAY BANDITS (+14) - It doesn’t get any easier for them here. IRISH GIANTS BY 21

 

TSC vs THE GODFATHER

LAST WEEK’S RESULTS (Week 6):
The Godfather: 18‑5 SU, 16‑5‑2 ATS
The TSC: 17‑6 SU, 13‑8‑2 ATS

SEASON:
The Godfather: 86‑41‑3 SU, 70‑55‑5 ATS
The TSC: 74‑53‑3 SU, 57‑68‑5 ATS

THE TSC’S PICKS:

D1
EYES DOWNTOWN VS FREEBALLERS (+11) -- EYES DOWNTOWN BY 8
STICKY BANDITS VS LEGENDS (+8) -- STICKY BANDITS BY 5
CAN’T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+12) -- CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 14
STICKY BANDITS VS FREEBALLERS (+13) -- STICKY BANDITS BY 15
LEGENDS VS THE MALONES (+9) -- LEGENDS BY 6
EYES DOWNTOWN VS THE MALONES (+13) -- EYES DOWNTOWN BY 15

D2
BQI VS PWI (+5) -- PWI BY 2
BULLET CLUB VS PWI (+2) -- PWI BY 2
LET’S GET RECCKED VS D-GENERATION X Y AND Z (+2) -- D-GENERATION X Y AND Z BY 2

D3
BUFFALO VICE VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+2) -- PRACTICE SQUAD BY 2
GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE VS CUNNING STUNTS (+10) -- GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE BY 7

D4
GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS VS BALLS DEEP (+15) -- GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS BY 17
SKELETON CREW VS TWO TUDDIES (+10) -- SKELETON CREW BY 7
NOT SO STICKY VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+2) -- COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 2
POWERPUFF GIRLS VS BLUE BALLERS (+1) -- BLUE BALLERS BY 1
FLYING BALLS VS I’D RATHER BE GOLFING (+13) -- FLYING BALLS BY 15

D6
SELECT VS CAT-TASTROPHE (+16) -- SELECT BY 18
STICKY LACES VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+15) -- STICKY LACES BY 17
IRISH GIANTS VS SBG (+15) -- IRISH GIANTS BY 17
RAW MILKERS VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+18) -- RAW MILKERS BY 20
RAW MILKERS VS BENGAY BANDITS (+14) -- RAW MILKERS BY 16
IRISH GIANTS VS BENGAY BANDITS (+14) -- IRISH GIANTS BY 16

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY 

 

-When was the last time we had an entire division just off for a week? D5 is apparently just not playing this week. 

 

-D1 is absolutely insane this week as Legends, Eyes Downtown, The Malones, Sticky Bandits, and Freeballers all are a part of this rotating doubleheader pentagram of doom that will really show us where everyone currently stands. There’s a lot of good football incoming. Shout out to Can’t Touch This and Frodo, who can just play each other and then watch everyone else beat the crap out of each other. 

 

-D6’s slate is essentially the opposite, with the top teams (with special guest Sticky Laces!) all get to beat up on the bottom half of the division. 

 

-Marquee matchups still exist across all of the divisions - Bullet Club vs PWI, Grey Hair vs the Stunts, Not So Sticky vs Coochie Monsters. What a slate of games this week. 

 

-And how many of them will be ruined by Fall Fest? Ellicottville's Fall Fest is traditionally a “light” week for players showing up to their games (probably why D5 doesn’t play at all), and has caused the most missed games in TSL history (just ahead of Labor Day and COVID). Of course you’d want to miss the best football you could play so you can stand 7 deep at the bar in Balloons waiting 47 minutes for a High Noon while multiple 20-23 year olds puke outside. But hey, the leaves look pretty. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-The TSL season is going to have a hell of a last two weeks, as some big games, playoff seeding, and bye weeks are going to be determined with players not only missing this week for Fall Fest, but allegedly there’s a decent contingent of TSLers going to Las Vegas the next week for the Bills game? Anything can happen. 

 

-Breakfast Club Predictions: 

D’s Nutz 40, Steph Infection 17

Carly-fornia Dreaming 33, Meagan It Happen 20

Megoonsta’s 27, Missydemeanor 14

 

-I didn’t realize we only were getting half of a TSL podcast this week. (EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS HAS BEEN FIXED.)

 

-At least we had Tino’s beautiful poetry this week. If you didn’t see it, click here to read it: https://tsl716.com/index.php/the-lenny-alba-variety-hour

 

-You know every single division has multiple teams that can win the title, and there are once again no truly “overpowered” teams anywhere, right? 

 

-Games of the Day: 

 

10:00 - Legends vs Sticky Bandits

11:00 - Balls Deep vs Great Value Tater Thots

12:00 - Legends vs The Malones

1:00 - Eyes Downtown vs The Malones

2:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Grey Hair Don’t Care

3:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Not So Sticky

-I got more than a few messages and emails about referees making bad calls and apparently costing people “their season” (which is simply not true), so I just wanted to say this: If a ref makes a bad call, screaming at them is never going to make things better. On the other side of that, if you’re going to referee, you are required to at least know the rules. Or most of them. You can tell the playoffs are inching closer by the second. People are starting to crack. 

 

-I got bored and decided to look up the teams I’m doing the best at picking their games with. Here’s what I have: 

 

Straight Up — Most Right

1. Grey Hair – Don’t Care — 6-0 (+6)
2. Cunning Stunts — 6-0 (+6)
3. Freeballers — 5-0 (+5)
4. BQI — 6-1 (+5)
5. I’d Rather Be Golfing — 6-1 (+5)

Straight Up — Most Wrong

1. Bengay Bandits — 1-4 (−3)
2. Blitzkrieg — 2-5 (−3)
3. Balls Deep — 2-4 (−2)
4. Come From Behind — 2-4 (−2)
5. Cat-Tastrophe — 2-4 (−2)

ATS — Most Right

1. Cunning Stunts — 5-0 (+5)
2. Legends — 4-0 (+4)
3. Freeballers — 5-1 (+4)
4. Great Value Tater Thots — 5-1 (+4)
5. PWI — 4-1 (+3)

ATS — Most Wrong

1. Blue Ballers — 1-5 (−4)
2. Bengay Bandits — 1-4 (−3)
3. Blitzkrieg — 2-5 (−3)
4. Balls Deep — 2-4 (−2)
5. Not So Sticky — 2-4 (−2)

-Two middle of the standings teams that really will have a chance to take home their division titles as of right now are Let’s Get Reccked and the Blue Ballers. Bet on them while you still can get good odds. 

-You guys can’t keep getting away with this, but it’s looking like a beautiful, 70 degree day for you in Buffalo this weekend. Enjoy it while you still can. 

-GF OUT