Welcome back to the TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!  If you've read our article in the past (if for no other reason than to complain about how wrong we are) then you’re familiar with the concept – every week we share our rankings for the Top QBs in the League and discuss who’s trending up and who's trending down.  We on the QB Power Rankings Committee are not what you'd call "great writers" (or even "very good" writers... check out the Godfather if you want better writing) so we typically lean heavily on graphs and stats instead... at least, we do after a few weeks, when there's significant enough data to bother sharing.  In our season opening articles we also make a few predictions for the session and re-print an explanation of how these Power Rankings work, which we've copied and pasted almost verbatim from previous articles.

So a little Q&A to refresh your memories:

“There are 48 teams in the TSL this season!  Are you going to show rankings for all 48 starting QB’s every week?”

Not even close.  At minimum, the Top Ten will be shown EVERY week.  We always expand as the season goes on, so you'll see a Top 15, Top 20... last season we got to a Top 25, so we do try to be inclusive.

“Is this going to be heavily biased towards the higher divisions?”

In a word: yes.  The purpose of a Power Ranking is to highlight the absolute best in the League, and for the most part the best are competing AGAINST the best.  We will absolutely be acknowledging the performances (good and bad) of Quarterbacks in the lower divisions as well, but it's rare that a lower division QB will crack the Top Ten or Fifteen, and that's the way it should be.  Generally speaking, if you don't like your ranking, our advice is to try moving up a division next session.  The better your competition, the more credibility you earn for beating it.

"Are gender team QBs treated differently in the Rankings?"

Not really.  A team's a team, and although gender team scores tend to be a little higher (every TD = minimum 8 points) we don't see much difference.  It takes skill to win with men; it takes skill to win with women.  The biggest knock on gender teams is that they tend to play in lower divisions and as we said above, we do factor THAT into our rankings.

"How are you ranking backup QBs if they come in and play better than some other team's starter?"

Generally, we're only ranking one QB per team, even if you've got a player on your bench that you think could be a successful starter elsewhere.  And for teams with unreliable QBs who don't show up often enough for us to even KNOW who the starter is, we often leave them out of our rankings entirely... as they say, the best "ability" is "availability".  If you want to get ranked, show up and play as often as you can.  

"I'm new to this League and people don't know me yet!  How do I get ranked when I'm still an unknown?"

For starters, you should play really well.  If you're scoring a lot of points, we WILL notice you.  There are several new teams this session, so we probably DON'T know who you all are yet.  We no longer have our own email address, so if you want to tell us about your QB, why not email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and introduce yourself?  And please, please be patient.  If you're the highest scoring team in the League in Week 2, that doesn't mean we're anointing you as the next Joey Batts just yet.  Keep at it, play well, and we promise eventually we will recognize you.

“So you’re only ranking QB’s… what about the rest of us?”

Oh, we didn’t forget about the rest of you.  In addition to the QB Rankings, we will do our best to put out other rankings that the rest of you can enjoy – best team offenses, best team defenses, best referees, best male receivers, best female receivers, best at bar …  ranking anything is always fun.  Unless we rank you last, of course.  

“You keep saying ‘we’.  Who is writing this?  Who determines these rankings?”

Don’t worry about who’s writing this.  Let’s be honest: If you knew who was on our Committee (there's a few of us), you would incessantly whine to them about why you or your QB should be ranked higher every week.  Anonymity is key for journalism THIS important.  

And that's how the Power Rankings work.  We expect it's going to be an incredible season, with fifty-ish teams battling for TSL supremacy.  Our official bold predictions for this year (with the benefit of one week already being in the books, of course): 

• Bullet Club wins the D3 championship, going on a playoff run when teams are less likely to have schedule conflicts.
• PowerPuff Girls finally run out of steam, and fail to make their third consecutive Finals appearance (let alone win).
• Blue Ballers win their second division in a row, taking home the D5 championship.
• The D4 finals will be Coochie Monsters vs Mike's Detailing, with no prediction on the winner.
• Can't Touch This continue their tradition of dominating the regular season, and losing in the playoffs... to Jabronies this time.
• Intentional Clowning beat Select in the D6 Finals.

But what do we know?  We went 3 out of 6 on last season's bold predictions:

• Two Tuddies vs PowerPuff Girls run it back in the Finals... but this time with both teams in D4.  [Fucking NAILED it.  It's hard enough to pick one Finals team, let alone both, but we crushed this one]
• Speaking of Two Tuddies, they will win more games than Three Tuddies and Four Tuddies combined.  [Do we know our Tuddies or what?  Two Tuddies had 8 regular season wins vs a combined 6 for Three and Four Tuddies.  If only every prediction could be Tuddie related.]
• Puck Bunnies will make it to the D6 Finals in their first season. [Okay, we were EXACTLY wrong on this one, as Puck Bunnies failed to win a game, and then disbanded]
• Legends will lose a game this season to a team NOT named Eyes Downtown or Sticky Bandits. [They didn't lose a game to any teams of ANY name, so we got this one wrong too]
• D-Generation XYZ will play in the D3 Finals game.  No predictions as to who wins it. [They did!  And they won it, by the way, but we can't take credit for seeing that coming]
• Every team in D5, except for Bridget & Quit It, loses at least two games. [Every team in D5 DID ultimately lose two games... Balls Deep losing one in the regular season, and then another in the Championship game... but Bridget & Quit It lost a total of four, so we struck out here too]

So there you go.  Let's get to the first QB Power Rankings of the Spring 2026 Season.  

As always, we do NOT overreact to one week's worth of games in our first Power Rankings of the season.  You also might not see MANY new people yet because we need a larger sample size to see how some of these changes play out.  Sorry if you don't like it, but if people are good enough, their stock will rise quickly and we'll get them Ranked over the next few weeks.  

Here are your Top Ten starting QBs in the TSL:

Here are some quick hits on your Top Ten QBs in the League:

• It was a pretty easy 1-2-3 ranking this week, with Eyes Downtown playing both Legends and Sticky Bandits and losing to both.  Bobby drops to #3, and Mike barely edges Joey by scoring more points against the same opponent, on the same day.
• Our 1-2-3 has been pretty firmly locked into the Joey-Bobby-Mike triangle for a while now, but with Andy Strug smashing defenses in D1 with 50 points per game, we might have to expand this triangle into a square (or rectangle, or parallelogram?) soon.
• Should we punish Garrett more for losing his D2 debut to Jabronies?  Or should we reward him for leading a Freeballers team (as a sub QB) to as many wins as they earned all of last season?  Hard to say.
• One of Joe Miano or Ryan Dougherty will probably be playing in D1 in about four months.  Who's your money on there?
• Buddy won a D3 game over a good Bullet Club team at 10 am... and then promptly disappeared for his first game as the Freeballers starting QB, while Garrett led his team to victory.  This is why he drops two spots in the standings, despite going 1-0 on the day.  Hmm, our chart still says ILF instead of ISH.  We'll fix that eventually.
• Jordan went 1-2 on Saturday, losing to BOTH of Buddy Lee's teams (with or without him) and beating Let's Get Reccked.  Not a perfect start to the season... but not bad enough to fall out of the Top Ten.

Fancy Statistics Section

Yeah, right.  You're not getting any fancy statistics out of us until at LEAST Week Four, and even then we'll tell you the sample size is too small to be meaningful (yes, we're going to copy/paste this line next week too, so get used to it)

That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week!  If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..  You tell him, he'll tell us.  

What's YOUR ranking?