- Details
- Written by Jeff Krol
- Category: TSL QB Power Rankings
- Published: 04 June 2025
- Created: 04 June 2025
- Hits: 671
Welcome back to your TSL Quarterback Power Rankings!
We’re up to a TOP TWENTY FIVE quarterbacks this year. In a league with 48 non-Breakfast Club teams, that means we’re now ranking more than half of our teams’ passers! Pretty embarrassing if you didn’t make the cut on that…
Enjoy!
#1 Bobby McConnell - Eyes Downtown
Last Week: Beat Sticky Bandits 48-24
Eyes Downtown were a broken team in the offseason. As we enter June, they’re in striking distance of first place in D1, and they’ve locked up a first round bye for the playoffs. Say what you will about Bobby McConnell, but he knows how to play this game. Eyes Downtown won’t be the “favorite” to win their division, but we’re fairly sure they’ll have the most locked in and prepared quarterback in the League.
#2 Joey Batts - Legends / Cunning Stunts
Last Week: Beat What a Dump 43-7 (Legends), tied Bullet Club 46-46 (Stunts)
Legends haven’t locked up the #1 seed yet, but they HAVE locked up a first round bye, which surprises absolutely no one. The Stunts are a more interesting team for us right now. They’re 2-2-1 on the season and sitting at +16 in point differential. Isn’t this much more fun than crushing everyone in D4? Maybe not for THEM, but this is the division this team belongs in, and their playoffs are going to be so much more interesting this time around.
#3 Mike Thomas – Sticky Bandits
Last Week: Lost to Eyes Downtown 48-24
The Sticky Bandits have scored 30+ points only once so far this season. For sake of comparison against their biggest rivals, Eyes Downtown and Legends have scored 30+ points in all THIRTEEN of their combined games so far this season. Sticky Nation is still in the hunt at 3-3, but if their goal is a championship (and we’re sure it is) they’ll need to find a way to punch it into the endzone a lot more.
#4 Ryan Dougherty - Can't Touch This
Last Week: Beat Jabronies 49-22
Can’t Touch This are undefeated and have scored 45+ points in every game they’ve played this season. We were torn on whether to move Ryan up to #3… but strength of schedule still matters, and even if Ryan is the third best QB in the League (or the second best… or maybe the best…) it still didn’t feel quite right to promote him to the top when he isn’t playing against the top teams. Maybe if Can’t Touch This beat Legends in their crossover game…
#5 Garrett Beesing - Frodo Swaggins
Last Week: Did Not Play
No games for Frodo Swaggins this week.
#6 Frank Laudico - Wanderers
Last Week: Beat Passing While Intoxicated 55-52
Fifty-five to fifty-two. DAMN, we are looking forward to the D3 championship game this season. Wanderers have two challenging games to the end the regular season between Practice Squad and 716, but they’ll be the heavy favorites in both. Should we be talking about an undefeated season at this point?
#7 Jordan Lawson – Freeballers / Mavericks
Last Week: Beat The Malones 41-40
Can’t Touch This is the class of D2 right now. Everyone acknowledges that. But Mavericks and Malones are battling it out for the right to face them in the championship game, and based on their last two matchups, it seems like Mavericks have the SLIGHTEST of edges. How many times can they win on the last play of the game like this? These have become the most Must Watch Games in the TSL every season, so if you get a chance to watch the next one (Semifinals, June 28th) you won’t want to miss it!
#8 Cody Stumpf – What a Dump
Last Week: Lost to Legends 43-7
Excluding their lone win in the Freeballers game, What A Dump has gone from 30 points scored in their first game, to 21… to 12… to 7, in their four losses. Of course, those last two are against Legends so not surprising they’re the lowest scoring, but for a team with a new QB, you’d expect to see SOME progress throughout the season. Maybe they’re saving their best plays for the “Eyes Downtown Breakup Game” this weekend!
#9 Andy Strug – The Malones
Last Week: Lost to Mavericks 41-40
Who is the QB for this team anyway? We’re sure we saw Andy Strug throwing this week, so maybe he’s taken the starting job back from Rhace? Maybe they just alternate? Who knows? Either way, the Malones have one extremely important thing working in their favor, and that is that they are the last team to hand Can’t Touch This a loss, in last Fall’s playoffs. Would you look at that, their opponent for Lenny & Rameer Day is… Can’t Touch This. Potential game of the week (and that’s saying a lot, since there are some great matchups this Saturday).
#10 Buddy Lee – Passing While Intoxicated / Interdimensional Lightning Falcons
Last Week: Lost to Wanderers 55-52 (Passing While Intoxicated)
Teams in the TSL are 23-1 this season when scoring 50+ points, and the only loss so far is PWI against Wanderers last weekend. What else can you do if you’re Buddy Lee?? He should be chewing out the defense this week, no one should lose a game like this. The encouraging thing was that they DID prove yet again that they can hang with the Wanderers. Have we MENTIONED how much we want to see this Championship game??
#11 Brandon “B” Ford – Practice Squad / Tater Tots
Last Week: Lost to Puckett 60-28 (Tots), beat 716 via forfeit (Practice Squad)
Practice Squad moved into second place in D3 with a forfeit win over 716 this week, but the Tots weren’t so lucky. How did their defense give up 60 points to Puckett on the same day that ILF held them to 16? We’re not here to beat up on the Tots defense though (that’s what Saturdays are for…)
#12 Joe Miano - Jabronies
Last Week: Lost to Can’t Touch This 49-22
The Jabronies have proven that they’re a very good team… when they play Scared Hitless. Against the rest of the League, they’re 0-3 so far. They’ll get their “beat up Show Me Your TDs by 70 points” game to fix their point differential soon, and then a winnable rematch with Mavericks this week. Assuming more or less everyone on both teams is present, that Mavericks game is going to tell us everything we need to know about Jabronies this week. Do they have a chance to beat the “good” D2 teams in the playoffs, or are they a tier below?
#13 Dylan Day - Scared Hitless
Last Week: Beat Show Me Your TDs by a few points
Has a quarterback ever beaten an opponent by NINETY POINTS and NOT gone up in the Power Rankings the next week? This is where we are with Show Me Your TDs games ladies and gentlemen… just kind of pretending they’re not happening.
#14 Alex Buchlis – Becca Gets Reccked
Last Week: Beat GirthQuakes 56-40
Let’s Get Reccked have finished their last five seasons in 5th, 5th, 7th, 6th and 6th place. BECCA Gets Reccked are in 4th place today with three games left to play this season, and if they can beat 1-3-1 Bullet Club (possible) and steal one of their two games against PWI or Practice Squad (possible) they could have their best regular season finish ever.
#15 Derek Pew - 716
Last Week: Did Not Play
No game for 716 last week… after a forfeit loss to Practice Squad. Boo.
#16 Dylan Jaloza – Bullet Club
Last Week: Tied Cunning Stunts 46-46
Ties are usually such a bummer. Scoring 46 points and tying a ridiculous squad like Cunning Stunts though, almost sounds like more of a win to us. Bullet Club is 1-3-1 but they still have yet to play the only two teams below them in the standings today, so a strong finish isn’t impossible. They’ll need to jump two spots in the standings to avoid the D3 play-in games though.
#17 Andy Clark – Buffalo Vice
Last Week: Tied D-Generation X Y and Z 22-22
What’s with all these ties? Maybe it makes sense that they’re happening in D3, which is always the TSL’s most competitive division. Buffalo Vice are one of FIVE teams in their division to be at or within 1 game of .500 at this point in the season. They’re currently only ONE spot in the standings away from a first round playoff “bye” (i.e. avoiding the play-in games) so like every other team in the division, these next two weeks are going to define their (regular) season.
#18 Damien Keller – D-Generation X Y and Z
Last Week: Tied Buffalo Vice 22-22
D-Generation X Y and Z are averaging 23.2 points per game on offense. Good enough to compete, but not good enough to find themselves on the right side of the .500 line in the standings. The solution is obvious: they need another generation of Keller to bail them out. Does Damien have any grown children yet?
#19 Kyle Conniff – PowerPuff Girls
Last Week: Beat Sausage McMuffins 61-14
A week ago, there were three undefeated teams in D5 a week. PowerPuff Girls just kicked the shit out of one of them, and they’re scheduled to play the other one this week. An easy win over the Tuddies this week will absolutely lock up the division for PowerPuff Girls (who look an AWFUL lot like a D4 team to us). Kyle is great, and his girls are great. No one is beating them this season.
#20 Matt Kieta - GirthQuakes
Last Week: Lost to Becca Gets Reccked 56-40
GirthQuakes are 1-5 today and the only team in D3 averaging weekly losses by more than one touchdown per game. Strangely, they don’t LOOK that bad to us when they play. A few of those L’s could have easily been W’s, and if you throw out the Wanderers massacre (which was over a month ago now) their point differential drops from -74 to a much more respectable -32. So, they’re underperforming, but they’re not out of it yet.
#21 Mark Dalfonso – Mike’s Detailing
Last Week: Beat Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks 33-22
Between ILF, Mike’s Detailing and Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks, ONE of these three teams is bound to win D4. They all have championship winning QBs, they’re the top three teams in their division on record AND point differential. So, what is Mike’s Detailing’s advantage? The Dalfonso experience factor. Do we really think a D1 winning QB is going to have nerves in a big game?
#22 David Eickhoff – Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks
Last Week: Lost to Mike’s Detailing 33-22
Between ILF, Mike’s Detailing and Bird Watching in my Birkenstocks, ONE of these three teams is bound to win D4. They all have championship winning QBs, they’re the top three teams in their division on record AND point differential. So, what is Bird Watching in my Birkenstock’s advantage? The veteran savvy of Dave, Bobby and Blase. Other teams will make tactical mistakes in the playoffs. Bird Watching will not.
#23 Eric Mueller - Puckett
Last Week: Beat Tater Tots 60-28, lost to Interdimensional Lightning Falcons 32-16
How DOES a team score 60 points at noon and then only 16 points at 2 pm? Puckett are in fourth place in the D4 standings today, but if we look at their point differential, they’re well behind the top three teams (and in fact they’re a hair behind seventh place Vaspian too!). If you’re a believer that point differential is a better predictor of playoff success than regular season record, you MIGHT be nervous about Puckett’s chances in the playoffs once they smoke some second tier team in the first round.
#24 Paul LoVullo – Come From Behind
Last Week: Did Not Play (forfeit win)
No game for Come From Behind this week, thanks to a late forfeit by Cobblestone. Paul missed a couple early this season, and now a forfeit… fortunately Come From Behind have played a thousand games in this League before, because he’s not getting a lot of practice this season.
#25 Mike Wolcott – Two Tuddies
Last Week: Beat Not So Sticky 29-28
Two Tuddies remain undefeated after a dramatic win over Not So Sticky. 6-0 and first place is, of course, nothing but good news for this team. But the real test comes this week with PowerPuff Girls. Do the Tuddies have enough firepower to keep up with a team that is likely to score 8 points per possession? Being 6-1 would still be an incredible start, but it feels like the Tuddies have their sites set on something greater than just a very good regular season.
Fancy Statistics Section
Here are the best (and worst!) offenses in the League, by division. If you're curious how you compare against the Buffalo Bills (SuperBowl era OR Josh Allen era) we've included their stats on the bottom as well. Enjoy!
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That's it for the TSL Power Rankings this week! If you have any thoughts about QB rankings, or you want to make sure we know who's throwing for your team, please feel free to contact our good friend This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You tell him, he'll tell us.
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